用每周七单词写的小故事(连载中)_派派后花园

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[Free Talk] 用每周七单词写的小故事(连载中)

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jasamine

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举报 只看楼主 使用道具 楼主   发表于: 2012-05-22 0
— (左。微希) 连载贴有更新的话,请点击举报,注明更新楼层,以便版主加分。O(∩_∩)O (2012-08-13 23:13) —
很久没有专门写英文故事了,不知道读起来是不是还通顺,不管怎么样,还是写出来了,争取每周更新,把故事写下去。欢迎大家指正错误,不过不要太打击我就好。
5.21-5.27 的七个词:conquer, objective, invisible, endure, confident, opponent, calendar

Universal Star Calendar, 15437
Miya cannot endure this boring life anymore. A few days ago, she just finished her trip back from the competition of Armor Fight in Burguse. Although she is just 17 years old, she has defeated all her opponents and won the match. The competition is only open for civilians and soldiers are not allowed to attend. But still, Miya operated her armor, knocked down those elder participants and obtained another champion for amateurs.

Recently she felt anxious. Miya’s objective is to win the Universal Armor Fight Match. In order to do this, she has to become a professional fighter first. Therefore, joining in the University of Armor Fight would be a great choice for next step. But she has to pass an entry entrance exam in this year or she would be too old to enroll in primary courses which will give her a chance to pick up a new armor for free. Some of armors even have a capability of being invisible on Radar. It is a latest design and it's quite expensive. Miya is confident on pass this exam, but there is a little issue she has to conquer, a phobia of aerospace aircraft. Miya's mum died when she was flying in an aircraft from Mullen a small planet in Orion solar system. Since then, Miya cannot stand to stay in aircraft over one hour. So this time, she might need to be asleep for the entire journey.
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才下眉头,却上心头。
xiaoxiao9wo

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举报 只看该作者 沙发   发表于: 2012-05-22 0
So awesome,you're keen on as well as good at  making story.Give my support to you.

楼主留言:

Thanks, I will try to keep it.

岚君。

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举报 只看该作者 板凳   发表于: 2012-05-27 0
Good job! Very interesting story! Glad to see you write this.
However, I think for entry exam, people generally say entrance exam. Also, "in" after the word exam is not necessary from my view. Usually, the preposition used with confident is "about" or "of".
There are some small punctuation problems but generally, very well done!
Looking forward to seeing more of this type of stories!

楼主留言:

I corrected it. Thanks for your suggestion and encouragement.

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举报 只看该作者 地板   发表于: 2012-05-28 0
It is really an interesting try.

I appreciate what you have done.

Keep going, and I look forward to see your story next week. O(∩_∩)O

楼主留言:

Thanks for your support. I will try to write it now.

jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 4楼  发表于: 2012-05-30 0
用每周七单词写的小故事(5.28-6.03)
[Continue from last week]
接续上一周的故事
5.28-6.03 的单词:sarcasm, honesty, contradiction, inadvertent, severe, generous, adorable

It has been a very long time since Miya was in an airport last time. As soon as she walked into this one, she began to notice that the problem is much severer than she thought.
“You still think you can do this now?” A voice suddenly appeared in her mind.
“Who is that?” Miya was scared.
What replies to her is nothing but silence.
“Maybe I had a hallucination.” Miya said to herself.
“Nope. It’s not a hallucination.” That voice continued.
“Who are you?” Miya asked.
“A generous creature you never met.” The voice was full of a proud.
“Where are you?” Miya totally forgot her phobia. She was too curious to notice the fear.
“In your mind of course. Where else can I be? ” A hint of sarcasm was in this voice.
“Who are you? Or what are you? Can you get out of me? Do I have to live with you for my rest of lifefor the rest of my life? Will you harm me? Maybe it does be a hallucination at allit is a hallucination after all.”
“Hey, hold on, sis. Stop beingDon't panic. I’m harmless to you, at least at this point. Even if I do harm you in anyway, I can promise it will be definitely inadvertent.”
“Oh, no. So you can harm me.” Miya was totally freakfreaked out now.
“Don’t worry, sis. I will beIn the spirit of honesty with you. At, at some stage, yes, I will be dangerous to anyone but now it is in a contradiction. I will help you to get on that plane you should be in half an hour and let you arrive at the university safely.” The voice sound so convinced that Miya believed it for no reason.
“You promise?” Miya asked again.
“I promise.”
“What should I do now?”
“Go to the lady’s room.”
“Okay.” Miya walked to the nearest lady’s room and found an empty enclosure. “I’m in now.”
“Just relax.” Miya sat on the lid of toilet and tried very hard not to be so nervous. Gradually, her breath became slower and slower; her eyelid became heavier and heavier. Finally, she fell into a sleep.
A small flash suddenly happened in Miya’s brain and a shadow appeared beside Miya’s body.
“Oh, such an adorable little thing.” The shadow had the same voice as Miya heard in her mind.
Miya was still in the sleep. The shadow became a wisp of smoke and immersed into her chest. Miya’s body wakedwoke up. She seems same as before in the appearance but there’s something different. Something nobody can tell.

