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423/424 The One With Ross’s Wedding Parts I and II
423 The One With Ross’s Wedding Parts I
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. That’s a lot of Monica.
[Cut to the girls’ apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Monica: Passport, check! (As she puts away each item, she says check.) Camera, check! Traveller’s cheques, check!
Rachel: Who are you saying "check" too?
Monica: Myself. Y’know for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Ross: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Hey! Are you ready yet?
Monica: Yep! You got the tickets?
Ross: Oh! Got ‘em right here, (Pats his coat pocket) check!
[Cut to the guys’ apartment.]
Joey: It’s all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls’ apartment.)
Chandler: You got your passport?
Joey: Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser. You don’t want to lose that.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesn’t know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Joey: Ohh!! (Runs to his room.)
Chandler: There it is.
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, it’s in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator…
Phoebe: Okay, okay, but Rachel’s gonna be here too, can’t I just ask her this stuff?
Monica: Yeah, okay, give that a try!
Chandler: (entering, with Joey) All right! Let’s do it!
Joey: Woo-hoo!!
Ross: Yeah, cheerie-o!
Joey: London baby!
Chandler: Okay, ‘cause that’s not gonna get annoying.
Joey: (louder) London baby!!
Chandler: Hey, y’know what? I was wrong.
Ross: Well, we’re all here! I guess we should get going!
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I don’t—can’t get up.
Ross: Oh, I’ll-I’ll come hug you.
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh, have a great wedding!
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Chandler: Hey! (Trots over)
Phoebe: Oh, and great! You might as well bring me my book, it’s on the counter in your apartment.
Chandler: Oh. (Goes and gets Phoebe’s book as Rachel comes in from her room.)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, we’re off.
Rachel: Have fun!
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I can’t believe you’re not gonna be there!
Rachel: Oh, I know.
Ross: So-so come! Why don’t you come?
Rachel: What?!
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? It’ll mean so much to me.
Rachel: Yeah, well, I gotta work, I’m sorry.
Ross: Why-why can’t you take a couple of days off?
Rachel: Because, I can’t! Ross, I told you, no. I can’t.
Ross: This is my wedding.
Monica: All right, y’know what? We really are late! Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!!
Ross: Fine. You’ll-you’ll watch it on video when we get back.
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebe’s book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Ross: All right, let’s go! Bye, Pheebs!
Joey: Bye, Pheebs!
(They all start out, Rachel gives each one a kiss, and says "bye." In the hall, Joey says…)
Joey: London baby!! (And Rachel slowly closes the door, sadly.)
Phoebe: Oh, do you need a hug? You don’t have to bring me anything!
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves it’s entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
[Scene: Street in front of the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler exit. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.]
Joey: Come on! Do something!
Chandler: I am, I’m ignoring you.
Joey: Okay, here! (Gives him the camera.) I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey. (Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.)
Chandler: Oh, what the hell is that?
Joey: It’s London, baby! All right, the hotel’s here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go… No. I know. (Sets the map down.) I’m gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, we’re not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where they’re gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Emily: …and that was all before 10 o’clock. The caterer rang and said it was going to be Chicken Kiev instead of Chicken Tarragon. And then the florist phoned to say there aren’t any tulips. Oh, and the chilliest has carpel-tunel syndrome. We’re not gonna be…
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?
Emily: Well, up yours too!
Ross: What?! No! No! That’s-that’s time-out!
Emily: Sorry.
Ross: Sweetie, you gotta relax. Everything’s gonna be great, okay? Come on. Come on.
Monica: Chicken Kiev?
Ross: Um-hmm! Doesn’t that sound delicious at the last minute?
Monica: Yeah, y’know, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldn’t have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I can’t wait to see this place you’re getting married!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah. Yes, this place is beautiful. Emily’s parents got married here.
Emily: I still can’t believe they’re tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building you’ll ever see. I mean it’s over… (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Monica: It’s nice.
Emily: Oh. Oh. (She starts running towards the building.)
[Cut to inside.]
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Ross: It’s all right! Everything’s gonna be all right.
Emily: How’s it gonna be all right?!
Ross: Uh-huh, I see that.
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Ross: What? What?
Monica: They torn it down a few days early.
[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I’ve ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: I think it’s great. It’s great. Y’know, they’re thinking of changing the name of this place.
Joey: Really? To what?
Chandler: To Put the Camera Away!!!
Joey: Man, you are Westminster Crabby. (He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Oh. Oh.
Rachel: Oh, honey! Don’t get up! What do you need?
Phoebe: Oh, no. Oh, nothing.
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Phoebe: Okay, I have a wedgie.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Rachel: Oh, I don’t know. I guess we have to eat.
Phoebe: Yeah, I do. What’s the matter?
Rachel: I’m just bummed about the way I left things with Ross. I shouldn’t have lied to him about having to work. He seemed so mad at me.
Phoebe: Eh, don’t be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married…
Rachel: (interrupting) Still in love with?!
Phoebe: Yeah!
Rachel: I’m not in love with Ross!
Phoebe: Oh. No. No. Good! Yeah, me neither.
Rachel: Phoebe, I’m going to Ross’s wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, I’m still in love with him! I mean, hey, y’know, I like Ross as much as the next guy, y’know? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings don’t mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesn’t mean that-that I’m still in love with him. Y’know? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love him—Ohh! Oh my God! Oh my—why didn’t you tell me?!!
Phoebe: We thought you knew!
Rachel: We?!
Phoebe: Yeah, we all know! We talk about it all the time!
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Phoebe: Oh no, Ross doesn’t know anything.
Rachel: Oh, I can not believe you didn’t tell me!
Phoebe: Well, because we thought you knew!! It’s so obvious! God, that would be like telling Monica, "Hey, you like things clean."
[Scene: A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.]
Joey: Hey!
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? We’ve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. That’s the stuff. What do you think?
Chandler: Well, I don’t have to buy that, "I’m with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Chandler: All right, look, you’re not really gonna buy that are you? Don’t you think you’ve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Joey: Oh, I embarrass you?
Chandler: How can I answer that when I’m pretending I don’t know you?
The Vendor: He’s just jealous. You’ll fit right in; all Londoners wear them!
Chandler: Oh really? Then how come no one here is wearing them?
The Vendor: (looks around) They’re all tourists.
Chandler: All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y’know, you’re gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.
Joey: Oh yeah? (Puts the hat on.) If you’re gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.
The Vendor: Good choice.
Joey: Thanks.
Chandler: Okay, wait. All right, that’s it, okay, I’m out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore! (He trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.)
