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【内容简介】
一个忠厚、善良、具有自我牺牲精神的年轻人梅什金公爵（即小说中的“白痴”）从国外归来，由于命运的安排被卷进生活的旋涡。他被两个同样十分美丽、非常聪明、蔑视世俗成见的将军女儿阿格拉娅和从小父母双亡被人面兽心的地主收为外室的纳斯塔西娅所爱。由此引起一连串的喜怒哀乐、悲欢离合、冲突、斗争乃至凶杀。《白痴》（1868）发展了“被侮辱与被损害的”主题，女主人公娜斯塔西亚强烈的叛逆性和作为正面人物的梅什金公爵的善良与纯洁，使小说透出光明的色调。但一些用以攻击革命者的“虚无主义者”形象，削弱了小说的揭露力量。
【作者简介】
陀思妥耶夫斯基（Ф.М.Достоевкий，1821～1881），俄国19世纪文坛上享有世界声誉的一位小说家，他的创作具有极其复杂、矛盾的性质。陀思妥耶夫斯基生于医生家庭，自幼喜爱文学。遵父愿入大学学工程，但毕业后不久即弃工从文。在法国资产阶级革命思潮影响下，他醉心于空想社会主义，参加了彼得堡进步知识分子组织的彼得拉舍夫斯基小组的革命活动。陀思妥耶夫斯基擅长心理剖析，尤其是揭示内心分裂。他对人类肉体与精神痛苦的震撼人心的描写是其他作家难以企及的。他的小说戏剧性强，情节发展快，接踵而至的灾难性事件往往伴随着复杂激烈的心理斗争和痛苦的精神危机，以此揭露资产阶级关系的纷繁复杂。矛盾重重和深刻的悲剧性。陀思妥耶夫斯基的善恶矛盾性格组合、深层心理活动描写都对后世作家产生深刻影响。
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我还以为是短篇呢，原来这么长的。

看见英文头就疼

Part 4 Chapter 12 WHEN the widow hurried away to Pavlofsk, she went straight to Daria Alexeyevna's house, and telling all she knew, threw her into a state of great alarm. Both ladies decided to communicate at once with Lebedeff, who, as the friend and landlord of the prince, was also much agitated. Vera Lebedeff told all she knew, and by Lebedeff's advice it was decided that all three should go to Petersburg as quickly as possible, in order to avert "what might so easily happen." This is how it came about that at eleven o'clock next morning Rogojin's flat was opened by the police in the presence of Lebedeff, the two ladies, and Rogojin's own brother, who lived in the wing. The evidence of the porter went further than anything else towards the success of Lebedeff in gaining the assistance of the police. He declared that he had seen Rogojin return to the house last night, accompanied by a friend, and that both had gone upstairs very secretly and cautiously. After this there was no hesitation about breaking open the door, since it could not be got open in any other way. Rogojin suffered from brain fever for two months. When he recovered from the attack he was at once brought up on trial for murder. He gave full, satisfactory, and direct evidence on every point; and the prince's name was, thanks to this, not brought into the proceedings. Rogojin was very quiet during the progress of the trial. He did not contradict his clever and eloquent counsel, who argued that the brain fever, or inflammation of the brain, was the cause of the crime; clearly proving that this malady had existed long before the murder was perpetrated, and had been brought on by the sufferings of the accused. But Rogojin added no words of his own in confirmation of this view, and as before, he recounted with marvellous exactness the details of his crime. He was convicted, but with extenuating circumstances, and condemned to hard labour in Siberia for fifteen years. He heard his sentence grimly, silently, and thoughtfully. His colossal fortune, with the exception of the comparatively small portion wasted in the first wanton period of his inheritance, went to his brother, to the great satisfaction of the latter. The old lady, Rogojin's mother, is still alive, and remembers her favourite son Parfen sometimes, but not clearly. God spared her the knowledge of this dreadful calamity which had overtaken her house. Lebedeff, Keller, Gania, Ptitsin, and many other friends of ours continue to live as before. There is scarcely any change in them, so that there is no need to tell of their subsequent doings. Hippolyte died in great agitation, and rather sooner than he expected, about a fortnight after Nastasia Phiipovna's death. Colia was much affected by these events, and drew nearer to his mother in heart and sympathy. Nina Alexandrovna is anxious, because he is "thoughtful beyond his years," but he will, we think, make a useful and active man. The prince's further fate was more or less decided by Colia, who selected, out of all the persons he had met during the last six or seven months, Evgenie Pavlovitch, as friend and confidant. To him he made over all that he knew as to the events above recorded, and as to the present condition of the prince. He was not far wrong in his choice. Evgenie Pavlovitch took the deepest interest in the fate of the unfortunate "idiot," and, thanks to his influence, the prince found himself once more with Dr. Schneider, in Switzerland. Evgenie Pavlovitch, who went abroad at this time, intending to live a long while on the continent, being, as he often said, quite superfluous in Russia, visits his sick friend at Schneider's every few months. But Dr. Schneider frowns ever more and more and shakes his head; he hints that the brain is fatally injured; he does not as yet declare that his patient is incurable, but he allows himself to express the gravest fears. Evgenie takes this much to heart, and he has a heart, as is proved by the fact that he receives and even answers letters from Colia. But besides this, another trait in his character has become apparent, and as it is a good trait we will make haste to reveal it. After each visit to Schneider's establishment, Evgenie Pavlovitch writes another letter, besides that to Colia, giving the most minute particulars concerning the invalid's condition. In these letters is to be detected, and in each one more than the last, a growing feeling of friendship and sympathy. The individual who corresponds thus with Evgenie Pavlovitch, and who engages so much of his attention and respect, is Vera Lebedeff. We have never been able to discover clearly how such relations sprang up. Of course the root of them was in the events which we have already recorded, and which so filled Vera with grief on the prince's account that she fell seriously ill. But exactly how the acquaintance and friendship came about, we cannot say. We have spoken of these letters chiefly because in them is often to be found some news of the Epanchin family, and of Aglaya in particular. Evgenie Pavlovitch wrote of her from Paris, that after a short and sudden attachment to a certain Polish count, an exile, she had suddenly married him, quite against the wishes of her parents, though they had eventually given their consent through fear of a terrible scandal. Then, after a six months' silence, Evgenie Pavlovitch informed his correspondent, in a long letter, full of detail, that while paying his last visit to Dr. Schneider's establishment, he had there come across the whole Epanchin family (excepting the general, who had remained in St. Petersburg) and Prince S. The meeting was a strange one. They all received Evgenie Pavlovitch with effusive delight; Adelaida and Alexandra were deeply grateful to him for his "angelic kindness to the unhappy prince." Lizabetha Prokofievna, when she saw poor Muishkin, in his enfeebled and humiliated condition, had wept bitterly. Apparently all was forgiven him. Prince S. had made a few just and sensible remarks. It seemed to Evgenie Pavlovitch that there was not yet perfect harmony between Adelaida and her fiance, but he thought that in time the impulsive young girl would let herself be guided by his reason and experience. Besides, the recent events that had befallen her family had given Adelaida much to think about, especially the sad experiences of her younger sister. Within six months, everything that the family had dreaded from the marriage with the Polish count had come to pass. He turned out to be neither count nor exile--at least, in the political sense of the word--but had had to leave his native land owing to some rather dubious affair of the past. It was his noble patriotism, of which he made a great display, that had rendered him so interesting in Aglaya's eyes. She was so fascinated that, even before marrying him, she joined a committee that had been organized abroad to work for the restoration of Poland; and further, she visited the confessional of a celebrated Jesuit priest, who made an absolute fanatic of her. The supposed fortune of the count had dwindled to a mere nothing, although he had given almost irrefutable evidence of its existence to Lizabetha Prokofievna and Prince S. Besides this, before they had been married half a year, the count and his friend the priest managed to bring about a quarrel between Aglaya and her family, so that it was now several months since they had seen her. In a word, there was a great deal to say; but Mrs. Epanchin, and her daughters, and even Prince S., were still so much distressed by Aglaya's latest infatuations and adventures, that they did hot care to talk of them, though they must have known that Evgenie knew much of the story already. Poor Lizabetha Prokofievna was most anxious to get home, and, according to Evgenie's account, she criticized everything foreign with much hostility. "They can't bake bread anywhere, decently; and they all freeze in their houses, during winter, like a lot of mice in a cellar. At all events, I've had a good Russian cry over this poor fellow," she added, pointing to the prince, who had not recognized her in the slightest degree. "So enough of this nonsense; it's time we faced the truth. All this continental life, all this Europe of yours, and all the trash about 'going abroad' is simply foolery, and it is mere foolery on our part to come. Remember what I say, my friend; you'll live to agree with me yourself." So spoke the good lady, almost angrily, as she took leave of Evgenie Pavlovitch. 教师妻子坐车赶到帕夫洛夫斯克，直接去找昨天起就心绪不宁的达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜，并对她讲述了她所知道的一切，这可完全把她吓坏了。两位女士立即决定与列别杰夫取得联系，他作为房东和房客的朋友也处在非常不安的状态中。维拉·列别杰娃告诉了她所知道的一切情况。根据列别杰夫的建议，他们三人决定去彼得堡，以尽快防止“非常可能发生”的事。这样，已经是第二天上午１１点左右，罗戈任的住宅被打开了，在场的有警方、列别杰夫、两位女士、住在侧屋的罗戈任的兄长谢苗·谢苗诺维奇·罗戈任。最有助于案件进展的是管院子人的证词，昨天晚上他看见帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇跟一位客人从台阶上进去，而且仿佛偷偷摸摸地。有了这个语词已经不存疑问，警方破开了对法律也不开的门。 罗戈任挺过了两个月的脑炎，等他病愈后便接受了侦讯和审判，他对一切都供认不讳，做了确凿和完全肯定的证词，因而从一开始公爵就被免了诉讼。在审理过程中罗戈任一直保持沉默。他没有与自己精明的、能言善辩的律师产生矛盾，律师明确而又富有逻辑地证明，所犯的罪行是脑炎的结果，而被告由于忧伤在犯罪前很久就已开始患病，但是罗戈任自己并没有补充什么来证实之一点，他仍照先前一样明白确凿地肯定和回忆了事件发生的全部细微的情节。考虑到可以从轻判刑的情况，他被判流放西伯利亚服苦役１５年。他神色严峻、一声不吭、“若有所思”地听完了判决。他的全部巨大的财产，除了相对来说是很小部分被他早期纵酒狂饮耗费掉之外，转到了他兄长谢苗·谢苗诺维奇手中，令其大为满意。罗戈任娜老太仍然活在世上，有时似乎回忆起心爱的儿子帕尔芬，但是不太清楚：上帝拯救了她，使她的神智和心灵已意识不到降临到她这个阴郁的家的可怕灾祸。 列别杰夫、凯勒尔、加尼亚、普季岑和本故事其他许多人物像过去那样生活着，很少有变化，关于他们，我几乎没有要转告的。伊波利特在异常激动中比预料的要早去世，是在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜死后两个星期。科利来对发生的事件深为惊讶，他完全跟自己的母亲亲近了。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜则为他担心，因为他太多沉思，跟他的年龄不相称；也许，他能成为一个好人。顺便说一下，部分地是由于他的努力，公爵后来的命运有了安排：在近来他认识的所有人中间，他早就看出叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇·拉多姆斯基与众不同；他首先去找他，并把他所知道的所发生事件的全部详情告诉了他，也讲了公爵目前的状况。他没有错：叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇最热心地干预了不幸的“白痴”的命运，由于他的努力和操心，公爵重又到了国外施奈德的治疗中心。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇本人也到了国外，打算在欧洲生活很长一段时间，并公然称自己“在俄罗斯完全是个多余人”，他相当经常去看望在施奈德那里治疗的患病的朋友，至少几个月就去一次；但施奈德却越来越紧锁眉头和摇头；他暗示公爵的大脑器官完全受到了损害，他还没有肯定说治不好，但是不隐讳做最悲观的暗示。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇将此事很放在心上，他是个有心人，这样一个事实可以证明：他经常收到科利亚的来信，有时甚至还回来。除此以外，他还有一个奇怪的性格特征也为人所知；因为这是个好的性格特征，所以我急于要说出来。每次拜访过施奈德以后，除了给科利亚写信，他还给彼得堡的一个人寄信，最详尽和深表同情地叙述目前公爵的病况。除恭敬地表示忠诚外，在这些信中有时（而且愈来愈经常）开始出现一些坦率地陈述看法、概念、感情的文字——总之，开始表现出某种类似友好和亲近的感情。与叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇通信（虽然相当少）并赢得他如此关切和尊敬的人便是维拉·列别杰娃。我无论怎样也无法确切知道，这样的关系是以何种方式建立起来的；当然是因为公爵的整个事件引起的，当时维拉·列别杰娃被痛苦压倒了，甚至生起病来，但是他们相识并成为朋友的详情，我不知道，我之所以提到这些信，最主要的目的是，其中有些信包含了叶潘钦一家，特别关键是阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜·叶潘钦娜的消息。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇在寄自巴黎的一封写得很不连贯的信里告知说，她对一位侨民、波兰的伯爵异常眷恋，经过短时间的交往以后便嫁给了他，此事违反其父母的意愿，但是最后他们还是同意了，因为不这样的话事情会有酿成非同一般的丑闻的危险。后来，几乎沉默半年之后，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇又在一封冗长和详尽的来信中告诉自己的女通信人，在最近一次去瑞士施奈德教授那儿时，在他那儿遇见了叶潘钦一家人（当然，除了伊万·费奥多罗维奇，他因有事留在彼得堡）和ω公爵。这次会面很奇怪；他们见到叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇不知怎么地很是欢喜；阿杰莱达和亚历山德拉不知为什么甚至认为要感谢他“对不幸的公爵给予了天使般的关怀”。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲那夫娜看到公爵病成那副屈辱相，发自内心地哭了起来。看来，已经宽恕了他的一切。ω公爵在这时说了几句很好很聪明的真话。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇觉得，他和阿杰莱达彼此还没有完全情投意台，但是在未来性格热烈的阿杰莱达完全自愿和心悦诚服地服从ω公爵的智慧和经验是不可避免的。加上家里经受的教训，主要是最近阿格拉娅与侨民伯爵的事，对她有着极大的影响。家里做出让步，答应阿格拉娅嫁给侨民伯爵，与此同时始终惴惴不安；她们所担扰的一切在半年里便变成了事实，还加上了许多甚至完全没有想到过的意外情况。原来这个伯爵根本不是伯爵，如果说是侨民倒确实不假，但是有令人怀疑、不清不白的经历。他为国忧伤心碎这种不同凡响的高尚精神使她倾心，而且迷恋到这个地步：在还没有嫁给他之前，她就成了国外某个复兴波兰委员会的成员，除此之外，她还进了天主教堂某个著名神父的忏悔室，这位神父的见解使她如痴如狂。伯爵曾向叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜和ω公爵提供确凿证据表明拥有巨额财产，原来完全是不存在的。不仅如此，在婚后半年光景，伯爵和他的朋友、著名的忏悔神父已使阿格拉娅与家里完全吵翻了，因此他们已经好几个月没有见到她了……总之，要讲的事有许多，但是叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜，她的女儿，甚至ω公爵已为所有这些“恐怖的消息”弄得惊恐不已，以致在与叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇的谈话中甚至怕提到别的事情，虽然他们知道，即使他们不讲，他对于阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜最近醉心热衷的事也知道得一清二楚。可怜的叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜想回俄国去，据叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇证明，她在他面前剧烈而辛辣地把外国的一切批评了一通：“哪儿也烤不出好面包，冬天人们像地窖里的老鼠一般挨冻，”她说， “至少在这里算是照俄罗斯方式对这个可怜的女人哭了一场，”她激动地指着完全不认识她的公爵补了一句。“激动得够了，该是用理智的时候了。所有这一切，整个这外国，你们的整个这欧洲－－这一切都只是虚幻一场，我们大家在国外也是虚幻一场……记住我的话，您自己也会明白的！”她几乎气愤地结束说，便与叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇分别了。 The End

Part 4 Chapter 11 AN hour later he was in St. Petersburg, and by ten o'clock he had rung the bell at Rogojin's. He had gone to the front door, and was kept waiting a long while before anyone came. At last the door of old Mrs. Rogojin's flat was opened, and an aged servant appeared. "Parfen Semionovitch is not at home," she announced from the doorway. "Whom do you want?" "Parfen Semionovitch." "He is not in." The old woman examined the prince from head to foot with great curiosity. "At all events tell me whether he slept at home last night, and whether he came alone?" The old woman continued to stare at him, but said nothing. "Was not Nastasia Philipovna here with him, yesterday evening?" "And, pray, who are you yourself?" "Prince Lef Nicolaievitch Muishkin; he knows me well." "He is not at home." The woman lowered her eyes. "And Nastasia Philipovna?" "I know nothing about it." "Stop a minute! When will he come back?" "I don't know that either." The door was shut with these words, and the old woman disappeared. The prince decided to come back within an hour. Passing out of the house, he met the porter. "Is Parfen Semionovitch at home?" he asked. "Yes." "Why did they tell me he was not at home, then?" "Where did they tell you so,--at his door?" "No, at his mother's flat; I rang at Parfen Semionovitch's door and nobody came." "Well, he may have gone out. I can't tell. Sometimes he takes the keys with him, and leaves the rooms empty for two or three days." "Do you know for certain that he was at home last night?" "Yes, he was." "Was Nastasia Philipovna with him?" "I don't know; she doesn't come often. I think I should have known if she had come." The prince went out deep in thought, and walked up and down the pavement for some time. The windows of all the rooms occupied by Rogojin were closed, those of his mother's apartments were open. It was a hot, bright day. The prince crossed the road in order to have a good look at the windows again; not only were Rogojin's closed, but the white blinds were all down as well. He stood there for a minute and then, suddenly and strangely enough, it seemed to him that a little corner of one of the blinds was lifted, and Rogojin's face appeared for an instant and then vanished. He waited another minute, and decided to go and ring the bell once more; however, he thought better of it again and put it off for an hour. The chief object in his mind at this moment was to get as quickly as he could to Nastasia Philipovna's lodging. He remembered that, not long since, when she had left Pavlofsk at his request, he had begged her to put up in town at the house of a respectable widow, who had well-furnished rooms to let, near the Ismailofsky barracks. Probably Nastasia had kept the rooms when she came down to Pavlofsk this last time; and most likely she would have spent the night in them, Rogojin having taken her straight there from the station. The prince took a droshky. It struck him as he drove on that he ought to have begun by coming here, since it was most improbable that Rogojin should have taken Nastasia to his own house last night. He remembered that the porter said she very rarely came at all, so that it was still less likely that she would have gone there so late at night. Vainly trying to comfort himself with these reflections, the prince reached the Ismailofsky barracks more dead than alive. To his consternation the good people at the lodgings had not only heard nothing of Nastasia, but all came out to look at him as if he were a marvel of some sort. The whole family, of all ages, surrounded him, and he was begged to enter. He guessed at once that they knew perfectly well who he was, and that yesterday ought to have been his wedding-day; and further that they were dying to ask about the wedding, and especially about why he should be here now, inquiring for the woman who in all reasonable human probability might have been expected to be with him in Pavlofsk. He satisfied their curiosity, in as few words as possible, with regard to the wedding, but their exclamations and sighs were so numerous and sincere that he was obliged to tell the whole story-- in a short form, of course. The advice of all these agitated ladies was that the prince should go at once and knock at Rogojin's until he was let in: and when let in insist upon a substantial explanation of everything. If Rogojin was really not at home, the prince was advised to go to a certain house, the address of which was given, where lived a German lady, a friend of Nastasia Philipovna's. It was possible that she might have spent the night there in her anxiety to conceal herself. The prince rose from his seat in a condition of mental collapse. The good ladies reported afterwards that "his pallor was terrible to see, and his legs seemed to give way underneath him." With difficulty he was made to understand that his new friends would be glad of his address, in order to act with him if possible. After a moment's thought he gave the address of the small hotel, on the stairs of which he had had a fit some five weeks since. He then set off once more for Rogojin's. This time they neither opened the door at Rogojin's flat nor at the one opposite. The prince found the porter with difficulty, but when found, the man would hardly look at him or answer his questions, pretending to be busy. Eventually, however, he was persuaded to reply so far as to state that Rogojin had left the house early in the morning and gone to Pavlofsk, and that he would not return today at all. "I shall wait; he may come back this evening." "He may not be home for a week." "Then, at all events, he DID sleep here, did he?" "Well--he did sleep here, yes." All this was suspicious and unsatisfactory. Very likely the porter had received new instructions during the interval of the prince's absence; his manner was so different now. He had been obliging--now he was as obstinate and silent as a mule. However, the prince decided to call again in a couple of hours, and after that to watch the house, in case of need. His hope was that he might yet find Nastasia at the address which he had just received. To that address he now set off at full speed. But alas! at the German lady's house they did not even appear to understand what he wanted. After a while, by means of certain hints, he was able to gather that Nastasia must have had a quarrel with her friend two or three weeks ago, since which date the latter had neither heard nor seen anything of her. He was given to understand that the subject of Nastasia's present whereabouts was not of the slightest interest to her; and that Nastasia might marry all the princes in the world for all she cared! So Muishkin took his leave hurriedly. It struck him now that she might have gone away to Moscow just as she had done the last time, and that Rogojin had perhaps gone after her, or even WITH her. If only he could find some trace! However, he must take his room at the hotel; and he started off in that direction. Having engaged his room, he was asked by the waiter whether he would take dinner; replying mechanically in the affirmative, he sat down and waited; but it was not long before it struck him that dining would delay him. Enraged at this idea, he started up, crossed the dark passage (which filled him with horrible impressions and gloomy forebodings), and set out once more for Rogojin's. Rogojin had not returned, and no one came to the door. He rang at the old lady's door opposite, and was informed that Parfen Semionovitch would not return for three days. The curiosity with which the old servant stared at him again impressed the prince disagreeably. He could not find the porter this time at all. As before, he crossed the street and watched the windows from the other side, walking up and down in anguish of soul for half an hour or so in the stifling heat. Nothing stirred; the blinds were motionless; indeed, the prince began to think that the apparition of Rogojin's face could have been nothing but fancy. Soothed by this thought, he drove off once more to his friends at the Ismailofsky barracks. He was expected there. The mother had already been to three or four places to look for Nastasia, but had not found a trace of any kind. The prince said nothing, but entered the room, sat down silently, and stared at them, one after the other, with the air of a man who cannot understand what is being said to him. It was strange-- one moment he seemed to be so observant, the next so absent; his behaviour struck all the family as most remarkable. At length he rose from his seat, and begged to be shown Nastasia's rooms. The ladies reported afterwards how he had examined everything in the apartments. He observed an open book on the table, Madam Bovary, and requested the leave of the lady of the house to take it with him. He had turned down the leaf at the open page, and pocketed it before they could explain that it was a library book. He had then seated himself by the open window, and seeing a card-table, he asked who played cards. He was informed that Nastasia used to play with Rogojin every evening, either at "preference" or "little fool," or "whist"; that this had been their practice since her last return from Pavlofsk; that she had taken to this amusement because she did not like to see Rogojin sitting silent and dull for whole evenings at a time; that the day after Nastasia had made a remark to this effect, Rogojin had whipped a pack of cards out of his pocket. Nastasia had laughed, but soon they began playing. The prince asked where were the cards, but was told that Rogojin used to bring a new pack every day, and always carried it away in his pocket. The good ladies recommended the prince to try knocking at Rogojin's once more--not at once, but in the evening Meanwhile, the mother would go to Pavlofsk to inquire at Dana Alexeyevna's whether anything had been heard of Nastasia there. The prince was to come back at ten o'clock and meet her, to hear her news and arrange plans for the morrow. In spite of the kindly-meant consolations of his new friends, the prince walked to his hotel in inexpressible anguish of spirit, through the hot, dusty streets, aimlessly staring at the faces of those who passed him. Arrived at his destination, he determined to rest awhile in his room before be started for Rogojin's once more. He sat down, rested his elbows on the table and his head on his hands, and fell to thinking. Heaven knows how long and upon what subjects he thought. He thought of many things--of Vera Lebedeff, and of her father; of Hippolyte; of Rogojin himself, first at the funeral, then as he had met him in the park, then, suddenly, as they had met in this very passage, outside, when Rogojin had watched in the darkness and awaited him with uplifted knife. The prince remembered his enemy's eyes as they had glared at him in the darkness. He shuddered, as a sudden idea struck him. This idea was, that if Rogojin were in Petersburg, though he might hide for a time, yet he was quite sure to come to him--the prince--before long, with either good or evil intentions, but probably with the same intention as on that other occasion. At all events, if Rogojin were to come at all he would be sure to seek the prince here--he had no other town address--perhaps in this same corridor; he might well seek him here if he needed him. And perhaps he did need him. This idea seemed quite natural to the prince, though he could not have explained why he should so suddenly have become necessary to Rogojin. Rogojin would not come if all were well with him, that was part of the thought; he would come if all were not well; and certainly, undoubtedly, all would not be well with him. The prince could not bear this new idea; he took his hat and rushed out towards the street. It was almost dark in the passage. "What if he were to come out of that corner as I go by and--and stop me?" thought the prince, as he approached the familiar spot. But no one came out. He passed under the gateway and into the street. The crowds of people walking about--as is always the case at sunset in Petersburg, during the summer--surprised him, but he walked on in the direction of Rogojin's house. About fifty yards from the hotel, at the first cross-road, as he passed through the crowd of foot-passengers sauntering along, someone touched his shoulder, and said in a whisper into his ear: "Lef Nicolaievitch, my friend, come along with me." It was Rogojin. The prince immediately began to tell him, eagerly and joyfully, how he had but the moment before expected to see him in the dark passage of the hotel. "I was there," said Rogojin, unexpectedly. "Come along." The prince was surprised at this answer; but his astonishment increased a couple of minutes afterwards, when he began to consider it. Having thought it over, he glanced at Rogojin in alarm. The latter was striding along a yard or so ahead, looking straight in front of him, and mechanically making way for anyone he met. "Why did you not ask for me at my room if you were in the hotel?" asked the prince, suddenly. Rogojin stopped and looked at him; then reflected, and replied as though he had not heard the question: "Look here, Lef Nicolaievitch, you go straight on to the house; I shall walk on the other side. See that we keep together." So saying, Rogojin crossed the road. Arrived on the opposite pavement, he looked back to see whether the prince were moving, waved his hand in the direction of the Gorohovaya, and strode on, looking across every moment to see whether Muishkin understood his instructions. The prince supposed that Rogojin desired to look out for someone whom he was afraid to miss; but if so, why had he not told HIM whom to look out for? So the two proceeded for half a mile or so. Suddenly the prince began to tremble from some unknown cause. He could not bear it, and signalled to Rogojin across the road. The latter came at once. "Is Nastasia Philipovna at your house?" "Yes." "And was it you looked out of the window under the blind this morning?" "Yes." "Then why did--" But the prince could not finish his question; he did not know what to say. Besides this, his heart was beating so that he found it difficult to speak at all. Rogojin was silent also and looked at him as before, with an expression of deep thoughtfulness. "Well, I'm going," he said, at last, preparing to recross the road. "You go along here as before; we will keep to different sides of the road; it's better so, you'll see." When they reached the Gorohovaya, and came near the house, the prince's legs were trembling so that he could hardly walk. It was about ten o'clock. The old lady's windows were open, as before; Rogojin's were all shut, and in the darkness the white blinds showed whiter than ever. Rogojin and the prince each approached the house on his respective side of the road; Rogojin, who was on the near side, beckoned the prince across. He went over to the doorway. "Even the porter does not know that I have come home now. I told him, and told them at my mother's too, that I was off to Pavlofsk," said Rogojin, with a cunning and almost satisfied smile. "We'll go in quietly and nobody will hear us." He had the key in his hand. Mounting the staircase he turned and signalled to the prince to go more softly; he opened the door very quietly, let the prince in, followed him, locked the door behind him, and put the key in his pocket. "Come along," he whispered. He had spoken in a whisper all the way. In spite of his apparent outward composure, he was evidently in a state of great mental agitation. Arrived in a large salon, next to the study, he went to the window and cautiously beckoned the prince up to him. "When you rang the bell this morning I thought it must be you. I went to the door on tip-toe and heard you talking to the servant opposite. I had told her before that if anyone came and rang-- especially you, and I gave her your name--she was not to tell about me. Then I thought, what if he goes and stands opposite and looks up, or waits about to watch the house? So I came to this very window, looked out, and there you were staring straight at me. That's how it came about." "Where is Nastasia Philipovna?" asked the prince, breathlessly. "She's here," replied Rogojin, slowly, after a slight pause. "Where?" Rogojin raised his eyes and gazed intently at the prince. "Come," he said. He continued to speak in a whisper, very deliberately as before, and looked strangely thoughtful and dreamy. Even while he told the story of how he had peeped through the blind, he gave the impression of wishing to say something else. They entered the study. In this room some changes had taken place since the prince last saw it. It was now divided into two equal parts by a heavy green silk curtain stretched across it, separating the alcove beyond, where stood Rogojin's bed, from the rest of the room. The heavy curtain was drawn now, and it was very dark. The bright Petersburg summer nights were already beginning to close in, and but for the full moon, it would have been difficult to distinguish anything in Rogojin's dismal room, with the drawn blinds. They could just see one anothers faces, however, though not in detail. Rogojin's face was white, as usual. His glittering eyes watched the prince with an intent stare. "Had you not better light a candle?" said Muishkin. "No, I needn't," replied Rogojin, and taking the other by the hand he drew him down to a chair. He himself took a chair opposite and drew it up so close that he almost pressed against the prince's knees. At their side was a little round table. Sit down," said Rogojin; "let's rest a bit." There was silence for a moment. "I knew you would be at that hotel," he continued, just as men sometimes commence a serious conversation by discussing any outside subject before leading up to the main point. "As I entered the passage it struck me that perhaps you were sitting and waiting for me, just as I was waiting for you. Have you been to the old lady at Ismailofsky barracks?" "Yes," said the prince, squeezing the word out with difficulty owing to the dreadful beating of his heart. "I thought you would. 'They'll talk about it,' I thought; so I determined to go and fetch you to spend the night here--'We will be together,' I thought, 'for this one night--'" "Rogojin, WHERE is Nastasia Philipovna?" said the prince, suddenly rising from his seat. He was quaking in all his limbs, and his words came in a scarcely audible whisper. Rogojin rose also. "There," he whispered, nodding his head towards the curtain. "Asleep?" whispered the prince. Rogojin looked intently at him again, as before. "Let's go in--but you mustn't--well--let's go in." He lifted the curtain, paused--and turned to the prince. "Go in," he said, motioning him to pass behind the curtain. Muishkin went in. It's so dark," he said. "You can see quite enough," muttered Rogojin. "I can just see there's a bed--" "Go nearer," suggested Rogojin, softly. The prince took a step forward--then another--and paused. He stood and stared for a minute or two. Neither of the men spoke a word while at the bedside. The prince's heart beat so loud that its knocking seemed to be distinctly audible in the deathly silence. But now his eyes had become so far accustomed to the darkness that he could distinguish the whole of the bed. Someone was asleep upon it--in an absolutely motionless sleep. Not the slightest movement was perceptible, not the faintest breathing could be heard. The sleeper was covered with a white sheet; the outline of the limbs was hardly distinguishable. He could only just make out that a human being lay outstretched there. All around, on the bed, on a chair beside it, on the floor, were scattered the different portions of a magnificent white silk dress, bits of lace, ribbons and flowers. On a small table at the bedside glittered a mass of diamonds, torn off and thrown down anyhow. From under a heap of lace at the end of the bed peeped a small white foot, which looked as though it had been chiselled out of marble; it was terribly still. The prince gazed and gazed, and felt that the more he gazed the more death-like became the silence. Suddenly a fly awoke somewhere, buzzed across the room, and settled on the pillow. The prince shuddered. "Let's go," said Rogojin, touching his shoulder. They left the alcove and sat down in the two chairs they had occupied before, opposite to one another. The prince trembled more and more violently, and never took his questioning eyes off Rogojin's face. "I see you are shuddering, Lef Nicolaievitch," said the latter, at length, "almost as you did once in Moscow, before your fit; don't you remember? I don't know what I shall do with you--" The prince bent forward to listen, putting all the strain he could muster upon his understanding in order to take in what Rogojin said, and continuing to gaze at the latter's face. "Was it you?" he muttered, at last, motioning with his head towards the curtain. "Yes, it was I," whispered Rogojin, looking down. Neither spoke for five minutes. "Because, you know," Rogojin recommenced, as though continuing a former sentence, "if you were ill now, or had a fit, or screamed, or anything, they might hear it in the yard, or even in the street, and guess that someone was passing the night in the house. They would all come and knock and want to come in, because they know I am not at home. I didn't light a candle for the same reason. When I am not here--for two or three days at a time, now and then--no one comes in to tidy the house or anything; those are my orders. So that I want them to not know we are spending the night here--" "Wait," interrupted the prince. "I asked both the porter and the woman whether Nastasia Philipovna had spent last night in the house; so they knew--" "I know you asked. I told them that she had called in for ten minutes, and then gone straight back to Pavlofsk. No one knows she slept here. Last night we came in just as carefully as you and I did today. I thought as I came along with her that she would not like to creep in so secretly, but I was quite wrong. She whispered, and walked on tip-toe; she carried her skirt over her arm, so that it shouldn't rustle, and she held up her finger at me on the stairs, so that I shouldn't make a noise--it was you she was afraid of. She was mad with terror in the train, and she begged me to bring her to this house. I thought of taking her to her rooms at the Ismailofsky barracks first; but she wouldn't hear of it. She said, 'No--not there; he'll find me out at once there. Take me to your own house, where you can hide me, and tomorrow we'll set off for Moscow.' Thence she would go to Orel, she said. When she went to bed, she was still talking about going to Orel." "Wait! What do you intend to do now, Parfen?" "Well, I'm afraid of you. You shudder and tremble so. We'll pass the night here together. There are no other beds besides that one; but I've thought how we'll manage. I'll take the cushions off all the sofas, and lay them down on the floor, up against the curtain here--for you and me--so that we shall be together. For if they come in and look about now, you know, they'll find her, and carry her away, and they'll be asking me questions, and I shall say I did it, and then they'll take me away, too, don't you see? So let her lie close to us--close to you and me. "Yes, yes," agreed the prince, warmly. "So we will not say anything about it, or let them take her away?" "Not for anything!" cried the other; "no, no, no!" "So I had decided, my friend; not to give her up to anyone," continued Rogojin. "We'll be very quiet. I have only been out of the house one hour all day, all the rest of the time I have been with her. I dare say the air is very bad here. It is so hot. Do you find it bad?" "I don't know--perhaps--by morning it will be." "I've covered her with oil-cloth--best American oilcloth, and put the sheet over that, and four jars of disinfectant, on account of the smell--as they did at Moscow--you remember? And she's lying so still; you shall see, in the morning, when it's light. What! can't you get up?" asked Rogojin, seeing the other was trembling so that he could not rise from his seat. "My legs won't move," said the prince; "it's fear, I know. When my fear is over, I'll get up--" "Wait a bit--I'll make the bed, and you can lie down. I'll lie down, too, and we'll listen and watch, for I don't know yet what I shall do... I tell you beforehand, so that you may be ready in case I--" Muttering these disconnected words, Rogojin began to make up the beds. It was clear that he had devised these beds long before; last night he slept on the sofa. But there was no room for two on the sofa, and he seemed anxious that he and the prince should be close to one another; therefore, he now dragged cushions of all sizes and shapes from the sofas, and made a sort of bed of them close by the curtain. He then approached the prince, and gently helped him to rise, and led him towards the bed. But the prince could now walk by himself, so that his fear must have passed; for all that, however, he continued to shudder. "It's hot weather, you see," continued Rogojin, as he lay down on the cushions beside Muishkin, "and, naturally, there will be a smell. I daren't open the window. My mother has some beautiful flowers in pots; they have a delicious scent; I thought of fetching them in, but that old servant will find out, she's very inquisitive. "Yes, she is inquisitive," assented the prince. "I thought of buying flowers, and putting them all round her; but I was afraid it would make us sad to see her with flowers round her." "Look here," said the prince; he was bewildered, and his brain wandered. He seemed to be continually groping for the questions he wished to ask, and then losing them. "Listen--tell me--how did you--with a knife?--That same one?" "Yes, that same one." "Wait a minute, I want to ask you something else, Parfen; all sorts of things; but tell me first, did you intend to kill her before my wedding, at the church door, with your knife?" "I don't know whether I did or not," said Rogojin, drily, seeming to be a little astonished at the question, and not quite taking it in. "Did you never take your knife to Pavlofsk with you?" "No. As to the knife," he added, "this is all I can tell you about it." He was silent for a moment, and then said, "I took it out of the locked drawer this morning about three, for it was in the early morning all this--happened. It has been inside the book ever since--and--and--this is what is such a marvel to me, the knife only went in a couple of inches at most, just under her left breast, and there wasn't more than half a tablespoonful of blood altogether, not more." "Yes--yes--yes--" The prince jumped up in extraordinary agitation. "I know, I know, I've read of that sort of thing--it's internal haemorrhage, you know. Sometimes there isn't a drop--if the blow goes straight to the heart--" "Wait--listen!" cried Rogojin, suddenly, starting up. "Somebody's walking about, do you hear? In the hall." Both sat up to listen. "I hear," said the prince in a whisper, his eyes fixed on Rogojin. "Footsteps?" "Yes." "Shall we shut the door, and lock it, or not?" "Yes, lock it." They locked the door, and both lay down again. There was a long silence. "Yes, by-the-by," whispered the prince, hurriedly and excitedly as before, as though he had just seized hold of an idea and was afraid of losing it again. "I--I wanted those cards! They say you played cards with her?" "Yes, I played with her," said Rogojin, after a short silence. "Where are the cards?" "Here they are," said Rogojin, after a still longer pause. He pulled out a pack of cards, wrapped in a bit of paper, from his pocket, and handed them to the prince. The latter took them, with a sort of perplexity. A new, sad, helpless feeling weighed on his heart; he had suddenly realized that not only at this moment, but for a long while, he had not been saying what he wanted to say, had not been acting as he wanted to act; and that these cards which he held in his hand, and which he had been so delighted to have at first, were now of no use--no use... He rose, and wrung his hands. Rogojin lay motionless, and seemed neither to hear nor see his movements; but his eyes blazed in the darkness, and were fixed in a wild stare. The prince sat down on a chair, and watched him in alarm. Half an hour went by. Suddenly Rogojin burst into a loud abrupt laugh, as though he had quite forgotten that they must speak in whispers. "That officer, eh!--that young officer--don't you remember that fellow at the band? Eh? Ha, ha, ha! Didn't she whip him smartly, eh?" The prince jumped up from his seat in renewed terror. When Rogojin quieted down (which he did at once) the prince bent over him, sat down beside him, and with painfully beating heart and still more painful breath, watched his face intently. Rogojin never turned his head, and seemed to have forgotten all about him. The prince watched and waited. Time went on--it began to grow light. Rogojin began to wander--muttering disconnectedly; then he took to shouting and laughing. The prince stretched out a trembling hand and gently stroked his hair and his cheeks--he could do nothing more. His legs trembled again and he seemed to have lost the use of them. A new sensation came over him, filling his heart and soul with infinite anguish. Meanwhile the daylight grew full and strong; and at last the prince lay down, as though overcome by despair, and laid his face against the white, motionless face of Rogojin. His tears flowed on to Rogojin's cheek, though he was perhaps not aware of them himself. At all events when, after many hours, the door was opened and people thronged in, they found the murderer unconscious and in a raging fever. The prince was sitting by him, motionless, and each time that the sick man gave a laugh, or a shout, he hastened to pass his own trembling hand over his companion's hair and cheeks, as though trying to soothe and quiet him. But alas I he understood nothing of what was said to him, and recognized none of those who surrounded him. If Schneider himself had arrived then and seen his former pupil and patient, remembering the prince's condition during the first year in Switzerland, he would have flung up his hands, despairingly, and cried, as he did then: "An idiot!" 过了１小时他已经在彼得堡，９点钟时则已按罗戈任的门铃了。他是从正门进去的，好久都没有给他开里面的门。最后，罗戈任娜老太婆房间的门开了，出现一个仪表端庄的老女仆。 “帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇不在家，”她从问里边说，“您找谁？” “帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇。” “他不在家。” 女仆用一种怪异的好奇目光打量公爵。 “至少请告诉我，他是否在家里过夜？还有……昨天他是不是一个人回来的？” 女仆继续望着他，但不做回答。 “昨天晚上……纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜没有跟他一起……在这里？” “请间，你是什么人？” “列夫·尼古接耶维奇·梅什金公爵，我们非常熟悉。” “他不在家。” 女仆垂下了眼睛。 “那么纳斯塔西娅。费利帕夫娜呢？” “这我一点也不知道。” “请等一下，等一下！他什么时候回来？” “这也不知道。” 关门上了。 公爵决定过１小时再来，他朝院子看了一眼，他遇见了管院子人。 “帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇在家吗？” “在家。” “那刚才怎么对我说不在家？” “他家里人说的？” “不，是他母亲的女仆说的，而我按帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇的门铃，没有人来开门。” “也许出去了，”管院子人说，“他可是不告诉的。有时连钥匙也随身带走，房间常常一锁就是三天。” “您肯定知道昨天他在家吗？” “在家。有时他从正门走，那就看不到了。” “那么昨天纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜跟他在一起吗？” “这可不知道。她不常来，要是她来，好象我是会知道的。” 公爵走了出来，在人行道上沉思徘徊了一阵。罗戈任住的几间房间的窗户全部关着，他母亲占着的那一半房间的窗户全都开着。天气晴朗、炎热。公爵穿过街来到对面人行道上，停下来又朝窗户瞥了一眼：它们不仅仅全都关着，而且几乎到处都放下了白色的窗幔。 他站了有１分钟左右，奇怪的是，突然他觉得，有一个窗幔的边撩开了一点，闪过罗戈任的脸，闪了一下，一瞬而逝。他又等了一会，本已决定再去按门铃，但改变了主意，决定推迟１小时：“谁知道，也许只是幻觉……” 主要的是，他现在急着要去伊斯梅洛夫团，即纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜不久前往过的宅寓。他知道，三星期前按他的请求她从帕夫洛夫斯克搬走，住到伊斯梅洛夫团一位过去要好的熟人、寡居的教师妻子、有家的受人尊敬的女士那里，她几乎靠出租一套有上好家具的房间为生。最大的可能是，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜又搬到帕夫洛夫斯克去住时，留下了这套住宅；至少相当可能在这住宅里过夜，当然，是罗戈任昨天把她送往那里的。公爵雇了马车。途中他忽然想到，应该先从这里开始找起，因为夜里她不可能径直上罗戈任那儿去。这时他又想起管院子人的话，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜不常去。既然本来就不常去，现在又凭什么在罗戈任那里留宿呢？公爵因这些想法而有所宽慰，使自己打起精神来，最后，半死不活地来到了伊斯梅洛夫团。 完全使他吃惊的是，教师妻子这里无论是昨天还是今天都没有听说过纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的事，不仅如此，她家里的人跑出来像看怪物似的看着他，教师妻子家庭成员众多——全是年龄相差１岁的女孩，从１５岁到７岁——她们跟在母亲身后蜂拥而出，把他团团围住，对着他张大嘴巴瞪着。在她们后面走出来一位脸色蜡黄、精瘦干瘪、扎着黑头巾的姑姑，最后露面的是奶奶，戴眼镜的老太太。教师妻子非常恳切请公爵进去坐坐，他就照做了。他马上就意识到，她们完全明白他是什么人，她们也清楚地知道，昨天应是她的婚礼，她们想要了解婚礼的情形想得要死，也极想了解目前的怪事：怎么他向她们打听起她来，她现在本应该跟他在帕夫洛夫斯克而不是跟别人在一起，但是她们都知礼识趣。公爵简短地谈了婚礼的事以满足她们的好奇心。她们便开始惊诧）叹气和呼叫，于是公爵不得不把其余的一切几乎都讲了，当然，只是择其要者。最后这儿位聪颖激动的女士商议决定，首先一定要敲开罗戈任的门，并从他那里了解到一切肯定的情况。如果他不在家（这点一定得弄清楚）或者他不想说，那么就去谢苗诺夫团一位女士那里，是个德国人，她是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的熟人，与母亲一起住：也许，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜因为激动不安和想躲起来，就在她们那里过夜了。公爵起身告辞时十分沮丧。她们后来说，他脸色“白得可怕”；确实，他几乎两腿发软。最后，在一片吵得不得了的叽哩哇啦声中他听出了，她们商量着要与他一起行动，并向他要城里的地址。他没有地址；她们建议他住旅馆。公爵想了一下，便把五星期前他曾经在那里发过病的、过去住过的旅馆地址给了她们。接着他又去找罗戈任。这一次罗戈任那里不仅不开门，甚至老太婆住的宅院门也没开。公爵去找管院子人，好不容易在院子里找到他；管院子人正忙着什么事，因此勉强回着话，甚至勉强看看他，但还是肯定地说，帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇“一大清早就出去了，去帕夫洛夫斯克了，今天不会回家。” “我等一等，也许，晚上会回来。” “也许，一星期都不回来，谁知道他。” “这么说，反正昨天是在家过夜的。” “过夜是过夜的……” 所有这一切是令人怀疑的，有鬼名堂。管院子人很可能在这段时间里得到了新的指示，因为刚才还相当多话，而现在简直就是避而不答。但是公爵决定过两小时再来，如果必要的活，甚至就守在门旁。而现在还剩下在德国女人那里的希望，于是他驱车去谢苗诺夫团。 但是在德国女人那里她们甚至不理解他的来意。从她透露的一些话中公爵甚至领悟到，德国美人两星期前与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜吵了一架，因此这些日子来她一点也没听说纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的事，而且现在她竭力要人家知道，她也没有兴趣去听说，“哪怕她嫁给世界上所有的公爵。”公爵急忙走出来。他忽然想到，也许她像那时那样去莫斯科了，而罗戈任当然是追踪而去，也可能是与她一起去。“至少哪怕找到一点踪迹也好！”但是他想起了，他应该在旅馆落脚，便急忙去季捷伊纳亚街，那里立即带他到一个房间去，服务员问他想不想吃点东西，他心不在焉地回答说要，待到醒悟过来，他对自己大发了一通火，因为吃东西耽误了他十小时，只是后来他才明白，他完全可以留下送来的点心，可以不吃。在这昏暗窒闷的走廊里有一种奇怪的感觉，苦苦地竭力要得到某个想法的感觉笼罩着他的心头，但他总是领悟不到，这个新的纠缠不休的想法究竟是什么。最后他魂不守舍地从旅馆里走出来；他的脑袋在打转，但是，到底上哪儿去呢？他又去找罗戈任。 罗戈任没有回来，没人开门应铃声。他又去找罗戈任娜老太婆宅院的铃，门开了，也声称帕尔芬·谢苗诺维奇不在，也许三天都不在。使公爵感到很窘的是，像以前那样，人们用怪异好奇的目光打量他。这次他根本未能找到管院子人。像刚才那样他走到对面人行道上，望着罗戈任家的窗户，在难熬的炎热中徘徊了半小时左右，也许时间还更长些。但这次什么也没动静；窗户没有打开，白色窗幄纹丝不动。他最终认为，刚才一定是他的幻觉，因为从一切迹象看来，甚至窗户也黯然无光，久未擦洗，因此，即使有人真的透过窗户张望，也很难辨认。这个想法使他感到高兴，于是他又到伊斯梅洛夫团教师妻子家去。 那里她们已经在等他了。教师妻子已经到过三四个地方，甚至还去过罗戈任家，那里无声无息。公爵一声不吭听着，走进房间，坐到沙发上，望着大家，似乎不明白她们在对他讲什么。奇怪的是：他一会儿注意力异常敏锐，一会儿又忽然心不在焉到难以置信的地步。这一家人后来称，这一天这个人奇怪得“令人吃惊”，因此，“也许，那时一切就已经显示出来了。”最后，他站起来，请求给他看看纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的房间。这是两间宽敞高大而又明亮的房间，有着相当好的价值不低的家具。这几位女士后来说，公爵察看了房间里的每一样东西，看见了茶几上有一本从图书馆借来的书推开着，是法国长篇小说《包法利夫人》。他注意到了，把打开的那一页折了起来，请求允许把书带走，而且没有听完说出是从图书馆借来的就立即把它放到自己口袋里。他坐到打开的窗口，看见一张写满了粉笔字的小牌桌，便问：谁在玩牌？他们告诉他，每天晚上纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜都与罗戈任打杜拉克，朴列费兰斯，梅利尼克，惠斯特，自选王牌等各种牌戏，只是最近，即从帕夫洛夫斯克搬来彼得堡以后，才开始玩牌的，因为纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜老是抱怨无聊，罗戈任整晚整晚坐着；老不吭声，什么也不会说，而她常常哭泣；于是突然有一天晚上罗戈后从口袋里掏出了纸牌；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜立即笑逐颜开，他们就开始玩起牌来。公爵问，他们玩的牌在哪里？但是牌不在，总是由罗戈任自己放在口袋里带来，每天都是一副新纸牌，用后就随身带走。 这几位女士建议公爵再去罗戈任家，把门敲重些，但不是现在，而是晚上，因为那时“也许会在”。与此同时教师妻子自告奋勇在天黑前去一趟帕夫洛夫斯克找达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜，打听一下那边是否知道什么情况。她们请公爵晚上１０点钟无论如何去她们那儿，以便商量第二天的行动。尽管她们一再安慰和给以希望，公爵心头仍充满了绝望；在难以形容的苦恼中他步行回到自己的旅馆。夏日尘土飞扬、窒闷难受的彼得堡仿佛像钳子似地把他夹得喘不过气来：他在冷峻的或喝醉了酒的人群中挤来挤去，无目的地盯着人们的脸，他走过的路大概比应走的路多得多；当他走进自己房间的时候，天几乎已经完全黑了。他决定稍事休息，然后如她们建议的那样再到罗戈任那儿去。公爵坐到沙发上，双肘撑在桌子上，陷入了沉思。 上帝知道，他想了多久，也只有上帝知道，他想了些什么。他担心许多事情，并且痛苦和难受地感觉到了自己非常害怕。他想到了维拉·列别杰娃；后来又想到，也许，列别杰夫知道这件事的什么情况，即使他不知道，那么也可能比他更快更容易地了解到。后来他又回忆起伊波利特以及罗戈任常去看伊波利特的事。再后来则想起了罗戈任本人：不久前在安魂弥撒上，接着在公园里，接着——突然在这里走廊上，当时他躲地角落里，手持刀等着他。现在他也回忆起了他的眼睛，当时在黑暗中窥视着的眼睛。他颤栗了一下：刚才纠缠不休的念头现在突然冒了出来。 这个念头在某种程度上是这样的：如果罗戈任在彼得堡，那么尽管他要隐藏一段时间，最后反正一定会来找他公爵的，就像过去那样，无论他抱有好的还是坏的意图，总会来找他的。至少，假如罗戈任有什么原因必须要来，那么除了到这里，又是这条走廊外，他再没有别的去处。他不知道公爵的地址，因而很可能会想到公爵住在过去的旅馆里，至少他会试图在这里寻找他……如果非常必要的话，可谁又知道呢，也许，他是很有必要呢？ 他这么想，而且这个念头不知为什么使他觉得完全是可能的。假若他开始深入考虑自己的想法，比如说，为什么罗戈任突然这样需要他？为什么他们最终一定要相见？他无论如何是弄不清楚的。但是这个想法却沉重地压在心头。“如果他很好，他就不会来，”公爵继续想，“如果他觉得不好，他多半会来；而他肯定是觉得不好的……” 当然，既然他这样确信，就应该在旅馆房间里等罗戈任；但是他又仿佛不能承受这种新的想法。便一跃而起，抓起了帽子就往外跑。走道里几乎之经完全黑了。“如果他现在突然从那个角落里走出来并在楼梯旁拦住我，怎么办？”当他走近他所熟悉的地方时，忽然闪过这样的念头。但是没有人走出来。他下楼走近大门，走到人行道上。使他感到惊诧的是，密密麻麻的人群伴随着西下的夕阳涌上街道。（假期的彼得堡总是这样）。他朝豌豆街方向走去。在离旅馆５０步远的地方，在第一个十字路口，人群中突然有人碰了一下他的胳膊）凑在他耳旁低声说： “列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，跟我走吧，兄弟，有必要。” 这是罗戈任。 很奇怪：公爵出于高兴突然开始嘟嘟哝哝地对他说（几乎每句话都没有说到底），他刚才去旅馆走廊里等过他。 “我去过那里，”罗戈任出其不意地回答说，“我们走吧。” 公爵对他的回答很惊讶，但是，至少过了两分钟后他弄清楚了才真正惊讶了，弄清楚这句答话的会意后，公爵吓坏了，开始仔细端详起罗戈任来。罗戈任在前面半步远的地方走着，笔直望着前方，对迎面而来的任何人不望一眼，下意识小心翼翼地给所有的行人让路。 “既然你到了旅馆，为什么不到房间里来找我？”公爵突然问道。 罗戈任停下来，望了他一眼，又想了想，仿佛完全不明白他的问话似的，说： “这样吧，列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，你在这里笔直走，一直走到家，知道吗？我则要在那一边走。你得注意，我们要保持在一起……” 说完，他穿过街道，走上对面的人行道，又看了一下公爵是否在走，当他看见公爵站在那里睁大了眼睛望着他时，便对他朝豌豆街方向挥了一下手，就开步走了，不时地转身看一下公爵，要他跟上自己。他看到公爵明白了他的意思，没有从另一边人行道走到他这边来，他显然很高兴。而公爵则想，罗戈任需要仔细观察并不放过路上的什么人，因此他要走到另一边人行道上去。“只不过为什么他不说一声要看谁？”就这样他们走了５００步光景，突然公爵不知为什么开始浑身打颤；罗戈任虽然比刚才少看他，但仍然不停地回头。公爵忍不住便向他招招手。罗戈任马上穿过街朝他走来。 “难道纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜在你那里？” “在我那里。” “刚才是你从窗幔后面看我？” “是我……” “你怎么……” 但是公爵不知道接下去问什么和怎么结束问话；加上他的心跳得厉害，说话也觉得困难。罗戈任也沉默着，还像先前那样望着他，也就是仿佛若有所思地望着。 “好了，我走了。”他突然说，准备再穿过街去。“你走你自己的，我们就在街上分开走吧……这样我们会觉得好些……各走一边……你会明白的。” 终于，他们从不同的人行道都拐向豌豆街并走近了罗戈任的家，公爵又开始双腿发软了，以致几乎难以行走。已经是晚上１０点左右了。老大婆那一半窗户像刚才那样开着，而罗戈任那里的窗户关着，而且在昏暗的夜色中垂下的白色窗幔变得格外醒目。公爵从对面人行道走近屋子；罗戈任则从自己这边人行道走上台阶并朝他挥手。公爵穿过街走向他，登上了台阶。 “现在管院子人也不知道我回家了。我刚才说去帕夫洛夫斯克，在母亲那里也这么说，”他脸带狡猾而得意的微笑低声说，“我们进去，谁也听不见我们的声音。” 他的手里已经拿好钥匙。上搂梯时，他转过身来，警告公爵，让他走得轻些。他悄悄地开了自己房间的门，放公爵进去，然后小心翼翼地跟在他后面进去，并在身后关上门，把钥匙放进口袋。 “我们往前走，”他悄声低语说。 还是在季捷伊纳亚街的人行道上时他说起话来就是悄声低语的。尽管他外表非常镇静，但是内心却深深不安。当他们走进紧靠着书房的厅堂时，他走近窗口并神秘地招呼公爵走到自己身边来。 “你刚才打铃找我，我在这里马上就猜到这是你本人；我踮着脚走近门边，听到你在跟帕夫季耶夫娜谈话，而我在天刚亮的时候就吩咐过她：如果是你或者是你派的人，或者无论什么人来敲我的门，不管怎么样也不能说我在家；特别要是你自己来问我的去处，更不能说，我还告诉她你的名字，后来，你走出去了，我忽然想到，要是你现在站在那里，从街上察看或者守着呢？于是我就走到这扇窗跟前，撩开窗幔望了一下，而你站在那里正朝我望着……就是这么回事。” “纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜……在什么地方？”公爵喘着气说。 “她……在这里，”罗戈任慢腾腾地说，似乎稍稍等了一会才回答。 “在哪里？” 罗戈任抬眼望着公爵，凝神地望着他。 “我们走……” 他一直低语音，而且不急不忙，慢条斯理，仍像先前那样，似乎奇怪地若有所思着。甚至在讲掀起窗幔的事候，也仿佛是在讲别的事似的，尽管他讲的时候十分冲动。 他们走进书房，从公爵上次到过这里以来，这个房间里发生了一些变化：一道绿色花缎丝幔帘横穿整个房间（两端各有一个出入口，把书房和放着罗戈任床铺的凹室隔了开来。沉重的幔帘垂下着，入口也都关着。但是房间里很暗；彼得堡夏日的白夜也开始变得昏暗，因此若是没有满月，在罗戈任放下窗幔的幽暗的房间里是难以看清楚什么的。确实，还能辨认人的脸，但很模糊。罗戈任照例脸色苍白：眼睛凝视着公爵，特别闪亮，但似乎定定呆呆的。 “你哪怕点支蜡烛？”公爵说。 “不，不用，”罗戈任回答着，挽起公爵的手，把他按到椅子上；他自己移过一把椅子在公爵对面坐下，近得几乎碰着膝盖。他们之间稍稍靠边的地方有一张小园桌。“坐吧，暂时先坐一会！”他说，仿佛在劝对方坐些时候。他们沉默了一会。“我就知道，你会在这家旅馆落脚的，”他说起话来，正像有的时候那样，在谈主要的话题前，先从与正题没有直接关系的局外细节开始谈起，“我走进走廊，就想：也许，他现在正坐着等我，就像此刻我等他一样。你去过教师妻子家了？” “去过，”由于剧烈的心跳，公爵勉强才能说出话来。 “我就想到过这点，我想，还是有话要谈的……后来还想：我带他来这里过夜吧，这样今天夜里就可以一起……” “罗戈任！纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜在哪里？”公爵突然低声说，并浑身上下打着颤，站了起来，罗戈任也站起身。 “在那里，”他朝幔帘那边点了下头，低语说。 “她睡了？”公爵低声问。 罗戈任又像刚才那样凝神望了他一眼。 “还是走过去吧！……只不过你……算了，走吧！” 他撩起入口的门帘，停下来，又转向公爵说。 “进来！”他朝门帘后面点点头，请公爵朝前走。公爵走了进去。 “这里很暗，”他说。 “看得见！”罗戈任喁喁说。 “我勉强看得见……一张床。” “走近些，”罗戈任轻轻地提议说。 公爵又跨近了一步，两步，停住了。他站在那里，细看了一分钟或两分钟；两人在床旁始终没有说一句话；公爵心跳得厉害，在室内死一般的沉寂中好像都能听得到心跳声。但是他已经适应了在黑暗中看东西了，因而已有看清整张床；那上面有人纹丝不动地睡着；听不到一点动静，也听不到丝毫气息。睡着的人被蒙头盖上了一条白床单，但是四肢轮廓似乎显得很模糊；根据凸现的样子，只看得出，睡着的人直挺挺地躺在那里。周围乱糟槽的，床上、脚边、床旁的圈椅上，甚至地上到处乱扔着脱下来的衣服，豪华的白色丝绸裙子，鲜花，缎带。床头旁的小几上摘下来乱摆的钻石首饰闪闪发亮。在脚边一些花边缠成一团，就在那些发白的花边上，从被单下露出一只光裸的脚的脚尖；它就像是大理石雕凿出来似的，一动不动得可怕；公爵看着并感觉到，他越看，房间里就越显死气沉沉和寂静肃穆，突然一只活动起来的苍蝇发出嗡嗡声，在床上方飞过，在床头边销声，公爵颤栗了一下。 “出去吧，”罗戈任碰了一下公爵的手。 他们走了出来，重又坐到刚才的椅子上，还是面对面坐着。公爵打颤越来越厉害，同时疑问的目光一直不从罗戈任的脸上移开。 “我看得出，列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，你在打颤，”罗戈任终于说，“你情绪失常时，记得吗，在莫斯科那次几乎就是这样，或者就是发病前是这样。我想不出来，现在该对你怎么办……” 公爵聚精会神，用心听着，以便理解眼前发生的事，同时又一直用目光询问着。 “这是你干的？”他朝门帘那边点了下头，终于说。 “这……是我……”罗戈任嗫嚅着说，并垂下了头。 他们沉默了５分钟光景。 “因为，”罗戈任突然继续说，仿佛未曾中断谈话似的，“因为要是你发起病来，现在喊叫起来，那么，街上或者院子里大概就会有人听到并猜到，住宅里有人过夜，就会来敲门，就会有人进来……因为大家以为我不在家。我连蜡烛也不点，就是为了不让街上或院子里的人知道。因为我不在时总把钥匙带走，所以没有我，三四天都不会有人进来收拾房间，这是我立的规矩。因此不能让人家知道我们在这里过夜……” “等一下，”公爵说，“我刚才间过管院人和老大婆：纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜有没有过夜？看来，他们已经知道了。” “我知道你问过。我对帕夫季耶夫娜说，昨天纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜顺便来，昨天就去帕夫洛夫斯克了，在我这儿只呆了１０分钟。所以他们不知道她在这里过夜……谁也不知道。昨天我们进来时，完全是悄悄地，就像今天我和你进来时一样。路上我还暗自想，她会不愿意悄悄地进来，－－哪有的的！她低声说话，踮着脚走。为免得发出声响，还脱下了身上的裙子，拿在手里，上楼梯时她自己还用手指头警告我别出声。她一直怕的是你。在火车上完全像个疯子似的，全是因为骇怕，也是她自己愿意到我这儿过夜的；我起先想把她送到教师妻子那儿去的，——哪儿的活！她说，‘在那里天一亮他就把我找到了，你把我藏起来，明天天一亮就去莫斯科”后来又想去奥廖尔的什么地方。她躺下睡觉时还一直说，我们去奥廖尔……” “等一下，你现在怎么办，帕尔芬，你想干什么？” “我就不放心你，你一直在打颤。我们就在这里过夜，一起过夜。除了那张床，这里没有别的床铺，我这样想好了，把两只沙发上的靠垫拿下来，就在这里，在幔窗旁，并排铺起来，给你睡也给我睡，这样可以待在一起。因为，如果有人进来，就会查看或寻找，马上就会看见她并将她运走。就会审问我，我就说是我干的，于是马上会把我带走。现在就让她这样躺着，就在我们旁边，在我和你旁边……” “对，对！”公爵热烈地肯定说。 “就是说，不去自首，也不让抬走。” “决不！”公爵决然说，“无论如何也不！” “我就是这样决定的，老弟，无论如何无论是谁都不交出去。我们悄悄地过一夜。我今天从家里出去只有１小时，是在上午，其余时间一直呆在她身边。后来晚上了我又去找你。我也还担心，天气闷热，会有味儿。你闻到味儿没有？” “也许闻到了也不知道。到早晨一定会有味的。” “我给她盖上了漆布，很好的美国漆布，漆布上面又罩了床单，还放了四瓶开了盖的日丹诺夫杀菌剂，现在还在那里。” “就像那里……莫斯科出的事一样？” “因为，兄弟，怕有味儿。她可就像躺着睡觉守样……到早晨天亮了，你再看看。你怎么啦，起不来了？”看到公爵哆嗦得站不起来，罗戈任又担心又谅讶地问。 “两腿使不上劲，”公爵喃喃说，“这是因为骇怕，我知道……等过了这一阵，就能站起来的……” “等一下，我先来给我们铺好垫子，让你好躺下……”我也跟你一起躺下……然后静听……因为，兄弟，我还不知道……兄弟，我现在还没有全都知道，所以我先对你说，让你早点知道这一切……” 罗戈任一边含糊不清地嘀咕着，一边开始铺垫子，看来，也许还在上午他就暗自想好了这样铺。昨天夜里他自己躺在沙发上。但是沙发上并排躺两人睡不下，而他现在又一定要铺在一起，所以此刻费了好大劲把两只沙发上大小不一的靠垫经过整个房间搬到幔帘后的入口处，总算马马虎虎安顿好了铺位。他走到分爵跟前，温柔而兴奋地搀着他的手，扶他起来，把他带到铺位前；但是，公爵原来已经能自己行走，这就是说，“骇怕已经过去了；”然而他仍然在继续打颤。 “兄弟，因为现在天热，”罗戈任让公爵躺到左边比较好的垫子上，自己则双手枕在脑后，在右边和衣躺下，突然开始说，“你也知道，会有味儿……我怕打开窗户；母亲那儿有些盆花，开着许多花，而且发出很好的香味，我想搬过来，可是帕夫季耶夫娜会猜到的，她很好奇。” “她是很好奇，”公爵随声附和道。 “莫非去买些花束和鲜花来放在她周围？我想，朋友，看着她躺在花丛中，会觉得很可怜。” “听着……”公爵好像思绪紊乱，寻思着究竟应该问什么，又仿佛立即忘了，“听着，告诉我：你用什么干的？用刀子？就那一把？” “就那一把。” “再等一下！帕尔芬，我还想问你……我有许多问题要问你，关于这一切……但你最好先告诉我，一开始就让我知道：你是不是想在我婚礼举行前，就在结婚仪式前，在教堂门前的台阶上就用刀杀死她？你想不想？” “我不知道，想还是不想……”罗戈任干巴巴地回答说，甚至仿佛对此问题感到奇怪和不解。 “你从来也没把刀随身带往帕夫洛夫斯克吗？” “从来没有。我能对你讲的就只是这把刀子，列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，”他沉默一会，又补充说，“我是今天早晨把它从锁着的抽屉里拿出来的，全部事情都是在凌晨３点钟时发生的。这把刀子一直夹放在书里……还有……还使我感到奇怪的是，刀似乎进了一俄寸半……甚或是两俄寸……就在左胸口……可总共就只半汤匙血流在衬衣上，再也没有了……” “这个，这个，这个，”突然公爵激动万分地抬起身子，说，“这个我知道，我书上读到过……这叫内出血……甚至有一滴血也不流的。这是正好刺中心脏……” “等等，你听见没有？”罗戈任突然很快打断了公爵，惊恐地在垫子上坐起来，“听见了吗？” “没有！”公爵望着罗戈任，同样惊恐地很快回答着。 “有人在走动！听见了吗？在厅堂里……” 两人开始倾听。 “听见了，”公爵坚定地低声说。 “在走动？” “在走动。” “要不要锁上门？” “锁上……” 门锁上了，两人重又躺下。很长时间没有作声。 “啊，对了！”公爵突然用原先那种激动和急促的低语轻声说，似乎又捕到了一个念头，非常担心再把它丢了，甚至从铺位上跳了起来。“对了……我想要……这副牌，牌……据说，你跟地玩过牌？” “玩过，”罗戈任沉默一会说。 “牌……在哪里？” “牌就在这里……”静默了更长一会，罗戈任说，“就是这副……”

Part 4 Chapter 10 THE prince did not die before his wedding--either by day or night, as he had foretold that he might. Very probably he passed disturbed nights, and was afflicted with bad dreams; but, during the daytime, among his fellow-men, he seemed as kind as ever, and even contented; only a little thoughtful when alone. The wedding was hurried on. The day was fixed for exactly a week after Evgenie's visit to the prince. In the face of such haste as this, even the prince's best friends (if he had had any) would have felt the hopelessness of any attempt to save" the poor madman." Rumour said that in the visit of Evgenie Pavlovitch was to be discerned the influence of Lizabetha Prokofievna and her husband... But if those good souls, in the boundless kindness of their hearts, were desirous of saving the eccentric young fellow from ruin, they were unable to take any stronger measures to attain that end. Neither their position, nor their private inclination, perhaps (and only naturally), would allow them to use any more pronounced means. We have observed before that even some of the prince's nearest neighbours had begun to oppose him. Vera Lebedeff's passive disagreement was limited to the shedding of a few solitary tears; to more frequent sitting alone at home, and to a diminished frequency in her visits to the prince's apartments. Colia was occupied with his father at this time. The old man died during a second stroke, which took place just eight days after the first. The prince showed great sympathy in the grief of the family, and during the first days of their mourning he was at the house a great deal with Nina Alexandrovna. He went to the funeral, and it was observable that the public assembled in church greeted his arrival and departure with whisperings, and watched him closely. The same thing happened in the park and in the street, wherever he went. He was pointed out when he drove by, and he often overheard the name of Nastasia Philipovna coupled with his own as he passed. People looked out for her at the funeral, too, but she was not there; and another conspicuous absentee was the captain's widow, whom Lebedeff had prevented from coming. The funeral service produced a great effect on the prince. He whispered to Lebedeff that this was the first time he had ever heard a Russian funeral service since he was a little boy. Observing that he was looking about him uneasily, Lebedeff asked him whom he was seeking. "Nothing. I only thought I--" "Is it Rogojin?" "Why--is he here?" "Yes, he's in church." "I thought I caught sight of his eyes!" muttered the prince, in confusion. "But what of it!--Why is he here? Was he asked?" "Oh, dear, no! Why, they don't even know him! Anyone can come in, you know. Why do you look so amazed? I often meet him; I've seen him at least four times, here at Pavlofsk, within the last week." "I haven't seen him once--since that day!" the prince murmured. As Nastasia Philipovna had not said a word about having met Rogojin since "that day," the prince concluded that the latter had his own reasons for wishing to keep out of sight. All the day of the funeral our hero, was in a deeply thoughtful state, while Nastasia Philipovna was particularly merry, both in the daytime and in the evening. Colia had made it up with the prince before his father's death, and it was he who urged him to make use of Keller and Burdovsky, promising to answer himself for the former's behaviour. Nina Alexandrovna and Lebedeff tried to persuade him to have the wedding in St. Petersburg, instead of in the public fashion contemplated, down here at Pavlofsk in the height of the season. But the prince only said that Nastasia Philipovna desired to have it so, though he saw well enough what prompted their arguments. The next day Keller came to visit the prince. He was in a high state of delight with the post of honour assigned to him at the wedding. Before entering he stopped on the threshold, raised his hand as if making a solemn vow, and cried: "I won't drink!" Then he went up to the prince, seized both his hands, shook them warmly, and declared that he had at first felt hostile towards the project of this marriage, and had openly said so in the billiard-rooms, but that the reason simply was that, with the impatience of a friend, he had hoped to see the prince marry at least a Princess de Rohan or de Chabot; but that now he saw that the prince's way of thinking was ten times more noble than that of "all the rest put together." For he desired neither pomp nor wealth nor honour, but only the truth! The sympathies of exalted personages were well known, and the prince was too highly placed by his education, and so on, not to be in some sense an exalted personage! "But all the common herd judge 'differently; in the town, at the meetings, in the villas, at the band, in the inns and the billiard-rooms, the coming event has only to be mentioned and there are shouts and cries from everybody. I have even heard talk of getting up a 'charivari' under the windows on the wedding- night. So if 'you have need of the pistol' of an honest man, prince, I am ready to fire half a dozen shots even before you rise from your nuptial couch!" Keller also advised, in anticipation of the crowd making a rush after the ceremony, that a fire-hose should be placed at the entrance to the house; but Lebedeff was opposed to this measure, which he said might result in the place being pulled down. "I assure you, prince, that Lebedeff is intriguing against you. He wants to put you under control. Imagine that! To take 'from you the use of your free-will and your money--that' is to say, the two things that distinguish us from the animals! I have heard it said positively. It is the sober truth." The prince recollected that somebody had told him something of the kind before, and he had, of course, scoffed at it. He only laughed now, and forgot the hint at once. Lebedeff really had been busy for some little while; but, as usual, his plans had become too complex to succeed, through sheer excess of ardour. When he came to the prince--the very day before the wedding--to confess (for he always confessed to the persons against whom he intrigued, especially when the plan failed), he informed our hero that he himself was a born Talleyrand, but for some unknown reason had become simple Lebedeff. He then proceeded to explain his whole game to the prince, interesting the latter exceedingly. According to Lebedeff's account, he had first tried what he could do with General Epanchin. The latter informed him that he wished well to the unfortunate young man, and would gladly do what he could to "save him," but that he did not think it would be seemly for him to interfere in this matter. Lizabetha Prokofievna would neither hear nor see him. Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch only shrugged their shoulders, and implied that it was no business of theirs. However, Lebedeff had not lost heart, and went off to a clever lawyer,--a worthy and respectable man, whom he knew well. This old gentleman informed him that the thing was perfectly feasible if he could get hold of competent witnesses as to Muishkin's mental incapacity. Then, with the assistance of a few influential persons, he would soon see the matter arranged. Lebedeff immediately procured the services of an old doctor, and carried the latter away to Pavlofsk to see the prince, by way of viewing the ground, as it were, and to give him (Lebedeff) counsel as to whether the thing was to be done or not. The visit was not to be official, but merely friendly. Muishkin remembered the doctor's visit quite well. He remembered that Lebedeff had said that he looked ill, and had better see a doctor; and although the prince scouted the idea, Lebedeff had turned up almost immediately with his old friend, explaining that they had just met at the bedside of Hippolyte, who was very ill, and that the doctor had something to tell the prince about the sick man. The prince had, of course, at once received him, and had plunged into a conversation about Hippolyte. He had given the doctor an account of Hippolyte's attempted suicide; and had proceeded thereafter to talk of his own malady,--of Switzerland, of Schneider, and so on; and so deeply was the old man interested by the prince's conversation and his description of Schneider's system, that he sat on for two hours. Muishkin gave him excellent cigars to smoke, and Lebedeff, for his part, regaled him with liqueurs, brought in by Vera, to whom the doctor--a married man and the father of a family--addressed such compliments that she was filled with indignation. They parted friends, and, after leaving the prince, the doctor said to Lebedeff: "If all such people were put under restraint, there would be no one left for keepers." Lebedeff then, in tragic tones, told of the approaching marriage, whereupon the other nodded his head and replied that, after all, marriages like that were not so rare; that he had heard that the lady was very fascinating and of extraordinary beauty, which was enough to explain the infatuation of a wealthy man; that, further, thanks to the liberality of Totski and of Rogojin, she possessed--so he had heard--not only money, but pearls, diamonds, shawls, and furniture, and consequently she could not be considered a bad match. In brief, it seemed to the doctor that the prince's choice, far from being a sign of foolishness, denoted, on the contrary, a shrewd, calculating, and practical mind. Lebedeff had been much struck by this point of view, and he terminated his confession by assuring the prince that he was ready, if need be, to shed his very life's blood for him. Hippolyte, too, was a source of some distraction to the prince at this time; he would send for him at any and every hour of the day. They lived,--Hippolyte and his mother and the children,--in a small house not far off, and the little ones were happy, if only because they were able to escape from the invalid into the garden. The prince had enough to do in keeping the peace between the irritable Hippolyte and his mother, and eventually the former became so malicious and sarcastic on the subject of the approaching wedding, that Muishkin took offence at last, and refused to continue his visits. A couple of days later, however, Hippolyte's mother came with tears in her eyes, and begged the prince to come back, "or HE would eat her up bodily." She added that Hippolyte had a great secret to disclose. Of course the prince went. There was no secret, however, unless we reckon certain pantings and agitated glances around (probably all put on) as the invalid begged his visitor to "beware of Rogojin." "He is the sort of man," he continued,. "who won't give up his object, you know; he is not like you and me, prince--he belongs to quite a different order of beings. If he sets his heart on a thing he won't be afraid of anything--" and so on. Hippolyte was very ill, and looked as though he could not long survive. He was tearful at first, but grew more and more sarcastic and malicious as the interview proceeded. The prince questioned him in detail as to his hints about Rogojin. He was anxious to seize upon some facts which might confirm Hippolyte's vague warnings; but there were none; only Hippolyte's own private impressions and feelings. However, the invalid--to his immense satisfaction--ended by seriously alarming the prince. At first Muishkin had not cared to make any reply to his sundry questions, and only smiled in response to Hippolyte's advice to "run for his life--abroad, if necessary. There are Russian priests everywhere, and one can get married all over the world." But it was Hippolyte's last idea which upset him. "What I am really alarmed about, though," he said, "is Aglaya Ivanovna. Rogojin knows how you love her. Love for love. You took Nastasia Philipovna from him. He will murder Aglaya Ivanovna; for though she is not yours, of course, now, still such an act would pain you,--wouldn't it?" He had attained his end. The prince left the house beside himself with terror. These warnings about Rogojin were expressed on the day before the wedding. That evening the prince saw Nastasia Philipovna for the last time before they were to meet at the altar; but Nastasia was not in a position to give him any comfort or consolation. On the contrary, she only added to his mental perturbation as the evening went on. Up to this time she had invariably done her best to cheer him--she was afraid of his looking melancholy; she would try singing to him, and telling him every sort of funny story or reminiscence that she could recall. The prince nearly always pretended to be amused, whether he were so actually or no; but often enough he laughed sincerely, delighted by the brilliancy of her wit when she was carried away by her narrative, as she very often was. Nastasia would be wild with joy to see the impression she had made, and to hear his laugh of real amusement; and she would remain the whole evening in a state of pride and happiness. But this evening her melancholy and thoughtfulness grew with every hour. The prince had told Evgenie Pavlovitch with perfect sincerity that he loved Nastasia Philipovna with all his soul. In his love for her there was the sort of tenderness one feels for a sick, unhappy child which cannot be left alone. He never spoke of his feelings for Nastasia to anyone, not even to herself. When they were together they never discussed their "feelings," and there was nothing in their cheerful, animated conversation which an outsider could not have heard. Daria Alexeyevna, with whom Nastasia was staying, told afterwards how she had been filled with joy and delight only to look at them, all this time. Thanks to the manner in which he regarded Nastasia's mental and moral condition, the prince was to some extent freed from other perplexities. She was now quite different from the woman he had known three months before. He was not astonished, for instance, to see her now so impatient to marry him--she who formerly had wept with rage and hurled curses and reproaches at him if he mentioned marriage! "It shows that she no longer fears, as she did then, that she would make me unhappy by marrying me," he thought. And he felt sure that so sudden a change could not be a natural one. This rapid growth of self-confidence could not be due only to her hatred for Aglaya. To suppose that would be to suspect the depth of her feelings. Nor could it arise from dread of the fate that awaited her if she married Rogojin. These causes, indeed, as well as others, might have played a part in it, but the true reason, Muishkin decided, was the one he had long suspected--that the poor sick soul had come to the end of its forces. Yet this was an explanation that did not procure him any peace of mind. At times he seemed to be making violent efforts to think of nothing, and one would have said that he looked on his marriage as an unimportant formality, and on his future happiness as a thing not worth considering. As to conversations such as the one held with Evgenie Pavlovitch, he avoided them as far as possible, feeling that there were certain objections to which he could make no answer. The prince had observed that Nastasia knew well enough what Aglaya was to him. He never spoke of it, but he had seen her face when she had caught him starting off for the Epanchins' house on several occasions. When the Epanchins left Pavlofsk, she had beamed with radiance and happiness. Unsuspicious and unobservant as he was, he had feared at that time that Nastasia might have some scheme in her mind for a scene or scandal which would drive Aglaya out of Pavlofsk. She had encouraged the rumours and excitement among the inhabitants of the place as to her marriage with the prince, in order to annoy her rival; and, finding it difficult to meet the Epanchins anywhere, she had, on one occasion, taken him for a drive past their house. He did not observe what was happening until they were almost passing the windows, when it was too late to do anything. He said nothing, but for two days afterwards he was ill. Nastasia did not try that particular experiment again. A few days before that fixed for the wedding, she grew grave and thoughtful. She always ended by getting the better of her melancholy, and becoming merry and cheerful again, but not quite so unaffectedly happy as she had been some days earlier. The prince redoubled his attentive study of her symptoms. It was a most curious circumstance, in his opinion, that she never spoke of Rogojin. But once, about five days before the wedding, when the prince was at home, a messenger arrived begging him to come at once, as Nastasia Philipovna was very ill. He had found her in a condition approaching to absolute madness. She screamed, and trembled, and cried out that Rogojin was hiding out there in the garden--that she had seen him herself--and that he would murder her in the night--that he would cut her throat. She was terribly agitated all day. But it so happened that the prince called at Hippolyte's house later on, and heard from his mother that she had been in town all day, and had there received a visit from Rogojin, who had made inquiries about Pavlofsk. On inquiry, it turned out that Rogojin visited the old lady in town at almost the same moment when Nastasia declared that she had seen him in the garden; so that the whole thing turned out to be an illusion on her part. Nastasia immediately went across to Hippolyte's to inquire more accurately, and returned immensely relieved and comforted. On the day before the wedding, the prince left Nastasia in a state of great animation. Her wedding-dress and all sorts of finery had just arrived from town. Muishkin had not imagined that she would be so excited over it, but he praised everything, and his praise rendered her doubly happy. But Nastasia could not hide the cause of her intense interest in her wedding splendour. She had heard of the indignation in the town, and knew that some of the populace was getting up a sort of charivari with music, that verses had been composed for the occasion, and that the rest of Pavlofsk society more or less encouraged these preparations. So, since attempts were being made to humiliate her, she wanted to hold her head even higher than usual, and to overwhelm them all with the beauty and taste of her toilette. "Let them shout and whistle, if they dare!" Her eyes flashed at the thought. But, underneath this, she had another motive, of which she did not speak. She thought that possibly Aglaya, or at any rate someone sent by her, would be present incognito at the ceremony, or in the crowd, and she wished to be prepared for this eventuality. The prince left her at eleven, full of these thoughts, and went home. But it was not twelve o'clock when a messenger came to say that Nastasia was very bad, and he must come at once. On hurrying back he found his bride locked up in her own room and could hear her hysterical cries and sobs. It was some time before she could be made to hear that the prince had come, and then she opened the door only just sufficiently to let him in, and immediately locked it behind him. She then fell on her knees at his feet. (So at least Dana Alexeyevna reported.) "What am I doing? What am I doing to you?" she sobbed convulsively, embracing his knees. The prince was a whole hour soothing and comforting her, and left her, at length, pacified and composed. He sent another messenger during the night to inquire after her, and two more next morning. The last brought back a message that Nastasia was surrounded by a whole army of dressmakers and maids, and was as happy and as busy as such a beauty should be on her wedding morning, and that there was not a vestige of yesterday's agitation remaining. The message concluded with the news that at the moment of the bearer's departure there was a great confabulation in progress as to which diamonds were to be worn, and how. This message entirely calmed the prince's mind. The following report of the proceedings on the wedding day may be depended upon, as coming from eye-witnesses. The wedding was fixed for eight o'clock in the evening. Nastasia Philipovna was ready at seven. From six o'clock groups of people began to gather at Nastasia's house, at the prince's, and at the church door, but more especially at the former place. The church began to fill at seven. Colia and Vera Lebedeff were very anxious on the prince's account, but they were so busy over the arrangements for receiving the guests after the wedding, that they had not much time for the indulgence of personal feelings. There were to be very few guests besides the best men and so on; only Dana Alexeyevna, the Ptitsins, Gania, and the doctor. When the prince asked Lebedeff why he had invited the doctor, who was almost a stranger, Lebedeff replied: "Why, he wears an 'order,' and it looks so well!" This idea amused the prince. Keller and Burdovsky looked wonderfully correct in their dress- coats and white kid gloves, although Keller caused the bridegroom some alarm by his undisguisedly hostile glances at the gathering crowd of sight-seers outside. At about half-past seven the prince started for the church in his carriage. We may remark here that he seemed anxious not to omit a single one of the recognized customs and traditions observed at weddings. He wished all to be done as openly as possible, and "in due order." Arrived at the church, Muishkin, under Keller's guidance, passed through the crowd of spectators, amid continuous whispering and excited exclamations. The prince stayed near the altar, while Keller made off once more to fetch the bride. On reaching the gate of Daria Alexeyevna's house, Keller found a far denser crowd than he had encountered at the prince's. The remarks and exclamations of the spectators here were of so irritating a nature that Keller was very near making them a speech on the impropriety of their conduct, but was luckily caught by Burdovsky, in the act of turning to address them, and hurried indoors. Nastasia Philipovna was ready. She rose from her seat, looked into the glass and remarked, as Keller told the tale afterwards, that she was "as pale as a corpse." She then bent her head reverently, before the ikon in the corner, and left the room. A torrent of voices greeted her appearance at the front door. The crowd whistled, clapped its hands, and laughed and shouted; but in a moment or two isolated voices were distinguishable. "What a beauty!" cried one. "Well, she isn't the first in the world, nor the last," said another. "Marriage covers everything," observed a third. "I defy you to find another beauty like that," said a fourth. "She's a real princess! I'd sell my soul for such a princess as that!" Nastasia came out of the house looking as white as any handkerchief; but her large dark eyes shone upon the vulgar crowd like blazing coals. The spectators' cries were redoubled, and became more exultant and triumphant every moment. The door of the carriage was open, and Keller had given his hand to the bride to help her in, when suddenly with a loud cry she rushed from him, straight into the surging crowd. Her friends about her were stupefied with amazement; the crowd parted as she rushed through it, and suddenly, at a distance of five or six yards from the carriage, appeared Rogojin. It was his look that had caught her eyes. Nastasia rushed to him like a madwoman, and seized both his hands. "Save me!" she cried. "Take me away, anywhere you like, quick!" Rogojin seized her in his arms and almost carried her to the carriage. Then, in a flash, he tore a hundred-rouble note out of his pocket and held it to the coachman. "To the station, quick! If you catch the train you shall have another. Quick!" He leaped into the carriage after Nastasia and banged the door. The coachman did not hesitate a moment; he whipped up the horses, and they were oft. "One more second and I should have stopped him," said Keller, afterwards. In fact, he and Burdovsky jumped into another carriage and set off in pursuit; but it struck them as they drove along that it was not much use trying to bring Nastasia back by force. "Besides," said Burdovsky," the prince would not like it, would he?" So they gave up the pursuit. Rogojin and Nastasia Philipovna reached the station just in time for the train. As he jumped out of the carriage and was almost on the point of entering the train, Rogojin accosted a young girl standing on the platform and wearing an old-fashioned, but respectable-looking, black cloak and a silk handkerchief over her head. "Take fifty roubles for your cloak?" he shouted, holding the money out to the girl. Before the astonished young woman could collect her scattered senses, he pushed the money into her hand, seized the mantle, and threw it and the handkerchief over Nastasia's head and shoulders. The latter's wedding-array would have attracted too much attention, and it was not until some time later that the girl understood why her old cloak and kerchief had been bought at such a price. The news of what had happened reached the church with extraordinary rapidity. When Keller arrived, a host of people whom he did not know thronged around to ask him questions. There was much excited talking, and shaking of heads, even some laughter; but no one left the church, all being anxious to observe how the now celebrated bridegroom would take the news. He grew very pale upon hearing it, but took it quite quietly. "I was afraid," he muttered, scarcely audibly, "but I hardly thought it would come to this." Then after a short silence, he added: "However, in her state, it is quite consistent with the natural order of things." Even Keller admitted afterwards that this was "extraordinarily philosophical" on the prince's part. He left the church quite calm, to all appearances, as many witnesses were found to declare afterwards. He seemed anxious to reach home and be left alone as quickly as possible; but this was not to be. He was accompanied by nearly all the invited guests, and besides this, the house was almost besieged by excited bands of people, who insisted upon being allowed to enter the verandah. The prince heard Keller and Lebedeff remonstrating and quarrelling with these unknown individuals, and soon went out himself. He approached the disturbers of his peace, requested courteously to be told what was desired; then politely putting Lebedeff and Keller aside, he addressed an old gentleman who was standing on the verandah steps at the head of the band of would-be guests, and courteously requested him to honour him with a visit. The old fellow was quite taken aback by this, but entered, followed by a few more, who tried to appear at their ease. The rest remained outside, and presently the whole crowd was censuring those who had accepted the invitation. The prince offered seats to his strange visitors, tea was served, and a general conversation sprang up. Everything was done most decorously, to the considerable surprise of the intruders. A few tentative attempts were made to turn the conversation to the events of the day, and a few indiscreet questions were asked; but Muishkin replied to everybody with such simplicity and good-humour, and at the same time with so much dignity, and showed such confidence in the good breeding of his guests, that the indiscreet talkers were quickly silenced. By degrees the conversation became almost serious. One gentleman suddenly exclaimed, with great vehemence: "Whatever happens, I shall not sell my property; I shall wait. Enterprise is better than money, and there, sir, you have my whole system of economy, if you wish!" He addressed the prince, who warmly commended his sentiments, though Lebedeff whispered in his ear that this gentleman, who talked so much of his "property," had never had either house or home. Nearly an hour passed thus, and when tea was over the visitors seemed to think that it was time to go. As they went out, the doctor and the old gentleman bade Muishkin a warm farewell, and all the rest took their leave with hearty protestations of good- will, dropping remarks to the effect that "it was no use worrying," and that "perhaps all would turn out for the best," and so on. Some of the younger intruders would have asked for champagne, but they were checked by the older ones. When all had departed, Keller leaned over to Lebedeff, and said: "With you and me there would have been a scene. We should have shouted and fought, and called in the police. But he has simply made some new friends--and such friends, too! I know them!" Lebedeff, who was slightly intoxicated, answered with a sigh: "Things are hidden from the wise and prudent, and revealed unto babes. I have applied those words to him before, but now I add that God has preserved the babe himself from the abyss, He and all His saints." At last, about half-past ten, the prince was left alone. His head ached. Colia was the last to go, after having helped him to change his wedding clothes. They parted on affectionate terms, and, without speaking of what had happened, Colia promised to come very early the next day. He said later that the prince had given no hint of his intentions when they said good-bye, but had hidden them even from him. Soon there was hardly anyone left in the house. Burdovsky had gone to see Hippolyte; Keller and Lebedeff had wandered off together somewhere. Only Vera Lebedeff remained hurriedly rearranging the furniture in the rooms. As she left the verandah, she glanced at the prince. He was seated at the table, with both elbows upon it, and his head resting on his hands. She approached him, and touched his shoulder gently. The prince started and looked at her in perplexity; he seemed to be collecting his senses for a minute or so, before he could remember where he was. As recollection dawned upon him, he became violently agitated. All he did, however, was to ask Vera very earnestly to knock at his door and awake him in time for the first train to Petersburg next morning. Vera promised, and the prince entreated her not to tell anyone of his intention. She promised this, too; and at last, when she had half-closed the door, be called her back a third time, took her hands in his, kissed them, then kissed her forehead, and in a rather peculiar manner said to her, "Until tomorrow!" Such was Vera's story afterwards. She went away in great anxiety about him, but when she saw him in the morning, he seemed to be quite himself again, greeted her with a smile, and told her that he would very likely be back by the evening. It appears that he did not consider it necessary to inform anyone excepting Vera of his departure for town. 然而，直至结婚公爵既没有在清醒时也没有像他对叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇预言的那样“在梦中”死去。也许，他确实睡得不好，做了恶梦；但是在白天跟人们在一起时他显得十分慈和，甚至颇为满意，只是有时候思虑重重，但这通常是一个人的时候。婚礼在加紧准备着，将在叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇来访后过一个星期左右举行，在这么急促的情况下即使是公爵最好的朋友（如果他有这样的朋友）也必然会对他们企图“拯救”不幸的痴子的努力感到失望。有传闻说，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇的拜访部分是伊万·费奥多罗维奇将军和他的夫人叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜出的主意。但是，如果出于无限的好心他们俩愿意挽救这可怜的痴子脱离深渊，那么，当然，他们也只能限于这种浅微的尝试；无论是他们的处境，甚至无论是他们的心境（这是很自然的）都不适于做出更大的努力。我们已经提到过，甚至公爵周围的人也在一定程度上反对他。不过维拉·列别杰娃只是独自洒泪，还有她坐在自己屋子里的时间多，比过去少去看公爵了。科利亚这段时间里办了父亲的丧事；老头死于第二天中风，这是在第一次中风后过了八天以后发生的。公爵对他们家的痛苦表示极大同情，最初几天在尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜那儿常常几小时地陪着；他也参加了葬礼教堂里的仪式。许多人注意到了，在教堂里的人们不满地窃窃私语着迎送着公爵；在街上和花园里也是这样：当他走过或者坐车经过的时候，便响起了窃窃私语，提到他的名字，指指戳戳，还听到纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的名字：人们在葬礼上还寻找她，但她没有参加葬礼。大尉夫人也没有出席葬礼，列别杰夫总算及时制止了她去。安魂弥撤仪式给公爵留下了强烈的痛苦的印象；还在教堂里的时候，他回答列别杰夫的什么问题，对他低语道，他第一次出席东正教的安魂弥撒，只记得童年时在乡村教堂里参加过另一种安魂弥撒。 “是啊，就像不是那个人躺在棺村里，还完全是不久前我们还请他坐在主席位置上，记得吗？”列别杰夫对公爵轻轻说道，“您在找谁？” “没什么，我觉得……” “是罗戈任吗？” “难道他在这里。” “在教堂里。” “怪不得我仿佛觉得有他的一双眼睛，”公爵惶惑地说，“这算什么……他为什么来？是邀请的？” “根本就没有想过要邀请他。他可完全与死者不相识。这里各种各样人都有，是公共场所嘛。您干嘛这么惊讶？我现在常常遇见他；最近这个星期里，在帕夫洛夫斯克这里，我已经遇到他四次了。” “从那时起……我一次还没有见过他，”公爵喃喃说。 因为纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜还一次也没有告诉过他，从那时起遇到过罗戈任，所以公爵现在得出结论，罗戈任不知为什么故意不露面。这一整天他陷于深深的沉思之中；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那天白天和晚上都非常快活。 科利亚在父母去世前就与公爵取得了和解，他提议邀请凯勒尔和布尔多夫斯基当傧相（因为事情很迫切，已刻不容缓）。他为凯勒尔担保，说他会举止得体，也许还“很中用”，至于布尔多夫斯基就没什么好说的，这是安静谦和的人。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜和列别杰夫向公爵指出，既然已决定举行婚礼，至少何必在帕夫洛夫斯克办事，而且还在人们来别墅消夏的旺季，何必要如此声张？在彼得堡甚至在家里不是更好吗？公爵对于没有这些疑俱的意思是十分明了的；但他回答得简单扼要，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的意愿一定要这样办。第二天凯勒尔未见公爵，他已被告知当傧相。的事，在进来之前，他停在门口，一见公爵便举起右手，弯曲着食指，像发誓似地喊着： “我不喝酒！” 然后他走到公爵面前，紧紧地握着和抖动着他的双手，声称道，一开始当他听说公爵要结婚的事时，当然，他曾经是反对者，并且在打弹子时还宣布过这一点，不是什么别的原因，而是因为他为公爵认定了；并且怀着朋友的焦急心情每天都等待着看见在他身后的人应无异于德罗安公主这样的人，但现在他亲眼看到，公爵所想的比他们所有人“加在一起”想的至少要高尚十二倍：因为他需要的不是显赫，不是财产，甚至也不是声望，而只是真理！高贵的人物的好恶太为众人所知了，而公爵不当高贵的人，说真的，他的教养太高尚了。“但是混蛋和各种各样的小人却不是这样看问题；在城里，在家里，在会议上，在别墅里，“在音乐会上，在酒铺里，在弹子房里就只是关于即将举行婚礼的闲言碎语、喧哗嚷闹。我听说，有些人甚至想在窗下起哄生事。而且是在所谓新婚之夜！公爵，如果您用得着一个忠诚的人的手熗，那么，我准备用掉它半打高尚的子弹，让您第二天早上安然从喜床上起来。”他担心从教堂出来时会涌来大批渴望见到新人的人，因此建议在院子里准备好水龙带；但列别杰夫表示反对，“用水龙带会把房子彻底冲垮。” “这个列别杰夫在对您耍诡计，公爵，真的！他们想把您置于官方保护之下，您能想象到这点吗，还连同您的一切，您的自由和金钱，也就是我们每个人区分于四足动物的两样东西！我听说了，真的听说了！这是干真万确的！” 公爵记起来，似乎他自己也听到过这一类话，但是，他自然没有加以注意。就是现在他也只是放声大笑一阵，便就忘了。列别杰夫确实忙碌了一阵子；这个人打的主意总仿佛是灵机一动产生出来的，由于过分急切而使事情变得复杂，节外生枝，离开了原先的出发点而向四面八方岔开去；这就是为什么他一生中很少有什么取得成功。后来，几乎已经是举行婚礼那一天，他来向公爵表示悔过（他有一个始终不变的习惯，总是会向被他算计过的人忏悔，尤其是未能得逞的情况下这样做），他声称，他天生是个塔列兰＊，可是不知怎么搞的他仍然只是列别杰夫，接着他向公爵但白了全部把戏，还使公爵产生莫大的兴趣。用他的话来说，他是从寻找高层人物的保护开始的，以便在必要的时候可以依靠他们，于是他就去找伊万·费奥多罗维奇将军：伊万·费奥多罗维奇将军甚为困感，他很希望“年轻人”好，但是他宣布：“即使有挽救的愿望，这种事上他不便采取行动。”莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜则既不想听他也不想看见他；叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇和ω公爵只是连连挥手。但是列别杰夫他并没有气馁，跟一个瘦律师商量，这是个受人尊敬的老头，他的好朋友。“这几乎是恩人”，那人做出结论说此事完来可能办到。“只要有智力失常和精神障碍的权威性证明”与此同时，主要要有高层人士的保护。列别杰夫没有沮丧，马上在有一天甚至带了医生来见公爵。这也是一位德高望重的老头，来住别墅消夏的，脖子上还挂一枚安娜勋章。带他来的唯一目的据说是为了看看地方，认识一下公爵以及暂时是非正式地而是所谓友好地告知有关他健康的结论意见。公爵记起了大夫对他的这次拜访；他记得，列别杰夫还在上一天就缠着他，说他身体不好、在公爵坚决拒绝医治的情况下，他突然与一位大夫一起来了，推托说他们俩刚从捷连季耶夫先生那儿来，他情况很槽，大夫有话要对公爵讲讲病人的情况。公爵称赞了列别杰夫，并十分高兴地接待了大夫。马上他们就伊波利特的病交谈起来。大夫请求详细讲一下当时自杀的情景，公爵对事件的叙述和解释完全吸引住了大夫。他们还谈起了彼得堡的气候，公爵本人的病，还谈到了瑞士，施奈德。公蛋叙述的施奈德用的治疗体系和各种故事使大夫产生浓厚的兴趣，以致耽了二个小时；与此同时还抽了公爵的上好的雪茄，而列别杰夫则有维拉送来的可口饮料。大夫是个有妻室和家庭的人，竟对维拉说起特别的恭维话来，惹得她深为气忿。他们分手时已成为朋友，从公爵家出来后，大夫告诉列别杰夫，如果所有这样的人都要置于保护之下，那么该让谁来当保护人呢，对于列别杰夫悲痛地叙述的迫在眉睫的事，大夫狡黠和诡诈地摇摇头，最后指出，不用说“随便什么人都要跟人结婚”，“这个迷人的女人有着非凡的美貌，光是这一点就已经足以使有财产的人倾心迷恋，除此而外，至少我听说，她拥有从托茨基和罗戈任那儿得到的大笔财产，珍珠钻石，衣物家具，因此眼前的选择不仅没有表现出亲爱的公爵所谓特别惹人注目的愚蠢，相反甚至证明了他的乖觉睿智、聪明颖悟和精明练达，因而也就促使我们得出一个相反的、对公爵来说完全是愉快的结论……”这个想法使列别杰夫大为惊讶；他就此罢休，并对公爵补充说，“现在，除了忠诚和甘洒热血，您从我身上看不到任何别的东西；我就是怀着这样的肝胆来的。” ＊法国外交家（１７５４一１８３８），此处用以比喻惯于玩弄手腕，狡诈多变的人。 伊波利特这些日子也让公爵分心。他差人来叫公爵的次数太频繁了。他们家住在一幢小屋子里，离公爵家不远；小孩子们，即伊波利特的弟弟和妹妹喜欢这幢别墅，至少是因为可以躲开生病的兄长去花园玩；可怜的大尉夫人则完全听从他的摆布，十足成为他的牺牲品；公爵每天都得为他们劝架，调解，病人则继续称他是自己的 “保姆”，同时因为他扮演调解者的角色而似乎敢于蔑视他。他对科利亚非常不满，因为他几乎不到他哪儿去，先是留在濒死的父亲身边，后来又陪着成了寡妇的母亲，最后，科利亚又把公爵即将与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜结婚这件事作为嘲笑的目标，结果使公爵的自尊心受到了侮辱，最终弄得他发脾气，也就不再来看他。过了两天，大尉夫人一早便款款而来，流着眼泪请求公爵到他们家去，不然那个活宝会把她一口吞了。她还补充说，他有一个重大的秘密想泄露给公爵。于是公爵去了。伊波利特希望和解，还哭了起来，哭过以后当然更加怨恨，但是只是不敢说出来罢了。他的身体状况很糟，从一切迹象来看，现在已经不久于人世了。他并没有什么秘密要告诉，唯有激动得喘不过气来（也许是装出来的）说出的强烈请求“要当心罗戈任。这个人是不达目的不肯罢休的，公爵，他可非是您我之辈，这个人只要想干，那是不会胆战心惊的……”等等，等等，公爵开始详细地询问，他想要得到若干事实；但是除了伊波利特的个人感受和印象外，没有任何事实。伊波利特非常满足，他终于把公爵吓得够呛。开始公爵不愿意回答他的一些特别的问题，对于他的主意“甚至哪怕是逃到国外去；到处都有俄国的神父，在那边也可以结婚”，他也只是报以微笑。但是，未了伊波利特讲了下面一个想法：“我只是为阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜担心：罗戈任知道，您是多么爱她；他就会以爱换爱；您从他那里夺走了纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜，他会杀死阿格拉娅·费利帕夫娜；虽然她现在不是您的人，但您还是会感到难受的，不是吗？” 伊波利特达到了目的；公爵离开他的时候魂不守舍，神情恍惚。 公爵听到这番有关罗戈任的警告已经是在婚礼前一天了。这一天晚上，在婚礼前最后一次公爵与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜见面；但是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜未能使他放下心来，甚至相反，近来她越来越增添了他的惶惑。过去，即几天前。每当与他会面她总是想方设法竭力使他开心，他那忧郁的神态让她害怕得不得了：她甚至尝试唱歌给他听；最经常的是给他讲她能记得的一切可笑的事情。公爵几乎总是装出非常好笑的样子，当她讲得激动的时候（而她往往讲起来很投入），有时会显露出卓越的才智和豁达的感情，这时他也确实会对此而发笑，看到公爵发笑，看到讲故事使公爵产生了印象，她自己也欣喜万分，开始感到自豪。但是现在她的忧虑和沉思几乎每小时都在递增。公爵对纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的看法已经确定不移，不然，她这一切现在自然会使他觉得莫名其妙和不可理解。但是他真诚地相信，她还会恢复过来的，他完全真实地对叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇说，他真心实意地爱她，他对她的爱确实包含着一种犹如对一个可怜的病孩的爱，而对这样的病孩是很难、甚至是不可能放任不管的。公爵没向任何人解释过自己对她的感情，甚至也不喜欢谈论这个话题，即使不能回避这样的谈话也是这样。他与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜一起坐着时，也从来不谈及“感情”，仿佛两人都发了誓似的。任何人都可以加入他们平时那愉快活泼的谈话。达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜后来说，这一段时间她望着他们，只觉得赏心悦目，欢喜异常。 但是公爵对纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜精神和理智状态的这种看法多少使他摆脱了许多其他的困惑，现在这已经完全不同于三个月前他认识的那个女人了。现在他已经不去考虑，比如说，为什么她当初流着眼泪、发出诅咒和责备逃避与他结婚，而现在她自己却坚持要尽快举行婚礼？“看来，她已经不像当时那样害怕与他结婚会给他带来不幸，”公爵想。这么快滋生的自信，在公爵看来，在她身上是不自然的，而且，光是对阿格拉娅的憎恨也不可能产生这种自信：纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的感情要深沉些。是不是罗戈任这样的结局令她感到害怕？总之，所有这些及其他的原因可能都是存在的，但是对于公爵来说最清楚的，也正是他早已怀疑的原因是，她那不幸的、痛苦的心灵承受不了。这一切虽然在某种程度上可以摆脱困惑，但是并不能使他在这段时间里得到安宁和休息。有时候他竭力什么都不去想；对于结婚，他似乎确实把它看做是某种并不那么重要的形式；对于自己个人的命运他也看得过于无足轻重。至于别人的反对、谈话（类似与叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇的谈话），他则绝对什么也不能回答，认为自己完全无以应对，因此总是回避这一类的各种谈话。 不过，他发现，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜非常清楚地知道和明白，阿拉拉娅对他来说意味着什么，只不过她不说罢了。开始的时候，她有时撞上他正打算去叶潘钦家，他看到过这种时候她的脸上的表情。叶潘钦家离去后，她简直容光焕发。无论他多么不在意和不多心，但有一个想法却使他不得安宁：为了把阿格拉娅逼走帕夫洛夫斯克，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜是下决心要大闹一场的。有关婚礼的流言传遍了所有的别墅，闹得满城风雨，当然，这多少是得到纳斯塔西娅、·费利帕夫娜的支持的。这是为了刺激对方。因为很少遇到叶潘钦一家，因此有一天纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜让公爵坐在她的马车上，吩咐从叶潘钦家别墅的窗前驶过，对公爵来说这是可怕的意外；照例，等他恍然大悟时，事情已经无法挽回，马车已经驶过了窗前。他什么话也没有说，但这以后连续病了两天；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜已经不敢再重复做这样的试验。婚礼前最后几天她变得思虑重重；以往她最终总是战胜自己的忧愁，重又变得快活起来，但这次不知怎么比较平静，不怎么闹腾，也不像还是不久前的过去那样幸福快活。公爵加倍注意起她来，使他觉得好奇的是，她从来不跟他谈起罗戈任。只是有一次，那是婚礼前五天左右，达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜突然差人来说，让他马上去，因为纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜情况很糟糕，他发现她像是处于完全神经失常的状态：她大叫大嚷，浑身打颤，高喊着，罗戈行躲在花园里，就在他们家里，说什么她刚才看见他了，还说夜里他要杀死她……要宰了她！整整一天她都不能镇静下来。但就在那天晚上，公爵到伊波利特那儿去了一会，去城里办什么事刚回来的大尉夫人说，今天在彼得堡罗戈任去她家找过她，打听帕夫洛夫斯克的情况。公爵问罗戈任究竟是什么时候去的，大尉夫人讲的时间正是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜说的今天在花园里仿佛看见他的时辰。事情只能解释为纯粹是幻觉；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜自己去大尉夫人那里比较详细地询问清楚，这才大大得到安慰。 婚礼前夕公爵离开纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜时，她正处于极大的振奋之中：从彼得堡女时装师那里送来了明天穿的服饰：婚礼裙，帽子等等。公爵没有料到，她对这些服饰竟会如此激动；他自己则对所有的衣物都赞美一通，他的赞美更使她感到幸福。但是她说漏了嘴：她已经听说了，城里一片忿忿之声，而且某些浪荡公子确实在策划起哄喧闹，还有音乐，大概还有特意为此创作的诗歌，而这一切几乎得到其余各界人士的赞同的。但她现在偏要在他们面前把头抬得更高些，她要用独具风采和富有豪华的服饰压倒所有的人，“如果他们敢，就让他们去喊吧，让他们去打唿哨吧！”一想到这一点她的双眼就闪闪发光，她还有一个隐藏在心里的愿望，但是她没有说出口。她希望，阿格拉娅或者起码是她派来的什么人不露身份地也将混在人群中、在教堂里瞧着并看见这一切，为此她暗自做着准备。她跟公爵分手的时候，脑子里尽是这些想法，那是在晚上１１点左右；但还没有敲响半夜的钟声，达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜派人来找公爵，让他“尽快去，情况非常糟糕”。公爵赶去时，未婚妻正锁在卧室里，绝望地痛哭流涕，大发歇斯底里；很长时间她什么话也听不清，不听别人隔着锁音的门对她说的话，后来她开了门，只放公爵一人进去；在他身后又锁上门，便跪倒在他面前。（至少达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜事后这样转述的，她得以偷看到一点当时的情景。） “我在干什么呀！我在干什么呀！我在对你干什么呀！”她大声呼号着，痉挛地抱住他的双腿。 公爵陪她一起坐了整整1小时；我不知道他们谈了些什么。达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜说，过了1小时他们平静和幸福地分了手。这天夜里公爵还再次派人来探询，但纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜已经睡着了。第二天早晨，她还没有醒，公爵又两次派人到达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜那儿去，第三个派去的人受托转告“纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜身边现在围着一大群从彼得堡来的时装师和理发师，昨天的样子已荡然无影无踪，现在她忙着，像她这么一个美人在婚礼前只能忙自己的服饰了，现在，正是此时，正在进行紧急商讨，究竟戴什么钻石首饰，怎么戴？”公爵这才完全放下心来。 有关这场婚礼后来的全部情况是知道内情的人讲的，以下所述好像是真实的。 婚礼议式定在晚上8点钟；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜７点钟时已准备就绪。６点钟起在列别杰夫别墅周围已陆陆续续聚拢起看热闹的人群，而在达里娅·阿烈克谢耶夫娜屋子旁边尤其如此；７点钟起教堂里也开始挤满了人。维拉·列别杰娃和科利亚为公爵极为担心骇怕；但是家里有许多事情要他们张罗：他们正安排着在公爵房间里接待和招待客人。不过，婚礼后估计几乎不会有什么聚会；除了一些婚礼时必须在场的人以外，列别杰夫还邀请了普季岑夫妇，加尼亚，脖子上挂安娜勋章的大夫，达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜。ω公爵好奇地问列别杰夫，为什么他想出来邀请“几乎完全不熟识的”大夫，后者自鸣得意地回答说：“他脖子上挂着勋章，是个受人尊敬的人，为了装装门面，”使得公爵大笑一阵。凯勒尔和布尔多夫斯基身穿燕尾服，戴着手套，看起来体面得很；只是凯勒尔仍然有点使公爵和信赖他的人感到尴尬，因为他虽然表现出准备斗殴的架势，非常敌意地望着聚在家门口看热闹的人群。终于，在７点半时公爵坐在马车出发去教堂，顺便我想指出，他自己故意不想放过任何一种习俗和惯例；一切都是堂而皇之、众目昭著、不加掩饰地“照章办事”。在教堂里，凯勒尔向左右两边投去威严的目光，引领着公爵在公众不停地窃窃私语和连连感叹声中好不容易穿过人群，使公爵得以暂时躲进祭坛，而凯勒尔去接新娘；在达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜屋子的台阶旁他发现人群不仅要比公爵家门口聚集的多二三倍，而且他们的放肆程度也许也是那里的三倍。登上台阶的时候，他也听到了喊叫声，以致无法容忍，完全已经打算对公众说些应说的话，但幸亏布尔多夫斯基和从台阶上跑下来的达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜自己制止了他；他们挟着他，好不容易才把他带进房间里。凯勒尔很是恼人并急着要走。纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜站起身，再次照了下镜子，据后来凯勒尔转述，她带着苦笑说，她的脸“像死人一样苍白”，接着虔诚地朝圣像行了礼，便走到外面台阶上。喧闹的人声欢迎她的出现，确实，最初一瞬间曾听到笑声，掌声，甚至哨声；但过了这一瞬间便响起了别的声音： “好一个美人！”人群中有人喊道。 “她不是第一个，也不是最后一个！” “一切都被花冠掩盖起来了，傻瓜！” “不，您要是找得到这样的绝色美人，乌拉！”靠近的一些人嚷着。 “公爵夫人！为这样的公爵夫人我愿意出卖灵魂！”一个办公室小职员喊了起来，“我愿用生命的代价来买一夜的欢爱！……” 纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜走出来时确实脸色白如绢帕；但是她那双又黑又大的眼睛犹如两颗烧红的炭粒向人群闪闪发光；人们受不了这样的目光；气忿变成了狂呼，马车上的小门已经打开，凯勒尔已经把手递给新娘，突然她惊呼一声，从台阶上直扑人群。所有送她的人都惊得呆若木鸡，人群在她面前向两旁分开，在离台阶五六步远处突然出现了罗戈任，纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜在人群中捕捉到的正是他的目光。她像疯子似的跑到他面前，抓住他的双手。 “救救我：带我走！随你去哪儿，马上就走！” 罗戈任扶着她，几乎把她抱了起来，差不多一直送到马车旁。接着，一眨眼，他从钱包里掏出１００卢布的票子，递给了马车夫。 “上火车站，要是赶上了车，再加１００！” 说着，跟在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜后面他自己也跳上了马车，关上了门。马车夫一刻也不犹豫就在马身上抽了一鞭。事后凯勒尔推托事情发生得太意外：“要是再有１秒钟，我就会想出办法，我就不许他们走的！”他叙述这件意外事时解释说。本来他与布尔多夫斯基逮住一辆凑巧也在那里的另一辆马车，赶着追了一阵，但是已经是在途中了，他又改变了主意，认为“无论如何是迟了！强拉也拉不回来！” “再说公爵也不愿那样做！”十分震惊的布尔多夫斯基断然说。 而罗戈任与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜及时驶抵车站。罗戈任走出马车，几乎就在上火车前，还未来得及拦住一个过路的姑娘，她穿着一件很体面的深色的旧斗蓬，头上扎着一条丝绸头巾。 “我愿用５０卢布买您的斗逢！”他突然把钱递给姑娘。她刚来得及惊讶，刚准备弄明白是怎么回事，他已经把５０卢布塞进她的手里，并脱下她的斗蓬和头巾，一古脑儿披到纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的肩上和头上。她那华丽的服饰太惹人注目，在火车上会吸引别人的注意，直到后来姑娘才明白，为什么要出这样的高价向她买这件不值一钱的旧斗逢。 这件意外事以异常快的速度沸沸扬扬传到了教堂。当凯勒尔走到公爵眼前，许多他完全不认识的人立即过来问询。议论声顿时鹊起，人们摇头，甚至嘲笑，谁也没有走出教堂，都等着看新郎怎么对待这一消息。公爵脸色刷白，但很平静地接受了这一消息，他说：“我担心过，但是我终究没有想到会有这样的事……”后来，沉默了一会以后，他又补了一句：“不过……处于她这种状态……这完全是理所当然的。”后来凯勒尔自己也把这种反应称为“绝无仅有的哲学”。公爵从教堂出来时显然很平静，也很精神；至少许多人注意到是这样，后来也是这么说的。好像他很想回到家，尽快一个人呆着；但是却没有让他这样。破槽来的宾客中有些人跟着他走进了房间，其中有普季岑，加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇以及与他们在一起的也认为不该走开的大夫。此外，整幢屋子简直围满了闲人。还是从露台上公爵就听到凯勒尔和列别杰夫与几个完全不认识的人在剧烈争吵，哪几个人看样子是些小官吏，他们说什么也想进来到露台上。公爵走到争吵的人们那里，了解究竟是怎么一回事，客气地让凯勒尔和列别杰夫回避。几个想进来的人中为首的一个站在台阶上，他已经鬓鬓斑白；但身体结实。公爵彬彬有礼地转向这位先生，邀请他赏脸光临。这位先生倒不好意思起来，但还是朝里走了，跟在他后面第二个，第三个。整个人群中有七八个拜访者，他们走了进来，竭力想尽可能显得随便些；但是没有更多的自告奋勇者，而且不久人群中就开始谴责这些好出头露面的人。公爵请进来的人坐下，便开始交谈，有人送上了茶水，这一切做得非常有礼貌，谦恭温雅，颇使进来者感到惊讶。当然，曾经有几次尝试想使谈话活泼起来，并引到“应该说”的话题上去；也曾提了一些不客气的问题，发表了几点“不怀好意的”意见。公爵回答大家既殷切随便，同时又不失尊严，也表示相信自己的客人规矩正派，因而不客气的问题自然而然地下再提了，渐渐地谈话开始变得一本正经起来。一位先生老是说话，突然异常愤慨地发言说，无论发生什么情况，他都不会把庄园卖了；相反，他要等待并要等出头，他认为“家业胜了金钱”；“亲爱的阁下，这就是我的经济体制，您可以记住。”因为他是对公爵说话，所以公爵不愿列别杰夫在他耳语说这位先生上无片瓦下无寸土、从来也没有什么庄园，还是热情地赞扬了他。过了１小时，茶也喝完了，客人们终于觉得不好意思继续坐下去。”大夫和头鬓斑白的先生热情地与公爵告别；所有的人都热情喧闹地道了别。他们表示了祝愿的意见；类如“没什么好痛苦的，也许，这反而会变好”等等。确实，也有人企图要香槟酒喝的，但年长的客人制止了年轻人。当大家都散去后，凯勒尔俯身对列别杰夫说：“我和你会弄出喊叫吵闹、斗殴出丑，引来警察；而他，瞧，倒给自己找到了新朋友，且是些什么样的人哟，我知道他们！”列别杰夫已经相当“醉了”，叹了口气说：“他对聪明明智的人隐瞒真情，对天真幼稚的人坦露胸怀，还在以前我就说过他这一点了。但现在我要补充说，上帝保佑了他这个天真幼稚的人本人，把他从深渊里救了出来，是上帝和众圣人救了他！” 终于，将近１０点半了，才留下公爵一个人，他觉得头痛；科利亚最迟离开，他帮公爵换下结婚礼服穿上家常便服。他们热情地分了手。科利亚没有多说所发生的事件，但答应明天早点来，后来他证明，在最后一次告别时公爵没有预示他什么，看来，甚至对他也隐瞒了自己的意图。很快整幢屋子里几乎谁也没有留下：布尔多夫斯基去伊波利特那儿，凯勒尔和列别杰夫也不知道去了哪儿。只有维拉·列别杰娃还在公爵的几个房屋里耽了些时候，匆匆把房间里结婚喜庆的布置除去，换成平常的样子。离开的时候她去看了一下公爵。他坐在桌子旁，双时撑在桌上，双手捧着脑袋。她悄悄地走到他眼前，碰了一下他的肩膀；公爵困感地望了她一下，几乎用了１分钟时间仿佛回想什么；但是等他想起并弄清一切后，一下子又异常激动起来。不过，最后他向维拉提了个急切而不同寻常的请求，要她第二天早晨７点钟敲他房间的门，以便去赶第一班火车。维拉答应了；公爵又开始热烈地请求她别将此事告诉任何人；她也答应了这一点，最后，维拉已经完全打开了门准备离去时，公爵第三次叫住了她，拿起她的手吻了吻，接着又吻了吻她的前额，并以一种“不同平常”的神态对她说：“明天见！”至少后来维拉是这样转告的。她走开时为他感到极大的担忧骇怕。第二天早晨按约走时间７点钟，她稍微振作精神，敲了他的门，并告诉他去彼得堡的火车过１刻钟开；她觉得，他为她开门时精神饱满，甚至还脸带微笑。夜里他几乎没有脱衣服，但是睡了。照他说的，他今天会回来。看来，结果是，他认为此刻只能也只需告诉她一人，他是去城里。