[to be continued]
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岚君。

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举报 只看该作者 5楼  发表于: 2012-05-30 0
Some suggestions:
"She began to notice" sounds more Chinese and we could say "she realised"
hallucination is used to define false experience because of illness or drug effect, I guess here it is better to use illusion or if this is a hint of Miya took some sort of drug before entering the aircraft or she was sick, that's a great word to use~
full of a proud, I think this is a typo.
"for my rest of life", it is "for the rest of my life" usually
"Maybe it does be a hallucination at all.” I am not sure what this sentence is saying "Maybe it is just a hallucination"? be-verb is also verb, usually we don't see two verbs appear together in the same sentence. Also, "at all" is used in negative sentence only.
"Stop being panic", panic is either verb or noun, so you could say "Don't panic."
"was totally freak out now", here freak is used as a verb, so it should be freaked out.
"I will be honesty with you." Honesty is a noun, be honest with someone is the phrase that's commonly used.
"you should be in half an hour" Maybe it is you should be there (the air plane)
"a sleep" there's no space in between, I guess it is just a small typo.
"waked" the past past tense for wake is woke, waked is also sometimes used by some people, but I guess most people would still consider it not correct.
"on the appearance", I think people say in appearance, not on.

楼主留言:

Thanks for your suggestions and sorry for replying so late.

The corrections dedicate to you this time.

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举报 只看该作者 6楼  发表于: 2012-05-31 0
I really admire your imagination. Great work!
xiaoxiao9wo

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举报 只看该作者 7楼  发表于: 2012-05-31 0
Is it a long and continual fiction? What does the adorable little thing look like?I am really curious.
jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 8楼  发表于: 2012-08-02 0
用每周七单词写的小故事(7.30-8.05)
距离上一次续写已经很久啦,终于倒出空闲来继续了。

[Continue from last time]
接以前的故事

7.30-8.05 的单词:narcissistic, patent, vision, deceive, formal, shortcoming, mutation

When Miya walks out of the lady’s room, the lobby of the airport becomes such as a crowd place. An expression of patent admiration is on everyone’s face. People are talking and cheering about something. Something that Miya knows would be interesting and might be useful too.

The chaos is short-lived when a swarm of police officers come in to the lobby. The crowd are pushed away and a clear path gradually forms. A handsome young man appears in the end of the path and in people’s vision. He is in a formal uniform and Miya recognizes it as the uniform of the official armor team from the University of Armor Fight. The very university Miya wants to join. His silver eyes are coming from a beneficial mutation of royal family, Tonatiuh, an extremely powerful family. A perfect smile is on his face but it cannot deceive Miya. She knows that under that close-tailored uniform it is a narcissistic soul. It is his shortcoming he has not noticed yet, and Miya plans to use it.

[To Be Continued]
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举报 只看该作者 9楼  发表于: 2012-08-03 0
It is really a big surprise to see you again.

Actually, we just changed the rules of making sentences. You could also try to make a sentence using at most 7 words provided.

楼主留言:

Being busy to finish my thesis writing here. I can make some story but I'm bad to make a long sentence. I will try it any way.

Thanks for supporting.

[ 此帖被左。微希在2012-08-03 12:04重新编辑 ]
jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 10楼  发表于: 2012-08-03 0
补以前漏下的。
[Continue from last time]

7. 23-7.29 的单词:firefly, inappropriate, persuasive, represent, vitality, compatible, misconstrue

Miya followed the young man to the outside of VIP waiting room. It’s not easy to get in there. Her feminine charm can be very persuasive when the time comes. However, this time she does not want to just walk into the room. She needs to attract some attention from that young man. So she directly walks to the officers in front of the door.

“Ma’am, you cannot go inside.” One of the officers stops Miya.

“What do you mean I cannot go inside?” Miya’s voice is sharp.

“I’m sorry. I cannot allow you to pass.” The officer insists.

“I have to go in there. How dare you try to stop me! Who do you think you are?” Miya is offended.

“Sorry, Ma’am. I said it very clearly. You are not allowed to go into this room.” The patient of the officer has been thinner.

Before Miya says anything, the royal young man walks out. “What’s wrong here?”

Within the short distance, Miya finds his skin tone glowed with vitality.

“This lady tries to break into the VIP room.” The officer reports it.

“No, he misconstrues me. I just want to get in the VIP room. I think I left one of my earrings there. It’s the only communicator I have to be compatible with my Armor.” Miya pleads.

“Why not, please come in, …” Young man paused.