[Scene: The hotel, Ross’s room, Emily is entering.]
Emily: Hello?
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think we’ll be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily: We don’t have to.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-what? You found a place?
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Ross: She said what?
Emily: She said, "If I’m not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Ross: Postpone it? Emily, do you think Monica realises how much our parents spent on this wedding? Do you my sister’s teeny-tiny little brain comprehends that people took time out of their lives to fly thousands of miles to be here, huh? (He puts his pants on backwards.) This isn’t right.
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, I’m sure they’ll come back when we can do it right.
Ross: I can’t ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Emily: Don’t you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere that’s half-decent would’ve be booked months ago, Ross don’t you understand? This is our wedding I’m talking about.
Ross: The only thing I understand is; postponing it is not an option. This is when we’re getting married.
Emily: So what are you saying? It’s now or never?
Ross: No. I’m saying it’s now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
Emily: Or?
Ross: There’s no ‘or’ in mind. What is wrong with these pants?!!
Emily: It’s not the pants. It’s you that is backwards. And if, and if you don’t understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldn’t get married at all! (She storms out.)
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please—(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the couch as Rachel returns carrying a bunch of shopping bags.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: (depressed) Hi.
Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?
Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.
Phoebe: Well, I think I can help you get over him.
Rachel: You can?
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Rachel: Um-hmm.
Phoebe: And a small piece of chocolate.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: And a glass of tepid water. (She gathers up all of these things.)
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didn’t feel like getting up. Okay, I’m gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And you’re going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think he’s such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that you’re with Ross okay and imagine that you’re kissing him. And you’re-you’re running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross it’s some kind of grease, it’s—uck! Hah?
Rachel: I don’t know, his uh, his hair never really bothered me that much, and y’know it was always more crunchy than it was greasy.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, let’s try some uh, aversion therapy.
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: Okay?
Rachel: All right.
Phoebe: So uh, now look at the picture…
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: All right, and umm… (She grabs the picture and smacks her in the head.)
Rachel: Ow!
Phoebe: Okay, how do you feel now?
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey’s hotel room. Chandler is watching TV as Joey returns, still wearing his hat.]
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Chandler: No-no-no, y’know what? I really shouldn’t have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn’t cool. And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve had a really lousy day.
Joey: Me too.
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Noo!! I’ve had the best day ever! Dude, check this out!
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Fergie: (Yep, Sarah, the Duchess of York) Okay, so umm, what’s your friend’s name?
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
Fergie: Hi Chandler! (Waves)
Chandler: That’s… That’s was…
Monica: Oh my God!
Joey: That’s Fergie baby!!
Fergie: Joey says you don’t really like his hat, but I think it’s kinda dashing.
Chandler: How did you? How? How?
Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, right? So, I’m in my map and-and…(Ross enters) Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Ross: Am I?! And was it your idea to postpone the wedding?!
Monica: Umm…
Chandler: I’m gonna go to the bathroom.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Ross: Hey-hey, since you’re the ‘fix-it’ lady, here’s a pickle, what do you do when the bride says she doesn’t want to have the wedding at all?
Monica: She said that?!
Ross: Yeah.
Monica: Why?!
Ross: I don’t know, I told her it was stupid to put off the wedding just because the hall was gone and she liked flipped out.
Monica: Oh my God. You’re even dumber than I am!
Ross: Excuse me?
Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?
Ross: I don’t know. A month?
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: I had no idea. And that-that pillowcase thing, I thought you guys were just doing the flying nun.
Monica: Sometimes we were.
Ross: Come on. You gotta help me figure out what to do. Okay?
Monica: Okay.
Ross: Come on. (They leave and Chandler sticks his head out.)
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Joey: Yeah. (Pause) Hey, I hope Ross didn’t think that we just went in there because we were uncomfortable being out here!
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Phoebe: Hello.
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! It’s Joey!
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on the—that looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say ‘hi!’ but then I figured, he doesn’t care if he looks like you.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Phoebe: Ohh, they’re having a great time with their Aunt Phoebe! Aunt Rachel hasn’t been helpful at all. So, do you miss me?
Joey: Kinda, but I’ve just been having way too much fun.
Phoebe: So you’re not homesick yet?
Joey: No, I don’t think so.
Phoebe: All right, the seven of us miss you.
Joey: Who’s seven?
Phoebe: Y’know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies…
Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?
(There is a knock on Rachel and Phoebe’s door.)
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guy’s here!
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Phoebe: Yeah. But y’know we were thinking about you, y’know we ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Phoebe: Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, he’s happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
[Scene: Ross and Emily’s planned wedding place, Monica is dragging Emily in.]
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
Monica: You’ll see.
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
(At that Ross plugs in some Christmas lights to light the place up.)
Emily: Oh God.
Ross: Okay? But-but imagine a lot more lights, okay? And-and y’know fewer bricks, and-and-and flowers, and candles…
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and… (Points to Ross) You go.
Ross: But-but, if you don’t love this, we’ll do it in any other place at any other time. Really, it’s fine, whatever you want.
Emily: It’s perfect.
Ross: And, I don’t know, if it starts to rain…
Emily: Well then we’ll get wet. (They kiss.)
Monica: Ohh. And I don’t even have a date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is in her bedroom.]
Rachel: Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Rachel: Do you remember where the duck food is?
Phoebe: Yeah, it’s in the guys’ apartment under the sink. Why?
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because I’m going to London.
Phoebe: What?! What do you mean you’re going to London?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you don’t have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Phoebe: I—Rachel, you can’t go! Ross loves Emily!
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.
Phoebe: That’s not why you’re going! You’re going because you hope he’s gonna say, "Yeah, I love you too, Rach. Forget that British chippy."
Rachel: Ohh—Do you think he will?!
Phoebe: No! Because he’s in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, you’re just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Y’know, it’s too late! You missed you’re chance! I’m sorry, I know this must be really hard, it’s over.
Rachel: Y’know what? No. It’s not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesn’t stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. I’m carrying a litter.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Moving Shot towards The Waltham House. A phone is ringing.]
Housekeeper: The Waltham Residence.
Phoebe: Oh...yes..is this..umm..Emily’s Parents’ house.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: (In a British accent) This is Phoebe Buffay. I was wondering, please, if-if it’s not too much trouble, please, umm, might I speak to Miss Emily Waltham, please?
Housekeeper: Miss Waltham, is at the rehearsal dinner and it’s not polite to make fun of people. Goodbye.