Part 4 Chapter 9 A FORTNIGHT had passed since the events recorded in the last chapter, and the position of the actors in our story had become so changed that it is almost impossible for us to continue the tale without some few explanations. Yet we feel that we ought to limit ourselves to the simple record of facts, without much attempt at explanation, for a very patent reason: because we ourselves have the greatest possible difficulty in accounting for the facts to be recorded. Such a statement on our part may appear strange to the reader. How is anyone to tell a story which he cannot understand himself? In order to keep clear of a false position, we had perhaps better give an example of what we mean; and probably the intelligent reader will soon understand the difficulty. More especially are we inclined to take this course since the example will constitute a distinct march forward of our story, and will not hinder the progress of the events remaining to be recorded. During the next fortnight--that is, through the early part of July--the history of our hero was circulated in the form of strange, diverting, most unlikely-sounding stories, which passed from mouth to mouth, through the streets and villas adjoining those inhabited by Lebedeff, Ptitsin, Nastasia Philipovna and the Epanchins; in fact, pretty well through the whole town and its environs. All society--both the inhabitants of the place and those who came down of an evening for the music--had got hold of one and the same story, in a thousand varieties of detail--as to how a certain young prince had raised a terrible scandal in a most respectable household, had thrown over a daughter of the family, to whom he was engaged, and had been captured by a woman of shady reputation whom he was determined to marry at once-- breaking off all old ties for the satisfaction of his insane idea; and, in spite of the public indignation roused by his action, the marriage was to take place in Pavlofsk openly and publicly, and the prince had announced his intention of going through with it with head erect and looking the whole world in the face. The story was so artfully adorned with scandalous details, and persons of so great eminence and importance were apparently mixed up in it, while, at the same time, the evidence was so circumstantial, that it was no wonder the matter gave food for plenty of curiosity and gossip. According to the reports of the most talented gossip-mongers-- those who, in every class of society, are always in haste to explain every event to their neighbours--the young gentleman concerned was of good family--a prince--fairly rich--weak of intellect, but a democrat and a dabbler in the Nihilism of the period, as exposed by Mr. Turgenieff. He could hardly talk Russian, but had fallen in love with one of the Miss Epanchins, and his suit met with so much encouragement that he had been received in the house as the recognized bridegroom-to-be of the young lady. But like the Frenchman of whom the story is told that he studied for holy orders, took all the oaths, was ordained priest, and next morning wrote to his bishop informing him that, as he did not believe in God and considered it wrong to deceive the people and live upon their pockets, he begged to surrender the orders conferred upon him the day before, and to inform his lordship that he was sending this letter to the public press,-- like this Frenchman, the prince played a false game. It was rumoured that he had purposely waited for the solemn occasion of a large evening party at the house of his future bride, at which he was introduced to several eminent persons, in order publicly to make known his ideas and opinions, and thereby insult the "big-wigs," and to throw over his bride as offensively as possible; and that, resisting the servants who were told off to turn him out of the house, he had seized and thrown down a magnificent china vase. As a characteristic addition to the above, it was currently reported that the young prince really loved the lady to whom he was engaged, and had thrown her over out of purely Nihilistic motives, with the intention of giving himself the satisfaction of marrying a fallen woman in the face of all the world, thereby publishing his opinion that there is no distinction between virtuous and disreputable women, but that all women are alike, free; and a "fallen" woman, indeed, somewhat superior to a virtuous one. It was declared that he believed in no classes or anything else, excepting "the woman question." All this looked likely enough, and was accepted as fact by most of the inhabitants of the place, especially as it was borne out, more or less, by daily occurrences. Of course much was said that could not be determined absolutely. For instance, it was reported that the poor girl had so loved her future husband that she had followed him to the house of the other woman, the day after she had been thrown over; others said that he had insisted on her coming, himself, in order to shame and insult her by his taunts and Nihilistic confessions when she reached the house. However all these things might be, the public interest in the matter grew daily, especially as it became clear that the scandalous wedding was undoubtedly to take place. So that if our readers were to ask an explanation, not of the wild reports about the prince's Nihilistic opinions, but simply as to how such a marriage could possibly satisfy his real aspirations, or as to the spiritual condition of our hero at this time, we confess that we should have great difficulty in giving the required information. All we know is, that the marriage really was arranged, and that the prince had commissioned Lebedeff and Keller to look after all the necessary business connected with it; that he had requested them to spare no expense; that Nastasia herself was hurrying on the wedding; that Keller was to be the prince's best man, at his own earnest request; and that Burdovsky was to give Nastasia away, to his great delight. The wedding was to take place before the middle of July. But, besides the above, we are cognizant of certain other undoubted facts, which puzzle us a good deal because they seem flatly to contradict the foregoing. We suspect, for instance, that having commissioned Lebedeff and the others, as above, the prince immediately forgot all about masters of ceremonies and even the ceremony itself; and we feel quite certain that in making these arrangements he did so in order that he might absolutely escape all thought of the wedding, and even forget its approach if he could, by detailing all business concerning it to others. What did he think of all this time, then? What did he wish for? There is no doubt that he was a perfectly free agent all through, and that as far as Nastasia was concerned, there was no force of any kind brought to bear on him. Nastasia wished for a speedy marriage, true!--but the prince agreed at once to her proposals; he agreed, in fact, so casually that anyone might suppose he was but acceding to the most simple and ordinary suggestion. There are many strange circumstances such as this before us; but in our opinion they do but deepen the mystery, and do not in the smallest degree help us to understand the case. However, let us take one more example. Thus, we know for a fact that during the whole of this fortnight the prince spent all his days and evenings with Nastasia; he walked with her, drove with her; he began to be restless whenever he passed an hour without seeing her--in fact, to all appearances, he sincerely loved her. He would listen to her for hours at a time with a quiet smile on his face, scarcely saying a word himself. And yet we know, equally certainly, that during this period he several times set off, suddenly, to the Epanchins', not concealing the fact from Nastasia Philipovna, and driving the latter to absolute despair. We know also that he was not received at the Epanchins' so long as they remained at Pavlofsk, and that he was not allowed an interview with Aglaya;--but next day he would set off once more on the same errand, apparently quite oblivious of the fact of yesterday's visit having been a failure,--and, of course, meeting with another refusal. We know, too, that exactly an hour after Aglaya had fled from Nastasia Philipovna's house on that fateful evening, the prince was at the Epanchins',--and that his appearance there had been the cause of the greatest consternation and dismay; for Aglaya had not been home, and the family only discovered then, for the first time, that the two of them had been to Nastasia's house together. It was said that Elizabetha Prokofievna and her daughters had there and then denounced the prince in the strongest terms, and had refused any further acquaintance and friendship with him; their rage and denunciations being redoubled when Varia Ardalionovna suddenly arrived and stated that Aglaya had been at her house in a terrible state of mind for the last hour, and that she refused to come home. This last item of news, which disturbed Lizabetha Prokofievna more than anything else, was perfectly true. On leaving Nastasia's, Aglaya had felt that she would rather die than face her people, and had therefore gone straight to Nina Alexandrovna's. On receiving the news, Lizabetha and her daughters and the general all rushed off to Aglaya, followed by Prince Lef Nicolaievitch--undeterred by his recent dismissal; but through Varia he was refused a sight of Aglaya here also. The end of the episode was that when Aglaya saw her mother and sisters crying over her and not uttering a word of reproach, she had flung herself into their arms and gone straight home with them. It was said that Gania managed to make a fool of himself even on this occasion; for, finding himself alone with Aglaya for a minute or two when Varia had gone to the Epanchins', he had thought it a fitting opportunity to make a declaration of his love, and on hearing this Aglaya, in spite of her state of mind at the time, had suddenly burst out laughing, and had put a strange question to him. She asked him whether he would consent to hold his finger to a lighted candle in proof of his devotion! Gania--it was said--looked so comically bewildered that Aglaya had almost laughed herself into hysterics, and had rushed out of the room and upstairs,--where her parents had found her. Hippolyte told the prince this last story, sending for him on purpose. When Muishkin heard about the candle and Gania's finger he had laughed so that he had quite astonished Hippolyte,--and then shuddered and burst into tears. The prince's condition during those days was strange and perturbed. Hippolyte plainly declared that he thought he was out of his mind;--this, however, was hardly to be relied upon. Offering all these facts to our readers and refusing to explain them, we do not for a moment desire to justify our hero's conduct. On the contrary, we are quite prepared to feel our share of the indignation which his behaviour aroused in the hearts of his friends. Even Vera Lebedeff was angry with him for a while; so was Colia; so was Keller, until he was selected for best man; so was Lebedeff himself,--who began to intrigue against him out of pure irritation;--but of this anon. In fact we are in full accord with certain forcible words spoken to the prince by Evgenie Pavlovitch, quite unceremoniously, during the course of a friendly conversation, six or seven days after the events at Nastasia Philipovna's house. We may remark here that not only the Epanchins themselves, but all who had anything to do with them, thought it right to break with the prince in consequence of his conduct. Prince S. even went so far as to turn away and cut him dead in the street. But Evgenie Pavlovitch was not afraid to compromise himself by paying the prince a visit, and did so, in spite of the fact that he had recommenced to visit at the Epanchins', where he was received with redoubled hospitality and kindness after the temporary estrangement. Evgenie called upon the prince the day after that on which the Epanchins left Pavlofsk. He knew of all the current rumours,--in fact, he had probably contributed to them himself. The prince was delighted to see him, and immediately began to speak of the Epanchins;--which simple and straightforward opening quite took Evgenie's fancy, so that he melted at once, and plunged in medias res without ceremony. The prince did not know, up to this, that the Epanchins had left the place. He grew very pale on hearing the news; but a moment later he nodded his head, and said thoughtfully: "I knew it was bound to be so." Then he added quickly: "Where have they gone to?" Evgenie meanwhile observed him attentively, and the rapidity of the questions, their, simplicity, the prince's candour, and at the same time, his evident perplexity and mental agitation, surprised him considerably. However, he told Muishkin all he could, kindly and in detail. The prince hardly knew anything, for this was the first informant from the household whom he had met since the estrangement. Evgenie reported that Aglaya had been really ill, and that for two nights she had not slept at all, owing to high fever; that now she was better and out of serious danger, but still in a nervous, hysterical state. "It's a good thing that there is peace in the house, at all events," he continued. "They never utter a hint about the past, not only in Aglaya's presence, but even among themselves. The old people are talking of a trip abroad in the autumn, immediately after Adelaida's wedding; Aglaya received the news in silence." Evgenie himself was very likely going abroad also; so were Prince S. and his wife, if affairs allowed of it; the general was to stay at home. They were all at their estate of Colmina now, about twenty miles or so from St. Petersburg. Princess Bielokonski had not returned to Moscow yet, and was apparently staying on for reasons of her own. Lizabetha Prokofievna had insisted that it was quite impossible to remain in Pavlofsk after what had happened. Evgenie had told her of all the rumours current in town about the affair; so that there could be no talk of their going to their house on the Yelagin as yet. "And in point of fact, prince," added Evgenie Pavlovitch, "you must allow that they could hardly have stayed here, considering that they knew of all that went on at your place, and in the face of your daily visits to their house, visits which you insisted upon making in spite of their refusal to see you." "Yes--yes, quite so; you are quite right. I wished to see Aglaya Ivanovna, you know!" said the prince, nodding his head. "Oh, my dear fellow," cried Evgenie, warmly, with real sorrow in his voice, "how could you permit all that to come about as it has? Of course, of course, I know it was all so unexpected. I admit that you, only naturally, lost your head, and--and could not stop the foolish girl; that was not in your power. I quite see so much; but you really should have understood how seriously she cared for you. She could not bear to share you with another; and you could bring yourself to throw away and shatter such a treasure! Oh, prince, prince!" "Yes, yes, you are quite right again," said the poor prince, in anguish of mind. "I was wrong, I know. But it was only Aglaya who looked on Nastasia Philipovna so; no one else did, you know." "But that's just the worst of it all, don't you see, that there was absolutely nothing serious about the matter in reality!" cried Evgenie, beside himself: "Excuse me, prince, but I have thought over all this; I have thought a great deal over it; I know all that had happened before; I know all that took place six months since; and I know there was NOTHING serious about the matter, it was but fancy, smoke, fantasy, distorted by agitation, and only the alarmed jealousy of an absolutely inexperienced girl could possibly have mistaken it for serious reality." Here Evgenie Pavlovitch quite let himself go, and gave the reins to his indignation. Clearly and reasonably, and with great psychological insight, he drew a picture of the prince's past relations with Nastasia Philipovna. Evgenie Pavlovitch always had a ready tongue, but on this occasion his eloquence, surprised himself. "From the very beginning," he said, "you began with a lie; what began with a lie was bound to end with a lie; such is the law of nature. I do not agree, in fact I am angry, when I hear you called an idiot; you are far too intelligent to deserve such an epithet; but you are so far STRANGE as to be unlike others; that you must allow, yourself. Now, I have come to the conclusion that the basis of all that has happened, has been first of all your innate inexperience (remark the expression 'innate,' prince). Then follows your unheard-of simplicity of heart; then comes your absolute want of sense of proportion (to this want you have several times confessed); and lastly, a mass, an accumulation, of intellectual convictions which you, in your unexampled honesty of soul, accept unquestionably as also innate and natural and true. Admit, prince, that in your relations with Nastasia Philipovna there has existed, from the very first, something democratic, and the fascination, so to speak, of the 'woman question'? I know all about that scandalous scene at Nastasia Philipovna's house when Rogojin brought the money, six months ago. I'll show you yourself as in a looking-glass, if you like. I know exactly all that went on, in every detail, and why things have turned out as they have. You thirsted, while in Switzerland, for your home-country, for Russia; you read, doubtless, many books about Russia, excellent books, I dare say, but hurtful to YOU; and you arrived here; as it were, on fire with the longing to be of service. Then, on the very day of your arrival, they tell you a sad story of an ill- used woman; they tell YOU, a knight, pure and without reproach, this tale of a poor woman! The same day you actually SEE her; you are attracted by her beauty, her fantastic, almost demoniacal, beauty--(I admit her beauty, of course). "Add to all this your nervous nature, your epilepsy, and your sudden arrival in a strange town--the day of meetings and of exciting scenes, the day of unexpected acquaintanceships, the day of sudden actions, the day of meeting with the three lovely Epanchin girls, and among them Aglaya--add your fatigue, your excitement; add Nastasia' s evening party, and the tone of that party, and--what were you to expect of yourself at such a moment as that?" "Yes, yes, yes!" said the prince, once more, nodding his head, and blushing slightly. "Yes, it was so, or nearly so--I know it. And besides, you see, I had not slept the night before, in the train, or the night before that, either, and I was very tired." "Of course, of course, quite so; that's what I am driving at!" continued Evgenie, excitedly. "It is as clear as possible, and most comprehensible, that you, in your enthusiasm, should plunge headlong into the first chance that came of publicly airing your great idea that you, a prince, and a pure-living man, did not consider a woman disgraced if the sin were not her own, but that of a disgusting social libertine! Oh, heavens! it's comprehensible enough, my dear prince, but that is not the question, unfortunately! The question is, was there any reality and truth in your feelings? Was it nature, or nothing but intellectual enthusiasm? What do you think yourself? We are told, of course, that a far worse woman was FORGIVEN, but we don't find that she was told that she had done well, or that she was worthy of honour and respect! Did not your common-sense show you what was the real state of the case, a few months later? The question is now, not whether she is an innocent woman (I do not insist one way or the other--I do not wish to); but can her whole career justify such intolerable pride, such insolent, rapacious egotism as she has shown? Forgive me, I am too violent, perhaps, but--" "Yes--I dare say it is all as you say; I dare say you are quite right," muttered the prince once more. "She is very sensitive and easily put out, of course; but still, she..." "She is worthy of sympathy? Is that what you wished to say, my good fellow? But then, for the mere sake of vindicating her worthiness of sympathy, you should not have insulted and offended a noble and generous girl in her presence! This is a terrible exaggeration of sympathy! How can you love a girl, and yet so humiliate her as to throw her over for the sake of another woman, before the very eyes of that other woman, when you have already made her a formal proposal of marriage? And you DID propose to her, you know; you did so before her parents and sisters. Can you be an honest man, prince, if you act so? I ask you! And did you not deceive that beautiful girl when you assured her of your love?" "Yes, you are quite right. Oh! I feel that I am very guilty!" said Muishkin, in deepest distress. "But as if that is enough!" cried Evgenie, indignantly. "As if it is enough simply to say: 'I know I am very guilty!' You are to blame, and yet you persevere in evil-doing. Where was your heart, I should like to know, your CHRISTIAN HEART, all that time? Did she look as though she were suffering less, at that moment? You saw her face--was she suffering less than the other woman? How could you see her suffering and allow it to continue? How could you?" "But I did not allow it," murmured the wretched prince. "How--what do you mean you didn't allow?" "Upon my word, I didn't! To this moment I don't know how it all happened. I--I ran after Aglaya Ivanovna, but Nastasia Philipovna fell down in a faint; and since that day they won't let me see Aglaya--that's all I know." "It's all the same; you ought to have run after Aglaya though the other was fainting." "Yes, yes, I ought--but I couldn't! She would have died--she would have killed herself. You don't know her; and I should have told Aglaya everything afterwards--but I see, Evgenie Pavlovitch, you don't know all. Tell me now, why am I not allowed to see Aglaya? I should have cleared it all up, you know. Neither of them kept to the real point, you see. I could never explain what I mean to you, but I think I could to Aglaya. Oh! my God, my God! You spoke just now of Aglaya's face at the moment when she ran away. Oh, my God! I remember it! Come along, come along-- quick!" He pulled at Evgenie's coat-sleeve nervously and excitedly, and rose from his chair. "Where to?" "Come to Aglaya--quick, quick!" "But I told you she is not at Pavlofsk. And what would be the use if she were?" "Oh, she'll understand, she'll understand!" cried the prince, clasping his hands. "She would understand that all this is not the point--not a bit the real point--it is quite foreign to the real question." "How can it be foreign? You ARE going to be married, are you not? Very well, then you are persisting in your course. ARE you going to marry her or not?" "Yes, I shall marry her--yes." "Then why is it 'not the point'?" "Oh, no, it is not the point, not a bit. It makes no difference, my marrying her--it means nothing." "How 'means nothing'? You are talking nonsense, my friend. You are marrying the woman you love in order to secure her happiness, and Aglaya sees and knows it. How can you say that it's 'not the point'?" "Her happiness? Oh, no! I am only marrying her--well, because she wished it. It means nothing--it's all the same. She would certainly have died. I see now that that marriage with Rogojin was an insane idea. I understand all now that I did not understand before; and, do you know, when those two stood opposite to one another, I could not bear Nastasia Philipovna's face! You must know, Evgenie Pavlovitch, I have never told anyone before--not even Aglaya--that I cannot bear Nastasia Philipovna's face." (He lowered his voice mysteriously as he said this.) You described that evening at Nastasia Philipovna's (six months since) very accurately just now; but there is one thing which you did not mention, and of which you took no account, because you do not know. I mean her FACE--I looked at her face, you see. Even in the morning when I saw her portrait, I felt that I could not BEAR to look at it. Now, there's Vera Lebedeff, for instance, her eyes are quite different, you know. I'm AFRAID of her face!" he added, with real alarm. "You are AFRAID of it?" "Yes--she's mad!" he whispered, growing pale. "Do you know this for certain?" asked Evgenie, with the greatest curiosity. "Yes, for certain--quite for certain, now! I have discovered it ABSOLUTELY for certain, these last few days." "What are you doing, then?" cried Evgenie, in horror. "You must be marrying her solely out of FEAR, then! I can't make head or tail of it, prince. Perhaps you don't even love her?" "Oh, no; I love her with all my soul. Why, she is a child! She's a child now--a real child. Oh! you know nothing about it at all, I see." "And are you assured, at the same time, that you love Aglaya too?" "Yes--yes--oh; yes!" "How so? Do you want to make out that you love them BOTH?" "Yes--yes--both! I do!" "Excuse me, prince, but think what you are saying! Recollect yourself!" "Without Aglaya--I--I MUST see Aglaya!--I shall die in my sleep very soon--I thought I was dying in my sleep last night. Oh! if Aglaya only knew all--I mean really, REALLY all! Because she must know ALL--that's the first condition towards understanding. Why cannot we ever know all about another, especially when that other has been guilty? But I don't know what I'm talking about--I'm so confused. You pained me so dreadfully. Surely--surely Aglaya has not the same expression now as she had at the moment when she ran away? Oh, yes! I am guilty and I know it--I know it! Probably I am in fault all round--I don't quite know how--but I am in fault, no doubt. There is something else, but I cannot explain it to you, Evgenie Pavlovitch. I have no words; but Aglaya will understand. I have always believed Aglaya will understand--I am assured she will." "No, prince, she will not. Aglaya loved like a woman, like a human being, not like an abstract spirit. Do you know what, my poor prince? The most probable explanation of the matter is that you never loved either the one or the other in reality." "I don't know--perhaps you are right in much that you have said, Evgenie Pavlovitch. You are very wise, Evgenie Pavlovitch--oh! how my head is beginning to ache again! Come to her, quick--for God's sake, come!" "But I tell you she is not in Pavlofsk! She's in Colmina." "Oh, come to Colmina, then! Come--let us go at once!" "No--no, impossible!" said Evgenie, rising. "Look here--I'll write a letter--take a letter for me!" "No--no, prince; you must forgive me, but I can't undertake any such commissions! I really can't." And so they parted. Evgenie Pavlovitch left the house with strange convictions. He, too, felt that the prince must be out of his mind. "And what did he mean by that FACE--a face which he so fears, and yet so loves? And meanwhile he really may die, as he says, without seeing Aglaya, and she will never know how devotedly he loves her! Ha, ha, ha! How does the fellow manage to love two of them? Two different kinds of love, I suppose! This is very interesting--poor idiot! What on earth will become of him now?" 在前面一章所叙述的事件发生后过了两个星期，我们故事里人物的状况有了很大的变化，因此不做些特别的解释，我们是很难继续下去的。但是我觉得，应该限于最简单地阐明事实，尽可能不做别的解释，原因也很简单：因为有许多情况笔者自己也难以解释清楚所发生的事情。我做这种事先声明必然使读者觉得相当奇怪和不明白：怎能叙述既无明确概念又无个人意见的事情呢？为了不致使自己处于更为尴尬的境地，最好还是举例加以说明，也许，厚意的读者会理解我为难在什么地方，再说这个例子不是插话，相反是故事的真正和直接的继续。 过了两个星期，也就是已经到了７月初。在这两个星期中我们主人公的故事，特别是这个故事最近发生的变故，变成了一件奇怪的、相当逗人的、几乎是难以置信的、同时又引人瞩目的轶闻，渐渐地沿着与列别杰夫、普季岑、达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜、叶潘钦家邻近的所有街道传播开来，简言之，几乎全城甚至郊区都在流传，差不多整个社会——本地居民，别墅客，来听音乐的人——全部谈论着同一个故事的各种不同的说法，说什么有一位公爵在一家有名的受尊敬的人家出了丑，抛弃了已经是他未婚妻的这家人家的小姐，迷恋了一个有名的风流女子，断绝了一切过去的关系，并且不顾一切，不顾威吓，不顾众人的忿怒，打算日内跟这个被玷辱了的女人结婚，就在帕夫洛夫斯克这里当众公开举行婚礼，而且要昂起头，直面众人，这件轶事渐渐被添加了许多丑闻，其中涉及到许多有名的要人，还使其赋有各种荒诞离奇和神秘莫恻的色彩，而从另一方面来说，这一轶事又以许多无可辩驳的一目了然的事实呈现在人们面前，因而大家的好奇心和流言蜚语当然是非常情有可原的。最精细、巧妙同时又近乎情理的说法归于几位颇有身份的流言专家，他们属于有理智的阶层，在每个社交界总是急于最先向别人解释清楚事件的来龙去脉，将此看做是自己使命，还往往觉得是一种乐趣。照他们的说法，一位有着高贵姓氏的年青公爵，几乎是位富翁，痴呆者，但是个民主派，还倾心于屠格涅夫先生揭露的现代虚无主义，几乎不大会说俄语，爱上了叶潘钦将军的女儿并且到了将军家把他看做未婚夫这一步。报上则刊登了一则关于一个法国教会学校学生的轶事。这个学生故意做出献身当神父的举动，故意自己请求授予这一神职，履行了全套仪式，各种各样的崇敬、敬吻、宣誓等等，却是为了在第二天致函自己的主教公开宣称他不信上帝，认为欺骗人民和白白由人民来供养是可耻的，因而他要辞去昨天的圣职，要把自己的信函刊登在自由派的报纸上，公爵就像这个无神论者一样仿佛玩弄了这一类假把戏，他们说，仿佛他故意等待未婚妻的父母召集一个隆重的晚会，把他介绍给许多要人，以便当众大声宣布自己的思维方式，咒骂受人尊敬的达官贵人，当众侮辱性地拒绝自己的未婚妻，并且在抗拒要将他带出去的仆人时打碎了一只漂亮的中国花瓶。他们还以详述当代风尚的形式对此事补充说，头脑不清的年轻人确实是爱自己未婚妻即将军的女儿的，但却拒绝了她，唯一的原因是虚无主义和为了制造未来的丑闻，他这样做是为了不放弃当着整个上流社会的面与一个堕落的女人结婚的乐趣，并以此证明，在他的信念里既没有堕落的女人也没有有道德的女人，有的只是自由的女人；他不相信上流社会和古老的区分女人的概念，他只相信“妇女问题”。说到底，在他眼里堕落的女人甚至还比不堕落的要高尚些。这种解释好像相当可信并为大多数别墅客所接受。何况每天发生的事实也证实了这一点。确实，许多事情是没有解释清楚的，据他们说，可怜的姑娘是那么爱她的未婚夫（照有些人的说法是“勾引者”），在他抛弃她的第二天便跑去找他，而他正坐在自己的情妇身边；另外有些人则要人们相信，相反，她是被他故意引到情妇那里去的，这纯粹是他的虚无主义作祟，也就是为了羞辱和侮弄姑娘，不论怎样，人们对事件的兴趣与日俱增，何况具有丑闻性质的婚礼确实即将举行，这一点已不存丝毫怀疑。 所以，假若要我解释清楚——当然不是关于事件的虚无主义色彩，而只不过是这样一些问题：拟定的婚礼在多大程度上满足了公爵的真实愿望？此刻这些愿望究竟是什么？眼下究竟如何确定我们主人公的心态？诸如此类等等，那么我承认，是非常难以回答的。我只知道一点，婚礼确实已经拟定了日期，公爵本人全权委托给列别杰夫，凯勒尔以及列别杰夫为此事介绍给公爵的某一个熟人，由他们承担起操办这件事的全部事务，无论是教会方面的还是日常方面的；还吩咐了不要舍不得花钱；婚礼是纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜催促和坚持要办的；凯勒尔被指定担任公爵的傧相，这是他自己强烈要求讨得的差使，而纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的傧相则是布尔多夫斯基，他欣喜地接受了使命；婚礼的日子确定在７月初。但是除了这些相当确切的情况外，我还知晓的某些事实完全地把我弄糊涂了，因为它们恰恰与前面所说的是相矛盾的。比如，我坚决怀疑，在全权委托列别杰夫和其他人承办一切事务之后，公爵几乎当天就忘了他有了婚礼总管，有了傧相，有了婚期；如果说他急于做出安排，把一切操办的事都交给别人，那么纯粹是为了使自己不去想这件事，也许，甚至是想尽快忘了这件事。在这种境况下他自己究竟在想什么？他想要记住什么，追求什么，同样没有怀疑的是，这件事上没有任何强加于他的因素（比如说来自纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜方面的压力）；纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜确实希望一定要尽快举行婚礼，而且也是她而不是公爵想出来要这样做；但是公爵爽快地答应了，甚至似乎漫不经心，仿佛向他请求做一件相当平常的事一样。我面前这样奇怪的事实很多，但是，这些事实不仅不能讲清楚，据我看，无论举出多少，反而会把阐明的真相槁糊涂了；但是，我还要再举一个例子。 我完全知道，在这两个星期中公爵白天晚上都和纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜呆在一起；她带他随自己去散步，去听音乐；他每天与她乘马车兜风；只要有１个小时没有见到她，公爵就开始牵挂她（从一切迹象来看，他是真心爱她的），无论她对他说什么，整整几小时他都带着安详温和的微笑听着，自己则几乎不说一句话。但是我也知道，在这些日子里有好几次，甚至许多次，他突然去叶潘钦家，也不向纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜隐瞒这一点，为此她几乎陷于绝望。我知道，叶潘钦家留在帕夫洛夫斯克期间没有接待他，要求与阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜会晤也总受到拒绝；他一声不吭地走了，而第二天又到她们家去，仿佛完全忘了昨天遭到拒绝的事，当然，得到的是新的拒绝。我也知道，在阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那儿跑出来后过了１小时，也许，甚至还不到１小时，公爵已经在叶潘钦家，当然，他深信能在那里找到阿格拉娅，于是他的到来引起了叶潘钦家的异常困惑和惊恐，因为阿格拉娅还没有回家，他们从公爵那里才第一次听说，她和他一起去了纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那儿。据说，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜、她的另两个女儿、甚至ω公爵当时对公爵的态度异常生硬、不友好，当时他们还措辞激烈地表示拒绝与他来往和交朋友，特别是瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔还利翁诺夫娜突然来见叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜并声称阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜已经在她家将近１小时之后；她还说，阿格拉娅目前的状态非常糟糕，看来，不想回家。这一个最新消息使叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜最为震惊，而且是完全真实的：从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那里出来后，阿格拉娅确实认为，与其是现在面对自己的家人，不如去死，因此才投奔尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜。瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜当即就认为有必要，一刻也不延缓地，把这一切情况通知叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。于是母亲及其另两位女儿马上起往尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜家，跟在她们后面的是一家之主、刚刚到家的伊万·费奥多罗维奇；列夫·尼古拉耶维奇不顾他们的驱逐和不客气的言辞，跟在他们后面慢慢走着；但是，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜吩附了，那里的人也没有放他去见阿格拉娅。不过，事情的结局是，阿格拉娅一看见为她伤心落泪并丝毫也不责怪她的母亲和姐姐，便扑到她们怀里，立即跟她们一起回家了。据说（虽然传闻不完全确切），加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇这一回也仍然极不走运，他抓住瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达到翁诺夫娜跑去见叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜的时机，单独与阿洛拉娅在一起，想要表白自己对她的爱情；阿格拉娅不顾自己的苦恼和流泪，听着他讲，突然哈哈大笑又突然向他提了奇怪的问题：为了证明自己的爱情，他现在是否敢在蜡烛上烧自己的手指？据说，加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇为这一提议惊呆了，竟然不知所措，脸上现出异常的困惑；致使阿格拉娅歇斯底里地冲她放声大笑、离开他跑到楼上尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜那里去，她的父母就在那里找到她的。这一轶闻是第二天由伊波利特传到公爵这儿的，已经不能起床的伊波利特特地派人去叫公爵并告诉他这条消息：这一传闻怎么传到伊波利特这儿的，我不知道，但是当公爵听到要在蜡烛上烧手指这一节时，便放声大笑起来，甚至使伊波利特也觉得惊讶，后来公爵又突然打起颤来，泪如雨下。总之，在这些日子里他惶惶不安，六神无主，浑浑沌沌，痛苦异常。伊波利特干脆断言，认为他神经不正常，但是无论如何还不能肯定这一点。 提供这些事实，又拒绝做出解释，我决不是想在读者面前为我们的主人公辩解。况且，我完全愿意分担他所激起的朋友对他的忿恨。甚至维拉·列别杰娃有一段时间对他也很忿恨，连科利亚也气不忿；还有凯勒尔也忿忿不平，直到挑选他当傧相；更不用说列别杰夫本人了，他甚至开始耍花招反对公爵。也是出于愤慨，而且是相当真诚的。但关于这些我以后再说。总之我完全同意和相当赞赏叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇所说的相当有力的，甚至是心理分析非常深刻的那些话。那是在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家的事情发生后的第六或第七天，他在与公爵的友好交谈中直截了当和不客气地说出来的。顺便要指出，不仅仅叶潘饮自己一家，还有所有与他家有直接或间接关系的人部认为必须跟公爵断绝一切关系，比方说ω公爵遇见公爵时甚至转过身去，不向他点头行礼。但是叶甫益尼·帕夫洛维奇不怕因拜访公爵而损害自己的名誉，也不顾每天又去叶潘钦家并受到必然特别殷勤好客的接待。他是在叶潘钦全家离开帕夫洛夫斯克的第二天到公爵那儿去的，进去时他已经知道外面传扬的种种流盲查语，甚至他自己也许也部分地起了椎波助澜的作用。公爵见到他高兴得不得了，马上就谈起了叶潘钦家的情况；这样朴实和直率的开端使叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇完全不受拘束，因此他无须转弯抹角，直截了当地谈正事。 公爵还不知道叶潘钦家已经离去；获悉消息后他很吃惊，脸也变苍白了；但是过了一会儿也就摇了播头，颇为困窘和若有所思地承认说，“这是必然的。”后来又很快探询着：“他们去哪里了？” 当时叶甫益尼·帕夫洛维奇用心观察了他，所有这一切。即急切而又质朴的提问，困窘同时又有一种奇怪的但率，惶惶不安和兴奋激动，——这一切都使他吃惊不小。不过，他还是亲切而详尽地告诉了公爵一切：公爵许多情况还不知道，因而叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇是来自叶潘钦家的第一位信使。他证实，阿格拉娅确实病了，而且整整三天三夜没有睡着，一直发烧，现在她好些了，已没有任何危险，但是处于神经质的、歇斯底里的状态……“幸好家里一片安宁”对于过去的事不仅当着阿格拉娅的面竭力不提，甚至其余人私下里也不谈及。父母已经彼此商定，等到秋天阿杰莱达结婚后全家去国外旅行；阿格拉娅默默地接受了关于此事的初步议论。” 他，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇也可能去国外。甚至ω公爵可能也打算与阿杰菜达一起去度过二个月国外生活，如果事务允许离开的话。将军本人将会留下来。现在大家搬到他们的庄园科尔米诺去了，离彼得堡２０俄里，那里有一幢宽敞的供主人住的房子。别洛孔斯卡娅还没有去莫斯科，甚是好像是故意留下来的，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜强烈地坚持，在发生这一切后不可能再留在帕夫洛夫斯克；他，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇每天告诉她城里的传闻。他们认为搬到叶拉京的别墅去住也是不可能的。 “是啊，实际上，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇补充说，“您自己也会同意，这能否叫人受得了……尤其是知道您这儿，您家里每时每刻都在做的事，公爵，还有，尽管人家拒绝，您却仍然每天去那里求见……” “是的，是的，您说得对，我是想见阿格拉娜·伊万诺夫娜……”公爵又摇起头来。 “啊，亲爱的公爵，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇突然又兴奋又忧愁地嚷道，“当时您怎么能让……这一切发生的呢？当然，当然，这一切对您来说是这么出其不意……我承认，您必然会茫然失措的……而且无法阻失去理智的姑娘，这不是您力所能及的！但是，您可应该明白，这位姑娘对您……爱得认真和强烈到了何等地步。她不愿意与另一个女人分享这种爱，而您……您却能舍弃和毁掉这样的宝贝！” “是的，是的，您说得对；是的，是我错，”公爵十分忧郁地说，“您要知道，只有她一个人，仅仅只有阿格拉娅一个人才这样看待纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜……其他任何人可都不是这样看待她的。” “这没有什么大不了的，因而这一切更令人气愤！”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇十分激动地嚷了起来，“请原谅我、公爵，但是……我……我考虑过这件事，公爵，我反来复去想了许多；我了解过去发生的一切，我了解半年前的一切，了解一切，而所有这一切－－没什么大不了！这一切只不过是头脑发热时的倾心，逢场作戏，想入非非，过眼烟云，只有完全没有经验的姑娘出于其惊慌失措的嫉妒才把这当做什么了不起的事情！” 此时叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇已经完全不讲客气，放任地发泄自己的愤懑。他极富理智、条理清晰，甚至，我再说一遍，心理分析十分深刻地向公爵展现了一幅过去公爵与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜全部关系的图景。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇一向具有口才，现在则达到了滔滔不绝的地步。“从最初起，”他宣称，“您就是以虚假开始的；凡是以虚假开始的，必定是以虚假告终的，这是自然法则。我不认为，甚至感到气忿，人家——嘿，反正有人——把您叫做白痴；对于这样的称呼来说您是大聪明了；但是您又是这么怪，不像大家一样，您自己也会承认的。我认为，整个事情发生的基础是：首先是由于，这么说吧、您天生的没有经验（公爵，请注意‘天生的’这个字眼），其次是由于您非常朴实，再有是异常缺少分寸感（您自己已经好几次意识到这一点了）；最后是积滤在您头脑里的大量观念，您老实得不同一般，至今还把它们当作是真正的，固有的，自然的观念！您自己会承认，公爵，您与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫鹰的关系从一开始就罩上了一层相对民主性的东西（为了简便，我这样表达），被所谓‘妇女问题所吸引（为了更简单地表达）。我可是确切地了解罗戈任送钱来发生在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家里的整场怪诞的丑剧的。您愿意的话，我可以把你们一个个详详细细分析给您听，把您本人像照镜子一样照给您看，对于事情的来龙去脉以及为什么会变成这样的原因，我知道得非常确切！作为一个青年，您在瑞士渴念着祖国，如向往一片神秘莫测的乐土那样渴望回到俄罗斯；您读了许多有关俄国的书，也许，是些非常好的书，但对您来说却是有害的；您怀着渴望干一番事业的一腔热情回来了，这么说吧，想要好好干一场！就在那一天，有人对您讲了一个有关受侮辱的女子的忧伤而揪心的故事，对您，亦即对一个骑士，一个童男子讲——而且是讲女人！那一天您看见了这个女人；您被她的美貌迷住了，这是神话般、仙女孩子似的美貌（我也承认她是美人）。加上您的神经质；加上您的癫痫病；加上我们彼得堡那损害神经的解冻天气；加上整整这一天，您处在一个陌生的、对您来说几乎是光怪陆离的城市，经历了许多会见和场面，出乎意外地结识了不少人，接触到了万万意料不到的现实，看到了叶潘钦家的三位美女，其中包括阿格拉娅；加上劳累、头晕；加上纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的客厅以及这客厅的氛围，还有……在那样的时刻，您对自己能期待什么呢，您怎么想？” “对，对；对，对，”公爵摇着头，开始脸红了，“是的，这几乎就是这么回事；知道吗，上一夜在火车上我确实几乎鳖夜未睡，前天鳖夜也是，而且心境也很不好……” “是啊，当然是这样，我的用意是什么呢？”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇激动地继续说，“很明显，可以说，您沉醉于欣喜之中，急于寻找机会当众宣布豁达大变的思想：您，一个出身望族的公爵和纯洁清白的人，不认为一个并非由于她的过错而是由于上流社会可恶的淫棍的罪孽遭到污辱的女人是可耻的女人。哦，上帝，这可是能够理解的！但是问题的症结不在这里，亲爱的公爵，而在于：您的感情是否真实，是否诚挚？是实际情况，还是仅仅是一时头脑发热？您怎么想：在神圣的殿堂里这样一个女人得到了宽恕，但是你没有对她说，她干得好，她应得到一切荣誉和尊敬。经过三个月以后，难免健全的理性没有向您自己提示，这是怎么回事吗？好，就算她现在是无辜的，——我不坚持这一点，因为我不愿意，——但是她的所有遭遇难道能让她如此不能容忍的、魔鬼般的高傲、为她如此厚颜无耻、如此贪得无厌的利己主义辩解吗？请原谅，公爵，我太激动了，但是……” “是的，这一切是可能的；也许，您是对的……”公爵又呐呐说，“她确实很容易恼火，您说得对，当然，但是……” “值得同情？您是想说这个，我的善良的公爵？但是为了同情她，满足她，难道就可以玷辱另一位高尚、纯洁的姑娘？就可以在那双傲慢的充满憎恨的眼睛面前贬低她？这以后这种同情将会达到什么地步？这可是一种不可思议的夸大！难道可以爱一个姑娘却又在她的情敌面前贬低她，为了另一个女人，并且当着另一个女人的面抛弃她？而且这一切又是在自己已经向她正式求婚之后发生的……您不是向她求婚了吗？不是当着她父母和姐姐的面向她说这话的吗？有了这一切以后，公爵，请问问您自己，难道你还是个正人君子吗？还有……您使她相信您爱她，难道您不是欺骗了一个天仙般的姑娘吗？” “是的，是的，您说得对，啊，我觉得我有错！”公爵陷于难以形容的苦恼之中，说。 “难道这就够了吗？”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇忿忿地嚷了起来，“难道光凭喊‘啊，我有错！’就够了吗？您有错，可您却一意孤行！那时您的良心，那‘基督的’良心在什么地方？您可是看到那一刻她的脸的：她的痛苦比一个，比您那个拆散人家的女人少吗？您怎么能看着听之任之呢？怎么能这样？” “可……我可没有听之任之……”可怜的公爵嘟哝着说。 “怎么没有听之任之？” “真的，我一点也没有听之任之。至今我也不明白，怎么会弄成这样的……我……我当时去追阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜的，而纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜却昏倒了；后来又一直不放我会见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，直至现在。” “这无济于事！您应该出追阿格拉娅，尽管那个女人昏倒了！” “是的……是的……，我应该……可她会死去的！她会自杀的，您不了解她，……反正以后我会把一切都告诉阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜的，还有……要知道，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，我看出来，好像您并不全知道。请告诉我。为什么他们不让我去见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜？不然我可以对她把一切解释清楚。要知道，当时她们俩说的都不是要说的话，根本不是，因此才造成了这样的结果……我怎么也无法对您讲清楚这点；但是，也许我能向阿格拉娅解释清楚……啊，我的上帝，我的上帝！您说到了那时她的脸，那时她怎么跑出去…… 我的上帝，我都记得：我们走吧，我们走吧！”他从座位上急急跳起来，突然拽着叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇的袖子说。 “去哪儿？” “我们会见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，立即就去！……” “可是她已不在帕夫洛夫斯克了，我说过了，再说去干什么？” “她会理解的，她会理解的！”公爵合拢双手作祈求状，嘀咕着说，“她会理解到这一切不是那么回事，而完完全全是另一回事！” “怎么完全是另一回事？您不是仍然要结婚吗？看来，您是一意孤行……您到底结不结婚？” “嗯，是的……要结婚；是的，要结婚！” “那怎么说不是那么回事？” “哦，不，不是那么回事，不是那么回事！我要结婚，这，这反正就这样了，这没有关系！” “怎么反正就这样和没有关系？这可不是小事呀？您跟心爱的女人结婚，为她缔造幸福，而阿格拉娅看见和知道这一切，怎么反正就这样呢？” “幸福？哦，不！我只不过是结个婚而已，她要这样；再说结婚又有什么！找……嘿，反正就这样！不然她一定会死的。我现在才看出，她与罗戈任结婚是疯狂的举动。过去我不理解的事，现在全都明白了，您知道，当时她们俩彼此面对面站着，我简直不能忍受纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的脸……您不知道，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇（他神秘地压低了噪子），我从来也没有对谁说过这一点，甚至也没有对阿格拉娅说过，但我实在不忍看到纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那张脸……刚才您谈到那时在纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜家举行的晚会，您说得对，但是这里您还漏掉一点，因为您不知道：我看到了她的脸！那天上午我就不忍看照片上她的脸……您看维拉·列别杰娃就宣传是另一双眼睛……我……我怕看她的脸！”他异常骇怕地补充说。 “您怕？” “是的，她是个疯女人。”他脸色发白，低声嘟哝说。 “您确实知道这一点吗？”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇异常好奇地问。 “是的，确实知道，现在已经确实无疑：现在，这些天里，我已经完全确实地知道了！” “那您在对自己干什么吗？”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇惊呼道，“这么说，您是因为害怕才结婚喏？这真让人莫名其妙……也许，甚至不爱她而结婚？” “哦，不，我全心全意爱她。可这是个……孩子，现在她是个孩子，完全是个孩子！哦，您什么也不知道！” “而同时您又要阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜相信您的爱情！” “哦，是的，是的！” “怎么能这样？这么说，您想爱两个人？” “哦，是的，是的！” “得了吧，公爵，您在说什么吗，清醒清醒吧！” “没有阿格拉娅，我……我一定要见到她！我……我很快就会在梦中死去；我想，今天夜里我就会在梦中死去。哦，假如阿格拉娅知道，知道一切就好了……一定要知道一切。因为这件事必须得知道一切，这是首要的！为什么我们从来都不能了解有关别人的全部情况，而这是必要的，尤其是这个人有过错的时候！……不过，我不知道我在说什么，我心乱如麻；您让我吃惊得不得了……难道现在她脸上的表情还像当时跑出来时那副模样？哦，是的，我有错！最大可能是一切都是我的错！我还不知道究竟错在那里，但是我有错……这里有我无法向您解释清楚的东西，但是……阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜是会理解的！哦，我始终相信，她是会理解的。” “不，公爵，她不会理解的：阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜爱您，是一个女人的爱，是一个活生生的人的爱，而不是……抽象的神灵的爱。知道吗，我可怜的公爵：最确切的是，无论是这个还是那个您从来都没有爱过！” “我不知道……也许是这样，也许是这样；您在许多方面是对的，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇。您非常聪明，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇；啊，我又开始头痛了，我们到她那儿去吧！看在上帝份上，看在上帝份上！” “我不是告诉您了，她已不在帕夫洛夫斯克了，她在科尔米诺。” “我们就去科尔米诺，马上就去！” “这不－可－能！”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇站起身，拉长了调子说。 “听着，我写封信，您把信带去！” “不，公爵，不！您免了这样的委托吧，我不能！” 他们分了手。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇离开的时候有一种奇怪的念头：他得出的看法是公爵有点精神不正常。他又怕又爱的这张脸究竟意味着什么？同时，他确实会因为没有阿格拉娅而死去，那么阿格拉娅也许永远也不会知道，他是何等爱她！哈－哈！怎么能两个都爱？是用两种不同的方式爱吗？这倒很有意思……可怜的白痴！现在他会怎样呢？”

Part 4 Chapter 8 THIS same morning dawned for the prince pregnant with no less painful presentiments,--which fact his physical state was, of course, quite enough to account for; but he was so indefinably melancholy,--his sadness could not attach itself to anything in particular, and this tormented him more than anything else. Of course certain facts stood before him, clear and painful, but his sadness went beyond all that he could remember or imagine; he realized that he was powerless to console himself unaided. Little by little he began to develop the expectation that this day something important, something decisive, was to happen to him. His attack of yesterday had been a slight one. Excepting some little heaviness in the head and pain in the limbs, he did not feel any particular effects. His brain worked all right, though his soul was heavy within him. He rose late, and immediately upon waking remembered all about the previous evening; he also remembered, though not quite so clearly, how, half an hour after his fit, he had been carried home. He soon heard that a messenger from the Epanchins' had already been to inquire after him. At half-past eleven another arrived; and this pleased him. Vera Lebedeff was one of the first to come to see him and offer her services. No sooner did she catch sight of him than she burst into tears; but when he tried to soothe her she began to laugh. He was quite struck by the girl's deep sympathy for him; he seized her hand and kissed it. Vera flushed crimson. "Oh, don't, don't!" she exclaimed in alarm, snatching her hand away. She went hastily out of the room in a state of strange confusion. Lebedeff also came to see the prince, in a great hurry to get away to the "deceased," as he called General Ivolgin, who was alive still, but very ill. Colia also turned up, and begged the prince for pity's sake to tell him all he knew about his father which had been concealed from him till now. He said he had found out nearly everything since yesterday; the poor boy was in a state of deep affliction. With all the sympathy which he could bring into play, the prince told Colia the whole story without reserve, detailing the facts as clearly as he could. The tale struck Colia like a thunderbolt. He could not speak. He listened silently, and cried softly to himself the while. The prince perceived that this was an impression which would last for the whole of the boy's life. He made haste to explain his view of the matter, and pointed out that the old man's approaching death was probably brought on by horror at the thought of his action; and that it was not everyone who was capable of such a feeling. Colia's eyes flashed as he listened. "Gania and Varia and Ptitsin are a worthless lot! I shall not quarrel with them; but from this moment our feet shall not travel the same road. Oh, prince, I have felt much that is quite new to me since yesterday! It is a lesson for me. I shall now consider my mother as entirely my responsibility; though she may be safe enough with Varia. Still, meat and drink is not everything." He jumped up and hurried off, remembering suddenly that he was wanted at his father's bedside; but before he went out of the room he inquired hastily after the prince's health, and receiving the latter's reply, added: "Isn't there something else, prince? I heard yesterday, but I have no right to talk about this... If you ever want a true friend and servant--neither you nor I are so very happy, are we? --come to me. I won't ask you questions, though." He ran off and left the prince more dejected than ever. Everyone seemed to be speaking prophetically, hinting at some misfortune or sorrow to come; they had all looked at him as though they knew something which he did not know. Lebedeff had asked questions, Colia had hinted, and Vera had shed tears. What was it? At last, with a sigh of annoyance, he said to himself that it was nothing but his own cursed sickly suspicion. His face lighted up with joy when, at about two o'clock, he espied the Epanchins coming along to pay him a short visit, "just for a minute." They really had only come for a minute. Lizabetha Prokofievna had announced, directly after lunch, that they would all take a walk together. The information was given in the form of a command, without explanation, drily and abruptly. All had issued forth in obedience to the mandate; that is, the girls, mamma, and Prince S. Lizabetha Prokofievna went off in a direction exactly contrary to the usual one, and all understood very well what she was driving at, but held their peace, fearing to irritate the good lady. She, as though anxious to avoid any conversation, walked ahead, silent and alone. At last Adelaida remarked that it was no use racing along at such a pace, and that she could not keep up with her mother. "Look here," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, turning round suddenly; "we are passing his house. Whatever Aglaya may think, and in spite of anything that may happen, he is not a stranger to us; besides which, he is ill and in misfortune. I, for one, shall call in and see him. Let anyone follow me who cares to." Of course every one of them followed her. The prince hastened to apologize, very properly, for yesterday's mishap with the vase, and for the scene generally. "Oh, that's nothing," replied Lizabetha; "I'm not sorry for the vase, I'm sorry for you. H'm! so you can see that there was a 'scene,' can you? Well, it doesn't matter much, for everyone must realize now that it is impossible to be hard on you. Well, au revoir. I advise you to have a walk, and then go to sleep again if you can. Come in as usual, if you feel inclined; and be assured, once for all, whatever happens, and whatever may have happened, you shall always remain the friend of the family--mine, at all events. I can answer for myself." In response to this challenge all the others chimed in and re- echoed mamma's sentiments. And so they took their departure; but in this hasty and kindly designed visit there was hidden a fund of cruelty which Lizabetha Prokofievna never dreamed of. In the words "as usual," and again in her added, "mine, at all events," there seemed an ominous knell of some evil to come. The prince began to think of Aglaya. She had certainly given him a wonderful smile, both at coming and again at leave-taking, but had not said a word, not even when the others all professed their friendship for him. She had looked very intently at him, but that was all. Her face had been paler than usual; she looked as though she had slept badly. The prince made up his mind that he would make a point of going there "as usual," tonight, and looked feverishly at his watch. Vera came in three minutes after the Epanchins had left. "Lef Nicolaievitch," she said, "Aglaya Ivanovna has just given me a message for you." The prince trembled. "Is it a note?" "No, a verbal message; she had hardly time even for that. She begs you earnestly not to go out of the house for a single moment all to-day, until seven o'clock in the evening. It may have been nine; I didn't quite hear." "But--but, why is this? What does it mean?" "I don't know at all; but she said I was to tell you particularly." "Did she say that?" "Not those very words. She only just had time to whisper as she went by; but by the way she looked at me I knew it was important. She looked at me in a way that made my heart stop beating." The prince asked a few more questions, and though he learned nothing else, he became more and more agitated. Left alone, he lay down on the sofa, and began to think. "Perhaps," he thought, "someone is to be with them until nine tonight and she is afraid that I may come and make a fool of myself again, in public." So he spent his time longing for the evening and looking at his watch. But the clearing-up of the mystery came long before the evening, and came in the form of a new and agonizing riddle. Half an hour after the Epanchins had gone, Hippolyte arrived, so tired that, almost unconscious, he sank into a chair, and broke into such a fit of coughing that he could not stop. He coughed till the blood came. His eyes glittered, and two red spots on his cheeks grew brighter and brighter. The prince murmured something to him, but Hippolyte only signed that he must be left alone for a while, and sat silent. At last he came to himself. "I am off," he said, hoarsely, and with difficulty. "Shall I see you home?" asked the prince, rising from his seat, but suddenly stopping short as he remembered Aglaya's prohibition against leaving the house. Hippolyte laughed. "I don't mean that I am going to leave your house," he continued, still gasping and coughing. "On the contrary, I thought it absolutely necessary to come and see you; otherwise I should not have troubled you. I am off there, you know, and this time I believe, seriously, that I am off! It's all over. I did not come here for sympathy, believe me. I lay down this morning at ten o'clock with the intention of not rising again before that time; but I thought it over and rose just once more in order to come here; from which you may deduce that I had some reason for wishing to come." "It grieves me to see you so, Hippolyte. Why didn't you send me a message? I would have come up and saved you this trouble." "Well, well! Enough! You've pitied me, and that's all that good manners exact. I forgot, how are you?" "I'm all right; yesterday I was a little--" "I know, I heard; the china vase caught it! I'm sorry I wasn't there. I've come about something important. In the first place I had, the pleasure of seeing Gavrila Ardalionovitch and Aglaya Ivanovna enjoying a rendezvous on the green bench in the park. I was astonished to see what a fool a man can look. I remarked upon the fact to Aglaya Ivanovna when he had gone. I don't think anything ever surprises you, prince!" added Hippolyte, gazing incredulously at the prince's calm demeanour. "To be astonished by nothing is a sign, they say, of a great intellect. In my opinion it would serve equally well as a sign of great foolishness. I am not hinting about you; pardon me! I am very unfortunate today in my expressions. "I knew yesterday that Gavrila Ardalionovitch--" began the prince, and paused in evident confusion, though Hippolyte had shown annoyance at his betraying no surprise. "You knew it? Come, that's news! But no--perhaps better not tell me. And were you a witness of the meeting?" "If you were there yourself you must have known that I was NOT there!" "Oh! but you may have been sitting behind the bushes somewhere. However, I am very glad, on your account, of course. I was beginning to be afraid that Mr. Gania--might have the preference!" "May I ask you, Hippolyte, not to talk of this subject? And not to use such expressions?" "Especially as you know all, eh?" "You are wrong. I know scarcely anything, and Aglaya Ivanovna is aware that I know nothing. I knew nothing whatever about this meeting. You say there was a meeting. Very well; let's leave it so--" "Why, what do you mean? You said you knew, and now suddenly you know nothing! You say 'very well; let's leave it so.' But I say, don't be so confiding, especially as you know nothing. You are confiding simply BECAUSE you know nothing. But do you know what these good people have in their minds' eye--Gania and his sister? Perhaps you are suspicious? Well, well, I'll drop the subject!" he added, hastily, observing the prince's impatient gesture. "But I've come to you on my own business; I wish to make you a clear explanation. What a nuisance it is that one cannot die without explanations! I have made such a quantity of them already. Do you wish to hear what I have to say?" "Speak away, I am listening." "Very well, but I'll change my mind, and begin about Gania. Just fancy to begin with, if you can, that I, too, was given an appointment at the green bench today! However, I won't deceive you; I asked for the appointment. I said I had a secret to disclose. I don't know whether I came there too early, I think I must have; but scarcely had I sat down beside Aglaya Ivanovna than I saw Gavrila Ardalionovitch and his sister Varia coming along, arm in arm, just as though they were enjoying a morning walk together. Both of them seemed very much astonished, not to say disturbed, at seeing me; they evidently had not expected the pleasure. Aglaya Ivanovna blushed up, and was actually a little confused. I don't know whether it was merely because I was there, or whether Gania's beauty was too much for her! But anyway, she turned crimson, and then finished up the business in a very funny manner. She jumped up from her seat, bowed back to Gania, smiled to Varia, and suddenly observed: 'I only came here to express my gratitude for all your kind wishes on my behalf, and to say that if I find I need your services, believe me--' Here she bowed them away, as it were, and they both marched off again, looking very foolish. Gania evidently could not make head nor tail of the matter, and turned as red as a lobster; but Varia understood at once that they must get away as quickly as they could, so she dragged Gania away; she is a great deal cleverer than he is. As for myself, I went there to arrange a meeting to be held between Aglaya Ivanovna and Nastasia Philipovna." "Nastasia Philipovna!" cried the prince. "Aha! I think you are growing less cool, my friend, and are beginning to be a trifle surprised, aren't you? I'm glad that you are not above ordinary human feelings, for once. I'll console you a little now, after your consternation. See what I get for serving a young and high-souled maiden! This morning I received a slap in the face from the lady!" "A--a moral one?" asked the prince, involuntarily. "Yes--not a physical one! I don't suppose anyone--even a woman-- would raise a hand against me now. Even Gania would hesitate! I did think at one time yesterday, that he would fly at me, though. I bet anything that I know what you are thinking of now! You are thinking: 'Of course one can't strike the little wretch, but one could suffocate him with a pillow, or a wet towel, when he is asleep! One OUGHT to get rid of him somehow.' I can see in your face that you are thinking that at this very second." "I never thought of such a thing for a moment," said the prince, with disgust. "I don't know--I dreamed last night that I was being suffocated with a wet cloth by--somebody. I'll tell you who it was--Rogojin! What do you think, can a man be suffocated with a wet cloth?" "I don't know." "I've heard so. Well, we'll leave that question just now. Why am I a scandal-monger? Why did she call me a scandal-monger? And mind, AFTER she had heard every word I had to tell her, and had asked all sorts of questions besides--but such is the way of women. For HER sake I entered into relations with Rogojin--an interesting man! At HER request I arranged a personal interview between herself and Nastasia Philipovna. Could she have been angry because I hinted that she was enjoying Nastasia Philipovna's 'leavings'? Why, I have been impressing it upon her all this while for her own good. Two letters have I written her in that strain, and I began straight off today about its being humiliating for her. Besides, the word 'leavings' is not my invention. At all events, they all used it at Gania's, and she used it herself. So why am I a scandal-monger? I see--I see you are tremendously amused, at this moment! Probably you are laughing at me and fitting those silly lines to my case-- "'Maybe sad Love upon his setting smiles, And with vain hopes his farewell hour beguiles. "Ha, ha, ha!" Hippolyte suddenly burst into a fit of hysterical laughter, which turned into a choking cough. "Observe," he gasped, through his coughing, "what a fellow Gania is! He talks about Nastasia's 'leavings,' but what does he want to take himself?" The prince sat silent for a long while. His mind was filled with dread and horror. "You spoke of a meeting with Nastasia Philipovna," he said at last, in a low voice. "Oh--come! Surely you must know that there is to be a meeting today between Nastasia and Aglaya Ivanovna, and that Nastasia has been sent for on purpose, through Rogojin, from St. Petersburg? It has been brought about by invitation of Aglaya Ivanovna and my own efforts, and Nastasia is at this moment with Rogojin, not far from here--at Dana Alexeyevna's--that curious friend of hers; and to this questionable house Aglaya Ivanovna is to proceed for a friendly chat with Nastasia Philipovna, and for the settlement of several problems. They are going to play at arithmetic--didn't you know about it? Word of honour?" "It's a most improbable story." "Oh, very well! if it's improbable--it is--that's all! And yet-- where should you have heard it? Though I must say, if a fly crosses the room it's known all over the place here. However, I've warned you, and you may be grateful to me. Well--au revoir-- probably in the next world! One more thing--don't think that I am telling you all this for your sake. Oh, dear, no! Do you know that I dedicated my confession to Aglaya Ivanovna? I did though, and how she took it, ha, ha! Oh, no! I am not acting from any high, exalted motives. But though I may have behaved like a cad to you, I have not done HER any harm. I don't apologize for my words about 'leavings' and all that. I am atoning for that, you see, by telling you the place and time of the meeting. Goodbye! You had better take your measures, if you are worthy the name of a man! The meeting is fixed for this evening--that's certain." Hippolyte walked towards the door, but the prince called him back and he stopped. "Then you think Aglaya Ivanovna herself intends to go to Nastasia Philipovna's tonight?" he asked, and bright hectic spots came out on his cheeks and forehead. "I don't know absolutely for certain; but in all probability it is so," replied Hippolyte, looking round. "Nastasia would hardly go to her; and they can't meet at Gania's, with a man nearly dead in the house." "It's impossible, for that very reason," said the prince. "How would she get out if she wished to? You don't know the habits of that house--she COULD not get away alone to Nastasia Philipovna's! It's all nonsense!" "Look here, my dear prince, no one jumps out of the window if they can help it; but when there's a fire, the dandiest gentleman or the finest lady in the world will skip out! When the moment comes, and there's nothing else to be done--our young lady will go to Nastasia Philipovna's! Don't they let the young ladies out of the house alone, then?" "I didn't mean that exactly." "If you didn't mean that, then she has only to go down the steps and walk off, and she need never come back unless she chooses: Ships are burned behind one sometimes, and one doesn't care to return whence one came. Life need not consist only of lunches, and dinners, and Prince S's. It strikes me you take Aglaya Ivanovna for some conventional boarding-school girl. I said so to her, and she quite agreed with me. Wait till seven or eight o'clock. In your place I would send someone there to keep watch, so as to seize the exact moment when she steps out of the house. Send Colia. He'll play the spy with pleasure--for you at least. Ha, ha, ha!" Hippolyte went out. There was no reason for the prince to set anyone to watch, even if he had been capable of such a thing. Aglaya's command that he should stay at home all day seemed almost explained now. Perhaps she meant to call for him, herself, or it might be, of course, that she was anxious to make sure of his not coming there, and therefore bade him remain at home. His head whirled; the whole room seemed to be turning round. He lay down on the sofa, and closed his eyes. One way or the other the question was to be decided at last-- finally. Oh, no, he did not think of Aglaya as a boarding-school miss, or a young lady of the conventional type! He had long since feared that she might take some such step as this. But why did she wish to see Nastasia? He shivered all over as he lay; he was in high fever again. No! he did not account her a child. Certain of her looks, certain of her words, of late, had filled him with apprehension. At times it had struck him that she was putting too great a restraint upon herself, and he remembered that he had been alarmed to observe this. He had tried, all these days, to drive away the heavy thoughts that oppressed him; but what was the hidden mystery of that soul? The question had long tormented him, although he implicitly trusted that soul. And now it was all to be cleared up. It was a dreadful thought. And "that woman" again! Why did he always feel as though "that woman" were fated to appear at each critical moment of his life, and tear the thread of his destiny like a bit of rotten string? That he always HAD felt this he was ready to swear, although he was half delirious at the moment. If he had tried to forget her, all this time, it was simply because he was afraid of her. Did he love the woman or hate her? This question he did not once ask himself today; his heart was quite pure. He knew whom he loved. He was not so much afraid of this meeting, nor of its strangeness, nor of any reasons there might be for it, unknown to himself; he was afraid of the woman herself, Nastasia Philipovna. He remembered, some days afterwards, how during all those fevered hours he had seen but HER eyes, HER look, had heard HER voice, strange words of hers; he remembered that this was so, although he could not recollect the details of his thoughts. He could remember that Vera brought him some dinner, and that he took it; but whether he slept after dinner, or no, he could not recollect. He only knew that he began to distinguish things clearly from the moment when Aglaya suddenly appeared, and he jumped up from the sofa and went to meet her. It was just a quarter past seven then. Aglaya was quite alone, and dressed, apparently hastily, in a light mantle. Her face was pale, as it had been in the morning, and her eyes were ablaze with bright but subdued fire. He had never seen that expression in her eyes before. She gazed attentively at him. "You are quite ready, I observe," she said, with absolute composure, "dressed, and your hat in your hand. I see somebody has thought fit to warn you, and I know who. Hippolyte?" "Yes, he told me," said the prince, feeling only half alive. "Come then. You know, I suppose, that you must escort me there? You are well enough to go out, aren't you?" "I am well enough; but is it really possible?--" He broke off abruptly, and could not add another word. This was his one attempt to stop the mad child, and, after he had made it, he followed her as though he had no will of his own. Confused as his thoughts were, he was, nevertheless, capable of realizing the fact that if he did not go with her, she would go alone, and so he must go with her at all hazards. He guessed the strength of her determination; it was beyond him to check it. They walked silently, and said scarcely a word all the way. He only noticed that she seemed to know the road very well; and once, when he thought it better to go by a certain lane, and remarked to her that it would be quieter and less public, she only said, "it's all the same," and went on. When they were almost arrived at Daria Alexeyevna's house (it was a large wooden structure of ancient date), a gorgeously-dressed lady and a young girl came out of it. Both these ladies took their seats in a carriage, which was waiting at the door, talking and laughing loudly the while, and drove away without appearing to notice the approaching couple. No sooner had the carriage driven off than the door opened once more; and Rogojin, who had apparently been awaiting them, let them in and closed it after them. "There is not another soul in the house now excepting our four selves," he said aloud, looking at the prince in a strange way. Nastasia Philipovna was waiting for them in the first room they went into. She was dressed very simply, in black. She rose at their entrance, but did not smile or give her hand, even to the prince. Her anxious eyes were fixed upon Aglaya. Both sat down, at a little distance from one another--Aglaya on the sofa, in the corner of the room, Nastasia by the window. The prince and Rogojin remained standing, and were not invited to sit. Muishkin glanced at Rogojin in perplexity, but the latter only smiled disagreeably, and said nothing. The silence continued for some few moments. An ominous expression passed over Nastasia Philipovna's face, of a sudden. It became obstinate-looking, hard, and full of hatred; but she did not take her eyes off her visitors for a moment. Aglaya was clearly confused, but not frightened. On entering she had merely glanced momentarily at her rival, and then had sat still, with her eyes on the ground, apparently in thought. Once or twice she glanced casually round the room. A shade of disgust was visible in her expression; she looked as though she were afraid of contamination in this place. She mechanically arranged her dress, and fidgeted uncomfortably, eventually changing her seat to the other end of the sofa. Probably she was unconscious of her own movements; but this very unconsciousness added to the offensiveness of their suggested meaning. At length she looked straight into Nastasia's eyes, and instantly read all there was to read in her rival's expression. Woman understood woman! Aglaya shuddered. "You know of course why I requested this meeting?" she said at last, quietly, and pausing twice in the delivery of this very short sentence. "No--I know nothing about it," said Nastasia, drily and abruptly. Aglaya blushed. Perhaps it struck her as very strange and impossible that she should really be sitting here and waiting for "that woman's" reply to her question. At the first sound of Nastasia's voice a shudder ran through her frame. Of course "that woman" observed and took in all this. "You know quite well, but you are pretending to be ignorant," said Aglaya, very low, with her eyes on the ground. "Why should I?" asked Nastasia Philipovna, smiling slightly. "You want to take advantage of my position, now that I am in your house," continued Aglaya, awkwardly. "For that position YOU are to blame and not I," said Nastasia, flaring up suddenly. "_I_ did not invite YOU, but you me; and to this moment I am quite ignorant as to why I am thus honoured." Aglaya raised her head haughtily. "Restrain your tongue!" she said. "I did not come here to fight you with your own weapons. "Oh! then you did come 'to fight,' I may conclude? Dear me!--and I thought you were cleverer--" They looked at one another with undisguised malice. One of these women had written to the other, so lately, such letters as we have seen; and it all was dispersed at their first meeting. Yet it appeared that not one of the four persons in the room considered this in any degree strange. The prince who, up to yesterday, would not have believed that he could even dream of such an impossible scene as this, stood and listened and looked on, and felt as though he had long foreseen it all. The most fantastic dream seemed suddenly to have been metamorphosed into the most vivid reality. One of these women so despised the other, and so longed to express her contempt for her (perhaps she had only come for that very purpose, as Rogojin said next day), that howsoever fantastical was the other woman, howsoever afflicted her spirit and disturbed her understanding, no preconceived idea of hers could possibly stand up against that deadly feminine contempt of her rival. The prince felt sure that Nastasia would say nothing about the letters herself; but he could judge by her flashing eyes and the expression of her face what the thought of those letters must be costing her at this moment. He would have given half his life to prevent Aglaya from speaking of them. But Aglaya suddenly braced herself up, and seemed to master herself fully, all in an instant. "You have not quite understood," she said. "I did not come to quarrel with you, though I do not like you. I came to speak to you as... as one human being to another. I came with my mind made up as to what I had to say to you, and I shall not change my intention, although you may misunderstand me. So much the worse for you, not for myself! I wished to reply to all you have written to me and to reply personally, because I think that is the more convenient way. Listen to my reply to all your letters. I began to be sorry for Prince Lef Nicolaievitch on the very day I made his acquaintance, and when I heard--afterwards--of all that took place at your house in the evening, I was sorry for him because he was such a simple-minded man, and because he, in the simplicity of his soul, believed that he could be happy with a woman of your character. What I feared actually took place; you could not love him, you tortured him, and threw him over. You could not love him because you are too proud--no, not proud, that is an error; because you are too vain--no, not quite that either; too self-loving; you are self-loving to madness. Your letters to me are a proof of it. You could not love so simple a soul as his, and perhaps in your heart you despised him and laughed at him. All you could love was your shame and the perpetual thought that you were disgraced and insulted. If you were less shameful, or had no cause at all for shame, you would be still more unhappy than you are now. Aglaya brought out these thronging words with great satisfaction. They came from her lips hurriedly and impetuously, and had been prepared and thought out long ago, even before she had ever dreamed of the present meeting. She watched with eagerness the effect of her speech as shown in Nastasia's face, which was distorted with agitation. "You remember," she continued, "he wrote me a letter at that time; he says you know all about that letter and that you even read it. I understand all by means of this letter, and understand it correctly. He has since confirmed it all to me--what I now say to you, word for word. After receiving his letter I waited; I guessed that you would soon come back here, because you could never do without Petersburg; you are still too young and lovely for the provinces. However, this is not my own idea," she added, blushing dreadfully; and from this moment the colour never left her cheeks to the end of her speech. When I next saw the prince I began to feel terribly pained and hurt on his account. Do not laugh; if you laugh you are unworthy of understanding what I say." "Surely you see that I am not laughing," said Nastasia, sadly and sternly. "However, it's all the same to me; laugh or not, just as you please. When I asked him about you, he told me that he had long since ceased to love you, that the very recollection of you was a torture to him, but that he was sorry for you; and that when he thought of you his heart was pierced. I ought to tell you that I never in my life met a man anything like him for noble simplicity of mind and for boundless trustfulness. I guessed that anyone who liked could deceive him, and that he would immediately forgive anyone who did deceive him; and it was for this that I grew to love him--" Aglaya paused for a moment, as though suddenly brought up in astonishment that she could have said these words, but at the same time a great pride shone in her eyes, like a defiant assertion that it would not matter to her if "this woman" laughed in her face for the admission just made. "I have told you all now, and of course you understand what I wish of you." "Perhaps I do; but tell me yourself," said Nastasia Philipovna, quietly. Aglaya flushed up angrily. "I wished to find out from you," she said, firmly, "by what right you dare to meddle with his feelings for me? By what right you dared send me those letters? By what right do you continually remind both me and him that you love him, after you yourself threw him over and ran away from him in so insulting and shameful a way?" "I never told either him or you that I loved him!" replied Nastasia Philipovna, with an effort. "And--and I did run away from him--you are right there," she added, scarcely audibly. "Never told either him or me?" cried Aglaya. "How about your letters? Who asked you to try to persuade me to marry him? Was not that a declaration from you? Why do you force yourself upon us in this way? I confess I thought at first that you were anxious to arouse an aversion for him in my heart by your meddling, in order that I might give him up; and it was only afterwards that I guessed the truth. You imagined that you were doing an heroic action! How could you spare any love for him, when you love your own vanity to such an extent? Why could you not simply go away from here, instead of writing me those absurd letters? Why do you not NOW marry that generous man who loves you, and has done you the honour of offering you his hand? It is plain enough why; if you marry Rogojin you lose your grievance; you will have nothing more to complain of. You will be receiving too much honour. Evgenie Pavlovitch was saying the other day that you had read too many poems and are too well educated for--your position; and that you live in idleness. Add to this your vanity, and, there you have reason enough--" "And do you not live in idleness?" Things had come to this unexpected point too quickly. Unexpected because Nastasia Philipovna, on her way to Pavlofsk, had thought and considered a good deal, and had expected something different, though perhaps not altogether good, from this interview; but Aglaya had been carried away by her own outburst, just as a rolling stone gathers impetus as it careers downhill, and could not restrain herself in the satisfaction of revenge. It was strange, Nastasia Philipovna felt, to see Aglaya like this. She gazed at her, and could hardly believe her eyes and ears for a moment or two. Whether she were a woman who had read too many poems, as Evgenie Pavlovitch supposed, or whether she were mad, as the prince had assured Aglaya, at all events, this was a woman who, in spite of her occasionally cynical and audacious manner, was far more refined and trustful and sensitive than appeared. There was a certain amount of romantic dreaminess and caprice in her, but with the fantastic was mingled much that was strong and deep. The prince realized this, and great suffering expressed itself in his face. Aglaya observed it, and trembled with anger. "How dare you speak so to me?" she said, with a haughtiness which was quite indescribable, replying to Nastasia's last remark. "You must have misunderstood what I said," said Nastasia, in some surprise. "If you wished to preserve your good name, why did you not give up your--your 'guardian,' Totski, without all that theatrical posturing?" said Aglaya, suddenly a propos of nothing. "What do you know of my position, that you dare to judge me?" cried Nastasia, quivering with rage, and growing terribly white. "I know this much, that you did not go out to honest work, but went away with a rich man, Rogojin, in order to pose as a fallen angel. I don't wonder that Totski was nearly driven to suicide by such a fallen angel." "Silence!" cried Nastasia Philipovna. "You are about as fit to understand me as the housemaid here, who bore witness against her lover in court the other day. She would understand me better than you do." "Probably an honest girl living by her own toil. Why do you speak of a housemaid so contemptuously?" "I do not despise toil; I despise you when you speak of toil." "If you had cared to be an honest woman, you would have gone out as a laundress." Both had risen, and were gazing at one another with pallid faces. "Aglaya, don't! This is unfair," cried the prince, deeply distressed. Rogojin was not smiling now; he sat and listened with folded arms, and lips tight compressed. "There, look at her," cried Nastasia, trembling with passion. "Look at this young lady! And I imagined her an angel! Did you come to me without your governess, Aglaya Ivanovna? Oh, fie, now shall I just tell you why you came here today? Shall I tell you without any embellishments? You came because you were afraid of me!" "Afraid of YOU?" asked Aglaya, beside herself with naive amazement that the other should dare talk to her like this. "Yes, me, of course! Of course you were afraid of me, or you would not have decided to come. You cannot despise one you fear. And to think that I have actually esteemed you up to this very moment! Do you know why you are afraid of me, and what is your object now? You wished to satisfy yourself with your own eyes as to which he loves best, myself or you, because you are fearfully jealous." "He has told me already that he hates you," murmured Aglaya, scarcely audibly. "Perhaps, perhaps! I am not worthy of him, I know. But I think you are lying, all the same. He cannot hate me, and he cannot have said so. I am ready to forgive you, in consideration of your position; but I confess I thought better of you. I thought you were wiser, and more beautiful, too; I did, indeed! Well, take your treasure! See, he is gazing at you, he can't recollect himself. Take him, but on one condition; go away at once, this instant!" She fell back into a chair, and burst into tears. But suddenly some new expression blazed in her eyes. She stared fixedly at Aglaya, and rose from her seat. "Or would you like me to bid him, BID HIM, do you hear, COMMAND HIM, now, at once, to throw you up, and remain mine for ever? Shall I? He will stay, and he will marry me too, and you shall trot home all alone. Shall I?--shall I say the word?" she screamed like a madwoman, scarcely believing herself that she could really pronounce such wild words. Aglaya had made for the door in terror, but she stopped at the threshold, and listened. "Shall I turn Rogojin off? Ha! ha! you thought I would marry him for your benefit, did you? Why, I'll call out NOW, if you like, in your presence, 'Rogojin, get out!' and say to the prince, 'Do you remember what you promised me?' Heavens! what a fool I have been to humiliate myself before them! Why, prince, you yourself gave me your word that you would marry me whatever happened, and would never abandon me. You said you loved me and would forgive me all, and--and resp--yes, you even said that! I only ran away from you in order to set you free, and now I don't care to let you go again. Why does she treat me so-- so shamefully? I am not a loose woman--ask Rogojin there! He'll tell you. Will you go again now that she has insulted me, before your eyes, too; turn away from me and lead her away, arm-in-arm? May you be accursed too, for you were the only one I trusted among them all! Go away, Rogojin, I don't want you," she continued, blind with fury, and forcing the words out with dry lips and distorted features, evidently not believing a single word of her own tirade, but, at the same time, doing her utmost to prolong the moment of self-deception. The outburst was so terribly violent that the prince thought it would have killed her. "There he is!" she shrieked again, pointing to the prince and addressing Aglaya. "There he is! and if he does not approach me at once and take ME and throw you over, then have him for your own--I give him up to you! I don't want him!" Both she and Aglaya stood and waited as though in expectation, and both looked at the prince like madwomen. But he, perhaps, did not understand the full force of this challenge; in fact, it is certain he did not. All he could see was the poor despairing face which, as he had said to Aglaya, "had pierced his heart for ever." He could bear it no longer, and with a look of entreaty, mingled with reproach, he addressed Aglaya, pointing to Nastasia the while: "How can you?" he murmured; "she is so unhappy." But he had no time to say another word before. Aglaya's terrible look bereft him of speech. In that look was embodied so dreadful a suffering and so deadly a hatred, that he gave a cry and flew to her; but it was too late. She could not hold out long enough even to witness his movement in her direction. She had hidden her face in her hands, cried once " Oh, my God!" and rushed out of the room. Rogojin followed her to undo the bolts of the door and let her out into the street. The prince made a rush after her, but he, was caught and held back. The distorted, livid face of Nastasia gazed at him reproachfully, and her blue lips whispered: "What? Would you go to her--to her?" She fell senseless into his arms. He raised her, carried her into the room, placed her in an arm- chair, and stood over her, stupefied. On the table stood a tumbler of water. Rogojin, who now returned, took this and sprinkled a little in her face. She opened her eyes, but for a moment she understood nothing. Suddenly she looked around, shuddered, gave a loud cry, and threw herself in the prince's arms. "Mine, mine!" she cried. "Has the proud young lady gone? Ha, ha, ha!" she laughed hysterically. "And I had given him up to her! Why--why did I? Mad--mad! Get away, Rogojin! Ha, ha, ha!" Rogojin stared intently at them; then he took his hat, and without a word, left the room. A few moments later, the prince was seated by Nastasia on the sofa, gazing into her eyes and stroking her face and hair, as he would a little child's. He laughed when she laughed, and was ready to cry when she cried. He did not speak, but listened to her excited, disconnected chatter, hardly understanding a word of it the while. No sooner did he detect the slightest appearance of complaining, or weeping, or reproaching, than he would smile at her kindly, and begin stroking her hair and her cheeks, soothing and consoling her once more, as if she were a child. 对于公爵来说这个早晨是在沉重的预感的影响下开始的；这些预感可以用他的病态来解释，但是他莫名的忧伤太深了，这对他来说是最痛苦不过了。确实，呈现在他面前的是鲜明的、沉重的和令人难受的事实，但是他的忧郁远胜于他所能想起和想象到的一切。他明白，他一个人是无法使自己平静的。渐渐地在他心中滋生出一种期待，今天他一定会发生什么特别的，决定性的事。昨天他发病是属轻的发作，除了忧郁，头脑有些发沉和肢体疼痛外，他没有觉得有任何别的不舒服。他的头脑相当清晰，尽管心灵是痛苦的。他很迟才起床，马上就明白地想起了昨天的晚会；虽然并不完全清楚，但毕竟想起了在他发病后过了半小时把他送回了家。他获悉，叶潘钦家已经差人到他这儿来过，探询他的身体状况，１点半又差人来过；这使他感到很高兴，最早来探望和侍候他的人中还有维拉·列别杰娃，最初她一看见他便突然哭了起来，但是当公爵立即使她平静下来后，她便开怀大笑了，这个姑娘对他的强烈同情不知怎么的突然使他很是吃惊。他抓起她的手吻了一下。维拉脸上一下子飞起红晕。 “啊，您这是干什么，您这是干什么！”她惊惧地喊了起来，急忙抽回了自己的手。 她在一种奇怪的窘态中很快就离去了，不过她告诉了公爵，她父亲今天天刚亮就跑到被他称为“死者”的将军那里去了，想了解夜间他是否死了，听人家说大概快要死了。１１点多，列别杰夫自己到公爵家里来，但是，说实在的，“只来一会儿，了解一下贵体如何”等等，此外也是为了光顾一下“小酒柜”。除了唉声叹气，他什么事也没有，因此公爵便让他快走了，但是他毕竟还是试着打听了一下昨天发病的情况，虽然看得出，他对此事已经知道得颇为详尽了。在他后面来的是科利亚，也是一会儿；他确实很仓促，强烈地惶恐不安和阴沉忧郁。他一开始就直截了当和坚决地请求公爵把对他隐瞒的一切情况讲清楚，并且说昨天他已经差不多全知道了。他被强烈而深深地震惊了。 公爵尽自己所能以极大的同情叙述了整个事情的来龙去脉，十分确凿地叙述了事实，可怜的男孩如遭五雷轰顶，惊呆了，他一句话也说不出来，默默地哭了起来。公爵觉得，这样的印象是会永远留在记忆中的，并将成为这个少年一生中的转折点。他急忙向他表达了自己对事情的看法，并补充说，在他看来，老人的死也许主要是因为犯了这样的过错以后留在他心间的恐惧造成的，并不是所有的人都能有这种感觉的，科利亚听完公爵的活，眼睛炯炯有光。 “不中用的加尼卡，瓦里娅和普季岑！我不会跟他们吵架，但是从此刻起我与他们各走各的路！啊，公爵，从昨天起我感知了许多新东西；这是我的教训！我认为现在母亲也应由我来赡养，虽然她在瓦里娅那里也是有保障的，但这毕竟不是办法……” 他想起家里正在等他，便跳起身，匆匆问了一下公爵的身体状况，听完回答后，突然急急地补充说： “有没有别的什么情况？我听说昨天……（不过，我没有权利知道），但是，如果什么时候和什么地方用得着忠实的仆人，那么这个仆人就在您面前。好像我们俩都不怎么走远，是这样吗？但是……我不问了，不问了……” 他走了，而公爵更陷于沉思中：大家都在预言将有不幸，大家已经做了结论，大家都在望着，似乎他们知道着什么他所不知道的事情。列别杰夫向他探询，科利亚直接在暗示，维拉则哭泣，最后，他懊丧地挥了一下手：“该死的疑心病！”他这么想。１点多钟时，当他看见叶潘钦家的人进来探望他，“待一会儿”，这时他的脸色才开朗起来。这些人确实是来一会儿。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜用过早餐后站起身后宣布，大家现在去散步，大家一起去。这一通知是以命令的形式下达时，简短生硬、刻板冷淡，不加说明。大家走了出来，也就是妈妈，三位小姐，ω公爵，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜径直朝每天走的相反方向走去。大家都明白是怎么回事，也都不吭声，怕惹恼了妈妈，而她象是要躲避指责和反对似的，头也不回地走在大家前面。阿杰莱达终于说，散步用不着走这么快，叫人都赶不上妈妈。 “听着，”突然叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜转过身来说，“现在我们就要从他门前经过。无论阿格拉娅怎么想，也不论以后会发生什么情况，他对我们来说不是陌生人，加上现在他又在不幸之中，而且有病在身，至少我是要去看他的，谁愿意跟我去的就去，谁不愿意的一”就从旁边经过，没人挡路。” 自然大家都进去了。公爵理所当然地急于为昨天打碎了花瓶和……出丑再次请求原谅。 “算了，这没有什么，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜回答说，“花瓶倒不可惜，可惜的是你。看来，现在你自己也承认是出丑了：‘第二天早晨……到底不一样，但是这也没关系，因为所有的人现在都看见了，对你是不好追究什么的。不过，好了，再见了，如果体力能行，就散一会步，然后再睡觉，这是我的忠告，如果你忽然想要来，还像过去那样来吧；你要永远相信，不论发生过什么事，不论出了什么事，你仍然是我家的朋友，至少是我的朋友。起码我能力自己担保……” 大家都对这一提议做出了反应，表示他们和妈妈的感情是一样的，他们说了这些亲切的鼓励话后就走了，在这种不加掩饰的仓促中隐藏着连叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜自己也没有意识到的许多冷酷的东西。在“像过去那佯”来的邀请中，在“至少是我的朋友”这句话中，又流露出某种预示。公爵开始回想阿格拉娅的态度，确实，在她进来和告别时，她都曾令人惊讶地对他嫣然一笑，但是她没有说一句话，甚至在人家表白对他的友情时，她也没有开口，虽然有两次凝神朝他看了一眼。她的脸色比平时苍白，仿佛她夜里睡得不好，公爵决定“像过去一样”晚上”一定到他们家去，并且焦躁地看了一下表。叶潘钦家的人走后过了３分钟，维拉走了进来。 “列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜刚才悄悄地让我转告您一句话。” 公爵不禁打起颤来。 “是便条？” “不是，是口头说的；连这也勉强来得及说。她十分请求您今天一整天一刻也不要出去，直到晚上７点或者甚至是９点，我当时听得不太清楚。” “可是……这样做是为什么呢？这是什么意思呢？” “我一点也不知道，只是嘱咐一定得转告。” “她真是这么说‘一定’？” “没有，她没直接说，因为就一转身的功夫，她刚来得及说完话，幸亏我自己跑近前去。但是从脸上看得出来，就像命令似的询问，是否一定转告。她望着我的样子，使我心都屏息不跳了……” 又问了几个问题，虽然公爵再也没有了解到更多的情况，然而他却更加惶惶不安起来。剩下他一人时，他躺到沙发上，又开始思忖，“也许，谁将在他们家，要耽到９点，而她又在为我担心，别在客人面前又闹出什么事来。”他最后想通了，于是又开始不耐烦地等着晚上降临和不时地看表，但是随之而来的谜底比晚上来得早得多。谜底也是通过新的来访揭开的，谜底又伴随着折磨人的新谜：叶潘钦家的人走后半小时，伊波利特到他这儿来。他疲惫不堪，走进来一句话也不说，像失去知觉似地一头倒到圈椅里，一刹时陷入难以忍受的剧咳之中。直至咳出血来。他目光闪闪发亮，两颊升起红晕。公爵对他低声说了些什么，但是他没有作答，而且好久都不回话，只是不停地摆手，要别人暂时别打扰他。最后他才恢复过来。 “我要走。”终于他用沙哑的噪子勉强说道。 “您愿意的话，我送您到家，”公爵从座位上欠起身说，但又停住了，因为想起刚才不许他走出家门的禁令。 伊波利特笑了起来。 “我不是从您这里走，”他不停地喘气和痉咳着说，“相反，我认为有必要到您这儿来，有事情……否则就不会来打扰了。我要到那里去了，这一次好像是真格的了。完蛋了！我不是为了得到同情，请相信……今天我从，１０点钟起就已经躺下了。已经根本不打算再起来了，直到那个时候，但是又改变了主意，又起来了，到您这儿来……看来，是有此必要的。” “瞧您这副样子真可怜；您该差人来叫我，总比自己挣扎着来好。” “好了，够了。您表示了怜惜，也就是说，对于上流社会的礼仪来说也足够了……对了，我忘了问，您身体怎样？” “我很好，昨天曾经……不太……” “我听说了，听说了。中国花瓶倒了霉。遗憾的是我不在！我到您这儿来有事。首先，今天我有幸见到加夫里拉。阿尔达利翁诺维奇跟阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜在约会，在绿色长椅那儿。使我惊讶的是，一个人的傻样可以达到何等地步。在加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇走开以后我向阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜本人指出了这一点……您好像丝毫也不感到惊奇，公爵，”他不信任地望着公爵平睁的脸，补充说，“据说，对什么都不觉得惊奇是大智的表现，据我看，这同样地也可以是大愚的表现……不过，我不是影射您，对不起……今天我用语表达很不顺当。” “还是在昨天我就知道加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇……”公爵停住不说了，显然他是不好意思再说了，因为伊被利特就那样也已经为他并不惊讶而感到懊丧了。 “您已经知道了！这真是新闻！不过，看来还是别讲吧……那您今天有没有见到他们的约会？” “既然您自己在那里，您不看见了，我没在场。” “算了，也许您是瞩在什么地方的扈木丛后面。不过，无论如何我很高兴，自然是为您高兴，不然我以为，加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇得到了青睐！” “我请您别跟我谈这件事，伊波利特，别用这样的词语。” “因为您已经全部知道了。” “您错了，我几乎什么也不知道，而且阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜也一定知道，我一无所知，我甚至连这约会也丝毫未闻……您说一曾经有过约会？算了，好吧，我们不谈这个……” “这是怎么回事，一会儿知道，一会儿又不知道了。您说：‘好了，我们不谈这个？’嘿，不，您别这么轻信！要是您不知道，您就尤其要这样。您之所以轻信，就因为您不知道。您是否知道这兄妹俩有什么盘算？也许，您在怀疑这一点？……好，好，我不说……”他注意到公爵不耐烦的手势，补充说，“但我来是为了自己的事，我想对这件事……做个解释。真见鬼，无论如何不能不做解释就死去，我现在要讲的话多得不得了，您愿意听完吗。” “说吧，我听着。” “不过，我又改变主意了：我还是从加尼奇卡说起吧，您能想象到吗，今天也约我到绿色长椅那儿去。不过，我不想撒谎：是我自己坚决要求约会的，我再三要求，许诺要揭示一个秘密，我不知道，我到得是否太早（好像，确实是早到了），但我刚刚在阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜身旁坐下，我便看到加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇和瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜出现了，他们俩挽着手，像是散步似的。两人遇见我，似乎非常吃惊；他们没有料到我在，甚至显得很局促不安。阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜一下子脸涨得绯红，信不信由您，她甚至有点不知所措，是由于我在场呢，还是就只是由于看见了加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，因为他实在太漂亮了，但她仅仅是满脸通红，一秒钟内她就了结了事情，很可笑：她欠了欠身作为对加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇的鞠躬和对瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜献媚的微笑的答礼，接着一下子断然说：‘我只是为了向你们表示，对你们的真挚友好的感情我个人感到欣慰，如果将来我需要这种感情，那么请相信……’说到这里她避开了，他们俩也就走了，我不知道，他们是稀里糊涂呢，还是洋洋得意。加尼奇卡当然是稀里糊涂，他什么也辨不出来，脸红得象只虾（他脸上的表情有时令人惊讶），但瓦尔瓦拉· 阿尔达利翁诺夫娜似乎明白了，应该尽快走开，再说从阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜嘴里说出这样的话已经足够了，她就拖开了兄长。她比他聪明，我深信，现在他正得意呢，而我去是要跟阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜谈一谈，商量与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜见面的事。” “跟纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜！”公爵喊了起来。 “啊哈！看来，您失去冷静，开始惊讶了。我很高兴看到，您愿意像一个常人那样，为此我要让您开开心。今天我挨了她一记耳光，这就是为高贵心灵的年轻小姐效劳的结果！” “精神上的耳光。”公爵有点不由自主的问道。 “是的，不是肉体上的，我觉得，无论是谁都抬不起手来打我这样的人，即使是女人现在也不会打，甚至加尼亚也不会打！虽然昨天我一度这样想过，以为他会向我猛扑过来……我敢打赌，我知道您现在在想什么？您在想：‘假定说，打他是不应该，但可以乘他睡着时用枕头或湿抹布把他闷死，甚至是应该这样做的’……您的脸上写着，此刻您想的是这个。” “我从来都没有这样想过！”公爵厌恶地说。 “我不知道，今天夜里我做了个梦，梦见一个人……用湿抹布闷死了我……好了，我告诉您是准：您想象一下一”是罗戈任！您认为，用湿抹布能闷死人吗。” “我不知道。” “我听说是能闷死人的。好，我们不谈这个。嘿，凭什么我是个搬弄是非的人？凭什么她今天骂我是搬弄是非的人？请注意，那已经是在她听完了最后一句话并且还重问了一些问题后说的……但女人就是这样的！为了她我才与罗戈任有来往，这倒是个有意思的人；为了她的利益我才为她安排与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的个人约会。莫非是因为我影射她乐于受用纳斯培西娅·费利帕夫娜的‘残羹剩饭’，伤了她的自尊心？其实我一直对她讲这个道理也是为了她的利益，我不抵赖，我给她写过两封这类内容的信，今天是第三次，是会面……刚才我是这样开始对她说的，我认为这对她来说是有损尊严的……再说‘残羹剩饭’这个字眼也不是我自己想出来的，是别人说的，至少加尼奇卡家里大家都这么说；她自己也是承认的。嘿，那又为什么她要骂我是搬弄是非的人？我看出来了，看出来了，您现在望着我，这副样子可笑极了，我敢打赌，您正在用两句愚蠢的诗句来比我： 也许，在我哀伤的临终时刻， 爱情将会闪露出告别的微笑。 “哈－哈－哈……突然他发出一阵歇斯底里的笑声并且咳嗽起来。“请注意，”他夹着咳嗽嘶哑地说，“加尼奇卡是什么东西；是他说的‘残羹剩饭”，可现在自己倒想受用！” 公爵好久都没有说话，他惊骇不已。 “您说的是与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜会面。”他终于喃喃说。 “哎，难道您真的不知道，今天阿洛拉娅·伊万诺夫娜将与纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜会面。为此纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜特地从彼得堡来，是阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜通过罗戈任邀请的，再加上我的斡旋，现在她与罗戈任一起住在离您完全不远的地方，还是过去那幢房子，在达里娅·阿列克谢耶夫娜那里……这是她的女友，一位身份颇为可疑的太太。阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜今天就要到这家可疑的人家去跟纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜进行一场友好的谈后来解决各种问题。她们想算算明白事理。您不知道吗？您这是实话？” “这难以置信！” “既然难以置信，那就算了，好吧；不过您又从哪儿知道这不可信呢？可信呢？在这里哪怕飞过一只苍蝇，也就已经众所周知了：这个小地方就是这样的！但是我已经预先通知过您了，我可以得到您的感激了，好了，再见——大概要在阴间了。还有一件事：我虽然对您做了卑鄙的事，因为……我何必要失去自己想要的东西呢？请想想，是为了使您得到好处吗，要知道我的《自白》是献给她的（您不知道这点吗？）而且她是怎么接受的呀！嘻－嘻！但是我对她没有做过卑鄙的事，我没有任何对不起她的地方；她却羞辱了我，使我陷入窘境……不过，我也丝毫没有对不起您；要说刚才提到‘残羹剩饭’这类话，那么现在我已告诉您会面的日子，钟点和地址，揭开了整个这场游戏的秘密……当然，是出了烦恼，而不是大变。告辞了，我，作为一个结已的人和肺病患者，真是太饶舌了；看看点，采取措施吧，要尽快，如果您配得上称作人的话。会面是在今天晚上，这是确切的。” 伊波利特朝门口走去，但公爵喊了他一声，于是他在门口停下了。 “这么说，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜照您说的，今天要亲自去见纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜？”公爵问。他的脸颊上、额头上现出了红晕。 “确切的我也不知道，但是想必是这样，”伊波利特半回过头来作答，“不过也不可能是别的。总不见得纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜到她哪儿去吧：再说也不是在加尼奇卡那里；他那里几乎有个死人躺着。将军情况怎么样了？” “光凭这一点就不可能！”公爵附和说，“即使阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜愿意，她又怎么走得出来？您不知道……这家人家的规矩：她不能一个人去纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那儿；这是荒唐的！” “要知道，公爵：好端端谁也不会从。窗户里跳出来，可是一发生火灾，那么，大概最上流的绅士和最上流的女士也会从窗户里跳出来的，如果有必要，又没有别的办法，我们的小姐就....."