“Miya, Miya Alcmene. You can call me Miya.”

“Miya, I’m Abner, Abner Tonatiuh. Come in, Miya. Let’s see if we can find your earring.”

“But, your majesty, …”

Abner stops the officer’s words and invites Miya into the VIP room.

“Please forgive his manors. It’s always inappropriate to refuse a lady like that. Well, what does it look like? Maybe I can help.”

“It looks like this one.” Miya takes out one small earring. It’s very tiny and a shining stone embedded in silver metal.

“It’s pretty.” Abner says.

“It is. My mom left them to me and she called them fireflies because they bright up in the dark and they represent hope in her story.” Miya answers.

[To Be Continued]
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jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 11楼  发表于: 2012-08-03 0
继续补。
[Continue from last time]
7.16-7.22 的单词:expressive, foresight, teenage, countless, credulous, distress, cello

“Oh, I’m sorry for your lost.” Abner apologizes.

“No need. She was a great Mom and I don’t want to remember her with sadness.” Miya waves her hands but her expressive green eyes are full of tears.

“I can see her in you.” Abner comforts her. ”You mentioned you have an Armor. Which model is it?”

“It is model KX527L.”

“Ah, that’s a great model. It has fantastic ability on the reconnaissance but I think the power of attack is not strong enough. My personal choice would be model ZA448X. They possess two neutron canons would be my favourite.”

“You sound like a teenager who is always eager to have more violent power.” Miya teases him.

Abner laugh loudly and his voice sounds like cello, low and full of charming. “I am a teenager and I believe you are in the teenage too.”

“Are you from the University of Armor Fight?” Miya don’t wait his answer and continues. “I’m going to join the university myself. Any suggestions?”

“Suggestions? I think it is a great experience, except the countless opponents and extreme heavy distress.” Abner has a straight face.

“Really?” Miya shows her worries, “Now I have a foresight on my miserable life for the next few years.”

“HAHAHAHA… You are so credulous.” Abner laughed. “The truth is you will have your best time there.”

[To Be Continued]
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jasamine

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没有一种成功是可以一定实现的
举报 只看该作者 12楼  发表于: 2012-08-06 0
补以前的。
7. 09-7.15 的单词:surgery, anticipate, available, interfere, illegible, handy, pretest

Miya’s earing is found under the chair in a corner. Abner picks it up and hands to her. Miya puts her hand out and keeps it still. Their breath becomes slower and more careful. There’s something intense between them.

An officer’s steps’ sound interferes the moment, “Your Majesty, there’s an accident in the airport and the whole airport is locked down. It is very possible your flight will be delayed.”

“Delayed? What pretext do they throw to us this time?” Abner asks angrily with sarcasm.

“The situation is not fully clear yet, but a rumour says there’s a murder in the airport.” The officer answers calmly and respectively.

“A murder?” Miya is surprised.

“Yes, Ma’am.” The officer nods.

“Oh, I’m not Ma’am. You can call me Miya. I think I’m not old enough to be a Ma’am.” Miya shows a very sweet smile to the officer and asks. ”What happened?”

“Don’t be so naive?” Abner turns to Miya, ”It’s just a handy excuse. The airport wants to avoid the large compensation cost.”

Another officer walks in, “Your Majesty, I’m sorry to interrupt. The situation is clear now. A man was murdered in the Man’s room 15 minutes ago and the killer is anticipated to still be in the airport.”

“What?!” Abner is shocked.

Third officer rushes into the room. ”Your Majesty, the airport manager finds you an available small aircraft for you right now. It’s a retired medical emergency aircraft.”

“This is great news. Miya, if you don’t mind we can share the aircraft.” Abner finally has a good smile on his face.

“Can we? You are too nice.” Miya thanks to him.

The aircraft, the airport manager finds for them, is very small and the print on its body is totally illegible. Abner brings Miya and three officers get on the aircraft and there is an old surgical bed standing on the floor. This is a true medical aircraft.
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举报 只看该作者 13楼  发表于: 2012-08-07 0
Your imagination is so great. Are you on summer holiays?

楼主留言:

Thanks.

Nope, not really, trying to finish writing my dissertation now.

jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 14楼  发表于: 2012-08-11 0
这一周的,看看明天或者可以再补两篇。

8.06-8.12的单词:magnificent, dose, effortless, discrimination, screenshot, flame, continuation

The aircraft departures as soon as Miya’s Armor is delivered and all five of them find themselves a very comfort place to settle in it. The trip to the city, Lufetar, will be more than nine hours and they definitely can use a good rest on the road. One of the officers gives a small dose of medicine to each one of them for their own safety.

“For just in case if the sun flare have a sudden burst.” Abner explained.

Abner shows some short videos about his Armor. “I just got this small neutrino engine three months ago. I think this would be the most magnificent improvement that the University released this year. See how those movements; they are so smooth and effortless.”