Phoebe: No no no, I’ll be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Housekeeper: I’m afraid, I’m not at liberty to divulge that information.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you don’t give me that number then I’m going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Housekeeper: Hangs up.
Phoebe: Hello, Hello. Ohh, OHH, she knew I could kick her ass.
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Monica: Hey.
Ross: (Ross hugs his mom and dad)Hi. Mom. Dad.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Mrs. Geller: Jack, that’s what they call the subway.
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Emily: Ohh, here comes my dad and stepmum. Mister and Misses Geller, this is Steven and Andrea Waltham.
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling it’s the Gellers. (She pays no attention she’s talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, it’s the Gellers. (She’s still not responding.) She’s very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Mrs. Waltham: (Looking evilly at her husband) Sorry, what?
Mr. Waltham: It’s the Gellers!
Mrs. Waltham: Where?
Mr. Waltham: Well there’s one (pointing towards Jack) and there’s another (pointing towards Judy).
Mrs. Waltham: Lovely to meet you.
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, we’re happy to do it.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Monica: Ha ha, a joke that’s funny in all countries.
(Ross quickly directs the families to their tables.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Joey: What’s in it?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)That’s not food...No, I don’t, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can’t even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Joey, it’s been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Mr. Geller: (Looking at ht wedding bill.) What the hell!!!
Ross: what’s up, Dad?
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. it’s insane.
Mrs. Geller: How could it be so much? The receptions at their house.
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. I’m paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) I’m going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I don’t want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mrs. Geller: Ooh, Jack....(He looks over to her) Sometimes I forget how powerful you can be. (They embrace and kiss passionately.)
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And I’m going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
[Scene: An airport in New York.]
Rachel: (Running to the ticket counter) Ooh, ooh, ooh,ooh,ooh. (Slightly out of breath) Hi.
Ticket Agent: (Cheerfully.) Hello.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Ticket Agent: (looking at her computer terminal) There’s one leaving in thirty minutes.
Rachel: Ohh, good.
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Rachel: Ohh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ticket Agent: The last minute fare on this ticket is twenty seven hundred dollars.
Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just don’t think I have enough left on my credit card.
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
Rachel: Ohh, okay, how about five. (She hands her all the credit cards.) Ohh, thank you.
Ticket Agent: I’m just going to need to see your passport.
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I don’t have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
Ticket Agent: (Slides the twenty back and tosses her credit card onto the counter.)
[Scene: The Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross is at the Walthams’ table discussing the bill.]
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Mr. Waltham: Ahh, then you have to give us the lawn ornaments.
Ross: I go back there with lawn ornaments, he’s going to laugh in my face.
Mrs. Waltham: This is ridiculous. I mean we had an agreement. (Ross looks frustrated. She begins to scream at her husband.) Will you say something, Steven?! Please!!!
Mr. Waltham: Don’t take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Rachel: (Running back out the door with her passport.) Bye, Pheebs.
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Chandler: I’d like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Mrs. Waltham: Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Ross’s sister Monica.
Mrs. Waltham: Who is this?
Phoebe: Oh, I’m Phoebe Buffay. I’m one of Ross’s best friends.
Mrs. Waltham: Well, if you’re on e of Ross’s best friends, why aren’t you here?
Phoebe: Yeah, um, I can’t fly. I’m having my brother’s babies.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Phoebe: No..umm, could I talk to one of them? It’s very very important.
Mrs. Waltham: No, I’m bored with you now. I’m going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay, I’m going to have to kick her ass too.
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And I’m sure we’re all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now I’m not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
(One of the bridesmaids, Felicity, puts her arm around Joey.)
Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.
[Scene: Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler and Monica are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.]
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Chandler: Out loud?
Monica: Well I didn’t want everyone to think I was stupid.
Chandler: So how are you doing?
Monica: My mother’s driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married. I’m happy. (A drunken man approaches.) I’m not going to let anything spoil that.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Monica: Well, thanks, we like him.
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
(Ross and Emily’s parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Mr. Geller: There’s no way in hell, I’m paying for it.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, I’m not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it weren’t for us, cheap little man. (Emily’s stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
(Chandler’s trying to console Monica.)
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? There’s no way, you look like Ross’s mother.
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Chandler: Because he’s crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica: Oh, my mother’s right. I’m never going to get married.
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldn’t want you?
Monica: Ohh, Please?! I’m a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
[Scene: The airport. Rachel runs up to the ticket counter.]
Rachel: Hi, I’m back. Listen, I need to...
Ticket Agent: Hello.
Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Ticket Agent: Oh I’m afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ You’re going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Ticket Agent: I can’t do that.
Rachel: Sure, you know what? Come on, we’ll just tell them that there was like a problem with like the "engine".
Ticket Agent: I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step aside, Miss.
Rachel: Look, If I don’t get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
Ticket Agent: I can’t imagine why.
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Ross bursts into the room.]
Ross: (Screaming) I’m getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
Ross: I’m getting married, to..day!!
Chandler: Yeah you are!!
Ross: Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. There’s an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Chandler: Well I’ve-I’ve never done that with you before.
Monica: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She chuckles uneasily.)
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Monica: Yep, yep...You?
Chandler: Yes...Yes..Uh-huh, You?(Looking over at her. She looks back.) We did you.
Monica: Well...I’d better get going.
Chandler: Oh yea yea, absolutely.
Monica: (Scoots towards the side of the bed.) Could you not look?
Chandler: I don’t want to look.
[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]
Rachel: Ohhh.(she rhythmically taps her hands on the magazine on her lap.)
Passenger: Ahh, ahh, excuse me.
Rachel: Yeah?
Passenger: If you’re planning on doing that throughout the entire flight. Please tell me now. So that I could that a sedative...or perhaps slip you one.
Rachel: Oh. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. Sorry. (She hums and sighs happily.) It’s just, I’m ahh, I’m kinda excited. I’m, ahh, going to London to ahh, tell this guy that I love him and... (He puts his headphones on to ignore her.)
[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]
Joey: Hello?
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Joey: Hey. I spent the night out. I met this cute bridesmaid. She is so...
Phoebe: I don’t want to hear about her!!
Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know you’re still my number one girl.
Phoebe: No! No, we have an emergency. Okay? Rachel’s coming to London.
Joey: Ohh great!!!
Phoebe: No it’s not great. No, she’s coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
Joey: (Confused.) But, he loves Emily?
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! She’s going to ruin the wedding!!
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe: All right, so, okay...
Joey: Hold on. Hold on. (Picking up a note pad and writing and reading the message aloud.) Rachel coming. Do...Something.