Part 4 Chapter 7 WHILE he feasted his eyes upon Aglaya, as she talked merrily with Evgenie and Prince N., suddenly the old anglomaniac, who was talking to the dignitary in another corner of the room, apparently telling him a story about something or other--suddenly this gentleman pronounced the name of "Nicolai Andreevitch Pavlicheff" aloud. The prince quickly turned towards him, and listened. The conversation had been on the subject of land, and the present disorders, and there must have been something amusing said, for the old man had begun to laugh at his companion's heated expressions. The latter was describing in eloquent words how, in consequence of recent legislation, he was obliged to sell a beautiful estate in the N. province, not because he wanted ready money--in fact, he was obliged to sell it at half its value. "To avoid another lawsuit about the Pavlicheff estate, I ran away," he said. "With a few more inheritances of that kind I should soon be ruined!" At this point General Epanchin, noticing how interested Muishkin had become in the conversation, said to him, in a low tone: "That gentleman--Ivan Petrovitch--is a relation of your late friend, Mr. Pavlicheff. You wanted to find some of his relations, did you not?" The general, who had been talking to his chief up to this moment, had observed the prince's solitude and silence, and was anxious to draw him into the conversation, and so introduce him again to the notice of some of the important personages. "Lef Nicolaievitch was a ward of Nicolai Andreevitch Pavlicheff, after the death of his own parents," he remarked, meeting Ivan Petrovitch's eye. "Very happy to meet him, I'm sure," remarked the latter. "I remember Lef Nicolaievitch well. When General Epanchin introduced us just now, I recognized you at once, prince. You are very little changed, though I saw you last as a child of some ten or eleven years old. There was something in your features, I suppose, that--" "You saw me as a child!" exclaimed the prince, with surprise. "Oh! yes, long ago," continued Ivan Petrovitch, "while you were living with my cousin at Zlatoverhoff. You don't remember me? No, I dare say you don't; you had some malady at the time, I remember. It was so serious that I was surprised--" "No; I remember nothing!" said the prince. A few more words of explanation followed, words which were spoken without the smallest excitement by his companion, but which evoked the greatest agitation in the prince; and it was discovered that two old ladies to whose care the prince had been left by Pavlicheff, and who lived at Zlatoverhoff, were also relations of Ivan Petrovitch. The latter had no idea and could give no information as to why Pavlicheff had taken so great an interest in the little prince, his ward. "In point of fact I don't think I thought much about it," said the old fellow. He seemed to have a wonderfully good memory, however, for he told the prince all about the two old ladies, Pavlicheff's cousins, who had taken care of him, and whom, he declared, he had taken to task for being too severe with the prince as a small sickly boy--the elder sister, at least; the younger had been kind, he recollected. They both now lived in another province, on a small estate left to them by Pavlicheff. The prince listened to all this with eyes sparkling with emotion and delight. He declared with unusual warmth that he would never forgive himself for having travelled about in the central provinces during these last six months without having hunted up his two old friends. He declared, further, that he had intended to go every day, but had always been prevented by circumstances; but that now he would promise himself the pleasure--however far it was, he would find them out. And so Ivan Petrovitch REALLY knew Natalia Nikitishna!- -what a saintly nature was hers!--and Martha Nikitishna! Ivan Petrovitch must excuse him, but really he was not quite fair on dear old Martha. She was severe, perhaps; but then what else could she be with such a little idiot as he was then? (Ha, ha.) He really was an idiot then, Ivan Petrovitch must know, though he might not believe it. (Ha, ha.) So he had really seen him there! Good heavens! And was he really and truly and actually a cousin of Pavlicheff's? "I assure you of it," laughed Ivan Petrovitch, gazing amusedly at the prince. "Oh! I didn't say it because I DOUBT the fact, you know. (Ha, ha.) How could I doubt such a thing? (Ha, ha, ha.) I made the remark because--because Nicolai Andreevitch Pavlicheff was such a splendid man, don't you see! Such a high-souled man, he really was, I assure you." The prince did not exactly pant for breath, but he "seemed almost to CHOKE out of pure simplicity and goodness of heart," as Adelaida expressed it, on talking the party over with her fiance, the Prince S., next morning. "But, my goodness me," laughed Ivan Petrovitch, "why can't I be cousin to even a splendid man?" "Oh, dear!" cried the prince, confused, trying to hurry his words out, and growing more and more eager every moment: "I've gone and said another stupid thing. I don't know what to say. I--I didn't mean that, you know--I--I--he really was such a splendid man, wasn't he?" The prince trembled all over. Why was he so agitated? Why had he flown into such transports of delight without any apparent reason? He had far outshot the measure of joy and emotion consistent with the occasion. Why this was it would be difficult to say. He seemed to feel warmly and deeply grateful to someone for something or other--perhaps to Ivan Petrovitch; but likely enough to all the guests, individually, and collectively. He was much too happy. Ivan Petrovitch began to stare at him with some surprise; the dignitary, too, looked at him with considerable attention; Princess Bielokonski glared at him angrily, and compressed her lips. Prince N., Evgenie, Prince S., and the girls, all broke off their own conversations and listened. Aglaya seemed a little startled; as for Lizabetha Prokofievna, her heart sank within her. This was odd of Lizabetha Prokofievna and her daughters. They had themselves decided that it would be better if the prince did not talk all the evening. Yet seeing him sitting silent and alone, but perfectly happy, they had been on the point of exerting themselves to draw him into one of the groups of talkers around the room. Now that he was in the midst of a talk they became more than ever anxious and perturbed. "That he was a splendid man is perfectly true; you are quite right," repeated Ivan Petrovitch, but seriously this time. "He was a fine and a worthy fellow--worthy, one may say, of the highest respect," he added, more and more seriously at each pause; " and it is agreeable to see, on your part, such--" "Wasn't it this same Pavlicheff about whom there was a strange story in connection with some abbot? I don't remember who the abbot was, but I remember at one time everybody was talking about it," remarked the old dignitary. "Yes--Abbot Gurot, a Jesuit," said Ivan Petrovitch. "Yes, that's the sort of thing our best men are apt to do. A man of rank, too, and rich--a man who, if he had continued to serve, might have done anything; and then to throw up the service and everything else in order to go over to Roman Catholicism and turn Jesuit-- openly, too--almost triumphantly. By Jove! it was positively a mercy that he died when he did--it was indeed--everyone said so at the time." The prince was beside himself. "Pavlicheff?--Pavlicheff turned Roman Catholic? Impossible!" he cried, in horror. "H'm! impossible is rather a strong word," said Ivan Petrovitch. "You must allow, my dear prince... However, of course you value the memory of the deceased so very highly; and he certainly was the kindest of men; to which fact, by the way, I ascribe, more than to anything else, the success of the abbot in influencing his religious convictions. But you may ask me, if you please, how much trouble and worry I, personally, had over that business, and especially with this same Gurot! Would you believe it," he continued, addressing the dignitary, "they actually tried to put in a claim under the deceased's will, and I had to resort to the very strongest measures in order to bring them to their senses? I assure you they knew their cue, did these gentlemen-- wonderful! Thank goodness all this was in Moscow, and I got the Court, you know, to help me, and we soon brought them to their senses. "You wouldn't believe how you have pained and astonished me," cried the prince. "Very sorry; but in point of fact, you know, it was all nonsense and would have ended in smoke, as usual--I'm sure of that. Last year,"--he turned to the old man again,--"Countess K. joined some Roman Convent abroad. Our people never seem to be able to offer any resistance so soon as they get into the hands of these-- intriguers--especially abroad." "That is all thanks to our lassitude, I think," replied the old man, with authority. "And then their way of preaching; they have a skilful manner of doing it! And they know how to startle one, too. I got quite a fright myself in '32, in Vienna, I assure you; but I didn't cave in to them, I ran away instead, ha, ha!" "Come, come, I've always heard that you ran away with the beautiful Countess Levitsky that time--throwing up everything in order to do it--and not from the Jesuits at all," said Princess Bielokonski, suddenly. "Well, yes--but we call it from the Jesuits, you know; it comes to the same thing," laughed the old fellow, delighted with the pleasant recollection. "You seem to be very religious," he continued, kindly, addressing the prince," which is a thing one meets so seldom nowadays among young people." The prince was listening open-mouthed, and still in a condition of excited agitation. The old man was evidently interested in him, and anxious to study him more closely. "Pavlicheff was a man of bright intellect and a good Christian, a sincere Christian," said the prince, suddenly. "How could he possibly embrace a faith which is unchristian? Roman Catholicism is, so to speak, simply the same thing as unchristianity," he added with flashing eyes, which seemed to take in everybody in the room. "Come, that's a little TOO strong, isn't it?" murmured the old man, glancing at General Epanchin in surprise. "How do you make out that the Roman Catholic religion is UNCHRISTIAN? What is it, then?" asked Ivan Petrovitch, turning to the prince. "It is not a Christian religion, in the first place," said the latter, in extreme agitation, quite out of proportion to the necessity of the moment. "And in the second place, Roman Catholicism is, in my opinion, worse than Atheism itself. Yes-- that is my opinion. Atheism only preaches a negation, but Romanism goes further; it preaches a disfigured, distorted Christ--it preaches Anti-Christ--I assure you, I swear it! This is my own personal conviction, and it has long distressed me. The Roman Catholic believes that the Church on earth cannot stand without universal temporal Power. He cries 'non possumus!' In my opinion the Roman Catholic religion is not a faith at all, but simply a continuation of the Roman Empire, and everything is subordinated to this idea--beginning with faith. The Pope has seized territories and an earthly throne, and has held them with the sword. And so the thing has gone on, only that to the sword they have added lying, intrigue, deceit, fanaticism, superstition, swindling;--they have played fast and loose with the most sacred and sincere feelings of men;--they have exchanged everything--everything for money, for base earthly POWER! And is this not the teaching of Anti-Christ? How could the upshot of all this be other than Atheism? Atheism is the child of Roman Catholicism--it proceeded from these Romans themselves, though perhaps they would not believe it. It grew and fattened on hatred of its parents; it is the progeny of their lies and spiritual feebleness. Atheism! In our country it is only among the upper classes that you find unbelievers; men who have lost the root or spirit of their faith; but abroad whole masses of the people are beginning to profess unbelief--at first because of the darkness and lies by which they were surrounded; but now out of fanaticism, out of loathing for the Church and Christianity!" The prince paused to get breath. He had spoken with extraordinary rapidity, and was very pale. All present interchanged glances, but at last the old dignitary burst out laughing frankly. Prince N. took out his eye-glass to have a good look at the speaker. The German poet came out of his corner and crept nearer to the table, with a spiteful smile. "You exaggerate the matter very much," said Ivan Petrovitch, with rather a bored air. "There are, in the foreign Churches, many representatives of their faith who are worthy of respect and esteem." "Oh, but I did not speak of individual representatives. I was merely talking about Roman Catholicism, and its essence--of Rome itself. A Church can never entirely disappear; I never hinted at that!" "Agreed that all this may be true; but we need not discuss a subject which belongs to the domain of theology." "Oh, no; oh, no! Not to theology alone, I assure you! Why, Socialism is the progeny of Romanism and of the Romanistic spirit. It and its brother Atheism proceed from Despair in opposition to Catholicism. It seeks to replace in itself the moral power of religion, in order to appease the spiritual thirst of parched humanity and save it; not by Christ, but by force. 'Don't dare to believe in God, don't dare to possess any individuality, any property! Fraternite ou la Mort; two million heads. 'By their works ye shall know them'--we are told. And we must not suppose that all this is harmless and without danger to ourselves. Oh, no; we must resist, and quickly, quickly! We must let out Christ shine forth upon the Western nations, our Christ whom we have preserved intact, and whom they have never known. Not as slaves, allowing ourselves to be caught by the hooks of the Jesuits, but carrying our Russian civilization to THEM, we must stand before them, not letting it be said among us that their preaching is 'skilful,' as someone expressed it just now." "But excuse me, excuse me;" cried Ivan Petrovitch considerably disturbed, and looking around uneasily. "Your ideas are, of course, most praiseworthy, and in the highest degree patriotic; but you exaggerate the matter terribly. It would be better if we dropped the subject." "No, sir, I do not exaggerate, I understate the matter, if anything, undoubtedly understate it; simply because I cannot express myself as I should like, but--" "Allow me!" The prince was silent. He sat straight up in his chair and gazed fervently at Ivan Petrovitch. "It seems to me that you have been too painfully impressed by the news of what happened to your good benefactor," said the old dignitary, kindly, and with the utmost calmness of demeanour. "You are excitable, perhaps as the result of your solitary life. If you would make up your mind to live more among your fellows in society, I trust, I am sure, that the world would be glad to welcome you, as a remarkable young man; and you would soon find yourself able to look at things more calmly. You would see that all these things are much simpler than you think; and, besides, these rare cases come about, in my opinion, from ennui and from satiety." "Exactly, exactly! That is a true thought!" cried the prince. "From ennui, from our ennui but not from satiety! Oh, no, you are wrong there! Say from THIRST if you like; the thirst of fever! And please do not suppose that this is so small a matter that we may have a laugh at it and dismiss it; we must be able to foresee our disasters and arm against them. We Russians no sooner arrive at the brink of the water, and realize that we are really at the brink, than we are so delighted with the outlook that in we plunge and swim to the farthest point we can see. Why is this? You say you are surprised at Pavlicheff's action; you ascribe it to madness, to kindness of heart, and what not, but it is not so. "Our Russian intensity not only astonishes ourselves; all Europe wonders at our conduct in such cases! For, if one of us goes over to Roman Catholicism, he is sure to become a Jesuit at once, and a rabid one into the bargain. If one of us becomes an Atheist, he must needs begin to insist on the prohibition of faith in God by force, that is, by the sword. Why is this? Why does he then exceed all bounds at once? Because he has found land at last, the fatherland that he sought in vain before; and, because his soul is rejoiced to find it, he throws himself upon it and kisses it! Oh, it is not from vanity alone, it is not from feelings of vanity that Russians become Atheists and Jesuits! But from spiritual thirst, from anguish of longing for higher things, for dry firm land, for foothold on a fatherland which they never believed in because they never knew it. It is easier for a Russian to become an Atheist, than for any other nationality in the world. And not only does a Russian 'become an Atheist,' but he actually BELIEVES IN Atheism, just as though he had found a new faith, not perceiving that he has pinned his faith to a negation. Such is our anguish of thirst! 'Whoso has no country has no God.' That is not my own expression; it is the expression of a merchant, one of the Old Believers, whom I once met while travelling. He did not say exactly these words. I think his expression was: "'Whoso forsakes his country forsakes his God.' "But let these thirsty Russian souls find, like Columbus' discoverers, a new world; let them find the Russian world, let them search and discover all the gold and treasure that lies hid in the bosom of their own land! Show them the restitution of lost humanity, in the future, by Russian thought alone, and by means of the God and of the Christ of our Russian faith, and you will see how mighty and just and wise and good a giant will rise up before the eyes of the astonished and frightened world; astonished because they expect nothing but the sword from us, because they think they will get nothing out of us but barbarism. This has been the case up to now, and the longer matters go on as they are now proceeding, the more clear will be the truth of what I say; and I--" But at this moment something happened which put a most unexpected end to the orator's speech. All this heated tirade, this outflow of passionate words and ecstatic ideas which seemed to hustle and tumble over each other as they fell from his lips, bore evidence of some unusually disturbed mental condition in the young fellow who had "boiled over" in such a remarkable manner, without any apparent reason. Of those who were present, such as knew the prince listened to his outburst in a state of alarm, some with a feeling of mortification. It was so unlike his usual timid self-constraint; so inconsistent with his usual taste and tact, and with his instinctive feeling for the higher proprieties. They could not understand the origin of the outburst; it could not be simply the news of Pavlicheff's perversion. By the ladies the prince was regarded as little better than a lunatic, and Princess Bielokonski admitted afterwards that "in another minute she would have bolted." The two old gentlemen looked quite alarmed. The old general (Epanchin's chief) sat and glared at the prince in severe displeasure. The colonel sat immovable. Even the German poet grew a little pale, though he wore his usual artificial smile as he looked around to see what the others would do. In point of fact it is quite possible that the matter would have ended in a very commonplace and natural way in a few minutes. The undoubtedly astonished, but now more collected, General Epanchin had several times endeavoured to interrupt the prince, and not having succeeded he was now preparing to take firmer and more vigorous measures to attain his end. In another minute or two he would probably have made up his mind to lead the prince quietly out of the room, on the plea of his being ill (and it was more than likely that the general was right in his belief that the prince WAS actually ill), but it so happened that destiny had something different in store. At the beginning of the evening, when the prince first came into the room, he had sat down as far as possible from the Chinese vase which Aglaya had spoken of the day before. Will it be believed that, after Aglaya's alarming words, an ineradicable conviction had taken possession of his mind that, however he might try to avoid this vase next day, he must certainly break it? But so it was. During the evening other impressions began to awaken in his mind, as we have seen, and he forgot his presentiment. But when Pavlicheff was mentioned and the general introduced him to Ivan Petrovitch, he had changed his place, and went over nearer to the table; when, it so happened, he took the chair nearest to the beautiful vase, which stood on a pedestal behind him, just about on a level with his elbow. As he spoke his last words he had risen suddenly from his seat with a wave of his arm, and there was a general cry of horror. The huge vase swayed backwards and forwards; it seemed to be uncertain whether or no to topple over on to the head of one of the old men, but eventually determined to go the other way, and came crashing over towards the German poet, who darted out of the way in terror. The crash, the cry, the sight of the fragments of valuable china covering the carpet, the alarm of the company--what all this meant to the poor prince it would be difficult to convey to the mind of the reader, or for him to imagine. But one very curious fact was that all the shame and vexation and mortification which he felt over the accident were less powerful than the deep impression of the almost supernatural truth of his premonition. He stood still in alarm--in almost superstitious alarm, for a moment; then all mists seemed to clear away from his eyes; he was conscious of nothing but light and joy and ecstasy; his breath came and went; but the moment passed. Thank God it was not that! He drew a long breath and looked around. For some minutes he did not seem to comprehend the excitement around him; that is, he comprehended it and saw everything, but he stood aside, as it were, like someone invisible in a fairy tale, as though he had nothing to do with what was going on, though it pleased him to take an interest in it. He saw them gather up the broken bits of china; he heard the loud talking of the guests and observed how pale Aglaya looked, and how very strangely she was gazing at him. There was no hatred in her expression, and no anger whatever. It was full of alarm for him, and sympathy and affection, while she looked around at the others with flashing, angry eyes. His heart filled with a sweet pain as he gazed at her. At length he observed, to his amazement, that all had taken their seats again, and were laughing and talking as though nothing had happened. Another minute and the laughter grew louder--they were laughing at him, at his dumb stupor--laughing kindly and merrily. Several of them spoke to him, and spoke so kindly and cordially, especially Lizabetha Prokofievna--she was saying the kindest possible things to him. Suddenly he became aware that General Epanchin was tapping him on the shoulder; Ivan Petrovitch was laughing too, but still more kind and sympathizing was the old dignitary. He took the prince by the hand and pressed it warmly; then he patted it, and quietly urged him to recollect himself--speaking to him exactly as he would have spoken to a little frightened child, which pleased the prince wonderfully; and next seated him beside himself. The prince gazed into his face with pleasure, but still seemed to have no power to speak. His breath failed him. The old man's face pleased him greatly. "Do you really forgive me?" he said at last. "And--and Lizabetha Prokofievna too?" The laugh increased, tears came into the prince's eyes, he could not believe in all this kindness--he was enchanted. "The vase certainly was a very beautiful one. I remember it here for fifteen years--yes, quite that!" remarked Ivan Petrovitch. "Oh, what a dreadful calamity! A wretched vase smashed, and a man half dead with remorse about it," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, loudly. "What made you so dreadfully startled, Lef Nicolaievitch?" she added, a little timidly. "Come, my dear boy! cheer up. You really alarm me, taking the accident so to heart." "Do you forgive me all--ALL, besides the vase, I mean?" said the prince, rising from his seat once more, but the old gentleman caught his hand and drew him down again--he seemed unwilling to let him go. "C'est tres-curieux et c'est tres-serieux," he whispered across the table to Ivan Petrovitch, rather loudly. Probably the prince heard him. "So that I have not offended any of you? You will not believe how happy I am to be able to think so. It is as it should be. As if I COULD offend anyone here! I should offend you again by even suggesting such a thing." "Calm yourself, my dear fellow. You are exaggerating again; you really have no occasion to be so grateful to us. It is a feeling which does you great credit, but an exaggeration, for all that." "I am not exactly thanking you, I am only feeling a growing admiration for you--it makes me happy to look at you. I dare say I am speaking very foolishly, but I must speak--I must explain, if it be out of nothing better than self-respect." All he said and did was abrupt, confused, feverish--very likely the words he spoke, as often as not, were not those he wished to say. He seemed to inquire whether he MIGHT speak. His eyes lighted on Princess Bielokonski. "All right, my friend, talk away, talk away!" she remarked. "Only don't lose your breath; you were in such a hurry when you began, and look what you've come to now! Don't be afraid of speaking-- all these ladies and gentlemen have seen far stranger people than yourself; you don't astonish THEM. You are nothing out-of-the-way remarkable, you know. You've done nothing but break a vase, and give us all a fright." The prince listened, smiling. "Wasn't it you," he said, suddenly turning to the old gentleman, "who saved the student Porkunoff and a clerk called Shoabrin from being sent to Siberia, two or three months since?" The old dignitary blushed a little, and murmured that the prince had better not excite himself further. "And I have heard of YOU," continued the prince, addressing Ivan Petrovitch, "that when some of your villagers were burned out you gave them wood to build up their houses again, though they were no longer your serfs and had behaved badly towards you." "Oh, come, come! You are exaggerating," said Ivan Petrovitch, beaming with satisfaction, all the same. He was right, however, in this instance, for the report had reached the prince's ears in an incorrect form. "And you, princess," he went on, addressing Princess Bielokonski, "was it not you who received me in Moscow, six months since, as kindly as though I had been your own son, in response to a letter from Lizabetha Prokofievna; and gave me one piece of advice, again as to your own son, which I shall never forget? Do you remember?" "What are you making such a fuss about?" said the old lady, with annoyance. "You are a good fellow, but very silly. One gives you a halfpenny, and you are as grateful as though one had saved your life. You think this is praiseworthy on your part, but it is not --it is not, indeed." She seemed to be very angry, but suddenly burst out laughing, quite good-humouredly. Lizabetha Prokofievna's face brightened up, too; so did that of General Epanchin. "I told you Lef Nicolaievitch was a man--a man--if only he would not be in such a hurry, as the princess remarked," said the latter, with delight. Aglaya alone seemed sad and depressed; her face was flushed, perhaps with indignation. "He really is very charming," whispered the old dignitary to Ivan Petrovitch. "I came into this room with anguish in my heart," continued the prince, with ever-growing agitation, speaking quicker and quicker, and with increasing strangeness. "I--I was afraid of you all, and afraid of myself. I was most afraid of myself. When I returned to Petersburg, I promised myself to make a point of seeing our greatest men, and members of our oldest families--the old families like my own. I am now among princes like myself, am I not? I wished to know you, and it was necessary, very, very necessary. I had always heard so much that was evil said of you all--more evil than good; as to how small and petty were your interests, how absurd your habits, how shallow your education, and so on. There is so much written and said about you! I came here today with anxious curiosity; I wished to see for myself and form my own convictions as to whether it were true that the whole of this upper stratum of Russian society is WORTHLESS, has outlived its time, has existed too long, and is only fit to die-- and yet is dying with petty, spiteful warring against that which is destined to supersede it and take its place--hindering the Coming Men, and knowing not that itself is in a dying condition. I did not fully believe in this view even before, for there never was such a class among us--excepting perhaps at court, by accident--or by uniform; but now there is not even that, is there? It has vanished, has it not?" "No, not a bit of it," said Ivan Petrovitch, with a sarcastic laugh. "Good Lord, he's off again!" said Princess Bielokonski, impatiently. "Laissez-le dire! He is trembling all over," said the old man, in a warning whisper. The prince certainly was beside himself. "Well? What have I seen?" he continued. "I have seen men of graceful simplicity of intellect; I have seen an old man who is not above speaking kindly and even LISTENING to a boy like myself; I see before me persons who can understand, who can forgive--kind, good Russian hearts--hearts almost as kind and cordial as I met abroad. Imagine how delighted I must have been, and how surprised! Oh, let me express this feeling! I have so often heard, and I have even believed, that in society there was nothing but empty forms, and that reality had vanished; but I now see for myself that this can never be the case HERE, among us--it may be the order elsewhere, but not in Russia. Surely you are not all Jesuits and deceivers! I heard Prince N.'s story just now. Was it not simple-minded, spontaneous humour? Could such words come from the lips of a man who is dead?--a man whose heart and talents are dried up? Could dead men and women have treated me so kindly as you have all been treating me to-day? Is there not material for the future in all this--for hope? Can such people fail to UNDERSTAND? Can such men fall away from reality?" "Once more let us beg you to be calm, my dear boy. We'll talk of all this another time--I shall do so with the greatest pleasure, for one," said the old dignitary, with a smile. Ivan Petrovitch grunted and twisted round in his chair. General Epanchin moved nervously. The latter's chief had started a conversation with the wife of the dignitary, and took no notice whatever of the prince, but the old lady very often glanced at him, and listened to what he was saying. "No, I had better speak," continued the prince, with a new outburst of feverish emotion, and turning towards the old man with an air of confidential trustfulness." Yesterday, Aglaya Ivanovna forbade me to talk, and even specified the particular subjects I must not touch upon--she knows well enough that I am odd when I get upon these matters. I am nearly twenty-seven years old, and yet I know I am little better than a child. I have no right to express my ideas, and said so long ago. Only in Moscow, with Rogojin, did I ever speak absolutely freely! He and I read Pushkin together--all his works. Rogojin knew nothing of Pushkin, had not even heard his name. I am always afraid of spoiling a great Thought or Idea by my absurd manner. I have no eloquence, I know. I always make the wrong gestures-- inappropriate gestures--and therefore I degrade the Thought, and raise a laugh instead of doing my subject justice. I have no sense of proportion either, and that is the chief thing. I know it would be much better if I were always to sit still and say nothing. When I do so, I appear to be quite a sensible sort of a person, and what's more, I think about things. But now I must speak; it is better that I should. I began to speak because you looked so kindly at me; you have such a beautiful face. I promised Aglaya Ivanovna yesterday that I would not speak all the evening." "Really?" said the old man, smiling. "But, at times, I can't help thinking that I am. wrong in feeling so about it, you know. Sincerity is more important than elocution, isn't it?" "Sometimes." "I want to explain all to you--everything--everything! I know you think me Utopian, don't you--an idealist? Oh, no! I'm not, indeed--my ideas are all so simple. You don't believe me? You are smiling. Do you know, I am sometimes very wicked--for I lose my faith? This evening as I came here, I thought to myself, 'What shall I talk about? How am I to begin, so that they may be able to understand partially, at all events?' How afraid I was-- dreadfully afraid! And yet, how COULD I be afraid--was it not shameful of me? Was I afraid of finding a bottomless abyss of empty selfishness? Ah! that's why I am so happy at this moment, because I find there is no bottomless abyss at all--but good, healthy material, full of life. "It is not such a very dreadful circumstance that we are odd people, is it? For we really are odd, you know--careless, reckless, easily wearied of anything. We don't look thoroughly into matters--don't care to understand things. We are all like this--you and I, and all of them! Why, here are you, now--you are not a bit angry with me for calling you odd,' are you? And, if so, surely there is good material in you? Do you know, I sometimes think it is a good thing to be odd. We can forgive one another more easily, and be more humble. No one can begin by being perfect--there is much one cannot understand in life at first. In order to attain to perfection, one must begin by failing to understand much. And if we take in knowledge too quickly, we very likely are not taking it in at all. I say all this to you--you who by this time understand so much--and doubtless have failed to understand so much, also. I am not afraid of you any longer. You are not angry that a mere boy should say such words to you, are you? Of course not! You know how to forget and to forgive. You are laughing, Ivan Petrovitch? You think I am a champion of other classes of people--that I am THEIR advocate, a democrat, and an orator of Equality?" The prince laughed hysterically; he had several times burst into these little, short nervous laughs. "Oh, no--it is for you, for myself, and for all of us together, that I am alarmed. I am a prince of an old family myself, and I am sitting among my peers; and I am talking like this in the hope of saving us all; in the hope that our class will not disappear altogether--into the darkness--unguessing its danger--blaming everything around it, and losing ground every day. Why should we disappear and give place to others, when we may still, if we choose, remain in the front rank and lead the battle? Let us be servants, that we may become lords in due season!" He tried to get upon his feet again, but the old man still restrained him, gazing at him with increasing perturbation as he went on. "Listen--I know it is best not to speak! It is best simply to give a good example--simply to begin the work. I have done this-- I have begun, and--and--oh! CAN anyone be unhappy, really? Oh! what does grief matter--what does misfortune matter, if one knows how to be happy? Do you know, I cannot understand how anyone can pass by a green tree, and not feel happy only to look at it! How anyone can talk to a man and not feel happy in loving him! Oh, it is my own fault that I cannot express myself well enough! But there are lovely things at every step I take--things which even the most miserable man must recognize as beautiful. Look at a little child--look at God's day-dawn--look at the grass growing-- look at the eyes that love you, as they gaze back into your eyes!" He had risen, and was speaking standing up. The old gentleman was looking at him now in unconcealed alarm. Lizabetha Prokofievna wrung her hands. "Oh, my God!" she cried. She had guessed the state of the case before anyone else. Aglaya rushed quickly up to him, and was just in time to receive him in her arms, and to hear with dread and horror that awful, wild cry as he fell writhing to the ground. There he lay on the carpet, and someone quickly placed a cushion under his head. No one had expected this. In a quarter of an hour or so Prince N. and Evgenie Pavlovitch and the old dignitary were hard at work endeavouring to restore the harmony of the evening, but it was of no avail, and very soon after the guests separated and went their ways. A great deal of sympathy was expressed; a considerable amount of advice was volunteered; Ivan Petrovitch expressed his opinion that the young man was "a Slavophile, or something of that sort"; but that it was not a dangerous development. The old dignitary said nothing. True enough, most of the guests, next day and the day after, were not in very good humour. Ivan Petrovitch was a little offended, but not seriously so. General Epanchin's chief was rather cool towards him for some while after the occurrence. The old dignitary, as patron of the family, took the opportunity of murmuring some kind of admonition to the general, and added, in flattering terms, that he was most interested in Aglaya's future. He was a man who really did possess a kind heart, although his interest in the prince, in the earlier part of the evening, was due, among other reasons, to the latter's connection with Nastasia Philipovna, according to popular report. He had heard a good deal of this story here and there, and was greatly interested in it, so much so that he longed to ask further questions about it. Princess Bielokonski, as she drove away on this eventful evening, took occasion to say to Lizabetha Prokofievna: "Well--he's a good match--and a bad one; and if you want my opinion, more bad than good. You can see for yourself the man is an invalid." Lizabetha therefore decided that the prince was impossible as a husband for Aglaya; and during the ensuing night she made a vow that never while she lived should he marry Aglaya. With this resolve firmly impressed upon her mind, she awoke next day; but during the morning, after her early lunch, she fell into a condition of remarkable inconsistency. In reply to a very guarded question of her sisters', Aglaya had answered coldly, but exceedingly haughtily: "I have never given him my word at all, nor have I ever counted him as my future husband--never in my life. He is just as little to me as all the rest." Lizabetha Prokofievna suddenly flared up. "I did not expect that of you, Aglaya," she said. "He is an impossible husband for you,--I know it; and thank God that we agree upon that point; but I did not expect to hear such words from you. I thought I should hear a very different tone from you. I would have turned out everyone who was in the room last night and kept him,--that's the sort of man he is, in my opinion!" Here she suddenly paused, afraid of what she had just said. But she little knew how unfair she was to her daughter at that moment. It was all settled in Aglaya's mind. She was only waiting for the hour that would bring the matter to a final climax; and every hint, every careless probing of her wound, did but further lacerate her heart. 当他怀着喜悦和满足的心情对与Ｎ公爵和叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇愉快地交谈的阿格拉娅望得出神的时候，那个上了年纪的英国派头的老爷在另一个角落正兴致勃勃给达官显要老头讲什么使他很感兴趣的事，突然他提到了尼古拉·安德列耶维奇·帕夫利谢夫的名字。公爵很快地转向他们这一边，开始听他们讲话。 他们讲的是如今的世道以及某省地主庄园里的混乱情况，英国迷的叙述想必也包含着某些快活的内容，因为最终老头开始对叙述者那种尖酸刻薄的激昂佯子感到好笑了。他有点抱怨地拉长了声调，柔和地重读着元音，从容不迫地叙述着，为什么他被迫（正是被目前的时世所迫）卖掉在某省的一处绝好的庄园，甚至在并不特别需要钱的情况下只卖了个半价，而同时还不得下保留一个面临破产、亏损累累、正打官司的庄园，甚至还得为它贴钱。“为了避免为帕夫利谢夫的一块领地再打官司，我索性逃之夭夭。还有一两处这样的遗产，我可要破产了。不过，那边留给我的是三千公顷上好的土地！” “要知道……伊万。彼得罗维奇是已故尼古拉·安德列耶维奇·帕夫利谢夫的亲戚……你不是好像寻找过他的亲戚吗？”注意到公爵对他们的谈话异常关注，伊万· 费奥多罗维奇便突然来到他身旁，轻声对他说。在此之前伊万·费奥多罗维奇一直陪着自己的将军上司说话，但他早就发现列夫·尼古拉耶维奇落落寡言的样子，便开始为他感到不安。他想使公爵在一走程度上介入谈话，从而把他第二次展示和介绍给“贵人们”。 “列夫·尼古拉耶维奇在自己父母去世后是尼古拉·安德列伊奇·帕夫利谢夫抚养的，”他乘与伊万·彼得罗维奇目光相遇时插话说。 “非－常－高－兴，”那人说，“我甚至记得很清楚，刚才伊万·费奥多罗维奇介绍我们认识时，我马上就认出您了，甚至是从面相上认出的，说真的您长相变得很少，虽然我过去看见您时，您还只是个１０岁或１１岁的孩子。您的五官有某种东西使人想得起……” “我小时候您见过我？”公爵异常惊讶地问。 “哦，那已经是很久以前了，”伊万·彼得罗维奇继续说，“在兹拉托维尔霍沃，当时您住在我的表姐妹那里。我过去经常去兹拉托维尔霍沃，您不记得我吗？很可能不记得了……您那时……患什么病，有一次我甚至对您感到很奇怪……” “一点也记不得了！”公爵急切地承认道。 又作了一番解释。就伊万·彼得罗维奇来说是极为平静的，而对公爵来说却激动得惊人。原来，注在兹拉托维尔霍沃庄园里的两位女地主，上了年纪的老姑娘是已故帕夫利谢夫的亲戚，公爵就被托付给她们培养，而她们又是伊万·彼得罗维奇的表姐妹。伊万·波得罗维奇也像其他人一样，几乎一点也不能解释帕夫利谢夫如此关怀自己的养子小公爵的原因。“当时忘了询问一下这件事，”但毕竟他有卓绝的记忆力，因为他甚至记起了他表姐玛尔法·尼基季什娜对这个小养子有多严厉，“有一次我甚至为教育方法跟她吵了一架，因为对一个患病的孩子老是体罚，体罚……这可是……您自己也会同意的……”－－相反，表妹纳塔莉娅·尼基季什娜对病孩却非常温柔……“她们俩现在已经住在某省了（只是我不知道，现在是否还活着？），”他继续说明着，“在那里她们从帕夫利谢夫那儿得到了一处相当不错的小庄园。玛尔法·尼基季什娜好像想进修道院；不过我不能肯定；也许我听说的是另一个人……对了，不久前听说是大夫的太太要进修道院……” 公爵听完这一切时，眼睛里闪现出欢喜和感动的神情。他异常急切地声称，永远也不能原谅自己，在自己去内地省份的六个月中他竟没有找出机会寻找和探访自己过去的养育者。“我每天都想去，可老是因为各种各样的事务脱不开身……但现在我保证……一定要去……哪怕是在某省……这么说您是了解纳培莉娅·尼基季什娜的喏？她有一颗多么美好、多么神圣的心灵啊！玛尔法·厄基季什娜也是……请原谅，您好像错怪了玛尔法·尼基季什娜！她是严厉，但是……要知道，对于当时我这么一个白痴（嘻－嘻！）……确实不能不失去耐心。您不会相信，我那时可完全是个白痴（哈－哈！）不过……不过您那时看见过我，而且……请问，我怎么会不记得您？这么说，您……啊，我的上帝，难道您真的是尼古拉·安德列伊奇·帕夫利谢夫的亲戚？” “我－请－您－相－信，”伊万。彼得罗维奇打量着公爵，莞尔一笑说。 “哦，我可不是因为我……怀疑……才这么说……再说，难道可以怀疑这种事吗？（嘻－嘻！）……哪怕只是怀疑一点点！……也就是说甚至哪怕一点儿也不行！（嘻－嘻！）但我是想说，已故的尼古拉·安德列伊奇·帕夫利谢夫是个非常好的人，一个极为豁达慷慨的人，真的，我请您相信！” 公爵并非是喘不上气来，可以说，是“心里美得噎住了”，这是第二天上午阿杰莱达在跟自己的未婚夫ω公爵谈话时形容的。 “啊，我的天哪！”伊万·彼得罗维奇大笑着说，“为什么我就不能是一个豁达慷慨的人，真的，我请您相信！” “啊，我的上帝！”公爵喊了起来。他又窘又急，越来越亢奋。“我……我又说了蠢话，但是……这是必然的，因为我……我……我，不过我又不该说这些！再说怀着这样的兴趣……怀着这么巨大的兴趣……请说，我现在能做什么！而且跟这么豁达慷慨的人相比，——因为，真的，他可是个豁达慷慨的人，不对吗？不对吗？” 公爵甚至全身打颤。为什么他忽然这么惶恐不安？为什么有这种大受感动的狂热？这种狂热完全无缘无故，好像与谈话的内容也丝毫不相适宜——这是很难解答的。他就是这么一种心态，在此刻对某人和某事甚至怀着最热烈和衷心的感激之情，——也许，甚至是对伊万·彼得罗维奇，几乎是对所有的宾客。他是“太幸福了”。终于伊万·彼得罗维奇开始对他仔细打量起来，比原先要专注得多；那位“达官显要老头”也凝神端详起他来。别洛孔斯卡娅紧闭嘴唇，用一种忿忿的目光盯着公爵。Ｎ公爵，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，ω公爵，小姐们全部停止了谈话，听着他讲。阿格拉娅似乎谅恐不已，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜简直害怕极了。这母女们也令人奇怪：是她们事先认为并决定整个晚上公爵最好坐着不开口；但是刚才看见他完全孤零零、恬然自得地呆在角落里时，她们又立即不放心起来。亚历山德拉于是想走到他那儿去，她小心翼翼地穿过整个房间，参加到他们那一伙人中去，也就是在别洛孔斯卡娅旁边的Ｎ公爵那一群人，而公爵自己刚开始说话，她们便更加惶惶不安。 “说到他是非常好的人：您是对的，”伊万·彼得罗维奇已经不再微笑，威严地说，“是的，是的……这是个很好的人！很好的和可敬的人！”停了一会他补充说，“甚至可以说他无愧受到各种尊敬！”在第三次停顿以后，他更威严地说，“我……我很愉快看到您对他……” “是不是这个帕夫利谢夫出过一桩……怪事……跟一个天主教神父……跟一个天主教神父……我忘了，是跟哪一个天主教神父，只不过当时大家都议论看什么，”“达官显贵”似乎一边回忆一边说。 “跟古罗神父，耶稣会教上！”伊万·彼得罗维奇提醒说，“是啊，这就是我们的非常好的和可敬的人！因为他毕竟是望族，有财产，宫廷高级侍从，如果……继续任职的话……他却忽然抛弃了职务和一切，要改信天主教，做一名耶稣会教徒，而且还几乎是公开的，带着一股狂热。说真的，恰好他死了……是啊，当时大家都在谈论……” 公爵失去自控了。 “帕夫利谢夫……帕夫利谢夫改信天主教，这不可能！”他惊骇地喊了起来。 “嘿，‘不可能’。”伊万·彼得罗维奇庄重又含混下清地说，“这就说得过分了，我亲爱的公爵，您自己也会同意的……下过，您对死者这么敬重……确实，这是个十分善良的人，我认为，古罗这个奸滑之徒所以能成功主要的原因也正在于此。但是您应该问问我，问问我，后来为这件事我遭到了多少麻烦和周折……正是跟这个古罗打交道！您想想，”他忽然转向老显贵说，“他们竟然想提出遗产要求，当时我甚至不得不采取最有力的措施……要他们放明白些……因为那都是些老手！惊－人－的老手！但是，上帝保佑，这事发生在莫斯科，我马上去找伯爵，我们终于使他们……明白过来了……” “您不相信，您的话使我多么伤心和震惊！”公爵又大声说。 “我很遗憾；但是实际上这一切其实都是微不足道的，而且就像平常那样会以不值一提而告终；我深信这点。去年夏天，”他又转向显贵老头说，“据说，Ｋ伯爵夫人在国外也进了某座天主教的修道院；我们有些人一旦受到这些……刁滑之徒……的蛊惑……尤其是在国外，便不知怎么地坚持不住了。” “我想，这全都是因为我们……疲劳的缘故，”老显贵摆出一副权威的口气懒洋洋地说，“嘿，他们那一套传道的方式……也很讲究，自有特色……还善于吓唬人。１８３２年在维也纳时也有人吓唬过我，请你们相信，不过我没有受诱惑，从他那里逃跑了，哈！哈！” “我听说，老爷，您那时是跟美人列维茨卡娅伯爵夫人一起从维也纳逃到巴黎去的，抛弃了自己的职务，而不是逃避耶稣会，”突然别洛孔斯卡娅插嘴说。 “哎，要知道是逃避耶稣会，反正就是逃避耶稣会。”显贵老头因为愉快的回忆而放声笑着，接过话茬说，“您好像是很虔诚的，现在在年轻人中是很少能见到的，”他亲切地转向列夫·尼古拉耶维奇公爵，后者正张大了嘴巴听着，仍然显得非常惊愕；显贵老头显然想进一步了解公爵，出于某些原因他对公爵很感兴趣。 “帕夫利谢夫是个头脑清醒的人，是基督教徒，真诚的基督教徒，”公爵突然说，“他怎么会服从非基督教的……信仰？天主教反正是一种非基督教的信仰！”他忽然补充说。他双眼闪闪有神，望着前面，似乎是扫视着所有在场的人。 “咳，这就过分了，”显贵老头喃喃地说，同时惊讶地看了一眼伊万·费奥多罗维奇。 “天主教怎么是非基督教信仰？”伊万·彼得罗维奇在椅子上转过身来说，“那么是什么信仰？” “首先是非基督教信仰！”公爵异常激动并又生硬得失去分寸地说，“这是第一；第二，罗马的天主教甚至比无神论还坏，这就是我的意见！是的，这就是我的意见！无神论仅仅是宣传没有上帝，而天主教走得更远：它宣传的是歪曲了的基督，被它诬蔑和凌辱了的基督，是反面的基督！它宣传的是反基督，我向你们起音，请你们相信！这是我个人早已持有的信念，而它却使我自己深为苦恼……罗马天主教认为，没有全世界的国家政权，教会就站不住脚，并高喊： Ｎｏｎ ｐＯｓｓｕｍｕｓ！＊据我看，罗马天主教甚至不是一种信仰，而完全是西罗马帝国的继续，它里面的一切，从信仰开始，都服从于这一思想。教皇占领了土地、尘世间的王位并拿起了剑；从那时起一切就是这样发展的，只是除了剑还加上了谎言、诡计、欺骗、狂热、迷信、凶恶，他们玩弄人民最神圣、最真实、最纯朴、最炽烈的感情，把一切一切都拿去换取金钱，换取卑劣的尘世的权力。这难道不是反基督吗？怎么会不从他们那里冒出无神论来呢？无神论就是从他们那里来的，就是从罗马天主教来的！无神论首先是从他们自己开始的：他们是否能自己信仰自己？无神论是从厌恶他们中得到加强的：它是他们的谎言和精神贫乏的产物！这就是无神论！在我们这儿不信宗教的还只是少数特殊的阶层，刚才叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇说得很好，他们是失去了根的阶层；而在欧洲那边已经有人数多得可怕的人民群众开始不信教了，——起先是由于愚昧无知，由于受谎言的欺骗，而现在已经是出于狂热，出于对教会和基督教的憎恨！” 公爵停下来喘口气。他说得快得不得了。他脸色苍白，气喘吁吁。大家都彼此交换着眼色；但最后显贵老头公然放声大笑了。Ｎ公爵掏出带柄眼镜，目不转睛地端详起公爵来。日耳曼血统诗人从角落里走出来，移步走近桌子，露出不祥的微笑。 “您太夸－大－了，”伊万·彼得罗维奇带着一丝苦恼甚至似乎有点不好意思，拖长了声调说，“在那边的教会里也有一些值得尊敬和道德高尚的代表。” “我决不是说教会的个别代表。我说的是罗马天主教的实质，我说的是罗马。难道教会会完全消失吗？我从来没有这么说过。” “我同意，但这一切都是众所周知的，甚至——不需要……这是属于神学……” ＊拉丁语：我们不能。 “哦，不，哦，不！不光是属于神学，请您相信，不光是！它关系到我们，比您想象的要密切得多。我们还不能看到这件了绝不只是神学，这正是我们的错误所在！要知道社会主义也是天主教和天主教本质的产物！它就像它的兄弟无神论一样也来自于绝望，在道德意义上是与天主教背道而驰的，它是要取代宗教失去的道德权力，要满足切盼着的人类的精神渴望，不是用基督而是用暴力来拯救他们。这也是一种通过暴力的自由，这也是一种通过剑和血的联合！‘不许信奉上帝，不许有私有财产，不许有个性， ｆrａｔｅrｎｉｔ　ｏｕ　ｌａｍｏrｔ＊，两百万颗脑袋！’根据他们的所作所为你们将能了解他们——这点已经说过了！别以为这一切对于我们都是无害的，并不可怕；哦，我们需要反击，而且要尽快、尽快！应该使我们的基督发出光芒给西方以反击！我们保留的基督，他们是不知道的！我们现在应该站在他们面前，不是盲从地上耶稣会教士的钩，而应该把我们俄罗斯的文明带给他们，但愿我们的人不要说他们的传教方式很讲究，就像刚才谁说的那样……” “但是对不起，对不起，”伊万·彼得罗维奇万分不安地说，他环顾着周围，甚至开始害怕起来，“所有您的这些想法当然是应该受到赞扬的，它们充满了爱国主义，但是这一切是极为夸大了的……甚至最好还是不对这个……” “不，没有夸大，不如说是缩小了；恰恰是缩小了，因为我不会表达，但是……” “对－不－起！” 公爵闭口不说了。他挺直身子坐在椅子上，火一般的炽热目光一动不动地望着伊万·彼得罗维奇。 “我觉得，您恩人的事已经使您过分受震惊了，”显贵老头亲切而不失平静地指出，“您现在很激昂……也许，是因为孤独的缘故。倘若您多与人们交往，而在上流社会里，我希望，人们将会乐于接待您这么一位优秀的年轻人，那么，当然，你将会使您的激奋平静下来并会看到，所有这一切简单得多。何况，之所以发生……这样一些罕见的事例，据我看，部分地是由于我们的饱食厌足，部分是由于……百无聊赖。” “正是这样，正是这样，”公爵大声嚷道，“绝妙的思想！正是‘由于百无聊赖，由于我们的百无聊赖’，不是由于饱食厌足，相反，是由于饥渴……不是由于饱食厌足，这一点您弄错了！不仅仅是由于饥渴，甚至是由于炽热的激情，由于热切的饥渴！而且……而且您别认为这是没什么大不了的，可以一笑了之；请原谅，应该善于预感！我们的人只是到了岸才相信，这就是岸，于是高兴得马上就要走到最终极限；这是为什么？你们对帕夫利谢夫感到惊讶，你们一切都归咎于他的疯狂或善良，但这不是这么回事！在这种情况下我们俄罗斯的强烈激情不光使我们也使整个欧洲惊讶。如果我们这里有人改信天主教，那么他一定会成为耶稣会教徒，而且还是最秘密的；如果有人成为无神论者，那么一定会开始要求用暴力来铲除对上帝的信仰，也就是用剑！这是为什么，为什么一下子这么狂暴？难道你们不知道？这是因为他发现了过去在这里忽略了的祖国，因此十分高兴；他发现了岸，土地，便扑下去吻它！俄国无神论者的产生可并不光是因为虚荣心，可并不全是因为可恶的虚荣感，而是因为精神痛苦，因为精神饥渴，因为向往崇高的事业、怀念坚实的岸、怀念他们原来不再相信的祖国，因为他们从来也没有了解过它！俄国人成为无神论者太容易了，比全世界其他各国人更容易！并且，我们的人不光是做一个无神论者，而且还一定信奉无神论，把它作为一种新的信仰，却丝毫没有发现他们信奉的是虚无。我们的人的饥渴就是这样的！‘谁脚下没有立足点，谁也就没有上帝！’这不是我的话，这是我在旅途中遇到的一个旧派教徒商人说的。说真的，他原活不是这么说的，他说：‘谁放弃了故土，谁也就放弃了自己的上帝。’只要想一想，我们一些最有文化教养的人居然也会加入鞭身派……不过，在这种情况下，鞭身派有什么比虚无主义、耶稣会、无神论更不好呢？甚至，也许还更深刻些：但是可见苦闷达到了什么地步！……为那些饥渴的和饥渴得发狂的哥仑布们去发现‘新大陆’之岸吧，为俄国人去发现俄国的‘新大陆’吧，让我们去为他们寻找不为他们所知、隐藏在地下的这金矿、这宝库吧：请向他们展示，将来也许唯有俄国的思想、俄国的上帝和基督才能使上人类复活和复兴，你们将会看到．一个多么强大和真实、英明和温顺的巨人将在惊讶的世界面前成长，在惊讶的和恐惧的世界面前成长，因为他们期待着我们的就只是剑，剑和暴力，因为他们以己度人，不能想象我们可以没有野蛮。迄今为止就是这样，而且越来越厉害！而且……” ＊法语：博爱或死亡。 但是这时忽然发生了一件事，因而演说者的话也就极为出人意料地被中断了。 整个这一篇激昂的长篇大论，整个这一堆仿佛乱糟糟拥积在一起、一句超越另一句的热烈不安的言辞和激越亢奋的思想，这一切预示着这个显然无缘无故突然谈兴勃发的年轻人正处于某种危险的特殊的心态之中。客厅里在场的人中所有了解公爵的人都提心吊胆地（有的还羞愧地）对他的牵动感到惊讶，因为这不符合他往昔的举止，平时他拘谨得甚至羞法，在别的场合他表现出少有的和特别的分寸和对上等礼仪的本能的敏感。人们无法理解，为什么会是这样：关于帕夫利谢夫的消息并不是原因。女客们从她们的角落里望着他，把他看作是疯子，而别洛孔斯卡娅后来承认“再过１分钟，她已经想溜之大吉了”。“达官显贵”老头由于最初的惊讶而几乎不知所措；叶潘钦的将军上司在自己的椅子上不满而严厉地望着。上校工程师坐着一动不动。德裔诗人甚至脸色都发白了，但仍然虚假地微笑看望着别人，看人家怎么反应？不过，所有这一切以及整个这件丑事，甚至也许只要再过１分钟，就可以以最平常自然的方式得到解决；异常吃惊，但比别人更早醒悟的伊万·费奥多罗维奇已经几次试图去制止公爵，没有成功，现在他怀着坚定果断的目的朝公爵走去，再过１分钟，如果需要这样做的话，他大概会下决心客客气气地把公爵带走，就借口说他有病，也许，情况确实是这样，伊万·费奥多罗维奇暗自也非常相信是这样……但是事态却以另一种方式发展着。

Part 4 Chapter 6 As to the evening party at the Epanchins' at which Princess Bielokonski was to be present, Varia had reported with accuracy; though she had perhaps expressed herself too strongly. The thing was decided in a hurry and with a certain amount of quite unnecessary excitement, doubtless because "nothing could be done in this house like anywhere else." The impatience of Lizabetha Prokofievna "to get things settled" explained a good deal, as well as the anxiety of both parents for the happiness of their beloved daughter. Besides, Princess Bielokonski was going away soon, and they hoped that she would take an interest in the prince. They were anxious that he should enter society under the auspices of this lady, whose patronage was the best of recommendations for any young man. Even if there seems something strange about the match, the general and his wife said to each other, the "world" will accept Aglaya's fiance without any question if he is under the patronage of the princess. In any case, the prince would have to be "shown" sooner or later; that is, introduced into society, of which he had, so far, not the least idea. Moreover, it was only a question of a small gathering of a few intimate friends. Besides Princess Bielokonski, only one other lady was expected, the wife of a high dignitary. Evgenie Pavlovitch, who was to escort the princess, was the only young man. Muishkin was told of the princess's visit three days beforehand, but nothing was said to him about the party until the night before it was to take place. He could not help observing the excited and agitated condition of all members of the family, and from certain hints dropped in conversation he gathered that they were all anxious as to the impression he should make upon the princess. But the Epanchins, one and all, believed that Muishkin, in his simplicity of mind, was quite incapable of realizing that they could be feeling any anxiety on his account, and for this reason they all looked at him with dread and uneasiness. In point of fact, he did attach marvellously little importance to the approaching event. He was occupied with altogether different thoughts. Aglaya was growing hourly more capricious and gloomy, and this distressed him. When they told him that Evgenie Pavlovitch was expected, he evinced great delight, and said that he had long wished to see him--and somehow these words did not please anyone. Aglaya left the room in a fit of irritation, and it was not until late in the evening, past eleven, when the prince was taking his departure, that she said a word or two to him, privately, as she accompanied him as far as the front door. "I should like you," she said, "not to come here tomorrow until evening, when the guests are all assembled. You know there are to be guests, don't you?" She spoke impatiently and with severity; this was the first allusion she had made to the party of tomorrow. She hated the idea of it, everyone saw that; and she would probably have liked to quarrel about it with her parents, but pride and modesty prevented her from broaching the subject. The prince jumped to the conclusion that Aglaya, too, was nervous about him, and the impression he would make, and that she did not like to admit her anxiety; and this thought alarmed him. "Yes, I am invited," he replied. She was evidently in difficulties as to how best to go on. "May I speak of something serious to you, for once in my life?" she asked, angrily. She was irritated at she knew not what, and could not restrain her wrath. "Of course you may; I am very glad to listen," replied Muishkin. Aglaya was silent a moment and then began again with evident dislike of her subject: "I do not wish to quarrel with them about this; in some things they won't be reasonable. I always did feel a loathing for the laws which seem to guide mamma's conduct at times. I don't speak of father, for he cannot be expected to be anything but what he is. Mother is a noble-minded woman, I know; you try to suggest anything mean to her, and you'll see! But she is such a slave to these miserable creatures! I don't mean old Bielokonski alone. She is a contemptible old thing, but she is able to twist people round her little finger, and I admire that in her, at all events! How mean it all is, and how foolish! We were always middle-class, thoroughly middle-class, people. Why should we attempt to climb into the giddy heights of the fashionable world? My sisters are all for it. It's Prince S. they have to thank for poisoning their minds. Why are you so glad that Evgenie Pavlovitch is coming?" "Listen to me, Aglaya," said the prince, "I do believe you are nervous lest I shall make a fool of myself tomorrow at your party?" "Nervous about you?" Aglaya blushed. "Why should I be nervous about you? What would it matter to me if you were to make ever such a fool of yourself? How can you say such a thing? What do you mean by 'making a fool of yourself'? What a vulgar expression! I suppose you intend to talk in that sort of way tomorrow evening? Look up a few more such expressions in your dictionary; do, you'll make a grand effect! I'm sorry that you seem to be able to come into a room as gracefully as you do; where did you learn the art? Do you think you can drink a cup of tea decently, when you know everybody is looking at you, on purpose to see how you do it?" "Yes, I think I can." "Can you? I'm sorry for it then, for I should have had a good laugh at you otherwise. Do break SOMETHING at least, in the drawing-room! Upset the Chinese vase, won't you? It's a valuable one; DO break it. Mamma values it, and she'll go out of her mind--it was a present. She'll cry before everyone, you'll see! Wave your hand about, you know, as you always do, and just smash it. Sit down near it on purpose." "On the contrary, I shall sit as far from it as I can. Thanks for the hint." "Ha, ha! Then you are afraid you WILL wave your arms about! I wouldn't mind betting that you'll talk about some lofty subject, something serious and learned. How delightful, how tactful that will be!" "I should think it would be very foolish indeed, unless it happened to come in appropriately." "Look here, once for all," cried Aglaya, boiling over, "if I hear you talking about capital punishment, or the economical condition of Russia, or about Beauty redeeming the world, or anything of that sort, I'll--well, of course I shall laugh and seem very pleased, but I warn you beforehand, don't look me in the face again! I'm serious now, mind, this time I AM REALLY serious." She certainly did say this very seriously, so much so, that she looked quite different from what she usually was, and the prince could not help noticing the fact. She did not seem to be joking in the slightest degree. "Well, you've put me into such a fright that I shall certainly make a fool of myself, and very likely break something too. I wasn't a bit alarmed before, but now I'm as nervous as can be." "Then don't speak at all. Sit still and don't talk." "Oh, I can't do that, you know! I shall say something foolish out of pure 'funk,' and break something for the same excellent reason; I know I shall. Perhaps I shall slip and fall on the slippery floor; I've done that before now, you know. I shall dream of it all night now. Why did you say anything about it?" Aglaya looked blackly at him. "Do you know what, I had better not come at all tomorrow! I'll plead sick-list and stay away," said the prince, with decision. Aglaya stamped her foot, and grew quite pale with anger. Oh, my goodness! Just listen to that! 'Better not come,' when the party is on purpose for him! Good Lord! What a delightful thing it is to have to do with such a--such a stupid as you are!" "Well, I'll come, I'll come," interrupted the prince, hastily, "and I'll give you my word of honour that I will sit the whole evening and not say a word." "I believe that's the best thing you can do. You said you'd 'plead sick-list' just now; where in the world do you get hold of such expressions? Why do you talk to me like this? Are you trying to irritate me, or what?" "Forgive me, it's a schoolboy expression. I won't do it again. I know quite well, I see it, that you are anxious on my account (now, don't be angry), and it makes me very happy to see it. You wouldn't believe how frightened I am of misbehaving somehow, and how glad I am of your instructions. But all this panic is simply nonsense, you know, Aglaya! I give you my word it is; I am so pleased that you are such a child, such a dear good child. How CHARMING you can be if you like, Aglaya." Aglaya wanted to be angry, of course, but suddenly some quite unexpected feeling seized upon her heart, all in a moment. "And you won't reproach me for all these rude words of mine--some day--afterwards?" she asked, of a sudden. "What an idea! Of course not. And what are you blushing for again? And there comes that frown once more! You've taken to looking too gloomy sometimes, Aglaya, much more than you used to. I know why it is." "Be quiet, do be quiet!" "No, no, I had much better speak out. I have long wished to say it, and HAVE said it, but that's not enough, for you didn't believe me. Between us two there stands a being who--" "Be quiet, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet!" Aglaya struck in, suddenly, seizing his hand in hers, and gazing at him almost in terror. At this moment she was called by someone. She broke loose from him with an air of relief and ran away. The prince was in a fever all night. It was strange, but he had suffered from fever for several nights in succession. On this particular night, while in semi-delirium, he had an idea: what if on the morrow he were to have a fit before everybody? The thought seemed to freeze his blood within him. All night he fancied himself in some extraordinary society of strange persons. The worst of it was that he was talking nonsense; he knew that he ought not to speak at all, and yet he talked the whole time; he seemed to be trying to persuade them all to something. Evgenie and Hippolyte were among the guests, and appeared to be great friends. He awoke towards nine o'clock with a headache, full of confused ideas and strange impressions. For some reason or other he felt most anxious to see Rogojin, to see and talk to him, but what he wished to say he could not tell. Next, he determined to go and see Hippolyte. His mind was in a confused state, so much so that the incidents of the morning seemed to be imperfectly realized, though acutely felt. One of these incidents was a visit from Lebedeff. Lebedeff came rather early--before ten--but he was tipsy already. Though the prince was not in an observant condition, yet he could not avoid seeing that for at least three days--ever since General Ivolgin had left the house Lebedeff had been behaving very badly. He looked untidy and dirty at all times of the day, and it was said that he had begun to rage about in his own house, and that his temper was very bad. As soon as he arrived this morning, he began to hold forth, beating his breast and apparently blaming himself for something. "I've--I've had a reward for my meanness--I've had a slap in the face," he concluded, tragically. "A slap in the face? From whom? And so early in the morning?" "Early?" said Lebedeff, sarcastically. "Time counts for nothing, even in physical chastisement; but my slap in the face was not physical, it was moral." He suddenly took a seat, very unceremoniously, and began his story. It was very disconnected; the prince frowned, and wished he could get away; but suddenly a few words struck him. He sat stiff with wonder--Lebedeff said some extraordinary things. In the first place he began about some letter; the name of Aglaya Ivanovna came in. Then suddenly he broke off and began to accuse the prince of something; he was apparently offended with him. At first he declared that the prince had trusted him with his confidences as to "a certain person" (Nastasia Philipovna), but that of late his friendship had been thrust back into his bosom, and his innocent question as to "approaching family changes" had been curtly put aside, which Lebedeff declared, with tipsy tears, he could not bear; especially as he knew so much already both from Rogojin and Nastasia Philipovna and her friend, and from Varvara Ardalionovna, and even from Aglaya Ivanovna, through his daughter Vera. "And who told Lizabetha Prokofievna something in secret, by letter? Who told her all about the movements of a certain person called Nastasia Philipovna? Who was the anonymous person, eh? Tell me!" "Surely not you?" cried the prince. "Just so," said Lebedeff, with dignity; "and only this very morning I have sent up a letter to the noble lady, stating that I have a matter of great importance to communicate. She received the letter; I know she got it; and she received ME, too." "Have you just seen Lizabetha Prokofievna?" asked the prince, scarcely believing his ears. "Yes, I saw her, and got the said slap in the face as mentioned. She chucked the letter back to me unopened, and kicked me out of the house, morally, not physically, although not far off it." "What letter do you mean she returned unopened?" "What! didn't I tell you? Ha, ha, ha! I thought I had. Why, I received a letter, you know, to be handed over--"From whom? To whom?" But it was difficult, if not impossible, to extract anything from Lebedeff. All the prince could gather was, that the letter had been received very early, and had a request written on the outside that it might be sent on to the address given. "Just as before, sir, just as before! To a certain person, and from a certain hand. The individual's name who wrote the letter is to be represented by the letter A.--" "What? Impossible! To Nastasia Philipovna? Nonsense!" cried the prince. "It was, I assure you, and if not to her then to Rogojin, which is the same thing. Mr. Hippolyte has had letters, too, and all from the individual whose name begins with an A.," smirked Lebedeff, with a hideous grin. As he kept jumping from subject to subject, and forgetting what he had begun to talk about, the prince said nothing, but waited, to give him time. It was all very vague. Who had taken the letters, if letters there were? Probably Vera--and how could Lebedeff have got them? In all probability, he had managed to steal the present letter from Vera, and had himself gone over to Lizabetha Prokofievna with some idea in his head. So the prince concluded at last. "You are mad!" he cried, indignantly. "Not quite, esteemed prince," replied Lebedeff, with some acerbity. "I confess I thought of doing you the service of handing the letter over to yourself, but I decided that it would pay me better to deliver it up to the noble lady aforesaid, as I had informed her of everything hitherto by anonymous letters; so when I sent her up a note from myself, with the letter, you know, in order to fix a meeting for eight o'clock this morning, I signed it 'your secret correspondent.' They let me in at once-- very quickly--by the back door, and the noble lady received me." "Well? Go on." "Oh, well, when I saw her she almost punched my head, as I say; in fact so nearly that one might almost say she did punch my head. She threw the letter in my face; she seemed to reflect first, as if she would have liked to keep it, but thought better of it and threw it in my face instead. 'If anybody can have been such a fool as to trust a man like you to deliver the letter,' says she,' take it and deliver it! 'Hey! she was grandly indignant. A fierce, fiery lady that, sir!" "Where's the letter now?" "Oh, I've still got it, here!" And he handed the prince the very letter from Aglaya to Gania, which the latter showed with so much triumph to his Sister at a later hour. "This letter cannot be allowed to remain in your hands." "It's for you--for you! I've brought it you on purpose!" cried Lebedeff, excitedly. "Why, I'm yours again now, heart and hand, your slave; there was but a momentary pause in the flow of my love and esteem for you. Mea culpa, mea culpa! as the Pope of Rome says. "This letter should be sent on at once," said the prince, disturbed. "I'll hand it over myself." "Wouldn't it be better, esteemed prince, wouldn't it be better-- to--don't you know--" Lebedeff made a strange and very expressive grimace; he twisted about in his chair, and did something, apparently symbolical, with his hands. "What do you mean?" said the prince. "Why, open it, for the time being, don't you know?" he said, most confidentially and mysteriously. The prince jumped up so furiously that Lebedeff ran towards the door; having gained which strategic position, however, he stopped and looked back to see if he might hope for pardon. "Oh, Lebedeff, Lebedeff! Can a man really sink to such depths of meanness?" said the prince, sadly. Lebedeff's face brightened. "Oh, I'm a mean wretch--a mean wretch!" he said, approaching the prince once more, and beating his breast, with tears in his eyes. "It's abominable dishonesty, you know!" "Dishonesty--it is, it is! That's the very word!" "What in the world induces you to act so? You are nothing but a spy. Why did you write anonymously to worry so noble and generous a lady? Why should not Aglaya Ivanovna write a note to whomever she pleases? What did you mean to complain of today? What did you expect to get by it? What made you go at all?" "Pure amiable curiosity,--I assure you--desire to do a service. That's all. Now I'm entirely yours again, your slave; hang me if you like!" "Did you go before Lizabetha Prokofievna in your present condition?" inquired the prince. "No--oh no, fresher--more the correct card. I only became this like after the humiliation I suffered there, "Well--that'll do; now leave me." This injunction had to be repeated several times before the man could be persuaded to move. Even then he turned back at the door, came as far as the middle of the room, and there went through his mysterious motions designed to convey the suggestion that the prince should open the letter. He did not dare put his suggestion into words again. After this performance, he smiled sweetly and left the room on tiptoe. All this had been very painful to listen to. One fact stood out certain and clear, and that was that poor Aglaya must be in a state of great distress and indecision and mental torment ("from jealousy," the prince whispered to himself). Undoubtedly in this inexperienced, but hot and proud little head, there were all sorts of plans forming, wild and impossible plans, maybe; and the idea of this so frightened the prince that he could not make up his mind what to do. Something must be done, that was clear. He looked at the address on the letter once more. Oh, he was not in the least degree alarmed about Aglaya writing such a letter; he could trust her. What he did not like about it was that he could not trust Gania. However, he made up his mind that he would himself take the note and deliver it. Indeed, he went so far as to leave the house and walk up the road, but changed his mind when he had nearly reached Ptitsin's door. However, he there luckily met Colia, and commissioned him to deliver the letter to his brother as if direct from Aglaya. Colia asked no questions but simply delivered it, and Gania consequently had no suspicion that it had passed through so many hands. Arrived home again, the prince sent for Vera Lebedeff and told her as much as was necessary, in order to relieve her mind, for she had been in a dreadful state of anxiety since she had missed the letter. She heard with horror that her father had taken it. Muishkin learned from her that she had on several occasions performed secret missions both for Aglaya and for Rogojin, without, however, having had the slightest idea that in so doing she might injure the prince in any way. The latter, with one thing and another, was now so disturbed and confused, that when, a couple of hours or so later, a message came from Colia that the general was ill, he could hardly take the news in. However, when he did master the fact, it acted upon him as a tonic by completely distracting his attention. He went at once to Nina Alexandrovna's, whither the general had been carried, and stayed there until the evening. He could do no good, but there are people whom to have near one is a blessing at such times. Colia was in an almost hysterical state; he cried continuously, but was running about all day, all the same; fetching doctors, of whom he collected three; going to the chemist's, and so on. The general was brought round to some extent, but the doctors declared that he could not be said to be out of danger. Varia and Nina Alexandrovna never left the sick man's bedside; Gania was excited and distressed, but would not go upstairs, and seemed afraid to look at the patient. He wrung his hands when the prince spoke to him, and said that "such a misfortune at such a moment" was terrible. The prince thought he knew what Gania meant by "such a moment." Hippolyte was not in the house. Lebedeff turned up late in the afternoon; he had been asleep ever since his interview with the prince in the morning. He was quite sober now, and cried with real sincerity over the sick general--mourning for him as though he were his own brother. He blamed himself aloud, but did not explain why. He repeated over and over again to Nina Alexandrovna that he alone was to blame--no one else--but that he had acted out of "pure amiable curiosity," and that "the deceased," as he insisted upon calling the still living general, had been the greatest of geniuses. He laid much stress on the genius of the sufferer, as if this idea must be one of immense solace in the present crisis. Nina Alexandrovna--seeing his sincerity of feeling--said at last, and without the faintest suspicion of reproach in her voice: "Come, come--don't cry! God will forgive you!" Lebedeff was so impressed by these words, and the tone in which they were spoken, that he could not leave Nina Alexandrovna all the evening--in fact, for several days. Till the general's death, indeed, he spent almost all his time at his side. Twice during the day a messenger came to Nina Alexandrovna from the Epanchins to inquire after the invalid. When--late in the evening--the prince made his appearance in Lizabetha Prokofievna's drawing-room, he found it full of guests. Mrs. Epanchin questioned him very fully about the general as soon as he appeared; and when old Princess Bielokonski wished to know "who this general was, and who was Nina Alexandrovna," she proceeded to explain in a manner which pleased the prince very much. He himself, when relating the circumstances of the general's illness to Lizabetha Prokofievna, "spoke beautifully," as Aglaya's sisters declared afterwards--"modestly, quietly, without gestures or too many words, and with great dignity." He had entered the room with propriety and grace, and he was perfectly dressed; he not only did not "fall down on the slippery floor," as he had expressed it, but evidently made a very favourable impression upon the assembled guests. As for his own impression on entering the room and taking his seat, he instantly remarked that the company was not in the least such as Aglaya's words had led him to fear, and as he had dreamed of--in nightmare form--all night. This was the first time in his life that he had seen a little corner of what was generally known by the terrible name of "society." He had long thirsted, for reasons of his own, to penetrate the mysteries of the magic circle, and, therefore, this assemblage was of the greatest possible interest to him. His first impression was one of fascination. Somehow or other he felt that all these people must have been born on purpose to be together! It seemed to him that the Epanchins were not having a party at all; that these people must have been here always, and that he himself was one of them--returned among them after a long absence, but one of them, naturally and indisputably. It never struck him that all this refined simplicity and nobility and wit and personal dignity might possibly be no more than an exquisite artistic polish. The majority of the guests--who were somewhat empty-headed, after all, in spite of their aristocratic bearing--never guessed, in their self-satisfied composure, that much of their superiority was mere veneer, which indeed they had adopted unconsciously and by inheritance. The prince would never so much as suspect such a thing in the delight of his first impression. He saw, for instance, that one important dignitary, old enough to be his grandfather, broke off his own conversation in order to listen to HIM--a young and inexperienced man; and not only listened, but seemed to attach value to his opinion, and was kind and amiable, and yet they were strangers and had never seen each other before. Perhaps what most appealed to the prince's impressionability was the refinement of the old man's courtesy towards him. Perhaps the soil of his susceptible nature was really predisposed to receive a pleasant impression. Meanwhile all these people-though friends of the family and of each other to a certain extent--were very far from being such intimate friends of the family and of each other as the prince concluded. There were some present who never would think of considering the Epanchins their equals. There were even some who hated one another cordially. For instance, old Princess Bielokonski had all her life despised the wife of the "dignitary," while the latter was very far from loving Lizabetha Prokofievna. The dignitary himself had been General Epanchin's protector from his youth up; and the general considered him so majestic a personage that he would have felt a hearty contempt for himself if he had even for one moment allowed himself to pose as the great man's equal, or to think of him--in his fear and reverence-as anything less than an Olympic God! There were others present who had not met for years, and who had no feeling whatever for each other, unless it were dislike; and yet they met tonight as though they had seen each other but yesterday in some friendly and intimate assembly of kindred spirits. It was not a large party, however. Besides Princess Bielokonski and the old dignitary (who was really a great man) and his wife, there was an old military general--a count or baron with a German name, a man reputed to possess great knowledge and administrative ability. He was one of those Olympian administrators who know everything except Russia, pronounce a word of extraordinary wisdom, admired by all, about once in five years, and, after being an eternity in the service, generally die full of honour and riches, though they have never done anything great, and have even been hostile to all greatness. This general was Ivan Fedorovitch's immediate superior in the service; and it pleased the latter to look upon him also as a patron. On the other hand, the great man did not at all consider himself Epanchin's patron. He was always very cool to him, while taking advantage of his ready services, and would instantly have put another in his place if there had been the slightest reason for the change. Another guest was an elderly, important-looking gentleman, a distant relative of Lizabetha Prokofievna's. This gentleman was rich, held a good position, was a great talker, and had the reputation of being "one of the dissatisfied," though not belonging to the dangerous sections of that class. He had the manners, to some extent, of the English aristocracy, and some of their tastes (especially in the matter of under-done roast beef, harness, men-servants, etc.). He was a great friend of the dignitary's, and Lizabetha Prokofievna, for some reason or other, had got hold of the idea that this worthy intended at no distant date to offer the advantages of his hand and heart to Alexandra. Besides the elevated and more solid individuals enumerated, there were present a few younger though not less elegant guests. Besides Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch, we must name the eminent and fascinating Prince N.--once the vanquisher of female hearts all over Europe. This gentleman was no longer in the first bloom of youth--he was forty-five, but still very handsome. He was well off, and lived, as a rule, abroad, and was noted as a good teller of stories. Then came a few guests belonging to a lower stratum of society--people who, like the Epanchins themselves, moved only occasionally in this exalted sphere. The Epanchins liked to draft among their more elevated guests a few picked representatives of this lower stratum, and Lizabetha Prokofievna received much praise for this practice, which proved, her friends said, that she was a woman of tact. The Epanchins prided themselves upon the good opinion people held of them. One of the representatives of the middle-class present today was a colonel of engineers, a very serious man and a great friend of Prince S., who had introduced him to the Epanchins. He was extremely silent in society, and displayed on the forefinger of his right hand a large ring, probably bestowed upon him for services of some sort. There was also a poet, German by name, but a Russian poet; very presentable, and even handsome-the sort of man one could bring into society with impunity. This gentleman belonged to a German family of decidedly bourgeois origin, but he had a knack of acquiring the patronage of "big-wigs," and of retaining their favour. He had translated some great German poem into Russian verse, and claimed to have been a friend of a famous Russian poet, since dead. (It is strange how great a multitude of literary people there are who have had the advantages of friendship with some great man of their own profession who is, unfortunately, dead.) The dignitary's wife had introduced this worthy to the Epanchins. This lady posed as the patroness of literary people, and she certainly had succeeded in obtaining pensions for a few of them, thanks to her influence with those in authority on such matters. She was a lady of weight in her own way. Her age was about forty-five, so that she was a very young wife for such an elderly husband as the dignitary. She had been a beauty in her day and still loved, as many ladies of forty-five do love, to dress a little too smartly. Her intellect was nothing to boast of, and her literary knowledge very doubtful. Literary patronage was, however, with her as much a mania as was the love of gorgeous clothes. Many books and translations were dedicated to her by her proteges, and a few of these talented individuals had published some of their own letters to her, upon very weighty subjects. This, then, was the society that the prince accepted at once as true coin, as pure gold without alloy. It so happened, however, that on this particular evening all these good people were in excellent humour and highly pleased with themselves. Every one of them felt that they were doing the Epanchins the greatest possible honour by their presence. But alas! the prince never suspected any such subtleties! For instance, he had no suspicion of the fact that the Epanchins, having in their mind so important a step as the marriage of their daughter, would never think of presuming to take it without having previously "shown off" the proposed husband to the dignitary--the recognized patron of the family. The latter, too, though he would probably have received news of a great disaster to the Epanchin family with perfect composure, would nevertheless have considered it a personal offence if they had dared to marry their daughter without his advice, or we might almost say, his leave. The amiable and undoubtedly witty Prince N. could not but feel that he was as a sun, risen for one night only to shine upon the Epanchin drawing-room. He accounted them immeasurably his inferiors, and it was this feeling which caused his special amiability and delightful ease and grace towards them. He knew very well that he must tell some story this evening for the edification of the company, and led up to it with the inspiration of anticipatory triumph. The prince, when he heard the story afterwards, felt that he had never yet come across so wonderful a humorist, or such remarkable brilliancy as was shown by this man; and yet if he had only known it, this story was the oldest, stalest, and most worn-out yarn, and every drawing-room in town was sick to death of it. It was only in the innocent Epanchin household that it passed for a new and brilliant tale--as a sudden and striking reminiscence of a splendid and talented man. Even the German poet, though as amiable as possible, felt that he was doing the house the greatest of honours by his presence in it. But the prince only looked at the bright side; he did not turn the coat and see the shabby lining. Aglaya had not foreseen that particular calamity. She herself looked wonderfully beautiful this evening. All three sisters were dressed very tastefully, and their hair was done with special care. Aglaya sat next to Evgenie Pavlovitch, and laughed and talked to him with an unusual display of friendliness. Evgenie himself behaved rather more sedately than usual, probably out of respect to the dignitary. Evgenie had been known in society for a long while. He had appeared at the Epanchins' today with crape on his hat, and Princess Bielokonski had commended this action on his part. Not every society man would have worn crape for "such an uncle." Lizabetha Prokofievna had liked it also, but was too preoccupied to take much notice. The prince remarked that Aglaya looked attentively at him two or three times, and seemed to be satisfied with his behaviour. Little by little he became very happy indeed. All his late anxieties and apprehensions (after his conversation with Lebedeff) now appeared like so many bad dreams--impossible, and even laughable. He did not speak much, only answering such questions as were put to him, and gradually settled down into unbroken silence, listening to what went on, and steeped in perfect satisfaction and contentment. Little by little a sort of inspiration, however, began to stir within him, ready to spring into life at the right moment. When he did begin to speak, it was accidentally, in response to a question, and apparently without any special object. 关于叶潘钦家别墅里要举行晚会，等候别洛孔斯卡娅光临，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜完全确切地告诉了哥哥；正是在这天晚上要等候客人；但是对这件事她表达得又比应该的那样急躁了些。确实，事情安排得过于仓促，甚至还带有几分完全不必要的激动不安，这正是因为在这个家庭里“一切都不像人家那样做法。”这一切可以用以下两点来解释：“不愿再怀疑的”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜急不可耐了；父母的两颗心都在为爱女的幸福热烈而跳动。加上别洛孔斯卡娅真的很快就要离开；因为她的庇护确实在上流社会举足轻重，因为他们指望她将会赏识公爵，因而也寄希望于“上流社会”能直接从神通广大的“老太婆”那里接纳阿格拉娅的未婚夫，因此，如果在这件事上有什么奇怪的地方，在这样的庇护下也就会觉得不那么奇怪了。全部问题在于，父母自己怎么也不能决断：“整个这一件享有没有奇怪的地方？又究竟奇怪到什么程度？还是根本就没有什么奇怪的？”在目前这个关头，由于阿格拉娅的缘故，还什么都不能做出最后决定，有权威、有资格的人士友好和坦率的意见就很适用，无论怎么样，或迟或早，总该把公爵引入他对之没有丝毫概念的上流社会。简言之，他们打算让他“亮相”。不过晚会安排得很简单；等候在这里的仅仅是“家庭的朋友”，最少数的一些人。除了别洛孔斯卡娅，大家还等候一位夫人，是一位相当显要的达官贵人的妻子。年轻人中几乎就叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇一个人，他要陪同别洛孔斯卡娅到来。 别洛孔斯卡娅要来的事，公爵还是在晚会前三天就已听说了；但只是上一天才知道要举行晚会。当然，他发觉了这一家成员忙忙碌碌的样子，根据某些暗示和跟他谈话时忧心忡忡的神情，他甚至领悟到，他们怕他会给人留下什么印象。但是，叶潘钦家似乎每一个人都有这么一种概念，认为他缺少心眼，他自己是怎么也猜不到他们在为他非常担心。因此，大家望着他，内心里甚为苦恼。不过，他也确实几乎没有把面临的这件事看得那么重要；他牵记的完全是另一回事：阿格拉娅一小时比一小时变得越来越任性，越来越忧郁，这使他很伤心。当他知道大家也在等叶甫盖厄·帕夫洛维奇时，他非常高兴并说，他早就希望见到他。不知为什么谁也不喜欢听这儿句话；阿格拉娅烦恼地走出了房间，只是很晚的时候，１１点多了，公爵已经准备离去时，她才利用送他的机会单独对他说了几句话： “我希望，明天白天您不要到我们这儿来，晚上等这些……客人已经聚拢了再来，您知道要有客人吗？” 她说得很不耐烦，而且特别严峻；她是第一次说起这个“晚会”。对她来说一想到客人几乎也是不可忍受的；大家都发现了这一点。也许，她极想为此与父母吵一场，但是骄矜和窖羞使她没有开口。公爵马上就明白，她也在为他担忧（但又不愿承认她在担忧），于是他自己也忽然害怕起来。 “是的，我受到了邀请，”他回答说。 显然她难以再说下去。 “可不可以跟您谈点正经的？哪怕一生中就一次？”她突然异常生气地说，自己也不知道为什么，也无力克制自己。 “可以呀，我洗耳恭听；我很高兴，”公爵喃喃说。 阿格拉娅又沉默了分把钟，然后带着明显的反感开始说： “我不想跟他们争论这件事，有的事情上你简直无法使他们明白过来。所有的规矩总使我厌恶，可妈妈有时常要有这些规矩。爸爸就不提了，他什么都不管。妈妈，当然，是个高尚的女人；您要是胆敢建议她做什么卑鄙的事，那就瞧着吧。咳，可是却对这个……坏女人推崇备至！我不光是说别洛孔斯卡娅一个人，这是个坏老太婆，脾气也坏，可是却很聪明，善于把他们所有的人掌握在自己手里，就是这点有本事；哦，真卑鄙！也很可笑：我们始终是中等阶层的人，也只能是最平常的人；何必硬要钻进上流社会的圈子里去呢？姐姐们也往那里钻；这是ω公爵搅乱了大家的心，叶甫盖尼·帕夫雷奇要来，您为什么高兴？” “听着，阿格拉娅，”公爵说，“我觉得您非常为我担心，怕我明天在这个社交界……出洋相？” “为您？担心？”阿格拉娅满脸通红，火冒三丈，“您哪怕……您哪怕完全名誉扫地，凭什么我要为您担心？那关我什么事？您怎么能用这样的字眼？‘出洋相’是什么意思？这是个下流的字眼，庸俗的字眼。” “这是……学生用语。” “是呀，学生用语！下流的字眼！您好像打算明天就说这样的字眼。在家里在您的词汇里再多找些这样的字眼：一定会产生效果！遗憾的是，您好像会好好地走进屋子里来，您在哪里学会的？当大家都故意望着您的时候，您会体面地拿起茶杯喝茶吗？” “我想我会的。” “这很遗憾；不然我可以笑一笑。至少您要打碎客厅里的一个中国花瓶！它很贵，请打碎它；它是人家送的，妈妈会气得发疯，会当着大家的面哭起来，因为这花瓶对她来说太宝贵了；您做个什么动作，就像您经常做的那样，碰到花瓶，把它打碎。要故意坐得靠近花瓶的地方。” “相反，我耍尽可能竭力坐得远一些。谢谢您的警告。” “这么说，您事先就在担心会做大幅度的动作。我敢打赌，您会谈什么‘题目’，谈什么严肃的、有学问的、高尚的内容，是吗？这该会是多么……体面呀！” “我想这会是愚蠢的……假若不合时宜的话。” “听着，就讲这一回，”阿格拉娅终于不耐烦了，“如果您要谈什么死刑，或者俄罗斯的经济状况，或者‘拯救世界’之类内容，那么……我当然会高兴一阵、大笑一阵，但是……我事先警告您：以后您再也别在我面前出现！听见了吗，我是当真说的！这一次我可是当真说的！” 她确实是当真说出这番威吓的话的，因而甚至在她的话声中可以听到、在她的目光中可以看到某种不同寻常的东西，这是公爵过去从未发现过的，当然，这就不像是开玩笑了。 “咳，您话说得这样，我现在一定会‘说漏嘴”，甚至……可能……打碎花瓶。刚才我什么都不担心、现在却什么都担心。我一定会出洋相的。” “那就别作声。坐着，不要说话。” “那不成；我肯走会因害怕说漏了嘴，会因害怕打碎花瓶。也可能，我会跌倒在光滑的地板上，或者弄出这一类事来，因为过去就发生过；今天一整夜我将会做这样的梦；您为什么要说起这些！” 阿格拉娅阴郁地望了他一眼。 “知道吗，明天我最好还是干脆不来！我就报告说病了，不就完了！”最后他这样决定。 阿格拉娅跺了下脚，甚至气得脸色发白。 “天哪！什么地方见过这样的事啊！人家故意为他……他却不来！哦，天哪！跟您这样头脑不清的人打交道可真有幸！” “好，我来，我来。”公爵尽快打断她说，“我向您保证，整个晚上我将坐在那里一语不发。我就这样做。” “您这样做好极了。您刚才说：‘我就报告说病了；’这种说法您到底是从哪儿捡来的？您干吗老爱用这些词语来跟我说话？您是存心逗我还是怎么的？” “对不想，这也是学生用语；以后我不说了。我很明白，您……是在为我担心……（但是别生气！），对此我非常高兴，您不会相信，我现在有多担心，您的话又使我有多高兴。但是，我向您发誓，所有这种害怕，所有这一切全部不值一提和荒诞无稽。真的，阿格拉娅！但是高兴会留下来。我非常非常喜欢，您是这么一个孩子，这么好、这么善良的孩子！啊，您能成为多么美好的人，阿格拉娅！” 阿格拉娅当然是会生气的，而且已经想要生气了，但是忽然有一种连她自己也感到意外的感觉霎那间袭住了她的整个心灵。 “您不会责备我刚才说的那些粗鲁话……某个时候……以后？”突然她问。 “您说什么呀，您说什么呀？而且您干吗又发人了？瞧您又阴沉地看起人来了！您有时候看起人来太阴沉了，阿格拉娅，您过去从不这样看人，我知道，这是因为……” “闭嘴，闭嘴！” “不，最好还是说出来。我早就想说了；我已经说了，但是……这还不够，因为您不相信我。在我们之间始终隔着一个人……” “闭嘴，闭嘴，闭嘴，闭嘴！”阿格拉娅突然打断他，一边紧紧抓住他的手，几乎是惊恐地望着他。这时有人在喊她；她仿佛很高兴，丢下他就跑去了。 公爵整夜都发热。很奇怪，他已经连续几夜发热病了。这一次在半昏迷状态中他冒出一个念头；要是明天当众毛病发作怎么办！过去不是确实发作过吗？想到这里他浑身冰凉；整夜他都想象着自己处于奇异怪诞、闻所未闻的社交界中，在一群奇怪的人群之中。主要是他“说走了嘴”；他知道什么不该说，但是却说个不停，他竭力劝说他们什么。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇和伊波利特也在客人们中间。而且显得异常友好。 他醒来时快９点了，头脑胀痛，思绪纷乱，印象奇特。不知为什么他十分想见到罗戈任，想见他并要跟他谈许多话，——究竟谈什么，他自己也不知道；后来他已经完全决定为什么事到伊波利特那儿去。他心里有一种模糊浑沌的感觉，以致虽然这天上午他遭遇的一些事给他留下了异常强烈的印象，但是仍然有某种不完整的感受。这些事中的一件便是列别杰夫的来访。 列别杰夫来得相当早，九点刚过，而且几乎完全醉了。虽然近来公爵没有注意观察，但是有一个情况不知怎么地却令他注目：自从伊沃尔金将军从他们这儿搬走后，已经三天了，列别杰夫的行为举止很怪。他不知怎么地突然变得异常肮脏邋遢，领带歪到一旁，常礼服的衣领也撕碎了。他在自己那里甚至还发酒疯，隔一个小院子就可以听到的；维拉有一次哭着跑来诉说原委。现在他来到公爵这里，不知怎么非常奇怪地说了起来，一一还捶着自己胸口，一边认着什么错…… “因为背叛和卑鄙，我得到了……得到了报应……我挨了耳光！”最后他悲切地说。 “耳光！谁打的！……这么一大清早。” “一大清早。”列别杰夫现出讥讽的微笑，说，“时间在这里没有任何意义……即使是肉体上受到报应……但我得到的是精神上的……精神上的耳光，而不是肉体上的！” 他突然不经客套就坐了下来并开始讲起来。他的叙述毫不连贯；公爵皱了下眉头，想要离开，但忽然有几句话使他吃了一惊。他甚至惊讶得呆若木鸡……列别杰夫先生讲的事情十分令人奇怪。 开始看来是讲一封信；提到了阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜的名字。后来列别杰夫突然开始痛心地抱怨公爵本人；可以理解，公爵使他受了委屈。他说，起先在跟著名“人物”（即纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜）打交道这件事上，他有幸得到公爵的信任；但是后来公爵就完全跟他断绝了关系，并且把他从自己身边赶走，使他蒙受羞辱，甚至让人委屈到这种程度，最后一次竟粗暴地仿佛是断然拒绝回答“家里即将发生的变化’，这一并无恶意的问题。列别杰夫流着醉汉的眼泪承认说，“此后我尽经无论如何也不能忍受了，尤其是因为我知道得很多……非常多，从罗戈任那里，从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜那里；从纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜的女友那里，从瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜……本人那里……还有从……甚至从阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜本人那里，您能想象这点吗，经过维拉的媒介，即经过我心爱的女儿维拉，唯一的……是的……不过她不是唯一的女儿，因为我有三个女儿。谁多次给叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜写信，甚至还以极端秘密的方式，嘻－嘻！谁写信告诉她纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜个人的全部关系……和行动，嘻－嘻－嘻！请问，是谁，谁是匿名信作者！” “难道是您？”公爵大声喊道。 “正是，”醉汉神气活现地答道，“就在今天８点半时，总共才半小时前……不，已经有三刻钟了，我通知这位高尚的母亲，我有一件事……重要的事要转告她。我写了一张便条，通过一位姑娘从后面台阶上递进去的，她收下了。” “您刚才见过时莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜了。”公爵问，他几乎不相信自己的耳朵。 “刚才见过并挨了记耳光……精神的耳光。她把信退还给我，甚至是扔还给我的，没有启封……把我不客气地撵了出来……不过，只是精神上的，而不是肉体上的……不过，差不多也就是肉体上的了，稍微差一点！” “什么信她没有拆就扔还给您了。” “难道……嘻一嘻一嘻！是啊，我还没有告诉您！我以为已经说过了……我收到这么一封信是要转交的……” “谁写的？写给谁？” 但是列别杰夫的某些“解释”很难弄懂，哪怕能明白什么也不容易。但是公爵多少还能领会到，信是清晨通过女仆转交给维拉·列别杰娃的，由她再按地址转交…… “就像过去一样……就像过去一样，是那一位写给某个人……（我用“那一位”来称其中一位，仅用“某人”来称另一个，以表鄙视和区别；因为在纯洁无暇和高贵的将军的小姐与……茶花女之间是有很大差别的），就这样，信是由名字第一个字母是Ａ的‘那一位少写的。” “这怎么可能？写给纳斯塔西娅·费利帕去娜，荒谬！”公爵嚷道。 “以前也有过，有过，但这次不是给她，而是给罗戈任，反正一样，是给罗戈任……甚至也曾给捷连季耶夫先生写过信，是转交的，但是是以Ａ开头的那一位写的，”列别杰夫眨了下眼，莞尔一笑说。 因为他常常偏离话题从一件事跳到另一件事并且忘记开始说的是什么，因此公爵便保持静默，让他说下去。但依然异常不清楚：信是经过他还是经过维拉转交？既然他自己要人相信“给罗戈任跟给纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜一个样”，那就是说，多半不是经过他转交的，如果是有书信的话。而现在信是通过什么方式落到了他的手里，这一情况仍然完全没有解释清楚；最可能应当设想是他用了什么办法从维拉那儿偷走了信……悄悄地偷了，怀着某种用意去给叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。这样设想，公爵终于明白了。 “您发疯了！”他极为慌乱地嚷了起来。 “不完全是这样，深深敬爱的公爵，”列别杰夫不无恶意地回答说，“真的，本来我想交给您，给您，交到您本人手中，为您效劳……但是考虑结果觉得还是为那边效劳好，把一切都告知最高尚的母亲……因为以前有一次我曾写信告诉过她，是匿名信；刚才我预先在小纸片上写了，请求在８点２０分时接见，落款也是‘您的秘密通信者’！立即就准许了，马上，甚至还特别急促，让我从后门进去，见最高尚的母亲。” “后来呢？……” ‘在那里的情况您已经知道了，差点没揍我一顿；也就是说只差一点点；甚至可以认为差不多是揍了。她把信扔还了我。的确，她想把信留在自己那儿，我看得出，我注意到这一点，但是改变了主意，扔还给了我，说：‘既然人家信托你这样的人转交，那你就去转交吧……’她甚至生气了。既然在我面前说并不觉得不好意思，那就是说，她是生气了。她是个火爆性子的人！” “现在信在什么地方？” “一直在我这里，瞧。” 他把阿格拉娅给加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇的便信递给了公爵，这正是当天上午两小时以后加夫里拉洋洋得意地给妹妹看的那封信。 “这封信不能留您这儿。” “给您，给您！就是带来给您的，”列别杰夫热烈地接口说，“在有过瞬息的背叛以后，现在我又是您的奴仆了，整个儿都是您的人，从头到脚，从外面到内心！您就痛斥心灵，宽恕这一把胡子吧，就像托马斯·莫尔……在英国和大不列问说过的那样。而照罗马教王说的，则是Ｍｅａ ｃｕ１ｐａ， ｍｃａ ｃｕｌｐａ＊……也就是说他是罗马教皇，而我把他叫做罗马教王。” “这封信应该马上送去，”公爵操起心来，“我来转交。” “最好是不是……最好是不是……最有教养的公爵，最好是不是……这样！” 列别杰夫做了个怪诞的谄媚的鬼脸；他忽然在原地手忙脚乱起来，仿佛突然被针刺了似的，一边狡黠地霎着眼睛，一边用手做着动作表示着什么。 “怎么回事？”公爵威严地间。 “最好是先拆开来。”他似乎是推心置腹、巴结而动人地低语着。 公爵顿时暴跳如雷，列别杰夫本已开始逃开，但跑到门口又停了下来，想等等是否会有宽恕。 “哎，列别杰夫！怎么能，怎么能坠落到您这样低贱无耻的地步？”公爵痛心地大声说。列别杰夫的脸容变得开朗了。 “低贱，低贱！”他马上走近来，一边捶着胸口，一边淌着眼泪。 “这可是卑鄙！” “的确卑鄙！是实在话！” “您这是什么习性……喜欢这样奇怪地行事？您……可简直是间谍！为什么您要写匿名信去惊扰……这么高尚、善良的妇女？再说，为什么阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜没有权利爱给准写信就写信呢？您今天是去告发，还是怎么的？您指望得到什么？是什么促使您去告密？” “纯粹是出于令人愉快的好奇心以及……为高尚的人热心效劳，就这样！”列别杰夫喃喃说，“现在整个几都是您的，又全是您的人了！哪怕把我绞死也是！” “您到叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜那里去，也像现在这副样子？”公爵厌恶而又不无好奇地问。 “不……要干净些……甚至体面些；我已经是在受辱以后才弄得……这副模样。” ＊拉丁语：我有罪，我有罪。 “嗯，好吧，让我安静一会。” “不过，这一请求必须得重复好几次，直至客人终于下决心离去。”他已经完全打开了门，重又回过来，随着脚走到房间中央，又开始用双手做手势表示拆信；他已经不敢用话说出自己的建议来；后来他走出去了，露出安详温和的微笑。 听到这一切心情是异常沉重的。所有这些事中显露出一个主要的不同一般的事实：阿格拉娅处于极大的不安、极大的犹豫、极大的痛苦之中，而且不知道为什么“是出于嫉妒，”公爵暗自低语。当然，也是源于有些居心不良的人搅扰了她，而非常奇怪的是，她竟这么信任他们。当然，在这个没有经验的、但急躁而高傲的头脑中酝酿着某些特殊的计划，也许是极有窖的……极不像话的。公爵异常惶恐，困惑中甚至不知道该拿什么主意。一定得采取什么预防措施，这点他是感觉到的。他又一次瞥了一眼封了口的信上的地址：哦，这里他没有什么怀疑和不安的，因为他相信阿格拉娅；这封信的另一方面使他忐忑不安：他不相信加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，但是，他还是决定亲自把这封信转交给他本人，为此他已经走出了家门，但是在路上他又改变了主意。几乎就在普季岑家门口，就像故意安排似的，碰上了科利亚，于是公爵就委托他把信交到兄长手里，仿佛就是从阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜那里直接转交的。科利亚没有多问就送去了，因而加尼亚根本就想不到，信已经经过了多少中转。回家以后，公爵请维拉·鲁基扬诺夫娜到自己这儿来，对她说了该告诉她的情况，并安慰她，因为她到现在一直在找这封信，急得直哭。当她获悉信被他父亲拿走，惊恐异常（公爵后来从她那儿知道，她不止一次秘密为罗戈任和阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜效劳；她怎么也想不到，这里会有什么对公爵可能不利……） 公爵的心境终于坏到了极点，两小时后，当科利亚差人到他这儿来通知其父病倒时，最初一刻他几乎不能明白是怎么回事。但正是这一事件使他恢复了常态，因为它强烈地转移了他的注意力。他在尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜那里（病人自然被送到她这里）差不多一直耽到晚上。他几乎帮不上什么忙，但有这么一种人，患难者在艰难的时刻只要见到他们在自己身边，便不知怎么地会感到宽慰。科利亚惊吓得不得了，歇斯底里地哭泣着，但是他一直在当跑腿：跑去找医生，找了三位，又跑药房，还去了理发铺。＊总算使将军死而复苏，但是没有恢复知觉；医生表示，“无论怎样，病人处于危险之中”。瓦里娅和尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜寸步不离病人，加尼亚感到窘困和震惊，但不想到楼上去，甚至怕见病人，他绞着自己的双手，在与公爵语无伦次的谈话中他能表达的就是，“这样的不幸，仿佛故意似的，偏偏在这个时候！”公爵觉得，他能明白加尼亚所指的是什么时候，在普季岑家里公爵已经遇不到伊波利特了。到傍晚时列别杰夫跑来了，在上午的“解释”以后他一直睡到现在没有醒过。现在他差不多是清醒的，在病人面前哭洒了真诚的眼泪，犹如哭自己的亲兄弟似的。他哭诉着，自责着，但是并没有解释是怎么一回事，他还一再缠着尼娜·亚历山德罗夫问，不停地要她相信，“是他，他本人就是原因，不是别人而正是他……纯粹出于令人快活的好奇心……” 死者“（不知为什么他这么固执地称还活着的将军）甚至是最具天才的人！”他特别认真地坚持将军是天才这一点，仿佛因此能在此刻带来什么不同一般的好处似的，尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜看见他的真诚泪水，终于不带任何责备，甚至几乎是温柔地对他说，“好了，上帝保佑您，好了，别哭了，好了，上帝会原谅您的！’；列别杰失彼这些话和说话的语气震惊得整个晚上已经不想离开尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜的身边（所有后来几天直至将军死去，他几乎从早到夜都在他们家里度过的）。在这一天内叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜两位差人到尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜这儿来探询病人的健康状况，晚上９点公爵来到叶潘钦家已经宾客满座的客厅，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜又立即开始向他询问病人的情况，既关切又详尽，她也郑重其事地回答了别洛孔斯卡娅的问题：）病人是谁？尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜是谁？”公爵对此颇为满意。他自己在向叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜做解释时，谈吐“非常优雅”，照阿格拉娅两位姐姐事后形容的那样：“谦逊，平和，没有多余的话，没有手势，庄重得体：进来时风度翩翩；衣着非常漂亮”，不仅没有像上一天担心的那样“在光滑的地板上摔到”，而且显然给大家留下了甚至愉快的印象。 从公爵方面来说，他坐下来并打量了周围，马上就发现，所有聚集在这里的人绝非如昨天阿格拉娅用来吓唬他的虚构的样子，也不是夜间他做恶梦见到的可怕的样子。一生中他第一次见到的被冠以可怕的名称“上流社会”的一角。由于某些特别的打算，设想和爱好，他早已渴望着深入到这个颇具迷惑力的人圈里，用此他对第一个印象有苦强烈兴趣。这初步印象甚至是迷人的。不知怎么地，他突然觉得，所有这些人仿佛生下来就是这样呆在一起的，仿佛叶潘钦家今晚没有举办什么“晚会”，没有邀请什么宾客，所有这些人全是“自己人”，而他自己也早已是他们的忠诚朋友和志同道合者，现在是小别之后又回到他们这儿来，优雅的举止、纯朴的为人和表面的坦诚几乎具有迷人的魅力。他怎么也想不到，所有这一切纯朴、高雅、机智和高度的自尊，也许都只是富丽堂皇的艺术精品，大部分宾客，尽管有着令人肃然起敬的外表，却是些相当空虚贫乏的人物，不过，他们在自鸣得意之中自己也不知道，他们身上的许多优点只是糟巧的装饰品，而且这也不是他们的过错，因为他们是不自觉地继承遗产得到它们的。公爵因为沉缅于自己得到的美妙的第一印象之中，因此甚至不想去怀疑这一点。倒如，他看到，这个老人，这个达官显要，论年龄可以做他的爷爷，甚至中断自己的谈话来听他这么一个涉世不深的年轻人说话，不仅听他说，而且显然还看重他的意见，对他这么和蔼可亲、这么真诚温厚，而他们素昧平生，才初次相见。也许，这种礼貌的细致周到对热情敏感的公爵最有影响。也许，他事先就对这种美好的印象过于好感，甚至偏爱。 ＊从前理发铺兼用放血等土法治病。 不过，所有这些人虽然无疑是“家庭的朋友”，彼此之间也是朋友，刚才把公爵介绍给他们并与之结识时，他也是这么看待他们的。