“You are right. It is amazing. Could send me a screenshot of that engine? If I’m lucky enough, maybe, I can get one too.”

“Haha, Miya, in that case, you have to join the fighter team of the university first! That is not an easy job for a girl.”

“I don’t know you have sex discrimination.” Miya is surprised and then she smiles with a proud. “I believe I will.”

“I can see the flame of a warrior in your eyes. I apologize for my words. You are a true fighter. I cannot wait to see your fight!” Abner shows his apology.

“I think we can have a continuation after I pass my entrance examination.”

“My pleasure.”
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jasamine

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没有一种成功是可以一定实现的
举报 只看该作者 15楼  发表于: 2012-08-19 0
8.13 – 8.19的单词:considerate, incisive, forgive, trait, interrupt, gorgeous, elegant

Miya and Abner are quite interested in their conversation, while the others are really bored by this quiet and peaceful trip. However, this boringness is interrupted by a harsh alarm.
“What’s going on?” one of the guard stands up and shouts at the pilot.
“Someone opened the gate of the storage IV but forget to seal the cabin first.”
“What?!” All others are surprised.
“What happened?” Miya doesn’t understand why open the storage is a bad thing.
“It’s a trait of emergency ship. The cabin and the storage are connected. If someone opens the gate of storage without cut the path between them, you know what will happen.”
“Oh, My!. Who will do that?” Miya is surprised.
The alarm goes off.
“Ah, I think we are safe now.” Abner comforts Miya.
“I won’t say that so early.” The pilot says.
There’s a huge ship sudden appears in front of them. It’s a very beautiful ship. She has the gorgeous appearance and very elegant gesture.
The communication channel opens without a sign. “Please forgive us for this intrusion. We are here only for picking up what belongs to us.” A human shape black shadow appears on the screen.
“What are you talking about?” The pilot rechecks the panel. He want to know what’s wrong with his ship.
“Please release safe cabin to us!” The shadow says.
“I don’t know what you mean.” The pilot plays dumb.
“If you don’t release it now, we will have to use any necessary force!” The voice is peaceful but the meaning in the sentence is not.
“...” The pilot does not reply but he keeps pushing a button harder and harder.
However, before he can collect whatever flied out the storage, the ship in front of them shots. With a big shaking, the safe cabin is fetched by the ship and they can see that the ship turn around and flied away.
Before the ship totally disappears in their view, the shadow on the screen says, ”Thanks for your help and your life supporting system will be failure in three hours.” The screen goes dark and the ship has gone.
“Thanks for your consideration!” The voice of the pilot is full of sarcasm. However, soon enough, he found a small red light keep flashing on the screen and that is the indicator of the life supporting system.
“Damn. It’s very incisive. We have to reach the port in three hours.” The pilot shouts to others and their old ship fly to the nearest port immediately.
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jasamine

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举报 只看该作者 16楼  发表于: 2012-08-26 0
8.20-8.26的单词:cosy, peculiar, merge, starvation, stealthy, consolation, rare

The aircraft has been flying for almost three hours now, and the port does not appear on the radar yet.

“What should we do now?” Abner’s voice is full of worry and attention.

“Now? We pray!” The pilot turns around to see Abner’s face. Miya can see that the expression of desperation is on everyone’s face.

Soon, the aircraft stopped and the alarm is screaming. The air becomes thinner and thinner and everybody sits down somewhere and tries to slow down the breath. The quiet is surrounding them and death is coming.

Suddenly, Abner feels cosy and comfortable. He opens his eyes. A bright light is in front of him and he cannot see other things. But some very strange noise is around him.

A few of moments, he can move his body and he turn his head away from the light. Now he can see what is around him.

The view is rare and he cannot believe his eyes. The tall and green trees are around him, which should be only exists in the museum. A peculiar creature covered by the beautiful colored feathers is standing on a tree and that noise is coming from it.

He does not find others but no news is good news, and this can give him some consolation at this moment. His body is not fully functional yet and he has to lie there still.

The feathered creature makes a stealthy approach to him and when Abner notices it, it has already only two meters away. The eyes of the creature are full of caution. It is cared but it does not give up easily. It has been starved for a really long time. Abner begins to restore the control of his body. The creature is nearer every minute. When both of them are fighting against the time, a branch gradually merges into the ground without any warning.
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岚君。

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举报 只看该作者 17楼  发表于: 2012-08-27 0
I am delighted to see you carrying on telling the story, especially at this time.
Just one tiny reminder, when telling stories, people tend to use past tense instead of present, as stories are usually what already happened.

looking forward to see you and your stories back soon.
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不起程

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縎頭·鮳笂吇
举报 只看该作者 18楼  发表于: 2012-08-27 0
How admirable vocabulary!How can you do it?

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