Phoebe: Okay, so I’m done my part, okay. It’s your responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?
Joey: Right!
Phoebe: So tell me about this girl?
(The guys hotel room. Joey’s there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
Chandler: (Very defensive.) I’m not seeing Monica.
Joey: (With a confused look on his face.) What?
Chandler: What?
Joey: Look we’ve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachel’s coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
Chandler: Oh my god!
Joey: I know! That’s why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Chandler: No!! Okay!! What’s with the third degree?! Why don’t you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldn’t come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! I’m sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: Ehh, pardon me?
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet you’re about to ruin the happiest day of his life. I’m afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Passenger: But why? He loves this...this Emily person. No good can come of this.
Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesn’t know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
[Scene: The church where Ross and Emily are to be married. Judy, Andrea, and Monica enter together.]
Mrs. Geller: (Looking around at the chapel.) Oh my God! It’s like a fairyland.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, it’s horrible isn’t it?
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. I’ll cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I don’t even like Chandler.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. It’s the second one.
Ross: (Very Nervous)Really?
[Scene: Joey’s in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Felicity: (In a sexy voice.)Hello Joey.
Joey: Hey, Felicity.
Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all day.
Joey: Yeah.
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)
Joey: Oh, yeah.
(Back in the chapel. The parents are still fighting over the bill. Ross is refereeing.)
Mrs. Geller: There’s nothing to discuss. We’re not paying for your wine cellar.
Mr. Waltham: (Pleading.) You-you have to meet me in the middle here.
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Ross: Dad!! (Emily comes running in.)
Emily: What-what’s going on?!
Ross: Nothing, nothing. Everything's under control.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! That’s it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! >From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) That’s right!!
Mr. Geller: Okay, okay.
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Emily: What was all that about?
Ross: (Sighing.) It was...This disagreement over...(She sighs. Ross notices her in her wedding dress.) My god. You...you look beautiful.
Emily: (Giggles.) Ohh...(She realizes that she’s in her gown.) Oh! You were not meant to see me before the wedding. It’s bad luck.
Ross: You know what, I think we’ve had all the bad luck we’re going to have. (He hugs her.)
(The front entrance. Joey and the bridesmaid are up against the wall kissing. Rachel comes in the door and walks by Joey unnoticed. She walks into the chapel and sees Ross and Emily kissing. She looks as though she wants to cry. Emily walks away and Ross turns and sees Rachel standing there.)
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I can’t believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. She’s almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
[Scene: Camera fades to one of the band members playing guitar at the wedding. The chapel is full of guest. A groomsmen escorts a bridesmaid down the isle. Joey is waiting with Mrs. Waltham to escort he down the isle. A cellular phone rings.]
Mrs. Waltham: (Answering the phone.) Hello, Waltham Interiors.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. It’s Phoebe again.
Mrs. Waltham: (Throws her head back in disgust.) Why?!
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joey’s chest.) Joey there’s a girl on the phone for you.
Joey: (Smiling.) Ohh great!! (Putting the phone to his ear.) Hello. (He begins to escort her down the aisle.)
Phoebe: Did you stop Rachel?
Joey: No, but it’s okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