Part 4 Chapter 5 IN point of fact, Varia had rather exaggerated the certainty of her news as to the prince's betrothal to Aglaya. Very likely, with the perspicacity of her sex, she gave out as an accomplished fact what she felt was pretty sure to become a fact in a few days. Perhaps she could not resist the satisfaction of pouring one last drop of bitterness into her brother Gania's cup, in spite of her love for him. At all events, she had been unable to obtain any definite news from the Epanchin girls--the most she could get out of them being hints and surmises, and so on. Perhaps Aglaya's sisters had merely been pumping Varia for news while pretending to impart information; or perhaps, again, they had been unable to resist the feminine gratification of teasing a friend--for, after all this time, they could scarcely have helped divining the aim of her frequent visits. On the other hand, the prince, although he had told Lebedeff,--as we know, that nothing had happened, and that he had nothing to impart,--the prince may have been in error. Something strange seemed to have happened, without anything definite having actually happened. Varia had guessed that with her true feminine instinct. How or why it came about that everyone at the Epanchins' became imbued with one conviction--that something very important had happened to Aglaya, and that her fate was in process of settlement--it would be very difficult to explain. But no sooner had this idea taken root, than all at once declared that they had seen and observed it long ago; that they had remarked it at the time of the "poor knight" joke, and even before, though they had been unwilling to believe in such nonsense. So said the sisters. Of course, Lizabetha Prokofievna had foreseen it long before the rest; her "heart had been sore" for a long while, she declared, and it was now so sore that she appeared to be quite overwhelmed, and the very thought of the prince became distasteful to her. There was a question to be decided--most important, but most difficult; so much so, that Mrs. Epanchin did not even see how to put it into words. Would the prince do or not? Was all this good or bad? If good (which might be the case, of course), WHY good? If bad (which was hardly doubtful), WHEREIN, especially, bad? Even the general, the paterfamilias, though astonished at first, suddenly declared that, "upon his honour, he really believed he had fancied something of the kind, after all. At first, it seemed a new idea, and then, somehow, it looked as familiar as possible." His wife frowned him down there. This was in the morning; but in the evening, alone with his wife, he had given tongue again. "Well, really, you know"--(silence)--"of course, you know all this is very strange, if true, which I cannot deny; but"-- (silence).--" But, on the other hand, if one looks things in the face, you know--upon my honour, the prince is a rare good fellow-- and--and--and--well, his name, you know--your family name--all this looks well, and perpetuates the name and title and all that-- which at this moment is not standing so high as it might--from one point of view--don't you know? The world, the world is the world, of course--and people will talk--and--and--the prince has property, you know--if it is not very large--and then he--he--" (Continued silence, and collapse of the general.) Hearing these words from her husband, Lizabetha Prokofievna was driven beside herself. According to her opinion, the whole thing had been one huge, fantastical, absurd, unpardonable mistake. "First of all, this prince is an idiot, and, secondly, he is a fool--knows nothing of the world, and has no place in it. Whom can he be shown to? Where can you take him to? What will old Bielokonski say? We never thought of such a husband as THAT for our Aglaya!" Of course, the last argument was the chief one. The maternal heart trembled with indignation to think of such an absurdity, although in that heart there rose another voice, which said: "And WHY is not the prince such a husband as you would have desired for Aglaya?" It was this voice which annoyed Lizabetha Prokofievna more than anything else. For some reason or other, the sisters liked the idea of the prince. They did not even consider it very strange; in a word, they might be expected at any moment to range themselves strongly on his side. But both of them decided to say nothing either way. It had always been noticed in the family that the stronger Mrs. Epanchin's opposition was to any project, the nearer she was, in reality, to giving in. Alexandra, however, found it difficult to keep absolute silence on the subject. Long since holding, as she did, the post of "confidential adviser to mamma," she was now perpetually called in council, and asked her opinion, and especially her assistance, in order to recollect "how on earth all this happened?" Why did no one see it? Why did no one say anything about it? What did all that wretched "poor knight" joke mean? Why was she, Lizabetha Prokofievna, driven to think, and foresee, and worry for everybody, while they all sucked their thumbs, and counted the crows in the garden, and did nothing? At first, Alexandra had been very careful, and had merely replied that perhaps her father's remark was not so far out: that, in the eyes of the world, probably the choice of the prince as a husband for one of the Epanchin girls would be considered a very wise one. Warming up, however, she added that the prince was by no means a fool, and never had been; and that as to "place in the world," no one knew what the position of a respectable person in Russia would imply in a few years--whether it would depend on successes in the government service, on the old system, or what. To all this her mother replied that Alexandra was a freethinker, and that all this was due to that "cursed woman's rights question." Half an hour after this conversation, she went off to town, and thence to the Kammenny Ostrof, ["Stone Island," a suburb and park of St. Petersburg] to see Princess Bielokonski, who had just arrived from Moscow on a short visit. The princess was Aglaya's godmother. "Old Bielokonski"listened to all the fevered and despairing lamentations of Lizabetha Prokofievna without the least emotion; the tears of this sorrowful mother did not evoke answering sighs-- in fact, she laughed at her. She was a dreadful old despot, this princess; she could not allow equality in anything, not even in friendship of the oldest standing, and she insisted on treating Mrs. Epanchin as her protegee, as she had been thirty-five years ago. She could never put up with the independence and energy of Lizabetha's character. She observed that, as usual, the whole family had gone much too far ahead, and had converted a fly into an elephant; that, so far as she had heard their story, she was persuaded that nothing of any seriousness had occurred; that it would surely be better to wait until something DID happen; that the prince, in her opinion, was a very decent young fellow, though perhaps a little eccentric, through illness, and not quite as weighty in the world as one could wish. The worst feature was, she said, Nastasia Philipovna. Lizabetha Prokofievna well understood that the old lady was angry at the failure of Evgenie Pavlovitch--her own recommendation. She returned home to Pavlofsk in a worse humour than when she left, and of course everybody in the house suffered. She pitched into everyone, because, she declared, they had 'gone mad.' Why were things always mismanaged in her house? Why had everybody been in such a frantic hurry in this matter? So far as she could see, nothing whatever had happened. Surely they had better wait and see what was to happen, instead of making mountains out of molehills. And so the conclusion of the matter was that it would be far better to take it quietly, and wait coolly to see what would turn up. But, alas! peace did not reign for more than ten minutes. The first blow dealt to its power was in certain news communicated to Lizabetha Prokofievna as to events which bad happened during her trip to see the princess. (This trip had taken place the day after that on which the prince had turned up at the Epanchins at nearly one o'clock at night, thinking it was nine.) The sisters replied candidly and fully enough to their mother's impatient questions on her return. They said, in the first place, that nothing particular had happened since her departure; that the prince had been, and that Aglaya had kept him waiting a long while before she appeared--half an hour, at least; that she had then come in, and immediately asked the prince to have a game of chess; that the prince did not know the game, and Aglaya had beaten him easily; that she had been in a wonderfully merry mood, and had laughed at the prince, and chaffed him so unmercifully that one was quite sorry to see his wretched expression. She had then asked him to play cards--the game called "little fools." At this game the tables were turned completely, for the prince had shown himself a master at it. Aglaya had cheated and changed cards, and stolen others, in the most bare-faced way, but, in spite of everything the prince had beaten her hopelessly five times running, and she had been left "little fool" each time. Aglaya then lost her temper, and began to say such awful things to the prince that he laughed no more, but grew dreadfully pale, especially when she said that she should not remain in the house with him, and that he ought to be ashamed of coming to their house at all, especially at night, "AFTER ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED." So saying, she had left the room, banging the door after her, and the prince went off, looking as though he were on his way to a funeral, in spite of all their attempts at consolation. Suddenly, a quarter of an hour after the prince's departure, Aglaya had rushed out of her room in such a hurry that she had not even wiped her eyes, which were full of tears. She came back because Colia had brought a hedgehog. Everybody came in to see the hedgehog. In answer to their questions Colia explained that the hedgehog was not his, and that he had left another boy, Kostia Lebedeff, waiting for him outside. Kostia was too shy to come in, because he was carrying a hatchet; they had bought the hedgehog and the hatchet from a peasant whom they had met on the road. He had offered to sell them the hedgehog, and they had paid fifty copecks for it; and the hatchet had so taken their fancy that they had made up their minds to buy it of their own accord. On hearing this, Aglaya urged Colia to sell her the hedgehog; she even called him "dear Colia," in trying to coax him. He refused for a long time, but at last he could hold out no more, and went to fetch Kostia Lebedeff. The latter appeared, carrying his hatchet, and covered with confusion. Then it came out that the hedgehog was not theirs, but the property of a schoolmate, one Petroff, who had given them some money to buy Schlosser's History for him, from another schoolfellow who at that moment was driven to raising money by the sale of his books. Colia and Kostia were about to make this purchase for their friend when chance brought the hedgehog to their notice, and they had succumbed to the temptation of buying it. They were now taking Petroff the hedgehog and hatchet which they had bought with his money, instead of Schiosser's History. But Aglaya so entreated them that at last they consented to sell her the hedgehog. As soon as she had got possession of it, she put it in a wicker basket with Colia's help, and covered it with a napkin. Then she said to Colia: "Go and take this hedgehog to the prince from me, and ask him to accept it as a token of my profound respect." Colia joyfully promised to do the errand, but he demanded explanations. "What does the hedgehog mean? What is the meaning of such a present?" Aglaya replied that it was none of his business. " I am sure that there is some allegory about it," Colia persisted. Aglaya grew angry, and called him "a silly boy." "If I did not respect all women in your person," replied Colia, "and if my own principles would permit it, I would soon prove to you, that I know how to answer such an insult!" But, in the end, Colia went off with the hedgehog in great delight, followed by Kostia Lebedeff. Aglaya's annoyance was soon over, and seeing that Colia was swinging the hedgehog's basket violently to and fro, she called out to him from the verandah, as if they had never quarrelled: "Colia, dear, please take care not to drop him!" Colia appeared to have no grudge against her, either, for he stopped, and answered most cordially: "No, I will not drop him! Don't be afraid, Aglaya Ivanovna!" After which he went on his way. Aglaya burst out laughing and ran up to her room, highly delighted. Her good spirits lasted the whole day. All this filled poor Lizabetha's mind with chaotic confusion. What on earth did it all mean? The most disturbing feature was the hedgehog. What was the symbolic signification of a hedgehog? What did they understand by it? What underlay it? Was it a cryptic message? Poor General Epanchin "put his foot in it" by answering the above questions in his own way. He said there was no cryptic message at all. As for the hedgehog, it was just a hedgehog, which meant nothing--unless, indeed, it was a pledge of friendship,--the sign of forgetting of offences and so on. At all events, it was a joke, and, of course, a most pardonable and innocent one. We may as well remark that the general had guessed perfectly accurately. The prince, returning home from the interview with Aglaya, had sat gloomy and depressed for half an hour. He was almost in despair when Colia arrived with the hedgehog. Then the sky cleared in a moment. The prince seemed to arise from the dead; he asked Colia all about it, made him repeat the story over and over again, and laughed and shook hands with the boys in his delight. It seemed clear to the prince that Aglaya forgave him, and that he might go there again this very evening; and in his eyes that was not only the main thing, but everything in the world. "What children we are still, Colia!" he cried at last, enthusiastically,--"and how delightful it is that we can be children still!" "Simply--my dear prince,--simply she is in love with you,--that's the whole of the secret!" replied Colia, with authority. The prince blushed, but this time he said nothing. Colia burst out laughing and clapped his hands. A minute later the prince laughed too, and from this moment until the evening he looked at his watch every other minute to see how much time he had to wait before evening came. But the situation was becoming rapidly critical. Mrs. Epanchin could bear her suspense no longer, and in spite of the opposition of husband and daughters, she sent for Aglaya, determined to get a straightforward answer out of her, once for all. "Otherwise," she observed hysterically, "I shall die before evening." It was only now that everyone realized to what a ridiculous dead- lock the whole matter had been brought. Excepting feigned surprise, indignation, laughter, and jeering--both at the prince and at everyone who asked her questions,--nothing could be got out of Aglaya. Lizabetha Prokofievna went to bed and only rose again in time for tea, when the prince might be expected. She awaited him in trembling agitation; and when he at last arrived she nearly went off into hysterics. Muishkin himself came in very timidly. He seemed to feel his way, and looked in each person's eyes in a questioning way,--for Aglaya was absent, which fact alarmed him at once. This evening there were no strangers present--no one but the immediate members of the family. Prince S. was still in town, occupied with the affairs of Evgenie Pavlovitch's uncle. "I wish at least HE would come and say something!" complained poor Lizabetha Prokofievna. The general sat still with a most preoccupied air. The sisters were looking very serious and did not speak a word, and Lizabetha Prokofievna did not know how to commence the conversation. At length she plunged into an energetic and hostile criticism of railways, and glared at the prince defiantly. Alas Aglaya still did not come--and the prince was quite lost. He had the greatest difficulty in expressing his opinion that railways were most useful institutions,--and in the middle of his speech Adelaida laughed, which threw him into a still worse state of confusion. At this moment in marched Aglaya, as calm and collected as could be. She gave the prince a ceremonious bow and solemnly took up a prominent position near the big round table. She looked at the prince questioningly. All present realized that the moment for the settlement of perplexities had arrived. "Did you get my hedgehog?" she inquired, firmly and almost angrily. Yes, I got it," said the prince, blushing. "Tell us now, at once, what you made of the present? I must have you answer this question for mother's sake; she needs pacifying, and so do all the rest of the family!" "Look here, Aglaya--" began the general. "This--this is going beyond all limits!" said Lizabetha Prokofievna, suddenly alarmed. "It is not in the least beyond all limits, mamma!" said her daughter, firmly. "I sent the prince a hedgehog this morning, and I wish to hear his opinion of it. Go on, prince." "What--what sort of opinion, Aglaya Ivanovna?" "About the hedgehog." "That is--I suppose you wish to know how I received the hedgehog, Aglaya Ivanovna,--or, I should say, how I regarded your sending him to me? In that case, I may tell you--in a word--that I--in fact--" He paused, breathless. "Come--you haven't told us much!" said Aglaya, after waiting some five seconds. "Very well, I am ready to drop the hedgehog, if you like; but I am anxious to be able to clear up this accumulation of misunderstandings. Allow me to ask you, prince,--I wish to hear from you, personally--are you making me an offer, or not?" "Gracious heavens!" exclaimed Lizabetha Prokofievna. The prince started. The general stiffened in his chair; the sisters frowned. "Don't deceive me now, prince--tell the truth. All these people persecute me with astounding questions--about you. Is there any ground for all these questions, or not? Come!" "I have not asked you to marry me yet, Aglaya Ivanovna," said the prince, becoming suddenly animated; "but you know yourself how much I love you and trust you." "No--I asked you this--answer this! Do you intend to ask for my band, or not?" "Yes--I do ask for it!" said the prince, more dead than alive now. There was a general stir in the room. "No--no--my dear girl," began the general. "You cannot proceed like this, Aglaya, if that's how the matter stands. It's impossible. Prince, forgive it, my dear fellow, but--Lizabetha Prokofievna!"--he appealed to his spouse for help--"you must really--" "Not I--not I! I retire from all responsibility," said Lizabetha Prokofievna, with a wave of the hand. "Allow me to speak, please, mamma," said Aglaya. "I think I ought to have something to say in the matter. An important moment of my destiny is about to be decided"--(this is how Aglaya expressed herself)--"and I wish to find out how the matter stands, for my own sake, though I am glad you are all here. Allow me to ask you, prince, since you cherish those intentions, how you consider that you will provide for my happiness?" "I--I don't quite know how to answer your question, Aglaya Ivanovna. What is there to say to such a question? And--and must I answer?" "I think you are rather overwhelmed and out of breath. Have a little rest, and try to recover yourself. Take a glass of water, or--but they'll give you some tea directly." "I love you, Aglaya Ivanovna,--I love you very much. I love only you--and--please don't jest about it, for I do love you very much." "Well, this matter is important. We are not children--we must look into it thoroughly. Now then, kindly tell me--what does your fortune consist of?" "No--Aglaya--come, enough of this, you mustn't behave like this," said her father, in dismay. "It's disgraceful," said Lizabetha Prokofievna in a loud whisper. "She's mad--quite!" said Alexandra. "Fortune--money--do you mean?" asked the prince in some surprise. "Just so." "I have now--let's see--I have a hundred and thirty-five thousand roubles," said the prince, blushing violently. "Is that all, really?" said Aglaya, candidly, without the slightest show of confusion. "However, it's not so bad, especially if managed with economy. Do you intend to serve?" "I--I intended to try for a certificate as private tutor." "Very good. That would increase our income nicely. Have you any intention of being a Kammer-junker?" "A Kammer-junker? I had not thought of it, but--" But here the two sisters could restrain themselves no longer, and both of them burst into irrepressible laughter. Adelaida had long since detected in Aglaya's features the gathering signs of an approaching storm of laughter, which she restrained with amazing self-control. Aglaya looked menacingly at her laughing sisters, but could not contain herself any longer, and the next minute she too had burst into an irrepressible, and almost hysterical, fit of mirth. At length she jumped up, and ran out of the room. "I knew it was all a joke!" cried Adelaida. "I felt it ever since--since the hedgehog." "No, no! I cannot allow this,--this is a little too much," cried Lizabetha Prokofievna, exploding with rage, and she rose from her seat and followed Aglaya out of the room as quickly as she could. The two sisters hurriedly went after her. The prince and the general were the only two persons left in the room. "It's--it's really--now could you have imagined anything like it, Lef Nicolaievitch?" cried the general. He was evidently so much agitated that he hardly knew what he wished to say. "Seriously now, seriously I mean--" "I only see that Aglaya Ivanovna is laughing at me," said the poor prince, sadly. "Wait a bit, my boy, I'll just go--you stay here, you know. But do just explain, if you can, Lef Nicolaievitch, how in the world has all this come about? And what does it all mean? You must understand, my dear fellow; I am a father, you see, and I ought to be allowed to understand the matter--do explain, I beg you!" "I love Aglaya Ivanovna--she knows it,--and I think she must have long known it." The general shrugged his shoulders. "Strange--it's strange," he said, "and you love her very much?" "Yes, very much." "Well--it's all most strange to me. That is--my dear fellow, it is such a surprise--such a blow--that... You see, it is not your financial position (though I should not object if you were a bit richer)--I am thinking of my daughter's happiness, of course, and the thing is--are you able to give her the happiness she deserves? And then--is all this a joke on her part, or is she in earnest? I don't mean on your side, but on hers." At this moment Alexandra's voice was heard outside the door, calling out "Papa!" "Wait for me here, my boy--will you? Just wait and think it all over, and I'll come back directly," he said hurriedly, and made off with what looked like the rapidity of alarm in response to Alexandra's call. He found the mother and daughter locked in one another's arms, mingling their tears. These were the tears of joy and peace and reconciliation. Aglaya was kissing her mother's lips and cheeks and hands; they were hugging each other in the most ardent way. "There, look at her now--Ivan Fedorovitch! Here she is--all of her! This is our REAL Aglaya at last!" said Lizabetha Prokofievna. Aglaya raised her happy, tearful face from her mother's breast, glanced at her father, and burst out laughing. She sprang at him and hugged him too, and kissed him over and over again. She then rushed back to her mother and hid her face in the maternal bosom, and there indulged in more tears. Her mother covered her with a corner of her shawl. "Oh, you cruel little girl! How will you treat us all next, I wonder?" she said, but she spoke with a ring of joy in her voice, and as though she breathed at last without the oppression which she had felt so long. "Cruel?" sobbed Aglaya. "Yes, I AM cruel, and worthless, and spoiled--tell father so,--oh, here he is--I forgot Father, listen!" She laughed through her tears. "My darling, my little idol," cried the general, kissing and fondling her hands (Aglaya did not draw them away); "so you love this young man, do you?" "No, no, no, can't BEAR him, I can't BEAR your young man!" cried Aglaya, raising her head. "And if you dare say that ONCE more, papa--I'm serious, you know, I'm,--do you hear me--I'm serious!" She certainly did seem to be serious enough. She had flushed up all over and her eyes were blazing. The general felt troubled and remained silent, while Lizabetha Prokofievna telegraphed to him from behind Aglaya to ask no questions. "If that's the case, darling--then, of course, you shall do exactly as you like. He is waiting alone downstairs. Hadn't I better hint to him gently that he can go?" The general telegraphed to Lizabetha Prokofievna in his turn. "No, no, you needn't do anything of the sort; you mustn't hint gently at all. I'll go down myself directly. I wish to apologize to this young man, because I hurt his feelings." "Yes, SERIOUSLY," said the general, gravely. "Well, you'd better stay here, all of you, for a little, and I'll go down to him alone to begin with. I'll just go in and then you can follow me almost at once. That's the best way." She had almost reached the door when she turned round again. "I shall laugh--I know I shall; I shall die of laughing," she said, lugubriously. However, she turned and ran down to the prince as fast as her feet could carry her. "Well, what does it all mean? What do you make of it?" asked the general of his spouse, hurriedly. "I hardly dare say," said Lizabetha, as hurriedly, "but I think it's as plain as anything can be." "I think so too, as clear as day; she loves him." "Loves him? She is head over ears in love, that's what she is," put in Alexandra. "Well, God bless her, God bless her, if such is her destiny," said Lizabetha, crossing herself devoutly. "H'm destiny it is," said the general, "and there's no getting out of destiny." With these words they all moved off towards the drawing-room, where another surprise awaited them. Aglaya had not only not laughed, as she had feared, but had gone to the prince rather timidly, and said to him: "Forgive a silly, horrid, spoilt girl"--(she took his hand here)-- "and be quite assured that we all of us esteem you beyond all words. And if I dared to turn your beautiful, admirable simplicity to ridicule, forgive me as you would a little child its mischief. Forgive me all my absurdity of just now, which, of course, meant nothing, and could not have the slightest consequence." She spoke these words with great emphasis. Her father, mother, and sisters came into the room and were much struck with the last words, which they just caught as they entered--"absurdity which of course meant nothing"--and still more so with the emphasis with which Aglaya had spoken. They exchanged glances questioningly, but the prince did not seem to have understood the meaning of Aglaya's words; he was in the highest heaven of delight. "Why do you speak so?" he murmured. "Why do you ask my forgiveness?" He wished to add that he was unworthy of being asked for forgiveness by her, but paused. Perhaps he did understand Aglaya's sentence about "absurdity which meant nothing," and like the strange fellow that he was, rejoiced in the words. Undoubtedly the fact that he might now come and see Aglaya as much as he pleased again was quite enough to make him perfectly happy; that he might come and speak to her, and see her, and sit by her, and walk with her--who knows, but that all this was quite enough to satisfy him for the whole of his life, and that he would desire no more to the end of time? (Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that this might be the case, and she didn't like it; though very probably she could not have put the idea into words.) It would be difficult to describe the animation and high spirits which distinguished the prince for the rest of the evening. He was so happy that "it made one feel happy to look at him," as Aglaya's sisters expressed it afterwards. He talked, and told stories just as he had done once before, and never since, namely on the very first morning of his acquaintance with the Epanchins, six months ago. Since his return to Petersburg from Moscow, he had been remarkably silent, and had told Prince S. on one occasion, before everyone, that he did not think himself justified in degrading any thought by his unworthy words. But this evening he did nearly all the talking himself, and told stories by the dozen, while he answered all questions put to him clearly, gladly, and with any amount of detail. There was nothing, however, of love-making in his talk. His ideas were all of the most serious kind; some were even mystical and profound. He aired his own views on various matters, some of his most private opinions and observations, many of which would have seemed rather funny, so his hearers agreed afterwards, had they not been so well expressed. The general liked serious subjects of conversation; but both he and Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that they were having a little too much of a good thing tonight, and as the evening advanced, they both grew more or less melancholy; but towards night, the prince fell to telling funny stories, and was always the first to burst out laughing himself, which he invariably did so joyously and simply that the rest laughed just as much at him as at his stories. As for Aglaya, she hardly said a word all the evening; but she listened with all her ears to Lef Nicolaievitch's talk, and scarcely took her eyes off him. "She looked at him, and stared and stared, and hung on every word he said," said Lizabetha afterwards, to her husband, "and yet, tell her that she loves him, and she is furious!" "What's to be done? It's fate," said the general, shrugging his shoulders, and, for a long while after, he continued to repeat: "It's fate, it's fate!" We may add that to a business man like General Epanchin the present position of affairs was most unsatisfactory. He hated the uncertainty in which they had been, perforce, left. However, he decided to say no more about it, and merely to look on, and take his time and tune from Lizabetha Prokofievna. The happy state in which the family had spent the evening, as just recorded, was not of very long duration. Next day Aglaya quarrelled with the prince again, and so she continued to behave for the next few days. For whole hours at a time she ridiculed and chaffed the wretched man, and made him almost a laughing- stock. It is true that they used to sit in the little summer-house together for an hour or two at a time, very often, but it was observed that on these occasions the prince would read the paper, or some book, aloud to Aglaya. "Do you know," Aglaya said to him once, interrupting the reading, "I've remarked that you are dreadfully badly educated. You never know anything thoroughly, if one asks you; neither anyone's name, nor dates, nor about treaties and so on. It's a great pity, you know!" "I told you I had not had much of an education," replied the prince. "How am I to respect you, if that's the case? Read on now. No-- don't! Stop reading!" And once more, that same evening, Aglaya mystified them all. Prince S. had returned, and Aglaya was particularly amiable to him, and asked a great deal after Evgenie Pavlovitch. (Muishkin had not come in as yet.) Suddenly Prince S. hinted something about "a new and approaching change in the family." He was led to this remark by a communication inadvertently made to him by Lizabetha Prokofievna, that Adelaida's marriage must be postponed a little longer, in order that the two weddings might come off together. It is impossible to describe Aglaya's irritation. She flared up, and said some indignant words about "all these silly insinuations." She added that "she had no intentions as yet of replacing anybody's mistress." These words painfully impressed the whole party; but especially her parents. Lizabetha Prokofievna summoned a secret council of two, and insisted upon the general's demanding from the prince a full explanation of his relations with Nastasia Philipovna. The general argued that it was only a whim of Aglaya's; and that, had not Prince S. unfortunately made that remark, which had confused the child and made her blush, she never would have said what she did; and that he was sure Aglaya knew well that anything she might have heard of the prince and Nastasia Philipovna was merely the fabrication of malicious tongues, and that the woman was going to marry Rogojin. He insisted that the prince had nothing whatever to do with Nastasia Philipovna, so far as any liaison was concerned; and, if the truth were to be told about it, he added, never had had. Meanwhile nothing put the prince out, and he continued to be in the seventh heaven of bliss. Of course he could not fail to observe some impatience and ill-temper in Aglaya now and then; but he believed in something else, and nothing could now shake his conviction. Besides, Aglaya's frowns never lasted long; they disappeared of themselves. Perhaps he was too easy in his mind. So thought Hippolyte, at all events, who met him in the park one day. "Didn't I tell you the truth now, when I said you were in love?" he said, coming up to Muishkin of his own accord, and stopping him. The prince gave him his hand and congratulated him upon "looking so well." Hippolyte himself seemed to be hopeful about his state of health, as is often the case with consumptives. He had approached the prince with the intention of talking sarcastically about his happy expression of face, but very soon forgot his intention and began to talk about himself. He began complaining about everything, disconnectedly and endlessly, as was his wont. "You wouldn't believe," he concluded, "how irritating they all are there. They are such wretchedly small, vain, egotistical, COMMONPLACE people! Would you believe it, they invited me there under the express condition that I should die quickly, and they are all as wild as possible with me for not having died yet, and for being, on the contrary, a good deal better! Isn't it a comedy? I don't mind betting that you don't believe me!" The prince said nothing. "I sometimes think of coming over to you again," said Hippolyte, carelessly. "So you DON'T think them capable of inviting a man on the condition that he is to look sharp and die?" "I certainly thought they invited you with quite other views." "Ho, ho! you are not nearly so simple as they try to make you out! This is not the time for it, or I would tell you a thing or two about that beauty, Gania, and his hopes. You are being undermined, pitilessly undermined, and--and it is really melancholy to see you so calm about it. But alas! it's your nature--you can't help it!" "My word! what a thing to be melancholy about! Why, do you think I should be any happier if I were to feel disturbed about the excavations you tell me of?" "It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool's paradise! I suppose you don't believe that you have a rival in that quarter?" "Your insinuations as to rivalry are rather cynical, Hippolyte. I'm sorry to say I have no right to answer you! As for Gania, I put it to you, CAN any man have a happy mind after passing through what he has had to suffer? I think that is the best way to look at it. He will change yet, he has lots of time before him, and life is rich; besides--besides..." the prince hesitated. "As to being undermined, I don't know what in the world you are driving at, Hippolyte. I think we had better drop the subject!" "Very well, we'll drop it for a while. You can't look at anything but in your exalted, generous way. You must put out your finger and touch a thing before you'll believe it, eh? Ha! ha! ha! I suppose you despise me dreadfully, prince, eh? What do you think?" "Why? Because you have suffered more than we have?" "No; because I am unworthy of my sufferings, if you like!" "Whoever CAN suffer is worthy to suffer, I should think. Aglaya Ivanovna wished to see you, after she had read your confession, but--" "She postponed the pleasure--I see--I quite understand!" said Hippolyte, hurriedly, as though he wished to banish the subject. "I hear--they tell me--that you read her all that nonsense aloud? Stupid @ bosh it was--written in delirium. And I can't understand how anyone can be so I won't say CRUEL, because the word would be humiliating to myself, but we'll say childishly vain and revengeful, as to REPROACH me with this confession, and use it as a weapon against me. Don't be afraid, I'm not referring to yourself." "Oh, but I'm sorry you repudiate the confession, Hippolyte--it is sincere; and, do you know, even the absurd parts of it--and these are many" (here Hippolyte frowned savagely) "are, as it were, redeemed by suffering--for it must have cost you something to admit what you there say--great torture, perhaps, for all I know. Your motive must have been a very noble one all through. Whatever may have appeared to the contrary, I give you my word, I see this more plainly every day. I do not judge you; I merely say this to have it off my mind, and I am only sorry that I did not say it all THEN--" Hippolyte flushed hotly. He had thought at first that the prince was "humbugging" him; but on looking at his face he saw that he was absolutely serious, and had no thought of any deception. Hippolyte beamed with gratification. "And yet I must die," he said, and almost added: "a man like me @ "And imagine how that Gania annoys me! He has developed the idea --or pretends to believe--that in all probability three or four others who heard my confession will die before I do. There's an idea for you--and all this by way of CONSOLING me! Ha! ha! ha! In the first place they haven't died yet; and in the second, if they DID die--all of them--what would be the satisfaction to me in that? He judges me by himself. But he goes further, he actually pitches into me because, as he declares, 'any decent fellow' would die quietly, and that 'all this' is mere egotism on my part. He doesn't see what refinement of egotism it is on his own part--and at the same time, what ox-like coarseness! Have you ever read of the death of one Stepan Gleboff, in the eighteenth century? I read of it yesterday by chance." "Who was he?" He was impaled on a stake in the time of Peter." "I know, I know! He lay there fifteen hours in the hard frost, and died with the most extraordinary fortitude--I know--what of him?" "Only that God gives that sort of dying to some, and not to others. Perhaps you think, though, that I could not die like Gleboff?" "Not at all!" said the prince, blushing. "I was only going to say that you--not that you could not be like Gleboff--but that you would have been more like @ "I guess what you mean--I should be an Osterman, not a Gleboff-- eh? Is that what you meant?" "What Osterman?" asked the prince in some surprise. "Why, Osterman--the diplomatist. Peter's Osterman," muttered Hippolyte, confused. There was a moment's pause of mutual confusion. Oh, no, no!" said the prince at last, "that was not what I was going to say--oh no! I don't think you would ever have been like Osterman." Hippolyte frowned gloomily. "I'll tell you why I draw the conclusion," explained the prince, evidently desirous of clearing up the matter a little. "Because, though I often think over the men of those times, I cannot for the life of me imagine them to be like ourselves. It really appears to me that they were of another race altogether than ourselves of today. At that time people seemed to stick so to one idea; now, they are more nervous, more sensitive, more enlightened--people of two or three ideas at once--as it were. The man of today is a broader man, so to speak--and I declare I believe that is what prevents him from being so self-contained and independent a being as his brother of those earlier days. Of course my remark was only made under this impression, and not in the least @ "I quite understand. You are trying to comfort me for the naiveness with which you disagreed with me--eh? Ha! ha! ha! You are a regular child, prince! However, I cannot help seeing that you always treat me like--like a fragile china cup. Never mind, never mind, I'm not a bit angry! At all events we have had a very funny talk. Do you know, all things considered, I should like to be something better than Osterman! I wouldn't take the trouble to rise from the dead to be an Osterman. However, I see I must make arrangements to die soon, or I myself--. Well--leave me now! Au revoir. Look here--before you go, just give me your opinion: how do you think I ought to die, now? I mean--the best, the most virtuous way? Tell me!" "You should pass us by and forgive us our happiness," said the prince in a low voice. "Ha! ha! ha! I thought so. I thought I should hear something like that. Well, you are--you really are--oh dear me! Eloquence, eloquence! Good-bye!" 说实在的，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜在和兄长的谈话中有点夸大了公爵向阿格拉娅·叶潘钦娜求婚的消息的确切性。也许，作为一个有洞察力的女人，她预测到在不久的将来必然会发生的事情；也许，由于幻想（其实她自己也不相信这种幻想）烟消云散不免伤感之余，她，作为一个凡人，以夸大不幸为快，不放弃再往其兄长心中浇上更多的毒汁，虽然她是真挚地爱他、同情他。但是，无论如何她不可能从自己的女友叶潘钦娜小姐那里得到那么确切的消息；只有一些暗示，欲言又止的话，避而不谈，猜测。也可能，阿格拉娅的姐姐们有意泄露一点风声，以便能从瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜那里获悉些情况；最后，也可能她们不想放弃女人的乐趣，要稍稍逗弄一下童年时的女友；这么长时间里她们不可能一点也看不出她的意图，哪怕是蛛丝蚂迹。 从另一方面来说，公爵要列别杰夫相信，他没什么可告诉他的，他似乎也没有发生出什么特别情况，虽然这完全是实话，但是也可能他锗了。确实，所有的人似乎都发生了某种非常奇怪的情况：什么都没有发生，同时又仿佛发生了许多事。瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜凭着女人的本能准确地猜到了后面这一点。 然而，结果是，叶潘钦一家一下子抱定一致的想法，认为阿格拉娅发生了某种重大的情况，正在决定她的命运，--这很难讲得有条有理。但是这个想法在大家头脑里一下子刚刚闪过，大家一下子立即认为，早已看清了这一切并且清楚地预料到这一切；还是从“可怜的骑士”起，甚至更早些，一切就已很明白，只不过那时还不愿相信这样荒唐的事。姐姐们是这么说的；当然，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜比所有的人都早预见到并知道这一切；她早就已经害了“心病”，但是，久也罢，不久也罢，现在想到公爵，她突然会觉得十分不合心意，其实是因为这种想法把她搞得惶惑不知其所以然。这里有一个问题是必须立即解决的；但是不仅不能解决，可怜的叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜无论怎么努力，甚至都不能完全明确地在自己面前提出问题。事情是很难办的：“公爵好还是不好？这一切好还是不好？如果不好（这是无疑的），那么究竟不好在哪里？而如果可能是好（这也是可能的），那么又好在哪里？”一家之主的伊万·费奥多罗维奇当然先是惊讶，但是后来一下子就承认：“真的，在这一段时间里我曾经好像觉得有类似这样的事发生，间或突然仿佛出现这种幻觉！”在夫人威严的目光下他马上就闭口不言了，但是早晨他不说话，到了晚上与夫人单独在一起又不得不说的时候，忽然似乎特别有勇气地说出了几点出人意料的想法：“实质上究竟怎样呢？……”（静默。）“如果是真的，当然，这一切是很奇怪的，我现在不争论，但是……”（又是静默）“而另一方面，如果就这么直截了当地看问题，那么，说真的，公爵可是个非常好的小伙子，而且……而且……嗨，说到底，他的姓氏是我们家族的姓氏，这么说吧，在上流社会眼中这一切将具有支持处于卑微地位的家族姓氏的性质。上流社会就是上流社会；但是公爵毕竟不是没有财产的人，尽管只是有一些。他有……还有……还有……”（长时间的静默和绝然中断谈话）叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜听完丈夫的活，不顾一切地发作了。 在她看来，发生的一切是“不可原谅的，甚至是犯罪的胡闹，不切实际的嬉戏一场，是愚蠢而又荒唐的！”。首先“这个小公爵是个有病的白痴，其次是个傻瓜，既不了解上流社会，在上流社会也没有地位，你把他介绍给谁，把他塞到哪里去？是个不可容忍的民主派，连个官衔也没有，还有……还有……别洛孔斯卡娅会怎么说？再说，我们为阿格拉娅想象和选定的丈夫难道是这样的一个人，是这么一个女婿？”最后一个论据自然是最主要的。因为有这些想法，母亲的心在颤栗，在渗血，在流泪，尽管与此同时内心里发生某种微弱的声音突然对她说：“公爵到底什么地方不是您想要的那种人？”咳，正是这些发自心扉的反对声使叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜最为烦难。 阿格拉娅的姐姐们不知为什么很喜欢公爵当妹夫的主意，甚至觉得这主意并不太奇怪；总之，她们甚至一下子完全站到了公爵一边。但她们俩决定保持沉默。一下子就能发现，在这个家庭里，有时候在某个共同的有争议的家庭问题上，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜越是执拗、坚定地反对和否定，对大家来说这反而是一种迹象，说明她可能已经同意这一点了。但是亚历山德拉·伊万诺夫娜无法完全保持沉默。妈妈早就承认她是自己的顾问，现在经常叫她去，要求她发表意见，主要的是要她回忆。即：“这一切是怎么发生的，为什么谁也没有看到这一点？为什么当时没说，当初这个恶劣的‘可怜的骑士’的称呼意味着什么？为什么她叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜一个人注定了要对大家都操心，要发现和预测一切，而所有别的人可以仰天数鸦，漠不关心。”等等，等等。亚历山德拉·伊万诺夫娜开始很小心谨慎，只是表示她觉得爸爸的想法是相当正确的，在上流社会眼里，选择梅什金公爵为叶利钦家的一个女婿可能会觉得很合适的。渐渐地，她激动起来，甚至添加说，公爵根本不是“傻瓜”，而且从来也不曾是这样的人，至于说地位，那么还只有上帝才知道，经过几年之后在我们俄罗斯一个正派人的地位将取决干什么？是过去的必不可少的官运亨通还是别的？对这些话妈妈立即斩钉截铁地予以指出，亚历山德拉是个“自由派，这一切全是他们该死的妇女问题”。后来，过了半小时她便到城里去了，再由那里去石岛见别洛孔斯卡娅，仿佛故意似的，那时她正在彼得堡，但很快又要离去。她是阿格拉娅的教母。 别洛孔斯卡娅“老大婆”听完叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜全部激昂、绝望的坦陈以后，”丝毫不为偶然不知所措的母亲的眼泪所动，甚至还讥嘲地望着她。这是一个可怕的专制老大婆。对于朋友，即使是最老交情的朋友，她也不能忍受平等相待，而对叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜，她完全把她看做是自己的被保护人，就像３５年前一样，因此绝不容忍她性格中的生硬和独立。她顺便指出，“所有他们这些人根据自己一直的习惯，好像过于性急超前，小题大作，把苍蝇说成了大象；无论她仔细听了多少话，都不相信他们确实已发生了什么了不起的事；最好是不是等一等，看看还会有什么情况；照她看来，公爵是个正派的年轻人，虽然他有病，有些怪，而且太没有地位。最槽糕的是，他竟公然养着一个情妇。”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜非常清楚，别洛孔斯卡娅对由她举荐的叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇未能成功而有些生气。比她回到帕夫洛夫斯克自己家中去的时候还要恼怒，马上大家都挨了一顿克，主要是“大家都疯了”，谁也绝不会这样行事，只有他们才这样；“你们急什么？出什么事了？无论我怎么仔细观察，怎么也得不出确实出什么事的结论！等一等，看看还会有什么情况！别去管伊万·费奥多罗维奇会产生什么幻觉，那不是把苍蝇说成大象，小题大作？”等等，等等。 因而，结论是应该镇走下来，冷静地观望和等待。但是，呜呼，平静的状态维持不到１０分钟。对冷静的第一个冲击便是妈妈去石岛期间家里发生情况的消息。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜是在上一天公爵来过之后第二天早晨去的，不过公爵不是９点来，而已是１２点了。两位姐姐非常详细地回答了妈妈急不可耐的盘问。首先，“她不在时好像没有发生什么特别的事，”公爵来过了，阿格拉娅很长时间没有出来见他，约模有半小时，后来她出来了，一出来便马上建议公爵下棋：公爵不会下棋，阿格拉娅一下子就胜了他；她很快活并拼命羞他不会下棋，拼命取笑他，因而看着公爵都令人可怜。后来她提议玩牌，打“杜拉克”。但这下结果完全相反，公爵在打“杜拉克”中显示出非凡的水平，简直就像……像教授，他打牌很有技巧；可阿格拉娅弄虚作假，又是偷换牌，又当着他面偷他的赢牌，但每次他还是让她当了“杜拉克”；连续五次。阿格拉娅狂得不得了，甚至完全放肆不羁，冲着公爵说了许多讽刺挖苦和粗鲁无礼的话，致使公爵收敛了笑容；当她最后对他说，“只要他坐在这里，她的脚就不进这个房间，说在发生了那一切后，而且还是夜间十二点多，公爵上她们这儿来，简直是不知羞耻，”公爵的脸色一下子变得刷白。后来阿格拉娅砰地关上门走了。尽管她们劝慰了一阵，公爵走时就像参加了葬礼一样。公爵走后过了１刻钟，阿格拉娅忽然从楼上跑到下面露台上，而且那么急促，连眼睛也不擦，而她的眼睛是哭过的，她跑下来是因为科利亚来了，带来了一只刺猬。她们大家开始看刺猬，科利亚则解释她们提出的问题；说刺猬不是他的，他现在是跟同伴、另一个中学生科斯佳·列别杰夫一起来的、“他不好意思进来，留在外面，因为他带着一把斧头，而刺猖和斧头是刚向一个路上遇到的农夫买的。这农关卖刺猬得了５０戈比，而斧头则是他们说服他卖的，因为是顺便，再说是一把很好的斧头。这时阿格拉娅忽然开始缠着科利亚，要他把刺猬转卖给她、她毫无顾忌，竟然称科利亚“亲爱的’，科利亚好久都未同意，但最后坚持不住，便叫来了科斯佳·列别杰夫，他进来时确实拎了一把斧头，显得非常窘困。但这一下忽然弄清了；原来这刺猬根本不是他们的！而是属于姓彼得罗夫的第三个男孩子的，他给了他们俩钱，让他们为他向第四个男孩买一本斯洛塞尔的《历史》，那男孩需要钱用，愿意便宜出售；他们是去买斯洛塞尔的《历史》的。但忍不住买了刺猬，因而，刺猬和斧头是属于那第三个男孩的，他们现在就拿这两件东西代替斯洛塞尔的《历史》去给他；但阿格拉娅拿住下放，弄到最后，他们决定把刺猬买给她。阿格拉娅刚得到刺猬，在科利亚的帮助下立即把它放到一只蓝子里，盖上一块餐巾，叫科利亚哪儿也别去，立即将刺猬带给公爵，代她请公爵收下。以表示“最深切的敬意”。科利亚高兴地同意了，并允诺送到，但马上缠往她问：“刺猬和类似的礼物意味着什么？”阿格拉娅回答说，这不关他的事。他回答说，其中包含着寓意。阿格拉娅很生气，毫不客气地回说，他只是个乳臭小儿、仅此而已。科利亚当即反击，要不是看在她是个女的份上，此外还有自己的信念，不然他会马上向她证明，他也会还以类似的侮辱。不过，最终科利亚还是高高兴兴地带着刺猬走了，科斯佳·列别杰夫则在他后面跑着；阿格拉娅看见科利亚手中的篮子显得过分厉害，忍不住从露台上冲着他背景喊道：“科利亚，请别掉出来，亲爱的！”仿佛刚才没跟他骂嘴似的。科利亚停下来，也像没有骂架似的，胸有成竹地喊道：“不会的，不会掉出来；阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜。请尽管放心！”说完又低头跑了起来。此后阿格拉娅开怀大奖，跑到自己房间去时相当满意，后来一整天都很快活。这样的消息使叶莉扎纳塔·曾罗科菲耶夫娜完全惊呆了。好像，有什么好大惊小怪的？但是；看来她就是这么一种心境。她的焦虑不安被刺激到了异常地步，而主要的是刺猬；这刺猬意味着什么？这里有什么默契？这里暗示着什么？“这是什么信号？这是什么密码？况且盘问时正好在场的可怜的伊万·费奥多罗维奇一句答话就把全部事都搞坏了。据他看，这里根本没有什么密码，关于刺猬——“仅仅是刺猬而已，此外，也许只是表示友情，抛弃前嫌，寻求和解，总之，这一切都是沟通，但无论如何是天真无邪、情有可原的。” 顺便要指出，他完全猜对了。公爵从阿格拉娅那里受到讥讽和被赶出门，回家以后已经坐了半小时光景，阴郁而绝望，忽然科利亚带着刺猬来了，顿时雨过天睛，公爵仿佛死里复生一般，详细询问科利亚，斟酌他的每一句话，反来复去问了有十遍，像孩子一般笑着并不时地跟两个孩子握手，他们也笑着，开朗地望着他。看来，阿格拉娅原谅了他，公爵今天晚上又可以到她那里去了，而对他来说这不仅仅是主要的，简直就是一切。 “我们还都是些什么样的孩子呵，科利亚！还有……还有……我们是孩子，这有多好。”他终于陶醉地发着感叹。 “最简单不过，她爱上了您，公爵，没别的！”科利亚以权威的口吻开口说。 公爵一下子飞红了脸，但这次什么活也没有说，而科利亚只是哈哈大笑，拍着手；过了片刻公爵也大笑起来，后来天黑前每５分钟他就看看表，是，是已经过了许多时间，到晚上还有多少时间。 但是情绪占了上风：叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜终于克制不住，歇斯底里发作。她不顾丈夫和女儿们的全力反对，立即派人去叫阿格拉娅，向她提最后一个问题，并从她那里得到最明确的最后答复。“为了一下子了解这一切，一了百了，再也不要提起！”“否则。”她声称，“我活不到晚上！” 到这时大家才明白，事情弄到了多么槽糕的地步。除了佯装惊讶，表示愤忿，哈哈大笑、嘲笑公爵、讥讽所有盘问她的人，从阿格拉娅那里没有问出什么名堂来。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜躺到床上，直到等待公爵来喝茶的时候才出来。她激动得打着哆嗦等待着公爵，当他来到的时候，她差点歇斯底里发作。 而公爵本人进来时也战战兢兢，几乎是蹑手蹑脚地走动，古怪地微笑着，窥视着大家的眼睛，似乎向大家提问，因为阿格拉娅又不在房间，这立即使他害怕起来。这个晚上没有一个局外人，全都是家里人。ω公爵还在彼得堡为叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇伯父的事逗留在那里。“要是他在这里，就会说点什么，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜颇为惋惜他不在场。伊万·费奥多罗维奇显出一副异常忧虑的神色坐着；姐姐们很严肃，仿佛故意沉默不语，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲廓夫娜不知道从何说起。最后，竞然狠狠地把铁路痛骂了一通，以坚决的挑衅姿态望着公爵。 呜夫！阿格拉娅没有出来，公爵毫无指望了。他六神无主，嘟嘟哝哝地说着，刚表示修铁路是很有好处的，阿杰莱达却突然笑了起来，公爵又绝望无话了，就在这当口，阿格拉娅平静和庄重地走了进来，有礼貌地向公爵行了个礼，郑重其事地坐到圆桌旁最显眼的座位上，她疑问地瞥了一眼公爵。大家明白，解开一切困惑的时刻到了。 “您收到我的刺猬了吗？”她坚定而又几乎是生气的问道。 “收到了，”公爵红着脸，屏心静气回答说。 “那就立即解释一下，您对此有何想法？这对妈妈和全家的安宁菲常必要。” “听着，阿格拉娅……”将军忽然不安起来。 “这，这太过分了！”突然叶莉扎塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜不知为什么也害怕起来了。　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 、 “这里没有什么过分的，妈妈，”阿格拉娅马上严厉地回答说，“我今天派人给公爵送去一只刺猬并想知道他的想法。怎么样，公爵？” “您是问有什么想法，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜？” “对刺猬。” “就是说……我认为。阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，您想知道我怎么接受……刺猬的……或者，最好是说，我怎么看待……派人送来的这件东西……刺猬，就是说……在这种情况下，我认为……总之……” 他紧张得喘不上气来，一时语塞而不作声。 “嘿，您没说出多少来，”阿格拉娅等了５分钟后说，“好吧，我同意不谈刺猬；但我很高兴，终于能了结蓄积已久的所有困惑。最后，请允许当面向您本人了解：您是否要向我求婚？” “啊，天哪！”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜失声惊呼。 公爵战栗了一下，急忙闪开，伊万·费奥多罗维奇呆若木鸡；两个姐姐则蹙起了眉头。 “公爵，别撒谎，说真话。因为您的缘故他们对我进行了奇怪的盘问；这种盘问究竟有没有根据？说吧！” “我没有向您求过婚，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，”公爵突然振奋起来，说，“但是……您自己知道，我是多么爱您和信任您……甚至现在……” “我是问您：您是否向我求婚？” “是的，我向您求婚，”公爵屏住呼吸答道。 紧接着是大家的强烈反应。 “亲爱的朋友，这一切不是这么回事，”伊万·费奥多罗维奇十分激动地说，“这……这几乎是不可能的，如果是这样，格拉莎……对不起，公爵，对不起，我亲爱的！……叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜！”他向夫人求援了，“应该……仔细琢磨一下……” “我不管，我不管！”叶莉扎维塔·普罗得菲耶夫娜连连摆手。 “妈妈，请允许我说，要知道在这样的事情上我自己也有关系：这是决定我命运的非常时刻（阿格拉娅正是这样说的），我自己也想知道，此外，我很高兴能当着大家的面……请允许问您，公爵，如果您‘怀有这样的意图’，那么您究竟打算用什么来使我得到幸福呢？” “我不知道，真的，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，怎么回答您；这……这回答什么好呢？再说……有这个必要吗？” “您好像不好意思了，气也喘不过来了；您休息一下，养精蓄锐；喝杯水吧；马上就会给您送来的。” “我爱您，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，我非常爱您；我只爱您一个人……请别开玩笑，我非常爱您。” “但是，这可是件重要的事；我们不是孩子，应该认真看待……现在请费心解释一下，您的财产情况怎么样？” “去－去－去”

Part 4 Chapter 3 As a general rule, old General Ivolgin's paroxysms ended in smoke. He had before this experienced fits of sudden fury, but not very often, because he was really a man of peaceful and kindly disposition. He had tried hundreds of times to overcome the dissolute habits which he had contracted of late years. He would suddenly remember that he was "a father," would be reconciled with his wife, and shed genuine tears. His feeling for Nina Alexandrovna amounted almost to adoration; she had pardoned so much in silence, and loved him still in spite of the state of degradation into which he had fallen. But the general's struggles with his own weakness never lasted very long. He was, in his way, an impetuous man, and a quiet life of repentance in the bosom of his family soon became insupportable to him. In the end he rebelled, and flew into rages which he regretted, perhaps, even as he gave way to them, but which were beyond his control. He picked quarrels with everyone, began to hold forth eloquently, exacted unlimited respect, and at last disappeared from the house, and sometimes did not return for a long time. He had given up interfering in the affairs of his family for two years now, and knew nothing about them but what he gathered from hearsay. But on this occasion there was something more serious than usual. Everyone seemed to know something, but to be afraid to talk about it. The general had turned up in the bosom of his family two or three days before, but not, as usual, with the olive branch of peace in his hand, not in the garb of penitence--in which he was usually clad on such occasions--but, on the contrary, in an uncommonly bad temper. He had arrived in a quarrelsome mood, pitching into everyone he came across, and talking about all sorts and kinds of subjects in the most unexpected manner, so that it was impossible to discover what it was that was really putting him out. At moments he would be apparently quite bright and happy; but as a rule he would sit moody and thoughtful. He would abruptly commence to hold forth about the Epanchins, about Lebedeff, or the prince, and equally abruptly would stop short and refuse to speak another word, answering all further questions with a stupid smile, unconscious that he was smiling, or that he had been asked a question. The whole of the previous night he had spent tossing about and groaning, and poor Nina Alexandrovna had been busy making cold compresses and warm fomentations and so on, without being very clear how to apply them. He had fallen asleep after a while, but not for long, and had awaked in a state of violent hypochondria which had ended in his quarrel with Hippolyte, and the solemn cursing of Ptitsin's establishment generally. It was also observed during those two or three days that he was in a state of morbid self-esteem, and was specially touchy on all points of honour. Colia insisted, in discussing the matter with his mother, that all this was but the outcome of abstinence from drink, or perhaps of pining after Lebedeff, with whom up to this time the general had been upon terms of the greatest friendship; but with whom, for some reason or other, he had quarrelled a few days since, parting from him in great wrath. There had also been a scene with the prince. Colia had asked an explanation of the latter, but had been forced to conclude that he was not told the whole truth. If Hippolyte and Nina Alexandrovna had, as Gania suspected, had some special conversation about the general's actions, it was strange that the malicious youth, whom Gania had called a scandal-monger to his face, had not allowed himself a similar satisfaction with Colia. The fact is that probably Hippolyte was not quite so black as Gania painted him; and it was hardly likely that he had informed Nina Alexandrovna of certain events, of which we know, for the mere pleasure of giving her pain. We must never forget that human motives are generally far more complicated than we are apt to suppose, and that we can very rarely accurately describe the motives of another. It is much better for the writer, as a rule, to content himself with the bare statement of events; and we shall take this line with regard to the catastrophe recorded above, and shall state the remaining events connected with the general's trouble shortly, because we feel that we have already given to this secondary character in our story more attention than we originally intended. The course of events had marched in the following order. When Lebedeff returned, in company with the general, after their expedition to town a few days since, for the purpose of investigation, he brought the prince no information whatever. If the latter had not himself been occupied with other thoughts and impressions at the time, he must have observed that Lebedeff not only was very uncommunicative, but even appeared anxious to avoid him. When the prince did give the matter a little attention, he recalled the fact that during these days he had always found Lebedeff to be in radiantly good spirits, when they happened to meet; and further, that the general and Lebedeff were always together. The two friends did not seem ever to be parted for a moment. Occasionally the prince heard loud talking and laughing upstairs, and once he detected the sound of a jolly soldier's song going on above, and recognized the unmistakable bass of the general's voice. But the sudden outbreak of song did not last; and for an hour afterwards the animated sound of apparently drunken conversation continued to be heard from above. At length there was the clearest evidence of a grand mutual embracing, and someone burst into tears. Shortly after this, however, there was a violent but short-lived quarrel, with loud talking on both sides. All these days Colia had been in a state of great mental preoccupation. Muishkin was usually out all day, and only came home late at night. On his return he was invariably informed that Colia had been looking for him. However, when they did meet, Colia never had anything particular to tell him, excepting that he was highly dissatisfied with the general and his present condition of mind and behaviour. "They drag each other about the place," he said, and get drunk together at the pub close by here, and quarrel in the street on the way home, and embrace one another after it, and don't seem to part for a moment." When the prince pointed out that there was nothing new about that, for that they had always behaved in this manner together, Colia did not know what to say; in fact he could not explain what it was that specially worried him, just now, about his father. On the morning following the bacchanalian songs and quarrels recorded above, as the prince stepped out of the house at about eleven o'clock, the general suddenly appeared before him, much agitated. "I have long sought the honour and opportunity of meeting you-- much-esteemed Lef Nicolaievitch," he murmured, pressing the prince's hand very hard, almost painfully so; "long--very long." The prince begged him to step in and sit down. "No--I will not sit down,--I am keeping you, I see,--another time!--I think I may be permitted to congratulate you upon the realization of your heart's best wishes, is it not so?" "What best wishes?" The prince blushed. He thought, as so many in his position do, that nobody had seen, heard, noticed, or understood anything. "Oh--be easy, sir, be easy! I shall not wound your tenderest feelings. I've been through it all myself, and I know well how unpleasant it is when an outsider sticks his nose in where he is not wanted. I experience this every morning. I came to speak to you about another matter, though, an important matter. A very important matter, prince." The latter requested him to take a seat once more, and sat down himself. "Well--just for one second, then. The fact is, I came for advice. Of course I live now without any very practical objects in life; but, being full of self-respect, in which quality the ordinary Russian is so deficient as a rule, and of activity, I am desirous, in a word, prince, of placing myself and my wife and children in a position of--in fact, I want advice." The prince commended his aspirations with warmth. "Quite so--quite so! But this is all mere nonsense. I came here to speak of something quite different, something very important, prince. And I have determined to come to you as to a man in whose sincerity and nobility of feeling I can trust like--like--are you surprised at my words, prince?" The prince was watching his guest, if not with much surprise, at all events with great attention and curiosity. The old man was very pale; every now and then his lips trembled, and his hands seemed unable to rest quietly, but continually moved from place to place. He had twice already jumped up from his chair and sat down again without being in the least aware of it. He would take up a hook from the table and open it--talking all the while,--look at the heading of a chapter, shut it and put it back again, seizing another immediately, but holding it unopened in his hand, and waving it in the air as he spoke. "But enough!" he cried, suddenly. "I see I have been boring you with my--" "Not in the least--not in the least, I assure you. On the contrary, I am listening most attentively, and am anxious to guess-" "Prince, I wish to place myself in a respectable position--I wish to esteem myself--and to--" "My dear sir, a man of such noble aspirations is worthy of all esteem by virtue of those aspirations alone." The prince brought out his "copy-book sentence" in the firm belief that it would produce a good effect. He felt instinctively that some such well-sounding humbug, brought out at the proper moment, would soothe the old man's feelings, and would be specially acceptable to such a man in such a position. At all hazards, his guest must be despatched with heart relieved and spirit comforted; that was the problem before the prince at this moment. The phrase flattered the general, touched him, and pleased him mightily. He immediately changed his tone, and started off on a long and solemn explanation. But listen as he would, the prince could make neither head nor tail of it. The general spoke hotly and quickly for ten minutes; he spoke as though his words could not keep pace with his crowding thoughts. Tears stood in his eyes, and yet his speech was nothing but a collection of disconnected sentences, without beginning and without end--a string of unexpected words and unexpected sentiments--colliding with one another, and jumping over one another, as they burst from his lips. "Enough!" he concluded at last, "you understand me, and that is the great thing. A heart like yours cannot help understanding the sufferings of another. Prince, you are the ideal of generosity; what are other men beside yourself? But you are young--accept my blessing! My principal object is to beg you to fix an hour for a most important conversation--that is my great hope, prince. My heart needs but a little friendship and sympathy, and yet I cannot always find means to satisfy it." "But why not now? I am ready to listen, and--" "No, no--prince, not now! Now is a dream! And it is too, too important! It is to be the hour of Fate to me--MY OWN hour. Our interview is not to be broken in upon by every chance comer, every impertinent guest--and there are plenty of such stupid, impertinent fellows"--(he bent over and whispered mysteriously, with a funny, frightened look on his face)--"who are unworthy to tie your shoe, prince. I don't say MINE, mind--you will understand me, prince. Only YOU understand me, prince--no one else. HE doesn't understand me, he is absolutely--ABSOLUTELY unable to sympathize. The first qualification for understanding another is Heart." The prince was rather alarmed at all this, and was obliged to end by appointing the same hour of the following day for the interview desired. The general left him much comforted and far less agitated than when he had arrived. At seven in the evening, the prince sent to request Lebedeff to pay him a visit. Lebedeff came at once, and "esteemed it an honour," as he observed, the instant he entered the room. He acted as though there had never been the slightest suspicion of the fact that he had systematically avoided the prince for the last three days. He sat down on the edge of his chair, smiling and making faces, and rubbing his hands, and looking as though he were in delighted expectation of hearing some important communication, which had been long guessed by all. The prince was instantly covered with confusion; for it appeared to be plain that everyone expected something of him--that everyone looked at him as though anxious to congratulate him, and greeted him with hints, and smiles, and knowing looks. Keller, for instance, had run into the house three times of late, "just for a moment," and each time with the air of desiring to offer his congratulations. Colia, too, in spite of his melancholy, had once or twice begun sentences in much the same strain of suggestion or insinuation. The prince, however, immediately began, with some show of annoyance, to question Lebedeff categorically, as to the general's present condition, and his opinion thereon. He described the morning's interview in a few words. "Everyone has his worries, prince, especially in these strange and troublous times of ours," Lebedeff replied, drily, and with the air of a man disappointed of his reasonable expectations. "Dear me, what a philosopher you are!" laughed the prince. Philosophy is necessary, sir--very necessary--in our day. It is too much neglected. As for me, much esteemed prince, I am sensible of having experienced the honour of your confidence in a certain matter up to a certain point, but never beyond that point. I do not for a moment complain--" "Lebedeff, you seem to be angry for some reason!" said the prince. "Not the least bit in the world, esteemed and revered prince! Not the least bit in the world!" cried Lebedeff, solemnly, with his hand upon his heart. "On the contrary, I am too painfully aware that neither by my position in the world, nor by my gifts of intellect and heart, nor by my riches, nor by any former conduct of mine, have I in any way deserved your confidence, which is far above my highest aspirations and hopes. Oh no, prince; I may serve you, but only as your humble slave! I am not angry, oh no! Not angry; pained perhaps, but nothing more. "My dear Lebedeff, I--" "Oh, nothing more, nothing more! I was saying to myself but now... 'I am quite unworthy of friendly relations with him,' say I; 'but perhaps as landlord of this house I may, at some future date, in his good time, receive information as to certain imminent and much to be desired changes--'" So saying Lebedeff fixed the prince with his sharp little eyes, still in hope that he would get his curiosity satisfied. The prince looked back at him in amazement. "I don't understand what you are driving at!" he cried, almost angrily, "and, and--what an intriguer you are, Lebedeff!" he added, bursting into a fit of genuine laughter. Lebedeff followed suit at once, and it was clear from his radiant face that he considered his prospects of satisfaction immensely improved. "And do you know," the prince continued, "I am amazed at your naive ways, Lebedeff! Don't he angry with me--not only yours, everybody else's also! You are waiting to hear something from me at this very moment with such simplicity that I declare I feel quite ashamed of myself for having nothing whatever to tell you. I swear to you solemnly, that there is nothing to tell. There! Can you take that in?" The prince laughed again. Lebedeff assumed an air of dignity. It was true enough that he was sometimes naive to a degree in his curiosity; but he was also an excessively cunning gentleman, and the prince was almost converting him into an enemy by his repeated rebuffs. The prince did not snub Lebedeff's curiosity, however, because he felt any contempt for him; but simply because the subject was too delicate to talk about. Only a few days before he had looked upon his own dreams almost as crimes. But Lebedeff considered the refusal as caused by personal dislike to himself, and was hurt accordingly. Indeed, there was at this moment a piece of news, most interesting to the prince, which Lebedeff knew and even had wished to tell him, but which he now kept obstinately to himself. "And what can I do for you, esteemed prince? Since I am told you sent for me just now," he said, after a few moments' silence. "Oh, it was about the general," began the prince, waking abruptly from the fit of musing which he too had indulged in "and-and about the theft you told me of." "That is--er--about--what theft?" "Oh come! just as if you didn't understand, Lukian Timofeyovitch! What are you up to? I can't make you out! The money, the money, sir! The four hundred roubles that you lost that day. You came and told me about it one morning, and then went off to Petersburg. There, NOW do you understand?" "Oh--h--h! You mean the four hundred roubles!" said Lebedeff, dragging the words out, just as though it had only just dawned upon him what the prince was talking about. "Thanks very much, prince, for your kind interest--you do me too much honour. I found the money, long ago!" "You found it? Thank God for that!" "Your exclamation proves the generous sympathy of your nature, prince; for four hundred roubles--to a struggling family man like myself--is no small matter!" "I didn't mean that; at least, of course, I'm glad for your sake, too," added the prince, correcting himself, " but--how did you find it?" "Very simply indeed! I found it under the chair upon which my coat had hung; so that it is clear the purse simply fell out of the pocket and on to the floor!" "Under the chair? Impossible! Why, you told me yourself that you had searched every corner of the room? How could you not have looked in the most likely place of all?" "Of course I looked there,--of course I did! Very much so! I looked and scrambled about, and felt for it, and wouldn't believe it was not there, and looked again and again. It is always so in such cases. One longs and expects to find a lost article; one sees it is not there, and the place is as hare as one's palm; and yet one returns and looks again and again, fifteen or twenty times, likely enough!" "Oh, quite so, of course. But how was it in your case?--I don't quite understand," said the bewildered prince. "You say it wasn't there at first, and that you searched the place thoroughly, and yet it turned up on that very spot!" "Yes, sir--on that very spot." The prince gazed strangely at Lebedeff. "And the general?" he asked, abruptly. "The--the general? How do you mean, the general?" said Lebedeff, dubiously, as though he had not taken in the drift of the prince's remark. "Oh, good heavens! I mean, what did the general say when the purse turned up under the chair? You and he had searched for it together there, hadn't you?" "Quite so--together! But the second time I thought better to say nothing about finding it. I found it alone." "But--why in the world--and the money? Was it all there?" "I opened the purse and counted it myself; right to a single rouble." "I think you might have come and told me," said the prince, thoughtfully. "Oh--I didn't like to disturb you, prince, in the midst of your private and doubtless most interesting personal reflections. Besides, I wanted to appear, myself, to have found nothing. I took the purse, and opened it, and counted the money, and shut it and put it down again under the chair." "What in the world for?" "Oh, just out of curiosity," said Lebedeff, rubbing his hands and sniggering. "What, it's still there then, is it? Ever since the day before yesterday?" "Oh no! You see, I was half in hopes the general might find it. Because if I found it, why should not he too observe an object lying before his very eyes? I moved the chair several times so as to expose the purse to view, but the general never saw it. He is very absent just now, evidently. He talks and laughs and tells stories, and suddenly flies into a rage with me, goodness knows why." "Well, but--have you taken the purse away now?" "No, it disappeared from under the chair in the night." "Where is it now, then?" "Here," laughed Lebedeff, at last, rising to his full height and looking pleasantly at the prince, "here, in the lining of my coat. Look, you can feel it for yourself, if you like!" Sure enough there was something sticking out of the front of the coat--something large. It certainly felt as though it might well be the purse fallen through a hole in the pocket into the lining. "I took it out and had a look at it; it's all right. I've let it slip back into the lining now, as you see, and so I have been walking about ever since yesterday morning; it knocks against my legs when I walk along." "H'm! and you take no notice of it?" "Quite so, I take no notice of it. Ha, ha! and think of this, prince, my pockets are always strong and whole, and yet, here in one night, is a huge hole. I know the phenomenon is unworthy of your notice; but such is the case. I examined the hole, and I declare it actually looks as though it had been made with a pen- knife, a most improbable contingency." "And--and--the general?" "Ah, very angry all day, sir; all yesterday and all today. He shows decided bacchanalian predilections at one time, and at another is tearful and sensitive, but at any moment he is liable to paroxysms of such rage that I assure you, prince, I am quite alarmed. I am not a military man, you know. Yesterday we were sitting together in the tavern, and the lining of my coat was-- quite accidentally, of course--sticking out right in front. The general squinted at it, and flew into a rage. He never looks me quite in the face now, unless he is very drunk or maudlin; but yesterday he looked at me in such a way that a shiver went all down my back. I intend to find the purse tomorrow; but till then I am going to have another night of it with him." "What's the good of tormenting him like this?" cried the prince. "I don't torment him, prince, I don't indeed!" cried Lebedeff, hotly. "I love him, my dear sir, I esteem him; and believe it or not, I love him all the better for this business, yes--and value him more." Lebedeff said this so seriously that the prince quite lost his temper with him. "Nonsense! love him and torment him so! Why, by the very fact that he put the purse prominently before you, first under the chair and then in your lining, he shows that he does not wish to deceive you, but is anxious to beg your forgiveness in this artless way. Do you hear? He is asking your pardon. He confides in the delicacy of your feelings, and in your friendship for him. And you can allow yourself to humiliate so thoroughly honest a man!" "Thoroughly honest, quite so, prince, thoroughly honest!" said Lebedeff, with flashing eyes. "And only you, prince, could have found so very appropriate an expression. I honour you for it, prince. Very well, that's settled; I shall find the purse now and not tomorrow. Here, I find it and take it out before your eyes! And the money is all right. Take it, prince, and keep it till tomorrow, will you? Tomorrow or next day I'll take it back again. I think, prince, that the night after its disappearance it was buried under a bush in the garden. So I believe--what do you think of that?" "Well, take care you don't tell him to his face that you have found the purse. Simply let him see that it is no longer in the lining of your coat, and form his own conclusions." "Do you think so? Had I not just better tell him I have found it, and pretend I never guessed where it was?" "No, I don't think so," said the prince, thoughtfully; "it's too late for that--that would be dangerous now. No, no! Better say nothing about it. Be nice with him, you know, but don't show him --oh, YOU know well enough--" "I know, prince, of course I know, but I'm afraid I shall not carry it out; for to do so one needs a heart like your own. He is so very irritable just now, and so proud. At one moment he will embrace me, and the next he flies out at me and sneers at me, and then I stick the lining forward on purpose. Well, au revoir, prince, I see I am keeping you, and boring you, too, interfering with your most interesting private reflections." "Now, do be careful! Secrecy, as before!" "Oh, silence isn't the word! Softly, softly!" But in spite of this conclusion to the episode, the prince remained as puzzled as ever, if not more so. He awaited next morning's interview with the general most impatiently. 将军的风波换在任何别的时候是不会有什么名堂而告终的。过去他也有过这一类突如其来的胡闹，虽然相当少，因为总的来说，这是个温顺而几乎是很善良的人，他大概上百次跟近年来沾染的不良行为作斗争。他经常会忽然想起，他是“一家之主”，就与妻子和好，还真诚地哭泣，他尊重尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜到崇拜的地步，因为她这么多次地默默原谅了他，甚至在他处于这么可笑和屈辱的境况下仍然爱他。但是与不良行为作斗争这种慨然之举往往持续不了多久；将军也是个十分“好冲动”的人，虽然有他自己的方式；他通常受不了在自己家里不断忏悔和无所事事的生活，最后就起来造反；他会陷于狂热，也许，就在那种时刻他也自己责备自己，但却无法克制，于是就吵架，开始大言不惭、娓娓动听地说大话；没有分寸也是做不到地要求人家对他恭敬，结果便从家出走，有时甚至很长时间。近两年来他只是一般地了解或者听听家里的事务；他不再详细地干预这些事，已经丝毫不感到自己对此负有使命。 但是这回“将军的胡闹”却表现出某种不同寻常的东西；大家都仿佛知道什么事，大家又似乎害怕说出来。将军“正式”到家里来，也就是到尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜这儿来，仅仅是三天前的事，但是不像过去“回来”时那样通常显得很温顺并表示悔过，这次却相反，他非同寻常地好发怒。他说话很多，心神不宁，跟所有遇见他的人说起话来都很激烈，仿佛一个劲地急急责备他人似的，但谈的尽是五花八门、意想不到的事，你无论如何也弄不清楚，现在使他心神不宁的究竟是什么。有时他说话很快话，但常常若有所思，不过他自己也不知道到底在想什么，突然他开始讲起什么事情来--讲叶潘钦家，讲公爵，讲列别杰夫--又嘎然而止，完全不再说话，对于人家的追问只是报以愚钝的微笑，其实，他甚至没有发觉人家在问他，而他自己在笑。最后一夜他唉声叹气，哼哼哈哈的，把尼娜·亚尼山德罗夫娜折腾得够受，她整夜都给他做热敷；早晨他忽然睡着了、睡了四个小时，醒来时疑心病大发作弄得不可收拾，最后与伊波利特吵嘴以“诅咒这个家”而告终。大家也注意到，这三天中他不断地陷于强烈的自尊心理，结果就是变得异常容易见怪。科利亚劝说着母亲，坚持认为这一切是想酒喝的缘故，也可能是想列别杰夫，因为近些时候来将军与他异常友好，但是三天前他忽然与列别杰夫吵架了，分手时极为愤怒，甚至跟公爵也有什么龃龉。科利亚请求公爵说明情况，可事后他就开始怀疑、有什么事情公爵似乎不想告诉他。如果像加尼亚绝对有把握地认为的那样，在伊彼利特和尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜之间发生过某种特殊的谈话，那么奇怪的是，被加尼亚直截了当称之爱搬弄是非者的这个恶毒的先生并没有用这样的方式来开导科利亚并以此为乐。很可能，这不是如加尼亚跟瓦里娅说话时描写成那样的恶毒的“男核”，而是另一类恶毒；再说他未必会告诉尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜自己的某种观察结果，仅仅是为了“撕碎她的心”。我们不会忘记，人的行为的原因通常比我们事后解释的总要无限之杂、多样得多，并且很少能明确地描述清楚的，有时候讲活者最好还是局限于简单扼要的叙述。下面解释将军现在发生的灾难时我们就将这样做；因为无论我们怎么努力，还是完全有必要把比原先设想的更多的注意和篇幅放到我们故事的这个次要人物身上。 这些事件一件接一件顺序是这样的： 列别杰夫去彼得堡寻找费尔迪先科后，就在那一天与将军一起回来了，他没有告诉公爵什么特别的情况。假如那时公爵不是被别的一些对他来说是重要的想法分了心和占据了头脑的话，那么他很快就会发现，在那以后的两天里列别杰夫不仅没有向他做任何说明，相反，他甚至不知为什么回避跟公爵见面。最后，公爵终于注意到这一情况，他感到非常诧异，在这两天里他偶然遇见列别杰夫时，记得他也总是兴高采烈，心境极好，而且几乎老跟将军在一起。两个朋友已经到了一刻也不分离的地步。公爵有时候听到上面传至他这儿的很快的大声谈话，夹着笑声的快活的争论；有一次很晚了忽如其来出人意料地传到他这儿一阵又是歌颂战斗的又是歌颂酒神的歌声，公爵立图分辨出这是将军的沙哑的男低音。但是响起了歌声没有唱完又突然静默下来了。接着是热烈振奋的，据种种迹象来判断是喝醉了的谈话，延续了大约一小时。可以猜到，楼上寻欢作乐的朋友在拥抱，最后两人哭了起来。后来突然又是激烈的争吵，但也很快就沉寂下来。整个这段时间科利亚的情绪特别忧虑不安。公爵大部分时间不在家，有时回来很晚：总是有人告诉他，科利亚整天都在找他，打听他。但是在见面时科利亚却没说什么特别的话，只是对将军及其目前的举止表示极大的“不满”，说他们“到处闲逛，在不远的一家小酒馆里酗酒，在街上拥抱和骂人，互相挑逗招惹，又无法分手。”当公爵向他指出，过去几乎每天也都是这种样子时，科利亚简直不知道怎么回答和怎么解释，目前他的不安究竟归结为什么原因。 在唱酒神歌和争吵以后的第二天上午，大约１１点左右，公爵正欲走出家门时，将军突然出现在他面前，因什么而异常焦躁不安，几乎是激动非凡。 “深深尊敬的列夫·尼古拉那维奇，我寻找机会荣幸地见到您已经很久了，很久，非常久，”他十分紧地握住公爵的手，几乎使人感到疼痛，一边嘟哝着说，“非常非常久了。” 公爵请他坐下。 “不，不坐了，何况我耽搁您了，我……下次吧，好像，借此机会我可以祝贺您……实现了……心愿。” “什么心愿？” 公爵不好意思了。正像许多处于他这种状况的人那样，他觉得，无论谁都绝对什么也看不到、猜不到、理解不到。 “请放心，请放心！我不令惊扰您那最最柔婉的感情的。我自己也体验过，我自己知道，什么是不知趣，用谚语……好像这么说……外人的……鼻子……伸到人家不要你伸的地方了。每天上午我都体验到这一点。我来有另一件事，一件重要的事。公爵，是一件非常重要的事。” 公爵又一次请他坐下，自己也坐了下来。 “那就坐一会儿……我来请您出主意，当然，我现在过的是没有实际目的的生活；但是我尊重自己，尊重……俄罗斯人那么忽视的求实进取精神，总的来说……，我希望能使自己，我的妻子、我的孩子能有地位……一句话，公爵，我是来讨教的。” 公爵热烈地称赞了他的意图。 “嘿，这一切都是胡说，”将军很快就打断他说，“主要的我不是谈这个，是谈另一件重要的事。我决定正是向您表明心迹，列夫·尼古拉耶维奇，因为您是个真诚待人和有高尚情操的人，我对此深信不疑，还因为……因为……您对我的话不感到惊讶吧，公爵？” 公爵即使不特别惊讶，也异常注意和好奇地注视着这位客人。老头有点脸色发白，他的嘴唇有时微微哆嗦，两只手似乎也找不到安宁的地方可放。他仅仅坐了几分钟，已经不知为什么两次从椅子上站起来，又突然坐下，显然毫不注意自己的仪态。桌上放着书；他一边继续说话，一边拿起一本书，朝翻开的书页里阴了一眼，马上又合拢书，将它放到桌上，又抓起另一本，他已不再打开这一本，其余的时间里一直将它拿在右手中，不停地挥动着它。 “够了！”他突然高喊起来，“我看得出，我大大打扰了您。” “丝毫也不，别那么想，请讲吧，相反我在用心听并想领悟……” “公爵！我希望使自己能有令人尊敬的地位……我希望尊重自己以及……自己的权利、” “一个人有这样的愿望，光凭这点他就已完全值得尊敬了。” 公爵说出这一古板的句子深信会产生很好的作用。他仿佛本能地猜测到，类似刚才所说的空泛但听起来让人舒心的句子能突然征服像将军这样的，特别是处于这种状态中的人的心灵，并使之平静。不论怎样，应该让这样的客人走时心头轻松，这就是他的使命。 这句话使将军快活，有所触动并且也讨得他的喜欢。他突然大为感动，一下子改变了语气，开始热烈地做起长篇解释来。但是公爵无论怎么集中注意，无论多么用心倾听，他还是什么也没有听懂。将军说了１０分钟光景，说得热情洋溢，速度很快，仿佛怕来不及说出拥塞着的万端思绪；未了在他的眼中甚至泪花晶莹，但这毕竟是些没头没尾的句子，一些出人意料的话语，一些出人意料的思想，它们迅速而意外的冒出来，从一个思想突然跳到另一个思想。 “够了！您理解我了，我也就安心了，”他站起身，突然结柬说，“像您这样的心不可能不理解一个正在饱受痛苦的人。公爵，您高尚大度堪称理想！其余人在您面前算得了什么？但您还年轻，我为您祝福。最后我来是请求您为我拟定个时间进行一次重要的谈话，这就是我最主要的希望。我寻求的仅仅是友谊和心灵，公爵；我始终未能应付心灵的要求。” “但是为什么不就现在谈呢？我洗耳恭听……” “不，公爵，不！”将军急切地打断他说，“不是现在！现在谈是种理想！这太重要了，太大重要了！谈话的时刻将是彻底决定命运的时刻。这将是我的时刻、我不希望在这样的神圣的时刻第一个进来的人，头号厚颜无耻之徒来打断我们，而这样的无耻之徒往往会这样，”他忽然俯向公爵，用一种奇怪、神秘、几乎是惊恐的声音低语道，“这样的无耻之徒不值……你脚上的一只鞋跟，心爱的公爵！哦，我不说我脚上！您特别要注意：我没有提及我的脚；因为我太尊重自己了，以便直截了当他说出这一点；但是只有您一个人能理解，在这种情况下我不提自己的鞋跟，也许表现非凡的尊严和自豪。除您之外，别人谁都不会理解，公爵；完完全全不能理解！要理解需有一颗心！” 到最后公爵几乎害怕了，便给将军约走第二天也是这个时间见面。将军离去时情绪振奋，精神上得到了莫大安慰，差不多平静安定了，晚上６点多时公爵派人请别列杰夫到自己这儿来一下。 列别杰夫非常快就来了，他一进来就立即说“感到不胜荣幸”；而三天来他就像躲起来一般，显然是回避与公爵见面，现在仿佛没这回事似的。他坐到椅子边上，又是挤眉弄眼，又是满脸堆笑，小眼睛流露出嘲笑和探究的目光，同时还搓着手，摆出一副极为天真的样子等待听到什么期待已久并已为众人猜到的重大消息。这一切又使公爵感到厌恶；他渐渐明白，大家突然都开始期待着他什么，大家都看着他，似乎想要祝贺他什么，他们暗示着，微笑着，挤眉弄眼着，凯勒尔已经跑来三次，每次都呆一会儿，显然也是想来祝贺的：每次都兴高采烈又含混下清地开始说话，什么也没有讲究，便很快她走开了。（最近这些日子不知在什么地方他纵酒狂欢，这在一间弹子房里名声大振。）甚至连科利亚也不顾自己的忧虑，两次含糊其辞地与公爵谈起什么。 公爵有点气恼地直截了当问列别杰夫，对于将军目前的状态他是怎么想的，为什么将军如此不安？他三言两语向他讲述了刚才的情景。 “任何人都有自己的不安，公爵，……特别是在我们这个奇怪和不安分的世纪；就是这么回事，”列别杰夫有点冷淡地回答说，接着就委屈地下作声了，摆出一副自己的期望大受欺骗的样子。 “这算什么哲学！”公爵冷笑一下说。 “哲学是需要的，在我们这个世纪非常需要，做实际运用，但是它却受到轻视，就是这么回事，从我来说，深深敬爱的公爵，我虽然荣幸地在您所知道的某件事上得到您对我的信任，但是就只到一定程度，绝不超过那件事本身的情况……我理解这一点，丝毫也下抱怨。” “列别杰夫，您仿佛在为什么事生气？” “丝毫没有，一点也没有，我深深敬爱和光辉照人的公爵，一点也没有！”列别杰夫一只手按在心口，激昂地说，“相反，我恰恰马上就明白，无论是在社会上的地位，智力和心灵的发展水平，积累的财富，我过去的行为，还有知识--无论什么我都不配得到您可敬的高于我希望的信任；如果我能力您效劳，那就是当一个奴仆和佣人，而不是别的……我不是生气，只是忧伤。” “鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇，请别这么想！” “绝不是别的！现在就是这样，眼前的境况就是这样！在遇见您并用我的全部心灵和思想注视您的时候，我常对自己说：朋友式的通报情况我是不配的，但是作为房东，也许在适当的时候，在期待的日期之前，这么说吧，我能得到您的指示，或者由于面临的期待着的某些变化而能得到您的通知。” 列别杰夫说这番话时，一双尖利的小眼睛一个劲地盯着惊愕地望着他的公爵；他仍然怀着满足自己好奇心的希望。 “我根本就一点也不明白，”公爵几乎愤怒地喊了起来，“您……是极端可怕的阴谋家。”他突然发生最由衷的哈哈大笑声。 列别杰夫一下子也大笑起来，他那闪烁的目光强烈地表明，他的希望已经表达清楚，甚至加倍说清楚了。 “知道吗，鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇，我要对您说什么？只不过您别对我生气。我对您，而且不只是对您的幼稚感到惊讶！您怀着这样的幼稚期待从我这儿得到什么，而且就是现在，在此刻，这简直令我在您面前感到内疚和羞愧，因为我没有什么可以满足您；但我向您发誓，绝对没有什么，真是这样！” 公爵又笑了起来。 列别杰夫摆出一本正经的样子。的确，他有时甚至过分幼稚，好奇得令人讨厌；但与此同时这又是个相当狡黠和诡谲的人，在有些情况下甚至过分狡诈和沉默寡言。由于经常对他反感和疏远，公爵几乎给自己树了个敌人。但是公爵疏远他并非是蔑视他，而是因为他所好奇的是些颇为微妙的问题。还在几天前公爵把自己的某些理想看成是罪过，而鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇则把公爵的拒绝看做仅仅是对自己的厌恶和不信任，因此常常带着一颗受到伤害的心从公爵身边走开，并且嫉妒科利亚和凯勒尔与公爵的关系，甚至嫉妒自己的女儿维拉·鲁基扬诺夫娜。甚至就在此刻他本来也许能够也愿意真诚地告诉公爵一个对外爵来说是极为有意思的消息，但是他却阴沉地闭口不言，没有说出来。 “说实在的，我能力您效什么劳，深深敬爱的公爵，因为毕竟您现在把我……叫了来，”沉默片刻后他终于说道。 “对了，其实，我想了解一下将军的事，”公爵也沉思了片刻，现在猝然一振，说，“还有……关于您告诉我的这次失窃的事……” “关于什么？” “瞧您，好像现在不憧我的话似的！啊，天哪，鲁基杨·季莫菲伊奇，您老是在演戏！是说钱，钱，您那时丢失的４００卢布，在皮夹里的，早晨动身去彼得堡时您到我这儿来讲的这回事，究竟明白没有？” “啊，您这是讲那４００卢布！”列别杰夫仿佛只是现在才豁然明白，拖长了声调说，“感谢您，公爵，谢谢您的真切关心；这对我来说太荣幸了，但是……我找到了，早已找到了。” “找到了！啊，谢天谢地！” “您发出的感叹是极为高尚的，因为４００卢布对于一个以艰辛的劳动力为生、有一大群孤儿的人来说实在并非是无关紧要的事……” “我说的不是这一点！当然，您找到了，我也为此高兴，”公爵急忙改口说，“但是……您是怎么找到的呢？” “非常简单，是在椅子底下找到的，我曾在那把椅子上放过常礼服，这样，显然是皮夹从口袋里滑出悼到地上。” “怎么会掉到椅子下面去呢？不可能，您不是对我说过，所有的角落都搜寻过了，在这个最主要的地方您怎么遗漏了呢？” “问题就在于我看过了！我记得太清楚了太清楚了，我是看过的！我四肢着地抓着，还搬开了椅子，用双手摸索过这块地方，因为我不相信自己的眼睛：我看见那里什么也没有，空空荡荡，平平光光，就像我的手掌一样，但我仍然摸索着。一个令人伤心地丢失了重要的东西……非常想找到它，尽管看到那灯什么也没有，空空如也，却仍要往那里看上十五次，这种时候往往总是产生类似灰心沮丧的情绪。” “对，就算这样；只是怎么会这样呢？……我始终不可理解，”公爵莫名其妙地喃喃说，“您说，那地方先是什么也没有，而且您在那地方还找过，可一下又突然出现了？” “确实一下子又突然出现了。” 公爵奇怪地望了一眼列别杰夫。 “那么将军呢？”他突然问。 “您说什么，将军？”列别杰夫又糊涂了。 “啊，我的天哪！我是问，您在椅子底下找到皮夹后，将军说什么了？您起先不是跟他一起找的吗？” “起先是一起找的，但这一次，我向您承认，我没有吭声，认为还是不要告诉他皮夹已被我单独找到了。” “为……为什么？钱都在吗？” “我找开皮夹，钱都在，甚至一个卢布也不少。” “至少要来告诉我一声嘛，”公爵若有所思地指出。 “我怕打扰您，公爵，因为您自己的事也许已使您，这么说吧，有异常丰富的感想了；此外，我自己仍装做什么也没找到。皮夹是打开过，看过，后来又合上，又将它放到椅子底下。” “这是为什么？” “就这样，出于进一步的好奇，”列别杰夫搓着手，突然嘻嘻笑着说。 “现在它就这样放在那里，第三天了？” “哦，不，只放了一昼夜。要知道，在某种程度上我想让将军也找找。因为，既然我终于找到了，那又为什么将军不能发现这么引人注目，这么明显地放在椅子下的东西呢？我几次激动这张椅子，将它摆得让这个皮夹完全显露出来，但是将军却丝毫也没有注意到，这样过了整整一昼夜。看来，他现在非常心不在焉，你简直弄下明白；他说啊，讲啊，笑啊，打哈哈，而一下子又对我大发雷霆，我不知道究竟为什么。最后我们走出房间，我故意不锁门就走开了；他却犹豫起来了，想说什么话，想必是这只有这么多钱的皮夹使他担惊了，但突然又大发起脾气来，什么话也没说；我们在街上没走几步路，他就撇下我，朝另一个方向走了。直到晚上才在酒馆里遇上了。” “但是，最终您还是从椅子下拿到了皮夹。” “不，就在那天夜里椅子底下的皮夹不翼而飞了。” “那么现在它在什么地方？” “就在这里，”列别杰夫从椅子上挺直身子站起来，快活地望着公爵，忽然笑着说，“突然它就在这里，在我常礼服的下摆里。瞧，您请亲自来看看，摸摸。” 确实，在常礼服左边下摆，简直就在前面的位置，非常显眼，构成一只口袋似的，摸一下便立即能猜到，这里有一只皮夹子，它是从兜底通了的口袋里掉到那儿去的。 “我掏出来看过，分文不少。我又放进去，昨天起就这样让它留在下摆里带在身上，走起路来甚至还磕碰腿。” “您难道没有发觉？” “我是没有发觉，嘻嘻！您倒想想，深深敬爱的公爵（虽然此事不值得您如此特别的关注），我的口袋一直是完好的，可突然一夜之间一下子有了这么个窟窿！我就好奇地细细察看了，似乎是有人用削笔刀割破的，几乎是不可思议的事！” “那么……将军怎么样？” “他整天都在生气，昨天和今天都这样；心里不称心满意得不得了；一会儿兴奋发狂乃至乐意巴结奉承，一会儿多愁善感乃至声泪俱下，一会儿突然大发脾气乃至我都怕他，真的；公爵，我毕竟不是军人。昨天我们坐在酒馆里，我的衣下摆仿佛无意间非常明显地突出着，像座小山似地鼓鼓的；他斜眼膘着，生着闷气。他现在早就已经不正面看我了，除非醉得很厉害或者大动感情的时候；但是昨天却两次这样看了我一眼，我背上简直起了鸡皮疙瘩。不过，我准备明天把皮夹算正式找出来，而在明天之前还要跟他一起玩一玩。” “您这样折磨他是为了什么？”公爵高声嚷了起来。 “我不是折磨他，公爵，不是折磨，”列别杰夫急切地接着说，“我真诚地爱他和……尊敬他；而现在，随您信不信，他对我来说变得更为可贵，我更看重他了！” 列别杰夫说这一切的时候是那么认真和诚挚，实在让公爵的气忿得很。 “您爱他，又这样折磨他！得了吧，他把您丢失的东西给您放到显眼的地方……椅子底下和常礼服里，他就想用这一着直接向您表示，他不想跟您耍滑头，而是朴直地请求您的原谅。您听见了吧：他在请求原谅！看来，他寄希望于你们之间的温厚感情，相信您对他的友情。可是您却把这么一个……极为诚实的人蒙受这样的屈辱！” “极为诚实的人，公爵，极为诚实的人！”列别杰夫目光炯炯，接过话说，“正是只有您一个人，最高尚的公爵，能说出这么公正的话来：就为这一点我忠于您，甚至崇拜您，虽然我因为各种恶习已经腐朽了！就这样决定了！现在，我马上就把皮夹找出来，下等明天了；瞧，我当您的面把它掏出来；喏，就是它；喏，钱也悉数都在；喏，您拿起来，最高尚的公爵，拿着，保存到明天，明天或后天我会拿的；知道吗，公爵，这丢失的钱第一夜曾藏在我花园里一块小石头下面，您怎么想。” “注意，别这么当面对他说皮夹找到了。就让他无意地看到，衣服下摆里已经什么也没有了，他就会明白的。” “就这样的吗？告诉他我找到了，不是更好吗？还要装做在此以前一直没有猜到在什么地方。” “不，”公爵沉思着说，“不，现在已经晚了，这比较危险；真的，最好别说！面对他您要温和些，但是……也别太敞了……还有……还有……您自己知道。” “我知道，公爵，知道，也就是说，我知道是知道，恐怕做不到；因为这要有像您这样的心。何况我自己也是个易动怒和脾气坏的人，他现在有时候对我十分傲慢；一会嘤嘤啜位和紧紧拥抱，一会又突然开始侮辱人，轻蔑地嘲笑人；嘿，这下我可要故意把下摆显示出来，嘻嘻！再见，公爵，显然我阻碍和打扰了您最有意思的感情，可以这么说……” “但是，看在上帝面上，请保守原先的秘密！” “悄悄地行动，悄悄地行动！” 但是，尽管事情已经了结，公爵仍然心事重重，几乎比过去更加忧虑。他急不可耐地等待着明天与将军的约会。

Part 4 Chapter 2 HIPPOLYTE had now been five days at the Ptitsins'. His flitting from the prince's to these new quarters had been brought about quite naturally and without many words. He did not quarrel with the prince--in fact, they seemed to part as friends. Gania, who had been hostile enough on that eventful evening, had himself come to see him a couple of days later, probably in obedience to some sudden impulse. For some reason or other, Rogojin too had begun to visit the sick boy. The prince thought it might be better for him to move away from his (the prince's) house. Hippolyte informed him, as he took his leave, that Ptitsin "had been kind enough to offer him a corner," and did not say a word about Gania, though Gania had procured his invitation, and himself came to fetch him away. Gania noticed this at the time, and put it to Hippolyte's debit on account. Gania was right when he told his sister that Hippolyte was getting better; that he was better was clear at the first glance. He entered the room now last of all, deliberately, and with a disagreeable smile on his lips. Nina Alexandrovna came in, looking frightened. She had changed much since we last saw her, half a year ago, and had grown thin and pale. Colia looked worried and perplexed. He could not understand the vagaries of the general, and knew nothing of the last achievement of that worthy, which had caused so much commotion in the house. But he could see that his father had of late changed very much, and that he had begun to behave in so extraordinary a fashion both at home and abroad that he was not like the same man. What perplexed and disturbed him as much as anything was that his father had entirely given up drinking during the last few days. Colia knew that he had quarrelled with both Lebedeff and the prince, and had just bought a small bottle of vodka and brought it home for his father. "Really, mother," he had assured Nina Alexandrovna upstairs, "really you had better let him drink. He has not had a drop for three days; he must be suffering agonies--The general now entered the room, threw the door wide open, and stood on the threshold trembling with indignation. "Look here, my dear sir," he began, addressing Ptitsin in a very loud tone of voice; "if you have really made up your mind to sacrifice an old man--your father too or at all events father of your wife--an old man who has served his emperor--to a wretched little atheist like this, all I can say is, sir, my foot shall cease to tread your floors. Make your choice, sir; make your choice quickly, if you please! Me or this--screw! Yes, screw, sir; I said it accidentally, but let the word stand--this screw, for he screws and drills himself into my soul--" "Hadn't you better say corkscrew?" said Hippolyte. "No, sir, NOT corkscrew. I am a general, not a bottle, sir. Make your choice, sir--me or him." Here Colia handed him a chair, and he subsided into it, breathless with rage. "Hadn't you better--better--take a nap?" murmured the stupefied Ptitsin. "A nap?" shrieked the general. "I am not drunk, sir; you insult me! I see," he continued, rising, "I see that all are against me here. Enough--I go; but know, sirs--know that--" He was not allowed to finish his sentence. Somebody pushed him back into his chair, and begged him to be calm. Nina Alexandrovna trembled, and cried quietly. Gania retired to the window in disgust. "But what have I done? What is his grievance?" asked Hippolyte, grinning. "What have you done, indeed?" put in Nina Alexandrovna. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, teasing an old man like that-- and in your position, too." "And pray what IS my position, madame? I have the greatest respect for you, personally; but--" "He's a little screw," cried the general; "he drills holes my heart and soul. He wishes me to be a pervert to atheism. Know, you young greenhorn, that I was covered with honours before ever you were born; and you are nothing better than a wretched little worm, torn in two with coughing, and dying slowly of your own malice and unbelief. What did Gavrila bring you over here for? They're all against me, even to my own son--all against me." "Oh, come--nonsense!" cried Gania; "if you did not go shaming us all over the town, things might be better for all parties." "What--shame you? I?--what do you mean, you young calf? I shame you? I can only do you honour, sir; I cannot shame you." He jumped up from his chair in a fit of uncontrollable rage. Gania was very angry too. "Honour, indeed!" said the latter, with contempt. "What do you say, sir?" growled the general, taking a step towards him. "I say that I have but to open my mouth, and you--" Gania began, but did not finish. The two--father and son--stood before one another, both unspeakably agitated, especially Gania. "Gania, Gania, reflect!" cried his mother, hurriedly. "It's all nonsense on both sides," snapped out Varia. "Let them alone, mother." "It's only for mother's sake that I spare him," said Gania, tragically. "Speak!" said the general, beside himself with rage and excitement; "speak--under the penalty of a father's curse "Oh, father's curse be hanged--you don't frighten me that way!" said Gania. "Whose fault is it that you have been as mad as a March hare all this week? It is just a week--you see, I count the days. Take care now; don't provoke me too much, or I'll tell all. Why did you go to the Epanchins' yesterday--tell me that? And you call yourself an old man, too, with grey hair, and father of a family! H'm--nice sort of a father." "Be quiet, Gania," cried Colia. "Shut up, you fool!" "Yes, but how have I offended him?" repeated Hippolyte, still in the same jeering voice. " Why does he call me a screw? You all heard it. He came to me himself and began telling me about some Captain Eropegoff. I don't wish for your company, general. I always avoided you--you know that. What have I to do with Captain Eropegoff? All I did was to express my opinion that probably Captain Eropegoff never existed at all!" "Of course he never existed!" Gania interrupted. But the general only stood stupefied and gazed around in a dazed way. Gania's speech had impressed him, with its terrible candour. For the first moment or two he could find no words to answer him, and it was only when Hippolyte burst out laughing, and said: "There, you see! Even your own son supports my statement that there never was such a person as Captain Eropegoff!" that the old fellow muttered confusedly: "Kapiton Eropegoff--not Captain Eropegoff!--Kapiton--major retired--Eropegoff--Kapiton." "Kapiton didn't exist either!" persisted Gania, maliciously. "What? Didn't exist?" cried the poor general, and a deep blush suffused his face. "That'll do, Gania!" cried Varia and Ptitsin. "Shut up, Gania!" said Colia. But this intercession seemed to rekindle the general. "What did you mean, sir, that he didn't exist? Explain yourself," he repeated, angrily. "Because he DIDN'T exist--never could and never did--there! You'd better drop the subject, I warn you!" "And this is my son--my own son--whom I--oh, gracious Heaven! Eropegoff--Eroshka Eropegoff didn't exist!" "Ha, ha! it's Eroshka now," laughed Hippolyte. "No, sir, Kapitoshka--not Eroshka. I mean, Kapiton Alexeyevitch-- retired major--married Maria Petrovna Lu--Lu--he was my friend and companion--Lutugoff--from our earliest beginnings. I closed his eyes for him--he was killed. Kapiton Eropegoff never existed! tfu!" The general shouted in his fury; but it was to be concluded that his wrath was not kindled by the expressed doubt as to Kapiton's existence. This was his scapegoat; but his excitement was caused by something quite different. As a rule he would have merely shouted down the doubt as to Kapiton, told a long yarn about his friend, and eventually retired upstairs to his room. But today, in the strange uncertainty of human nature, it seemed to require but so small an offence as this to make his cup to overflow. The old man grew purple in the face, he raised his hands. "Enough of this!" he yelled. "My curse--away, out of the house I go! Colia, bring my bag away!" He left the room hastily and in a paroxysm of rage. His wife, Colia, and Ptitsin ran out after him. "What have you done now?" said Varia to Gania. "He'll probably be making off THERE again! What a disgrace it all is!" "Well, he shouldn't steal," cried Gania, panting with fury. And just at this moment his eye met Hippolyte's. "As for you, sir," he cried, "you should at least remember that you are in a strange house and--receiving hospitality; you should not take the opportunity of tormenting an old man, sir, who is too evidently out of his mind." Hippolyte looked furious, but he restrained himself. "I don't quite agree with you that your father is out of his mind," he observed, quietly. "On the contrary, I cannot help thinking he has been less demented of late. Don't you think so? He has grown so cunning and careful, and weighs his words so deliberately; he spoke to me about that Kapiton fellow with an object, you know! Just fancy--he wanted me to--" "Oh, devil take what he wanted you to do! Don't try to be too cunning with me, young man!" shouted Gania. "If you are aware of the real reason for my father's present condition (and you have kept such an excellent spying watch during these last few days that you are sure to be aware of it)--you had no right whatever to torment the--unfortunate man, and to worry my mother by your exaggerations of the affair; because the whole business is nonsense--simply a drunken freak, and nothing more, quite unproved by any evidence, and I don't believe that much of it!" (he snapped his fingers). "But you must needs spy and watch over us all, because you are a-a--" "Screw!" laughed Hippolyte. "Because you are a humbug, sir; and thought fit to worry people for half an hour, and tried to frighten them into believing that you would shoot yourself with your little empty pistol, pirouetting about and playing at suicide! I gave you hospitality, you have fattened on it, your cough has left you, and you repay all this--" "Excuse me--two words! I am Varvara Ardalionovna's guest, not yours; YOU have extended no hospitality to me. On the contrary, if I am not mistaken, I believe you are yourself indebted to Mr. Ptitsin's hospitality. Four days ago I begged my mother to come down here and find lodgings, because I certainly do feel better here, though I am not fat, nor have I ceased to cough. I am today informed that my room is ready for me; therefore, having thanked your sister and mother for their kindness to me, I intend to leave the house this evening. I beg your pardon--I interrupted you--I think you were about to add something?" "Oh--if that is the state of affairs--" began Gania. "Excuse me--I will take a seat," interrupted Hippolyte once more, sitting down deliberately; "for I am not strong yet. Now then, I am ready to hear you. Especially as this is the last chance we shall have of a talk, and very likely the last meeting we shall ever have at all." Gania felt a little guilty. "I assure you I did not mean to reckon up debits and credits," he began, "and if you--" "I don't understand your condescension," said Hippolyte. "As for me, I promised myself, on the first day of my arrival in this house, that I would have the satisfaction of settling accounts with you in a very thorough manner before I said good-bye to you. I intend to perform this operation now, if you like; after you, though, of course." "May I ask you to be so good as to leave this room?" "You'd better speak out. You'll be sorry afterwards if you don't." "Hippolyte, stop, please! It's so dreadfully undignified," said Varia. "Well, only for the sake of a lady," said Hippolyte, laughing. "I am ready to put off the reckoning, but only put it off, Varvara Ardalionovna, because an explanation between your brother and myself has become an absolute necessity, and I could not think of leaving the house without clearing up all misunderstandings first." "In a word, you are a wretched little scandal-monger," cried Gania, "and you cannot go away without a scandal!" "You see," said Hippolyte, coolly, " you can't restrain yourself. You'll be dreadfully sorry afterwards if you don't speak out now. Come, you shall have the first say. I'll wait." Gania was silent and merely looked contemptuously at him. "You won't? Very well. I shall be as short as possible, for my part. Two or three times to-day I have had the word 'hospitality' pushed down my throat; this is not fair. In inviting me here you yourself entrapped me for your own use; you thought I wished to revenge myself upon the prince. You heard that Aglaya Ivanovna had been kind to me and read my confession. Making sure that I should give myself up to your interests, you hoped that you might get some assistance out of me. I will not go into details. I don't ask either admission or confirmation of this from yourself; I am quite content to leave you to your conscience, and to feel that we understand one another capitally." "What a history you are weaving out of the most ordinary circumstances!" cried Varia. "I told you the fellow was nothing but a scandalmonger," said Gania. "Excuse me, Varia Ardalionovna, I will proceed. I can, of course, neither love nor respect the prince, though he is a good-hearted fellow, if a little queer. But there is no need whatever for me to hate him. I quite understood your brother when he first offered me aid against the prince, though I did not show it; I knew well that your brother was making a ridiculous mistake in me. I am ready to spare him, however, even now; but solely out of respect for yourself, Varvara Ardalionovna. "Having now shown you that I am not quite such a fool as I look, and that I have to be fished for with a rod and line for a good long while before I am caught, I will proceed to explain why I specially wished to make your brother look a fool. That my motive power is hate, I do not attempt to conceal. I have felt that before dying (and I am dying, however much fatter I may appear to you), I must absolutely make a fool of, at least, one of that class of men which has dogged me all my life, which I hate so cordially, and which is so prominently represented by your much esteemed brother. I should not enjoy paradise nearly so much without having done this first. I hate you, Gavrila Ardalionovitch, solely (this may seem curious to you, but I repeat)--solely because you are the type, and incarnation, and head, and crown of the most impudent, the most self-satisfied, the most vulgar and detestable form of commonplaceness. You are ordinary of the ordinary; you have no chance of ever fathering the pettiest idea of your own. And yet you are as jealous and conceited as you can possibly be; you consider yourself a great genius; of this you are persuaded, although there are dark moments of doubt and rage, when even this fact seems uncertain. There are spots of darkness on your horizon, though they will disappear when you become completely stupid. But a long and chequered path lies before you, and of this I am glad. In the first place you will never gain a certain person." "Come, come! This is intolerable! You had better stop, you little mischief-making wretch!" cried Varia. Gania had grown very pale; he trembled, but said nothing. Hippolyte paused, and looked at him intently and with great gratification. He then turned his gaze upon Varia, bowed, and went out, without adding another word. Gania might justly complain of the hardness with which fate treated him. Varia dared not speak to him for a long while, as he strode past her, backwards and forwards. At last he went and stood at the window, looking out, with his back turned towards her. There was a fearful row going on upstairs again. "Are you off?" said Gania, suddenly, remarking that she had risen and was about to leave the room. "Wait a moment--look at this." He approached the table and laid a small sheet of paper before her. It looked like a little note. "Good heavens!" cried Varia, raising her hands. This was the note: "GAVRILA ARDOLIONOVITCH,--persuaded of your kindness of heart, I have determined to ask your advice on a matter of great importance to myself. I should like to meet you tomorrow morning at seven o'clock by the green bench in the park. It is not far from our house. Varvara Ardalionovna, who must accompany you, knows the place well. "A. E." "What on earth is one to make of a girl like that?" said Varia. Gania, little as he felt inclined for swagger at this moment, could not avoid showing his triumph, especially just after such humiliating remarks as those of Hippolyte. A smile of self- satisfaction beamed on his face, and Varia too was brimming over with delight. "And this is the very day that they were to announce the engagement! What will she do next?" "What do you suppose she wants to talk about tomorrow?" asked Gania. "Oh, THAT'S all the same! The chief thing is that she wants to see you after six months' absence. Look here, Gania, this is a SERIOUS business. Don't swagger again and lose the game--play carefully, but don't funk, do you understand? As if she could possibly avoid seeing what I have been working for all this last six months! And just imagine, I was there this morning and not a word of this! I was there, you know, on the sly. The old lady did not know, or she would have kicked me out. I ran some risk for you, you see. I did so want to find out, at all hazards." Here there was a frantic noise upstairs once more; several people seemed to be rushing downstairs at once. "Now, Gania," cried Varia, frightened, "we can't let him go out! We can't afford to have a breath of scandal about the town at this moment. Run after him and beg his pardon--quick." But the father of the family was out in the road already. Colia was carrying his bag for him; Nina Alexandrovna stood and cried on the doorstep; she wanted to run after the general, but Ptitsin kept her back. "You will only excite him more," he said. "He has nowhere else to go to--he'll be back here in half an hour. I've talked it all over with Colia; let him play the fool a bit, it will do him good." "What are you up to? Where are you off to? You've nowhere to go to, you know," cried Gania, out of the window. "Come back, father; the neighbours will hear!" cried Varia. The general stopped, turned round, raised his hands and remarked: "My curse be upon this house!" "Which observation should always be made in as theatrical a tone as possible," muttered Gania, shutting the window with a bang. The neighbours undoubtedly did hear. Varia rushed out of the room. No sooner had his sister left him alone, than Gania took the note out of his pocket, kissed it, and pirouetted around. 伊波利特搬到普季岑家已经五天了。在他和公爵之间这发生得很自然，没有多费口舌，也没有任何口角；他们不仅没有吵架，表面上看甚至似乎是像朋友一样分手的。加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇在那天晚上非常敌视伊波利特，却自己过来看他，不过是在发生那件事后第三天，大概是为某个突如其来的念头所驱。不知为什么罗戈任也开始常来看病人。最初公爵觉得，如果伊波利特从他那儿搬走，甚至对这“可怜的男该”更好。但是在搬走的时候伊波利特已经表示，他是搬到普季岑那儿住，“普季岑是那么好心，给他提供了一个角落”，仿佛故意似地，一次也没有说是搬到加尼亚那儿去，虽然正是加尼亚坚持要接纳他到家里来的。加尼亚当时就已发现了这点，颇为见怪地将此记在心里。 他对妹妹说病人已经有所恢复，这话不假，确实，伊波利特比过去是好了些，朝他望上一眼就明显可以觉察到这点。他走进房间来时不慌不忙，跟在大家后面，带着不怀好意的嘲笑。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜进来时很惊慌。（这半年里她大大变样了，变消瘦了；嫁了女儿并搬到她这儿来住以后，她表面上几乎不再干预自己孩子的事。）科利亚显得忧心忡忡，并且有点莫名其妙；用他的话来说，对“将军的发狂”有许多难以理解的地方，当然，这是因为他不知道家里这场新的闹剧的根本起因。但他很明白，父亲这次吵得很厉害，每时每刻到处都吵，而且一下子变得仿佛根本不是过去的人。还使他不安的是，近三天来老头甚至完全不再喝酒了。他知道，父亲已经跟列别杰夫和公爵分手了，甚至还跟他们吵翻了。科利亚带着用自己的钱买的半俄升伏特加酒刚回到家里。 ＊果戈理〈死魂灵》中的一个地主。 “说真的，妈妈，”还在楼上时他就劝尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜，“真的，最好还是让他喝。现在已经三天滴酒未沾了；因而就会苦恼。说真的，最好还是让他喝；他去债务监狱时我还经常送酒给他……” 将军把门开直，站在门口，似乎是愤怒得浑身打颤。 “阁下！”他用雷鸣般的声音对普季岑喊道，“如果您真的决心为一个乳臭小儿和无神论者牺牲可敬的老头，您的父亲，也就是说，至少是您妻子的父亲，一个效忠自己国君的人，那么从此刻起我的脚再也不会踏进您的家门。您选择吧，先生，立即选择吧：要么是我……要么是这个……螺丝钉！对，是螺丝钉！我无意间说出了口，但这是螺丝钉！因为他像只螺丝钉一样钻进我的心扉，没有丝毫的尊敬……像螺丝钉一样！” “不是螺旋拔塞？”伊波利特插嘴说。 “下，不是螺旋拔塞，因为在你面前我是将军，不是瓶子。我有奖章，军功章……而你一无所有。或者选择我，或者是他！决定吧，先生，现在就决定，马上！”他又发狂地冲着普季岑喊道，这时科利亚给他搬来椅子，他几乎是疲惫不堪地倒到椅子上。 “真的，您最好……去睡觉，”大为惊愕的普季岑喃喃着说。 “他还要威胁人！”加尼亚低声对妹妹说。 “去睡觉。”将军嚷道，“我没醉，阁下，您是在侮辱我。我看得出，”他又站起来，继续说，“我看出来，这里的一切都反对我，一切和所有的人都和我过不去，够了！我走……但要知道，阁下，要知道……” 大家没让他讲下去并又让他坐好，劝他平静下来。加尼亚怒不可遏，走到角落里。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜颤栗、哭泣着。 “我对他做了什么了？他抱怨什么？”伊波利特呲牙咧嘴地喊着。 “难道您没做什么。”突然尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜指出，“折磨一个老人，您应特别感到羞耻和……没有人性……何况还处在您这种地位。” “首先，我是什么地位，夫人！我很尊敬您，正是尊敬您个人，但是－－” “这是只螺丝钉！”将军喊道，“他在钻我的灵魂，钻我的心！他想要我信无神论！知道吗，黄口小儿，你还没有出世，我已经满载着荣誉了，而你只不过是条好嫉妒的蛆虫，被撕成了两半，还咳嗽……怀恨和不信神，搞得你都快要死了……加夫里拉为什么要把你搬到这儿来？大家都对付我，从外人到亲生儿子！” “够了，还演起悲剧来了！”加尼亚喊着，“别满城丢我们的脸了，这样还好一点！” “什么，我丢你脸了，你这个乳臭未干的小子！丢你脸了？我只会给你增添荣誉，而下是使你名誉扫地！” 他蹦了起来，大家已经无法遏止他；而且加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇看来也爆发了。 “还讲荣誉这一套！”他愤愤地喊着。 “你说什么？”将军吼了起来，他脸色苍白，朝加尼亚跨近一步。 “我只要一叫出口，就……”加尼亚忽然号叫起来又不说下去了。两个人面对面站着，都冲动得失去了分寸，特别是加尼亚。 “加尼亚，你要干什么。”尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜喊道，一边奔过来制止儿子。 “哪方面都是荒唐透顶！”瓦里娅忿忿地断然说，“够了，妈妈，”她抓往母亲。 “只是为了妈妈，我就饶了你。”加尼亚悲伤地说。 “你说！”将军完全发狂似地吼着，“你说呀，别怕父亲的诅咒……你说呀！” “瞧着吧，我才不怕您的诅咒呢！您八天来像个疯子似的，是谁的错？今天是第八天，您看见了，我是计天数的……您注意，别把我惹急了，否则我全讲出来……昨天您干嘛到叶潘钦家里去、自称是老人呢，头发也自了，又是一家之父！可真是好样的！” “住嘴，加尼卡！”科利亚喊了起来，“往嘴，笨蛋！” “可我又什么地方，我又什么地方伤害他了。”伊波利特坚持说，但仿佛依然用那种嘲笑的口气，“他为什么称我是螺丝钉”，你们听到了吧？他自己来着我；刚才还跟我讲起那个叶罗彼戈夫大尉。我根本不愿意与您为伴，将军，过去我就回避您，您自己也知道。叶罗彼戈夫大尉关我什么事，您自己也同意这点吧？我不是为叶罗波戈夫大尉搬到这儿来的。我仅仅是向他表示了我的意见，我说，也许这位叶罗波戈夫大尉根本就从未存在过。他就搞得个鸡犬不宁。” “毫无疑问，是不存在的！”加尼亚断然说。 但是将军惊愕得呆呆地站着，只是茫然地环顾着周围，儿子的话以其非同寻常的坦率使他震惊。在最初一霎那他甚至找不到话说。最后，尹波利持对加尼亚的话报以放声大笑并嚷道：“瞧，您听见了吧，您自己的儿子也说，没有任何叶罗彼戈夫大尉，”老头完全不知所措，直到这时才喃喃说： “是卡皮东·叶罗彼戈夫，而不是卡皮丹……是卡皮东……他是退役中校，叫叶罗彼戈夫……卡皮东。” “即使是卡皮东也是不存在的！”加尼亚完全怒不可遏了。 “为……为什么不存在？”将军嗫懦着说，红晕一一下子布满了脸面。 “好了，够了！”普季岑和瓦里娅制止道。 “住嘴，加尼卡！”科利亚又喊了一声。 但是这种庇护似乎使将军醒悟过来。 “怎么不存在？为什么不存在？”他威势逼人地责问儿子。 “就因为不存在，不存在就是不存在，而且根本就不可能存在：这就是对您的回答。对您说，别来纠缠我。” “这就是我的儿子……这就是我的亲儿子，我把他……哦，天哪！他竟硬说叶罗波戈夫不存在，没有叶罗什卡·叶罗波戈夫！” “瞧，一会儿卡皮托什卡，一会儿卡皮托什卡！”伊波利持插嘴说。 “是卡皮托什卡，先生，是卡皮托什卡，不是叶罗什卡！卡皮丹·阿列克谢那维奇，不对，是卡皮东……退役……中校……娶玛里娅为妻……玛里娅·波得罗夫娜·苏……苏……苏图戈娃……他是我朋友和同伴，还是从当士官生起就是了。我为他流过……找用身体挡……他被打死了。卡庆托什卡·叶罗波戈夫不存在了！不存在了！” 将军狂热地喊着，但是可以使人认为，事情是一回事，喊的又是另一回事。确实，换了别的时候他会忍受比说卡皮车·叶罗彼戈夫根本不存在更令人生气的事，会叫嚷一通、闹上一阵子，发一顿脾气，但最后还是会回到楼上自己房间去睡觉。可现在，由于人心的诡橘莫测，结果却是，正是怀疑叶罗彼戈夫存在这样的委屈会便他无法忍受。老头的脸涨得发紫，举起手，喊着： ＊俄语大尉一词的发音与卡皮东相近。 “够了！我要诅咒……要离开这所房子！尼古拉，把我的旅行包拿来，我……走” 他异常愤怒地急急走了出去。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜，科利亚和普季岑奔上去追他。 “咳，瞧你现在惹出什么事来了！”瓦里娅对兄长说，“他大概又会到那里去了。真丢脸，真丢脸！” “可他不该偷东西！”加尼亚气得几乎憋不过气来，喊道，他的目光突然与伊彼利特相遇了，加尼亚差点颤抖起来。“而您，阁下，”他高声嚷道，“应该记住，您毕竟是在人家家里……受用人家的殷勤款待，那就别去惹那个显然发了疯的老头生气……” 伊波利特似乎也痉挛了一下，但刹那间就克制了自己。 “我不完全同意您说的您爸爸发疯了，”他平静地回答，“我觉得，相反，最近一段时间他的神智还很清楚、真的，您不相信吗？他变得小心谨慎，疑神疑鬼，老是探听什么，每句话都斟酌一番……他跟我谈起这个卡皮托什卡可是有目的的，请想想，他想把我引到……” “哎，他想把您引到什么上面去关我鬼事！我请您别耍滑头，别跟我转变抹角了，先生！”加尼亚大声嚷着，“如果您也知道为什么老头处于这种状态的真正原因（而您这五天中一直在我这儿当密探，我才是知道这一点的），那您就完全下应该招惹……这个不幸的人，不该夸大事态来祈磨我母亲，因为这一切是胡说八道，纯粹是酒后胡闹，如此而已，甚至没有什么证据，我就不把它一回事……但您却要伤害人家，当密探，因为您……您……” “是螺丝钉，”伊波利特苦笑了一下。 “因为您是个孬种，您把人们折磨了半小时，您用未装子弹的手熗来自杀，想以此吓唬人们，与此同时您还这么恬不知耻地胡说一气，真是个被人瞧不起的自杀者，肝火旺盛的……两脚动物。我给了您殷切的接待，您长胖了，不再咳嗽了，而您偿付的却是……” “请允许只讲两句话；我是住瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜这里，不是住您这里；您没有给我任何款待，我甚至在想，您自己也在受用普季岑先生的款待。待四天前我请求我母亲在帕夫洛夫斯克为我找一处住所并要她也搬去，因为我真的感到在这里身体要好些，虽然我根本没有长胖，也仍然在咳嗽。昨天晚上母亲通知我说，住处已找好，所以我急了要让您知道，在向您妈妈和妹妹表示感谢之后，今天我就搬到自己那儿去，这是昨晚就已决走了的。对不起，我老是打断您；您好像还有许多话要说。” “哦，如果是这样……”加尼亚打起颤来。 “如果是这样，那就允许我坐下，”伊波利特一边非常平静地坐到将军坐过的椅子上，一边补充说，“我毕竟是个病人；好了，现在我洗耳恭听，何况这是我们最后一次谈话，甚至可能是最后一次见面。” 加尼亚忽然觉得内心有疚了。 “请相信，我还不至于卑贱到跟您计较，”他说，“如果您……” “您如此傲慢是枉然的，”伊波利特打断说，“从我来说，还在搬到这儿来第一天的时候，我就许下诺言不放弃机会，等我告别的时候，我要对你们痛痛快快，开诚布公地把一切说个清楚。正是现在我打算来做这件事，当然，在您讲话之后。” “我请您离开这个房间。” “最好还是说出来，不然您会后悔没有说的。” “别再说了，伊波利特，这一切太丢人了；求求您，别再说了！”瓦里娅说。 “只是看在女人份上，”伊波利待笑着站起来说，“好吧，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜，看在您的面上我准备压缩我的话，但仅仅是压缩，因为在我和您兄长之间某些事情是非说不可的，再说，不明不白的，我是怎么也不会离开的。” “您不过是个好搬弄是非的人，”加尼亚嚷道，“因此您不造谣生事是不会离开的。” “您瞧，”伊波利持冷漠地指出，“您已经耐不注了，说真的，您不说出来是会后悔的。我再次让您先说话，我等等再说。” 加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇沉默着，蔑视地望着他。 “您不想讲，打算坚持到底，随您的便。我这方面尽可能说得简短。今天我有两三次听到指责我受到了接待；这是不公正的。您邀请我上自己家来，是您自己要网住我。您估计，我想对公爵报复，而且您听说了阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜对我表示同情并且读了我的《自白》，不知为什么您以为我会完全服从您的利益，您指望着，也许能在我身上找到帮助。我现在不做更详尽的解释！我也不要求您承认或症实；我把您留给您的良心，我们现在彼此了解得非常彻底，这就够了。” “但是，天晓得，您这是把最平常的事拿来大做文章！”瓦里娅嚷了起来。 “我对你说过，这是个‘搬弄是非的黄口小儿’，”加尼亚低声说。 “瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜，请允许我说下去。当然，对公爵我是既不会爱也不会尊敬的；但这是个极为善良的人，虽然也……很可笑。然而我绝没有什么缘由要恨他；当您兄长亲自怂恿我反对公爵时，我对他未露声色；我就是指望着在结局时大笑一场。我知道，您哥哥一定会对我透露个中奥秘，也一定会大大失算。果然就是这样……我现在准备原谅他，仅仅是出于对您瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜的尊敬。但是，对您解释清楚我不是这么容易上钩之后，我要对您说明的是，为什么我这么想把您的兄长置于受愚弄的境地。您要知道，我这样做是出于憎恨，我但白地承认这一点，当我死的时候（因为我终究是要死的，尽管长胖了点，这是你们说的），当我临死时，如果我能作弄无数种人的哪怕一个代表，我也就会感到，我将能无限安详地去天堂，因为这种人折磨了我一辈子，我也痛恨了一辈子，而您这位可敬的兄长正是这种人的突出形象。我憎恨您加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，唯一的原因（也许，这会使您感到惊奇），唯一的原因是您是最无耻，最自负、最鄙俗、最卑劣的庸人的典型和体现、化身和顶峰，您是个傲慢的庸人，自信的庸人，沉着的庸人，镇定的庸人；您是守旧者中的守旧者！无论是在您的头脑中还是在您的心灵中都注定永远不会形成一点点自己的思想。但是您又有无穷的嫉妒心；您坚信，您是最伟大的天才，但是有时候在优郁的时刻您终究还会产生怀疑，于是您就妒嫉，就忡恨。哦，在您的前程中还有些黑点；等您彻底变蠢时，它们就会消失，这一天并不遥远；但是您毕竟面临着一条漫长而复杂的道路，我不说是快活的道路，我为此而高兴。首先，我现在预告您，您是得不到那位小姐的……” “嘿，这简直不能容忍！”瓦里娅大声嚷了起来。“您有完没完，令人讨厌的恶鬼？” 加尼亚脸色变得刷肉，颇抖着，不吭一声。伊波利特停住了话，怀着一种极大的满足专注地看了他一会，又把目光移到瓦里娅身上，然后冷笑了一声，躬了躬身，走了出去，再没句添一句话。 加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇有理由抱怨自己的命运和不走运，当他迈着大步从瓦里娅身边走过时，有一会她都下不了决心跟他说话，甚至不看他一眼。最后，他已走到窗口，背朝着她，瓦里娅想到了一条俄罗斯谚语：祸福难测。上面又响起了吵闹声。 “你要去？”加尼亚听见瓦里娅从座位上站起来，突然转过身问，“等一下；先看看这个。” 他走近来，把折成小便条样子的一张小纸丢到她面前的椅子上。 “天哪！”瓦里娅双手一拍，惊呼起来。 字条上的字只有几行。 “加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇！我深信您对我怀有良好的感情，我有一件重要的事，我决定征询您对此事的忠告。我希望明天能见到您，早晨７点钟，在绿色长倚那里，它离我们别墅不远。瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜一定会陪您来，她对这个地方很熟悉。阿·叶” “真怪，这以后真得对她刮目相看！”瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜双手一摊说。 此刻无论加尼亚多想故作姿态，但他还是不能不流露出得意之情，何况还是在伊波利特说了这么贬低人的预言之后。他脸上顿然漾起了自我满足的微笑而显得神弈弈，而瓦里娅自己也高兴得容光焕发。 “而且这正是他们宣布订婚的这一天！真怪，这以后真得对她刮目相看！” “你怎么想，她明天打算谈什么？”加尼亚问。 “这无关紧要，主要的是，六个月以来第一次表示愿意见你。加尼亚，你听我说：无论那里发生了什么，无论事态有多大转变，要知道，这约会是重要的！这太重要了！别又故作姿态，别再大意疏忽，但也别胆怯畏缩，留点神！为什么这半年我老往她们那儿跑，她会不清楚？你倒想想：今天一句活也不对我说，不动声色。我可是偷偷到她们那儿去的，老太婆不知道我在，否则，也许会赶我走的。我是为你冒险，无论如何要打听到……” 从上面又传来了喊声和吵闹声。有几个人在下楼。 “现在无论如何不能让这事捅出去！”瓦里娅吓得慌慌张张地嚷着，“不能有一点丑事的阴影！去吧，去求个原谅吧！” 但一家之父已经在街上了。科利亚拿着旅行包跟在后面。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜站在台阶上，哭泣着；她想跑去追他，但普季岑制止了她。 “这样您只会更加使他火上加油，”他对她说，“他没地方可去，过半个小时又会把他送回来的，我已经跟科利亚说过；让他去使一阵性子。” “您胡闹什么呀，到哪里去呀！”加里亚从窗口喊了起来，“您没地方可去！” “回来，爸爸！”瓦里娅喊道，“邻居们都听见了。” 将军停了下来，转过了身，伸出一只手，大声喊道： “我诅咒这个家！” “他就一定要装腔作势！”加尼亚砰的一声关上窗户，嘟哝着说。 邻居们真的听到了。瓦里娅跑出了房间。 等瓦里娅出去以后，加尼亚从桌上拿起便条，吻了一下，用舌头弹了个响声，还做了个跳起来两脚相拍的动作。

Part 4 Chapter 1 A WEEK had elapsed since the rendezvous of our two friends on the green bench in the park, when, one fine morning at about half- past ten o'clock, Varvara Ardalionovna, otherwise Mrs. Ptitsin, who had been out to visit a friend, returned home in a state of considerable mental depression. There are certain people of whom it is difficult to say anything which will at once throw them into relief--in other words, describe them graphically in their typical characteristics. These are they who are generally known as "commonplace people," and this class comprises, of course, the immense majority of mankind. Authors, as a rule, attempt to select and portray types rarely met with in their entirety, but these types are nevertheless more real than real life itself. "Podkoleosin" [A character in Gogol's comedy, The Wedding.] was perhaps an exaggeration, but he was by no means a non-existent character; on the contrary, how many intelligent people, after hearing of this Podkoleosin from Gogol, immediately began to find that scores of their friends were exactly like him! They knew, perhaps, before Gogol told them, that their friends were like Podkoleosin, but they did not know what name to give them. In real life, young fellows seldom jump out of the window just before their weddings, because such a feat, not to speak of its other aspects, must be a decidedly unpleasant mode of escape; and yet there are plenty of bridegrooms, intelligent fellows too, who would be ready to confess themselves Podkoleosins in the depths of their consciousness, just before marriage. Nor does every husband feel bound to repeat at every step, "Tu l'as voulu, Georges Dandin!" like another typical personage; and yet how many millions and billions of Georges Dandins there are in real life who feel inclined to utter this soul-drawn cry after their honeymoon, if not the day after the wedding! Therefore, without entering into any more serious examination of the question, I will content myself with remarking that in real life typical characters are "watered down," so to speak; and all these Dandins and Podkoleosins actually exist among us every day, but in a diluted form. I will just add, however, that Georges Dandin might have existed exactly as Moliere presented him, and probably does exist now and then, though rarely; and so I will end this scientific examination, which is beginning to look like a newspaper criticism. But for all this, the question remains,-- what are the novelists to do with commonplace people, and how are they to be presented to the reader in such a form as to be in the least degree interesting? They cannot be left out altogether, for commonplace people meet one at every turn of life, and to leave them out would be to destroy the whole reality and probability of the story. To fill a novel with typical characters only, or with merely strange and uncommon people, would render the book unreal and improbable, and would very likely destroy the interest. In my opinion, the duty of the novelist is to seek out points of interest and instruction even in the characters of commonplace people. For instance, when the whole essence of an ordinary person's nature lies in his perpetual and unchangeable commonplaceness; and when in spite of all his endeavours to do something out of the common, this person ends, eventually, by remaining in his unbroken line of routine--. I think such an individual really does become a type of his own--a type of commonplaceness which will not for the world, if it can help it, be contented, but strains and yearns to be something original and independent, without the slightest possibility of being so. To this class of commonplace people belong several characters in this novel;-- characters which--I admit--I have not drawn very vividly up to now for my reader's benefit. Such were, for instance, Varvara Ardalionovna Ptitsin, her husband, and her brother, Gania. There is nothing so annoying as to be fairly rich, of a fairly good family, pleasing presence, average education, to be "not stupid," kind-hearted, and yet to have no talent at all, no originality, not a single idea of one's own--to be, in fact, "just like everyone else." Of such people there are countless numbers in this world--far more even than appear. They can be divided into two classes as all men can--that is, those of limited intellect, and those who are much cleverer. The former of these classes is the happier. To a commonplace man of limited intellect, for instance, nothing is simpler than to imagine himself an original character, and to revel in that belief without the slightest misgiving. Many of our young women have thought fit to cut their hair short, put on blue spectacles, and call themselves Nihilists. By doing this they have been able to persuade themselves, without further trouble, that they have acquired new convictions of their own. Some men have but felt some little qualm of kindness towards their fellow-men, and the fact has been quite enough to persuade them that they stand alone in the van of enlightenment and that no one has such humanitarian feelings as they. Others have but to read an idea of somebody else's, and they can immediately assimilate it and believe that it was a child of their own brain. The "impudence of ignorance," if I may use the expression, is developed to a wonderful extent in such cases;--unlikely as it appears, it is met with at every turn. This confidence of a stupid man in his own talents has been wonderfully depicted by Gogol in the amazing character of Pirogoff. Pirogoff has not the slightest doubt of his own genius,--nay, of his SUPERIORITY of genius,--so certain is he of it that he never questions it. How many Pirogoffs have there not been among our writers--scholars--propagandists? I say "have been," but indeed there are plenty of them at this very day. Our friend, Gania, belonged to the other class--to the "much cleverer" persons, though he was from head to foot permeated and saturated with the longing to be original. This class, as I have said above, is far less happy. For the "clever commonplace" person, though he may possibly imagine himself a man of genius and originality, none the less has within his heart the deathless worm of suspicion and doubt; and this doubt sometimes brings a clever man to despair. (As a rule, however, nothing tragic happens;--his liver becomes a little damaged in the course of time, nothing more serious. Such men do not give up their aspirations after originality without a severe struggle,--and there have been men who, though good fellows in themselves, and even benefactors to humanity, have sunk to the level of base criminals for the sake of originality. Gania was a beginner, as it were, upon this road. A deep and unchangeable consciousness of his own lack of talent, combined with a vast longing to be able to persuade himself that he was original, had rankled in his heart, even from childhood. He seemed to have been born with overwrought nerves, and in his passionate desire to excel, he was often led to the brink of some rash step; and yet, having resolved upon such a step, when the moment arrived, he invariably proved too sensible to take it. He was ready, in the same way, to do a base action in order to obtain his wished-for object; and yet, when the moment came to do it, he found that he was too honest for any great baseness. (Not that he objected to acts of petty meanness--he was always ready for THEM.) He looked with hate and loathing on the poverty and downfall of his family, and treated his mother with haughty contempt, although he knew that his whole future depended on her character and reputation. Aglaya had simply frightened him; yet he did not give up all thoughts of her--though he never seriously hoped that she would condescend to him. At the time of his "adventure" with Nastasia Philipovna he had come to the conclusion that money was his only hope--money should do all for him. At the moment when he lost Aglaya, and after the scene with Nastasia, he had felt so low in his own eyes that he actually brought the money back to the prince. Of this returning of the money given to him by a madwoman who had received it from a madman, he had often repented since--though he never ceased to be proud of his action. During the short time that Muishkin remained in Petersburg Gania had had time to come to hate him for his sympathy, though the prince told him that it was "not everyone who would have acted so nobly" as to return the money. He had long pondered, too, over his relations with Aglaya, and had persuaded himself that with such a strange, childish, innocent character as hers, things might have ended very differently. Remorse then seized him; he threw up his post, and buried himself in self-torment and reproach. He lived at Ptitsin's, and openly showed contempt for the latter, though he always listened to his advice, and was sensible enough to ask for it when he wanted it. Gavrila Ardalionovitch was angry with Ptitsin because the latter did not care to become a Rothschild. "If you are to be a Jew," he said, "do it properly-- squeeze people right and left, show some character; be the King of the Jews while you are about it." Ptitsin was quiet and not easily offended--he only laughed. But on one occasion he explained seriously to Gania that he was no Jew, that he did nothing dishonest, that he could not help the market price of money, that, thanks to his accurate habits, he had already a good footing and was respected, and that his business was flourishing. "I shan't ever be a Rothschild, and there is no reason why I should," he added, smiling; "but I shall have a house in the Liteynaya, perhaps two, and that will be enough for me." "Who knows but what I may have three!" he concluded to himself; but this dream, cherished inwardly, he never confided to a soul. Nature loves and favours such people. Ptitsin will certainly have his reward, not three houses, but four, precisely because from childhood up he had realized that he would never be a Rothschild. That will be the limit of Ptitsin's fortune, and, come what may, he will never have more than four houses. Varvara Ardalionovna was not like her brother. She too, had passionate desires, but they were persistent rather than impetuous. Her plans were as wise as her methods of carrying them out. No doubt she also belonged to the category of ordinary people who dream of being original, but she soon discovered that she had not a grain of true originality, and she did not let it trouble her too much. Perhaps a certain kind of pride came to her help. She made her first concession to the demands of practical life with great resolution when she consented to marry Ptitsin. However, when she married she did not say to herself, "Never mind a mean action if it leads to the end in view," as her brother would certainly have said in such a case; it is quite probable that he may have said it when he expressed his elder-brotherly satisfaction at her decision. Far from this; Varvara Ardalionovna did not marry until she felt convinced that her future husband was unassuming, agreeable, almost cultured, and that nothing on earth would tempt him to a really dishonourable deed. As to small meannesses, such trifles did not trouble her. Indeed, who is free from them? It is absurd to expect the ideal! Besides, she knew that her marriage would provide a refuge for all her family. Seeing Gania unhappy, she was anxious to help him, in spite of their former disputes and misunderstandings. Ptitsin, in a friendly way, would press his brother-in-law to enter the army. "You know," he said sometimes, jokingly, "you despise generals and generaldom, but you will see that 'they' will all end by being generals in their turn. You will see it if you live long enough!" "But why should they suppose that I despise generals?" Gania thought sarcastically to himself. To serve her brother's interests, Varvara Ardalionovna was constantly at the Epanchins' house, helped by the fact that in childhood she and Gania had played with General Ivan Fedorovitch's daughters. It would have been inconsistent with her character if in these visits she had been pursuing a chimera; her project was not chimerical at all; she was building on a firm basis--on her knowledge of the character of the Epanchin family, especially Aglaya, whom she studied closely. All Varvara's efforts were directed towards bringing Aglaya and Gania together. Perhaps she achieved some result; perhaps, also, she made the mistake of depending too much upon her brother, and expecting more from him than he would ever be capable of giving. However this may be, her manoeuvres were skilful enough. For weeks at a time she would never mention Gania. Her attitude was modest but dignified, and she was always extremely truthful and sincere. Examining the depths of her conscience, she found nothing to reproach herself with, and this still further strengthened her in her designs. But Varvara Ardalionovna sometimes remarked that she felt spiteful; that there was a good deal of vanity in her, perhaps even of wounded vanity. She noticed this at certain times more than at others, and especially after her visits to the Epanchins. Today, as I have said, she returned from their house with a heavy feeling of dejection. There was a sensation of bitterness, a sort of mocking contempt, mingled with it. Arrived at her own house, Varia heard a considerable commotion going on in the upper storey, and distinguished the voices of her father and brother. On entering the salon she found Gania pacing up and down at frantic speed, pale with rage and almost tearing his hair. She frowned, and subsided on to the sofa with a tired air, and without taking the trouble to remove her hat. She very well knew that if she kept quiet and asked her brother nothing about his reason for tearing up and down the room, his wrath would fall upon her head. So she hastened to put the question: "The old story, eh?" "Old story? No! Heaven knows what's up now--I don't! Father has simply gone mad; mother's in floods of tears. Upon my word, Varia, I must kick him out of the house; or else go myself," he added, probably remembering that he could not well turn people out of a house which was not his own. "You must make allowances," murmured Varia. "Make allowances? For whom? Him--the old blackguard? No, no, Varia--that won't do! It won't do, I tell you! And look at the swagger of the man! He's all to blame himself, and yet he puts on so much 'side' that you'd think--my word!--'It's too much trouble to go through the gate, you must break the fence for me!' That's the sort of air he puts on; but what's the matter with you, Varia? What a curious expression you have!" "I'm all right," said Varia, in a tone that sounded as though she were all wrong. Gania looked more intently at her. "You've been THERE?" he asked, suddenly. "Yes." "Did you find out anything?" "Nothing unexpected. I discovered that it's all true. My husband was wiser than either of us. Just as he suspected from the beginning, so it has fallen out. Where is he?" "Out. Well--what has happened?--go on." "The prince is formally engaged to her--that's settled. The elder sisters told me about it. Aglaya has agreed. They don't attempt to conceal it any longer; you know how mysterious and secret they have all been up to now. Adelaida's wedding is put off again, so that both can be married on one day. Isn't that delightfully romantic? Somebody ought to write a poem on it. Sit down and write an ode instead of tearing up and down like that. This evening Princess Bielokonski is to arrive; she comes just in time--they have a party tonight. He is to be presented to old Bielokonski, though I believe he knows her already; probably the engagement will be openly announced. They are only afraid that he may knock something down, or trip over something when he comes into the room. It would be just like him." Gania listened attentively, but to his sister's astonishment he was by no means so impressed by this news (which should, she thought, have been so important to him) as she had expected. "Well, it was clear enough all along," he said, after a moment's reflection. "So that's the end," he added, with a disagreeable smile, continuing to walk up and down the room, but much slower than before, and glancing slyly into his sister's face. "It's a good thing that you take it philosophically, at all events," said Varia. "I'm really very glad of it." "Yes, it's off our hands--off YOURS, I should say." "I think I have served you faithfully. I never even asked you what happiness you expected to find with Aglaya." "Did I ever expect to find happiness with Aglaya?" "Come, come, don't overdo your philosophy. Of course you did. Now it's all over, and a good thing, too; pair of fools that we have been! I confess I have never been able to look at it seriously. I busied myself in it for your sake, thinking that there was no knowing what might happen with a funny girl like that to deal with. There were ninety to one chances against it. To this moment I can't make out why you wished for it." "H'm! now, I suppose, you and your husband will never weary of egging me on to work again. You'll begin your lectures about perseverance and strength of will, and all that. I know it all by heart," said Gania, laughing. "He's got some new idea in his head," thought Varia. "Are they pleased over there--the parents?" asked Gania, suddenly. "N--no, I don't think they are. You can judge for yourself. I think the general is pleased enough; her mother is a little uneasy. She always loathed the idea of the prince as a HUSBAND; everybody knows that." "Of course, naturally. The bridegroom is an impossible and ridiculous one. I mean, has SHE given her formal consent?" "She has not said 'no,' up to now, and that's all. It was sure to be so with her. You know what she is like. You know how absurdly shy she is. You remember how she used to hide in a cupboard as a child, so as to avoid seeing visitors, for hours at a time. She is just the same now; but, do you know, I think there is something serious in the matter, even from her side; I feel it, somehow. She laughs at the prince, they say, from morn to night in order to hide her real feelings; but you may be sure she finds occasion to say something or other to him on the sly, for he himself is in a state of radiant happiness. He walks in the clouds; they say he is extremely funny just now; I heard it from themselves. They seemed to be laughing at me in their sleeves-- those elder girls--I don't know why." Gania had begun to frown, and probably Varia added this last sentence in order to probe his thought. However, at this moment, the noise began again upstairs. "I'll turn him out!" shouted Gania, glad of the opportunity of venting his vexation. "I shall just turn him out--we can't have this." "Yes, and then he'll go about the place and disgrace us as he did yesterday." "How 'as he did yesterday'? What do you mean? What did he do yesterday?" asked Gania, in alarm. "Why, goodness me, don't you know?" Varia stopped short. "What? You don't mean to say that he went there yesterday!" cried Gania, flushing red with shame and anger. "Good heavens, Varia! Speak! You have just been there. WAS he there or not, QUICK?" And Gania rushed for the door. Varia followed and caught him by both hands. "What are you doing? Where are you going to? You can't let him go now; if you do he'll go and do something worse." "What did he do there? What did he say?" "They couldn't tell me themselves; they couldn't make head or tail of it; but he frightened them all. He came to see the general, who was not at home; so he asked for Lizabetha Prokofievna. First of all, he begged her for some place, or situation, for work of some kind, and then he began to complain about US, about me and my husband, and you, especially YOU; he said a lot of things." "Oh! couldn't you find out?" muttered Gania, trembling hysterically. "No--nothing more than that. Why, they couldn't understand him themselves; and very likely didn't tell me all." Gania seized his head with both hands and tottered to the window; Varia sat down at the other window. "Funny girl, Aglaya," she observed, after a pause. "When she left me she said, 'Give my special and personal respects to your parents; I shall certainly find an opportunity to see your father one day,' and so serious over it. She's a strange creature." "Wasn't she joking? She was speaking sarcastically!" "Not a bit of it; that's just the strange part of it." "Does she know about father, do you think--or not?" "That they do NOT know about it in the house is quite certain, the rest of them, I mean; but you have given me an idea. Aglaya perhaps knows. She alone, though, if anyone; for the sisters were as astonished as I was to hear her speak so seriously. If she knows, the prince must have told her." "Oh! it's not a great matter to guess who told her. A thief! A thief in our family, and the head of the family, too!" "Oh! nonsense!" cried Varia, angrily. "That was nothing but a drunkard's tale. Nonsense! Why, who invented the whole thing-- Lebedeff and the prince--a pretty pair! Both were probably drunk." "Father is a drunkard and a thief; I am a beggar, and the husband of my sister is a usurer," continued Gania, bitterly. "There was a pretty list of advantages with which to enchant the heart of Aglaya." "That same husband of your sister, the usurer--" "Feeds me? Go on. Don't stand on ceremony, pray." "Don't lose your temper. You are just like a schoolboy. You think that all this sort of thing would harm you in Aglaya's eyes, do you? You little know her character. She is capable of refusing the most brilliant party, and running away and starving in a garret with some wretched student; that's the sort of girl she is. You never could or did understand how interesting you would have seen in her eyes if you had come firmly and proudly through our misfortunes. The prince has simply caught her with hook and line; firstly, because he never thought of fishing for her, and secondly, because he is an idiot in the eyes of most people. It's quite enough for her that by accepting him she puts her family out and annoys them all round--that's what she likes. You don't understand these things." "We shall see whether I understand or no!" said Gania, enigmatically. "But I shouldn't like her to know all about father, all the same. I thought the prince would manage to hold his tongue about this, at least. He prevented Lebedeff spreading the news--he wouldn't even tell me all when I asked him--" "Then you must see that he is not responsible. What does it matter to you now, in any case? What are you hoping for still? If you HAVE a hope left, it is that your suffering air may soften her heart towards you." "Oh, she would funk a scandal like anyone else. You are all tarred with one brush!" "What! AGLAYA would have funked? You are a chicken-hearted fellow, Gania!" said Varia, looking at her brother with contempt. "Not one of us is worth much. Aglaya may be a wild sort of a girl, but she is far nobler than any of us, a thousand times nobler!" "Well--come! there's nothing to get cross about," said Gania. "All I'm afraid of is--mother. I'm afraid this scandal about father may come to her ears; perhaps it has already. I am dreadfully afraid." "It undoubtedly has already!" observed Gania. Varia had risen from her place and had started to go upstairs to her mother; but at this observation of Gania's she turned and gazed at him attentively. "Who could have told her?" "Hippolyte, probably. He would think it the most delightful amusement in the world to tell her of it the instant he moved over here; I haven't a doubt of it." "But how could he know anything of it? Tell me that. Lebedeff and the prince determined to tell no one--even Colia knows nothing." "What, Hippolyte? He found it out himself, of course. Why, you have no idea what a cunning little animal he is; dirty little gossip! He has the most extraordinary nose for smelling out other people's secrets, or anything approaching to scandal. Believe it or not, but I'm pretty sure he has got round Aglaya. If he hasn't, he soon will. Rogojin is intimate with him, too. How the prince doesn't notice it, I can't understand. The little wretch considers me his enemy now and does his best to catch me tripping. What on earth does it matter to him, when he's dying? However, you'll see; I shall catch HIM tripping yet, and not he me." "Why did you get him over here, if you hate him so? And is it really worth your while to try to score off him?" "Why, it was yourself who advised me to bring him over!" "I thought he might be useful. You know he is in love with Aglaya himself, now, and has written to her; he has even written to Lizabetha Prokofievna!" "Oh! he's not dangerous there!" cried Gania, laughing angrily. "However, I believe there is something of that sort in the air; he is very likely to be in love, for he is a mere boy. But he won't write anonymous letters to the old lady; that would be too audacious a thing for him to attempt; but I dare swear the very first thing he did was to show me up to Aglaya as a base deceiver and intriguer. I confess I was fool enough to attempt something through him at first. I thought he would throw himself into my service out of revengeful feelings towards the prince, the sly little beast! But I know him better now. As for the theft, he may have heard of it from the widow in Petersburg, for if the old man committed himself to such an act, he can have done it for no other object but to give the money to her. Hippolyte said to me, without any prelude, that the general had promised the widow four hundred roubles. Of course I understood, and the little wretch looked at me with a nasty sort of satisfaction. I know him; you may depend upon it he went and told mother too, for the pleasure of wounding her. And why doesn't he die, I should like to know? He undertook to die within three weeks, and here he is getting fatter. His cough is better, too. It was only yesterday that he said that was the second day he hadn't coughed blood." "Well, turn him out!" "I don't HATE, I despise him," said Gania, grandly. "Well, I do hate him, if you like!" he added, with a sudden access of rage, "and I'll tell him so to his face, even when he's dying! If you had but read his confession--good Lord! what refinement of impudence! Oh, but I'd have liked to whip him then and there, like a schoolboy, just to see how surprised he would have been! Now he hates everybody because he--Oh, I say, what on earth are they doing there! Listen to that noise! I really can't stand this any longer. Ptitsin!" he cried, as the latter entered the room, "what in the name of goodness are we coming to? Listen to that--" But the noise came rapidly nearer, the door burst open, and old General Ivolgin, raging, furious, purple-faced, and trembling with anger, rushed in. He was followed by Nina Alexandrovna, Colia, and behind the rest, Hippolyte. 我们故事中的两位主人公在绿色长椅上约会以后过了约星期。在一个明媚的上午１０点半左右，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜·普季岑娜出来拜访自己的熟人后，思虑重重、黯然神伤地回到家里。 有这么一种人，对他们很难说出什么最典型、最有特点的个性能一下子整个地形容他们；这是那些通常被称作“平平常常”、“绝大多数”的人，他们确实构成任何社会的大多数。作家们在自己的中长篇小说中大多努力选取社会的典型，形象地、艺术地表现他们，这种典型在现实生活中完全是很少能遇见的，但是他们几乎比现实本身更为现实。波德科列辛＊作为一种典型，也许甚至是夸大了的，但绝非凭空捏造。有多少聪明人从果戈理那里认识了波德科列辛后，立即就发现有几十、几百他们的熟人和朋友跟波德科列辛相象得不得了。在读到果戈理的作品前他们就知道，他们的这些朋友就是波德科列辛这样的人，只是还不知道就该这样称呼他罢了。在现实生活中新郎面临婚礼时跳窗逃走是极为罕见的，因为不说别的，这样做至少是很让人尴尬的；但是有多少新郎，甚至还是些可尊敬的聪明人，在婚礼前却在自己内心深处准备承认自己是波德科列辛。不是所有的丈夫时时处处都高喊：“Ｔｕ Ｉ’ａｓ　ｖｏｕｌｕ，Ｇｅｏｒｇｅ ｄａｎｄｉｍ！＊但是，天哪，全世界有多少丈夫在他们的蜜月后却几百万次甚至几十亿次重复着这一发自心扉的呼声，而谁又知道，也许就在婚礼后的第二天。 就这样，我们不再做更认真的说明，只想说，在现实生活中人物的典型性仿佛被掺了水，所有这些乔治·当丹和波德科列辛确实是存在的，每天在我们面前奔来奔去，往来穿梭，但是似乎处于稍微稀释的状态。最后，为了真理的全面性，需要附带说明一下，整个儿如莫里哀塑造的乔治·当丹一般的活乔治·当丹，在现实生活中也可能会遇到，尽管很难得碰上。我们就此结束我们的议论，它开始变得像杂志上的批评文章了。但是在我们面前毕竟还留着一个问题：小说家该怎么处理那些普普通通、完全是“平平常常的”人，怎么把他们展示给读者，使他们多少变得能使人产生兴趣？在叙述中完全避开他们无论如何是办不到的，因为普通人无时无刻都大量地构成了日常生活事件中必不可少的环节；避开他们，也就破坏了真实性。光用一些典型去充塞小说，或者，为了引人兴趣，甚至干脆让一些古怪和虚幻的人物布满小说，那么是不真实的，大概，也不会引起兴趣。据我们看来，即使是在普通人中间，作家也应该努力去寻找有意义的和有教益的特色。例如，有些普通人的本质恰恰在于他们始终一贯和一成不变的普通性上，或者，更好的是，尽管这些人的非凡的努力无论如何想要脱离平常和保守的巢穴，他们的结局去仍然是依然故我，永远只是墨守成规，那么这样的人甚至具有某种自己的典型性--普通人的典型，他们怎么也不想当他本来当的普通人，千方百计想成为与众不同和有独立精神的人，却又不具备丝毫独立的本领。 ＊果戈理喜剧《结婚》中的人物。 ＊＊法国莫里哀的喜剧《乔汉·当丹》中的话，“你是自作自受，乔治·当丹”。 我们故事中的某些人就属于这一类“平平常常”或“普普通通”的人，至今还很少向读者交代清楚他们的情况（我承认这一点）。瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜·普季岑娜，她的丈夫普季岑先生，她的兄长加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇正是这样的人。 确实，没有什么比做一个例如这样的人更懊丧的了：具有富裕的家财，高贵的姓氏，像样的外表，不错的教育，人也不蠢，甚至心地善良，可同时却没有任何才能、任何特长、甚至任何古怪行为、任何一个自己的思想，完全“跟大家一样”。财产是有的，但不是罗特希尔德那样的富翁；姓氏是清白的，但从来也没有标志过什么；外表是体面的，但很少能表明什么；所受的教育是正规的，但是却不知道用到什么地方去；智慧是有的，但没有自己的思想；心地是好的，但缺乏宽宏大量；等等，等等，一切方面都是如此。世界上这样的人异常之多，甚至比觉得的多得多；如所有的人一样，他们被分为两大类：一类是才智有限的，另一类“聪明得多”，前者要幸运得多。对于才智有限的“平常人”来说没有比把自己想象成是不平凡的、与众不同的人更容易的了，他们毫不犹豫地以此为乐，聊以自慰。我们的有些小姐只要剪短自己的头发，戴上蓝色眼镜，自称是虚无主义者，马上就相信，戴上眼镜后他们便立即有了自己的“信念”。有的人只要在自己心里感觉到点滴全人类的和善良的感受，便立即确信，谁也不会有他这样的情感，他在总体发展上是个先进者。有的人只要口头上接受某种思想或者没头没尾读了页把书，便马上相信这是在他自己的头脑里产生的“自己的思想”。在这种种情况下厚颜无耻的幼稚（如果可以这样说的话）会达到令人吃惊的地步；所有这一切令人不可思议，但却时时刻刻都能遇到。果戈理在惊人的典型皮罗戈夫＊中尉身上把这种厚颜无耻的幼雅；把一个蠢人对自己和自己的才能的毫不怀疑的自信绝妙地表现了出来，皮罗戈夫甚至并不怀疑自己是个天才，甚至高于所有的天才；他自信到一次也没有向自己提出过这种疑问，不过，对他来说是不存在疑问的。终于，为了满足道德感情受了侮辱的读者，伟大的作家不得不鞭笞了他一顿，但是，看到这位大人物仅仅是抖了抖身子，在挨了打以后为了补足精力吃了千层饼，作家也只能摊摊双手，不管自己的读者了。我一直为果戈理笔下的这位伟大的皮罗戈夫只有这么低的军衔而痛惜，因为皮罗戈夫是那样自鸣得意，随着年资增长和职衔升迁他戴的肩章的穗干将越来越粗，越来越打转，他也就更容易把自己想象成例如是个出类拔萃的统帅；甚至不是想象，简直就深信不疑，升了将军，怎么会不是统帅呢？这样的将军后来在战场上惨遭失败又有多少？而在我们的文学家、学者、鼓动家中又有过多少皮罗戈夫？我说“有过”，但是，当然，现在也有…… 我们故事中的人物加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇·伊沃尔京属于另一类人；他属于“聪明得多”这一类人，尽管他从头到脚浑身都沾染了要出人头地的愿望。但是这一类人，正如我们在前面已经指出的那样，比起前者来要不幸得多。问题在于，聪明的“平常人”即使有时候（也许是一辈子）把自己想象成出类拔孽的天才，但是在自己心底还保留着一条怀疑的蛆虫，它能使聪明人有时完全陷于绝望而告终；如果他屈服于命运，也已经被深入内心的虚荣完全毒害了。不过，我们举的例子无论如何是个极端，绝大多数这类聪明人的遭遇完全不是这么悲惨的；仅仅在暮年时肝脏多少会有损害，如此而已。但是，在顺从和屈服以前，这些人终究是会异常长久地闹腾一通，从青年时代起直至与世无争的年龄，而一切全是出于要出人头地的愿望。甚至还会遇到非常奇怪的情况：出于出人头地的愿望有的正派人甚至下得了决心会干卑贱的事；甚至也常有这样的事：这些不幸的人中有的不仅正直，而且甚至还很善良，是全家的神明，用自己的劳动不仅赡养自己的家人，而且还养活他人，结果又怎样呢？一辈子不得安宁！他曾这么好地履行了自己做人的职责，这样的想法丝毫也不能使他安宁和得到慰藉；甚至相反会刺激他，他会说：“瞧，我一辈子在忙什么了，就是这一切束缚了我的手脚，就是这一切妨碍我发明火药！假若没有这一切，我一定能发明什么，不是发明火药，就是发现美洲，－－确实我还不知道会发明什么，但是一定会发明的！”这些先生最本质的特点是，他们这一辈子无论如何也不能确切知道，什么是他们应该去发现的一什夕是他们准备奉献终生去发现的，火药还是美洲，不过，说真的，他们瞩望发明所受的痛苦和烦恼也够得上哥伦布或伽利略那份命运了，加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇正是这样开始他的人生的，但还刚刚开始。他会面临长时间的折腾、一方面不断地深深感受到自己的缺少才能，另一方面不可抑制地要使自己相信他是个有独立精神的人，这二者的矛盾几乎还是从少年时代起就使他的心灵受到了严重的创伤。这是个生性嫉妒、有着强烈欲望的年轻人，而且，好像生来就有一副好激动的神经。他把自己炽烈的愿望看做是力量。怀着超凡脱俗的热望，他有时准备做最不明智的贸然的跳跃；但是事情进行到刚刚要做这贸然的跳跃时，我们的主人公要下决心时，他又总是聪明过头。这就使他痛苦万分。也许，有时候他甚至下了决心去干极端卑鄙的事，只要能达到他理想中的东西；但是仿佛故意的，事情二旦要采取行动了，对于要于这极端卑鄙的事，他又总是太正直了（不过，干那种卑鄙的小事槽他是随时都会同意的）。他怀着厌恶的和憎恨的心理看着自己家庭的贫穷和败落。他甚至傲慢和轻蔑地对待母亲，尽管他自己也清楚地懂得，母亲的名声和性格现在还是他功名的主要支撑点。到叶潘钦将军那里干事，他立即对自己说：“既然要做卑鄙下流的事，那就做个彻底，只要能赢。”可是几乎从来也没有彻底地去做。再做，为什么他想到他一定得做卑鄙下流的事呢？那个时候他简直怕阿格拉娅，但是他并没有放弃与她的关系，而是抱着万一的希望，拽着它，虽然他从来也没有当真相信过她会俯就他、后来，在跟纳斯塔西娅·费利帕夫娜有纠葛这件事中，他突然领悟到，要达到一切全在于钱。“卑鄙下流就卑鄙下流，”那时他每天都以自我满足同时也有几分惧怕的心理反复对自己说这话；“既然卑鄙下流，就索性卑鄙下流到顶，”他时时给自己鼓气，“在这种时候墨守成规是会胆怯的，而我们并不畏怯！”他输掉了阿格拉娅，又被情势所压垮，便完全心灰意懒，真的把当时发了狂的女人扔给他的钱送来给公爵（而给那女人送钱来的也是一个发了狂的人。）后来他对于还钱这件事后悔了上千次，尽管与此同时他又吹嘘这一点，在公爵留在彼得堡时，他确实曾哭了三天，但是在这三天中他也已经开始憎恨公爵，因为公爵过分同情地看待他，而那时他归还这样数额的钱，“不是所有的人都有决心这么做的。”但是他老实地自我承认，他的全部苦恼就只是虚荣心不断地受到压抑，这种承认又强烈地折磨着他。直到过了很久以后他才看清并确信，他跟阿格拉娅这样天真、古怪的小姐之间的事本来当真能发展的，悔恨啮噬着他的心；他放弃了职务，沉溺于苦恼和灰心之中。他和父母都住在普季岑家并由其供养，同时他又公开蔑视普季岑，虽然他经常听从他的劝告，而且是那样明理，几乎总是征询他的意见。比方说，普季岑并不奢望成为罗特希尔德，也不以此为目标，这使加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇很生气。“既然是放高利货，那就干到底，就去压榨人，从他们那里压出钱来，要有刚硬的性格，要做一个犹太王！”普季岑是个谦和，安详的人，他只是微笑，但有一次他认为甚至有必要与加尼亚认真地解释一下并带着几分尊严做了这件事，他向加尼亚证明他没有做过任何不正派的事，因此加尼亚称他为犹太人是没有道理的；如果说要付出这样的代价得到钱，那么他也没有过错，他做事诚实，正派，真诚，他仅仅是“这些”事情的代理人，最后，他说，由于他办事认真，已经在一些最有优势的人中间享有相当好的声誉，他的事业在扩大。“我不会做罗特希乐德，再说也没什么必要，”他笑着补充说，干而在利捷伊纳亚街上会有我的一幢房子，也许，甚至是两幢，我也就到此为止。”“谁知道呢。也许是三幢！”他暗自思忖，但从来也不说出声来，一直隐瞒着自己的理想。而命运喜欢和爱抚这样的人；它会奖赏给普季岑不是三幢，而一定是四幢楼，正是因为他从小已经知道，他永远不会成为罗特希尔德。但是超过四幢楼，命运也是怎么也下会给的，普季岑的事业也就到那为止了。 ＊果戈理著《涅瓦大街》里的人物。 加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇的妹妹则完全是另一种人。她也怀着强烈的愿望，但执著多于激动。当事情进行到最后关头时，她不乏理智，但是即使是不到最后关头时，理智也没有离开她。确实，她也是属于期望出人头地的“平常人”之列，然而她很快就能意识到，她身上没有点滴别的独特之处，但她对此并没有过多的忧伤，谁知道呢，也许是出于一种特别的自尊。她以非凡的决心做出了第一步实际的行动，嫁给了普季岑先生；但是出嫁的时候她根本就没有对自己说：“卑鄙下流就卑鄙下流，只要达到目的，”不像加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇那样在这种情况下是不会放过说这种话的（作为兄长他赞同她的决定，甚至差点当着她的面说这话）。甚至完全相反，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜有充分根据相信她未来的丈夫是个谦和、令人好感的人，几乎是有教养的人，无论如何永远也不会去做缺大德的恶事，正是确信这些以后她才嫁给他。对于那些细小的缺德事，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜就像对鸡毛蒜皮的小事一样未加过问；哪里没有这样的小缺德事呢？找的可不是理想人物嘛！何况她知道，她出嫁就可以给自己的父母、兄弟一个栖身之处。看到兄长遭遇不幸，她想帮助他，尽管过去有过种种家庭的误解，普季岑有时催加尼亚，当然是友好地催促，催他去找差使。“你瞧不起将军和将军的衔头，”他有时开玩笑对他说，“可是你瞧吧，所有‘他们’这些人最终都成了将军；你活到那个时候，就会看到的。”“可是凭什么他们认为我轻视将军和将军衔头呢？”加尼亚讥讽地暗自思忖。为了帮助兄长，瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜决定扩大自己的行动范围：她打进叶潘钦家，儿童时代的回忆帮了很大的忙：她和哥哥还在童年时就和叶潘钦家的小姐们一起玩耍过。这里要指出，假若瓦尔瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜去拜访叶潘钦小姐是追求某种不寻常的理想，那么她马上就会脱离她自己把自己归入的那一类人；但是她追求的不是理想；从她来讲这里甚至有相当切实的盘算：她是以这一家的性格做基础的。她孜孜不倦地研究过阿格拉娅的性格。她向自己提出了任务，要使哥哥和阿格拉娅两人彼此重新回心转意。也许，她确实己达到了某些进展；也许，她陷进过错误，比方说，过多地寄希望于兄长，期待着从他那里得到他永远也不会以任何方式给予的东西。不论怎样，她在叶潘钦家做得相当巧妙：好多星期她都不提她哥哥的事，总是异常真挚诚恳，举止不卑不亢。至于自己的良心深处，她不怕朝里窥视，觉得完全没什么可以责备自己的。这一点赋予她力量。有时候她发觉自己身上只有一点不好，那就是跟她也许好发怒。也有很强的自尊心，甚至几乎是虚荣心，只是受到了压抑；几乎每次离开叶潘钦家时，她尤其会觉到这一点。 现在她就是从她们那儿回来，正如我们已经说过的那样，她陷于忧伤的沉思之中。在这种忧伤中透露出一丝嘲讽和痛苦。普季岑在帕夫洛夫斯克住在一幢并不漂亮，但宽敞的木屋里。这幢小屋坐落在尘上飞扬的街道上。很快就将完全归他所有，因而已经轮到他开始把它卖给什么人了。瓦乐瓦拉·阿尔达利翁诺夫娜登上台阶的时候，听到楼上非同寻常的吵架声，并区分出哥哥的和爸爸大叫大嚷的嗓门。走进厅屋，她看见加尼亚气得脸色煞白，几乎揪着自己的头发，在房问里来回急步上着，她皱了下眉头，带着一副疲倦的样子，帽子也不脱就坐到沙发上：她非常清楚地懂得：如果她再沉默一分钟，不问一声哥哥，为什么他这样急步走来走，他一定会生气的，因此瓦里娅终于赶紧开腔问道： “还是老一套。” “哪是什么老一套！”加尼亚嚷着，“老一套！不，鬼知道现在发生了什么，而不是老一套！老头变得疯了似的……妈妈在号啕大哭。真的，瓦里娅，随你怎么样，我要把他赶出家门，或者……或者我自己离开你们，”他补了一句，大概是想起了，不能把人从人家家里赶走。 “应该宽容些。”瓦里娅低声说。 “宽容什么？对谁？”加尼亚怒气勃勃说，“宽容他的卑劣行为？不，随你怎么说‘这可不行！不行，不行，不行！’而且，瞧他那副佯子：自己有过错，却还神气活现的。‘我不想走大门，给我把围墙拆了！……’你怎么这副样子坐着，你的脸色怎么这样？” “脸色就脸色呗，”瓦里娅不满地说。 加尼亚更用心地看了她一眼。 “你到那边去了？”他突然问。 “等一等，他们又嚷起来了：真够羞耻的，而且还在这样的时刻！” “什么这样的时刻？没有什么特别的这样的时刻。” 加尼亚更加专注地打量着妹妹。 “你知道什么了。”他问。 “至少没有什么出人意料的事。我打听到，这一切都是真的。我丈夫比我们俩估计得更正确：一开始他就预言过，果真就是这么回事。他在什么地方？” “不在家。是什么结果？” “公爵已是正式的未婚夫了，事情已经决定。是两位姐姐告诉我的。阿格拉娅也同意了；他们甚至也不再隐瞒了。（那里在这以前总有一种神秘的气氛。）阿杰莱达的婚礼又拖延了，为的是一下子同时举行一个婚礼，在同一天，真够诗意的！就像一首诗。你还是做一首结婚的诗，也比白白地地满屋子乱转要好。今天晚上别洛孔斯卡娅要到他们家，她来得正是时候，还会有别的客人。他们要把他介绍给洛孔断卡娅，虽然他已经认识她了，似乎要当众宣布。他们只是担心，公爵当着客人的面走迸房间的时候，可别掉下或打碎什么东西，或者他自己别噗通一声倒下了，他总会出什么事。” 加尼亚听得非常注意，但是使其妹妹感到惊奇的是，这一应该使他吃惊的消息似乎一点也没有使他产生惊讶的反应。 “这有什么，这是明摆着的，”想了一下后他说，“这就是说，一切结束了！”他带着一种奇怪的苦笑补充说，一边狡黯地探察着妹妹的脸色，依然继续在房间里来回走着，但已经安宁得多了。 “还好，你能以皙学家的姿态接受这样的事实，真的，我很高兴，”瓦里娅说。 “可以解脱了；至少你可以解脱了。” “可以说，我是诚心为你效劳的， 既没高谈阔论，也没惹你厌烦；我没有问过你，你想在阿格拉娅那里寻求什么样的幸福？” “难道我……在阿格拉娅那里寻求过幸福？” “算了，请别热衷于哲学！当然是这样。当然，我们也够了，当了傻瓜。我向你承认，对这件事我从来也没有认真对待过；只不过是抱着‘万一能成’的心理做这书件，把希望寄托在她那可笑的性格上，而主要是为了使你感到快慰，虽然有百分之九十的可能要垮，我甚至到现在还不知道，你想达到的是什么目标。” “现在你和丈夫又要催我去干差事了；又要对我大讲起顽强和意志力的道理来，别瞧不起于小事，等等，我都能背得出来，”加尼亚哈哈笑了起来。 “他头脑里有什么新的想法！”瓦里娅想。 “那边怎么样，父母高兴吗。”突然加尼亚问。 “好像不高兴，其实，你自己也能得到结论；伊万·费奥多罗维奇是满意的，母亲则担心；过去她对于要把他当女婿来看并不怀有好感，这是众所周知的。” “我不是说这个；他当未婚夫是不可思议和难以想象的，这很明白。我问的是现在的情况，现在那边怎么样，她正式同意了？” “到现在她没有说过‘不’，这就是全部情况，但是也不可能从那里得到什么别的表示，你知道，到现在她的害羞腼腆和怕难为情有多乖戾：小时候她常钻到柜子里，在那里蹲上两三个小时，只是为了不出来见客人，现在个子长这么高，可还是那个样。知道吗，我不知为什么想，那边确实有什么严重的事情，甚至是她那方面的。据说，她从早到晚一个劲儿嘲笑公爵，为的是不露声色，但想必每天她都会对他说悄悄话，因为他就像在天堂里那样容光焕发……据说，他可笑得不得了。总之也是从她们那里听来的，我也觉得，她们那两个姐姐在当面取笑我。” 加尼亚终于变得阴郁起来；也许，瓦里娅故意深入到这个话题里去，以便洞察他的真正思想。但是上面又响起了喊叫声。 “我要赶他走！”加尼亚大吼一声，仿佛很高兴能借此发泄自己的烦恼。 “那他又会像昨天一样到处丢我们的脸。” “怎么--像昨天一样？像昨天--这是怎么一回事？难道……”加尼亚突然惊慌得不得了。 “啊，我的天哪，难道你不知道？”瓦里娅恍然大悟。 “怎么……这么说难道是真的他到那儿去过了？”加尼亚又羞又怒，涨得满脸通红，大声嚷道，“天哪，你不是从那儿来吗？你知道些什么？老头去过那里没有？去还是没去过？” 加尼亚向门口冲去，瓦里娅奔向他，双手抓住了他。 “你要干什么？你说，你要去哪儿？”她说，“你现在放他走，他会做出更糟糕的事来，会去找所有的人！……” “他在那边干了什么了？说了什么。” “他们自己也讲不清楚，也不明白；只不过把大家吓坏了，他去找伊万·费奥多罗维奇，他不在，他便要求见叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。起先请求她谋个位置，找份差事，后来便抱怨起我们来，说我，说我丈夫，尤其是说你……说了一大堆话。” “你没弄清楚说些什么。”加尼亚似歇斯底里发作一般全身发抖。 “哪能呢！他自己也未必明白说了些什么，也许，他们没有全转告我。” 加尼亚抓住脑袋，跑向窗口，瓦里娅在另一扇窗边坐下。 “可笑的阿格拉娅，”她突然指出，“叫住我说：“请向您父母转达我个人的特别是敬意；日内我一定找机会跟您爸爸见面。’她说得非常认真。奇怪得不得了……” “不是嘲笑？不是讥讽。” “正因为不是，所以才觉得奇怪。” “她知道不知道老头的事，你怎么想？” “他们家里不知道，这一点我不怀疑；但是你使我产生一个想法：阿格拉娅可能知道，就她一个人知道，因为当她这么认真地转达对父亲的问候时，她的两个姐姐也感到惊奇。再说是什么缘由正是向他致意？如果她知道，那就是公爵转告她的，” “谁告诉她的，这不费劲知道，竟然当起小偷来了！这还不够吗？就在我们家，还是‘一家之主’呢！” “嘿，胡说！”瓦里娅完全发火了，嚷道，“那是喝碎了胡闹的，没有别的用意；谁捏造这种话的？列别杰夫，公爵……他门自己都是好人；聪明过人。我可不怎么看重这一点。” “老头是小偷和酒鬼，”加尼亚继续尖酸刻薄地说，“我是个穷鬼，妹夫是个放高利贷的，真有碍阿格打娅眼红的！没什么好说的，真够动听的！” “这个妹夫，放高利贷者，在……” “在养我，是不是？请你不用客气。” “你发什么脾气？”瓦里娅豁然醒悟过来说，“你什么也不明白。就像个小学生似的。你以为，这一切都会损害你在阿格拉娅心目中的形象？你不知道她的性格；她能不理睬头号有钱的阔女婿，而心甘情愿地跑到某个大学生住的街上，跟他一起饿得要死，这就是她的理想！你永远也不可能理解，假如你能坚定和自尊地经受住我们这种家境，你在她眼里就会变得多么有意思！公爵使她上钩用的办法，第一，根本不去钓她，第二、他在大家面前装做白痴。为了他她把全家搞得乱糟糟的。单就这一点觉得好。咳，您什么也不明白！” “得了，还得瞧，它竟明白下明白，”加尼亚令人费解地低语说，“只不过我依然不希望她知道老头的事。我认为，公爵会守口如瓶，不讲出去的。他也会制止列别杰夫的；在我缠着他问时，他也不想全对我说……” “看来，你自己也看到了，除了他一切已经昭然若揭了。现在你还想干什么？还指望什么？如果还存在一线希望的话，那么这仅仅使你在她眼中平添了一副受难的样子。” “嘿，尽管阿格拉娅充满罗曼蒂克，可是这种丑事也会使她望而却步的。一切都有一定的界限，一切都有一定的界限，你们全都是这样。” “阿格拉娅会畏怯？”瓦里娅轻蔑瞥了一眼兄长，火冒三丈地说，“可是你的灵魂是卑贱的！你们这种人全都一钱不值，纵然她可笑、古怪，可是比我们所有的人要高尚成千倍。” “好了，没什么，没什么，别生气，”加尼亚满意地又低声说。 “我只是怜悯母亲，”瓦里娅继续说，“我担心父亲的这件事会传到她耳朵里。哎，真担心！” “大概已经传到了，”加尼亚指出。 瓦里娅本已站起来想上楼到尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜那儿去，但停住身，注意地看了一眼兄长。 “谁会对她说呢？” “想必是伊波利特。我认为，他一搬到我们这儿来，就把向母亲报告这件事看做是第一件乐事。” “他又怎么知道的呢，请告诉我？公爵和列别杰夫决定对谁都不说出来，甚至科利亚也什么都不知道。” “伊波利特？他自己打听到的。你无法想象，这家伙狡猾到什么程度，他多会搬弄是非，他有多么灵敏的鼻子，能嗅出一切丑事，一切坏事。嘿，信不信随你，而我深信，他已经把阿格拉娅掌握在手中。即使还没有掌握到手，也将会掌握到手的。罗戈任也跟他有联系，公爵怎么会没有注意到这一点！而且他现在多想暗算我呀！他把我看做是私敌，这点我早看清楚了，他干吗要这样，他这是要干什么，他可是快要死的人，我真不明白！但是我要哄骗他；你瞧着，不是他暗算我，而是我算计他。” “你这么恨他，又为什么引他过来呢？他值得你费心算计他吗？” “是你建议他搬到我们这儿来的。” “我以为他会是个有用的人；知道吗，他自己现在爱上了阿格拉娅并给她写信。她们详细地探问我……他差点要给叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜写信呢。” “在这个意义上他并不危险！”加尼亚恶狠狠地笑着说，“不过，确实有什么地方不是那么回事。说他爱上了阿格拉娅，这很可能，因为是男孩嘛！但是……他不会给老太婆写匿名信。这是个恶毒、渺小、自负的庸人！……我能肯定，我确信，他在她面前把我们形容成阴谋家，他就是这样开始的。我承认，我起先像傻瓜似的对他泄露了我的心思；我以为，出于同样的对公爵报复的动计他会跟我利益一致；他是这么个狡猾的家伙！哦，我现在完全看透他了。关于这桩偷窃事他是从自己母亲，即大尉妻子那里听来的。老头既然决定干这事，就是为了大尉妻子。伊波列特突然无缘无故告诉我，‘将军’答应给他母亲４００卢布，他就这样没头没脑，不拘任何礼节地对我说了。这下我就全明白了。而他就那样窥视着我的眼睛，一副得到满足的神态。他一定也讲给妈妈听了，纯粹是要撕碎她的心而得到满足。他干吗还不死，你倒告诉我？他可是过三星期就该死的。而在这里还养胖了点！他也不再咳嗽了；昨天晚上他自己对我说，已经两天没咯血了。” “赶他走。” “我不是恨他，而是蔑视他，”加尼亚骄傲地说，“好，是的，是的，就算我恨他吧，就算是吧！”他突然异常愤怒地喊了起来，“我要当面对他说这点，即使他躺在枕头上即将死去，我也要说！假如你读过他的《自白》，天哪，你就会知道，他的幼稚到了多么无耻的地步！这是皮罗戈夫中尉，这是悲剧中的诺兹德廖夫＊，而主要的是个男孩！我那时要是揍他一顿，让他吃惊吃惊。该有多痛快。现在他向所有的人报复，就为了当时他没有得逞……但这是怎么回事？那里又闹起来了！这到底是怎么回事？我终究会忍受不了的。普季岑！”他向走进房间的普季岑喊了起来，“这算什么，事情到底要闹到什么地步？这……这……” 但吵闹声很快就越来越近了，门突然敞开了，伊沃尔京老头怒气冲冲，面孔发紫，浑身颤抖，无所约束地朝普季岑大发雷霆。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜、科利亚跟在老头后面，在大家后面的则是伊波利特。