Phoebe: So nothing got ruined?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Oh that’s so great! Ohh, so what’s going on now?
Joey: Ah, I’m-I’m walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) I’m about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now I’m at the front with Ross. It’s Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...I’d better go.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Ross’s shoulder.)
(Chandler escorts Monica down the aisle.)
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Monica: Stupid.
Chandler: Totally crazy stupid. (He nods his head at the people seated.)
Monica: What were we thinking?
Chandler: I’m coming over tonight though, right?
Monica: Oh yeah. Definitely.
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Ross’s side.)
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
Emily: I, Emily...
Minster: Take thee Ross...
Emily: Take thee Ross...
Minster: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.
Emily: As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.
Minster: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Ross: I Ross...
Minister: Take thee, Emily...
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
CLOSING CREDITS
THE END
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423 罗斯的婚礼 （第一集）424 罗斯的婚礼 （第二集）
伙计们，快点！
飞机航班还有四个小时就要起飞了！
打的还要时间！路上还有可能会堵车！
飞机还有可能提前起飞！
回头到了伦敦，通关还要排队呢！快快快！
飞去伦敦要六个小时
有MONICA在，一路上有得我们受的。
护照，检查完毕，
照相机，检查完毕，
旅行支票，检查完毕！
你跟谁报告呢?
我自己。
就是为了打包的时候避免忘记东西。
对啦，做对了一件事，就检查一下。
我妈就是这样
我倒是从来没有觉得这很怪。
哼，我妈还曾经把头放进烤箱里呢
实际上她只这么干过一次，
这倒是挺怪的。
嗨！
嗨，你都准备好了吗？
没问题！你拿到机票了？
哦，对了，拿到了，瞧，检查完毕！
去伦敦喽！出发！
你拿了护照了吗？
哦，在我衣柜的第三个抽屉里，怎么可能忘记呢？
哦！！
这就对了。
好了，如果要用吸尘器
就在壁橱里左手边
嗯，垃圾袋在冰箱旁边
行了行了，RACHEL不是在这儿吗？
我问她不就行了？
哦，行啊，回头你试试？
好啦好啦，快走吧！
-是啊，太高兴了！
去伦敦喽！
行了，还不够吵吗？
去伦敦喽！！
说实话，刚才算我说错。
行了，大家都在了吧，我想我们该走了！
欧，真想过去拥抱你一下，
祝你婚礼的时候一切顺利，可是我爬不起来。
没关系，我过来拥抱你好了。
太好了，哦对了，能不能把那报纸带过来？
好。
婚礼一切顺利！
谢谢。
嗨，钱德，我也想拥抱你！
太棒了！
哦对了，你也得帮我把我的书带过来，在你们公寓的吧台上。
好吧。
那么我们走了。
玩得开心点！
谢谢，不敢相信你居然不和我们一起去！
我能理解。
算了，一起去吧！干嘛不去？
什么？
一起去伦敦，求你了？就算是为了我。
没办法，我要上班的呀，真对不起。
为什么不能请几天假呢？
因为我不能请假，罗斯，跟你说了我不能去。
这是我的婚礼啊！
行了，知道吗？我们已经晚了，快走！快走！快走！
那好吧，等我们回来的时候你看录像带吧。
来了小菲比！来了懒菲比！臭菲比！乖菲比！
谢谢你。
好了，走喽！
再见，菲比！
去伦敦喽！
要来拥抱一下吗？
不用给我带任何东西的。
嗨，钱德，做点什么吧！
来吧，干点什么！
我正当你不存在。
那好，拿着！你来拍我吧！
好了，第一站，西敏寺大教堂。
哈，这是什么？
这不就是伦敦吗！
好吧，旅馆，在这儿。
等等，不对，我们要往。。。不对，这么办吧。
我得站到地图上去。
噢？有没有一个缩小的我在上面？踩死他！
知道了，走吧。
我说，我们不会这样走一整天吧？
嘘！瞧，你又让我迷失了方向！
那时候还不到十点，厨师跑过来告诉我
要用基辅鸡肉代替龙嵩叶鸡肉。
然后花店又说没有郁金香了，对了，
椒花都生了蛀虫，我们就没法。。。
喔喔喔！埃米莉，亲爱的
啊？去你的！
什么？
哦，你不是那意思？
哦不不不，这是暂停的意思！
抱歉。
亲爱的，放松，一切都会好的，好吗？
行了，行了。
基辅鸡肉？
是啊，听起来最后一定很美味不是吗？
我是说，也许鲑鱼一类的东西比鸡肉看起来档次更高一点。
而且你还不用担心会感染沙门氏菌。
不过，选鲑鱼的话，也许我们还得担心‘鸡门氏菌’
我迫不及待想看你们结婚的地方了！
是啊，是啊，没错，这地方可漂亮了，
埃米莉的父母就在这里结的婚。
我还是不敢相信他们居然要拆掉它，
那绝对是最漂亮的建筑，我是说自从。。。。。
噢，天哪！
漂亮
哦哦。。
天哪。
怎么会这样？我们怎么办？
别担心，一切都会搞定的。
怎么搞定？
我也不知道。
我和那个拿铲子的人聊过了，他告诉了我怎么回事。
怎么了，怎么了？
他们提前了几天拆迁。
这就是了，西敏寺大教堂！
太简单了，我见过的最好的教堂。
嗨。好了，你觉得这教堂怎么样？钱德？
我觉得不错，非常好，你知道吗，
他们正在考虑要把这地方的名字改掉。
是吗？改成什么？
改成“拿开照相机”！！！
老兄，你可以叫“西敏寺神经病”
哟，别起来，你要什么我给你拿。
哦，没什么。
没关系，我留在这里就是为了照顾你！
你要什么？随便什么都行。
好吧，我要换鞋。
那你还是自己来吧。
午饭吃什么？
我不知道，我们非得吃吗？
是啊，我得吃。怎么了？
我只是觉得我和罗斯最后说的话差劲到了极点。
我不应该骗他说我要上班的。
他看起来对我可火大了。
别对自己太苛刻，如果我还爱着的
某个人也结婚了的话。。。。
还爱着？
是啊！
我现在不爱罗斯！
哦，对，不爱，不爱，很好。
我也是。
菲比，之所以不去罗斯的婚礼是因为
他是我的前男友，我在那里会浑身不舒服。
不是因为我还爱着他！
我是说，我喜欢罗斯更甚于别的男朋友，
很明显我对罗斯有那种感觉，可是那种感觉不是爱啊！
我是说，我还对他有爱慕的感觉。
这就对了！
可是那只是余情未了，这不意味着我现在还爱着他啊！
你知道吗？我有时侯觉得他很性感，
可那是因为我还爱着他。。。。哎呀！
我的天啊，你们怎么不早告诉我？
我们以为你知道！
你们？！
是啊，我们都知道，大家老是在聊你们！
你们都知道？罗斯知道吗？
哦，不，他什么也不知道。
真不敢相信你居然不告诉我！
那是因为我们以为你自己知道！太明显了！
就象你告诉MONICA，“嘿，你爱清洁。”
嗨
哟，到市场逛逛来啦？我们有..
嗯...领带,郁金香的明信片...
瞧这个怎么样?
哈,这正是我想要的,你觉得呢?
我可不想在让人觉得我穿着一件上面
写着"我和个傻瓜在一起"的T桖了.
反正我喜欢,就这件了.
我说,你不会真的要买吧?你不觉得你
一天之中让我尴尬的次数够多的了吗?
哦,我让你尴尬了?
我现在装着不认识你,怎么跟你说话?
他不过是嫉妒罢了,你是我见过的伦敦人里面戴着最合适的.
是吗? 那为什么周围没有一个人戴这个玩艺?
他们都是些游客.
那好吧,如果你坚持在公共场合戴这东西,
那今天下午你就一个人去玩吧.
哦是吗?
如果让我在你和帽子之间挑选一个,我选帽子.
选得好.
谢谢.
行了,到此为止,我要走了,我可不想在让你使我尴尬了.
有人吗?
嗨,我刚和你爸谈过,知道吗?
他看上去可以帮我们找一个新的地方举行婚礼.
不用了.
什么?难道你找了个地方?
没有,不过我刚才和MONICA聊过了,
那时我因为那教堂要拆掉而很不爽.
然后她建议我们应该把婚礼稍微推迟一点.
她建议什么?
她说,"如果我不想在一个仓促之间找到的
地方结婚,那么我们应该推迟举行婚礼."
推迟?
埃米莉,你不觉得莫尼卡没有意识到我们的父母
已经为这婚礼投入了很多吗?
你不觉得我妹妹她那个奇小无比的脑子根本就没有意识到
大家已经花了时间和金钱飞行数千英里到了这里吗?
这可不行.
我知道大家会感到失望的.
不过我相信等我们一切就绪了,他们还是会回来的.
我可不能和大家说这事,你愿意去说吗?
别用你的裤子指着我!
我们没办法才这样的! 我们一个月前预定
的可不是那幢拆了一半的房子,
罗斯你不明白吗?我是在说我们的婚礼!!
反正我认为推迟不是个好主意,无论如何我们就得现在结婚.
好吧,你说吧,现在结婚或者再也不结婚?
不,我是说现在结婚.
或者?
没有"或者",这裤子到底怎么了?
不是裤子的问题,是你自己穿反了.
如果你意识不到这婚礼对我来说
有多重要的话,那也许我们不该结婚!!
等等,埃米莉,不,等等,别走,埃米莉,求你了?
嗨
出去采购让你感觉好些了吗?
曼哈顿的店还不够多.
嗯,也许我能帮你忘记他.
你行吗?
没问题,你只需要拿点罗斯的照片给我.
恩
还有一小片巧克力.
好.
还有一小杯温水.
哦,我知道了，是不是把这些东西和墓地里
的泥土一起放到一个包里然后
挂到一棵面向北边的树上?
除非你也打嗝.
照片是你用的，水和巧克力是给我用的，我只是不想爬起来.
好了，我现在要你看着罗斯的照片,
行吗? 然后你就想他所有的坏处.
行吗?只要想他的缺点.
当然行,我们俩还在一起的时候我就常干这个.
那好，对了，在我们开始之前,
我必须说其实我觉得他不坏,我很喜欢他.
好了，现在开始吧,闭上眼睛.
想象你和罗斯在一起.
然后想象你正在吻他.
然后你的手抚遍他的全身.
然后你用手梳理他的头发....但是...
哎呀....满手都是油,太差劲了不是吗?
我不知道,我从来没有为他的头发烦恼过.
我倒是更烦他头发老是悉里索落的响.
那好吧,这比我想象的更难.
好吧,让我们试试"厌恶疗法"
好吧.
好吧,开始.
现在看着照片.
好了.
然后,嗯...
哎呀!
好了,现在感觉如何?
我开始不喜欢你了!
嗨.
对了,对不起.
真的,我不该说你让我尴尬,我只是说那不够酷.
如果能让你感觉好些的话,我今天过得可没意思了.
我也是.
是吗?
当然不是,这是我最兴奋的一天! 伙计看看这个!
嗨!
嘘!
好了,和我的朋友打个招呼,告诉他你喜欢这顶帽子.
好的,对了,你朋友叫什么?
哦,他叫钱德.
嗨,钱德!
那不是...那是...
天哪!
那是公爵夫人!!
乔伊说你不喜欢这顶帽子,不过我觉得还挺俏皮的.
你怎么能...?到底怎么回事?
是这样,我那时正在想办法去白金汉宫,然后,我站到了地图上,然后....
嗨!
我听说你和埃米莉小聊了一会儿.
没错,你不用谢我了.
谢你? 是你的主意说要推迟婚礼的吗?
嗯...
我要去洗手间.
等等.
你不是个解决问题的高手吗?我们有麻烦了.
如果新娘说她再也不想结婚了你怎么办?
她是这么说的?
是啊.
为什么?
我不知道,我跟她说只因为那个教堂被拆而推迟婚礼实在太蠢了,然后她就发火了.
天哪,你比我更蠢.
什么?
罗斯,你为这个婚礼计划了多久?
不记得了,一个月?
埃米莉大概从五岁开始就计划了!
也许从她拿了个白枕套挂在脑袋后面的时候就开始了.
我们女孩都是这样的!
我们梦想有一个完美的婚礼.
和一个完美的地点.
和一个完美的四层结婚蛋糕
有小人立在上面的那种.
不过最重要的是我们拥有一个
能理解那些东西有多重要的人.
这我可不知道.
我记得那白枕套的事情,我还以为
你们是在扮"会飞的修女"呢.
有时候是的.
不说那么多了,赶快帮我出出主意吧,好吧?
走吧.
刚才的气氛可真紧张,不是吗?
没错,哦对了,我想罗斯知道我们一起进去
只是因为不适合呆在这里吧?
我希望他明白.
你好.
嗨,菲比!是乔伊!
嗨，乔伊！嗨！哦，对啦，
我刚才在地铁站看到一个人长得可象你了。
我刚想过去打个招呼，突然我意识到
如果他真的象你的话，他才不会理会我呢。
说这事就花了我五美元？
好了，我打电话过来是想问问小鸡小鸭怎么样了。
噢，他们和菲比阿姨在一起很快活。
瑞秋阿姨可什么忙也没帮上。
那你想我吗？
有点，不过我在这里特别有意思。
那你不想家喽？
不是这么说。
行了，我们七个都很想你。
哪七个？
还用问？我，瑞秋，鸡鸭们，还有孩子们...
哦?你的三胞胎也在想我吗?
哟,送匹萨的来了.
什么?我不在的时候你们订了匹萨饼?
是啊,不过我们有想到你的,所以我们订了乔伊特餐.
双份?
是啊,好了,不多说了,回头再说.
等等,你们是从那里订的?
莫尼卡,你为什么把我带到这里来?
看了就知道了.
我跟你说了,婚礼不会再举行了.
天哪.
不错吧?你还可以想象更多的灯,怎么样?
当然,这些砖头都会搬走,还有..还有..花啊....蜡烛呀...
还有乐队,瞧,他们可以从这里走进来,不错吧?
还有,那些椅子可以都朝这边放,还有.....你来说吧.
不过,如果你不满意的话,我们可以随时随地重来过.
真的,没关系,你想怎么样都可以.
太完美了.
不过如果下雨的话,那就...
被淋湿又怎么样?
喔...我连个对象都还没有呢.
菲比?
嗯?
你还记得鸭食在哪里吗?
知道,在对面公寓的水槽下面,怎么了?
因为我要去伦敦了.
什么?你去伦敦干吗?
哦,我必须告诉罗斯我还爱他,好了,你多保重,
我回来之前不许生孩子.
什么?瑞秋,你不能去,罗斯爱上了埃米莉!
是啊,我知道,我知道,他爱她.
可是我必须得告诉他我的感受,
他得知道所有的事情然后才作决定.
那不是理由,你去伦敦是因为你希望他说
是啊,我也爱你,忘记那个英国小妞吧.
哦?你觉得他会这么说?
不! 他现在正爱着那个英国小妞呢!
听着,瑞秋,如果你去的话,你会把他
搞糊涂并且毁掉他的婚礼的!
你应该知道,太晚了,你已经错过了你的机会.
真抱歉,我知道这对你很难,一切都结束了.
不,除非他说了"我愿意",否则还没有结束.
我愿意!我愿意!我愿意!
噢,反正我也追不上你,我肚子里一大堆东西呢.
华生公馆.
哦,这是埃米莉父母的家吗?
我是这里的管家,顺便告诉你,小姐,这可不是在电话里表明身份的方式.
首先得表明自己的身份,然后再要求和想通话的人通话.
我是菲比.布费
我想..嗯..拜托...如果不麻烦的话...拜托...嗯...
我可以和埃米莉.华生小姐说话吗,拜托?
华生小姐正在参加婚礼预演晚餐,另外,开人玩笑可不礼貌,再见.
别，别，别，我会更礼貌的，我发誓！！！
拜托就把他们现在所处地方的电话号码告诉我吧。
对不起，我没有被允许透露这个信息。
听着,现在有人正要过来破坏婚礼,我必须提醒他们注意.
好吧, 如果你不给我那个号码的话,我就要自己过来
把你这个傲慢的家伙踢回新格罗肯郡的老家去.