Part 3 Chapter 10 THE prince understood at last why he shivered with dread every time he thought of the three letters in his pocket, and why he had put off reading them until the evening. When he fell into a heavy sleep on the sofa on the verandah, without having had the courage to open a single one of the three envelopes, he again dreamed a painful dream, and once more that poor, "sinful" woman appeared to him. Again she gazed at him with tears sparkling on her long lashes, and beckoned him after her; and again he awoke, as before, with the picture of her face haunting him. He longed to get up and go to her at once--but he COULD NOT. At length, almost in despair, he unfolded the letters, and began to read them. These letters, too, were like a dream. We sometimes have strange, impossible dreams, contrary to all the laws of nature. When we awake we remember them and wonder at their strangeness. You remember, perhaps, that you were in full possession of your reason during this succession of fantastic images; even that you acted with extraordinary logic and cunning while surrounded by murderers who hid their intentions and made great demonstrations of friendship, while waiting for an opportunity to cut your throat. You remember how you escaped them by some ingenious stratagem; then you doubted if they were really deceived, or whether they were only pretending not to know your hiding-place; then you thought of another plan and hoodwinked them once again. You remember all this quite clearly, but how is it that your reason calmly accepted all the manifest absurdities and impossibilities that crowded into your dream? One of the murderers suddenly changed into a woman before your very eyes; then the woman was transformed into a hideous, cunning little dwarf; and you believed it, and accepted it all almost as a matter of course--while at the same time your intelligence seemed unusually keen, and accomplished miracles of cunning, sagacity, and logic! Why is it that when you awake to the world of realities you nearly always feel, sometimes very vividly, that the vanished dream has carried with it some enigma which you have failed to solve? You smile at the extravagance of your dream, and yet you feel that this tissue of absurdity contained some real idea, something that belongs to your true life,--something that exists, and has always existed, in your heart. You search your dream for some prophecy that you were expecting. It has left a deep impression upon you, joyful or cruel, but what it means, or what has been predicted to you in it, you can neither understand nor remember. The reading of these letters produced some such effect upon the prince. He felt, before he even opened the envelopes, that the very fact of their existence was like a nightmare. How could she ever have made up her mind to write to her? he asked himself. How could she write about that at all? And how could such a wild idea have entered her head? And yet, the strangest part of the matter was, that while he read the letters, he himself almost believed in the possibility, and even in the justification, of the idea he had thought so wild. Of course it was a mad dream, a nightmare, and yet there was something cruelly real about it. For hours he was haunted by what he had read. Several passages returned again and again to his mind, and as he brooded over them, he felt inclined to say to himself that he had foreseen and known all that was written here; it even seemed to him that he had read the whole of this some time or other, long, long ago; and all that had tormented and grieved him up to now was to be found in these old, long since read, letters. "When you open this letter" (so the first began), "look first at the signature. The signature will tell you all, so that I need explain nothing, nor attempt to justify myself. Were I in any way on a footing with you, you might be offended at my audacity; but who am I, and who are you? We are at such extremes, and I am so far removed from you, that I could not offend you if I wished to do so." Farther on, in another place, she wrote: "Do not consider my words as the sickly ecstasies of a diseased mind, but you are, in my opinion--perfection! I have seen you--I see you every day. I do not judge you; I have not weighed you in the scales of Reason and found you Perfection--it is simply an article of faith. But I must confess one sin against you--I love you. One should not love perfection. One should only look on it as perfection--yet I am in love with you. Though love equalizes, do not fear. I have not lowered you to my level, even in my most secret thoughts. I have written 'Do not fear,' as if you could fear. I would kiss your footprints if I could; but, oh! I am not putting myself on a level with you!--Look at the signature--quick, look at the signature!" "However, observe" (she wrote in another of the letters), "that although I couple you with him, yet I have not once asked you whether you love him. He fell in love with you, though he saw you but once. He spoke of you as of 'the light.' These are his own words--I heard him use them. But I understood without his saying it that you were all that light is to him. I lived near him for a whole month, and I understood then that you, too, must love him. I think of you and him as one." "What was the matter yesterday?" (she wrote on another sheet). "I passed by you, and you seemed to me to BLUSH. Perhaps it was only my fancy. If I were to bring you to the most loathsome den, and show you the revelation of undisguised vice--you should not blush. You can never feel the sense of personal affront. You may hate all who are mean, or base, or unworthy--but not for yourself--only for those whom they wrong. No one can wrong YOU. Do you know, I think you ought to love me--for you are the same in my eyes as in his-you are as light. An angel cannot hate, perhaps cannot love, either. I often ask myself--is it possible to love everybody? Indeed it is not; it is not in nature. Abstract love of humanity is nearly always love of self. But you are different. You cannot help loving all, since you can compare with none, and are above all personal offence or anger. Oh! how bitter it would be to me to know that you felt anger or shame on my account, for that would be your fall--you would become comparable at once with such as me. "Yesterday, after seeing you, I went home and thought out a picture. "Artists always draw the Saviour as an actor in one of the Gospel stories. I should do differently. I should represent Christ alone--the disciples did leave Him alone occasionally. I should paint one little child left with Him. This child has been playing about near Him, and had probably just been telling the Saviour something in its pretty baby prattle. Christ had listened to it, but was now musing--one hand reposing on the child's bright head. His eyes have a far-away expression. Thought, great as the Universe, is in them--His face is sad. The little one leans its elbow upon Christ's knee, and with its cheek resting on its hand, gazes up at Him, pondering as children sometimes do ponder. The sun is setting. There you have my picture. "You are innocent--and in your innocence lies all your perfection--oh, remember that! What is my passion to you?--you are mine now; I shall be near you all my life--I shall not live long!" At length, in the last letter of all, he found: "For Heaven's sake, don't misunderstand me! Do not think that I humiliate myself by writing thus to you, or that I belong to that class of people who take a satisfaction in humiliating themselves--from pride. I have my consolation, though it would be difficult to explain it--but I do not humiliate myself. "Why do I wish to unite you two? For your sakes or my own? For my own sake, naturally. All the problems of my life would thus be solved; I have thought so for a long time. I know that once when your sister Adelaida saw my portrait she said that such beauty could overthrow the world. But I have renounced the world. You think it strange that I should say so, for you saw me decked with lace and diamonds, in the company of drunkards and wastrels. Take no notice of that; I know that I have almost ceased to exist. God knows what it is dwelling within me now--it is not myself. I can see it every day in two dreadful eyes which are always looking at me, even when not present. These eyes are silent now, they say nothing; but I know their secret. His house is gloomy, and there is a secret in it. I am convinced that in some box he has a razor hidden, tied round with silk, just like the one that Moscow murderer had. This man also lived with his mother, and had a razor hidden away, tied round with white silk, and with this razor he intended to cut a throat. "All the while I was in their house I felt sure that somewhere beneath the floor there was hidden away some dreadful corpse, wrapped in oil-cloth, perhaps buried there by his father, who knows? Just as in the Moscow case. I could have shown you the very spot! "He is always silent, but I know well that he loves me so much that he must hate me. My wedding and yours are to be on the same day; so I have arranged with him. I have no secrets from him. I would kill him from very fright, but he will kill me first. He has just burst out laughing, and says that I am raving. He knows I am writing to you." There was much more of this delirious wandering in the letters-- one of them was very long. At last the prince came out of the dark, gloomy park, in which he had wandered about for hours just as yesterday. The bright night seemed to him to be lighter than ever. "It must be quite early," he thought. (He had forgotten his watch.) There was a sound of distant music somewhere. "Ah," he thought, "the Vauxhall! They won't be there today, of course!" At this moment he noticed that he was close to their house; he had felt that he must gravitate to this spot eventually, and, with a beating heart, he mounted the verandah steps. No one met him; the verandah was empty, and nearly pitch dark. He opened the door into the room, but it, too, was dark and empty. He stood in the middle of the room in perplexity. Suddenly the door opened, and in came Alexandra, candle in hand. Seeing the prince she stopped before him in surprise, looking at him questioningly. It was clear that she had been merely passing through the room from door to door, and had not had the remotest notion that she would meet anyone. "How did you come here?" she asked, at last. "I-I--came in--" "Mamma is not very well, nor is Aglaya. Adelaida has gone to bed, and I am just going. We were alone the whole evening. Father and Prince S. have gone to town." "I have come to you--now--to--" "Do you know what time it is?" "N--no!" "Half-past twelve. We are always in bed by one." "I-I thought it was half-past nine!" "Never mind!" she laughed, "but why didn't you come earlier? Perhaps you were expected!" "I thought" he stammered, making for the door. "Au revoir! I shall amuse them all with this story tomorrow!" He walked along the road towards his own house. His heart was beating, his thoughts were confused, everything around seemed to be part of a dream. And suddenly, just as twice already he had awaked from sleep with the same vision, that very apparition now seemed to rise up before him. The woman appeared to step out from the park, and stand in the path in front of him, as though she had been waiting for him there. He shuddered and stopped; she seized his hand and pressed it frenziedly. No, this was no apparition! There she stood at last, face to face with him, for the first time since their parting. She said something, but he looked silently back at her. His heart ached with anguish. Oh! never would he banish the recollection of this meeting with her, and he never remembered it but with the same pain and agony of mind. She went on her knees before him--there in the open road--like a madwoman. He retreated a step, but she caught his hand and kissed it, and, just as in his dream, the tears were sparkling on her long, beautiful lashes. "Get up!" he said, in a frightened whisper, raising her. "Get up at once!" "Are you happy--are you happy?" she asked. "Say this one word. Are you happy now? Today, this moment? Have you just been with her? What did she say?" She did not rise from her knees; she would not listen to him; she put her questions hurriedly, as though she were pursued. "I am going away tomorrow, as you bade me--I won't write--so that this is the last time I shall see you, the last time! This is really the LAST TIME!" "Oh, be calm--be calm! Get up!" he entreated, in despair. She gazed thirstily at him and clutched his hands. "Good-bye!" she said at last, and rose and left him, very quickly. The prince noticed that Rogojin had suddenly appeared at her side, and had taken her arm and was leading her away. "Wait a minute, prince," shouted the latter, as he went. "I shall be back in five minutes." He reappeared in five minutes as he had said. The prince was waiting for him. "I've put her in the carriage," he said; "it has been waiting round the corner there since ten o'clock. She expected that you would be with THEM all the evening. I told her exactly what you wrote me. She won't write to the girl any more, she promises; and tomorrow she will be off, as you wish. She desired to see you for the last time, although you refused, so we've been sitting and waiting on that bench till you should pass on your way home." "Did she bring you with her of her own accord?" "Of course she did!" said Rogojin, showing his teeth; "and I saw for myself what I knew before. You've read her letters, I suppose?" "Did you read them?" asked the prince, struck by the thought. "Of course--she showed them to me herself. You are thinking of the razor, eh? Ha, ha, ha!" "Oh, she is mad!" cried the prince, wringing his hands. "Who knows? Perhaps she is not so mad after all," said Rogojin, softly, as though thinking aloud. The prince made no reply. "Well, good-bye," said Rogojin. "I'm off tomorrow too, you know. Remember me kindly! By-the-by," he added, turning round sharply again, "did you answer her question just now? Are you happy, or not?" "No, no, no!" cried the prince, with unspeakable sadness. "Ha, ha! I never supposed you would say 'yes,'" cried Rogojin, laughing sardonically. And he disappeared, without looking round again. 公爵终于明白，为什么每次当他触及这三封信时他就浑身发凉，为什么他要把读信的时刻推迟到晚上。还是早晨的时候，他始终没有决心拆开这三封信中的哪一封，就在自己的沙发床上昏昏入睡，做起恶梦来，他又梦见那个“有罪的女人”向他走来。她又用那双有着长长睫毛闪闪发亮的眼睛望着他，又叫他跟她走，他又像刚才那样惊醒过来，痛苦地回忆着她的脸容。他本想立即去她那里，但他不能去；最后，几乎是在没有办法的情况下，他打开了信，读了起来。 这些信也像梦一般，有时会做一些奇怪的梦，不可能也是不自然的；当您醒来时，您会清晰地记起这些梦，并对梦里怪诞的事实感到惊异：您首先会记得，在您做梦的整个过程中理智并没有离开您；您甚至会回想起，在整个这段很长很长的时间里，您被凶手包围了，他们对您耍花招，他们对您很友好，隐瞒了自己的图谋，实际上他们已经准备好武器，他们不过是等某个信号，而您在这段时间里却巧妙而且合乎逻辑地周旋着；您还会回忆起，最后您怎么狡猾地骗过了他们，躲开了他们；后来您猜到了，他们识透了您的欺骗，只不过在您面前不露声色，装做不知道您躲在哪里；但是您更狡猾，又一次欺骗了他们，这一切您都能清晰地回忆起来。但是为什么在那当口您的理智会容忍这样显而易见是荒谬和不可能的事，让它们充斥您的梦境呢？您的一个凶手在您的眼里变成了一个女人，又从女人变成了一个又小又狡猾又坏的侏懦，而您却立即将这一切当作既成事实，几乎没有丝毫疑虑地容忍了，并恰恰是在这同时，从另一方面来说，您的理智却处于最为强烈的紧张状态，显露出非凡的力量、机智、悟性、逻辑，--这是为什么？当您从梦中醒来，已经完全进入了现实，您几乎每次都感觉到，有时怀着一股不同寻常的力量感觉到这么一种印象，您把某个您未曾解开的谜连同梦境一起留下了，--这又是为什么？您嘲笑您所做的梦的荒诞，与此同时又感觉到，在这些荒诞离奇的交织中又包含着某种思想，而这个思想已经是现实的了，是属于您的真正生活，是过去一直存在、现在也仍然存在于您心问的，您的梦似乎告诉了您某种预言式的、您所期待的新东西，您的印象是强烈的。它令人高兴或者令人痛苦，但它究竟包含着什么、告诉您什么--这一切您却是无法理解、无法记住的。 读了这几封信后几乎也是这样。但是，在还没有打开它们时公爵就感觉到，这些信存在和可能的事实本身简直就像一场恶梦。晚上他一个人徘徊的时候（有时甚至自己也不记得，他在什么地方踢囚）他间自己，她怎么有决心给她写信？她怎么能写这种事？她的头脑中怎么会产生这么失去理智的非分之想？但是这种非非之想已经在实施了，对他来说最为惊讶的是，在他看这些信时，他自己几乎相信有可能实现这一非非之想，甚至相信这种想法是有理由的。当然，这是梦，是恶梦，是失去理智。但是这里也包含着某种现实得令人难受、正确得令人痛苦的道理，这一道理为这梦，为这恶梦，为这失去理智做了辩护。一连几小时他仿佛发诸语一般对读到的信口中念念有词，不时记起其中的片断，有时停留在那些字句上，沉思良久。有时他甚至想对自己说，他早就预料到这一切，过去就预料到了。他甚至觉得，他仿佛在很久很久以前就已读到过这一切，而从那时起他一直为之忧愁、为之煎熬，为之担忧的一切，全都包含在他早已读过的这几封信中。 “当您展开这封信的时候（第一封信这样开头的），您首先会看一下暑名。署名会告诉您一切，说明一切，因为我没什么要在您面前辨白的，也没什么要向您解释清楚的、假若我多少与您一样的话，您可能还会对这种无礼而生气；但是我是谁，您又是谁？我们是如此相反的两极，我在您面前又是那样的坏，我无论如何已经不能使您生气了，甚至假如我想要那样也不行。” 下面在另一个地方她写道： “别认为我的话是一个精神病患者的病态的亢奋，但对于我来说您是完美的！我看见过您，我每天都看见您。我可不是在评论您；我不是凭理性得出您是完美的结论的；我不过是相信这点。但是在您面前我是有罪孽的：我爱您。完美可是不能爱的；对完美只能像看完美那样来看，不是吗？然而我却爱上了您。虽然爱情使人们平等，但是，请别担心，我不把您与我自己相提并论，即使在最隐秘的思想中也不这样做。我对您写： ‘请别担心；，难道您会不放心吗？……假如可以的话，我愿意吻您的脚印。哦，我跟您不可同日而语……您看署名吧，尽快看署名吧！” “然而，我发现（她在另一封信里写道），我把您与他联结起来，都一次也还没有问过，您是否爱他？他只看见您一次就爱上您了。他回忆起您犹如回忆起‘光明’；这是他自己的话，我是从他那儿听说的。但是没有这句话我也明白，对他来说您就是光明。我在他身边生活了整整一个月，这才明白，您也爱他；对我来说您与他是一回事。” “这是怎么回事（她还写道），昨天我经过您身边时，您似乎脸红了？这不可能，我只是这么觉得而已。即使把您带到最肮脏的藏垢纳污的场所，让您看赤裸棵的邪恶，您也不应该脸红；您无论如何不会因为受了屈辱而愤慨。您可能会仇恨所有卑鄙下流之徒，但不是为自己，而是为别人，为那些受到他们侮辱的人。您却不会受到任何人的侮辱。知道吗，我觉得，您甚至应当爱我。您对于我来说就像对他来说一样是光明之神，而天使是不会憎恨的，不会不爱的。我常常对自己提这样的问题：是否可以爱大家，爱所有的人，爱所有自己亲近的人？当然不能，甚至是不自然的。在抽象的爱人类中几乎总是只爱自己一个人。但是这对我们来说是不可能的，而您只是另一回事：当您不能把自己与任何人相比较的时候，当您超越任何侮辱、超越任何个人的愤恨的时候，您怎么会不爱哪怕是某个人呢？只有您：一人能无私地爱，，只有您一人能不是为了自己个人去爱，而是为了忽所爱的人去爱。哦，当我知道您因为我而感到羞耻或愤怒的时候，我是多么痛苦！这下您就完了：您一下子把自己与我相提并论了…… 昨天遇见您以后我回到家，虚构出一幅画来，画家们总是按照福音书上的故事来画基督，要是我就画成另一种样子：我要画他一个人，因为他的门徒有时是留下他一个人的。我只画一个小孩子与他在一起。孩子在他身边玩；也许，他用自己孩子的话语对他讲述什么，基督听着他，但此刻却在沉思：他的一只手不由自主地、出神地停在孩子长着浅色头发的脑袋上。他望着远处天涯，如整个世界一般宏伟的思想在他的目光中安然常驻；他的脸容是忧郁的，孩子不再作声，胳膊肘撑在他的膝盖上，一只手托住脸颊，仰若头，仪孩子们有时沉思那样若有所思地凝神望着他。夕阳西下……这就是我的画！您是纯结无暇的，您的全部完美就在这纯洁无暇中，哦。只是要记住这一点！我对您的热烈情感又关您什么事！您现在已经是我的了，我将一辈子追随您的左右……我很快就要死了。” 未了，在最后一封信中写道： “看在上帝面上，请什么也别想我；也别认为我这样给你写信是在贬低我自己，或者认为我是属于以贬低自己为乐的那种人（哪怕甚至是出于自尊而这样做）。不，我有自己的慰藉；但我很准向您讲清楚这一点。我甚至难以对自己讲清楚这一点，尽管我常为此而苦恼。但是我知道，即便是自尊心发作也不能贬低自己。但出于心灵纯洁的自我贬低我也做不到。因而我根本不是贬低自己。 为什么我希望你们结合：为你们还是为自己？当然是为自己，这样我的一切伺题都迎刃而解，我早就这样对自己说……我听说，您姐姐阿杰莱达当时曾议论过我的照片，说有这样的美貌可以翻转乾坤。但是我不要乾坤；听见我说这话，您会觉得可笑，因为您看见我听明穿着镶花边的衣服，戴着钻石首饰、跟一批酒鬼和坏蛋混在一起，您别去看这些，我几乎已经不存在了，我知道这一点：上帝知道，取代我活在我躯体上的究竟是什么。我每天在两只可怕的眼睛里看到这一点，这两只眼睛经常在望着我，甚至不在我面前时也是这样，这双眼睛现在沉默着（它们始终是沉默的），但我知道它们蕴含的秘密。他家的房子阴森，沉闷，那里也有秘密。我相信，在他的抽屉里藏着一把用绸子包起来的剃刀，就位莫斯科那个杀人犯一样；那个人也和母亲住在一幢房子里，也用丝绸包着剃刀，以便割断一条喉咙；我在他们家的时候，始终一直觉得在什么地方，在地板的哪块木板下面有个死人，可能还是他父亲藏的，盖着一块漆布，就像那个莫斯科的尸体一样，周围摆满了装着日丹诺夫防腐剂的玻璃瓶，我甚至可以指给您看在哪个角落。他老是默默无语，但是我可知道，他爱我爱得已经恨不起我来了。你们的婚礼将和我的婚礼一起进行，我跟他是这么商定的。我对他没有秘密。不然我会因恐惧而把他杀死……但是他会先杀死我的……现在他笑了起来说，我是在说呓语，他知道我在给您写信。” 在这些信里还有许多许多这样的吃语。其中一封，是第二封，用蝇头书写槽了两张大号的信纸。 最后，公爵从幽暗的公园里走了出来，像昨天一样，他在那里蹀踱良久。他觉得清彻明亮的的夜色比平时更为明亮；“难道时间还那么早？”他心里想。（他忘了带表。）他仿佛听到了远处什么地方的音乐；“大概是在车站那儿，”他又想， “当然，他们今天是不会去那里的。”刚想到这点，他看见自己已经站在他们别墅门前了；他就料到，最后他一定会来到这里的，于是，他屏息静心跨上了廊台；没有人来迎接他，廊台上空荡荡的。他等了一会，推开了去厅屋的门。“这扇门他们是从来也不关的，”他头脑中闪过这个念头，但厅屋里也空无一人，里面几乎漆黑一团。他站在屋子中间困惑不解。突然门开了，亚历山德拉·伊万诺夫娜手拿蜡烛走了进来。看见公爵在那里，她很惊讶，像是询问一般停在他面前。显然，她只是穿过这间屋子，从一扇门到另一扇门，完全没有想到会撞见什么人。 “您怎么在这里？”她终于说。 “我……顺便来……” “妈妈不大舒服，阿格拉娅也是。阿杰莱达躺下睡了，我也要去睡。今天整个晚上就我们呆在家里，爸爸和公爵在彼得堡，” “我来……我到你们这儿来！……现在……” “您知道现在几点了？” “不知道……” “１２点半。我们总在１点钟睡的。” “啊，我以为……是９点半。” “没关系！”她笑了起来，“为什么您刚才不来？也许，有人还等过您呢。” “我……以为……”他喃喃着走了。 “再见！明天我会让大家发笑的。” 他顺着绕公园的路走回家去。他的心怦抨直跳，思绪万干，他周围的一切仿佛都像梦境。突然，就像刚才他两次梦见同一个幻影醒来时一样，那个幻影又出现在他面前。还是那个女人从公园里走出来，站在他面前。就像在这里等着他似的。他颤粟了一下，停住了，她抓住他的手，紧紧握着它。“不，这不是幻影。” 她终于面对面站在他面前，这是他们分离后第一次见面，她对他说了些什么话，但他只是默默望着她；他的心百感交集，痛苦得发出了呻吟。呵，后来他永远也忘不了跟她的这次见面，并总是怀着同样的痛苦回忆起当时的情景，她发狂似的一下子在马路中间跪倒在他面前；他吓得后退了一步，而她抓住他的手，吻它，就像刚才梦中那样，她那长长的睫毛上此刻正闪烁着泪花。 “起来，起来！”他一边扶她起来，一边惊恐地喃喃说，“快起来！” “你幸福吗？幸福吗？”她连连问，“你只要对我说一句活，你现在幸福吗？今天，此刻？在她身边？她说了什么？” 她没有起来，她不听公爵的；她间得仓促，说得也急促，犹如有人在追赶她一样。 “我将照你吩咐的那样明天就走。我不再……我现在可是最后一次见你了，最后一次！现在可完全是最后一次了！” “镇静些，起来吧！”他绝望地说。 她贪婪地盯着他，仍紧紧抓住他的手。 “别了！”她最后说着，站起身就很快地离开他，几乎是跑着离去。公爵看见，在她身旁突然出现了罗戈任，他扶着她的胳膊带她走开。 “等一等，公爵，”罗戈任喊道，“过５分钟我会回来一下的。” 过５分钟他真的来了；公爵在原地等着他。 “我把她安顿上了马车，”他说，“１０点钟起马车就在那边角落上等着，她就知道你会整个晚上都呆在那一位身边。刚才你给我写的那些话，我准确无误地转告了。她再也不会给那一位写信了；她许诺的；按照你的愿望，明天她就离开这里。她想最后见你一面，虽然你拒绝了；于是我们就在这个地方等候你回来，就在那里，在那张长椅上。” “是她自己带你一起来的？” “那又怎么啦？”罗戈任咧嘴笑着说，“我看见的是我早已知道的事。看来，你看过信了？” “难道你真的看过这些信？”公爵问道，这个念头使他大为吃惊。 “这还用说；所有的信她自己都给我看过。你记得有关剃刀那一段话吗，嘻嘻！” “真是个疯子！”公爵扳捏着双手嚷了起来。 “谁知道那回事，也许不是，”罗戈任似是自言自语轻轻地说。 公爵没有回答。 “好，告辞了，”罗戈任说，“要知道明天我也走，有什么对不起的地方，请原谅！啊，兄弟，”他很快又转过身来补充说，“你干嘛什么也不回答她？‘你到底幸福不幸福？’” “不，不，不！”公爵无限悲痛地喊道。 “还会说‘是的’吗？”罗戈任狞笑着，头也不回地走了。

Part 3 Chapter 9 ARRIVED at her house, Lizabetha Prokofievna paused in the first room. She could go no farther, and subsided on to a couch quite exhausted; too feeble to remember so much as to ask the prince to take a seat. This was a large reception-room, full of flowers, and with a glass door leading into the garden. Alexandra and Adelaida came in almost immediately, and looked inquiringly at the prince and their mother. The girls generally rose at about nine in the morning in the country; Aglaya, of late, had been in the habit of getting up rather earlier and having a walk in the garden, but not at seven o'clock; about eight or a little later was her usual time. Lizabetha Prokofievna, who really had not slept all night, rose at about eight on purpose to meet Aglaya in the garden and walk with her; but she could not find her either in the garden or in her own room. This agitated the old lady considerably; and she awoke her other daughters. Next, she learned from the maid that Aglaya had gone into the park before seven o'clock. The sisters made a joke of Aglaya's last freak, and told their mother that if she went into the park to look for her, Aglaya would probably be very angry with her, and that she was pretty sure to be sitting reading on the green bench that she had talked of two or three days since, and about which she had nearly quarrelled with Prince S., who did not see anything particularly lovely in it. Arrived at the rendezvous of the prince and her daughter, and hearing the strange words of the latter, Lizabetha Prokofievna had been dreadfully alarmed, for many reasons. However, now that she had dragged the prince home with her, she began to feel a little frightened at what she had undertaken. Why should not Aglaya meet the prince in the park and have a talk with him, even if such a meeting should be by appointment? "Don't suppose, prince," she began, bracing herself up for the effort, "don't suppose that I have brought you here to ask questions. After last night, I assure you, I am not so exceedingly anxious to see you at all; I could have postponed the pleasure for a long while." She paused. "But at the same time you would be very glad to know how I happened to meet Aglaya Ivanovna this morning?" The prince finished her speech for her with the utmost composure. "Well, what then? Supposing I should like to know?" cried Lizabetha Prokofievna, blushing. "I'm sure I am not afraid of plain speaking. I'm not offending anyone, and I never wish to, and--" "Pardon me, it is no offence to wish to know this; you are her mother. We met at the green bench this morning, punctually at seven o'clock,--according to an agreement made by Aglaya Ivanovna with myself yesterday. She said that she wished to see me and speak to me about something important. We met and conversed for an hour about matters concerning Aglaya Ivanovna herself, and that's all." "Of course it is all, my friend. I don't doubt you for a moment," said Lizabetha Prokofievna with dignity. "Well done, prince, capital!" cried Aglaya, who entered the room at this moment. "Thank you for assuming that I would not demean myself with lies. Come, is that enough, mamma, or do you intend to put any more questions?" "You know I have never needed to blush before you, up to this day, though perhaps you would have been glad enough to make me," said Lizabetha Prokofievna,--with majesty. "Good-bye, prince; forgive me for bothering you. I trust you will rest assured of my unalterable esteem for you." The prince made his bows and retired at once. Alexandra and Adelaida smiled and whispered to each other, while Lizabetha Prokofievna glared severely at them. "We are only laughing at the prince's beautiful bows, mamma," said Adelaida. "Sometimes he bows just like a meal-sack, but to-day he was like--like Evgenie Pavlovitch!" "It is the HEART which is the best teacher of refinement and dignity, not the dancing-master," said her mother, sententiously, and departed upstairs to her own room, not so much as glancing at Aglaya. When the prince reached home, about nine o'clock, he found Vera Lebedeff and the maid on the verandah. They were both busy trying to tidy up the place after last night's disorderly party. "Thank goodness, we've just managed to finish it before you came in!" said Vera, joyfully. "Good-morning! My head whirls so; I didn't sleep all night. I should like to have a nap now." "Here, on the verandah? Very well, I'll tell them all not to come and wake you. Papa has gone out somewhere." The servant left the room. Vera was about to follow her, but returned and approached the prince with a preoccupied air. "Prince!" she said, "have pity on that poor boy; don't turn him out today." "Not for the world; he shall do just as he likes." "He won't do any harm now; and--and don't be too severe with him," "Oh dear no! Why--" "And--and you won't LAUGH at him? That's the chief thing." "Oh no! Never." "How foolish I am to speak of such things to a man like you," said Vera, blushing. "Though you DO look tired," she added, half turning away," your eyes are so splendid at this moment--so full of happiness." "Really?" asked the prince, gleefully, and he laughed in delight. But Vera, simple-minded little girl that she was (just like a boy, in fact), here became dreadfully confused, of a sudden, and ran hastily out of the room, laughing and blushing. "What a dear little thing she is," thought the prince, and immediately forgot all about her. He walked to the far end of the verandah, where the sofa stood, with a table in front of it. Here he sat down and covered his face with his hands, and so remained for ten minutes. Suddenly he put his hand in his coat-pocket and hurriedly produced three letters. But the door opened again, and out came Colia. The prince actually felt glad that he had been interrupted,--and might return the letters to his pocket. He was glad of the respite. "Well," said Colia, plunging in medias res, as he always did, "here's a go! What do you think of Hippolyte now? Don't respect him any longer, eh?" "Why not? But look here, Colia, I'm tired; besides, the subject is too melancholy to begin upon again. How is he, though?" "Asleep--he'll sleep for a couple of hours yet. I quite understand--you haven't slept--you walked about the park, I know. Agitation--excitement--all that sort of thing--quite natural, too!" "How do you know I walked in the park and didn't sleep at home?" "Vera just told me. She tried to persuade me not to come, but I couldn't help myself, just for one minute. I have been having my turn at the bedside for the last two hours; Kostia Lebedeff is there now. Burdovsky has gone. Now, lie down, prince, make yourself comfortable, and sleep well! I'm awfully impressed, you know." "Naturally, all this--" "No, no, I mean with the 'explanation,' especially that part of it where he talks about Providence and a future life. There is a gigantic thought there." The prince gazed affectionately at Colia, who, of course, had come in solely for the purpose of talking about this "gigantic thought." "But it is not any one particular thought, only; it is the general circumstances of the case. If Voltaire had written this now, or Rousseau, I should have just read it and thought it remarkable, but should not have been so IMPRESSED by it. But a man who knows for certain that he has but ten minutes to live and can talk like that--why--it's--it's PRIDE, that is! It is really a most extraordinary, exalted assertion of personal dignity, it's--it's DEFIANT! What a GIGANTIC strength of will, eh? And to accuse a fellow like that of not putting in the cap on purpose; it's base and mean! You know he deceived us last night, the cunning rascal. I never packed his bag for him, and I never saw his pistol. He packed it himself. But he put me off my guard like that, you see. Vera says you are going to let him stay on; I swear there's no danger, especially as we are always with him." "Who was by him at night?" "I, and Burdovsky, and Kostia Lebedeff. Keller stayed a little while, and then went over to Lebedeff's to sleep. Ferdishenko slept at Lebedeff's, too; but he went away at seven o'clock. My father is always at Lebedeff's; but he has gone out just now. I dare say Lebedeff will be coming in here directly; he has been looking for you; I don't know what he wants. Shall we let him in or not, if you are asleep? I'm going to have a nap, too. By-the- by, such a curious thing happened. Burdovsky woke me at seven, and I met my father just outside the room, so drunk, he didn't even know me. He stood before me like a log, and when he recovered himself, asked hurriedly how Hippolyte was. 'Yes,' he said, when I told him, 'that's all very well, but I REALLY came to warn you that you must be very careful what you say before Ferdishenko.' Do you follow me, prince?" "Yes. Is it really so? However, it's all the same to us, of course." "Of course it is; we are not a secret society; and that being the case, it is all the more curious that the general should have been on his way to wake me up in order to tell me this." "Ferdishenko has gone, you say?" "Yes, he went at seven o'clock. He came into the room on his way out; I was watching just then. He said he was going to spend 'the rest of the night' at Wilkin's; there's a tipsy fellow, a friend of his, of that name. Well, I'm off. Oh, here's Lebedeff himself! The prince wants to go to sleep, Lukian Timofeyovitch, so you may just go away again." "One moment, my dear prince, just one. I must absolutely speak to you about something which is most grave," said Lebedeff, mysteriously and solemnly, entering the room with a bow and looking extremely important. He had but just returned, and carried his hat in his hand. He looked preoccupied and most unusually dignified. The prince begged him to take a chair. "I hear you have called twice; I suppose you are still worried about yesterday's affair." "What, about that boy, you mean? Oh dear no, yesterday my ideas were a little--well--mixed. Today, I assure you, I shall not oppose in the slightest degree any suggestions it may please you to make." "What's up with you this morning, Lebedeff? You look so important and dignified, and you choose your words so carefully," said the prince, smiling. "Nicolai Ardalionovitch!" said Lebedeff, in a most amiable tone of voice, addressing the boy. "As I have a communication to make to the prince which concerns only myself--" "Of course, of course, not my affair. All right," said Colia, and away he went. "I love that boy for his perception," said Lebedeff, looking after him. "My dear prince," he continued, "I have had a terrible misfortune, either last night or early this morning. I cannot tell the exact time." "What is it?" "I have lost four hundred roubles out of my side pocket! They're gone!" said Lebedeff, with a sour smile. "You've lost four hundred roubles? Oh! I'm sorry for that." "Yes, it is serious for a poor man who lives by his toil." "Of course, of course! How was it?" "Oh, the wine is to blame, of course. I confess to you, prince, as I would to Providence itself. Yesterday I received four hundred roubles from a debtor at about five in the afternoon, and came down here by train. I had my purse in my pocket. When I changed, I put the money into the pocket of my plain clothes, intending to keep it by me, as I expected to have an applicant for it in the evening." "It's true then, Lebedeff, that you advertise to lend money on gold or silver articles?" "Yes, through an agent. My own name doesn't appear. I have a large family, you see, and at a small percentage--" "Quite so, quite so. I only asked for information--excuse the question. Go on." "Well, meanwhile that sick boy was brought here, and those guests came in, and we had tea, and--well, we made merry--to my ruin! Hearing of your birthday afterwards, and excited with the circumstances of the evening, I ran upstairs and changed my plain clothes once more for my uniform [Civil Service clerks in Russia wear uniform.]--you must have noticed I had my uniform on all the evening? Well, I forgot the money in the pocket of my old coat-- you know when God will ruin a man he first of all bereaves him of his senses--and it was only this morning at half-past seven that I woke up and grabbed at my coat pocket, first thing. The pocket was empty--the purse gone, and not a trace to be found!" "Dear me! This is very unpleasant!" "Unpleasant! Indeed it is. You have found a very appropriate expression," said Lebedeff, politely, but with sarcasm. "But what's to be done? It's a serious matter," said the prince, thoughtfully. "Don't you think you may have dropped it out of your pocket whilst intoxicated?" "Certainly. Anything is possible when one is intoxicated, as you neatly express it, prince. But consider--if I, intoxicated or not, dropped an object out of my pocket on to the ground, that object ought to remain on the ground. Where is the object, then?" "Didn't you put it away in some drawer, perhaps?" "I've looked everywhere, and turned out everything." "I confess this disturbs me a good deal. Someone must have picked it up, then." "Or taken it out of my pocket--two alternatives." "It is very distressing, because WHO--? That's the question!" "Most undoubtedly, excellent prince, you have hit it--that is the very question. How wonderfully you express the exact situation in a few words!" "Come, come, Lebedeff, no sarcasm! It's a serious--" "Sarcasm!" cried Lebedeff, wringing his hands. "All right, all right, I'm not angry. I'm only put out about this. Whom do you suspect?" "That is a very difficult and complicated question. I cannot suspect the servant, for she was in the kitchen the whole evening, nor do I suspect any of my children." "I should think not. Go on." "Then it must be one of the guests." "Is such a thing possible?" "Absolutely and utterly impossible--and yet, so it must be. But one thing I am sure of, if it be a theft, it was committed, not in the evening when we were all together, but either at night or early in the morning; therefore, by one of those who slept here. Burdovsky and Colia I except, of course. They did not even come into my room." "Yes, or even if they had! But who did sleep with you?" "Four of us, including myself, in two rooms. The general, myself, Keller, and Ferdishenko. One of us four it must have been. I don't suspect myself, though such cases have been known." "Oh! DO go on, Lebedeff! Don't drag it out so." "Well, there are three left, then--Keller firstly. He is a drunkard to begin with, and a liberal (in the sense of other people's pockets), otherwise with more of the ancient knight about him than of the modern liberal. He was with the sick man at first, but came over afterwards because there was no place to lie down in the room and the floor was so hard." "You suspect him?" "I DID suspect him. When I woke up at half-past seven and tore my hair in despair for my loss and carelessness, I awoke the general, who was sleeping the sleep of innocence near me. Taking into consideration the sudden disappearance of Ferdishenko, which was suspicious in itself, we decided to search Keller, who was lying there sleeping like a top. Well, we searched his clothes thoroughly, and not a farthing did we find; in fact, his pockets all had holes in them. We found a dirty handkerchief, and a love- letter from some scullery-maid. The general decided that he was innocent. We awoke him for further inquiries, and had the greatest difficulty in making him understand what was up. He opened his mouth and stared--he looked so stupid and so absurdly innocent. It wasn't Keller." "Oh, I'm so glad!" said the prince, joyfully. "I was so afraid." "Afraid! Then you had some grounds for supposing he might be the culprit?" said Lebedeff, frowning. "Oh no--not a bit! It was foolish of me to say I was afraid! Don't repeat it please, Lebedeff, don't tell anyone I said that!" "My dear prince! your words lie in the lowest depth of my heart-- it is their tomb!" said Lebedeff, solemnly, pressing his hat to the region of his heart. "Thanks; very well. Then I suppose it's Ferdishenko; that is, I mean, you suspect Ferdishenko?" "Whom else?" said Lebedeff, softly, gazing intently into the prince s face. "Of course--quite so, whom else? But what are the proofs?" "We have evidence. In the first place, his mysterious disappearance at seven o'clock, or even earlier." "I know, Colia told me that he had said he was off to--I forget the name, some friend of his, to finish the night." "H'm! then Colia has spoken to you already?" "Not about the theft." "He does not know of it; I have kept it a secret. Very well, Ferdishenko went off to Wilkin's. That is not so curious in itself, but here the evidence opens out further. He left his address, you see, when he went. Now prince, consider, why did he leave his address? Why do you suppose he went out of his way to tell Colia that he had gone to Wilkin's? Who cared to know that he was going to Wilkin's? No, no! prince, this is finesse, thieves' finesse! This is as good as saying, 'There, how can I be a thief when I leave my address? I'm not concealing my movements as a thief would.' Do you understand, prince?" "Oh yes, but that is not enough." "Second proof. The scent turns out to be false, and the address given is a sham. An hour after--that is at about eight, I went to Wilkin's myself, and there was no trace of Ferdishenko. The maid did tell me, certainly, that an hour or so since someone had been hammering at the door, and had smashed the bell; she said she would not open the door because she didn't want to wake her master; probably she was too lazy to get up herself. Such phenomena are met with occasionally!" "But is that all your evidence? It is not enough!" "Well, prince, whom are we to suspect, then? Consider!" said Lebedeff with almost servile amiability, smiling at the prince. There was a look of cunning in his eyes, however. "You should search your room and all the cupboards again," said the prince, after a moment or two of silent reflection. "But I have done so, my dear prince!" said Lebedeff, more sweetly than ever. "H'm! why must you needs go up and change your coat like that?" asked the prince, banging the table with his fist, in annoyance. "Oh, don't be so worried on my account, prince! I assure you I am not worth it! At least, not I alone. But I see you are suffering on behalf of the criminal too, for wretched Ferdishenko, in fact!" "Of course you have given me a disagreeable enough thing to think about," said the prince, irritably, "but what are you going to do, since you are so sure it was Ferdishenko?" "But who else COULD it be, my very dear prince?" repeated Lebedeff, as sweet as sugar again. "If you don't wish me to suspect Mr. Burdovsky?" "Of course not." "Nor the general? Ha, ha, ha!" "Nonsense!" said the prince, angrily, turning round upon him. "Quite so, nonsense! Ha, ha, ha! dear me! He did amuse me, did the general! We went off on the hot scent to Wilkin's together, you know; but I must first observe that the general was even more thunderstruck than I myself this morning, when I awoke him after discovering the theft; so much so that his very face changed--he grew red and then pale, and at length flew into a paroxysm of such noble wrath that I assure you I was quite surprised! He is a most generous-hearted man! He tells lies by the thousands, I know, but it is merely a weakness; he is a man of the highest feelings; a simple-minded man too, and a man who carries the conviction of innocence in his very appearance. I love that man, sir; I may have told you so before; it is a weakness of mine. Well--he suddenly stopped in the middle of the road, opened out his coat and bared his breast. "Search me," he says, "you searched Keller; why don't you search me too? It is only fair!" says he. And all the while his legs and hands were trembling with anger, and he as white as a sheet all over! So I said to him, "Nonsense, general; if anybody but yourself had said that to me, I'd have taken my head, my own head, and put it on a large dish and carried it round to anyone who suspected you; and I should have said: 'There, you see that head? It's my head, and I'll go bail with that head for him! Yes, and walk through the fire for him, too. There,' says I, 'that's how I'd answer for you, general!' Then he embraced me, in the middle of the street, and hugged me so tight (crying over me all the while) that I coughed fit to choke! 'You are the one friend left to me amid all my misfortunes,' says he. Oh, he's a man of sentiment, that! He went on to tell me a story of how he had been accused, or suspected, of stealing five hundred thousand roubles once, as a young man; and how, the very next day, he had rushed into a burning, blazing house and saved the very count who suspected him, and Nina Alexandrovna (who was then a young girl), from a fiery death. The count embraced him, and that was how he came to marry Nina Alexandrovna, he said. As for the money, it was found among the ruins next day in an English iron box with a secret lock; it had got under the floor somehow, and if it had not been for the fire it would never have been found! The whole thing is, of course, an absolute fabrication, though when he spoke of Nina Alexandrovna he wept! She's a grand woman, is Nina Alexandrovna, though she is very angry with me!" "Are you acquainted with her?" "Well, hardly at all. I wish I were, if only for the sake of justifying myself in her eyes. Nina Alexandrovna has a grudge against me for, as she thinks, encouraging her husband in drinking; whereas in reality I not only do not encourage him, but I actually keep him out of harm's way, and out of bad company. Besides, he's my friend, prince, so that I shall not lose sight of him, again. Where he goes, I go. He's quite given up visiting the captain's widow, though sometimes he thinks sadly of her, especially in the morning, when he's putting on his boots. I don't know why it's at that time. But he has no money, and it's no use his going to see her without. Has he borrowed any money from you, prince?" "No, he has not." "Ah, he's ashamed to! He MEANT to ask you, I know, for he said so. I suppose he thinks that as you gave him some once (you remember), you would probably refuse if he asked you again." "Do you ever give him money?" "Prince! Money! Why I would give that man not only my money, but my very life, if he wanted it. Well, perhaps that's exaggeration; not life, we'll say, but some illness, a boil or a bad cough, or anything of that sort, I would stand with pleasure, for his sake; for I consider him a great man fallen--money, indeed!" "H'm, then you DO give him money?" "N-no, I have never given him money, and he knows well that I will never give him any; because I am anxious to keep him out of intemperate ways. He is going to town with me now; for you must know I am off to Petersburg after Ferdishenko, while the scent is hot; I'm certain he is there. I shall let the general go one way, while I go the other; we have so arranged matters in order to pop out upon Ferdishenko, you see, from different sides. But I am going to follow that naughty old general and catch him, I know where, at a certain widow's house; for I think it will be a good lesson, to put him to shame by catching him with the widow." "Oh, Lebedeff, don't, don't make any scandal about it!" said the prince, much agitated, and speaking in a low voice. "Not for the world, not for the world! I merely wish to make him ashamed of himself. Oh, prince, great though this misfortune be to myself, I cannot help thinking of his morals! I have a great favour to ask of you, esteemed prince; I confess that it is the chief object of my visit. You know the Ivolgins, you have even lived in their house; so if you would lend me your help, honoured prince, in the general's own interest and for his good." Lebedeff clasped his hands in supplication. "What help do you want from me? You may be certain that I am most anxious to understand you, Lebedeff." "I felt sure of that, or I should not have come to you. We might manage it with the help of Nina Alexandrovna, so that he might be closely watched in his own house. Unfortunately I am not on terms ... otherwise ... but Nicolai Ardalionovitch, who adores you with all his youthful soul, might help, too." "No, no! Heaven forbid that we should bring Nina Alexandrovna into this business! Or Colia, either. But perhaps I have not yet quite understood you, Lebedeff?" Lebedeff made an impatient movement. "But there is nothing to understand! Sympathy and tenderness, that is all--that is all our poor invalid requires! You will permit me to consider him an invalid?" "Yes, it shows delicacy and intelligence on your part." "I will explain my idea by a practical example, to make it clearer. You know the sort of man he is. At present his only failing is that he is crazy about that captain's widow, and he cannot go to her without money, and I mean to catch him at her house today--for his own good; but supposing it was not only the widow, but that he had committed a real crime, or at least some very dishonourable action (of which he is, of course, incapable), I repeat that even in that case, if he were treated with what I may call generous tenderness, one could get at the whole truth, for he is very soft-hearted! Believe me, he would betray himself before five days were out; he would burst into tears, and make a clean breast of the matter; especially if managed with tact, and if you and his family watched his every step, so to speak. Oh, my dear prince," Lebedeff added most emphatically, "I do not positively assert that he has ... I am ready, as the saying is, to shed my last drop of blood for him this instant; but you will admit that debauchery, drunkenness, and the captain's widow, all these together may lead him very far." "I am, of course, quite ready to add my efforts to yours in such a case," said the prince, rising; "but I confess, Lebedeff, that I am terribly perplexed. Tell me, do you still think ... plainly, you say yourself that you suspect Mr. Ferdishenko?" Lebedeff clasped his hands once more. "Why, who else could I possibly suspect? Who else, most outspoken prince?" he replied, with an unctuous smile. Muishkin frowned, and rose from his seat. "You see, Lebedeff, a mistake here would be a dreadful thing. This Ferdishenko, I would not say a word against him, of course; but, who knows? Perhaps it really was he? I mean he really does seem to be a more likely man than... than any other." Lebedeff strained his eyes and ears to take in what the prince was saying. The latter was frowning more and more, and walking excitedly up and down, trying not to look at Lebedeff. "You see," he said, "I was given to understand that Ferdishenko was that sort of man,--that one can't say everything before him. One has to take care not to say too much, you understand? I say this to prove that he really is, so to speak, more likely to have done this than anyone else, eh? You understand? The important thing is, not to make a mistake." "And who told you this about Ferdishenko?" "Oh, I was told. Of course I don't altogether believe it. I am very sorry that I should have had to say this, because I assure you I don't believe it myself; it is all nonsense, of course. It was stupid of me to say anything about it." "You see, it is very important, it is most important to know where you got this report from," said Lebedeff, excitedly. He had risen from his seat, and was trying to keep step with the prince, running after him, up and down. "Because look here, prince, I don't mind telling you now that as we were going along to Wilkin's this morning, after telling me what you know about the fire, and saving the count and all that, the general was pleased to drop certain hints to the same effect about Ferdishenko, but so vaguely and clumsily that I thought better to put a few questions to him on the matter, with the result that I found the whole thing was an invention of his excellency's own mind. Of course, he only lies with the best intentions; still, he lies. But, such being the case, where could you have heard the same report? It was the inspiration of the moment with him, you understand, so who could have told YOU? It is an important question, you see!" "It was Colia told me, and his father told HIM at about six this morning. They met at the threshold, when Colia was leaving the room for something or other." The prince told Lebedeff all that Colia had made known to himself, in detail. "There now, that's what we may call SCENT!" said Lebedeff, rubbing his hands and laughing silently. "I thought it must be so, you see. The general interrupted his innocent slumbers, at six o'clock, in order to go and wake his beloved son, and warn him of the dreadful danger of companionship with Ferdishenko. Dear me! what a dreadfully dangerous man Ferdishenko must be, and what touching paternal solicitude, on the part of his excellency, ha! ha! ha!" "Listen, Lebedeff," began the prince, quite overwhelmed; "DO act quietly--don't make a scandal, Lebedeff, I ask you--I entreat you! No one must know--NO ONE, mind! In that case only, I will help you." "Be assured, most honourable, most worthy of princes--be assured that the whole matter shall be buried within my heart!" cried Lebedeff, in a paroxysm of exaltation. "I'd give every drop of my blood... Illustrious prince, I am a poor wretch in soul and spirit, but ask the veriest scoundrel whether he would prefer to deal with one like himself, or with a noble-hearted man like you, and there is no doubt as to his choice! He'll answer that he prefers the noble-hearted man--and there you have the triumph of virtue! Au revoir, honoured prince! You and I together--softly! softly!" 走进自己的家门，叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜在第一个房间停下了，她不能再往前走，便坐到沙发床上。她完全筋疲力尽了，甚至忘了请公爵坐。这是一间相当大的堂屋、中间放苦一张园桌，有坠炉，靠窗的搁架上放着许多花，后面有一扇玻璃门通向花园。阿杰莱达和亚历山德拉立即走了进来，疑问和困惑地望着公爵和母亲。 小姐们在别墅通常在９点左右起床；只有阿格拉娅在最近两三天里起得稍早些并去花园散步，但是毕竟也不是７点，而是８点或者再晚些。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫挪因为各种各样的疑虑不安确实彻夜未眠，在８点左右就起床了，有意想在花园里遇见阿格拉娅，因为以为她已经起床了；可是无论是在花园还是在卧室郁没有找到她。这下她可完全着了慌，就把两个大女儿叫回。“从女仆那里她们获悉，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫闪还在６点多的时候就去了公园。小姐们嘲笑她们这个好发奇想的妹妹又冒出新的怪念来。便向妈因指出，如果她到公园去找她，阿格拉娅大概又会生气的，还说，现在她一定拿音书坐在绿色长椅上，还有三天前她说起过这张长椅，为此差点与ω公爵吵嘴，因为ω公爵认为这张长椅的位置并没有什么特别的地方。现在叶莉扎维浴·普罗科菲耶夫问回上了女儿的约会。听见了她所说的奇怪的活，不由得惊恐万分，这里有诸多原因，但是眼下把公爵带了来，她倒又为自己生出事来感到胆怯，因为“为什么阿格拉娅不能在公园里与公爵见面和谈话呢？甚至，说到底，假如这是他们事先讲好的约会，那又怎样呢？” “爵爷，您别以为，”她终于壮着胆说，“我把您拖到这儿来是要审问您……亲爱的，在发生了昨天晚上这种事后，本来我也许会很长时间不愿意见你……” 她稍稍停顿了一下。 “但终究您很想知道，今天我怎么跟阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜见面的？”公爵相当平静地接着她的活把话说完。 “那好吧，我是想知道！”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜马上怒气勃发，“我不怕说真话。因为我没有委屈任何人，也不想委屈任何人……” “哪会呢，想知道是自然的事，不存在委屈谁这一点；您是母亲嘛。我今天早晨７点正在绿色长椅那儿会见阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜，是由于她昨天邀请了我。咋晚她用一张字条告诉我，她要见我并有要事跟我谈。我们见了面，谈了整整一小时，全是涉及阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜个人的事，这就是全部情况。” “当然，是全部情况，爵爷、毫无疑问就是这些情况，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜带着一副尊严的神情说。 “好极了，公爵！”阿格拉娅突然走进房间说，“我衷心感谢您认为我不会低贱到撒谎。妈妈，您够了吧、或是还想审问？” “你知道，至今还没有什么事使我碍在你面前感到脸红……虽然你可能高兴看到那样，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜用教训的口气回答说，“再见，公爵；原谅我打扰了您。我希望，您依然相信我对您的尊敬是永远不变的。” 公爵立即朝两边行礼告辞，走了出来。亚历山德拉和阿杰莱达微微一笑，窃窃私议着什么。叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜严厉地看了她们一眼。 “我们只是觉得好笑，妈妈，”阿杰莱达笑起来说，“公爵行礼的样子这么潇洒，有时候却完全笨拙得很，而现在一下子就像……就像叶甫盖尼·帕夫雷奇了。” “彬彬有礼和尊严体面是自己的心灵而不是舞蹈老师教出来的，”叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜讪讪地说完话，就上自己楼去了，对阿格拉娅连看都不看一眼。 公爵回到自己住处已经９点左右了，在露台上遇见了维拉·鲁基扬诺夫娜和女仆，她们正在一起收拾、打扫昨晚留下的杂乱无章的露台。 “谢天谢地，我们总算在您来之前收拾好了！”维拉高兴地说。 “您好，我有点头晕；我没有睡好；我想睡觉。” “像昨天一样，就睡这儿露台上？好。我去对大家说，让他们别吵醒您。爸爸不知去哪里了。” 女仆走出去了，维拉本来也要跟在她后面走的，但又回过来，忧心忡忡地走到公爵跟前。 “公爵，您就可怜可怜这个……不幸的人吧，今天别赶他走。” “我绝不会赶他，随他自己怎么样。” “他现在什么也做不了，所以……您对他别太严厉。” “哦，不会的，何必呢？” “还有……您别笑他；这是最主要的。” “哦，绝对不会的！” “我真蠢，对您这样的人说这种话，”维拉的脸红了，“虽然您倦了，”她半转过身子准备走开，笑起来说，“可是此刻您的眼睛多么可爱……多么幸福。” “难道还幸福？”公爵生气勃勃地间，并高兴地大笑起来。” 但是像男孩一样天真纯朴、不拘礼节的维拉，突然不知怎么的变得不好意思起来，脸也更红了，仍然笑着，急匆匆走出了房间。 “多么……可爱……”公爵想。但立即就忘了她。他走到露台一角，那儿有一张沙发躺椅，躺椅前有一张茶几，他坐下来，双手捂着脸坐了约１０分钟；突然急忙和不安地把手伸进侧袋，摸出了三封信。 但是门又开了，科利亚走了进来。公爵的手很高兴又得把信放回到口袋里和可以捱过一段时光。 “嗨，真是一桩事件！”科利亚说着，就在沙发躺椅上坐下，像所有他这样的少年一样，直截了当地就切入话题，“现在您怎么看待伊波利特，不会尊重他了吧？” “为什么呢……不过，科利亚，我很疲倦了……而且再来开始谈这一切，太使人忧郁了……但是、他怎么样？” “在睡，还能睡两小时。我明白；您没在家里睡觉；在公园里徘徊……当然，心情激动……这还用说。” “您怎么知道我在公园里徘徊，不在家里睡觉？” “维拉刚才说的。她劝我别进来。我忍不住，耽一会儿。这两个小时我在床边值班；现在我让科斯佳·列别杰夫替班。布尔多夫斯基已经走了。所以，公爵，您就睡吧，祝您晚……日，祝您日安！只不过，您要知道，我非常惊诧！” “当然……所有这一切……” “不，公爵，不；我感到谅诧的是《自白》。主要是他讲到幽灵和未来生命的那个地方，这里面含着一个伟--大--的思想！” 公爵亲切地望着科利亚，他来的目的当然是想尽快谈谈这个伟大的思想。 “但是，主要的，主要的不是一种思想，而是整个情境！如果伏尔泰、卢梭、普鲁东写了这份东西，我会去读，会发觉新思想，但不会惊诧到这种程度，但是，一个确实知道自己只能活１０分钟的人说这一番话，这可是令人骄傲的！这可是个人人格独立的最高表现，这可是意味着直面勇对人生……不，这是伟大的精神力量！在这之后断定他故意不放上火帽，这就太卑下、太不自然！可是您要知道，昨天他们是欺骗了大家，耍了个花招：我根本没有跟他一起把东西装进旅行包，也从未见过手熗；是他自己收拾东西的，因此他一下子把我弄糊涂了。维拉说，您留他在这儿住；我起誓，不会有危险，何况我们大家都寸步不离守着他。” “昨天夜里你们中谁在那里？” “我，科斯佳·列别杰夫，布尔多夫斯墓；凯勒尔稍稍耽了一会，后来就到列别杰夫那儿睡觉去了，因为我们那里没有床钠好睡。费尔迪先科也睡在列别杰夫那里，７点钟就走了。将军总是在列别杰夫那儿的，现在也走了……列别杰夫可能马上就会到您这儿来；不知道有什么事，他在找您，问过两次了。如果您现在躺下回的话，要不要放他进来？我也要去睡了。啊，对了，我想对您说件事；刚才将军让我吃了一惊：６点多时布尔多夫斯基叫醒我去值班，甚至几乎是６点钟的时候；我出去了一会，突然遇见了将军，而且还醉得到了不认识我的地步：像根木柱子似的站在我面前；刚清醒过来就冲着我问：‘病人怎么样了？我来是打听病人槽况的……，我向他报告了，嗨，如此这般等等。‘这一切很好，’他说，‘但我是，我起早，主要是为了警告你；我有理由认为，当着费尔迪先科的面不能什么话都说，应该有所克制。’您明白吗，公爵？” “难道有这样的事？不过……对我们来说反正无所谓。” “是的，没有疑问，这无所谓，我们不是共济会会员！因此我甚至感到奇怪，将军竞为此而特意夜里来叫醒我。” “您说，费尔迪先科走了，是吗？” “７点钟走的；顺便到我这儿来了一下，我在值班！他说，他去维尔金那里睡个足。维尔金是个十足的酒鬼。好了，我走了：瞧，鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇来了……公爵想睡觉，鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇；往回走！” “仅仅耽１分钟，我深深敬重的公爵，有件在我看来有点重要的事，”进来的列别杰夫拖长了声音，用一种洞察一切的口吻轻声说着，并且庄重地鞠了个躬。他刚回来，甚至还未及回自己房间，因此还拿着帽子在乎中，他的脸流露出忧虑，还带着特别的不同寻常的自尊神情，。公爵请他坐下。 “您两次问起过我？大概，您始终为昨晚的事感到不安……” “公爵，您是说为昨天这男孩的事？哦，不；昨天我的思想很紊乱……但是今天我已经不打算同您的意见争执了，无论在什么方面。” “争……您怎么说的？” “我说：争执，是个法语词，像许多其他词一样，已经进入我们俄语了，但我并不特别主张用这个词。” “列别杰夫，您今天怎么这样一本正经，循规蹈矩，说起话来咬文嚼字的，”公爵微微一笑说。 “尼古拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，”列别杰夫几乎用一种使人怜悯的声音对科利亚说，“我有一件事要告诉公爵，涉及到本人……” “哦，对，当然，当然，这不关我的事。再见，公爵！”科利亚马上就走开了。 “我喜欢这孩子的明白知趣，”望着他背影列别杰夫说，“这小家伙挺灵巧，虽然挺缠人的。深深敬爱的公爵，我遭受了一件异常不幸的事，是昨天晚上还是今天清晨……我还捉摸不定确切的时间。” “是什么事情？” “侧袋里丢了四百卢布，深深敬爱的公爵；大家正给您庆贺生日，”列别杰夫苦笑着补了一句。 “您丢失了四百卢布？这真遗憾。” “特别是对一个靠自己的劳动正直生活的穷人来说是这样。” “当然，当然，怎么会这样的？” “是喝酒造成的后果。我来找您是把您看做神明，深深敬爱的公爵，四百银卢布这笔款子我是在昨天下午５点钟时从一个债主那里得到的，接着就坐火车回到这里。皮夹放在口袋里。我换下制服穿上常礼眼，把钱放进常礼服，我想到了要把钱放在身边，打算晚上应人家的请求把钱交出去……就等代理人来。” “顺便问一句，鲁基扬·季真菲伊奇，您在报上登过广告说，您收金银物品作抵押付款，这是真的吗？” “是通过代理人；不用我自己的名字，也不用我的地址。我本钱微不足道，又因为添了人了，您自己也会同意，收一点正当的利息……” “是的，是的；我不过是了解一下；对不起，我打断了您。” “代理人没有来一而那时又送来了那个不幸的人；午餐后我已经处于一种亢奋状态；来了这些客人，喝了……茶，……我很快活，却不料大祸临头。当时已很晚了，凯勒尔进来宣布您的大庆日子，并吩咐拿出香槟来，亲爱的深深敬重的公爵，我有一颗心（您大概已经发觉了，因为我是配得到这一点的），我有一颗心，我不说赤胆忠心，但可以说是知恩图报的，我还以此引以为豪。为了使准备中的聚会更加庄重，我个人也等着祝贺您，我忽然想到去，换下家常便服，穿上回家后脱下的制服，我这么做了，公爵，您大概也注意到了我一晚上都穿着制眼。我换了衣服，却忘了放在家常便服中的皮夹。哦……上帝想要惩罚人的时候，首先剥夺你的理智，真是这样。直到今天，己经７点半了，我醒来时，像个疯子似的从床上跳起来，第一件事就是去抓那件常礼眼，一只是一只空口袋。皮夹子已音无踪迹。” “呵，这真不愉快。” “确实不愉快，您刚才找到的合适字眼真是得体，”列别杰夫不无狡黠地添了一句说。 “不过，怎么会……”公爵若有所思，颇感不安地说，“这可是很严重的情况。” “确实严重，您又找了另一个字眼，公爵，为了表示……” “啊，够了，鲁基扬“·季莫菲伊奇，这用得着找字眼吗？重要的不是字眼……您认为，您喝醉时皮夹子会不会从您口袋里掉出来了？” “可能的。正如您坦率地所说的那样，喝醉时什么都有可能，我深深敬爱的公爵！但是，我请您判断一下：如果换衣服时我把皮夹子抖落出来了，那么掉下来的东西应该就在那里地板上。现在这东西在什么地方呢？” “您不会把它塞到桌子抽屉里什么地方了？” “全部找遍了，到处都找过了，何况我没有往哪儿藏过，也没有开过任何抽屉，这点我记得很清楚。” “看过柜子里吗？” “第一件事就看那里，今天甚至已经看了好几遍了……再说我怎么会塞到柜子里去呢，我衷心尊敬的公爵？” “我承认，列别杰夫，这很使我不安。这么说，有人在地板上捡了它？” “或者从口袋里偷的，二者必居其一。” “这使我非常不安；因为到底是谁……这就是问题所在。” “毫无疑问，主要的问题就在这里，您用词之确切、表达思想之恰当，分析情况之精确真令人惊讶，公爵阁下。” “啊，鲁基扬·季莫菲伊奇，别嘲弄人了，这里……” “嘲弄！”列别杰夫双手一拍，大声嚷了起来。 “算了，算了，算了，好吧，我可不是生气，这里完全是另一回事……我担心的是人们。您怀疑是谁？” “这是个最难知……最复杂的问题！我不怀疑女仆：她呆在自己厨房里。也不是亲生的孩子们……” “这还用说。” “看来，是客人中的什么人。” “但这可能吗？” “这是完全不可能，最大的不可能，可是又必定是这么回事。不过、我同意做这样的设想，甚至确信，如果是偷窃，那么不会是在晚上发生的，因为当时大家都聚集在一起，而会是在夜里或者甚至是在快要到清晨的时候，是在这里过夜的哪个人干的。” “啊，我的天哪！” “自然，布尔多夫斯基和居古拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇我是排除在外的，因为他们没有进我的房间。” “这还用说，甚至即使他们走进去过也不会！谁在您那里过夜的？” “连我在内，我们有四个人，住在两个相邻的房间：我，将军，凯勒尔和费尔迪先科先生。看来，是我们四人中的一个！” “也就是三个中的某一个，但是谁呢？” “我把自己算在内是为了公正，也为了合乎规矩，但是，公爵，您也会同意，我不可能自己偷自己，虽然世上也常有这样的事……” “啊，列别杰夫，这多无聊！”公爵不耐烦地高声说，“说正经的，您干吗拖拖拉拉的！……” “这就是说，剩下三个人，首先是凯勒尔先生。这个人反复无常，总是醉醺醺的，在某些方面是自由主义者，也就是说到钱袋的事，其他方面带有的倾向，与其说是自由主义，不如说是古代骑士式的。他在这里起先是在病人的房间里，已经半夜里了才换到我们这里来，借口说睡在光地板上太硬了。” “您怀疑是他？” “我怀疑过。当我在早晨７点多时像疯子似的一跳而起用手贴住前额的时候，马上叫醒了睡着安稳觉的将军。考虑到费尔迪先科奇怪地消失踪影，这一点已经引起了我们的怀疑，我们俩立即决定搜索凯勒尔，他睡得像……像……几乎就像死猪一股。我们完完全全搜了个遍：口袋里一个子几也没有，甚至没有一个口袋是没有窟窿的。方格蓝布手帕脏得不成样子。还有一封情书，是哪个女仆写的，信中向他要钱并进行威胁，再就是您知道的那篇小品文的碎片。将军认为他是无辜的。为了彻底弄清楚我们叫醒了他本人，好容易才推醒了他；他勉强弄明白是怎么回事，张大了嘴巴，一副醉态，脸上的表情是怪诞、无辜的，甚至是愚蠢的，－－不是他！” “哦，我真高兴！”公爵高兴地叹了口气，“我曾多么为他担心！” “担心？看来，您已经有理由怀疑了？”列别杰夫眯缝着眼说。 “哦，不，我是这么说说的，”公爵语塞了。“我说担心，真是愚蠢得可以。列别杰夫，帮帮忙，别把这话传给任何人……” “公爵，公爵！您的话在我的心里……在我心里深处，那里就是坟墓！……”列别杰夫把礼服贴在心坎处，激昂地说。 “好，”好！……这么说，是贫尔迪先科？也就是，我想说，您怀疑费尔迪先科？ “还有谁呢？”列别杰夫凝神望着公爵，悄悄地说。 “哦，是的，当然喏……还会有谁……就是说，我又说错了，有什么证据呢？” “证据是有的。首先，他是在早晨７点，甚至是６点多时消失的。” “我知道，科利亚对我说过，费尔迪先科到他那里去了一下，说要到……我忘了，到谁那里，到一个好朋友家去睡个足。” “是到维尔金那里。这么说，尼古拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇已经对您说了？” “他一点也没提及失窃的事。” “他是不知道，因为暂时我还对此事保密。这么说，他去维尔金家了；似乎事情没什么好奇怪的，一个醉汉到另一个跟他自己一样的醉汉那里去，尽管天还刚刚亮，又没有任何理由。但是这里却露出了踪迹：他走了，却留下了地址……现在，公爵，请注意一个问题：他为什么要留下地址？……为什么他绕个弯，特意去尼古拉· 阿尔达利翁诺维奇那儿并告诉他‘去维尔金家里睡个足’。谁对他要走，甚至他正是要去维尔金那里感兴趣？为什么要告诉人家？不，这里有精妙之处，小偷的精妙之处，这就是说：‘瞧，我故意不隐瞒我的行踪，我怎么会是小偷呢？难道小偷会告诉他到哪儿去的吗？，这是一种想排除怀疑的过分的细心，也就是说，想擦去沙地上的足迹……您明白我的意思吗，我深深敬爱的公爵？” “明白，非常清楚地明白，但是这可是不够的。” “第二条理由：他的行踪是假的，他给的地址是不准确的。过了１小阶，也就是８点钟的时候，我已经去敲维尔金的门了，他住在五条街，我甚至还认识他。赞尔迪先科的影子也没有。虽然从女仆那里（她完全是个聋子）追问出来，一个小时前确有某个人敲过门，甚至用的劲相当大，连门铃也扯断了。但是女仆没有开门，她不想叫醒维尔金先生，也可能是她自己不愿意起来。这种事也常有。” “这就是您的全部证据吗？这不够。” “公爵，那么该怀疑谁呢，您倒判断判断？”列别杰夫非常动人地结束说，在他的苦笑中闪现出某种经验的神情。 “您再好好看看房间和抽屉！”公爵沉思片刻后忧虑地说。 “细细看过了！”列别杰夫更加动人地叹了口气说。 “嗯！……何必，您何必要换掉这件常礼服呢？”公爵烦恼地敲了一下桌子，感叹道。 “这是一出古老喜剧中提的问题。但是，心地无比善良的公爵，您把我的不幸已经太往心里去了！我不配这样对待。也就是说，我一个人不敢当；但是您也在为罪犯……为微不足道的费尔迪先科先生感到痛苦，是吗？” “是的，是的，您确实使我很不安，”公爵心不在焉和不满地打断了他的话，“那么，既然您这么深信这是费尔迪先科于的、您打算做什么呢？……” “公爵，我深深敬爱的公爵，别人还会是谁呢？”列别杰夫用越来越受感动的腔调巴结着说。“要知道没有别的人可以设想为那个人，因而，除了费尔迪先科先生，完全不可能怀疑别的人，要知道，这么说吧，这又是一条不利于费尔迪先科的证据，已经是第三条了：因为还是这个问题：别的人还会是谁？总不见得我该怀疑布尔多夫斯基先生吧，嘻－嘻！” “照您，多么荒谬！” “最后，总不是将军吧。嘻－嘻？” “简直胡说八道！”公爵几乎生气地说，他不耐烦地在座位上转来转去。 “还用说不是胡说八道吗，嘻－嘻！这个人，也就是将军，真把我逗笑了，刚才我跟他趁热打铁追踪到维尔金家……应该向您指出，当我失窃后首先叫醒他时，将军比我还要感到震惊，甚至脸色都变了，红一阵，白一阵，最后突然显得部样正义凛然，表示着强烈的义愤，我甚至都没有料到会到那种程度。真是个正人君子！他经常吹牛，这是他的癖好，但是是个有高尚情操的人，同时他又是个缺少心眼的人，他的纯真无邪可以令人充分信任他。我已经对您说了，我深深敬爱的公爵，我对他不仅有好感，而且喜欢他。突然他停在街中央，解开常礼服，敞开胸，说‘搜搜我，您搜过凯勒尔，为什么不搜我呢？公正要求这样做，他手脚都抖动着，甚至脸变得雪白，一副威严可恨的样子。我笑了起来，说，‘听着，将军，如果别人对我这样说你，我立即用自己的双手把我的头颅取下来，将它放在一只大盘子里并亲自端给所有怀疑你的人，对他们说：瞧，看见这颗脑袋了吧，我就用自己的这颗脑袋为他担保，不仅，是脑袋，甚至还可以赴汤蹈火。瞧我准备怎么为你担保。”他当即扑过来拥抱我，仍然在大街中央，眼泪夺眶而出，浑身颤粟着，紧紧地招我搂在胸前（弄得我甚至差点咳嗽起来。）他说：‘你是我患难中留下的唯一的朋友！，真是个易动感情的人！于是，当然罗，一路上他立即讲了个类似境遇的坏事，说年轻时有一次他被怀疑偷了５００卢布，但是，第二天他扑进熊熊燃烧的房子，从火中拖出了怀疑他的伯爵和当时还是少女的尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜。伯爵拥抱了他，这样就有了他和尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜的婚姻，而次日在火灾的废墟中找到了装着失款的盒子；这是一只英国构造、带暗锁的铁盒，不知怎么的掉到地板底下去，因此谁也没有发觉它，直到这场火灾后才找到。这纯粹是胡说。但是他说到尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜时，甚至叹泣起来。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜是个气度高贵的妇人，尽管她生我的气。” “你们不认识？” “几乎不认识，但我真心诚意想和她认识，哪怕只是为了在她面前辩解。尼娜·亚历山德罗夫对我有所不满，认为似乎是我现在腐蚀了他丈夫，使他酗酒。但我不仅没有腐蚀他，反而还劝阻他；也许，我现在正使他摆脱有害的家伙。再说他是我的朋友，我向您承认，我现在不会撇下他，也就是说，他去哪儿，我也去哪儿，因为唯有重感情才能把握他。现在他甚至完全不去拜访自己的大尉妻子了，虽然暗中非常想去见她，有时甚至为她唉声叹气，特别是每天早晨起床穿靴子那一会，不知道为什么正是这个时候。他没有钱，槽就槽在这里，而没有钱无论如何也休想去她那里。他没有向您要过钱吗？我深深敬爱的公爵？” “没有，没有要过。” “他不好意思。他本来想过的，甚至向我承认，他想来麻烦您，但是不好意思，因为不久前您才借钱给他，加上他认为您不会给的。他把我当朋友才吐露这话的。” “那您没有给他钱吗？” “公爵！我深深敬爱的公爵！不光是钱，为了这个人，这么说吧，甚至生命……不，不过我不想夸大，不是生命，但是可以这样说，为了这个人我真的愿意经受一次热病，害一个脓肿或者甚至咳嗽，只要有非常的必要；因为我认为他是个伟大的但又是个沉沦的人！就是这样！不光是钱！” “这么说，您给他钱了？” “没有，钱我没有给，他自己知道，我是不会给的，但要知道唯一的目的是使他节制和改正。现在缠着要跟我一起去彼得堡；我去彼得堡可是为了要趁热打铁追踪费尔迪先科先生，因为我肯定他已经在那里了，我的将军也急得像热锅上的蚂蚁，但我怀疑，到了彼得堡他会从我身边偷偷溜走，好去找大尉妻子。我承认，我甚至会故意放他走，我们已经讲好，一到被得堡就立即兵分两路，以便更容易抓住费尔迪先科先生。我就这样要先把他放了。然后突然像雪落到头上一样，去大尉妻子那里回见他，--其实，是要使他感到羞愧，作为一个有家室的人，作为一个一般所说的人，他应该得这一点。” “只不过别闹得。满城风雨，列别杰夫，为了上帝，别闹得满城风雨，”公爵感到强烈不安，悄声说。 “哦，不会的，其实只是为了使他感到羞愧、同时也闪看看他是一副什么模样，因为根据模样可以做出许多结论，我尊敬的公爵，特别是这样的人！啊，公爵！尽管我自己遭到这么大的不幸，但是甚至现在我还是不能不想到他，不能不想到怎样纠正他的道德，我深深敬爱的公爵，我对您有个不同寻常的请求，我坦白地说、甚至正是为了这点才来的（您已经跟他们家熟悉了）甚至还在他们那里住过；要是您，心地无比善良的公民，您决定在这件事上协助我，其实只是为了将军一人和他的幸福……” 列别杰夫甚至交叉起双手，犹如祈祷那样。 “什么事情于怎么协助？请相信，我相当愿意完全理解您，列别杰夫。” “我到您这儿来唯一怀着的就是这种信心。通过尼娜·亚历山德罗夫娜可以起作用；这么说吧；可以在他自己家里内部观察、注意他这位阁下。不幸的是，我跟他家不熟悉……况且这里还有尼古拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，他崇拜您，可以说，是出于少年的一片真心，他大概也会帮忙的……” “不，上帝保佑，别把尼娜·亚历山记罗夫娜扯进这件事上……还有科利亚……不过可能我还没有理解您的用意，列别杰夫。” “这里根本没什么要理解的！”列别杰夫甚至在椅子上跳将起来，“只要感情的温柔，这就是我们病人的全部药物。公爵，您允许我把他看做是病人吧？” “这甚至显示出您的委婉和智慧。” “我举一个例子给您解释，为了明白起见我就用一个实例。您瞧，这是个什么人：他现在一心恋着这个大尉妻子，而没有钱是不能上她那儿的，今天我就打算在她那儿抓获他，这是为他幸福着想；但是，假定说，不光是大尉妻子的事，而是甚至犯了真正的罪行，啼，某桩最可耻的行为（虽然他根本不会这样做），那么到那时，我说，也只要用高尚的温情，这么说吧，你就能了解他的一切，因为他是个重感情的人！请相信，他熬不过五天，自己就会讲出来，会痛哭流涕，承认一切；如果做得巧妙和高尚，通过家庭和您对他进行一切监视，这么说吧，监视他的一举一动……尤其能如此：哦，心地无比善良的公爵！”列别杰夫甚至颇为感奋地跳起来说，“我可不断定他一定……可以说，我愿意哪怕是现在为他流淌我的全部鲜血，虽然您也会同意，没有节制地酗酒，大尉妻子这一切加在一起是会导致一切后果的。” “这样的目的，我当然总是愿意帮助的，”公爵站起来说，“只不过我向您承认，列别杰夫，我现在心里不安得不得了；您说，您不是一直……总之，您自己说的、您怀疑费尔迪先科先生。” “还会有谁。”