喂,喂...噢,她知道我要踢她了.
嗨.
嗨,老爸,老妈
亲爱的.
哦,对不起我们迟到了,是我的错,我坚持要搭那个铁管子.
朱迪,孩子们都在呢.
杰克,他们这里就是这么叫地铁的.
喔,我还以为你...
老爸,老爸,我知道了,我知道了.!!
呀,我父亲和继母来了.
盖勒先生,夫人,这是史蒂夫和安德丽亚.华生夫妇.
你好,你好.
你好你好,非常高兴和你们见面.
亲爱的,这是盖勒夫妇,亲爱的,这是盖勒夫妇.
她从来都是自行其事的,早知道我就不娶她了.
什么?
盖勒夫妇在这里!
哪儿呢?
哦这是其中一个,这是另外一个.
很高兴见到你们.
你们能愿意负担婚礼的一半费用真是太好了.
哦,没关系,到那里都是这规矩,我们很高兴这么做.
我们知道举办一场婚礼有多昂贵,再说
这有可能是我们用得着的唯一一次婚礼了..
哈哈,这笑话到哪里都好使.
先生?
这里面有什么?
奶酪切丝,菱角和糖裹麦芽
那是吃的吗?拿走拿走...
怎么这里什么都不一样...我想回家.
我想我的家人,我想那间咖啡屋.
我甚至都想不起来菲比长得什么样了.
乔伊,这才三天...
你只是有点想家罢了..
Would you just try to relax.拜托只要试着放松以下,自己找乐子嘛.
你在这里也不一样了,你在英国变的苛刻了.
搞什么嘛!!!
怎么了,老爸?
婚礼一半费用的帐单,他有病吧!!
怎么要这么多? 他们家的接待员也要我们付钱?
花,饮料,一楼重新铺地毯,新的客房淋浴设施.园艺..
我付钱不是为了帮他重新装修房子的,
我得过去给这狗娘养的点颜色看看.
老爸,老爸,等等.
听着,我今晚不想让任何事情让埃米莉不开心.
好吗?她前两天够不顺心的了,
好了,给我,我去和他们谈,好吗?
你告诉他没人能从姓盖勒的人手里占到便宜!
哟,杰克...有时候我都忘了你是多有男子气概的了....
我得去喝点....
喔,....嗨!
你好呀!
你好,嗯,你们下一班去伦敦的飞机什么时候飞?
有一趟航班半小时内就可以走
哦,太好了.
而且我还剩一个位置.
哎呀,谢谢,谢谢你.
最后登机的费用是两千四百美元.
哦,我信用卡里剩下的可能不够.
那你可以用几张卡里剩下的一起算.
好吧,五张怎么样?
谢谢.
我得看看你的护照.
哦,我没带,不过我能告诉你它就在我右边的架子上,并且...,这样吧...
我有驾驶执照,而且我还有这二十块.....
听着,面对现实吧,我父亲不会为了你们的新烤肉屋
付钱的,另外,你也不用再想什么露台了..
然后也许我能付钱帮你铺新的草坪.
不过你得把草坪上的装饰品给我们.
我回国的时候带上这些东西,大家都会笑话我的.
这太荒唐了,我们是有约定的.
你就不能说两句吗,史蒂夫?快点!!!
别对我用这种腔调说话.
好吧好吧,你可以...
嗨,菲比.
哦,感谢上帝,你终于回心转意了.
哦，我说，我知道你大概想一个人静一会儿，
我也知道你现在不想谈这件事情，没关系。
我是想让你知道,你的选择是正确的,而且....
再见,菲比!
等等,你去哪儿?
你干吗? 不,等等,老天哪!!
为什么她老是在我怀孕的时候这么干?
我要为他们祝酒，罗斯和埃米莉
当然了，我正式的祝酒词会明天婚礼上才说，
所以今天的就算是小祝酒词，如果你们愿意的话，
还可以叫烤面包片
算了，我认识罗斯很长时间了，
事实上，他和他第一个女朋友约会的时候我就认识他了。
那时我还以为他们会成的呢，直到那天夸她夸过了头。
我的天哪。
Hello, Waltham Interiors.你好,华生公馆
哦,嗨,你好华生夫人.
我能不能和随便那个伴郎说话?罗斯的妹妹莫妮卡也行.
你是谁？
哦,我是菲比.布费,我是罗斯的一个好朋友.
哦? 如果你是罗斯的好朋友,你怎么没来?
哦,是这样,我不能搭乘飞机,我正怀着我弟弟的孩子呢.
哦,难道我在听广播吗?
不是不是,我能不能和他们说上两句?
这事情非常重要.
不行,我现在没兴趣和你聊,我要挂了.
哦!! 这下好了,我也得去揍她一顿了.
我想我们大家都很兴奋罗斯和埃米莉在蒙哥马利礼堂
举行他们的婚礼,想想吧,我的朋友在赛马厅里结婚.
哦,老天,赛马厅!!都没听懂吗?你们这些人!!
算了,当我没说!!祝贺你们,罗斯和埃米莉.
轮到我了,二号伴郎,乔伊.崔比亚尼.
我不象钱德那样善于说笑话.
这家伙...不过, 我只想对这对快乐的人儿说声祝福.
我在家乡的那间咖啡馆里第一次遇见罗斯.
家乡...纽约...
那里每个人都知道我的名字.
不管怎么说,我爱你们.
不过比不上我爱美国!
我们现在能回家了吗?
你要回家了吗?我还想了解你更多些呢.
我哪儿也不去,亲爱的.
我那时候笑了.
笑出声了吗?
我不想大家认为我有病.
你怎么样?
我妈快把我逼疯了,不过罗斯结婚,我就快乐.
我不想让任何事情破坏这气氛.
我只想告诉你罗斯是个很棒的小伙子.
谢谢,我们都喜欢他.
天哪,你当时怀他的时候自己肯定还是个孩子.
说什么我也不付这些钱.
我说,我们现在只有一点不统一了,
求你们了,能不能婚礼以后才说这事?
那好吧,不过我只想说,我不为你的酒窖付钱,
你这个骗钱的家伙;当年如果不是我们,
你们现在早就改说德语了...
那家伙脑子有病,行了吧?
你看起来哪儿也不象罗斯的妈妈.
那他为什么这么说?
他有病,行了吧?那家伙刚才跑过来对我说
觉得我在泰坦尼克号里面的表演棒极了.
哦,我妈是对的,我永远也不可能嫁出去.