Part 3 Chapter 8 SHE laughed, but she was rather angry too. "He's asleep! You were asleep," she said, with contemptuous surprise. "Is it really you?" muttered the prince, not quite himself as yet, and recognizing her with a start of amazement. "Oh yes, of course," he added, "this is our rendezvous. I fell asleep here." "So I saw." "Did no one awake me besides yourself? Was there no one else here? I thought there was another woman." "There was another woman here?" At last he was wide awake. "It was a dream, of course," he said, musingly. "Strange that I should have a dream like that at such a moment. Sit down--" He took her hand and seated her on the bench; then sat down beside her and reflected. Aglaya did not begin the conversation, but contented herself with watching her companion intently. He looked back at her, but at times it was clear that he did not see her and was not thinking of her. Aglaya began to flush up. "Oh yes!" cried the prince, starting. "Hippolyte's suicide--" "What? At your house?" she asked, but without much surprise. "He was alive yesterday evening, wasn't he? How could you sleep here after that?" she cried, growing suddenly animated. "Oh, but he didn't kill himself; the pistol didn't go off." Aglaya insisted on hearing the whole story. She hurried the prince along, but interrupted him with all sorts of questions, nearly all of which were irrelevant. Among other things, she seemed greatly interested in every word that Evgenie Pavlovitch had said, and made the prince repeat that part of the story over and over again. "Well, that'll do; we must be quick," she concluded, after hearing all. "We have only an hour here, till eight; I must be home by then without fail, so that they may not find out that I came and sat here with you; but I've come on business. I have a great deal to say to you. But you have bowled me over considerably with your news. As to Hippolyte, I think his pistol was bound not to go off; it was more consistent with the whole affair. Are you sure he really wished to blow his brains out, and that there was no humbug about the matter?" "No humbug at all." "Very likely. So he wrote that you were to bring me a copy of his confession, did he? Why didn't you bring it?" "Why, he didn't die! I'll ask him for it, if you like." "Bring it by all means; you needn't ask him. He will be delighted, you may be sure; for, in all probability, he shot at himself simply in order that I might read his confession. Don't laugh at what I say, please, Lef Nicolaievitch, because it may very well be the case." "I'm not laughing. I am convinced, myself, that that may have been partly the reason. "You are convinced? You don't really mean to say you think that honestly?" asked Aglaya, extremely surprised. She put her questions very quickly and talked fast, every now and then forgetting what she had begun to say, and not finishing her sentence. She seemed to be impatient to warn the prince about something or other. She was in a state of unusual excitement, and though she put on a brave and even defiant air, she seemed to be rather alarmed. She was dressed very simply, but this suited her well. She continually trembled and blushed, and she sat on the very edge of the seat. The fact that the prince confirmed her idea, about Hippolyte shooting himself that she might read his confession, surprised her greatly. "Of course," added the prince, "he wished us all to applaud his conduct--besides yourself." "How do you mean--applaud?" "Well--how am I to explain? He was very anxious that we should all come around him, and say we were so sorry for him, and that we loved him very much, and all that; and that we hoped he wouldn't kill himself, but remain alive. Very likely he thought more of you than the rest of us, because he mentioned you at such a moment, though perhaps he did not know himself that he had you in his mind's eye." "I don't understand you. How could he have me in view, and not be aware of it himself? And yet, I don't know--perhaps I do. Do you know I have intended to poison myself at least thirty times--ever since I was thirteen or so--and to write to my parents before I did it? I used to think how nice it would be to lie in my coffin, and have them all weeping over me and saying it was all their fault for being so cruel, and all that--what are you smiling at?" she added, knitting her brow. "What do YOU think of when you go mooning about alone? I suppose you imagine yourself a field- marshal, and think you have conquered Napoleon?" "Well, I really have thought something of the sort now and then, especially when just dozing off," laughed the prince. "Only it is the Austrians whom I conquer--not Napoleon." "I don't wish to joke with you, Lef Nicolaievitch. I shall see Hippolyte myself. Tell him so. As for you, I think you are behaving very badly, because it is not right to judge a man's soul as you are judging Hippolyte's. You have no gentleness, but only justice--so you are unjust." The prince reflected. "I think you are unfair towards me," he said. "There is nothing wrong in the thoughts I ascribe to Hippolyte; they are only natural. But of course I don't know for certain what he thought. Perhaps he thought nothing, but simply longed to see human faces once more, and to hear human praise and feel human affection. Who knows? Only it all came out wrong, somehow. Some people have luck, and everything comes out right with them; others have none, and never a thing turns out fortunately." "I suppose you have felt that in your own case," said Aglaya. "Yes, I have," replied the prince, quite unsuspicious of any irony in the remark. "H'm--well, at all events, I shouldn't have fallen asleep here, in your place. It wasn't nice of you, that. I suppose you fall asleep wherever you sit down?" "But I didn't sleep a wink all night. I walked and walked about, and went to where the music was--" "What music?" "Where they played last night. Then I found this bench and sat down, and thought and thought--and at last I fell fast asleep." "Oh, is that it? That makes a difference, perhaps. What did you go to the bandstand for?" "I don't know; I---" "Very well--afterwards. You are always interrupting me. What woman was it you were dreaming about?" "It was--about--you saw her--" "Quite so; I understand. I understand quite well. You are very-- Well, how did she appear to you? What did she look like? No, I don't want to know anything about her," said Aglaya, angrily; "don't interrupt me--" She paused a moment as though getting breath, or trying to master her feeling of annoyance. "Look here; this is what I called you here for. I wish to make you a--to ask you to be my friend. What do you stare at me like that for?" she added, almost angrily. The prince certainly had darted a rather piercing look at her, and now observed that she had begun to blush violently. At such moments, the more Aglaya blushed, the angrier she grew with herself; and this was clearly expressed in her eyes, which flashed like fire. As a rule, she vented her wrath on her unfortunate companion, be it who it might. She was very conscious of her own shyness, and was not nearly so talkative as her sisters for this reason--in fact, at times she was much too quiet. When, therefore, she was bound to talk, especially at such delicate moments as this, she invariably did so with an air of haughty defiance. She always knew beforehand when she was going to blush, long before the blush came. "Perhaps you do not wish to accept my proposition?" she asked, gazing haughtily at the prince. "Oh yes, I do; but it is so unnecessary. I mean, I did not think you need make such a proposition," said the prince, looking confused. "What did you suppose, then? Why did you think I invited you out here? I suppose you think me a 'little fool,' as they all call me at home?" "I didn't know they called you a fool. I certainly don't think you one." "You don't think me one! Oh, dear me!--that's very clever of you; you put it so neatly, too." "In my opinion, you are far from a fool sometimes--in fact, you are very intelligent. You said a very clever thing just now about my being unjust because I had ONLY justice. I shall remember that, and think about it." Aglaya blushed with pleasure. All these changes in her expression came about so naturally and so rapidly--they delighted the prince; he watched her, and laughed. "Listen," she began again; "I have long waited to tell you all this, ever since the time when you sent me that letter--even before that. Half of what I have to say you heard yesterday. I consider you the most honest and upright of men--more honest and upright than any other man; and if anybody says that your mind is--is sometimes affected, you know--it is unfair. I always say so and uphold it, because even if your surface mind be a little affected (of course you will not feel angry with me for talking so--I am speaking from a higher point of view) yet your real mind is far better than all theirs put together. Such a mind as they have never even DREAMED of; because really, there are TWO minds-- the kind that matters, and the kind that doesn't matter. Isn't it so?" "May be! may be so!" said the prince, faintly; his heart was beating painfully. "I knew you would not misunderstand me," she said, triumphantly. "Prince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch and Alexandra don't understand anything about these two kinds of mind, but, just fancy, mamma does!" "You are very like Lizabetha Prokofievna." "What! surely not?" said Aglaya. "Yes, you are, indeed." "Thank you; I am glad to be like mamma," she said, thoughtfully. "You respect her very much, don't you?" she added, quite unconscious of the naiveness of the question. "VERY much; and I am so glad that you have realized the fact." "I am very glad, too, because she is often laughed at by people. But listen to the chief point. I have long thought over the matter, and at last I have chosen you. I don't wish people to laugh at me; I don't wish people to think me a 'little fool.' I don't want to be chaffed. I felt all this of a sudden, and I refused Evgenie Pavlovitch flatly, because I am not going to be forever thrown at people's heads to be married. I want--I want-- well, I'll tell you, I wish to run away from home, and I have chosen you to help me." "Run away from home?" cried the prince. "Yes--yes--yes! Run away from home!" she repeated, in a transport of rage. "I won't, I won't be made to blush every minute by them all! I don't want to blush before Prince S. or Evgenie Pavlovitch, or anyone, and therefore I have chosen you. I shall tell you everything, EVERYTHING, even the most important things of all, whenever I like, and you are to hide nothing from me on your side. I want to speak to at least one person, as I would to myself. They have suddenly begun to say that I am waiting for you, and in love with you. They began this before you arrived here, and so I didn't show them the letter, and now they all say it, every one of them. I want to be brave, and be afraid of nobody. I don't want to go to their balls and things--I want to do good. I have long desired to run away, for I have been kept shut up for twenty years, and they are always trying to marry me off. I wanted to run away when I was fourteen years old--I was a little fool then, I know--but now I have worked it all out, and I have waited for you to tell me about foreign countries. I have never seen a single Gothic cathedral. I must go to Rome; I must see all the museums; I must study in Paris. All this last year I have been preparing and reading forbidden books. Alexandra and Adelaida are allowed to read anything they like, but I mayn't. I don't want to quarrel with my sisters, but I told my parents long ago that I wish to change my social position. I have decided to take up teaching, and I count on you because you said you loved children. Can we go in for education together--if not at once, then afterwards? We could do good together. I won't be a general's daughter any more! Tell me, are you a very learned man?" "Oh no; not at all." "Oh-h-h! I'm sorry for that. I thought you were. I wonder why I always thought so--but at all events you'll help me, won't you? Because I've chosen you, you know." "Aglaya Ivanovna, it's absurd." But I will, I WILL run away!" she cried--and her eyes flashed again with anger--"and if you don't agree I shall go and marry Gavrila Ardalionovitch! I won't be considered a horrible girl, and accused of goodness knows what." "Are you out of your mind?" cried the prince, almost starting from his seat. "What do they accuse you of? Who accuses you?" "At home, everybody, mother, my sisters, Prince S., even that detestable Colia! If they don't say it, they think it. I told them all so to their faces. I told mother and father and everybody. Mamma was ill all the day after it, and next day father and Alexandra told me that I didn't understand what nonsense I was talking. I informed them that they little knew me-- I was not a small child--I understood every word in the language-- that I had read a couple of Paul de Kok's novels two years since on purpose, so as to know all about everything. No sooner did mamma hear me say this than she nearly fainted!" A strange thought passed through the prince's brain; he gazed intently at Aglaya and smiled. He could not believe that this was the same haughty young girl who had once so proudly shown him Gania's letter. He could not understand how that proud and austere beauty could show herself to be such an utter child--a child who probably did not even now understand some words. "Have you always lived at home, Aglaya Ivanovna?" he asked. "I mean, have you never been to school, or college, or anything?" "No--never--nowhere! I've been at home all my life, corked up in a bottle; and they expect me to be married straight out of it. What are you laughing at again? I observe that you, too, have taken to laughing at me, and range yourself on their side against me," she added, frowning angrily. "Don't irritate me--I'm bad enough without that--I don't know what I am doing sometimes. I am persuaded that you came here today in the full belief that I am in love with you, and that I arranged this meeting because of that," she cried, with annoyance. "I admit I was afraid that that was the case, yesterday," blundered the prince (he was rather confused), "but today I am quite convinced that " "How?" cried Aglaya--and her lower lip trembled violently. "You were AFRAID that I--you dared to think that I--good gracious! you suspected, perhaps, that I sent for you to come here in order to catch you in a trap, so that they should find us here together, and make you marry me--" "Aglaya Ivanovna, aren't you ashamed of saying such a thing? How could such a horrible idea enter your sweet, innocent heart? I am certain you don't believe a word of what you say, and probably you don't even know what you are talking about." Aglaya sat with her eyes on the ground; she seemed to have alarmed even herself by what she had said. "No, I'm not; I'm not a bit ashamed!" she murmured. "And how do you know my heart is innocent? And how dared you send me a love-- letter that time?" "LOVE-LETTER? My letter a love-letter? That letter was the most respectful of letters; it went straight from my heart, at what was perhaps the most painful moment of my life! I thought of you at the time as a kind of light. I--" "Well, very well, very well!" she said, but quite in a different tone. She was remorseful now, and bent forward to touch his shoulder, though still trying not to look him in the face, as if the more persuasively to beg him not to be angry with her. "Very well," she continued, looking thoroughly ashamed of herself, "I feel that I said a very foolish thing. I only did it just to try you. Take it as unsaid, and if I offended you, forgive me. Don't look straight at me like that, please; turn your head away. You called it a 'horrible idea'; I only said it to shock you. Very often I am myself afraid of saying what I intend to say, and out it comes all the same. You have just told me that you wrote that letter at the most painful moment of your life. I know what moment that was!" she added softly, looking at the ground again. "Oh, if you could know all!" "I DO know all!" she cried, with another burst of indignation. "You were living in the same house as that horrible woman with whom you ran away." She did not blush as she said this; on the contrary, she grew pale, and started from her seat, apparently oblivious of what she did, and immediately sat down again. Her lip continued to tremble for a long time. There was silence for a moment. The prince was taken aback by the suddenness of this last reply, and did not know to what he should attribute it. "I don't love you a bit!" she said suddenly, just as though the words had exploded from her mouth. The prince did not answer, and there was silence again. "I love Gavrila Ardalionovitch," she said, quickly; but hardly audibly, and with her head bent lower than ever. "That is NOT true," said the prince, in an equally low voice. "What! I tell stories, do I? It is true! I gave him my promise a couple of days ago on this very seat." The prince was startled, and reflected for a moment. "It is not true," he repeated, decidedly; "you have just invented it!" "You are wonderfully polite. You know he is greatly improved. He loves me better than his life. He let his hand burn before my very eyes in order to prove to me that he loved me better than his life!" "He burned his hand!" "Yes, believe it or not! It's all the same to me!" The prince sat silent once more. Aglaya did not seem to be joking; she was too angry for that. "What! he brought a candle with him to this place? That is, if the episode happened here; otherwise I can't " "Yes, a candle! What's there improbable about that?" "A whole one, and in a candlestick?" "Yes--no-half a candle--an end, you know--no, it was a whole candle; it's all the same. Be quiet, can't you! He brought a box of matches too, if you like, and then lighted the candle and held his finger in it for half an hour and more!--There! Can't that be?" "I saw him yesterday, and his fingers were all right!" Aglaya suddenly burst out laughing, as simply as a child. "Do you know why I have just told you these lies?" She appealed to the prince, of a sudden, with the most childlike candour, and with the laugh still trembling on her lips. "Because when one tells a lie, if one insists on something unusual and eccentric-- something too 'out of the way'' for anything, you know--the more impossible the thing is, the more plausible does the lie sound. I've noticed this. But I managed it badly; I didn't know how to work it." She suddenly frowned again at this point as though at some sudden unpleasant recollection. "If"--she began, looking seriously and even sadly at him-- "if when I read you all that about the 'poor knight,' I wished to-to praise you for one thing--I also wished to show you that I knew all--and did not approve of your conduct." "You are very unfair to me, and to that unfortunate woman of whom you spoke just now in such dreadful terms, Aglaya." "Because I know all, all--and that is why I speak so. I know very well how you--half a year since--offered her your hand before everybody. Don't interrupt me. You see, I am merely stating facts without any comment upon them. After that she ran away with Rogojin. Then you lived with her at some village or town, and she ran away from you." (Aglaya blushed dreadfully.) "Then she returned to Rogojin again, who loves her like a madman. Then you --like a wise man as you are--came back here after her as soon as ever you heard that she had returned to Petersburg. Yesterday evening you sprang forward to protect her, and just now you dreamed about her. You see, I know all. You did come back here for her, for her--now didn't you?" "Yes--for her!" said the prince softly and sadly, and bending his head down, quite unconscious of the fact that Aglaya was gazing at him with eyes which burned like live coals. "I came to find out something--I don't believe in her future happiness as Rogojin's wife, although--in a word, I did not know how to help her or what to do for her--but I came, on the chance." He glanced at Aglaya, who was listening with a look of hatred on her face. "If you came without knowing why, I suppose you love her very much indeed!" she said at last. "No," said the prince, "no, I do not love her. Oh! if you only knew with what horror I recall the time I spent with her!" A shudder seemed to sweep over his whole body at the recollection. "Tell me about it," said Aglaya. "There is nothing which you might not hear. Why I should wish to tell you, and only you, this experience of mine, I really cannot say; perhaps it really is because I love you very much. This unhappy woman is persuaded that she is the most hopeless, fallen creature in the world. Oh, do not condemn her! Do not cast stones at her! She has suffered too much already in the consciousness of her own undeserved shame. "And she is not guilty--oh God!--Every moment she bemoans and bewails herself, and cries out that she does not admit any guilt, that she is the victim of circumstances--the victim of a wicked libertine. "But whatever she may say, remember that she does not believe it herself,--remember that she will believe nothing but that she is a guilty creature. "When I tried to rid her soul of this gloomy fallacy, she suffered so terribly that my heart will never be quite at peace so long as I can remember that dreadful time!--Do you know why she left me? Simply to prove to me what is not true--that she is base. But the worst of it is, she did not realize herself that that was all she wanted to prove by her departure! She went away in response to some inner prompting to do something disgraceful, in order that she might say to herself--'There--you've done a new act of shame--you degraded creature!' "Oh, Aglaya--perhaps you cannot understand all this. Try to realize that in the perpetual admission of guilt she probably finds some dreadful unnatural satisfaction--as though she were revenging herself upon someone. "Now and then I was able to persuade her almost to see light around her again; but she would soon fall, once more, into her old tormenting delusions, and would go so far as to reproach me for placing myself on a pedestal above her (I never had an idea of such a thing!), and informed me, in reply to my proposal of marriage, that she 'did not want condescending sympathy or help from anybody.' You saw her last night. You don't suppose she can be happy among such people as those--you cannot suppose that such society is fit for her? You have no idea how well-educated she is, and what an intellect she has! She astonished me sometimes." "And you preached her sermons there, did you?" "Oh no," continued the prince thoughtfully, not noticing Aglaya's mocking tone, "I was almost always silent there. I often wished to speak, but I really did not know what to say. In some cases it is best to say nothing, I think. I loved her, yes, I loved her very much indeed; but afterwards--afterwards she guessed all." "What did she guess?" "That I only PITIED her--and--and loved her no longer!" "How do you know that? How do you know that she is not really in love with that--that rich cad--the man she eloped with?" "Oh no! I know she only laughs at him; she has made a fool of him all along." "Has she never laughed at you?" "No--in anger, perhaps. Oh yes! she reproached me dreadfully in anger; and suffered herself, too! But afterwards--oh! don't remind me--don't remind me of that!" He hid his face in his hands. "Are you aware that she writes to me almost every day?" "So that is true, is it?" cried the prince, greatly agitated. "I had heard a report of it, but would not believe it." "Whom did you hear it from?" asked Aglaya, alarmed. "Rogojin said something about it yesterday, but nothing definite." "Yesterday! Morning or evening? Before the music or after?" "After--it was about twelve o'clock." "Ah! Well, if it was Rogojin--but do you know what she writes to me about?" "I should not be surprised by anything. She is mad!" "There are the letters." (Aglaya took three letters out of her pocket and threw them down before the prince.) "For a whole week she has been entreating and worrying and persuading me to marry you. She--well, she is clever, though she may be mad--much cleverer than I am, as you say. Well, she writes that she is in love with me herself, and tries to see me every day, if only from a distance. She writes that you love me, and that she has long known it and seen it, and that you and she talked about me-- there. She wishes to see you happy, and she says that she is certain only I can ensure you the happiness you deserve. She writes such strange, wild letters--I haven't shown them to anyone. Now, do you know what all this means? Can you guess anything?" "It is madness--it is merely another proof of her insanity!" said the prince, and his lips trembled. "You are crying, aren't you?" "No, Aglaya. No, I'm not crying." The prince looked at her. "Well, what am I to do? What do you advise me? I cannot go on receiving these letters, you know." "Oh, let her alone, I entreat you!" cried the prince. What can you do in this dark, gloomy mystery? Let her alone, and I'll use all my power to prevent her writing you any more letters." "If so, you are a heartless man!" cried Aglaya. As if you can't see that it is not myself she loves, but you, you, and only you! Surely you have not remarked everything else in her, and only not THIS? Do you know what these letters mean? They mean jealousy, sir--nothing but pure jealousy! She--do you think she will ever really marry this Rogojin, as she says here she will? She would take her own life the day after you and I were married." The prince shuddered; his heart seemed to freeze within him. He gazed at Aglaya in wonderment; it was difficult for him to realize that this child was also a woman. "God knows, Aglaya, that to restore her peace of mind and make her happy I would willingly give up my life. But I cannot love her, and she knows that." "Oh, make a sacrifice of yourself! That sort of thing becomes you well, you know. Why not do it? And don't call me 'Aglaya'; you have done it several times lately. You are bound, it is your DUTY to 'raise' her; you must go off somewhere again to soothe and pacify her. Why, you love her, you know!" "I cannot sacrifice myself so, though I admit I did wish to do so once. Who knows, perhaps I still wish to! But I know for CERTAIN, that if she married me it would be her ruin; I know this and therefore I leave her alone. I ought to go to see her today; now I shall probably not go. She is proud, she would never forgive me the nature of the love I bear her, and we should both be ruined. This may be unnatural, I don't know; but everything seems unnatural. You say she loves me, as if this were LOVE! As if she could love ME, after what I have been through! No, no, it is not love." "How pale you have grown!" cried Aglaya in alarm. Oh, it's nothing. I haven't slept, that's all, and I'm rather tired. I--we certainly did talk about you, Aglaya." "Oh, indeed, it is true then! YOU COULD ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT ME WITH HER; and--and how could you have been fond of me when you had only seen me once?" "I don't know. Perhaps it was that I seemed to come upon light in the midst of my gloom. I told you the truth when I said I did not know why I thought of you before all others. Of course it was all a sort of dream, a dream amidst the horrors of reality. Afterwards I began to work. I did not intend to come back here for two or three years--" "Then you came for her sake?" Aglaya's voice trembled. "Yes, I came for her sake." There was a moment or two of gloomy silence. Aglaya rose from her seat. "If you say," she began in shaky tones, "if you say that this woman of yours is mad--at all events I have nothing to do with her insane fancies. Kindly take these three letters, Lef Nicolaievitch, and throw them back to her, from me. And if she dares," cried Aglaya suddenly, much louder than before, "if she dares so much as write me one word again, tell her I shall tell my father, and that she shall be taken to a lunatic asylum." The prince jumped up in alarm at Aglaya's sudden wrath, and a mist seemed to come before his eyes. "You cannot really feel like that! You don't mean what you say. It is not true," he murmured. "It IS true, it IS true," cried Aglaya, almost beside herself with rage. "What's true? What's all this? What's true?" said an alarmed voice just beside them. Before them stood Lizabetha Prokofievna. "Why, it's true that I am going to marry Gavrila Ardalionovitch, that I love him and intend to elope with him tomorrow," cried Aglaya, turning upon her mother. "Do you hear? Is your curiosity satisfied? Are you pleased with what you have heard?" Aglaya rushed away homewards with these words. "H'm! well, YOU are not going away just yet, my friend, at all events," said Lizabetha, stopping the prince. "Kindly step home with me, and let me have a little explanation of the mystery. Nice goings on, these! I haven't slept a wink all night as it is." The prince followed her. 她笑着，但她也很气愤。 “睡着了！您睡着了！”她带着轻蔑而又惊讶的口吻嚷着。 “是您！”公爵喃喃着，他还没有完全清醒，一边惊诧地认着她，“啊，对了！这是约好的……我在这儿睡着了。” “我看见了。” “除了您，没有人叫醒我吗、除了您，这里没有人来过吗？我以为，还会有……另一个女人来过……，’ “这里是有另一个女人来过……” 最后，他完全清醒了。 “这只是个梦，”他若有所思地说，“奇怪的是，在这种时刻做这样的梦。请坐。” 他握着她的手，让她坐到长椅上；自己则坐到她旁边，陷入了沉思。阿格拉娅并不忙讲话，而只是专注地打量着自己的谈话对方。他也望着她，像有时仿佛根本没有见到她在自己面前。她开始脸红了。 “啊，对了！”公爵颤粟了一下，说，“伊波利特开熗自杀了！” “什么时候？在您那里吗？”她问着，但是并没显得大大的惊异，，‘昨天晚上他不是好像还活着的吗？发生所有这一切事后，您怎么还能在这睡觉？”她突然振奋起来，高声说。 “要知道他没有死，熗没有打响。” 在阿格拉娅的坚持下，公爵只得立即而且甚至为她详细地叙述了昨夜发生事情的全部经过。她不时地催促他快讲下去，可自己又不断地提问打断他，提的几乎全是无关紧要的问题。顺便说一句，她怀着极大的好奇听完公爵转述叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇说了些什么，有好几次甚至重问了什么。 “好了，够了，应该快点，”她听完了一切，最后说，“我们在这里一共只有一个小时时间，到８点钟为止，因为８点钟时我一定必须得在家里，免得他们知道我曾经在这里，而我是有事才来的，我有许多事需要告诉您。只不过现在您全把我搞糊涂了。关于伊波利特的事，我想，他的手熗就会是打不响的，这比较符合他这个人的情况。但是您深信他肯定想自杀，这里没有欺骗，是吗？” “没有任何欺骗。” “这也有可能。他在《解释》里是写了，要您把他的‘自白”带来给我吗？您又为什么不带来呢？” “他不是没有死吗？我以后问他要。” “一定要带来，没必要间他要。这一定会使他感到很愉快，因为他也许正是带了这样的目的才朝自己开熗的，要我以后读他的‘自白’。请您别笑话我这些话，别夫·尼古拉那维奇，因为很可能是这么一回事。” “我不会笑话的，因为我自己也深信，在某种程度上很可能是这样的。” “您也深信？难道您也这么想？”阿格拉娅突然惊诧得不得了。 她问得很快，说得也很急，但有时似乎离题，常常没有把话说完；她还不时地急于提出什么警告；总之她异常忐忑不安，尽管她看人的时候很大胆，还含着某种挑衅的意味，但也许实际上是有点心虚的。她身上穿的是最普通的家常连衣裙，这跟她很相称。她常常打颤，脸色绯红，坐在长椅边上。公爵也确认伊波利特开熗自杀是为了使她读他的“自白”，这使她非常惊讶。 “当然，”公爵解释说，“他是想，除您以外，我们大家都称赞他……” “怎么称赞？” “也就是，这……怎么对您说呢？这很难说。只不过他一定很想大家围着他并对他说，大家很爱他、尊敬他，大家都竭力劝他要活下去。很可能他最牢记的就是您，因为在这种时刻他还提到您……尽管也许他自己也不知道，他牢记着您。” “这我就完全不明白了：牢记的是我，却又不知道牢记着我。不过，好像我是能理解的：知道吗，当我还只是个１３岁小姑娘的时候，我自己就曾经有３０次想过要服毒自杀，并打算把这一切写信告诉父母，也曾经想过我躺在棺材里的样子，大家将为我哭泣，并责怪自己对我那么无情……您干吗又笑了？”她皱了皱眉，很快地补了一句说，“当您一个人逻想的时候，您还暗自想过什么？也许，您把自己想像成陆军元帅，并且击溃了拿破仑。” “嗯，说实话，我是这样想过的，特别是要入睡的时候，”公爵笑起来说，“只不过我击溃的不是拿破仑，而全是奥地利兵。” “我根本不想跟您开玩笑，列夫·尼古拉那维奇。我自己会去看伊波利特的，请您先向他打个招呼。而从您这方面来说，我认为所有这一切都是很不好的，因为像您这样评判伊波利特，这样剖视和评判一个人的心灵，是很粗暴无礼的。您没有一点温情，只有实话，因而也就不公正。” 公爵思忖起来。 “我觉得，您对我是不公正的，”他说，“因为我并没有认为他这样想有什么不好；何况，也许他根本就没有想过，而仅仅是想……他想最后一次跟人们相会，赢得他们的尊敬和喜爱，这可是很好的感情，只不过不知怎么的结果却不是这样；这里是因为他有病，还有什么其他原因！再说，有些人一切总是有好结果，另一些人则干什么都不像……” “您这大概是把自己的情况也加进去了吧？”阿格拉娅指出。 “是的，是在说自己，”公爵丝毫没有发觉这一间话中的幸灾乐祸的含意，回答说。 “只不过，我要是处于您的位置，反正无论如何也是睡不着的；看来，您随便往哪儿一呆，马上就能在那儿睡着；这对您来说是很不好的。” “要知道我整夜没有睡，后来又走来走去的，又曾去了音乐会……” “什么音乐会？” “就是昨天演出的地方，后来来到这里，坐下来，想着想着就睡着了。” “啊，原来是这样的。这就情有可原了……那您为什么要到听音乐的地方去？” “我不知道，就这么……” “好，好，以后再说；您老晕打断我，而且您到听音乐的地方去，跟我又有什么相于？您这是梦见了哪个女人？” “这……是……您没有见过的……” “我明白了，非常明白。您对她很……您怎么梦见她的？她什么样子？其实，我一点也不想知道。”抛突然懊恼地毫不客气地说，“别打断我……” 她等了一会，似乎是要鼓足勇气或者竭力想驱赶烦恼。 “我把您叫来是为了这么一回事：我想向您提议做我的朋友。您干吗老这样盯着我？”她几乎愤怒地补了一句。 公爵这一刻确实很专注地看着她，因为他发觉她的脸又开始涨红得不了，在这种情况下她越是脸红，好像就越是为此而生自己的气，这甚至在她灼灼发亮的眼睛里也明显地流露出来；通常过一分钟她就已经迁怒于与她话的人，不管对方是否有过错，她就开始跟他争吵起来。她知道自己的古怪和怕难为情，因此通常很少参与交谈，比她的两个姐姐寡言少语，有时甚显得过于沉默。有时候，特别是在这种微妙的场合，必须得开口说话，那她说起来总带着一种不同寻常的高傲，仿佛是有某种挑衅的意味。她总预先就能感觉到什么时候开始或者想开始脸红。 “也许，您不想接受这一提议？”她傲慢地望了一眼公爵。 “哦，不，我想，只是这完全没有必要……也就是说，我怎么也没有想过需要这样提出建议，”公爵窘困地说。 “那么您想到了什么？为了什么我把您叫到这里来呢？您头脑里在想什么？不过，也许您认为我是个小傻瓜，就像家里大家这么认为的一样。” “我不知道他认为您是傻瓜，我……我不这么认为。” “您不认为？您很聪明。说得尤其聪明。” “据我看，您有时候甚至可能很聪明，”公爵继续说，“您刚才突然说了句非常聪明的活。您说出了我对伊波利特的疑虑：‘这里光只有真话，因而就是不公正的’。我记住了这一点并在仔细思量，” 阿格拉娅一下子高兴得脸上泛起红早。所有这些变化在她身上发生得非常坦率，而且非常迅速。公爵也很高兴，甚至望着她，高兴得笑起来。 “听着，”她又开始说，“我等了您很久，为的是对您讲这一切，自您从那里给我写那封信那个时候起我就等了，甚至还要早……昨天您已经从我那听到了一半了：我认为您是最正直最诚实的人，比所有的人都正直和诚实。如果人家说您，说您的头脑……也就是您有时候头脑有病，那么这是不公正的，我是这样认定的并且跟他们争论，因为即使您真的头脑有病（当然，您对此不要生气，我是从最严重的情况来说的），可是您头脑的主要部分是比他们，比所有的人都更聪颖的，这样的头脑他们做梦也想不到，因为有两种头脑：主要的和非主要的。是这样吗？不是这样吗？” “也许是这样，”公爵勉强说出话来；他的心回得厉害，怦怦跳个不停。 “我就知道，您是能理解的，”她一本正经地继续说，“ω公爵和叶甫盖尼·帕夫雷奇就一点也不理解这两种头脑的说法，亚历山德拉也是，不过您请设想一下：妈妈倒是理解的。” “您很像叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。” “这怎么会呢？难道是这样吗？”阿格拉娅惊异地说。 “真的；是这样。” “我感谢您，”她想了一下说，“说我像妈妈，我很高兴。看来，您很尊敬她？”她添了一句，并没有意识到这话问得很幼稚。 “非常非常尊敬，我很高兴，您这样干脆地理解了这一点。” “我也高兴，因为我发现，有时人家……笑话她。但是请听主要的：我想了很久，最后选择了您。我不想让家里人笑话我；我也不希望人家认为我是个小傻瓜；我也不愿意人家逗弄我……我一下子明白了这一切，就坚决拒绝了叶甫盖尼·帕夫雷奇，因为我不想让人家不断地操心把我嫁出去！我想……我想……嗯，我想从家里逃走，而我之所以选择了您，是希望您能帮助我。” “从家里逃走！”公爵大声嚷了起来。 “是的，是的，是的，从家里逃走！”她突然喊道，进发出一种异常的愤怒。“我不想，我不愿意在那里永远弄得我脸红。无论是在我家里人面前，还是在ω公爵面前，无论是在叶甫盖尼·帕夫雷奇面前，还是在谁面前，我都不愿意脸红，因此我才选择了您。我想跟您谈论一切，一切，甚至，当我想谈的时候，跟您谈论最主要的事情，从您这方面来说，也不应该对我隐瞒什么。我希望哪怕是有一个人可以什么都谈，就像跟自己谈一样。他们突然开始说，我在等您，我爱您。还在您来以前就这么说了，而我没有把信拿给他们看；而现在大家已经都在这么说了。我想做个勇敢的人，什么都不怕。我不愿意去参加各种舞会，我想做能带来益处的事。我早就想离开了。我被关在他们那里２０年，而且老是要把我嫁出去，还是１４岁的时候我就想逃走，尽管那时还是个傻瓜。现在我已全部盘算过，并且等您来，好向您打听国外的一切情况。我一座哥特式教堂也没有见过，我想去罗马，我想参观所有学者的书房，我想在巴黎学习；最近这一年我做着准备，学习，读了许多书；我读了所有的禁书。亚历山德拉和阿杰莱达可以读所有的书，她们可以，而对我则不是全给读，对我有监督。我不想跟姐姐们争吵，但是我早就向母亲和父亲宣布，我想彻底改变我的社会地位。我决定从事教育工作，我指望着您，因为您说过，您爱孩子们。我们可以一起搞教育，即使不是现在，也可以在将来，怎么样？我们将一起给人们带来益处；我不想做将军的女儿……您说，您是个很有学问的人吗？” “哦，根本不是。” “这很遗憾，而我以为……我怎么会这么想的呢？您反正得指导我，因为我选择了您。” “这很荒唐，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜。” “我想，我想从家里逃走！”她喊道，她的眼睛又闪闪发亮，“如果您不愿意，那么我就嫁给加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇。我不希望家里人把我看作是个令人讨厌的女人或者天晓得为什么指责我。” “您神经正常吗？”公爵差点从椅子上跳起来，“指责您什么？谁指责您？” “家里所有的人，母亲，姐姐们，父亲，ω公爵，甚至您那可恶的科利亚。如果他们不是直截了当地说，那么也是这么想的。我当着他们大家的面说这点的，对母亲、对父亲都说了，妈妈因此病了一整天，第二天亚历山德拉和爸爸对我说，我自己也不明白我是在撒谎，也不明白究竟说了什么话。我立即干脆地加以驳斥说，我已经明白了一切，明白了所有讲的话，我已经不是小孩子了，还在两年前我就故意读了保尔·德·科克＊的两本小说，为的是了解一切。妈妈一听说，差点没昏倒。” 公爵突然闪过一个奇怪的念头。他凝神望着阿格拉陋，莞尔一笑。 他甚至不相信，在他面前坐着的竟是那个高傲姑娘，她曾经那么傲慢地给他念加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇的信。他不能理解，这么一位目中无人、冷酷无情的美人，竟然会是这么一个孩子，也许，现在真的甚至不对所有的话都理解的孩子。 “您过去一直在家里生活吗，阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜？”他问，“我想说，您从来也没有到哪儿去上过什么学校，没有在贵族女子中学念过书？” “任何时候、任何地方都没有去过，一直在家里呆着，就像把我塞在瓶子里似的，然后直接从瓶子里放出来就嫁人；您干吗又笑了？我发觉，您好像也在嘲笑我，支持他们这一切，”她威严地显露出温色，补了一句，“请别生我气，我本来就不知道我究竟怎么了……我确信，您到这里来满怀着信心，认为我爱上了您，叫您来约会，”她气冲冲地断然说。 ＊法国通俗小说家（１７９４一１８７１）。 “昨天我确实曾害怕是这样，”公爵憨厚地说走了嘴（他非常窘困），“但今天我确信，您……” “什么！”阿格拉娅高声喊了出来，下唇突然问动起来，“您害怕我……您竟敢认为我……天哪！您大概怀疑，我叫您到这儿来是要诱您上圈套，然后让别人在这里撞见我们，迫使您跟我结婚……” “阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜！您怎么不容臊？在您纯洁之暇的心灵中怎么会产生这么肮脏的念头？我敢打赌，您自己也不相信您说的任何一句话……而且您自己也不知道，您说了些什么！” 阿格拉娅坐着，固执地低着头，仿佛自己也为刚才所说的话吓坏了。 一我根本不觉得害臊，”她低声说，“凭什么您知道我的心灵是纯洁无暇的？那时您怎么敢给我寄情书的？” “情书？我的信是情书！这封信是最恭敬的信，这封信是在我生活中最艰难的时刻内心的流露！我当时想起您就像见到光明一样……我……” “好了，好，好，”突然她打断他，但完全已经不是刚才那种口气，而是充满了懊悔，几乎吓坏了。她甚至向他俯下身去，依然竭力不照直望着他，想要触摸他的肩膀，为的是更加恳切地请求他不要生气，“好，”她十分不好意思地补充说，“我觉得，刚才我用了非常愚蠢的词语。我这是……为了试试您。您就当作仿佛没有说过这活，如果我得罪了您，那么请原谅。请别直盯着我看，转过脸去吧：您说这是很肮脏的念头：我这是故意说的，为了刺激您。有时候我自己也害怕我想说的话，可还是突然说出来了。您刚才说，您是在生活中最艰难的时刻写这封信的……我知道，这是在什么时候，”她又望着地上，轻轻地说。 “啊，假若您全能知道就好了！” “我全都知道！”她涌上一阵新的激动，大声嚷道，“那时您跟您与之私奔的这个下流女人在一套房间住了整整一个月……” 她说这话的时候已经不是脸红而是变苍白了。她突然从椅子上站起身，仿佛按捺不住自己，但马上就醒悟过来，又坐下了。她的下唇仍继续久久地哆嗦哼着。沉默延续了约１分钟。公爵被这突如其来的异常举动搞得惊讶得不得了，甚至不道该把它归咎干什么。 “我根本不爱您，”她突然仿佛是斩钉戳铁地说。 公爵没有回答；他们又沉默了约１分钟。 “我爱加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇……”她说得很快，但是勉强可闻，同时头则重得更低了。 “这不是真活，”公爵也几乎用低语说。 “这么说，我在撒谎？这是真话；我答应了他，是前天，就在这张长椅上。” 公爵大吃一惊：，有一瞬间陷了沉思之中。 “这不是真活，”他坚决地重复说，“这一切您全是杜撰。” “可真是谦恭得惊人！您要知道，他已经改正了；他爱我甚于爱自己的生命。他当我面烫了自己的手，仅仅为了表明爱我甚于爱自己的生命。” “烫了自己的手？” “是的，自己的手。您相信不相信，对我来说反正无所谓。” 公爵又默不作声。阿格拉娅的话里没有玩笑的意思；她生气了。 “怎么，既然是在这里发生的，他到这里来难道还随身带了蜡烛？不然我难以想象……”。 “是的……带了蜡烛。这有什么不可思议的？” “是整支蜡烛还是烛台上点剩的？” “嗯……是的……不是……是半支蜡烛……是蜡烛头……是整支蜡烛，反正一样，您别再纠缠了！……如果您知道。还带了火柴。他点燃了蜡烛，把手指放在蜡烛上整整半个小时；难通这不可能吗？” “我昨天看见过他；他的手指头好好的。” 阿格拉娅突然笑得跳了起来，完全像个孩子一样。 “知道吗，我为什么现在要撒谎？”忽然她转向公爵，带着最最孩子气的信赖和在唇间颤动的笑声说，“因为当你说谎话的时候，要是巧妙地插进什么不同寻常、怪诞离奇的事情，哈，知道吗，要是什么给人十分强烈印象的事或者甚至根本就没有的事，这样这个谎就变得可信得多。我注意这一点了。只不过我做的不高明，因为我不会……” 忽然她又阴沉起来，似乎醒悟过来了。 “如果当时，”她对公爵说，一边严肃甚至忧郁地望着他，“如果当时我向您念了‘可怜的骑士’的诗，那么我至少是想以此……为一件事赞扬您，但是同时也想为您的行为痛斥您，并让您看看，我全都知道……” “您对我……对那个您刚才用如此可怕的字眼提到的不幸的女人很不公正，阿格拉娅。” “因为我全都知道，全知道，所以才用这样的字眼！我知道，半年前，您怎么当着大家的面向她求婚。别打断我，您看到，我说话不加评论。此后她跟罗戈任跑了；接着您和她住在哪个乡间或城市，她又离开您去找什么人了。（阿格拉娅脸红得不得了。）后来她又回到罗戈任那里，他爱她爱得……发疯。最后。您也是个非常聪明的人，刚一知道她回到彼得堡了，立即就跟在她后面赶到这里来了。昨天晚上您挺身保护她，现在又在梦中见到了她……您瞧，我全都知道，您不是为了她，为了她才到这里来的吗？” “是的，是为了她，”公爵轻轻地回答说。他忧心忡忡、若有所思地低下头，同时他也不怀疑，阿格拉娅正用灼灼闪亮的目光盯着他。“为了她，只是为了知道……我不相信她限罗戈任在一起会有幸福。虽然……总之，我不知道，我在这里能为她做些什么，帮什么忙，但是我来了。” 他颤栗了一下。瞥了一眼阿格拉娅；她则憎恨地听着他说。 “如果您来而不知道来干什么，这就是说您很爱她，”她终于说。 “不，”公爵回答说，“不，我不爱她。啊，您要是知道就好了，每当我回忆起与她一起度过的那些时间，是多么可怕呀！” 在说这些话的时候他全身甚至滚过一阵颤栗。 “您把一切都说出来，”阿格拉娅说。 “这里没有丝毫您不能听的东西。为什么我正是想对您，对您一个人叙述这一切：，--我也不知道；也许，是因为我真的很爱您。这个不幸的女人深深确信，她是世界上最堕落、最淫荡的女人。哦，请别玷辱她，别向她扔石头。因为意识到自己不应蒙受的耻厚，她已经过分地折磨了自己！她有什么罪，哦，我的天哪！哦，她每时每刻都在发狂地呐喊，她不承认自己有罪，她是人们的牺牲品，是淫棍和坏蛋的牺牲品；但是无论她对您说什么，要知道，她首先自己不相信自己，她自己的全部良心都只相信，相反，是她……自己有罪。当我试图驱赶这层阴影时，她竟会那样痛苦，以致我只要记住这段可怕的时光，我心灵的创伤就永远也不会愈合。我的心就像一下子永远被刺穿了一样。她从我这儿逃走，您知道为什么吗？正是仅仅为了向我证明，她是个低贱的女人。但是最可怕的是，她自己也许并不知道，她只想向我证明这一点，她逃走是因为，她内心一定想要做一件可耻的事，为的是马上就对自己说：‘你这下犯了下新的耻辱，因此你是个低贱的东西！，哦，也许您并不理解这一点，阿格拉娅！知道吗，在她这种不断地意识到耻辱的状态中，也许包含着某种可怕的，反常的乐趣，仿佛是对谁的一种报复。有时候我开导她，使她仿佛又看到了自己周围的光明；但是她马上就表示愤慨，甚至到了这种程度：痛苦地指责我，说我把自己临驾于她之上（我连想都没想过这样），最后，对我的求婚直截了当地向我宣布，她不要求任何人给予任何高傲的同情，任何帮助，任何将她‘抬高到与自己同样地位’的做法。您昨天看见她了；难道您认为她跟这伙人在一起感到幸福，这就是她的因子？您不知道，她有多高的悟性，她能理解什么！有时候她甚至使我吃惊！” “您在那里也给她讲这样的……大道理？” “哦，不”公爵没有注意到问话的语气，若有所思地继续说，“我几乎一直保持沉默。我常常想说，但是，真的，我又不知道该说什么，知道吗，在有的时侯最后是根本不说话。哦，我是曾经受过她；哦，曾经很爱她……但是后来……后来……后来她全猜到了。” “猜到什么了？” “猜到我仅仅是怜悯她，但是我……现在已经不爱她了。” “为什么您知道，她可能真的爱上了那个……她跟他走的地主？” “不，我全部知道；她只不过是嘲笑他罢了。” “那么对您她从来也不取笑吗？” “不。她出于憎恨而嘲笑过我；哦，当时她义愤填膺，狠狠地责备我，她自己也痛苦！但是……后来……哦，别提了，别跟我提这点了！” 他双手捂住了自己的脸。 “可是您知道吗，她几乎每天都给我写信？” “这么说，这是真的！”公爵惶惶不安地失声喊了起来，“我听说有这事，但始终不想相信。” “您从谁那里听说的？”阿格拉娅惊吓得颤抖了一下。 “罗戈任昨天对我说的，只不过说得不大清楚。” “昨天？昨天上午？昨天什么时候？是在听音乐前还是后？” “在听音乐后，晚上１１点多。” “啊，算了，既然是罗戈任……您知道，在这些信里她给我写些什么？” “我丝毫也不感到惊奇；她是个疯女人。” “就是这些信（阿格拉娅从口袋里掏出带信封的三封信，将它们扔到公爵面前）。瞧她已经央求、劝说、诱惑我整整一星期了，要我嫁给您。她……是的，虽然是个疯子，但是很聪明，您说得很对，她比我聪明得多……她信中对我说，她爱上了我，每天都寻找机会哪怕是从远处看到我也好。她写道，您爱我，她知道这一点，也早就发现了这一点，在那里您曾跟她谈起过我。她希望看到您幸福，她深信，只有我能构成您的幸福……她写得这么荒唐……怪诞……我没有给任何人看这些信，我等您，您知道，这意味着什么？您一点也猜不到吗？” “这是精神失常，这是她发疯的证明，”公爵颤抖着明言说。 “您不在哭吧？” “不，阿格拉娅，不，我没有哭。”公爵看了她一眼。 “这件事我该怎么办？您能给我出主意吗？我总不能老是收到这些信吧！” “哦，别管她，我求求您！”公爵嚷了起来，“在这种愚昧中您又能做什么？我将尽一切努力，让她不再给您写信。” “如果是这样，那么您就是个没有良心的人！”阿格拉娅高声嚷道，“难道您没看见，她爱上的不是我，而是您，她爱的只是您！您能觉察她身上的一切心思，难道这一点却没有觉察出来？知道吗，这算什么，这些信意味着什么？这是嫉妒，这比嫉妒更甚！她……您以为，她真的像在这些信里写的一样要嫁给罗戈任？一旦我们结婚，她第二天就会自杀！” 公爵颤栗了一下，他的心跳都屏息了。但是他惊愕地望着阿格拉娅，承认面前这个孩子早已是个女人了，对他来说感到很奇怪。 “上帝可以见到，阿格拉娅，为了使她恢复平并和得到幸福，我愿意献出我的生命，但是……我已经不能爱她了，她也知道这一点！” “那就牺牲自己，这时您也是非常合适的！因为您就是这么一个大善人嘛。您也别称我阿格拉娅……您刚才就这么光称我阿格拉娅……您应该，您有义务使她得到新生，您应该再带她离开，使她的心平静下来，得到安抚，再说您可是爱她了！” “我不能这样牺牲自己，虽然我有一次曾经这样想过，而且……也许现在还在想这个问题。但是我确实知道，她跟我在一起非毁了不可，因此我要离开她。今天７点钟我该去见她，现在我也许不去了。她有那样的自尊心，她永远也不会原谅我的爱的，这样我们俩都会完蛋的！这是不自然的，但是这件事上一切都是不自然的。您说，她爱我，但这难道是爱吗？在我已经忍受那一切之后，难道还能有这样的爱情？！不，这是另一回事，而不是爱情！” “您多苍白呀！”突然阿格拉娅惊呼道。 “没关系，我睡得少，比较虚弱，我……当时我们确实谈论过您，阿格拉娅……” “这么说这是真的了？您真的会跟她谈论我，而且……而且那时总共才到我家一次，怎么会爱我呢？” “我不知道怎么会的；我当时混沌蒙昧，我幻想着……也许是幻觉中看到了新的曙光。我不知道对您作为第一个对象是怎么想的。我那时给您写信说我不知道，这是真话。这一切仅仅是幻想，是由于那时可怕的境遇产生的……后来我开始用功学习，本来我是三年也不会到彼得堡来的……” “这么说，您是为她来的？” 阿格拉娅的声音有些发颤。 “是的，为她。” 双方都陷于阴郁的沉默，过了两分钟，阿格拉娅站起身。 “既然您说，”开始她不太坚定地说，既然您自己相信，这个……您的女人是个疯子，那么她那些疯疯癫癫的古怪念头跟我可毫不相干……列夫·尼古拉伊奇，请您把这三封信拿去。代我扔还给她！如果她，”突然阿格拉娅大声嚷嚷起来，“如果她敢再寄一行字给我，那么请告诉她，我就要向父亲告发，让人把她送进感化院……” 公爵跳了起来，惊恐地望着勃然发怒的阿格拉娅，突然他面前仿佛降落了一层雾幛…… “您不可能有这样的感觉……这不是真话！”他喃喃着说。 “这是真话！是真话！”阿格拉娅几乎失去自制地喊着。 “真话是什么？是什么真话？”在他们身边响起了一个惊恐的声音。 在她们面前站着叶莉扎维塔·普罗科菲耶夫娜。 “真话就是我要嫁给加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇！就是我爱加夫里拉·阿尔达利翁诺维奇，并且明天就与他从家里逃走！”阿格拉娅冲着她说，“您听见了吗？您的好奇心满足了吧？您对此满意了吧？” 说完她就跑回家去了。 “不，我的公爵爷，您现在别走。”

Part 3 Chapter 7 "I HAD a small pocket pistol. I had procured it while still a boy, at that droll age when the stories of duels and highwaymen begin to delight one, and when one imagines oneself nobly standing fire at some future day, in a duel. "There were a couple of old bullets in the bag which contained the pistol, and powder enough in an old flask for two or three charges. "The pistol was a wretched thing, very crooked and wouldn't carry farther than fifteen paces at the most. However, it would send your skull flying well enough if you pressed the muzzle of it against your temple. "I determined to die at Pavlofsk at sunrise, in the park--so as to make no commotion in the house. "This 'explanation' will make the matter clear enough to the police. Students of psychology, and anyone else who likes, may make what they please of it. I should not like this paper, however, to be made public. I request the prince to keep a copy himself, and to give a copy to Aglaya Ivanovna Epanchin. This is my last will and testament. As for my skeleton, I bequeath it to the Medical Academy for the benefit of science. "I recognize no jurisdiction over myself, and I know that I am now beyond the power of laws and judges. "A little while ago a very amusing idea struck me. What if I were now to commit some terrible crime--murder ten fellow-creatures, for instance, or anything else that is thought most shocking and dreadful in this world--what a dilemma my judges would be in, with a criminal who only has a fortnight to live in any case, now that the rack and other forms of torture are abolished! Why, I should die comfortably in their own hospital--in a warm, clean room, with an attentive doctor--probably much more comfortably than I should at home. "I don't understand why people in my position do not oftener indulge in such ideas--if only for a joke! Perhaps they do! Who knows! There are plenty of merry souls among us! "But though I do not recognize any jurisdiction over myself, still I know that I shall be judged, when I am nothing but a voiceless lump of clay; therefore I do not wish to go before I have left a word of reply--the reply of a free man--not one forced to justify himself--oh no! I have no need to ask forgiveness of anyone. I wish to say a word merely because I happen to desire it of my own free will. "Here, in the first place, comes a strange thought! "Who, in the name of what Law, would think of disputing my full personal right over the fortnight of life left to me? What jurisdiction can be brought to bear upon the case? Who would wish me, not only to be sentenced, but to endure the sentence to the end? Surely there exists no man who would wish such a thing--why should anyone desire it? For the sake of morality? Well, I can understand that if I were to make an attempt upon my own life while in the enjoyment of full health and vigour--my life which might have been 'useful,' etc., etc.--morality might reproach me, according to the old routine, for disposing of my life without permission--or whatever its tenet may be. But now, NOW, when my sentence is out and my days numbered! How can morality have need of my last breaths, and why should I die listening to the consolations offered by the prince, who, without doubt, would not omit to demonstrate that death is actually a benefactor to me? (Christians like him always end up with that--it is their pet theory.) And what do they want with their ridiculous 'Pavlofsk trees'? To sweeten my last hours? Cannot they understand that the more I forget myself, the more I let myself become attached to these last illusions of life and love, by means of which they try to hide from me Meyer's wall, and all that is so plainly written on it--the more unhappy they make me? What is the use of all your nature to me--all your parks and trees, your sunsets and sunrises, your blue skies and your self-satisfied faces--when all this wealth of beauty and happiness begins with the fact that it accounts me--only me--one too many! What is the good of all this beauty and glory to me, when every second, every moment, I cannot but be aware that this little fly which buzzes around my head in the sun's rays--even this little fly is a sharer and participator in all the glory of the universe, and knows its place and is happy in it;--while I--only I, am an outcast, and have been blind to the fact hitherto, thanks to my simplicity! Oh! I know well how the prince and others would like me, instead of indulging in all these wicked words of my own, to sing, to the glory and triumph of morality, that well-known verse of Gilbert's: "'0, puissent voir longtemps votre beaute sacree Tant d'amis, sourds a mes adieux! Qu'ils meurent pleins de jours, que leur mort soit pleuree, Qu'un ami leur ferme les yeux!' "But believe me, believe me, my simple-hearted friends, that in this highly moral verse, in this academical blessing to the world in general in the French language, is hidden the intensest gall and bitterness; but so well concealed is the venom, that I dare say the poet actually persuaded himself that his words were full of the tears of pardon and peace, instead of the bitterness of disappointment and malice, and so died in the delusion. "Do you know there is a limit of ignominy, beyond which man's consciousness of shame cannot go, and after which begins satisfaction in shame? Well, of course humility is a great force in that sense, I admit that--though not in the sense in which religion accounts humility to be strength! "Religion!--I admit eternal life--and perhaps I always did admit it. "Admitted that consciousness is called into existence by the will of a Higher Power; admitted that this consciousness looks out upon the world and says 'I am;' and admitted that the Higher Power wills that the consciousness so called into existence, be suddenly extinguished (for so--for some unexplained reason--it is and must be)--still there comes the eternal question--why must I be humble through all this? Is it not enough that I am devoured, without my being expected to bless the power that devours me? Surely--surely I need not suppose that Somebody--there--will be offended because I do not wish to live out the fortnight allowed me? I don't believe it. "It is much simpler, and far more likely, to believe that my death is needed--the death of an insignificant atom--in order to fulfil the general harmony of the universe--in order to make even some plus or minus in the sum of existence. Just as every day the death of numbers of beings is necessary because without their annihilation the rest cannot live on--(although we must admit that the idea is not a particularly grand one in itself!) "However--admit the fact! Admit that without such perpetual devouring of one another the world cannot continue to exist, or could never have been organized--I am ever ready to confess that I cannot understand why this is so--but I'll tell you what I DO know, for certain. If I have once been given to understand and realize that I AM--what does it matter to me that the world is organized on a system full of errors and that otherwise it cannot be organized at all? Who will or can judge me after this? Say what you like--the thing is impossible and unjust! "And meanwhile I have never been able, in spite of my great desire to do so, to persuade myself that there is no future existence, and no Providence. "The fact of the matter is that all this DOES exist, but that we know absolutely nothing about the future life and its laws! "But it is so difficult, and even impossible to understand, that surely I am not to be blamed because I could not fathom the incomprehensible? "Of course I know they say that one must be obedient, and of course, too, the prince is one of those who say so: that one must be obedient without questions, out of pure goodness of heart, and that for my worthy conduct in this matter I shall meet with reward in another world. We degrade God when we attribute our own ideas to Him, out of annoyance that we cannot fathom His ways. "Again, I repeat, I cannot be blamed because I am unable to understand that which it is not given to mankind to fathom. Why am I to be judged because I could not comprehend the Will and Laws of Providence? No, we had better drop religion. "And enough of this. By the time I have got so far in the reading of my document the sun will be up and the huge force of his rays will be acting upon the living world. So be it. I shall die gazing straight at the great Fountain of life and power; I do not want this life! "If I had had the power to prevent my own birth I should certainly never have consented to accept existence under such ridiculous conditions. However, I have the power to end my existence, although I do but give back days that are already numbered. It is an insignificant gift, and my revolt is equally insignificant. "Final explanation: I die, not in the least because I am unable to support these next three weeks. Oh no, I should find strength enough, and if I wished it I could obtain consolation from the thought of the injury that is done me. But I am not a French poet, and I do not desire such consolation. And finally, nature has so limited my capacity for work or activity of any kind, in allotting me but three weeks of time, that suicide is about the only thing left that I can begin and end in the time of my own free will. "Perhaps then I am anxious to take advantage of my last chance of doing something for myself. A protest is sometimes no small thing." The explanation was finished; Hippolyte paused at last. There is, in extreme cases, a final stage of cynical candour when a nervous man, excited, and beside himself with emotion, will be afraid of nothing and ready for any sort of scandal, nay, glad of it. The extraordinary, almost unnatural, tension of the nerves which upheld Hippolyte up to this point, had now arrived at this final stage. This poor feeble boy of eighteen--exhausted by disease--looked for all the world as weak and frail as a leaflet torn from its parent tree and trembling in the breeze; but no sooner had his eye swept over his audience, for the first time during the whole of the last hour, than the most contemptuous, the most haughty expression of repugnance lighted up his face. He defied them all, as it were. But his hearers were indignant, too; they rose to their feet with annoyance. Fatigue, the wine consumed, the strain of listening so long, all added to the disagreeable impression which the reading had made upon them. Suddenly Hippolyte jumped up as though he had been shot. "The sun is rising," he cried, seeing the gilded tops of the trees, and pointing to them as to a miracle. "See, it is rising now!" "Well, what then? Did you suppose it wasn't going to rise?" asked Ferdishenko. "It's going to be atrociously hot again all day," said Gania, with an air of annoyance, taking his hat. "A month of this... Are you coming home, Ptitsin?" Hippolyte listened to this in amazement, almost amounting to stupefaction. Suddenly he became deadly pale and shuddered. "You manage your composure too awkwardly. I see you wish to insult me," he cried to Gania. "You--you are a cur!" He looked at Gania with an expression of malice. "What on earth is the matter with the boy? What phenomenal feeble-mindedness!" exclaimed Ferdishenko. "Oh, he's simply a fool," said Gania. Hippolyte braced himself up a little. "I understand, gentlemen," he began, trembling as before, and stumbling over every word," that I have deserved your resentment, and--and am sorry that I should have troubled you with this raving nonsense" (pointing to his article),"or rather, I am sorry that I have not troubled you enough." He smiled feebly. "Have I troubled you, Evgenie Pavlovitch?" He suddenly turned on Evgenie with this question. "Tell me now, have I troubled you or not?" "Well, it was a little drawn out, perhaps; but--" "Come, speak out! Don't lie, for once in your life--speak out!" continued Hippolyte, quivering with agitation. "Oh, my good sir, I assure you it's entirely the same to me. Please leave me in peace," said Evgenie, angrily, turning his back on him. "Good-night, prince," said Ptitsin, approaching his host. "What are you thinking of? Don't go, he'll blow his brains out in a minute!" cried Vera Lebedeff, rushing up to Hippolyte and catching hold of his hands in a torment of alarm. "What are you thinking of? He said he would blow his brains out at sunrise." "Oh, he won't shoot himself!" cried several voices, sarcastically. "Gentlemen, you'd better look out," cried Colia, also seizing Hippolyte by the hand. "Just look at him! Prince, what are you thinking of?" Vera and Colia, and Keller, and Burdovsky were all crowding round Hippolyte now and holding him down. "He has the right--the right--"-murmured Burdovsky. "Excuse me, prince, but what are your arrangements?" asked Lebedeff, tipsy and exasperated, going up to Muishkin. "What do you mean by 'arrangements'?" "No, no, excuse me! I'm master of this house, though I do not wish to lack respect towards you. You are master of the house too, in a way; but I can't allow this sort of thing--" "He won't shoot himself; the boy is only playing the fool," said General Ivolgin, suddenly and unexpectedly, with indignation. "I know he won't, I know he won't, general; but I--I'm master here!" "Listen, Mr. Terentieff," said Ptitsin, who had bidden the prince good-night, and was now holding out his hand to Hippolyte; "I think you remark in that manuscript of yours, that you bequeath your skeleton to the Academy. Are you referring to your own skeleton--I mean, your very bones?" "Yes, my bones, I--" "Quite so, I see; because, you know, little mistakes have occurred now and then. There was a case--" Why do you tease him?" cried the prince, suddenly. "You've moved him to tears," added Ferdishenko. But Hippolyte was by no means weeping. He was about to move from his place, when his four guards rushed at him and seized him once more. There was a laugh at this. "He led up to this on purpose. He took the trouble of writing all that so that people should come and grab him by the arm," observed Rogojin. "Good-night, prince. What a time we've sat here, my very bones ache!" "If you really intended to shoot yourself, Terentieff," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, laughing, "if I were you, after all these compliments, I should just not shoot myself in order to vex them all." "They are very anxious to see me blow my brains out," said Hippolyte, bitterly. "Yes, they'll be awfully annoyed if they don't see it." "Then you think they won't see it?" "I am not trying to egg you on. On the contrary, I think it very likely that you may shoot yourself; but the principal thing is to keep cool," said Evgenie with a drawl, and with great condescension. "I only now perceive what a terrible mistake I made in reading this article to them," said Hippolyte, suddenly, addressing Evgenie, and looking at him with an expression of trust and confidence, as though he were applying to a friend for counsel. "Yes, it's a droll situation; I really don't know what advice to give you," replied Evgenie, laughing. Hippolyte gazed steadfastly at him, but said nothing. To look at him one might have supposed that he was unconscious at intervals. "Excuse me," said Lebedeff, "but did you observe the young gentleman's style? 'I'll go and blow my brains out in the park,' says he,' so as not to disturb anyone.' He thinks he won't disturb anybody if he goes three yards away, into the park, and blows his brains out there." "Gentlemen--" began the prince. "No, no, excuse me, most revered prince," Lebedeff interrupted, excitedly. "Since you must have observed yourself that this is no joke, and since at least half your guests must also have concluded that after all that has been said this youth MUST blow his brains out for honour's sake--I--as master of this house, and before these witnesses, now call upon you to take steps." "Yes, but what am I to do, Lebedeff? What steps am I to take? I am ready." "I'll tell you. In the first place he must immediately deliver up the pistol which he boasted of, with all its appurtenances. If he does this I shall consent to his being allowed to spend the night in this house--considering his feeble state of health, and of course conditionally upon his being under proper supervision. But tomorrow he must go elsewhere. Excuse me, prince! Should he refuse to deliver up his weapon, then I shall instantly seize one of his arms and General Ivolgin the other, and we shall hold him until the police arrive and take the matter into their own hands. Mr. Ferdishenko will kindly fetch them." At this there was a dreadful noise; Lebedeff danced about in his excitement; Ferdishenko prepared to go for the police; Gania frantically insisted that it was all nonsense, "for nobody was going to shoot themselves." Evgenie Pavlovitch said nothing. "Prince," whispered Hippolyte, suddenly, his eyes all ablaze, "you don't suppose that I did not foresee all this hatred?" He looked at the prince as though he expected him to reply, for a moment. "Enough!" he added at length, and addressing the whole company, he cried: "It's all my fault, gentlemen! Lebedeff, here's the key," (he took out a small bunch of keys); "this one, the last but one--Colia will show you--Colia, where's Colia?" he cried, looking straight at Colia and not seeing him. "Yes, he'll show you; he packed the bag with me this morning. Take him up, Colia; my bag is upstairs in the prince's study, under the table. Here's the key, and in the little case you'll find my pistol and the powder, and all. Colia packed it himself, Mr. Lebedeff; he'll show you; but it's on condition that tomorrow morning, when I leave for Petersburg, you will give me back my pistol, do you hear? I do this for the prince's sake, not yours." "Capital, that's much better!" cried Lebedeff, and seizing the key he made off in haste. Colia stopped a moment as though he wished to say something; but Lebedeff dragged him away. Hippolyte looked around at the laughing guests. The prince observed that his teeth were chattering as though in a violent attack of ague. "What brutes they all are!" he whispered to the prince. Whenever he addressed him he lowered his voice. "Let them alone, you're too weak now--" Yes, directly; I'll go away directly. I'll--" Suddenly he embraced Muishkin. "Perhaps you think I am mad, eh?" he asked him, laughing very strangely. "No, but you--" "Directly, directly! Stand still a moment, I wish to look in your eyes; don't speak--stand so--let me look at you! I am bidding farewell to mankind." He stood so for ten seconds, gazing at the prince, motionless, deadly pale, his temples wet with perspiration; he held the prince's hand in a strange grip, as though afraid to let him go. "Hippolyte, Hippolyte, what is the matter with you?" cried Muishkin. "Directly! There, that's enough. I'll lie down directly. I must drink to the sun's health. I wish to--I insist upon it! Let go!" He seized a glass from the table, broke away from the prince, and in a moment had reached the terrace steps. The prince made after him, but it so happened that at this moment Evgenie Pavlovitch stretched out his hand to say good-night. The next instant there was a general outcry, and then followed a few moments of indescribable excitement. Reaching the steps, Hippolyte had paused, holding the glass in his left hand while he put his right hand into his coat pocket. Keller insisted afterwards that he had held his right hand in his pocket all the while, when he was speaking to the prince, and that he had held the latter's shoulder with his left hand only. This circumstance, Keller affirmed, had led him to feel some suspicion from the first. However this may be, Keller ran after Hippolyte, but he was too late. He caught sight of something flashing in Hippolyte's right hand, and saw that it was a pistol. He rushed at him, but at that very instant Hippolyte raised the pistol to his temple and pulled the trigger. There followed a sharp metallic click, but no report. When Keller seized the would-be suicide, the latter fell forward into his arms, probably actually believing that he was shot. Keller had hold of the pistol now. Hippolyte was immediately placed in a chair, while the whole company thronged around excitedly, talking and asking each other questions. Every one of them had heard the snap of the trigger, and yet they saw a live and apparently unharmed man before them. Hippolyte himself sat quite unconscious of what was going on, and gazed around with a senseless expression. Lebedeff and Colia came rushing up at this moment. "What is it?" someone asked, breathlessly--"A misfire?" "Perhaps it wasn't loaded," said several voices. "It's loaded all right," said Keller, examining the pistol, "but--" "What! did it miss fire?" "There was no cap in it," Keller announced. It would be difficult to describe the pitiable scene that now followed. The first sensation of alarm soon gave place to amusement; some burst out laughing loud and heartily, and seemed to find a malicious satisfaction in the joke. Poor Hippolyte sobbed hysterically; he wrung his hands; he approached everyone in turn--even Ferdishenko--and took them by both hands, and swore solemnly that he had forgotten--absolutely forgotten-- "accidentally, and not on purpose,"--to put a cap in--that he "had ten of them, at least, in his pocket." He pulled them out and showed them to everyone; he protested that he had not liked to put one in beforehand for fear of an accidental explosion in his pocket. That he had thought he would have lots of time to put it in afterwards--when required--and, that, in the heat of the moment, he had forgotten all about it. He threw himself upon the prince, then on Evgenie Pavlovitch. He entreated Keller to give him back the pistol, and he'd soon show them all that "his honour--his honour,"--but he was "dishonoured, now, for ever!" He fell senseless at last--and was carried into the prince's study. Lebedeff, now quite sobered down, sent for a doctor; and he and his daughter, with Burdovsky and General Ivolgin, remained by the sick man's couch. When he was carried away unconscious, Keller stood in the middle of the room, and made the following declaration to the company in general, in a loud tone of voice, with emphasis upon each word. "Gentlemen, if any one of you casts any doubt again, before me, upon Hippolyte's good faith, or hints that the cap was forgotten intentionally, or suggests that this unhappy boy was acting a part before us, I beg to announce that the person so speaking shall account to me for his words." No one replied. The company departed very quickly, in a mass. Ptitsin, Gania, and Rogojin went away together. The prince was much astonished that Evgenie Pavlovitch changed his mind, and took his departure without the conversation he had requested. "Why, you wished to have a talk with me when the others left?" he said. "Quite so," said Evgenie, sitting down suddenly beside him, "but I have changed my mind for the time being. I confess, I am too disturbed, and so, I think, are you; and the matter as to which I wished to consult you is too serious to tackle with one's mind even a little disturbed; too serious both for myself and for you. You see, prince, for once in my life I wish to perform an absolutely honest action, that is, an action with no ulterior motive; and I think I am hardly in a condition to talk of it just at this moment, and--and--well, we'll discuss it another time. Perhaps the matter may gain in clearness if we wait for two or three days--just the two or three days which I must spend in Petersburg." Here he rose again from his chair, so that it seemed strange that he should have thought it worth while to sit down at all. The prince thought, too, that he looked vexed and annoyed, and not nearly so friendly towards himself as he had been earlier in the night. "I suppose you will go to the sufferer's bedside now?" he added. "Yes, I am afraid..." began the prince. "Oh, you needn't fear! He'll live another six weeks all right. Very likely he will recover altogether; but I strongly advise you to pack him off tomorrow." "I think I may have offended him by saying nothing just now. I am afraid he may suspect that I doubted his good faith,--about shooting himself, you know. What do you think, Evgenie Pavlovitch?" "Not a bit of it! You are much too good to him; you shouldn't care a hang about what he thinks. I have heard of such things before, but never came across, till tonight, a man who would actually shoot himself in order to gain a vulgar notoriety, or blow out his brains for spite, if he finds that people don't care to pat him on the back for his sanguinary intentions. But what astonishes me more than anything is the fellow's candid confession of weakness. You'd better get rid of him tomorrow, in any case. "Do you think he will make another attempt?" "Oh no, not he, not now! But you have to be very careful with this sort of gentleman. Crime is too often the last resource of these petty nonentities. This young fellow is quite capable of cutting the throats of ten people, simply for a lark, as he told us in his 'explanation.' I assure you those confounded words of his will not let me sleep." "I think you disturb yourself too much." "What an extraordinary person you are, prince! Do you mean to say that you doubt the fact that he is capable of murdering ten men?" "I daren't say, one way or the other; all this is very strange-- but--" "Well, as you like, just as you like," said Evgenie Pavlovitch, irritably. "Only you are such a plucky fellow, take care you don't get included among the ten victims!" "Oh, he is much more likely not to kill anyone at all," said the prince, gazing thoughtfully at Evgenie. The latter laughed disagreeably. "Well, au revoir! Did you observe that he 'willed' a copy of his confession to Aglaya Ivanovna?" "Yes, I did; I am thinking of it." "In connection with 'the ten,' eh?" laughed Evgenie, as he left the room. An hour later, towards four o'clock, the prince went into the park. He had endeavoured to fall asleep, but could not, owing to the painful beating of his heart. He had left things quiet and peaceful; the invalid was fast asleep, and the doctor, who had been called in, had stated that there was no special danger. Lebedeff, Colia, and Burdovsky were lying down in the sick-room, ready to take it in turns to watch. There was nothing to fear, therefore, at home. But the prince's mental perturbation increased every moment. He wandered about the park, looking absently around him, and paused in astonishment when he suddenly found himself in the empty space with the rows of chairs round it, near the Vauxhall. The look of the place struck him as dreadful now: so he turned round and went by the path which he had followed with the Epanchins on the way to the band, until he reached the green bench which Aglaya had pointed out for their rendezvous. He sat down on it and suddenly burst into a loud fit of laughter, immediately followed by a feeling of irritation. His disturbance of mind continued; he felt that he must go away somewhere, anywhere. Above his head some little bird sang out, of a sudden; he began to peer about for it among the leaves. Suddenly the bird darted out of the tree and away, and instantly he thought of the "fly buzzing about in the sun's rays" that Hippolyte had talked of; how that it knew its place and was a participator in the universal life, while he alone was an "outcast." This picture had impressed him at the time, and he meditated upon it now. An old, forgotten memory awoke in his brain, and suddenly burst into clearness and light. It was a recollection of Switzerland, during the first year of his cure, the very first months. At that time he had been pretty nearly an idiot still; he could not speak properly, and had difficulty in understanding when others spoke to him. He climbed the mountain-side, one sunny morning, and wandered long and aimlessly with a certain thought in his brain, which would not become clear. Above him was the blazing sky, below, the lake; all around was the horizon, clear and infinite. He looked out upon this, long and anxiously. He remembered how he had stretched out his arms towards the beautiful, boundless blue of the horizon, and wept, and wept. What had so tormented him was the idea that he was a stranger to all this, that he was outside this glorious festival. What was this universe? What was this grand, eternal pageant to which he had yearned from his childhood up, and in which he could never take part? Every morning the same magnificent sun; every morning the same rainbow in the waterfall; every evening the same glow on the snow-mountains. Every little fly that buzzed in the sun's rays was a singer in the universal chorus, "knew its place, and was happy in it. "Every blade of grass grew and was happy. Everything knew its path and loved it, went forth with a song and returned with a song; only he knew nothing, understood nothing, neither men nor words, nor any of nature's voices; he was a stranger and an outcast. Oh, he could not then speak these words, or express all he felt! He had been tormented dumbly; but now it appeared to him that he must have said these very words--even then--and that Hippolyte must have taken his picture of the little fly from his tears and words of that time. He was sure of it, and his heart beat excitedly at the thought, he knew not why. He fell asleep on the bench; but his mental disquiet continued through his slumbers. Just before he dozed off, the idea of Hippolyte murdering ten men flitted through his brain, and he smiled at the absurdity of such a thought. Around him all was quiet; only the flutter and whisper of the leaves broke the silence, but broke it only to cause it to appear yet more deep and still. He dreamed many dreams as he sat there, and all were full of disquiet, so that he shuddered every moment. At length a woman seemed to approach him. He knew her, oh! he knew her only too well. He could always name her and recognize her anywhere; but, strange, she seemed to have quite a different face from hers, as he had known it, and he felt a tormenting desire to be able to say she was not the same woman. In the face before him there was such dreadful remorse and horror that he thought she must be a criminal, that she must have just committed some awful crime. Tears were trembling on her white cheek. She beckoned him, but placed her finger on her lip as though to warn him that he must follow her very quietly. His heart froze within him. He wouldn't, he COULDN'T confess her to be a criminal, and yet he felt that something dreadful would happen the next moment, something which would blast his whole life. She seemed to wish to show him something, not far off, in the park. He rose from his seat in order to follow her, when a bright, clear peal of laughter rang out by his side. He felt somebody's hand suddenly in his own, seized it, pressed it hard, and awoke. Before him stood Aglaya, laughing aloud. 我有一支袖珍小手熗，在我还是个孩子的时候，我就开始玩这东西了，那是一个可笑的年龄，会开始喜欢有关决斗、强盗袭击的故事，想象着有人向我挑起决斗，我又怎么气字轩昂地面对对方的熗口。在放小手熗的抽屉里还找到了两颗子弹，而在角制火药筒里则有够装三发的火药。这把手熗很糟糕，打出去的子弹总是偏离的，射程总共才１５步；但是，如果紧贴着太阳穴开熗，当然是能叫头颅搬家的。 我打算在帕夫洛夫斯克日出时去公园里死，这样可以不会惊动别墅里的任何人。我的《解释》足以向警方说明全部情况。爱好心理学的人以及有必要了解的人会从中得出他们愿意得出的结论，但是，我不愿意将这份手稿公之于众。我请求公爵保留一份在自己那里，另一份交给阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜·叶潘钦娜。这是我的意愿。我把我的骨骼遗赠给医学院以利于科学研究。 我不承认要对我进行审判的法官，我知道，我现在不受法庭的任何约束。还是不久前有个提议令我棒腹大笑：假若我突然想起现在要杀死随便哪个人，哪怕一下子杀死十个人，或者做什么被认为是这个世界上最可怕的事，在废除了体罚和肉刑的情况下，面对我这么一个只能活两三个星期的人，法庭会陷于何种尴尬的境地？我会在他们医院里受到医生的悉心治疗，会舒舒服服，暖暖和和地死去，也许，比在自己家里还舒服、暖和得多。我不明白，处在我这样状况的人怎么想不到这样的念头，哪怕仅仅是为了开个玩笑？不过，也许想到了；即使在我们中间也能找到许多寻开心的人。 但是，即使我不承认对我进行审判，我还是知道我会受到审判的，那时我已是一个又聋又哑的被告人。我不想不留一句答词就离开人世，我的答词是自由的而不是被迫作出的，也不是为了辩护，－－哦，不！我无须向谁请求宽恕，也没有什么要请求宽恕，--就因为我自己愿意这样做。 首先，这里有一个奇怪的思想：谁会想出来现在对我享有二三周生命期限的权利提出异议？凭什么？出于什么动机？这又关法庭什么事？究竟谁需要让我不仅仅判刑，而且还要乖乖地服满刑期？难道真的有人需要这样？是为了道德？我迂明白，假如我在身强力壮、风华正茂的时候加害于自己的生命，而它“本来是能有益于我亲近的人的”等等，那么按照陈腐的因循守旧的观念，道德还是会谴责我擅自处理自己的生命，或者什么它自己才知道的罪名。但是现在，在已经对我宣读了刑期的现在呢？除了您的生命之外，哪一种道德还需要您交出生命的最后一个原子时发生的最后一声嘶哑的感叹？而那时您还在倾听公爵的安慰，他用自己的基督精神来论证，一定会得出一个幸福的思想：实际上您死去甚至更好。（像他这样的基督教徒总是会接受这种思想的，这是他们老生常谈的话题。）他们讲那些可笑的“帕夫洛夫斯克的树木”想干什么？是想使我生命的最后时辰减轻痛苦？他们想用生命和爱的幻影来遮挡我的梅那罗夫墙和那上面所写的坦诚纯朴的一切，难道他们不明白，我越是想忘怀，越是沉缅于这最后幻影，他们就越使我不幸？整个这不散的筵席从一开始就认为唯独我是多余的人，那么你们的自然，你们的帕夫洛夫斯克公园，你们的日出日落，你们的蔚蓝的天空和你们的万事满意的脸庞，对于我来说又有何用呢？所有这一切美景对我来说又有什么意义？我现在每分每秒应该也必须知道，甚至现在沐浴着阳光、在我身边嗡嗡叫的这只小小的苍蝇，也是这场筵席和合唱的参加者，也知道自己的地位，并热爱自己的这一席之地和感到幸福，而唯独我一人是个被人唾弃的人，仅仅因为我的怯懦畏缩。才至今还不明白这一点！哦，我可是知道的，公爵和他们大伙儿多么想把我引向那一步：使我不讲所有这些“狡猾和恶毒的”话，而出于品行端正和为了道德的胜利来吟唱一节米尔瓦的经典名诗： Ｏ，ｐｕｉｓｓｅｎｔ ｖｏｌｒ ｖｏｔｒｅ ｂｅａｕｔｅ ｓａｃｒｅｅ　　Ｔａｎｔ　ｄ’ａｍｉｓ ｓｏｕｄｓ ａ ｍｅｓ ａｄｉｅｗ！　　Ｑｕｉｌｓ ｍｅｕｒｅｎｔ ｐｅｉｎｓ ｄｅ ｊｏｕｒｓ，ｑｕｅ ｌｅｕｒ ｍｏｒｔ ｓｏｉｔ ｐｌｅｕｒｅｅ，　　Ｑｄ’ｕｎ ａｍｉ ｌｅｕｒ ｆｅｒｍｅ ｌｅｓ ｙｅｕｘ！＊ 但是请相信，天真纯朴的人们，请相信，就是在这节品格高尚的哀诗中，在这种用法语诗向世界表示的经院式祝福中，也潜藏着那么多隐蔽的痛苦，那么多不可调和、在韵律中自行缓解的怨恨，甚至诗人本人也许也会陷于窘境，把这种怨恨当作是平静的泪水，而且就这样死去；愿他的灵魂安息！要知道，意识到自己的微不足道和软弱无力这样的耻辱是有限度的，人已经不能超过这个限度，并且正是从这个极限开始在自己的耻辱中感受到巨大的满足……当然喏，在这个意义上顺忍是一种巨大的力量，我承认这一点，虽然这不是宗教把顺忍看做是力量那样一种含义。 宗教！我承认永恒的生命，也许，过去也一直承认的。就让最高意志的力量点燃意识，就让这意识环顾世界后说：“我存在着！”，就让这最高力量突然确定这意识消亡，因为那里为了某种需要就是这样安排的（甚至不做解释究竟为了什么），需要这样，就让它这样吧，我可以承认这一切，但是，终究仍然有一个永恒的问题：在这种情况下为了什么需要我的顺忍？难道不能就这么把我吃了而不要求我赞美把我吃了？难道那里真的有人会因为我不想继续活两个星期而生气？我不相信这一点；而且正确得多的假设是，这里需要我这微不足道的生命，一个原子的生命，不过是为了某种普遍的总体协调添加一分子，为了某个正和负，为了某种对比等等，等等，就像每天需要牺牲许许多多生物的生命一样，没有它们的死亡剩下的世界就不可能维持（虽然应该指出，这本身并不是很豁达的思想）。但是随它去吧！我同意，不然的话，也就是要是没有不断的彼此消亡，世界是怎么也不可能安排好的；我甚至愿意承认，对于这种安排我一点也不理解，但是有一点我肯定知道：既然已经让我意识到“我存在着”，那么世界安排得有错误，不然它就不能维持，这些还关我什么事？这以后谁会来指责我了为了什么指责我？随您怎么想，这一切是不可能的，不公平的。 ＊哦，对我离世置若罔闻的朋友，但愿他们看见您神圣的美！但愿他们在暮年寿终正寝，但愿有人对他们的死哀位，但愿朋友为他们合上双眼。 然而，不管我怀有多大的愿望，我从来也不能设想没有未来的生命和天命。更确切些说，这一切是存在的，但我们对未来的生命及其规律丝毫不理解。但是，既然是这么困难、甚至完全不可能理解这一点，那么，难道我要对无力理喻这无法理解的事物负责吗？确实，他们说（当然，公爵也跟他们在一起），这件事上需要听从，需要不加反对地、唯唯诺诺地听从，在阴间一定会奖赏我的这种温顺。我们血于不能理解天命而烦恼，常常用我们的概念来解释它，因而就过分地贬低了它。但是我又要重复说，既然不可能理解它，那么也很难对不让人理解的东西负责，既然这样，又怎么能指责我不理解天命的真正意志和规律呢？不，最好还是撇下宗教不谈。 再说也已经谈够了，当我将谈到这里的时候，太阳一定已经升起，“在天空中发出轰响”，无穷宏伟的力量倾泻在普天之下。随它去吧！我将直接望着生命和力量的源泉而死去，我不想要这生命了！如果我有权不降生到世上来，我一定不会接受在这样嘲弄人的条件下生存，但是我还有权力死去，虽然我献出的已是屈指可数的日子。权力不大，所以造反也不大。 最后一点说明：我死完全不是因为不能承受这三个星期；哦，我有足够的力量，假若我愿意，那么光是意识到我听遭受的委屈就足以安慰了；但我不是法国诗人，也不想要这样的安慰。说到底，也是一种罪恶初诱惑：大自然限制我的活动到了这样的程度，只判给我三个星期的时间，也许，自杀是唯一一件我还能按照自己的意愿来得及开始和结束的，事，也好，也许我是想到用一下最后的可能性来办这件事？抗议有时不是一桩小事……” “解释”结尾了；伊波利特终于停下来了…… 在极端情况下坦率可以达到恬不知耻至极的程度，当一个神经质的人受了刺激并失去自制力的时候，他已经什么都不怕，甚至准备闹出任何荒唐事来，还会为此而高兴；他会扑向人们，而同时自己则怀有一个模糊但坚定的目的，一分钟后一定要从钟楼上跳下去，以此一下子了结在这种情况下会有的一切困惑。逐渐降临的体力衰竭通常是这种状态的征兆。到目前为止一直支撑着伊波利特的异常的、不自然的紧张已经达到了最后阶段。这个１８岁的小年轻被疾病耗尽了元气，显得十分虚弱，就像从树上掉下来的一片颤抖的树叶；但是他刚刚来得及扫视自己的听众，--这是最近一小时内的第一次，--在他的目光和微笑中马上就流露出最高傲，最轻蔑和得罪人的厌恶神情。他急于向人们挑战，但听众十发气忿。大家懊恼地从桌旁站起来。发出一片响声。疲倦、香槟、紧张加剧了乱糟糟和仿佛是污秽的印象，如果可以这样形容的话。 突然伊波利特很快地从椅子上跳起来，犹如把他从座位上拉下来一样。 “太阳出来了！”他看见闪耀着光芒的树梢呼叫起来，一边像指着奇迹一般指给公爵看，“出来了！” “您以为不会出来了还是怎么的？”费尔迪先科说。 “又得炙烤一整天，”加尼亚手里拿着帽子，伸着懒腰，打着呵欠，漫不经心地烦恼地喃喃着，“这样干旱一个月怎么得了！我们走不走，普季岑？” 伊波利特听着，惊讶得呆如木鸡；突然他脸色白得可怕，全身颤抖着。 “您很笨拙地做出您那种冷漠的样子来侮辱我，”他凝视着加尼亚，对他说，“您是个坏蛋！” “嘿，这真是鬼知道是怎么回事，这么放肆！”费尔先科喊了起来，“多么少见的体弱力衰！” “简直是傻瓜！”加尼亚说。 伊波利特勉强克制住自己。 “我明白，诸位，”他开始说，一边仍然打着颤，每个字都断断续续地说出来。“我会遭到您个人的报复。……我很后悔用这些胡言（他指了下手稿）来折磨您，不过，我也后悔没有把您折磨死……（他愚蠢地笑了一下），折磨死了吧，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇？”他突然转向他问，“折磨死了没有？您说！” “有点冗长，不过……” “全都说出来！别撒谎，哪怕一生中就这一次！”伊波利特颤栗着，命令着。 “哦，我根本就无所谓！对不起，请您让我安宁些吧，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇厌恶地背转身去。 “祝您安睡，公爵，”普季岑走近公爵说。 “他马上就会开熗自杀的，你们怎么啦！瞧他！”维拉喊了一声，异常惊恐地冲向伊波利特，甚至抓住他的手，“他不是说过，太阳出来的时候就开熗自尽，你们怎么啦。” “他不会开熗自尽的！”有几个声音幸灾乐祸地低声说，其中也有加尼亚。 “诸位，请小心！”科利亚也抓住伊波利特的一只手，喊道，“你们只看看他！公爵！公爵，您怎么啦！” 伊波利特身边围聚着维拉、科利亚，凯勒尔和布尔多夫斯基；四个人全都用手抓住他。 “他有权利，有权利！……”布尔多夫斯基喃喃着，其实他也完全茫然失措。 “请问，公爵，您有什么吩咐？”列别杰夫走近公爵，他醉醺醺、恶狠狠，一副无赖的样子。 “什么吩咐？” “不；请允许我说；我是主人，虽然我并不想不尊重您。即使您也是主人，但我不愿意在我的房子里发生这样的事……就这样。” “他不会开熗自尽的；这小子在胡闹！”伊活尔京将军气忿而又过于自信地出人意料嚷着。 “将军说得真不错！”费尔迪先科附和说。 “我知道他不会开熗自杀，将军，万分尊敬的将军，但毕竟……因为我是这里的主人。” “听着，捷连季耶夫先生，”突然普季岑在跟公爵告别后把手递给了伊波利特，“您好像在自己的手稿里讲的您的骨胳，说要遗赠给科学院？您这是说的您的骨骼，您自己的，也就是说要遗赠自己的骨头？” “是的，我的骨头……” “这就好了。不然可能会弄错，据说，已经有过这样的事情。” “您干吗要招惹他。”公爵突然喊起来。 “把人家眼泪都逗出来了，”费尔迪光科补了一句。 但伊波利特根本没有哭。他本想移动一下位置，但是围住他的四个人一下子突然抓住了他的手，响起了笑声。 “他就是要别人抓住他的手，他读手稿就为这个目的，”罗戈任指出，“再见，公爵。唉，坐得大久了，骨头都疼了。” “捷连季耶夫，如果您真的想开熗自杀，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇笑起来说，“如果我处于您的地位，在听了这样的恭维话后，就偏偏不自杀，气死他们。” “他们非常想看到我开熗自杀！”伊波利特冲着他气势汹汹地说。 他像是准备进攻似的说。 “他们看不到，所以就着恼。” “这么说您也认为，他们是看不到的喏？” “我不来煽动您；相反，我认为，您开熗自杀是非常可能的。主要是您别生气……”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇用一种庇护弱者的语气拉长了调子说。 “我现在才明白，我念这篇手稿是犯了一个可怕的错误！”伊波利特说，他忽然流露出十分信赖的神情望着叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，仿佛请朋友出出友好的主意。 “处境是可笑的，但是……真的，我不知道该向您建议什么好，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇微笑着回答。 伊波处待严厉地目不转睛地盯着他，一语不发，可以想到，他有时完全想入神了。 “不，请让我说几句，这不过是一种姿态，”列别杰夫说，“说什么‘我要在公园里自杀，免得惊动任何人！’他下台阶往公园里走三步，就不惊扰别人了，这是他才这么想。” “诸位……”公爵本已开始说。 “不，请让我说，万分尊敬的公爵，”列别杰夫愤恨地抓住话题不放，“因为您自己也看到这不是玩笑话，因为您客人中至少有一半也是那种意见并深信，现在，在这里讲了许多话以后，他出于爱面子也一定会开熗自杀，所以我作为事主当着证人们宣布，我请你们予以协助！” “应该做什么，列别杰夫？我准备着协助您。” “是这样：首先让他立即交出在我们面前加以吹嘘的手熗以及全部弹药，如果他交出来，鉴于他有病，我同意让他今晚在这屋里过夜，当然，得在我的监视之下，但是明天一定得请他走，随便他去哪里；对不起，公爵！如果他不交出武器，那么我马上，立即扭住他的胳膊，我扭一只，将军扭另一只。同时迅即派人去报告警察，那时这事就转到警察局来审理了，费尔迫先科，看在老交情上，去走一趟吧。” 顿时喧哗声起。列别杰夫异常激动，已经失去分寸：费尔迪先科准备去警察局；加尼亚发狂地坚持谁也不会开熗自杀。叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇沉默语。 “公爵，您曾经从钟楼上跳下来过吗？”伊波利特忽然对他低语说。 “没有……”公爵天真的答道。 “难道您以为，我没有预见到所有这一切憎恨吗？”伊波利特又低声说道，他眼睛一闪一闪望着公爵，仿佛真的等待着他的回答。“够了！”他突然对所有在场的人喊了起来，“我有过错……比所有的人都大的过错！列别杰夫，这是钥匙（他掏出钱包，从里面取出连着三四把小钥匙的钢钥匙圈），就是这把，最后第二把……科利亚会指给您看的……科利亚！科利亚在什么地方。”他望着科利亚，却视而不见地喊着，“是的……他会指给您看的；不久前他和我一起把东西放进包里的。科利亚，带他去吧；我的包在公爵书房桌子底下……用这把钥题，我的手熗和火药筒……在下面一只小箱子里。不久前是他亲手放的，列别杰夫先生，他会拿给您看的，但是有个条件，明天一早我去彼得堡时，您要把手熗还给我。您听到了吧？我把熗交给您，这样做是为了公爵，而不是为了您。” “这样就更好！”列别杰夫抓着钥匙，刻毒地冷笑着，跑到隔壁房间去了。 科利亚停住不走，本想说什么，但列别杰夫拽着拖走他了。 伊波利特望着嘻笑的客人们，公爵发觉，他的牙齿在磕碰，就像强烈的寒颤时那样。 “他们全都是坏蛋！”伊波利特气愤若狂地又对公爵低语说。当他跟公爵说话时，总是俯身低语的。 “别管他们；您很虚弱……” “马上，马上……我马上就走……” 突然他拥抱了公爵。 “也许，您认为我发疯了？”他望了一眼公爵，奇怪地笑了起来。 “不，但是您……” “马上，马上，您别作声；什么都别说；您站着……我想看一下您的眼睛……您这样站，我来看。我要跟一个大写的人告别。” 他站在那里，望着公爵，一动也不动，也不吭声，这样有１０秒钟。他异常苍白，双鬓都汗湿了，有点奇怪地一只手抓住公爵，仿佛怕把他放了。 “伊波利特，伊波利特，您怎么啦？”公爵喊了起来。 “马上……够了……我就去躺下。我要为太阳的健康喝一口……我想，我想，别管我。” 他很快地从桌上抓起一只酒杯，猛地离开原地，一瞬间便走到了下露台台阶口，公爵本已跟在他后面跑去，但结果却是，像故意似的，就在这一霎那时甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇向他伸过手来向他告辞。过了一秒钟，突然露台上响起了众人的喊叫声；接着便是一分钟异常慌乱的景象。 发生的是这么一回事： 伊波利特定近紧靠下露台的台阶口就停了下来，他左手拿着酒杯，把右手伸进大衣右侧的口袋里。事后凯勒尔肯定地说，还是在这以前伊波利恃就一直把这只手放在右边口袋里；在跟公爵说话时，左手抓住他的肩和领子，这只右手则在口袋里，凯勒尔要人们相信，当时他的手就第一次产生怀疑。不管怎样，某种不安使他也跟在伊波利特后面跑去。但他没有赶得上。他只看见伊波利特的右手中突然有什么东西闪了一下，就在这一秒钟里小小的袖珍手熗已经紧贴在他的太阳穴上，凯勒尔扑过去抓他的手，但在同一秒钟伊波利特扣动了扳机。扳机发出于涩刺耳的喀嚏声，但是接着并没有熗声。当凯勒尔抱住伊波利特的时候，后者倒在了他的怀里，好像失去了知觉，也许，他真的以为他已经被打死了。手熗已经落在凯勒尔手中。有人扶住伊波利特，给他端来椅子，让他坐下，大家都聚拢在周围，喊叫着，询问着。大家都听到了扳机的喀嚓声，看见的却是个活人，甚至没有一丝擦伤。伊波利特本人坐在那里，他不明白发生了什么事，毫无表情的目光环视着周围所有的人。列别杰夫和科利亚在这一刻奔了进来。 “没打响？”周围的人纷纷问。 “也许，没装子弹？”另有些人猜测。 “装了！”凯勒尔检查了手熗宣布说，“但是……” “难道卡壳了？” “根本就没有火帽，”凯勒尔告诉大家。 很难叙述接下来那可怜的一幕。最初的普遍惊恐很快地就开始被笑声所取代；有些人甚至哈哈大笑起来，在这件事中找到了幸灾乐祸的快感。伊波利特歇斯底里似地号啕大哭，扳捏着自己的双手，扑向大家，甚至也扑向费尔迪先科，用双手抓住他，向他发誓，他忘了，“无意间完全忘了，而不是故意忘了放火帽，说“这些火帽全都在这里，在他背心口袋里，有十个”（他拿给周围众人看），说他之所以没有早点安上火帽，是怕熗在口袋里意外走火，他以为需要的时候总是来得及装上的，可是突然却忘了。他奔向公爵，奔向叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，恳求凯勒尔把熗还给他，他马上向大家证明“什么是他的名誉，名誉……”而现在他就是“永远名誉扫地了！……” 最后，他真的失去知觉倒下了。大家把他抬到公爵的书房里。列别杰夫已完全清醒了，立即派人去叫医生，自己则和女儿、儿子、布尔多夫斯基以及将军一起留在病人的床边。等把失去知觉的伊波利特抬走后，凯勒尔站在房间中央，一字一顿清清楚楚，情绪激昂地大声宣布： “诸位，如果我们中有人再要当着我面说出怀疑火帽是故意忘了的话，或者确认那个不幸的年轻人只是演了一场喜剧，那么我就会跟这个人过不去。” 但是没有人答理他。最后客人们结伙匆匆散去。普季岑，加尼亚和罗戈任一起动身。 公爵对于叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇改变主意未做解释就要离去，感到很是惊讶。 “您不是想等大家散去后跟我谈话吗？”他问叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇。 “确实是这样，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇说，一边突然坐到椅子上，也让公爵坐到自己身旁。“但是现在我临时改变了主意。我向您承认，我有点不好意思，您也是一样。我的思绪很乱；此外，我想跟您解释的事对我来说是太重要了，对您也是。公爵，要知道，我很想在一生中哪怕就一次做一件完全光明磊落的事，也就是说完全没有别的用心，但我认为，我现在，就此刻，还不完全能去做这件光明磊落的事，再说您，也许，也是……那样……还有……算了，我们以后再解释吧。我现在要去彼得堡，如果我们等上三天，也许，事情会变得明朗些，对我对您都是这样。” 说罢他又从椅子上站起身，因而使人觉得奇怪：刚才何必要坐下呢？公爵也觉得，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇不甚满意和颇为恼怒，甚至看起人来也带着敌意，目光中流露的神色完全不是刚才那种样子。 “顺便问一下，您现在要去看病人吗。” “是的……我担心，”公爵说。 “别担心；他肯走能活六个星期，甚至也许还会在这康复。不过最好明天就把他赶走。” “我什么都没说……也许，我真的就此促使他干了这种事？他可能认为我怀疑他会自杀。您怎么想，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇。” “一点儿也不是。您太善良，所以还在耿耿于怀。我听说过这种事，但是实际上从来也没有看到过一一个人会为了让人家夸他或者因为人家不夸他而赌气故意自杀。主要的是，我不相信这种毫不俺饰的软弱无力！可您明天反正得把他赶走。” ”您认为他会再次开熗自杀吗？” “不会，现在他不会自杀了。但是请当心我们这些自产的拉塞内＊！我再次告诉您，犯罪对于这种没有才能、没有耐心、贪得无厌、毫无价值的人来说是太平常的庇护所。” “难道这是个拉塞内？” “本质是一样的，虽然也许扮演的角色不一样。您会看到，正像他自己刚才给我们念的《解释》里说的那样，其实只是为了‘开个玩笑’。就想杀死十个人，即使这位先生没有能耐这佯干，可现在这些话也弄得我无法安睡。” “也许，您大多虑了。” “您真让人惊奇，公爵；您不相信，他现在就能杀死十个人？” “我不敢回答您；这一切非常奇怪，但是……” “好吧，随您，随您！”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇恼火地收尾说，“况且您是个非常勇敢的人；只不过您自己别掉进那十个人中去。” “最大的可能是，他不会杀死任何人，”公爵若有所思地望看叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，说。 叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇气忿地大笑起来。 “再见，该走了！您注意到没有，他要把自己“自白”的副本遗赠给阿格拉娅·伊万诺夫娜？” “是的，注意到了……我正在想这件事。” “这就好，以防他杀死十个人，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇又笑了起来，然后就走出去了。 过了１小时，已经３点多了，公爵去了公园。他本试图在家里睡觉，但是睡不着，心跳厉害，不过，家里一切已经安排停当，尽可能安宁平静下来；病人已经睡着了，请来的医生声你，他已经没有特别的危险了，列别杰夫、科利亚、布尔多夫斯基睡在病人房间里，以便流值班；因此，已经没什么可担心的了。 但是公爵自己的不安却一分钟一分钟地在增长。他在公园徘徊，心不在焉地看着自己周围的景物，当他走到车站前的广场并看见一排空荡荡的长椅和乐队的谱架时，他惊讶地停了下来。这个地方使他吃惊，并且不知为什么令人觉得十分不像样子，他转身往回走，沿着昨天与叶潘钦母女走去车站的那条路径直走到指定约会的那张绿色长椅，在上面坐下后，突然纵声大笑起来，但又立即因此而异常愤慨。烦闷苦恼继续围绕着他；他真想离开去什么地方……他不知道去哪里，他头顶上方一只小鸟在树上啼啭，他便开始在叶丛中寻觅它；突然小鸟从树上腾空飞起，就在这一刻他不知为什么想起了那只“沐浴着炽热的阳光”的“苍蝇”，伊波利特这样写它，说“它知道自己的地位，是大合唱的参加者，唯独他一人是被抛弃者”。这句话刚才就使他大为震惊，现在又想起了它。一段早已忘却的回忆在他心间萌动，现在一下子变清晰了。 ＊拉塞内，十九世纪二十年代蛋动巴黎的一刑事案件的中心人物，极端残酷的杀人犯。 这是在瑞士，他进行治疗的第１年，甚至是最初几个且。当时他还完全是个白痴，甚至都不会好好说话，有时也不能理解要求他做什么。有一次他走进山里去，那是一个阳光明媚的白天，他怀着一种痛苦的、怎么也不能具体体现的思想在那里踯躅良久。在他面前是辉耀的天空，下面是一汪湖水，四周的天涯清彻明净、无边无际。他久久地望着，心中则非常痛苦。现在他回想起来，当时他向这光明、无涯的青空伸出自己的双手，潸然泪下，使他感到痛苦的是，所有这一切跟他完全没有缘份。这不散的筵席是什么样的？这常年的盛大节日是什么样的？很久以前，从童年起，这筵席、这节日就一直吸引着他，可又怎么也接近不了、加入不了。每天早晨都升起这么光明灿烂的太阳，每天早晨瀑布倾泻处彩虹飞架；每天傍晚远方天际那座最高的雪峰都燃起朱红的火焰；每个“小小的苍蝇沐浴着炽热的阳光，在他身边嗡嗡叫，他是整个这场大合唱的参加者，他知道自己的位置，热爱这一席之地并感到幸福”；每一棵小草都在生长并感到幸福！万物都有自己的路，万物也都知道自己的路，它们唱着歌儿离去，唱着歌儿来临；只有他一个人什么也不知道，什么也不明白，不了解人们，也不理解声音，一切都与他无缘，他是个被抛弃的人。哦，当然，当时他不会用这些话来讲，也不会讲出自己的问题；他默默无声暗自痛苦：但是现在他觉得，他在那时就说了这一切，说了所有这些话，还有，有关苍蝇的话伊波利特正是从他本人那，从他当时的话里和泪水里拿去的。他深信这一点，不知为什么这个念头使他的心直跳…… 他在长椅上微微睡着了，但是即使梦中他也仍然忐忑不安。就在入睡前他想起，伊波利特会打死十个人，对于这一荒廖的设想他一笑了之。他的周围是一片美妙、清新的沉寂，只有树

Part 3 Chapter 6 "I WILL not deceive you. 'Reality' got me so entrapped in its meshes now and again during the past six months, that I forgot my 'sentence' (or perhaps I did not wish to think of it), and actually busied myself with affairs. "A word as to my circumstances. When, eight months since, I became very ill, I threw up all my old connections and dropped all my old companions. As I was always a gloomy, morose sort of individual, my friends easily forgot me; of course, they would have forgotten me all the same, without that excuse. My position at home was solitary enough. Five months ago I separated myself entirely from the family, and no one dared enter my room except at stated times, to clean and tidy it, and so on, and to bring me my meals. My mother dared not disobey me; she kept the children quiet, for my sake, and beat them if they dared to make any noise and disturb me. I so often complained of them that I should think they must be very fond, indeed, of me by this time. I think I must have tormented 'my faithful Colia' (as I called him) a good deal too. He tormented me of late; I could see that he always bore my tempers as though he had determined to 'spare the poor invalid.' This annoyed me, naturally. He seemed to have taken it into his head to imitate the prince in Christian meekness! Surikoff, who lived above us, annoyed me, too. He was so miserably poor, and I used to prove to him that he had no one to blame but himself for his poverty. I used to be so angry that I think I frightened him eventually, for he stopped coming to see me. He was a most meek and humble fellow, was Surikoff. (N.B.-- They say that meekness is a great power. I must ask the prince about this, for the expression is his.) But I remember one day in March, when I went up to his lodgings to see whether it was true that one of his children had been starved and frozen to death, I began to hold forth to him about his poverty being his own fault, and, in the course of my remarks, I accidentally smiled at the corpse of his child. Well, the poor wretch's lips began to tremble, and he caught me by the shoulder, and pushed me to the door. 'Go out,' he said, in a whisper. I went out, of course, and I declare I LIKED it. I liked it at the very moment when I was turned out. But his words filled me with a strange sort of feeling of disdainful pity for him whenever I thought of them--a feeling which I did not in the least desire to entertain. At the very moment of the insult (for I admit that I did insult him, though I did not mean to), this man could not lose his temper. His lips had trembled, but I swear it was not with rage. He had taken me by the arm, and said, 'Go out,' without the least anger. There was dignity, a great deal of dignity, about him, and it was so inconsistent with the look of him that, I assure you, it was quite comical. But there was no anger. Perhaps he merely began to despise me at that moment. "Since that time he has always taken off his hat to me on the stairs, whenever I met him, which is a thing he never did before; but he always gets away from me as quickly as he can, as though he felt confused. If he did despise me, he despised me 'meekly,' after his own fashion. "I dare say he only took his hat off out of fear, as it were, to the son of his creditor; for he always owed my mother money. I thought of having an explanation with him, but I knew that if I did, he would begin to apologize in a minute or two, so I decided to let him alone. "Just about that time, that is, the middle of March, I suddenly felt very much better; this continued for a couple of weeks. I used to go out at dusk. I like the dusk, especially in March, when the night frost begins to harden the day's puddles, and the gas is burning. "Well, one night in the Shestilavochnaya, a man passed me with a paper parcel under his arm. I did not take stock of him very carefully, but he seemed to be dressed in some shabby summer dust-coat, much too light for the season. When he was opposite the lamp-post, some ten yards away, I observed something fall out of his pocket. I hurried forward to pick it up, just in time, for an old wretch in a long kaftan rushed up too. He did not dispute the matter, but glanced at what was in my hand and disappeared. "It was a large old-fashioned pocket-book, stuffed full; but I guessed, at a glance, that it had anything in the world inside it, except money. "The owner was now some forty yards ahead of me, and was very soon lost in the crowd. I ran after him, and began calling out; but as I knew nothing to say excepting 'hey!' he did not turn round. Suddenly he turned into the gate of a house to the left; and when I darted in after him, the gateway was so dark that I could see nothing whatever. It was one of those large houses built in small tenements, of which there must have been at least a hundred. "When I entered the yard I thought I saw a man going along on the far side of it; but it was so dark I could not make out his figure. "I crossed to that corner and found a dirty dark staircase. I heard a man mounting up above me, some way higher than I was, and thinking I should catch him before his door would be opened to him, I rushed after him. I heard a door open and shut on the fifth storey, as I panted along; the stairs were narrow, and the steps innumerable, but at last I reached the door I thought the right one. Some moments passed before I found the bell and got it to ring. "An old peasant woman opened the door; she was busy lighting the 'samovar' in a tiny kitchen. She listened silently to my questions, did not understand a word, of course, and opened another door leading into a little bit of a room, low and scarcely furnished at all, but with a large, wide bed in it, hung with curtains. On this bed lay one Terentich, as the woman called him, drunk, it appeared to me. On the table was an end of candle in an iron candlestick, and a half-bottle of vodka, nearly finished. Terentich muttered something to me, and signed towards the next room. The old woman had disappeared, so there was nothing for me to do but to open the door indicated. I did so, and entered the next room. "This was still smaller than the other, so cramped that I could scarcely turn round; a narrow single bed at one side took up nearly all the room. Besides the bed there were only three common chairs, and a wretched old kitchen-table standing before a small sofa. One could hardly squeeze through between the table and the bed. "On the table, as in the other room, burned a tallow candle-end in an iron candlestick; and on the bed there whined a baby of scarcely three weeks old. A pale-looking woman was dressing the child, probably the mother; she looked as though she had not as yet got over the trouble of childbirth, she seemed so weak and was so carelessly dressed. Another child, a little girl of about three years old, lay on the sofa, covered over with what looked like a man's old dress-coat. "At the table stood a man in his shirt sleeves; he had thrown off his coat; it lay upon the bed; and he was unfolding a blue paper parcel in which were a couple of pounds of bread, and some little sausages. "On the table along with these things were a few old bits of black bread, and some tea in a pot. From under the bed there protruded an open portmanteau full of bundles of rags. In a word, the confusion and untidiness of the room were indescribable. "It appeared to me, at the first glance, that both the man and the woman were respectable people, but brought to that pitch of poverty where untidiness seems to get the better of every effort to cope with it, till at last they take a sort of bitter satisfaction in it. When I entered the room, the man, who had entered but a moment before me, and was still unpacking his parcels, was saying something to his wife in an excited manner. The news was apparently bad, as usual, for the woman began whimpering. The man's face seemed tome to be refined and even pleasant. He was dark-complexioned, and about twenty-eight years of age; he wore black whiskers, and his lip and chin were shaved. He looked morose, but with a sort of pride of expression. A curious scene followed. "There are people who find satisfaction in their own touchy feelings, especially when they have just taken the deepest offence; at such moments they feel that they would rather be offended than not. These easily-ignited natures, if they are wise, are always full of remorse afterwards, when they reflect that they have been ten times as angry as they need have been. "The gentleman before me gazed at me for some seconds in amazement, and his wife in terror; as though there was something alarmingly extraordinary in the fact that anyone could come to see them. But suddenly he fell upon me almost with fury; I had had no time to mutter more than a couple of words; but he had doubtless observed that I was decently dressed and, therefore, took deep offence because I had dared enter his den so unceremoniously, and spy out the squalor and untidiness of it. "Of course he was delighted to get hold of someone upon whom to vent his rage against things in general. "For a moment I thought he would assault me; he grew so pale that he looked like a woman about to have hysterics; his wife was dreadfully alarmed. "'How dare you come in so? Be off!' he shouted, trembling all over with rage and scarcely able to articulate the words. Suddenly, however, he observed his pocketbook in my hand. "'I think you dropped this,' I remarked, as quietly and drily as I could. (I thought it best to treat him so.) For some while he stood before me in downright terror, and seemed unable to understand. He then suddenly grabbed at his side-pocket, opened his mouth in alarm, and beat his forehead with his hand. "'My God!' he cried, 'where did you find it? How?' I explained in as few words as I could, and as drily as possible, how I had seen it and picked it up; how I had run after him, and called out to him, and how I had followed him upstairs and groped my way to his door. "'Gracious Heaven!' he cried, 'all our papers are in it! My dear sir, you little know what you have done for us. I should have been lost--lost!' "I had taken hold of the door-handle meanwhile, intending to leave the room without reply; but I was panting with my run upstairs, and my exhaustion came to a climax in a violent fit of coughing, so bad that I could hardly stand. "I saw how the man dashed about the room to find me an empty chair, how he kicked the rags off a chair which was covered up by them, brought it to me, and helped me to sit down; but my cough went on for another three minutes or so. When I came to myself he was sitting by me on another chair, which he had also cleared of the rubbish by throwing it all over the floor, and was watching me intently. "'I'm afraid you are ill?' he remarked, in the tone which doctors use when they address a patient. 'I am myself a medical man' (he did not say 'doctor'), with which words he waved his hands towards the room and its contents as though in protest at his present condition. 'I see that you--' "'I'm in consumption,' I said laconically, rising from my seat. He jumped up, too. "'Perhaps you are exaggerating--if you were to take proper measures perhaps--" "He was terribly confused and did not seem able to collect his scattered senses; the pocket-book was still in his left hand. "'Oh, don't mind me,' I said. 'Dr. B-- saw me last week' (I lugged him in again), 'and my hash is quite settled; pardon me-' I took hold of the door-handle again. I was on the point of opening the door and leaving my grateful but confused medical friend to himself and his shame, when my damnable cough got hold of me again. "My doctor insisted on my sitting down again to get my breath. He now said something to his wife who, without leaving her place, addressed a few words of gratitude and courtesy to me. She seemed very shy over it, and her sickly face flushed up with confusion. I remained, but with the air of a man who knows he is intruding and is anxious to get away. The doctor's remorse at last seemed to need a vent, I could see. "'If I--' he began, breaking off abruptly every other moment, and starting another sentence. 'I-I am so very grateful to you, and I am so much to blame in your eyes, I feel sure, I--you see--' (he pointed to the room again) 'at this moment I am in such a position-' "'Oh!' I said, 'there's nothing to see; it's quite a clear case-- you've lost your post and have come up to make explanations and get another, if you can!' "'How do you know that?' he asked in amazement. "'Oh, it was evident at the first glance,' I said ironically, but not intentionally so. 'There are lots of people who come up from the provinces full of hope, and run about town, and have to live as best they can.' "He began to talk at once excitedly and with trembling lips; he began complaining and telling me his story. He interested me, I confess; I sat there nearly an hour. His story was a very ordinary one. He had been a provincial doctor; he had a civil appointment, and had no sooner taken it up than intrigues began. Even his wife was dragged into these. He was proud, and flew into a passion; there was a change of local government which acted in favour of his opponents; his position was undermined, complaints were made against him; he lost his post and came up to Petersburg with his last remaining money, in order to appeal to higher authorities. Of course nobody would listen to him for a long time; he would come and tell his story one day and be refused promptly; another day he would be fed on false promises; again he would be treated harshly; then he would be told to sign some documents; then he would sign the paper and hand it in, and they would refuse to receive it, and tell him to file a formal petition. In a word he had been driven about from office to office for five months and had spent every farthing he had; his wife's last rags had just been pawned; and meanwhile a child had been born to them and--and today I have a final refusal to my petition, and I have hardly a crumb of bread left--I have nothing left; my wife has had a baby lately--and I-I--' "He sprang up from his chair and turned away. His wife was crying in the corner; the child had begun to moan again. I pulled out my note-book and began writing in it. When I had finished and rose from my chair he was standing before me with an expression of alarmed curiosity. "'I have jotted down your name,' I told him, 'and all the rest of it--the place you served at, the district, the date, and all. I have a friend, Bachmatoff, whose uncle is a councillor of state and has to do with these matters, one Peter Matveyevitch Bachmatoff.' "'Peter Matveyevitch Bachmatoff!' he cried, trembling all over with excitement. 'Why, nearly everything depends on that very man!' "It is very curious, this story of the medical man, and my visit, and the happy termination to which I contributed by accident! Everything fitted in, as in a novel. I told the poor people not to put much hope in me, because I was but a poor schoolboy myself-- (I am not really, but I humiliated myself as much as possible in order to make them less hopeful)--but that I would go at once to the Vassili Ostroff and see my friend; and that as I knew for certain that his uncle adored him, and was absolutely devoted to him as the last hope and branch of the family, perhaps the old man might do something to oblige his nephew. "'If only they would allow me to explain all to his excellency! If I could but be permitted to tell my tale to him!" he cried, trembling with feverish agitation, and his eyes flashing with excitement. I repeated once more that I could not hold out much hope--that it would probably end in smoke, and if I did not turn up next morning they must make up their minds that there was no more to be done in the matter. "They showed me out with bows and every kind of respect; they seemed quite beside themselves. I shall never forget the expression of their faces! "I took a droshky and drove over to the Vassili Ostroff at once. For some years I had been at enmity with this young Bachmatoff, at school. We considered him an aristocrat; at all events I called him one. He used to dress smartly, and always drove to school in a private trap. He was a good companion, and was always merry and jolly, sometimes even witty, though he was not very intellectual, in spite of the fact that he was always top of the class; I myself was never top in anything! All his companions were very fond of him, excepting myself. He had several times during those years come up to me and tried to make friends; but I had always turned sulkily away and refused to have anything to do with him. I had not seen him for a whole year now; he was at the university. When, at nine o'clock, or so, this evening, I arrived and was shown up to him with great ceremony, he first received me with astonishment, and not too affably, but he soon cheered up, and suddenly gazed intently at me and burst out laughing. "'Why, what on earth can have possessed you to come and see ME, Terentieff?' he cried, with his usual pleasant, sometimes audacious, but never offensive familiarity, which I liked in reality, but for which I also detested him. 'Why what's the matter?' he cried in alarm. 'Are you ill?' "That confounded cough of mine had come on again; I fell into a chair, and with difficulty recovered my breath. 'It's all right, it's only consumption' I said. 'I have come to you with a petition!' "He sat down in amazement, and I lost no time in telling him the medical man's history; and explained that he, with the influence which he possessed over his uncle, might do some good to the poor fellow. "'I'll do it--I'll do it, of course!' he said. 'I shall attack my uncle about it tomorrow morning, and I'm very glad you told me the story. But how was it that you thought of coming to me about it, Terentieff?' "'So much depends upon your uncle,' I said. 'And besides we have always been enemies, Bachmatoff; and as you are a generous sort of fellow, I thought you would not refuse my request because I was your enemy!' I added with irony. "'Like Napoleon going to England, eh?' cried he, laughing. 'I'll do it though--of course, and at once, if I can!' he added, seeing that I rose seriously from my chair at this point. "And sure enough the matter ended as satisfactorily as possible. A month or so later my medical friend was appointed to another post. He got his travelling expenses paid, and something to help him to start life with once more. I think Bachmatoff must have persuaded the doctor to accept a loan from himself. I saw Bachmatoff two or three times, about this period, the third time being when he gave a farewell dinner to the doctor and his wife before their departure, a champagne dinner. "Bachmatoff saw me home after the dinner and we crossed the Nicolai bridge. We were both a little drunk. He told me of his joy, the joyful feeling of having done a good action; he said that it was all thanks to myself that he could feel this satisfaction; and held forth about the foolishness of the theory that individual charity is useless "I, too, was burning to have my say! "'In Moscow,' I said, 'there was an old state counsellor, a civil general, who, all his life, had been in the habit of visiting the prisons and speaking to criminals. Every party of convicts on its way to Siberia knew beforehand that on the Vorobeef Hills the "old general" would pay them a visit. He did all he undertook seriously and devotedly. He would walk down the rows of the unfortunate prisoners, stop before each individual and ask after his needs--he never sermonized them; he spoke kindly to them--he gave them money; he brought them all sorts of necessaries for the journey, and gave them devotional books, choosing those who could read, under the firm conviction that they would read to those who could not, as they went along. "'He scarcely ever talked about the particular crimes of any of them, but listened if any volunteered information on that point. All the convicts were equal for him, and he made no distinction. He spoke to all as to brothers, and every one of them looked upon him as a father. When he observed among the exiles some poor woman with a child, he would always come forward and fondle the little one, and make it laugh. He continued these acts of mercy up to his very death; and by that time all the criminals, all over Russia and Siberia, knew him! "'A man I knew who had been to Siberia and returned, told me that he himself had been a witness of how the very most hardened criminals remembered the old general, though, in point of fact, he could never, of course, have distributed more than a few pence to each member of a party. Their recollection of him was not sentimental or particularly devoted. Some wretch, for instance, who had been a murderer--cutting the throat of a dozen fellow- creatures, for instance; or stabbing six little children for his own amusement (there have been such men!)--would perhaps, without rhyme or reason, suddenly give a sigh and say, "I wonder whether that old general is alive still!" Although perhaps he had not thought of mentioning him for a dozen years before! How can one say what seed of good may have been dropped into his soul, never to die?' "I continued in that strain for a long while, pointing out to Bachmatoff how impossible it is to follow up the effects of any isolated good deed one may do, in all its influences and subtle workings upon the heart and after-actions of others. "'And to think that you are to be cut off from life!' remarked Bachmatoff, in a tone of reproach, as though he would like to find someone to pitch into on my account. "We were leaning over the balustrade of the bridge, looking into the Neva at this moment. "'Do you know what has suddenly come into my head?' said I, suddenly--leaning further and further over the rail. "'Surely not to throw yourself into the river?' cried Bachmatoff in alarm. Perhaps he read my thought in my face. "'No, not yet. At present nothing but the following consideration. You see I have some two or three months left me to live--perhaps four; well, supposing that when I have but a month or two more, I take a fancy for some "good deed" that needs both trouble and time, like this business of our doctor friend, for instance: why, I shall have to give up the idea of it and take to something else--some LITTLE good deed, MORE WITHIN MY MEANS, eh? Isn't that an amusing idea!' "Poor Bachmatoff was much impressed--painfully so. He took me all the way home; not attempting to console me, but behaving with the greatest delicacy. On taking leave he pressed my hand warmly and asked permission to come and see me. I replied that if he came to me as a 'comforter,' so to speak (for he would be in that capacity whether he spoke to me in a soothing manner or only kept silence, as I pointed out to him), he would but remind me each time of my approaching death! He shrugged his shoulders, but quite agreed with me; and we parted better friends than I had expected. "But that evening and that night were sown the first seeds of my 'last conviction.' I seized greedily on my new idea; I thirstily drank in all its different aspects (I did not sleep a wink that night!), and the deeper I went into it the more my being seemed to merge itself in it, and the more alarmed I became. A dreadful terror came over me at last, and did not leave me all next day. "Sometimes, thinking over this, I became quite numb with the terror of it; and I might well have deduced from this fact, that my 'last conviction' was eating into my being too fast and too seriously, and would undoubtedly come to its climax before long. And for the climax I needed greater determination than I yet possessed. "However, within three weeks my determination was taken, owing to a very strange circumstance. "Here on my paper, I make a note of all the figures and dates that come into my explanation. Of course, it is all the same to me, but just now--and perhaps only at this moment--I desire that all those who are to judge of my action should see clearly out of how logical a sequence of deductions has at length proceeded my 'last conviction.' "I have said above that the determination needed by me for the accomplishment of my final resolve, came to hand not through any sequence of causes, but thanks to a certain strange circumstance which had perhaps no connection whatever with the matter at issue. Ten days ago Rogojin called upon me about certain business of his own with which I have nothing to do at present. I had never seen Rogojin before, but had often heard about him. "I gave him all the information he needed, and he very soon took his departure; so that, since he only came for the purpose of gaining the information, the matter might have been expected to end there. "But he interested me too much, and all that day I was under the influence of strange thoughts connected with him, and I determined to return his visit the next day. "Rogojin was evidently by no means pleased to see me, and hinted, delicately, that he saw no reason why our acquaintance should continue. For all that, however, I spent a very interesting hour, and so, I dare say, did he. There was so great a contrast between us that I am sure we must both have felt it; anyhow, I felt it acutely. Here was I, with my days numbered, and he, a man in the full vigour of life, living in the present, without the slightest thought for 'final convictions,' or numbers, or days, or, in fact, for anything but that which-which--well, which he was mad about, if he will excuse me the expression--as a feeble author who cannot express his ideas properly. "In spite of his lack of amiability, I could not help seeing, in Rogojin a man of intellect and sense; and although, perhaps, there was little in the outside world which was of. interest to him, still he was clearly a man with eyes to see. "I hinted nothing to him about my 'final conviction,' but it appeared to me that he had guessed it from my words. He remained silent--he is a terribly silent man. I remarked to him, as I rose to depart, that, in spite of the contrast and the wide differences between us two, les extremites se touchent ('extremes meet,' as I explained to him in Russian); so that maybe he was not so far from my final conviction as appeared. "His only reply to this was a sour grimace. He rose and looked for my cap, and placed it in my hand, and led me out of the house--that dreadful gloomy house of his--to all appearances, of course, as though I were leaving of my own accord, and he were simply seeing me to the door out of politeness. His house impressed me much; it is like a burial-ground, he seems to like it, which is, however, quite natural. Such a full life as he leads is so overflowing with absorbing interests that he has little need of assistance from his surroundings. "The visit to Rogojin exhausted me terribly. Besides, I had felt ill since the morning; and by evening I was so weak that I took to my bed, and was in high fever at intervals, and even delirious. Colia sat with me until eleven o'clock. "Yet I remember all he talked about, and every word we said, though whenever my eyes closed for a moment I could picture nothing but the image of Surikoff just in the act of finding a million roubles. He could not make up his mind what to do with the money, and tore his hair over it. He trembled with fear that somebody would rob him, and at last he decided to bury it in the ground. I persuaded him that, instead of putting it all away uselessly underground, he had better melt it down and make a golden coffin out of it for his starved child, and then dig up the little one and put her into the golden coffin. Surikoff accepted this suggestion, I thought, with tears of gratitude, and immediately commenced to carry out my design. "I thought I spat on the ground and left him in disgust. Colia told me, when I quite recovered my senses, that I had not been asleep for a moment, but that I had spoken to him about Surikoff the whole while. "At moments I was in a state of dreadful weakness and misery, so that Colia was greatly disturbed when he left me. "When I arose to lock the door after him, I suddenly called to mind a picture I had noticed at Rogojin's in one of his gloomiest rooms, over the door. He had pointed it out to me himself as we walked past it, and I believe I must have stood a good five minutes in front of it. There was nothing artistic about it, but the picture made me feel strangely uncomfortable. It represented Christ just taken down from the cross. It seems to me that painters as a rule represent the Saviour, both on the cross and taken down from it, with great beauty still upon His face. This marvellous beauty they strive to preserve even in His moments of deepest agony and passion. But there was no such beauty in Rogojin's picture. This was the presentment of a poor mangled body which had evidently suffered unbearable anguish even before its crucifixion, full of wounds and bruises, marks of the violence of soldiers and people, and of the bitterness of the moment when He had fallen with the cross--all this combined with the anguish of the actual crucifixion. "The face was depicted as though still suffering; as though the body, only just dead, was still almost quivering with agony. The picture was one of pure nature, for the face was not beautified by the artist, but was left as it would naturally be, whosoever the sufferer, after such anguish. "I know that the earliest Christian faith taught that the Saviour suffered actually and not figuratively, and that nature was allowed her own way even while His body was on the cross. "It is strange to look on this dreadful picture of the mangled corpse of the Saviour, and to put this question to oneself: 'Supposing that the disciples, the future apostles, the women who had followed Him and stood by the cross, all of whom believed in and worshipped Him--supposing that they saw this tortured body, this face so mangled and bleeding and bruised (and they MUST have so seen it)--how could they have gazed upon the dreadful sight and yet have believed that He would rise again?' "The thought steps in, whether one likes it or no, that death is so terrible and so powerful, that even He who conquered it in His miracles during life was unable to triumph over it at the last. He who called to Lazarus, 'Lazarus, come forth!' and the dead man lived--He was now Himself a prey to nature and death. Nature appears to one, looking at this picture, as some huge, implacable, dumb monster; or still better--a stranger simile--some enormous mechanical engine of modern days which has seized and crushed and swallowed up a great and invaluable Being, a Being worth nature and all her laws, worth the whole earth, which was perhaps created merely for the sake of the advent of that Being. "This blind, dumb, implacable, eternal, unreasoning force is well shown in the picture, and the absolute subordination of all men and things to it is so well expressed that the idea unconsciously arises in the mind of anyone who looks at it. All those faithful people who were gazing at the cross and its mutilated occupant must have suffered agony of mind that evening; for they must have felt that all their hopes and almost all their faith had been shattered at a blow. They must have separated in terror and dread that night, though each perhaps carried away with him one great thought which was never eradicated from his mind for ever afterwards. If this great Teacher of theirs could have seen Himself after the Crucifixion, how could He have consented to mount the Cross and to die as He did? This thought also comes into the mind of the man who gazes at this picture. I thought of all this by snatches probably between my attacks of delirium--for an hour and a half or so before Colia's departure. "Can there be an appearance of that which has no form? And yet it seemed to me, at certain moments, that I beheld in some strange and impossible form, that dark, dumb, irresistibly powerful, eternal force. "I thought someone led me by the hand and showed me, by the light of a candle, a huge, loathsome insect, which he assured me was that very force, that very almighty, dumb, irresistible Power, and laughed at the indignation with which I received this information. In my room they always light the little lamp before my icon for the night; it gives a feeble flicker of light, but it is strong enough to see by dimly, and if you sit just under it you can even read by it. I think it was about twelve or a little past that night. I had not slept a wink, and was lying with my eyes wide open, when suddenly the door opened, and in came Rogojin. "He entered, and shut the door behind him. Then he silently gazed at me and went quickly to the corner of the room where the lamp was burning and sat down underneath it. "I was much surprised, and looked at him expectantly. "Rogojin only leaned his elbow on the table and silently stared at me. So passed two or three minutes, and I recollect that his silence hurt and offended me very much. Why did he not speak? "That his arrival at this time of night struck me as more or less strange may possibly be the case; but I remember I was by no means amazed at it. On the contrary, though I had not actually told him my thought in the morning, yet I know he understood it; and this thought was of such a character that it would not be anything very remarkable, if one were to come for further talk about it at any hour of night, however late. "I thought he must have come for this purpose. "In the morning we had parted not the best of friends; I remember he looked at me with disagreeable sarcasm once or twice; and this same look I observed in his eyes now--which was the cause of the annoyance I felt. "I did not for a moment suspect that I was delirious and that this Rogojin was but the result of fever and excitement. I had not the slightest idea of such a theory at first. "Meanwhile he continued to sit and stare jeeringly at me. "I angrily turned round in bed and made up my mind that I would not say a word unless he did; so I rested silently on my pillow determined to remain dumb, if it were to last till morning. I felt resolved that he should speak first. Probably twenty minutes or so passed in this way. Suddenly the idea struck me--what if this is an apparition and not Rogojin himself? "Neither during my illness nor at any previous time had I ever seen an apparition;--but I had always thought, both when I was a little boy, and even now, that if I were to see one I should die on the spot--though I don't believe in ghosts. And yet NOW, when the idea struck me that this was a ghost and not Rogojin at all, I was not in the least alarmed. Nay--the thought actually irritated me. Strangely enough, the decision of the question as to whether this were a ghost or Rogojin did not, for some reason or other, interest me nearly so much as it ought to have done;--I think I began to muse about something altogether different. For instance, I began to wonder why Rogojin, who had been in dressing--gown and slippers when I saw him at home, had now put on a dress-coat and white waistcoat and tie? I also thought to myself, I remember--'if this is a ghost, and I am not afraid of it, why don't I approach it and verify my suspicions? Perhaps I am afraid--' And no sooner did this last idea enter my head than an icy blast blew over me; I felt a chill down my backbone and my knees shook. "At this very moment, as though divining my thoughts, Rogojin raised his head from his arm and began to part his lips as though he were going to laugh--but he continued to stare at me as persistently as before. "I felt so furious with him at this moment that I longed to rush at him; but as I had sworn that he should speak first, I continued to lie still--and the more willingly, as I was still by no means satisfied as to whether it really was Rogojin or not. "I cannot remember how long this lasted; I cannot recollect, either, whether consciousness forsook me at intervals, or not. But at last Rogojin rose, staring at me as intently as ever, but not smiling any longer,--and walking very softly, almost on tip- toes, to the door, he opened it, went out, and shut it behind him. "I did not rise from my bed, and I don't know how long I lay with my eyes open, thinking. I don't know what I thought about, nor how I fell asleep or became insensible; but I awoke next morning after nine o'clock when they knocked at my door. My general orders are that if I don't open the door and call, by nine o'clock, Matreona is to come and bring my tea. When I now opened the door to her, the thought suddenly struck me--how could he have come in, since the door was locked? I made inquiries and found that Rogojin himself could not possibly have come in, because all our doors were locked for the night. "Well, this strange circumstance--which I have described with so much detail--was the ultimate cause which led me to taking my final determination. So that no logic, or logical deductions, had anything to do with my resolve;--it was simply a matter of disgust. "It was impossible for me to go on living when life was full of such detestable, strange, tormenting forms. This ghost had humiliated me;--nor could I bear to be subordinate to that dark, horrible force which was embodied in the form of the loathsome insect. It was only towards evening, when I had quite made up my mind on this point, that I began to feel easier. 我不想撒谎：这六个月里现实把我钩上了钩，有时候使我醉心得忘了我己被判了死刑，或者；最好说，使我不想去想这一点，甚至还做点事情。顺便谈谈我当时的情况。八个月前我病很重的时候，我断绝一切交往，撇下了我过去所有的同伴。因为我一直是个相当阴郁的人，所以同伴们也很容易就忘了我；当然，没有这一点他们也会忘掉我的。在家里我的处境，也就是在家庭里的处境，也是很孤独的，五个月前我把自己永远锁在里面，把自己跟家里的房间完全隔离开来。他们常常听我的，谁也不敢走进我的房间，除了在一定的时间来收拾房间和给我送餐。母亲在我的命令前总是战战兢兢，当我有时候决定放她进来时，她甚至不敢在我面前哭鼻子。为了我她经常打孩子们，不许他们喧闹，不许他们骚扰我；我真的常常抱怨他们发出的叫嚷声；想必，因此他们现在不喜．欢我！“忠实的科利亚，”我这么叫唤他，我想，我也把他折磨得够了。近来他也折磨我；这一切是自然的，之所以创造人，就是为了互相折磨。但是我发现，他是受我的焦躁易怒，仿佛事先就对自己立下誓言要宽恕一个病人；自然，这惹得我生气；但是，他好像忽然想出来要模仿公爵的“基督式的克制忍让”，这已经有点可笑了。这是个年轻，热情的男孩，当然，他模仿一切；但我有时觉得他应该用自己的头脑来生活。我很喜欢他。我也折磨苏里科夫，他住在我们楼上，从早到晚为人家的委托跑腿；我经常向他证明，他贫穷是他自己的过错，因此终于把他吓坏了，便不再上我这里来了，这是个很温顺的人，温顺到极点的人（注意：据说，温顺是一种可怕的力量；应该向公爵询问一下这个问题，这是他自己的说法）；但是，当我三月份上楼到他那儿去想看看，他们那里是怎么“冻死”（这是他的活）孩子的，我无意间对他婴儿的尸体发出一声冷笑，因为我又开始向苏里科夫解释，这是他“自己的过错”，而这个瘦小的可怜虫突然双唇哆嗦起来，一只手抓住了我的肩胯，另一只手向我指着门口，轻轻地，也就是几乎是低语着对我说：“请走吧！”我走了出来，我很喜欢这样，甚至喜欢他赶我出来那一会儿；但是后来回想起来时，他的话久久地使我产生一种沉重的印象，对他有一种奇怪的轻蔑的怜悯，而我本来是完全不想体受这种感情的。甚至在受到这样侮辱的时刻（我可是感到，我侮辱了他，虽然我并没有这种意图），甚至在这样的时刻这个人也不会发火！他当时嘴唇哆嗦完全不是因为愤恨，我可以发誓：他抓住我的手，说出那句绝妙的“请走吧”，绝对不是生气，尊严是有的，甚至溢于言表，甚至完全于他不相称（因此，说真的，这里有许多滑稽的东西），但是没有愤恨。也许，他不过是突然蔑视起我来了。从那时起，有两三次我在楼梯上遇见他，他突然在我面前摘下帽子，过去是从来不这样做的，但已经不再像过去那样停下来，而是不好意思地跑了过去。即使他蔑视我，那也仍然是用他的方式：“温顺地蔑视”。也许，他摘下帽子不过是出于害怕，是向自己女债主的儿子致意，因为他经常欠我母亲的钱，怎么也无法摆脱债务。这甚至是最可能的情况。我本想跟他解释，同时我肯定，过了１０分钟他便会来向我请求原谅；但我考虑，最好还是不去碰他。 就在这个时候，也就是苏里科夫“冻死”小孩那个时候，３月中光景，我忽然不知怎么感到病情轻多了，这种状况继续了两星期。我开始到外面走走，往在是在黄昏时分。我喜欢３月的黄昏，那时白天的气温开始变寒冷，煤气街灯也点亮了；有时我走得相当远。有一次，在六铺街有一个“贵族”模样的人黑暗中赶过了我，我未能看清楚他；他拿着纸包起来的一包东西，穿着一件短小难看的夹大衣－－单薄得跟季节不相称。当他走到我前面１０步远的街灯下时，我发现，有东西从他口袋里掉了出来。我急忙捡起来，捡得很及时，因为已经有一个穿长褂的人急急跑近前来，但是看见我手中的东西后，他没有争论，只是迅速地瞥了一眼我手中的东西，就从身边溜走了。这件东西是一只塞得鼓鼓囊囊的老式山羊皮大钱包；但不知为什么第一眼我就猜到，里面什么都有，唯独没有钱。丢了东西的行人已经走在我前面有４０步远并很快就消失在人群中。我跑上前去向他叫喊；但是因为除了“喂！”没别的可喊叫，因此他都没有转过身来。忽然他向左一扬，进了一幢房子的大门。等我跑进黑乎平的大门，已经不见人影。这幢房子非常大，是一座庞大的建筑，这类房子是冒险投机家为租给小户人家建造的，这种大楼有时一幢里有上百套住宅。当我军过大门后，我觉得，在大院子右后角落里仿佛有一个人在行走，不过在黑暗中我勉强才能看清楚。我跑到角落，看见有个进口通注楼梯。楼梯很窄，异常肮脏，根本没有灯光；但是可以听到，在高处还有个人顺着梯级往上跑，于是我也开始登楼梯，估计在人家给他开问的时候，我能赶上他。结果正是这样。楼梯每一段都很短，有多少段都数不清，因此我气喘得要命；在五楼有人开了门又关了门，我知道这一点时还差三段楼梯。等我跑到上面，在楼梯口平息一下气喘，找寻门铃，已经过了好几分钟。终于给我开了门，开门的是一个在小厨房里吹茶炊的女人；她默默地听完我的问题，当然，什么也没听懂，又默默地为我打开了通向隔壁一问房间的门，房间也很小，低矮得不得了，有几件必要的蹩脚家具，挂着帘幔的一张又宽又大的床，床上躺着“捷连季伊奇” （女人这么喊他），我觉得，他喝醉了。桌上铁制小灯台上的蜡烛头即将燃尽。一只半俄升的瓶子几乎已经倒空。捷连季伊奇躺着对我哼哼哈哈说了些什么，朝隔壁一扇门挥了下手，而那个女人已经走开了，因此我没有别的办法，只能去开那扇门。我这样做了，走进了另一个房间。 这个房间比前面那一问更窄小拥挤，因此我甚至不知道什么地方可以转身；角落里一张窄小的单人床占去了很多地方；其余的家具一共就是三把堆满了各种破衣服的普通椅子，漆布面的沙发前一张极普通的厨房用的木桌，因此在桌子和床之间人几乎已经无法通过。在桌上和前面那个房间一样的铁制小灯台上点着一根脂油做的蜡烛，而在床上一个很小的婴儿在细声啼哭，从哭声来看，大概生下来才三个星期；替他“更换”，也就是换尿布的是一个脸色苍白的有病的女人，好像还年轻，穿看极为随便的家常衣服，也许是产后刚开始起床；但孩子一个劲地哭个不停，等着喂他干枯的乳汁。沙发上睡着另一个孩子，是个３岁的小姑娘，好像盖着一件燕尾服：在桌旁站着一位穿着很破旧的带礼服的先生（他已经脱下了大衣，放在床上），正打开蓝色的纸包，里面包着两俄磅小麦面包和两根小香肠。此外，桌上还有一壶茶和凡块黑面包；床底下露出一只未上锁的箱子和装着一些破旧衣服的两个包裹。 总之，一派杂乱无常的景象。瞧上一眼我就觉得他们两人－－先生和太太－－是正派人，但是被贫穷弄到有失尊严的境地，以致杂乱无章终于压倒了一切与之作斗争的尝试，甚至把人弄到痛苦地需要在这种与日俱增的杂乱无章中寻找某种痛苦的仿佛向谁报复似的快感。 我走进去时，在我前面也是才进去并刚打开自己食品的这位先生正跟妻子又快又热烈地交谈着什么；虽然那女的还没换好尿布，可是已经哭泣起来；想必丈夫告诉的照例是坏消息。这位先生看样子有２８岁左右，他脸容干枯，围着一圈连鬓黑胡子，下巴刮得精尤，使我觉得相当体面，甚至今人喜欢；这张脸很抑郁，目光也阴沉，带有一种病态的十分容易被激怒的傲气，我走进去后，就发生了一场奇怪的风波。 有些人在自己好激动生气、易受委屈中获得一种异常的满足，尤其是在他那里受委屈达到最大限度的时候是这样（这总是发生得很快的）；在这种时刻甚至受委屈比不受委屈对他们来说好像觉得更痛快。这些易发火的人后来总是十分悔恨，痛苦异常，当然，如果他们是有头脑的人，能够明白他们发火超过了必要的十倍。这位先生谅异地望了我一会，而他妻子则很惊惧，仿佛有人会走进他们的房间是件令人可怕的奇事；但是突然他几乎是发狂似地扑向我；而我还没有来得及说上两句话，尤其在看到我穿得很体面时，想必他认为自己受到了莫大的侮辱，因为我竟敢如此不讲礼貌地窥看每一个角落并看见了他自己为此感到羞愧的整个杂乱无章的环境。当然，他也高兴有机会哪怕是对随便什么人发泄自己的愤恨，发泄自己的不走运，有一会儿我甚至以为他会过来要打架；他脸色发白，就像要人歇斯底里发作那样，把他妻子吓坏了。 “您怎么竟敢就这么走进来了？滚！”他嚷着，浑身打着颤，几乎说不出话来。但突然他看见了我手中拿着他的钱包。 “好像是您失落的，”我尽可能平静和平地说。（不过，也应该这样。） 他站在我面前惊恐慌万状，一度仿佛６都不明白；后来迅即抓住自己的侧袋，吓得张大了嘴，用手拍了一下脑门。 “天哪！您在什么地方找到的？怎么找到的？” 我用最简短的话，尽量更平淡地说明，怎么捡起钱包，怎么奔跑和叫他，最后，怎么凭猜测，跟在他后面几乎是摸索着上了楼梯。 “哦，天哪！”他转向妻子发出一声惊叹，“这里有我们的全部证件，有我最后的一些器械，这里有所有的……哦，亲爱的先生，您知道吗，您为我做了什么？否则我就完蛋了！” 与此同时我抓住了门把手，打算不回答就离开；但是我自己气喘吁吁，突然我的激动引发出一阵极其强烈的咳嗽，几乎连站都站不稳。我看见这位先生到处乱钻，想为我找一把空椅子，最后他从一把椅子上抓起破旧衣服丢到地上，急忙把椅子挪给我，小心翼翼地安顿我坐下，但我的咳嗽继续着，不停地又咳了足足３分钟。等我明白过来，他已经坐在我旁边的另一张椅子上（大概，也把破旧衣服从那上面扔到地上），专注地凝视着我。 “您，好像……有病？”他用通常是医生着手治病人看病时用的口吻说，“我自己……是搞医的（他没有说是大夫）”，说完这话，不知为什么对我指了一下房间，仿佛是对自己目前的境况表示抗议，“我看得出来，您……” “我有肺病，”我尽可能简短地说，并站起身。 他马上就跳起来。 “也许，您是夸大了……采取些治疗手段……” 他显得十分慌乱，不知所措，仿佛没有恢复常态，左手持着那只大皮夹。 “哦，您别担心”，我抓住门把手，又打断他说，”Ｂ大夫（我这时又把Ｂ大夫插了进来）上星期给我检查过，我的病情已经确诊了。对不起……” 我本来又想打开门，撇下我这位心怀感激的又窘困异常，羞愧难当的大夫，但是可恶的咳嗽偏偏又一次袭住了我。这时我这位大夫就坚持要我再坐下休息一会；他向妻子示意，她就在原地对我说了几句感激和欢迎的话。与此同时她很不好意思，甚至在地苍白蜡黄干瘪的脸上浮现出红晕。我留了下来，但是显示出每秒钟都生怕使他们感到拘束的样子（这是应该的）。我这位大夫终因悔恨而痛苦不安，这我看得出来。 “如果我……”他开始说，但不时中断和转换话题，“我非常感激您，又非常对不起您……我……您也看见了……”他又指了指房间，“目前我处于这么一种境况……” “哦，”我说，“不用看；自然，您大概丢了差事，来申诉和重找职位吧。” “您怎么……知道的？”他惊奇地问。 “一眼就看得出来，”我不由自主地用嘲笑的口吻回答说，“有许多人满怀希望从外省到这里来，到处奔走，就是这样生活的。” 他突然双唇颤动着急切地说了起来；他开始抱怨，开始叙述，我承认，他吸引住了我；我在他那里坐了几乎１小时。他对我讲了自己的经历，不过是很平常的经历。他是外省的医生，有公职，但是那里有人搞起了阴谋，甚至把他妻子也牵连了进去。他很自负，也很气忿；但是省里长官人选的变动有利于他的敌人；他们挖他的墙角，说他的坏话；他就丢了职位，用最后一点钱来到彼得堡申诉；在彼得堡，自然，很长时问都不睬他，后来听了他的申诉，接着便是拒绝，接着又以许诺来诱惑，接着则是严词答复，后来又让让他把什么情况写个说明，接着又拒绝接受他写的东西，要他递呈文，--总之，他已经奔走了四个多月，所有的钱都吃光了；妻子的最后几件衣服也当了，而这时又生下了孩子，而且……而且“今天呈文最终被拒绝了，而我几乎连面包也没有，一无所有，妻子刚生过孩子、我，我……” 他从椅子上跳起来转过身去。他妻子在角落里哭泣，孩子又开始啼器。我掏出笔记本，记下一些情况，当我写完站起身的时候，他站在我面前，既害怕又好奇地望着我。 “我记下了您的名字。”我对他说，“嗯，还有其他一些情况，如任职地点，你们省长的名字，日期，月份等等。我有一位中学同学，姓巴赫渗托夫，他有个伯父彼得·马特维那维奇·已赫穆托夫，是四等文官，现在当什么长……” “彼得·马特维那维奇·巴赫穆托夫！”我这位医生差不多打起颤来，惊呼道，“要知道一切几乎就取决于他呢！” 实际上，在我这位医生的遭遇以及我无意中促成的结局中，一切都是巧合并得到了顺利解决，仿佛故意这样安排似的，完全像小说里写的那样。我对这对可怜的人儿说，他们尽量不要对我抱有任何希望，我自己是个贫困的中学生（我故意夸大了自己的卑微；其实我早已中学毕业，不是中学生了）他们没必要知道我的名字，但是我马上就去瓦西里耶夫斯基岛去找我的同学巴赫穆托夫，因为我确切知道，他那四等文官的伯父是个独身者，没有孩子，对他的侄子喜欢至极，把他奉若神明，将他看做是自己家族的最后一个苗裔，因此“也许我的同学能为你们，为我做点什么，当然，是在他伯父面前……” “只要允许我向大人说明情况！只要能有幸进行口头说明！”他高声嚷着，像患热病那样浑身打颤，眼睛炯炯发光。他是这么说的：能有幸。我又再次表示，事情也许不会成功，一切也就将成为空话，我还补充说，如果明天上午我不到他们那儿去，那也就是说，事情完蛋了，他们就不必等了。他们一再鞠躬送我出来，几乎激动得有些精神失常。我永远不会忘记他们脸上的表情，我雇了马车，立即出发去瓦西里耶夫斯基岛。 我跟这个巴赫穆托夫在中学里有好几年经常处于敌对状态。他在我们中间被认为是贵族，至少我是这么叫他的。他穿着很漂亮，乘自己的马车，但他一点也不夸耀自己，总之是个非常好的同学，总是非常决活，有时甚至很俏皮，虽然他智力完全不高，尽管他在班上总得第一；我却无论哪方面从来也没有当过第一。所有的同学除我一人，全都喜欢他。在这几年中他曾经有几次来接近我，但每次我都阴沉着脸，气冲冲地不理睬他。现在我已经有一年没有看见他了；他在上大学。８点多钟我进去见他（规矩挺大：仆人通报了我），开始他惊奇地迎接我，甚至完全不表示欢迎，但马上就变开心了，望着我，突然哈哈大笑起来。 “捷连季耶夫，您怎么想起要到我这儿来的。”他嚷了起来，还是用平时那种亲切随便的口气，有时毫不顾忌，但从来也不伤害人，我喜欢他就是这一点，但是恨他也是这一点。“但是，这是怎么啦，”他惊恐地叫了起来，“您病成这个样子！” 咳嗽又一次折磨我，我倒在椅子上，勉强喘过气来。 “别担心，我有肺病，”我说，“我对您有个请求。” 他惊异地坐了下来，我马上把医生的全部遭遇对他做了叙述，并说明，他本人对他伯父有着非同一般的影响，也许，他能做点什么。 “我做，一定做，明天就向伯父进攻；我甚至很高兴，而且您把这一切讲得这么好……但是，捷连季耶夫，您这是怎么想起来找我的呢？” “这件事很大程度上取决于您的伯父，再说，巴赫穆托夫，我们过去总是敌人，而因为您是个高尚的人，因此我想，您不会拒绝敌人的，”我含着讽刺说。 “就像拿破仑向英国求助一样！”他哈哈大笑着叫着，“我会做的，会做的！如果可以的话，甚至现在就去！”他看见我一本正经严肃地起身，急忙补充说。 确实，这件事意想不到地办得不能再好了，过了一个半月我们的医生重又得到了职位，是在另一个省，领到了路费，甚至还有补助。我怀疑经常去他们那儿的巴赫穆托夫（当时我却因此故意不去他们那里，对跑来看我的医生态度也几乎很冷漠），我怀疑巴赫穆托夫甚至劝说他们接受他的借款。这六个星期里我见到巴赫穆托夫两次，第三次碰面是在给医生送行的时候。这次饯别巴赫穆托夫安排在自己家里，以喝香槟用晚餐的形式进行。医生的妻子也出席了，不过，她很快就回去照料小孩了。这是５月初一个晴朗的傍晚，太阳像一个巨大的球降落到海湾里。巴赫穆托夫送我回家；我们顺着尼古拉耶夫斯基桥漫步，两人都有几分醉意。巴赫穆托夫谈到自己欢喜的心情，因为这件事了结得这么好，他还为什么事而感激我，他解释说，在做了这件好事后现在他是多么愉决，他相信，一切功劳都归于我，而现在许多人告诫和宣传做个别件把好事是丝毫没有意义的，这是没有道理的。我也想谈得不得了。 “谁要是否定个别的‘善行’，”我开始说，“谁就是否定人的本性和蔑视他个人的人格。但是组织‘社会的慈善事来夕和个人自由问题--这是两个不同的同时又不互相排斥的问题。个别的善行将永远存在，因为这是个人的需要，是一个人直接影响另一个人的有现实意义的需要。在莫斯科有一个老人，是位‘将军’，也就是四等文官，有德国名字；他整整一生都在狱堡和犯人中奔波；每一批流放去西伯利亚的犯人都事先知道，在麻雀山将会有一个‘将军老头’去看望他们。他做自己的事认真和虔诚到了极点；他出现在哪里，总要走遍每一排围住他的流放犯，在每个人面前停下来。详细询问每个人的需求，他几乎也不向谁进行说教，把他们大家称为“亲爱的”，他给他们钱，寄必需的用品--绑腿、裹脚布、麻布，有时带些劝人为善的小册子来，分给每个识字的罪犯，他充分相信，他们会在路上读这些书，而且识字的会念给不识字的听。他很少询问犯了什么罪，如果罪犯自己开始讲，他也就听着。他对所有的罪犯都一视同仁，不加区别。他跟他们说话就像跟兄弟一样，但是他们自己最后都把他看做父亲，如果他发现哪个流放的女人手上抱着孩子，他就走近前去，对孩子爱抚一阵，用手指打几个榧子逗他笑。多年来他就是这样做的直至死去；后来整个俄罗斯、整个西伯利亚都知道他，也就是所有的罪犯都知道他。有一个过去在西伯利亚呆过的人对我说，自己就是个见证人，那些最冥顽不化的罪犯也常回忆起将军，其实呢，将军去看望一批批犯人时，给每个兄弟的钱难得超过２０戈比的。确实，他们回忆起他并非那么炽热或者非常正经，有一个‘倒霉鬼’打死过１０个人，害过６个孩子，仅仅是为了得到一种满足（据说是有这样的人），突然什么时候，也许整整２０年里也就这么一回，他忽然无缘无故会发出一声长叹并且说。‘现在将军老头怎么样了，还在不在世？’说这话时，也许还会付之一笑，--就此而已。您又怎么知道， 他二十年未忘怀的这位将军老头，在他心中永远播下了一颗什么种子、您又怎么知道，巴赫穆托夫，一个人亲近另一个人，这对被亲近的人的命运会有什么样的意义？……要知道这时有整个人生和多得不计其数的我们所不知道的岔道，最优秀的棋手，他们中最机智的也只能预料后面几步棋；一位能顶上士步棋的法国棋手，已被当作神奇的事而大写特写了。而人生又有多少步，我们不知道的事又有多少？当您撒下您的种子，当您撒下您的‘善行’、无论哪种形式的好事，您就奉献了您的一部分个性，同时也接收了别人的一部分个性；你们彼此互相了解；再稍加一注意，您已经得到知识、最意外的发现作为补偿。最后，您一定会把您所做的事看作是门科学，它将会把您的整个生命都吸引住，还能充实整个生命。从另一方面来说，所有您的思想，所有被您撒下、也许已经被您遗忘的种子，将会得到体现和发育成长；从您那里有所获的人将会把它们传递给别的人。您怎么知道，您将怎样参与未来决定人类的命运？如果知识和这项工作的整个生命力最后将使您上升到能撒下巨大的种于、能给世界留下伟大的思想作遗产，那么……”诸如此类的话，我当时说了许多。 “可是与此同时倒想想，你却要失去生命！”巴赫穆托夫激烈地责备着向什么人嚷道。 那时我们站在桥上，胳膊时撑在栏杆上，望着涅瓦河。 “您知道吗，我想到什么了？”我更向栏杆俯下身去，说。 “难道想要投河？”巴赫穆托夫几乎惊恐地嚷了起来。也许，他在我的脸上看出了我的思想。 “不，暂时还只是下面这样一种想法，现在我还剩两三个月可活，也许是四个月；但是，比方说，一共还有两个月，而假如我又非常想做一件好事，这需要工作、奔走和张罗，就像我们的医生那样的事，在这种情况下因为我剩下的时间不够，只能放弃做这件事，另找一件‘好事’，小一点的，找力所能及的（如果这么强烈地吸引我去做好的话）。您一定认为，这是个可笑的想法！” 可怜的巴赫舟托夫非常为我忧急不安；他送我到家门口，而且非常知趣，没有说一次安慰话，几乎一直沉默着。跟我告别的时候，他热情地握着我的手，请求允许他来看望我。我回答他说，如果他是作为“安慰者”到我这儿来（因为即使他沉默不语，他来也仍然是作为“安慰者”，我对他说明这一点），那么他每次这样做就将会使我更多地想到死。他耸了耸肩膀，但同意了我；我们分手时相当客气，我甚至没有料到。 但是这个晚上和这个夜里撒下了我“最后信念”的第一颗种子。我贪婪地抓住这个新思想，贪婪地分析它所有的细微之处和各种形态（我整夜没有睡着），我越是深入这思想，越是接受它，就越是感到惧怕。可怕的恐惧终于袭往了我，在接下来的日子里也不离去。有时候、在想到我的这种经常性的惊惧时，我又会因为新的恐惧的吓得浑身冰凉，根据这种恐惧我可以得出结论，我的“最后信念”印在头脑里太深刻了，一定会有个解决。但是要解决，我又缺少决心。

Part 3 Chapter 5 HIPPOLYTE, who had fallen asleep during Lebedeff's discourse, now suddenly woke up, just as though someone had jogged him in the side. He shuddered, raised himself on his arm, gazed around, and grew very pale. A look almost of terror crossed his face as he recollected. "What! are they all off? Is it all over? Is the sun up?" He trembled, and caught at the prince's hand. "What time is it? Tell me, quick, for goodness' sake! How long have I slept?" he added, almost in despair, just as though he had overslept something upon which his whole fate depended. "You have slept seven or perhaps eight minutes," said Evgenie Pavlovitch. Hippolyte gazed eagerly at the latter, and mused for a few moments. "Oh, is that all?" he said at last. "Then I--" He drew a long, deep breath of relief, as it seemed. He realized that all was not over as yet, that the sun had not risen, and that the guests had merely gone to supper. He smiled, and two hectic spots appeared on his cheeks. "So you counted the minutes while I slept, did you, Evgenie Pavlovitch?" he said, ironically. "You have not taken your eyes off me all the evening--I have noticed that much, you see! Ah, Rogojin! I've just been dreaming about him, prince," he added, frowning. "Yes, by the by," starting up, "where's the orator? Where's Lebedeff? Has he finished? What did he talk about? Is it true, prince, that you once declared that 'beauty would save the world'? Great Heaven! The prince says that beauty saves the world! And I declare that he only has such playful ideas because he's in love! Gentlemen, the prince is in love. I guessed it the moment he came in. Don't blush, prince; you make me sorry for you. What beauty saves the world? Colia told me that you are a zealous Christian; is it so? Colia says you call yourself a Christian." The prince regarded him attentively, but said nothing. "You don't answer me; perhaps you think I am very fond of you?" added Hippolyte, as though the words had been drawn from him. "No, I don't think that. I know you don't love me." "What, after yesterday? Wasn't I honest with you?" "I knew yesterday that you didn't love me." "Why so? why so? Because I envy you, eh? You always think that, I know. But do you know why I am saying all this? Look here! I must have some more champagne--pour me out some, Keller, will you?" "No, you're not to drink any more, Hippolyte. I won't let you." The prince moved the glass away. "Well perhaps you're right," said Hippolyte, musing. They might say--yet, devil take them! what does it matter?--prince, what can it matter what people will say of us THEN, eh? I believe I'm half asleep. I've had such a dreadful dream--I've only just remembered it. Prince, I don't wish you such dreams as that, though sure enough, perhaps, I DON'T love you. Why wish a man evil, though you do not love him, eh? Give me your hand--let me press it sincerely. There--you've given me your hand--you must feel that I DO press it sincerely, don't you? I don't think I shall drink any more. What time is it? Never mind, I know the time. The time has come, at all events. What! they are laying supper over there, are they? Then this table is free? Capital, gentlemen! I--hem! these gentlemen are not listening. Prince, I will just read over an article I have here. Supper is more interesting, of course, but--" Here Hippolyte suddenly, and most unexpectedly, pulled out of his breast-pocket a large sealed paper. This imposing-looking document he placed upon the table before him. The effect of this sudden action upon the company was instantaneous. Evgenie Pavlovitch almost bounded off his chair in excitement. Rogojin drew nearer to the table with a look on his face as if he knew what was coming. Gania came nearer too; so did Lebedeff and the others--the paper seemed to be an object of great interest to the company in general. "What have you got there?" asked the prince, with some anxiety. "At the first glimpse of the rising sun, prince, I will go to bed. I told you I would, word of honour! You shall see!" cried Hippolyte. "You think I'm not capable of opening this packet, do you?" He glared defiantly round at the audience in general. The prince observed that he was trembling all over. "None of us ever thought such a thing!" Muishkin replied for all. "Why should you suppose it of us? And what are you going to read, Hippolyte? What is it?" "Yes, what is it?" asked others. The packet sealed with red wax seemed to attract everyone, as though it were a magnet. "I wrote this yesterday, myself, just after I saw you, prince, and told you I would come down here. I wrote all day and all night, and finished it this morning early. Afterwards I had a dream." "Hadn't we better hear it tomorrow?" asked the prince timidly. "Tomorrow 'there will be no more time!'" laughed Hippolyte, hysterically. "You needn't be afraid; I shall get through the whole thing in forty minutes, at most an hour! Look how interested everybody is! Everybody has drawn near. Look! look at them all staring at my sealed packet! If I hadn't sealed it up it wouldn't have been half so effective! Ha, ha! that's mystery, that is! Now then, gentlemen, shall I break the seal or not? Say the word; it's a mystery, I tell you--a secret! Prince, you know who said there would be 'no more time'? It was the great and powerful angel in the Apocalypse." "Better not read it now," said the prince, putting his hand on the packet. "No, don't read it!" cried Evgenie suddenly. He appeared so strangely disturbed that many of those present could not help wondering. "Reading? None of your reading now!" said somebody; "it's supper- time." "What sort of an article is it? For a paper? Probably it's very dull," said another. But the prince's timid gesture had impressed even Hippolyte. "Then I'm not to read it?" he whispered, nervously. "Am I not to read it?" he repeated, gazing around at each face in turn. "What are you afraid of, prince?" he turned and asked the latter suddenly. "What should I be afraid of?" "Has anyone a coin about them? Give me a twenty-copeck piece, somebody!" And Hippolyte leapt from his chair. "Here you are," said Lebedeff, handing him one; he thought the boy had gone mad. "Vera Lukianovna," said Hippolyte, "toss it, will you? Heads, I read, tails, I don't." Vera Lebedeff tossed the coin into the air and let it fall on the table. It was "heads." "Then I read it," said Hippolyte, in the tone of one bowing to the fiat of destiny. He could not have grown paler if a verdict of death had suddenly been presented to him. "But after all, what is it? Is it possible that I should have just risked my fate by tossing up?" he went on, shuddering; and looked round him again. His eyes had a curious expression of sincerity. "That is an astonishing psychological fact," he cried, suddenly addressing the prince, in a tone of the most intense surprise. "It is ... it is something quite inconceivable, prince," he repeated with growing animation, like a man regaining consciousness. "Take note of it, prince, remember it; you collect, I am told, facts concerning capital punishment... They told me so. Ha, ha! My God, how absurd!" He sat down on the sofa, put his elbows on the table, and laid his head on his hands. "It is shameful--though what does it matter to me if it is shameful? "Gentlemen, gentlemen! I am about to break the seal," he continued, with determination. "I-I--of course I don't insist upon anyone listening if they do not wish to." With trembling fingers he broke the seal and drew out several sheets of paper, smoothed them out before him, and began sorting them. "What on earth does all this mean? What's he going to read?" muttered several voices. Others said nothing; but one and all sat down and watched with curiosity. They began to think something strange might really be about to happen. Vera stood and trembled behind her father's chair, almost in tears with fright; Colia was nearly as much alarmed as she was. Lebedeff jumped up and put a couple of candles nearer to Hippolyte, so that he might see better. "Gentlemen, this--you'll soon see what this is," began Hippolyte, and suddenly commenced his reading. "It's headed, 'A Necessary Explanation,' with the motto, 'Apres moi le deluge!' Oh, deuce take it all! Surely I can never have seriously written such a silly motto as that? Look here, gentlemen, I beg to give notice that all this is very likely terrible nonsense. It is only a few ideas of mine. If you think that there is anything mysterious coming--or in a word--" "Better read on without any more beating about the bush," said Gania. "Affectation!" remarked someone else. "Too much talk," said Rogojin, breaking the silence for the first time. Hippolyte glanced at him suddenly, and when their eye, met Rogojin showed his teeth in a disagreeable smile, and said the following strange words: "That's not the way to settle this business, my friend; that's not the way at all." Of course nobody knew what Rogojin meant by this; but his words made a deep impression upon all. Everyone seemed to see in a flash the same idea. As for Hippolyte, their effect upon him was astounding. He trembled so that the prince was obliged to support him, and would certainly have cried out, but that his voice seemed to have entirely left him for the moment. For a minute or two he could not speak at all, but panted and stared at Rogojin. At last he managed to ejaculate: "Then it was YOU who came--YOU--YOU?" "Came where? What do you mean?" asked Rogojin, amazed. But Hippolyte, panting and choking with excitement, interrupted him violently. "YOU came to me last week, in the night, at two o'clock, the day I was with you in the morning! Confess it was you!" "Last week? In the night? Have you gone cracked, my good friend?" Hippolyte paused and considered a moment. Then a smile of cunning--almost triumph--crossed his lips. "It was you," he murmured, almost in a whisper, but with absolute conviction. "Yes, it was you who came to my room and sat silently on a chair at my window for a whole hour--more! It was between one and two at night; you rose and went out at about three. It was you, you! Why you should have frightened me so, why you should have wished to torment me like that, I cannot tell--but you it was." There was absolute hatred in his eyes as he said this, but his look of fear and his trembling had not left him. "You shall hear all this directly, gentlemen. I-I--listen!" He seized his paper in a desperate hurry; he fidgeted with it, and tried to sort it, but for a long while his trembling hands could not collect the sheets together. "He's either mad or delirious," murmured Rogojin. At last he began. For the first five minutes the reader's voice continued to tremble, and he read disconnectedly and unevenly; but gradually his voice strengthened. Occasionally a violent fit of coughing stopped him, but his animation grew with the progress of the reading--as did also the disagreeable impression which it made upon his audience,--until it reached the highest pitch of excitement. Here is the article. MY NECESSARY EXPLANATION. "Apres moi le deluge. "Yesterday morning the prince came to see me. Among other things he asked me to come down to his villa. I knew he would come and persuade me to this step, and that he would adduce the argument that it would be easier for me to die' among people and green trees,'--as he expressed it. But today he did not say 'die,' he said 'live.' It is pretty much the same to me, in my position, which he says. When I asked him why he made such a point of his 'green trees,' he told me, to my astonishment, that he had heard that last time I was in Pavlofsk I had said that I had come 'to have a last look at the trees.' "When I observed that it was all the same whether one died among trees or in front of a blank brick wall, as here, and that it was not worth making any fuss over a fortnight, he agreed at once. But he insisted that the good air at Pavlofsk and the greenness would certainly cause a physical change for the better, and that my excitement, and my DREAMS, would be perhaps relieved. I remarked to him, with a smile, that he spoke like a materialist, and he answered that he had always been one. As he never tells a lie, there must be something in his words. His smile is a pleasant one. I have had a good look at him. I don't know whether I like him or not; and I have no time to waste over the question. The hatred which I felt for him for five months has become considerably modified, I may say, during the last month. Who knows, perhaps I am going to Pavlofsk on purpose to see him! But why do I leave my chamber? Those who are sentenced to death should not leave their cells. If I had not formed a final resolve, but had decided to wait until the last minute, I should not leave my room, or accept his invitation to come and die at Pavlofsk. I must be quick and finish this explanation before tomorrow. I shall have no time to read it over and correct it, for I must read it tomorrow to the prince and two or three witnesses whom I shall probably find there. "As it will be absolutely true, without a touch of falsehood, I am curious to see what impression it will make upon me myself at the moment when I read it out. This is my 'last and solemn'--but why need I call it that? There is no question about the truth of it, for it is not worthwhile lying for a fortnight; a fortnight of life is not itself worth having, which is a proof that I write nothing here but pure truth. ("N.B.--Let me remember to consider; am I mad at this moment, or not? or rather at these moments? I have been told that consumptives sometimes do go out of their minds for a while in the last stages of the malady. I can prove this tomorrow when I read it out, by the impression it makes upon the audience. I must settle this question once and for all, otherwise I can't go on with anything.) "I believe I have just written dreadful nonsense; but there's no time for correcting, as I said before. Besides that, I have made myself a promise not to alter a single word of what I write in this paper, even though I find that I am contradicting myself every five lines. I wish to verify the working of the natural logic of my ideas tomorrow during the reading--whether I am capable of detecting logical errors, and whether all that I have meditated over during the last six months be true, or nothing but delirium. "If two months since I had been called upon to leave my room and the view of Meyer's wall opposite, I verily believe I should have been sorry. But now I have no such feeling, and yet I am leaving this room and Meyer's brick wall FOR EVER. So that my conclusion, that it is not worth while indulging in grief, or any other emotion, for a fortnight, has proved stronger than my very nature, and has taken over the direction of my feelings. But is it so? Is it the case that my nature is conquered entirely? If I were to be put on the rack now, I should certainly cry out. I should not say that it is not worth while to yell and feel pain because I have but a fortnight to live. "But is it true that I have but a fortnight of life left to me? I know I told some of my friends that Doctor B. had informed me that this was the case; but I now confess that I lied; B. has not even seen me. However, a week ago, I called in a medical student, Kislorodoff, who is a Nationalist, an Atheist, and a Nihilist, by conviction, and that is why I had him. I needed a man who would tell me the bare truth without any humbug or ceremony--and so he did--indeed, almost with pleasure (which I thought was going a little too far). "Well, he plumped out that I had about a month left me; it might be a little more, he said, under favourable circumstances, but it might also be considerably less. According to his opinion I might die quite suddenly--tomorrow, for instance--there had been such cases. Only a day or two since a young lady at Colomna who suffered from consumption, and was about on a par with myself in the march of the disease, was going out to market to buy provisions, when she suddenly felt faint, lay down on the sofa, gasped once, and died. "Kislorodoff told me all this with a sort of exaggerated devil- may-care negligence, and as though he did me great honour by talking to me so, because it showed that he considered me the same sort of exalted Nihilistic being as himself, to whom death was a matter of no consequence whatever, either way. "At all events, the fact remained--a month of life and no more! That he is right in his estimation I am absolutely persuaded. "It puzzles me much to think how on earth the prince guessed yesterday that I have had bad dreams. He said to me, 'Your excitement and dreams will find relief at Pavlofsk.' Why did he say 'dreams'? Either he is a doctor, or else he is a man of exceptional intelligence and wonderful powers of observation. (But that he is an 'idiot,' at bottom there can be no doubt whatever.) It so happened that just before he arrived I had a delightful little dream; one of a kind that I have hundreds of just now. I had fallen asleep about an hour before he came in, and dreamed that I was in some room, not my own. It was a large room, well furnished, with a cupboard, chest of drawers, sofa, and my bed, a fine wide bed covered with a silken counterpane. But I observed in the room a dreadful-looking creature, a sort of monster. It was a little like a scorpion, but was not a scorpion, but far more horrible, and especially so, because there are no creatures anything like it in nature, and because it had appeared to me for a purpose, and bore some mysterious signification. I looked at the beast well; it was brown in colour and had a shell; it was a crawling kind of reptile, about eight inches long, and narrowed down from the head, which was about a couple of fingers in width, to the end of the tail, which came to a fine point. Out of its trunk, about a couple of inches below its head, came two legs at an angle of forty-five degrees, each about three inches long, so that the beast looked like a trident from above. It had eight hard needle-like whiskers coming out from different parts of its body; it went along like a snake, bending its body about in spite of the shell it wore, and its motion was very quick and very horrible to look at. I was dreadfully afraid it would sting me; somebody had told me, I thought, that it was venomous; but what tormented me most of all was the wondering and wondering as to who had sent it into my room, and what was the mystery which I felt it contained. "It hid itself under the cupboard and under the chest of drawers, and crawled into the corners. I sat on a chair and kept my legs tucked under me. Then the beast crawled quietly across the room and disappeared somewhere near my chair. I looked about for it in terror, but I still hoped that as my feet were safely tucked away it would not be able to touch me. "Suddenly I heard behind me, and about on a level with my head, a sort of rattling sound. I turned sharp round and saw that the brute had crawled up the wall as high as the level of my face, and that its horrible tail, which was moving incredibly fast from side to side, was actually touching my hair! I jumped up--and it disappeared. I did not dare lie down on my bed for fear it should creep under my pillow. My mother came into the room, and some friends of hers. They began to hunt for the reptile and were more composed than I was; they did not seem to be afraid of it. But they did not understand as I did. "Suddenly the monster reappeared; it crawled slowly across the room and made for the door, as though with some fixed intention, and with a slow movement that was more horrible than ever. "Then my mother opened the door and called my dog, Norma. Norma was a great Newfoundland, and died five years ago. "She sprang forward and stood still in front of the reptile as if she had been turned to stone. The beast stopped too, but its tail and claws still moved about. I believe animals are incapable of feeling supernatural fright--if I have been rightly informed,--but at this moment there appeared to me to be something more than ordinary about Norma's terror, as though it must be supernatural; and as though she felt, just as I did myself, that this reptile was connected with some mysterious secret, some fatal omen. "Norma backed slowly and carefully away from the brute, which followed her, creeping deliberately after her as though it intended to make a sudden dart and sting her. "In spite of Norma's terror she looked furious, though she trembled in all her limbs. At length she slowly bared her terrible teeth, opened her great red jaws, hesitated--took courage, and seized the beast in her mouth. It seemed to try to dart out of her jaws twice, but Norma caught at it and half swallowed it as it was escaping. The shell cracked in her teeth; and the tail and legs stuck out of her mouth and shook about in a horrible manner. Suddenly Norma gave a piteous whine; the reptile had bitten her tongue. She opened her mouth wide with the pain, and I saw the beast lying across her tongue, and out of its body, which was almost bitten in two, came a hideous white-looking substance, oozing out into Norma's mouth; it was of the consistency of a crushed black-beetle. just then I awoke and the prince entered the room." "Gentlemen!" said Hippolyte, breaking off here, "I have not done yet, but it seems to me that I have written down a great deal here that is unnecessary,--this dream--" "You have indeed!" said Gania. "There is too much about myself, I know, but--" As Hippolyte said this his face wore a tired, pained look, and he wiped the sweat off his brow. "Yes," said Lebedeff, "you certainly think a great deal too much about yourself." "Well--gentlemen--I do not force anyone to listen! If any of you are unwilling to sit it out, please go away, by all means!" "He turns people out of a house that isn't his own," muttered Rogojin. "Suppose we all go away?" said Ferdishenko suddenly. Hippolyte clutched his manuscript, and gazing at the last speaker with glittering eyes, said: "You don't like me at all!" A few laughed at this, but not all. "Hippolyte," said the prince, "give me the papers, and go to bed like a sensible fellow. We'll have a good talk tomorrow, but you really mustn't go on with this reading; it is not good for you!" "How can I? How can I?" cried Hippolyte, looking at him in amazement. "Gentlemen! I was a fool! I won't break off again. Listen, everyone who wants to!" He gulped down some water out of a glass standing near, bent over the table, in order to hide his face from the audience, and recommenced. "The idea that it is not worth while living for a few weeks took possession of me a month ago, when I was told that I had four weeks to live, but only partially so at that time. The idea quite overmastered me three days since, that evening at Pavlofsk. The first time that I felt really impressed with this thought was on the terrace at the prince's, at the very moment when I had taken it into my head to make a last trial of life. I wanted to see people and trees (I believe I said so myself), I got excited, I maintained Burdovsky's rights, 'my neighbour!'--I dreamt that one and all would open their arms, and embrace me, that there would be an indescribable exchange of forgiveness between us all! In a word, I behaved like a fool, and then, at that very same instant, I felt my 'last conviction.' I ask myself now how I could have waited six months for that conviction! I knew that I had a disease that spares no one, and I really had no illusions; but the more I realized my condition, the more I clung to life; I wanted to live at any price. I confess I might well have resented that blind, deaf fate, which, with no apparent reason, seemed to have decided to crush me like a fly; but why did I not stop at resentment? Why did I begin to live, knowing that it was not worthwhile to begin? Why did I attempt to do what I knew to be an impossibility? And yet I could not even read a book to the end; I had given up reading. What is the good of reading, what is the good of learning anything, for just six months? That thought has made me throw aside a book more than once. "Yes, that wall of Meyer's could tell a tale if it liked. There was no spot on its dirty surface that I did not know by heart. Accursed wall! and yet it is dearer to me than all the Pavlofsk trees!--That is--it WOULD be dearer if it were not all the same to me, now! "I remember now with what hungry interest I began to watch the lives of other people--interest that I had never felt before! I used to wait for Colia's arrival impatiently, for I was so ill myself, then, that I could not leave the house. I so threw myself into every little detail of news, and took so much interest in every report and rumour, that I believe I became a regular gossip! I could not understand, among other things, how all these people--with so much life in and before them--do not become RICH-- and I don't understand it now. I remember being told of a poor wretch I once knew, who had died of hunger. I was almost beside myself with rage! I believe if I could have resuscitated him I would have done so for the sole purpose of murdering him! "Occasionally I was so much better that I could go out; but the streets used to put me in such a rage that I would lock myself up for days rather than go out, even if I were well enough to do so! I could not bear to see all those preoccupied, anxious-looking creatures continuously surging along the streets past me! Why are they always anxious? What is the meaning of their eternal care and worry? It is their wickedness, their perpetual detestable malice--that's what it is--they are all full of malice, malice! "Whose fault is it that they are all miserable, that they don't know how to live, though they have fifty or sixty years of life before them? Why did that fool allow himself to die of hunger with sixty years of unlived life before him? "And everyone of them shows his rags, his toil-worn hands, and yells in his wrath: 'Here are we, working like cattle all our lives, and always as hungry as dogs, and there are others who do not work, and are fat and rich!' The eternal refrain! And side by side with them trots along some wretched fellow who has known better days, doing light porter's work from morn to night for a living, always blubbering and saying that 'his wife died because he had no money to buy medicine with,' and his children dying of cold and hunger, and his eldest daughter gone to the bad, and so on. Oh! I have no pity and no patience for these fools of people. Why can't they be Rothschilds? Whose fault is it that a man has not got millions of money like Rothschild? If he has life, all this must be in his power! Whose fault is it that he does not know how to live his life? "Oh! it's all the same to me now--NOW! But at that time I would soak my pillow at night with tears of mortification, and tear at my blanket in my rage and fury. Oh, how I longed at that time to be turned out--ME, eighteen years old, poor, half-clothed, turned out into the street, quite alone, without lodging, without work, without a crust of bread, without relations, without a single acquaintance, in some large town--hungry, beaten (if you like), but in good health--and THEN I would show them-- "What would I show them? "Oh, don't think that I have no sense of my own humiliation! I have suffered already in reading so far. Which of you all does not think me a fool at this moment--a young fool who knows nothing of life--forgetting that to live as I have lived these last six months is to live longer than grey-haired old men. Well, let them laugh, and say it is all nonsense, if they please. They may say it is all fairy-tales, if they like; and I have spent whole nights telling myself fairy-tales. I remember them all. But how can I tell fairy-tales now? The time for them is over. They amused me when I found that there was not even time for me to learn the Greek grammar, as I wanted to do. 'I shall die before I get to the syntax,' I thought at the first page--and threw the book under the table. It is there still, for I forbade anyone to pick it up. "If this 'Explanation' gets into anybody's hands, and they have patience to read it through, they may consider me a madman, or a schoolboy, or, more likely, a man condemned to die, who thought it only natural to conclude that all men, excepting himself, esteem life far too lightly, live it far too carelessly and lazily, and are, therefore, one and all, unworthy of it. Well, I affirm that my reader is wrong again, for my convictions have nothing to do with my sentence of death. Ask them, ask any one of them, or all of them, what they mean by happiness! Oh, you may be perfectly sure that if Columbus was happy, it was not after he had discovered America, but when he was discovering it! You may be quite sure that he reached the culminating point of his happiness three days before he saw the New World with his actual eves, when his mutinous sailors wanted to tack about, and return to Europe! What did the New World matter after all? Columbus had hardly seen it when he died, and in reality he was entirely ignorant of what he had discovered. The important thing is life-- life and nothing else! What is any 'discovery' whatever compared with the incessant, eternal discovery of life? "But what is the use of talking? I'm afraid all this is so commonplace that my confession will be taken for a schoolboy exercise--the work of some ambitious lad writing in the hope of his work 'seeing the light'; or perhaps my readers will say that 'I had perhaps something to say, but did not know how to express it.' "Let me add to this that in every idea emanating from genius, or even in every serious human idea--born in the human brain--there always remains something--some sediment--which cannot be expressed to others, though one wrote volumes and lectured upon it for five-and-thirty years. There is always a something, a remnant, which will never come out from your brain, but will remain there with you, and you alone, for ever and ever, and you will die, perhaps, without having imparted what may be the very essence of your idea to a single living soul. "So that if I cannot now impart all that has tormented me for the last six months, at all events you will understand that, having reached my 'last convictions,' I must have paid a very dear price for them. That is what I wished, for reasons of my own, to make a point of in this my 'Explanation.' "But let me resume. 列别杰夫的长篇大论将近尾声时在沙发上睡着的伊波利特现在忽然醒来了，就像有人推了一下他的腰部，他颤动了一下，抬起身，扫视四周，脸色一下子变得刷白；他甚至有点惊惧地环顾着周围；当他想起一切并且弄明白是怎么回事的时候，他的脸上几乎流露出惊恐的神色。 “怎么，他们都要走了？结束了？一切都结束了？太阳出来了？”他抓住公爵的手，惊慌不安地问，“几点钟了？看在上帝份上：几点了？我睡过头了。我睡很久了吗？”他几乎带着绝望的神情补充问着，仿佛他睡过了头，耽搁了什么至少是决定他整个命运的大事。 “您睡了七八分钟，”叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇回答说。 伊波利特贪婪地望了他一下，考虑了片刻。 “啊……只有七八分钟，这么说，我……” 他深深地贪婪地换了口气，仿佛要卸去自己身上异常沉重的负担。最后他悟到，什么都还“没有结束”，还没有天亮，客人们从桌边站起来只是为了小吃，结束的只不过是列别杰夫的一派胡言。他桀然一笑，脸颊上鲜明地显露出两团肺痨患者的红晕。 “我睡着几分钟您都计算了，叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇，”他嘲讽地接过话荐说，“整个晚上您的目光就没有离开过我，我看见的……啊！罗戈任！我刚才在梦里见到他了，”他皱了下收眉，点头表示着坐在桌旁的罗戈任，低声对公爵说。”“啊，对了，”他突然又转换了活题，“演说家在哪里？列别杰大在哪里，这么说，列别杰夫讲完了？他讲了些什么？公爵，有一次您说过，‘美，能拯救世界’，是这样吗？诸位，”他向大家大声喊了起来，“公爵确信．美能拯救世界！而我确信，他之所以有这样洒脱的思想，是因为他现在在恋爱。诸位，公爵在恋爱；刚才，他一走进来，我就确信这一点。别脸红，公爵，我将会可怜您的。什么样的美能拯救世界？科利亚向我转述了这点……您是个虔诚的基督教徒吗？科利亚说，您自称是基督教徒。” 公爵注意地端详着他，没有回答。 “您不回答我？您大概以为我很喜欢您吧？”伊波利特像是撕下了脸皮，突然补了一句。 “不，我没这样想。我知道，您不喜欢我。” “什么？甚至在昨天的事后也这样想？昨天我对您是真诚的吧？” “就是昨天我也知道，您不喜欢我。” “也就是说，是因为我羡慕您，嫉妒您？您总是这样想，而且现在还这么想，但是……但是我又何必告诉您这一点呢？我还想喝一点香槟；凯勒尔，给我倒上。” “您不能再喝了，伊波利特，我不给您……” 公爵从他身边移开了酒杯。 “这倒是真的……”他似乎若有所思地立即就同意道，“也许有人还会说……他们说什么关我屁事！不是吗，不是吗？让他们以后去说吧，公爵，是吗？再说以后会怎样跟我们大家有什么相于！……不过，我还没有睡醒，我做了个多么可怕的梦呀，现在才想起来……但愿你不做这样的梦，公爵，虽然我也许确实不喜欢您。其实，即使不喜欢一个人，又何必一定希望他不好呢，不是吗？干吗老是在间我，老是我在间！把您的手给我；我要紧紧握住它，就像这样……不过，您会把手伸给我吗？这么说，您知道，我是真心诚意要握您的手吗？……看来我不能再喝了，几点钟了？其实，不用问，我知道是几点钟。时候到了！现在正是时候。这是干什么，那边角落里在摆小吃吗？这么说，这张桌子是空的吗？好极了！诸位，我……可是所有这些先生们都不在听……我打算念一篇文章，公爵；小吃当然更有意思，但是……” 突然，完全出人意料地，他从自己上衣侧袋中掏出一个公文袋大小的大纸袋，上面还盖着大大的红印章。他把它放在面前桌上。 这一意外的举动在对此没有思想准备，或者最好说，在有思想准备、可不是对此有思想准备的这一群人中产生了强烈的效果。叶甫益尼·帕夫洛维奇甚至在自己的座位上跳了起来；加尼亚迅速走近桌旁；罗戈任也是，但带着一种不满的烦恼，他仿佛明白是怎么一回事。凑巧就在近旁的列别杰夫睁大一双好奇的眼睛走近去看那纸袋，竭力想猜透是怎么回事。 “您这是什么东西？”公爵不安地问。 “太阳一露边，我就躺下，公爵，我说过的；我保证，您瞧着吧！”伊波利特大声嚷道，“但是……但是……难道您认为，我不能拆开这包东西吗。”他补充说着，一边用一种挑衅的神情扫视着周围所有的人，同时又仿佛漫不经心地对大家说。公爵发觉，他浑身都在打颤。 “我们谁也没有这样想，”公爵替大家回答，“再说，为什么您认为，有人会有这样的想法？您要念文章，这算什么怪念头？您这里是什么，伊波利特？” “这里是什么？他又发生什么不寻常的事了？”周围的人问道。 大家都走拢来，有的人还边吃着东西；红印封口的纸袋像磁铁一般吸引着大家。 “这是昨天我自己写的，就在我向您保证要注到您这儿来后立即写的，公爵。我昨天写了一整天，接着又写了一夜，今天早晨才写完；夜里，临到凌晨时，我还做了个梦……” “明天念不更好吗？”公爵畏怯地打断说。 “明天就‘不再有时间了！”伊波利特歇斯底里地冷笑了一下，“不过别操心，我在４０分钟内读完，嗯……１小时吧……您看见了，大家多么感兴趣；大家都走拢来了；大家都在望着我的印记；要是我不把文章封在纸袋里就不会有任何效果！哈－哈！这就是秘密性意味着什么；诸位，拆还是不拆？他喊着，一边发出奇怪的笑声，眼睛闪闪发亮。“秘密！秘密！记得吗，公爵，是谁宣布‘不再有时间’的？是《启示录》中一位伟大和强大的天使说的。” “最好别念了！”突然叶甫盖尼·帕夫洛维奇大声嚷了起来，但是他身上有一种意想不到的不安神情，这使许多人感到奇怪。 “别念吧！”公爵把手放到纸袋上嚷道。 “读什么呀？现在该吃东西，”有人指出。 “文章？要投杂志还是怎么的？”另一个人探问着。 “也许，很乏味。”又一位添了一句。 “到底是怎么一回事。”其余的人探询着。但是公爵那吓人的动作真的将伊波利特本人也吓住了。 “这么说……不念？”他有点担心地向公爵低语道，在发青的嘴唇上带着尴尬的微笑。“不念吗？”他喃喃着，一边用目光扫视着所有在场的人、所有的脸和所有的眼睛，仿佛又带着过去那种像要攻击一切人的好斗架势盯着大家不放。“您……害怕了？”他又转身问公爵。 “怕什么？”公爵问道，脸色变得越来越难看。 “谁有两毛钱币，２０戈比的？”突然伊波利特从椅子上跳起身，就像有人猛地把他拽下来似的，“随便什么硬币？” “哈！”列别杰夫马上递了给他；他闪过一个念头，有病的伊波利特精神不正常。 “维拉·鲁基扬诺夫娜！”伊波利特急促地邀请说，“来拿着，将它抛到桌子上，看是正面还是反面朝上？正面朝上，就念。” 维拉惊惧地望了一眼硬币，又望了一眼伊波利特，然后还望了一下父亲。她似乎确信她自己不应该看硬币，因此朝上昂起头，有点不好意思地把硬币丢在桌上。掉下来的是正面朝上。 “念！”伊波利特喃喃说，似乎命运作出的决定把他压倒了；即使是向他宣读死刑判决，他的脸色也不会变得更苍白。“不过，”沉默了半分钟后他突然打了个颤，说“这是怎么回事？难道我刚才抛了签。”他还是带着那种死乞白赖、毫无顾忌的目光打量着周围所有的人，“但是，这可是一种令人惊奇的心理特征！”他转向公爵，真正惊讶地突然大声嚷了起来，“这是……这是不可思议的一种特征，公爵。”他重复着说，精神振奋而且似乎镇静了下来。“您把它记下来，公爵，记住它，您不是正在搜集有关死刑的材料吗，……人家对我说的！哈－哈！啊，天哪，这是多么糊涂的荒唐之举呀！”他坐到沙发上，两个手肘撵在桌上，双手抱着自己的脑袋，“这可甚至是羞耻：……但是羞耻关我屁事，”他几乎立即就抬起头，“诸位！诸位，我来启封，”他带着一种突如其来的决心宣布着，“我……不过，我不强迫你们听！……” 他用激动得了抖的双手拆开了纸袋，从里面抽出几张信纸，上面密密麻麻写满了字，将它们放到自己面前，开始把它们展平。 “这是什么？这是怎么回事，要念什么？”一些人阴郁地嘟哝着，另一些人沉默着。但是大家都安坐下来了，好奇地望着。也许，他们确实是在等待着什么异乎寻常的事情。维拉抓住父亲坐的椅子，吓得差点要哭了；科利亚几乎也一样惊惧。已经坐好的列别杰夫突然欠起身，抓住烛台，把它侈近伊波利特，让他读起来光线亮些…… “诸位，这……你们马上就会看到这是什么东西，”伊波利特不知为什么添上这句话，突然就开始念起来：“《必要的解释》！题头是《Ａｐｒｅｓ ｍｏｉ ｌｅｄｅｌｕｇｅ》＊……呸，真见鬼。”他像被烫了似的大声喊着，“难道我真的会写上这样愚蠢的题头？……听着，诸位！……我要你们相信，所有这一切说到底也许都是最不值一提的！这仅仅是我的一些想法……如果你们认为，这里面……有什么秘密的或者……被禁的内容……总之……” “念吧，不用开场白，”加尼亚打断说。 “真够绕来绕去的！” “废话真多。”一直保持沉默的罗戈任插了一句。 伊波利特忽然看了他一眼，当他们的目光相遇时，罗戈任痛苦而又恼恨地咧嘴一笑，缓慢地说了一句奇怪的话： “小伙子，这种事不应该这么干，不这么干的……” 罗戈任想说什么，当然谁也不明白，但是他的这句话却使大家产生了相当奇怪的印象；有一个共同的想法模糊地掠过了每个人的头脑。这句话对伊波利特可产生了可怕的影响：他颤粟得厉害，以致公爵想伸出手来扶住他，要不是他的嗓子突然明显地失了音，他一定会大声喊出来的。整整１分钟他说不出一句话来，只是沉重地喘息着，一直望着罗戈任。终于，他边喘着气，边异常费劲地说： “那么是您……您曾经……您？” “曾经怎么啦？我怎么啦？”罗戈任困惑不解地回答着，但是伊波利特怒气勃发，近乎疯狂（它突然主宰了他的心态），尖厉和有力地喊了起来： “您上个星期曾经到过我那里，是夜里１点多，就是上午我到您那里去的那一天，是您得承认吧，是不是您？” “上个星期，夜里？你别真的疯了，小伙子？” “小伙子”又沉默了１分钟，食指点在额头上，仿佛是要想想清楚；但是在他苍白的脸仍然挂着因恐惧而显得尴尬的微笑，这微笑中突然闪过某种似乎是狡猾的、甚至是洋洋得意的神情。 “这是您！”最后他重复说，几乎是喃喃低语，但是异常确信，“您到我这儿来，默默地坐在我窗口的椅子上，整整有１小时，甚至更长；在半夜零点多和１点多的时候；后来在两点多钟时您站起身走了……这是您，是您！为什么您要吓唬我，为什么您要来折磨我，－－我不明白，但这是您！” ＊法语：我死后纵然洪水泛滥。 他的目光中突然闪过无限的憎恨，尽管他身上一直没有停止因恐惧而产生的颤栗。 “诸位，你们马上就将知道这一切，我……我……听着吧。” 他又非常急促地抓起那几张纸；它们散乱着，他竭力把它们归到一起；纸在他颤抖的手中抖动着；他好久都不能安定下来。 终于开始了念读。起先有５分钟光景，出人意料的文章作者还喘息不止念得既不连贯也不平稳；但后他的声音就坚定起来，完全能表达所念的内容了，只是有时候十分强烈的咳嗽中断了朗读；文章念到一半他的声音沙得很厉害；他越是念下去，异常的亢奋就越来越强烈地控制着他，最后达到了最高的程度，就像给听众留下的病态印象一样。下面就是这篇“文章”的全文 我的必要的解释 Apresmiie deluge! 昨天上午公爵到我这儿来；顺便说，他劝我撇到他的别墅去住。我就知道，他一定会坚持这一点的，我深信，他会直截了当地贸然向我说，我在别墅会“在人们和树木中比较轻松地死去”，这是他的说法。但是今天他没有说到死，而说了“将会比较轻松地生活”，但是，处于我这种状况，对于我来说几乎是一样的。我问他他这么不停地提到“树木”暗指着什么，为什么他要把这些 “树木”强加给我？我惊讶地从他那儿获悉，那天晚上我自己仿佛曾这样表示过，说来到帕夫洛夫斯克是要最后一次看看树木。当时我向他指出，在树木底下也罢，望着窗外我的砖墙也罢，反正一样死去，为了两个星期不必这么客气，他立即就同意了；但是，他认为，绿荫和纯净的空气一定会在我身上引起某种生理上的变化，我的容易激动，我的容易做梦也都会改变，也许，会有所缓和。我又笑着向他指出，他说话像个唯物主义者。他微笑着回答我，他一直是个唯物主义者。因为他从来也不撒谎，所以这话是有一定道理的。他的微笑很动人；我现在看他看得比较仔细。我不知道，我现在喜欢他还是不喜欢他；现在我没时问顾得上考虑这一点。应该指出，五个月来我对他的憎恨在最近这一个月里完全平息了。谁知道，也许，我到帕夫洛夫斯克来，主要是为了见到他。但是……为什么当时我要离开我的房间呢？注定要死的人是不应该离开自己的角落的；假若我现在不做出最后的决定，我就会做相反的决定，一直等到最后时刻降临，那么，当然，无论如何也不会离开我的房间，也就不会接受搬到帕夫洛夫斯克他这儿来“死”的建议了。 我一定得在明天以前赶紧写完这篇“解释”。看来，我没有时间重看一遍和进行修改；明天为公爵和两三个见证人（我打算在他那儿找）念时再重看，因为这里没有一句谎言，纯粹全是真话，最后的、郑重的真话，所以我事先就感到很好奇，当我重读这篇“解释”时，在彼时彼刻它会对我自己产生付么样的印象？其实，我写上“最后的、郑重的真话”是多余的：为了两个星期本来就不值得撒谎，因为活两个星期是不值得的；这是我纯粹写真话的最好的证明。（注意，别忘了这样的想法：此刻，也就是说这时候我是不是疯了？有人很肯定地对我说，后期肺痨病人有时候会短暂性情神失常。明天念这篇“解释”时根据听众的印象来检验这一点。这个问题一定要完全确凿地解决：否则什么都无从着手做。 我觉得，我刚才写的是些愚不可及的蠢话，但是我说过了，我没有时问重新修改；除此之外，我对自己立下誓言，故意不修改这份手稿上的任一错字，甚至假如我自己发现每过五行就自相矛盾，也不以修改。我正是想在明天念它的时候来确定一下，我的逻辑思路是否正确；我是否能发现自己的错误，回而也就能检验这六个月里我在这个房间里反复思考的一切是否正确，还是纯粹是一片梦呓。 假如两个月前我就得像现在这样完全离开我的房间，告别梅那罗夫大楼的砖墙，那么我深信，我是会很忧伤的。现在我却没有感到什么，而到明天我就要离开房间，离开这堵墙了，而且永远离开！看来，为了两个星期已经不值得怜惜或者不值得沉缅于某种感受，这种信念已经战胜了我的天性，而且现在已经能主宰我的所有情感，但是真是这样吗？我的天性现在真的全被征服了吗？如果现在来拷打我，我一定会喊叫起来而不会说，因为只有两个星期好活，已经不值得喊叫和感觉疼痛了。 但是，我只能活两个星期，不会活更长时间，这是真的吗？当时在帕夫洛夫斯克我说了谎：ｂ先生什么都没对我说，也从来没有见过我，但是一星期前有人把一位大学生基斯洛罗多夫带到我这儿来；按信念来说他是个唯物主义者，无神论者和虚无主义者，这正是为什么我要叫他来的缘故；我需要有个人最终对我说出赤裸裸的真话，不要说委婉话，也不用说客气话。他就这样做了，不仅同意并且不讲客套，甚至显然还很乐意（依我看，这就已是多余的了）。他直截了当开口就说，我还能活一个月左右；如果有好的条件，也许还能多活些日子，但是，也可能早死得多。照他的意见，我可能会突然死去，甚至，比方说，就在明天常有这样的事，就在前天科洛姆纳的一位患肺痨、情况和我相似的年轻女士打算去市场买些食品，但突然感到不舒服，躺到沙发上，叹了一口气就死了。基斯洛罗多夫告诉我这一切时甚至带着一丝炫耀自己的无动于衷和漫不经心的样子，仿佛这样是我的荣誉，也就是以此表示，他把我也看做是与他一样的否定一切的高等生物，对他来说，死当然是不值一提的事。说到底终究是明摆着的事实：还能活一个月，绝不会更多！我完全相信，他没有弄错。 使我非常惊讶的是，为什么刚才公爵会猜到我常做恶梦、他确实说过，在帕夫洛夫斯克“我的激动和梦境”都会改变。为什么说到梦境呢？他要不是医生，要不就真的是个具有非凡智力的人，能料事如神。（但是他到底是个“白痴”，这一点是没有丝毫怀疑的。）好像故意似的，就在他来到之前我做了一个好梦（不时，那也是我现在所做的几百个梦中的一个）。我睡着了（我想，是在他来前一小时），梦见我在一个房间里（但不是我的房间）。房间比我原来的要大，要高，很明亮，家具也比较好，有大衣柜，五斗柜，沙发，我的床又宽又大，铺着绿色缎面的缎被。但是在这个房间里我发现有一只可怕的动物，不知是什久怪物。它有点儿像蝎子，但不是蝎子，而更丑恶，好像正是因为大自然里没有这样的动物而可怕得多，它故意出现在我的房间里，就这一点似乎包含着某种秘密。我对它看得清楚：它是褐色带硬亮的爬虫，长约四寸，头部有两指粗，向尾部渐渐变细，因此尾巴未端不超过十分之一寸粗。在离头部一寸的地方，从躯干上成四十五度角长出两只爪子，一面一只，两寸长左右，因而从上面看的话，整只动物就是呈三叉栽状。我没有细看他的头，但看见有两根触须，不太长，状如两根硬针，也是褐色的。在尾巴尖上和每一只爪于尖上都有这样的两根触须，这样，总共是八根触须。这动物在房间里跑起来很快，就靠爪子和尾巴作支撑，跑的时候，身体和爪子像蛇一样扭动，尽管有硬壳，跑得却异常快，这样子看起来非常恶心。我害怕得不得了，怕它螫我；有八对我说，这东西有毒，但最使我感到不安的是，谁把它放到我的房间里来的，想对我干什么，这里有什么秘密？它躲到五斗柜下面，大衣橱下面，爬到角落里。我连腿一起坐到椅子上面，把腿盘在身体下面。它很快地斜穿过整个房间，在我的椅子附近消失了。我恐惧地四处察看，但因为是盘腿而坐，因此指望它不会爬到椅子上来。突然我听见在我背后，儿子就在我脑袋旁边，有一种咯吱咯吱的声音；我转过身去看见，这家伙正顺着墙壁在爬，并已经爬到齐我头高的位置，那不停旋转和扭动的尾巴甚至触及我的头发。我跳了起来，这动物也就不见了。我怕躺到床上去，求它别钻到我枕头底下。我母亲和她的一位熟人来到了我房间。他们开始捉这坏东西，但他们比我镇静，甚至不害怕。但他们什么也不懂。突然这坏家伙又爬出来了；它这次爬得很安稳，仿佛有什么特别的意图似的，缓慢地扭动着，这更加令人厌恶，它又斜穿过房间，朝门口爬去。这时我母亲打开了门，唤了一声诺尔马，这是我家的一条狗，是一条黑色长毛纽芬兰犬，五年前已经死了。它奔到房间里，一动不动地站在那坏东西上方。那家伙也停住了，但仍然扭动着，爪子和尾巴端不停地在地上发出咯吱咯吱的声响。如果我没弄错的话，动物是不会感到神秘和恐惧的；但是此刻我觉得，诺尔马的恐惧中不知怎么的仿佛有某种十分不同寻常的，也仿佛有几乎是神秘的东西，它看来也像我一样预感到，在这恶物身上有某种不祥的东西和某种秘密。诺尔马在悄悄地、小心翼翼地朝它爬来的坏东西面前慢慢地后移着；而这恶物好像想突然朝它扑去，发动突然袭击。但是尽管十分惊惧，尽管浑身打颤，诺尔马还是十分凶狠地看着它。突然它慢慢地呲出自己可怕的牙齿，张开自己的血盆大口，摆好姿势，灵巧应战，打定主意，突然用牙齿咬住了这坏东西。想必是这东西用力挣脱了，企图溜走，因而诺尔马又一次急忙把它逮住，两次张开大嘴把这东西送进口中，仍然是急急忙忙地，像是吞食它。硬壳在其牙齿问发生咯咯的碎裂声；露在嘴外的动物尾巴和爪子以快得惊人的速度动弹着。突然诺尔马发出一声悲苦的尖叫声：这恶物终究得逞螫了它的舌头。诺尔马一边尖叫和哀号，一边痛得张大了嘴，我看见，被咬碎了的恶物横在它嘴中还在动弹，它从自己一半已被咬碎的躯体里放出许多白色的毒汁在狗的舌头上，这白色的毒汁就像被压死的黑蟑螂的液汁……这时我醒来了，公爵也走讲来了。 “诸位，”伊波利特突然中断朗读，甚至感到羞愧地说，“我没有重读一遍，但好像我确实写了许多多余的东西。这个梦……” “有一点儿，”加尼亚急忙插了一句。 “这里面个人的东西大多了、我承认，也就是有关我自己的……”说这话时，伊波利特的样子非常疲劳和衰弱，他用手帕擦去额上的汗珠，“是啊，您对自己太感兴趣了，”列别杰夫低声嘟哝说。 “诸位，我不强迫任何人，我再说一遍；谁不想听，谁可以走开。” “在别人家里……赶人走，”罗戈任勉强可闻地埋怨着。 “要是我们大家一下子都站起来走了，怎么样？”突然费尔迪先科说。不过，到目前为止他都未敢说一句话。 伊波利特突然垂下眼睛，抓起手稿；但在同１秒钟他又抬起了头，眼睛闪亮着，脸上两团红晕，直勾勾盯着费尔迪先科说： “您根本不喜欢我！” 响起了一片笑声；不过大部分人没有笑。伊波利特脸红得不得了。 “伊波利特，”公爵说，“合上您的手稿，把它交给我，而灯自己就在这里，在我房间里睡。睡觉前和明天我们再谈；但是无论如何，都别打开这些纸，愿意吗？” “这难道可能吗。”伊波利特大为惊讶地望着公爵说。“诸位！”他喊了一声，又狂热地兴奋起来，“真是个笨拙的插曲，我举止不当。我不会再中断朗读了。谁想听，就听吧……” 他尽快地从茶杯里吞了一口水，尽快地把臂肘撑在桌子上，躲开别人的目光，固执地开始继续念下去。不过，羞愧很快就过去了…… 不值得再活几个星期的想法（他继续念着）真正控制我，我想，约在一个月前，当时我还有四个星期可活，但是完全控制我是在三天以前，从帕夫洛夫斯克回来那天晚上起。这个念头完全、直接深入我心灵的最初那一瞬间是在公爵的露台上，正是我忽然想要做最后一次人生的尝试的那一会儿，我想看看人们和树木（就算这话是我自己说的），我情绪激动，坚持布尔多夫斯基--“我的亲近的朋友”有权利，我还幻想着他们大家会突然张开手臂，把我拥在怀里，请求我的宽恕，而我也请求他们的宽恕；总之，结果我成了个无能的傻瓜。就是在这个候我心里冒出了“最后的信念”。现在我感到很惊奇，没有这个“信念”时那整整六个月我是怎么过来的：我完全知道，我有肺病，而且已经治不好了；我不欺骗自己，清楚地明白真实情况。但是我越是清楚地了解实情，就越是拼命想活；我紧紧抓住生命，无论如何也想活下去，我承认，我当时也曾怨恨黑暗渺茫，冷寞无情的命运要把我像一只苍蝇一般压死，当然我不知道为什么；但是为什么我不就怀着怨恨而结束生命？为什么明明知道我已经不能开始生活，还真的开始了生活？为什么明明知道我已经没什么可尝试了，却还要尝试？其实我连一本书也不能看完，因此就不再看到了；看书干什么？还有六个月，知道了知识有什么用？这个念头迫使我不止一次撇下书本。 是的，这垛梅那罗夫墙可以说明许多情况！我在这上面记下了许多事情，在这垛肮脏的墙壁上没有一个斑点我会不熟悉。真是一垛可沮咒的墙！但对我来说它依然比所有帕夫洛夫斯克的树木都更宝贵，也就是说，如果我现在不是什么都无所谓的话，它应该比所有的人更宝贵。 我现在想起来，当时我是带着多么贪婪的兴趣注视看他们的生活；这样的兴趣过去是未曾有过的。在我病得不能走出房间的时候，有时候会迫不及待地骂着人等科利亚来，我深切地关注所有的小事，对各种各样的传闻满怀着兴趣，好像成了个搬弄是非的人，比如说，我不明白，这些人有着如此旺盛的生命力，怎么不会成为富翁（不过，就是现在也不明白）。我认识一个穷人，后来人家告诉我，他饿死了，我现在还记得，这使我怒不可遏：假如可以使这个穷人复活，我大概会处死他的。有时候有好几个星期我觉得轻松些，我能走到衙上去；但是街道最终又使我产生憎恶，因此整天整天故意闭门果在家里，虽燃我能像大家一样走到外面去。我无法容忍我身旁在人行道上走着的人，他们窜来钻去，忙忙碌碌，永远忧心忡忡，愁眉苦脸，惶惶不安。干什么他们永远悲伤，永远忧虑，永远忙碌；干什么他们永远抑郁寡欢，充满恼恨（因为他们凶狠、凶狠、凶狠）？虽然他们有６０年的生命，他们却不幸和不会生活，这是谁之罪？为什么扎尔尼岑还有６０年生命，却要让自己饿死？每个人都指着自己的破衣服，伸出自己做工的手，恶狠狠地高喊着；“我们像牛马一般不辞劳苦地干活，我们劳动，我们却像狗一样忍饥挨饿，受苦受穷：别人既不干活也不劳动，他们却生活富裕”（永恒的老调！）在他们旁过从早到晚奔走忙碌的还有一个“出身贵族”的不幸的可怜虫伊万·福米奇·苏科夫。他就住我们那幢房子里，住我们楼上。他永远穿着肘部磨破、掉了钮扣的衣服，他为各种各样的人跑腿当差，听命于人家的差遣委派，而且是从早到晚。您要是跟他聊天，他便会说：“贫穷、困苦、一贫如洗，妻子死了，没有钱买药，冬天冻死了一个孩子；大女儿让人养了当姘妇……”他永远诉苦，永远哭泣！哦，我对这些傻瓜无论现在还是过去都没丝毫怜悯，没有丝毫，--我可以骄傲地这么说：为什么他自己不是罗特希尔德？他不像罗特希尔招那样有百万家财，没有堆积如山的帝俄金币和拿破仑金币，没有像谢肉节货摊上堆起的吃食那样堆积如山、堆得像座高山的金币，是谁之罪呢？既然他活着，这就是说，一切都在他的掌握之中，他不懂这一点，又怪谁呢？ 哦，我现在已经无所谓了，现在我已经没有时间来发火了，但当时，我再说一遍，当时我却因为气得发狂确实在夜间咬我的枕头，撕我的被子，哦，当时我多么想，多么愿意，多么故意希望有人把我，一个１８岁的青年，几乎衣不蔽体地突然赶到街上，并且撇下我孤零零一个人，没有住所，没有工作，没有一片面包，在这么大一个城无亲无故，饥肠辊辆，又挨了一顿打（这样更好！），但是身体健康，这种情况下我要显示…… 显示什么？ 哦，难道你们以为我不知道，就我这篇《解释》已经够伤害自己的自尊心了！嘿，现在谁不把我当作一个不懂生活的可怜虫，忘了自己已不是１８岁，忘了像我这六个月这样生活等于已经是活到白头了！但是让人家去笑话，去说这一切是童话吧。我真的是在给自己讲重话。我用它们来填满我那些通彻不眠的漫漫长夜；我现在还全都记得起来。 但是，难道现在我又来讲这些故事？现在对我来说也已经过了讲童姑故事的时期。再说讲给谁听呢？要知道当时我是用这些故事来自寻安慰的，那时我清楚地看到，连希腊语语法都禁止我学，恰好我也忽然想到：“还没等学到句法，我就会死了”，我从学第一页起就这么想，于是就把书本仍到桌于底下去了。它现在还被弃置在那儿