乱说, 谁不想娶你?
算了吧,我现在是个单身母亲,儿子却有三十岁!!
嗨,我回来了,听着,我想要....
你好.
你好,我想要搭上那班11点的班机.
我想恐怕那班飞机已经滑上跑道了.
那就这样, 你去打个电话给飞机上,告诉他们回来接我.
我不能这么做.
当然可以,我们只要告诉他们飞机
引擎出了点毛病就行了.
恐怕我得正式要求你离开柜台了,小姐.
听着,如果我不马上飞去伦敦的话,
他会和另外一个女孩结婚的!!!
我能想象是为什么.
那好吧,你不把飞机叫回来我就不走了!!!
我今天结婚喽!!
早上好,罗斯.
我今儿结婚喽!!
对,没错!!
哟呵!!
你说他知道我在这里吗?
我以前倒是从来没有和你做过.
没有.
那么,嗯...你怎么样? 你还好吧?
不错,...你呢?
哦,很好很好....嗯...你呢? 我问过了.
我得起床了.
哦,那当然了.
你能不能不看?
我才不想看呢.
呃...对不起
怎么了？
如果你整个旅途都这么干的话,
早点告诉我,我好吃颗镇静剂.
或者给你也分一颗.
呃,我很抱歉,真的对不起.
我只是...呃...有点兴奋,我要去伦敦
告诉那个人我爱他..而且....
你好？
嘿，你们到底到到哪里去了？
哦，我晚上出去了，和那个可爱的伴娘在一起。
她非常...
- 我不想听这个!!
哟,菲比,其实你知道你永远是我的第一号选择.
不是的!现在有紧急情况了,听懂了吗? 瑞秋要来伦敦了.
太棒了!!
一点也不好玩!! 听着,他是来告诉罗斯她爱他的!!
But, he loves Emily?可是他不是爱埃米莉吗?
我知道!!你必须阻止她, 她会毁了婚礼的!!
好吧.
好了,那么....
等等,等等.
瑞秋...要来...
要来....干些什么....
好了,我尽了我的力了,下面是你们的责任了,
好吗? 我现在没担子了,对吗?
对,没错!
好了,说说那个女孩子吧?
嗨.
嗨.
你见到莫妮卡了吗?
我没有去见莫妮卡!!
什么?
什么?
听着,我们必须找到她,菲比刚才来电话了,
瑞秋要来告诉罗斯她还爱他!!
天哪!!
就是! 所以我们得找到莫妮卡,你知道她在哪里吗?
不知道不知道!!干吗这么严刑逼供的?
干脆你用盏灯来照我的眼睛算了?!
.....然后我意识到我做的所有这一切了...
对乔舒亚求婚, 不告诉罗斯我为什么
不参加婚礼...都只是一种表达方式....
哦,哦,哦!! 对不起,能不能打断一下?
你知道吗? 你刚才说的话..
说明你是一个太糟糕太过分的人.
呃..什么?
你说你爱这个男人, 可是现在你又要去
破坏他一生中最快乐的日子.
我想我不得不同意你的朋友"菲比",
这绝对是一个糟糕透顶的计划...
可是他总得知道我的感受吧!!
为什么要让他知道? 他爱这个
叫埃米莉的人, 你这样做一点好处都没有.
呃...我还是觉得你错了.
哦是吗..
很幸运,而且事实很清楚,当时你们的确已经分手了..
我的天哪! 这简直是个奇迹!
我知道,太糟糕了不是吗?
不过我喜欢, 我喜欢我的婚礼也有这么漂亮.
我只希望..
- 你能不能少说两句!
莫妮卡, 好了,我们得时刻提防瑞秋来..
我看着前门.
你看着房子后面那个大洞, 我叫钱德看着罗斯了.
为什么我要知道钱德在哪里?
你知道有时候我都不太喜欢钱德...
那好吧...
我愿意,我愿意,我愿意.
不错,第二次最好..
真的吗?
嗨,乔伊.
嗨,费利西蒂.
我一整天都在想着你.
哦?
再和我说说那种纽约口音吧.
算了吧...
你好吗?
没得商量,我们不为你的酒窖付钱.
你...你给我过来...
嘿!再这么逼我,我的脚就要和你的屁股碰头了!
爸!!
到底怎么了?
没什么,没什么,一切正常.
你想撕碎我吗,你是这个意思吗?
你想来一下吗?
好了!!好了!!到此为止!!长辈们,都退开!!!
行了!今天我们的婚礼!!从现在开始,
大家好好相处,如果我在听到你们多说一句话!!
别想要孙子孙女了!!没错!!
好吧,好吧..
对不起,孩子,抱歉抱歉.
我拿一个拇指就可以干掉你...
刚才这是怎么了??
没什么,有点小小的不统一...
呀,你看起来漂亮极了...
哦...哦!你在婚礼前不能看到我的,不然就有坏运气的.
我觉得我们的坏运气都已经过去了....
天,瑞秋!!
你来了,我真不能相信..
发生了什么事? 你怎么又会来了?
我只是来....
我只是觉得要告诉你...
祝贺你..
你好,华生公馆.
华生夫人,嗨,又是我菲比.
为什么?!
对是我,拜托拜托了,能不能让我和
伴郎说话? 我保证这是最后一次了...
乔伊,有个女孩打电话找你..
哦,太好了!!
喂
乔伊,是我菲比.你拦住瑞秋了吗?
没有,不过没关系,她只是来祝贺他,
拥抱了他一下,仅此而已.
那么没搅乱婚礼吧?
对,没有没有.
太好了,现在正在干吗呢?
我现在正在走过通道....还在走...
我差不多经过那个我昨天晚上约会的那个伴娘了.嗨!
刚才和她说了"嗨"
现在我在罗斯面前,是菲比.
他看起来快发火了, 我得挂了.
别!!等等,别挂电话,让我听听吧...
我们昨天晚上干的事....
蠢极了..
绝对愚蠢.
我们到底怎么想的?
我坚持了一晚上,对不对?
对,绝对的.
朋友们,亲属们,我们聚集在一起庆祝
罗斯和埃米莉令人愉快的结合.
希望今天的欢乐能够永远伴随他们.
现在,埃米莉,跟着我说. 我,埃米莉...
我埃米莉...
将把罗斯..
当成是我的合法丈夫,无论疾病灾难,直到死亡把我们分开.
现在罗斯,跟我说, 我 罗斯...
我罗斯...
将把埃米莉...
将把瑞秋...
埃米莉.
埃米莉.
呃, 我应该继续吗?
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