《马丁·伊登》——   Martin Eden  中英对照版【完结】_派派后花园

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[Novel] 《马丁·伊登》——   Martin Eden  中英对照版【完结】

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《马丁·伊登》——   Martin Eden  中英对照版【完结】
[align=center][table=500,#36648B,#36648B,1][tr][td][align=left][font=宋体][size=3][b][color=#ffffff]。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。[/color][/b][/size][/font][/align][/td][/tr][/table][/align][align=center][table=450,#ffffff,#ffffff,1][tr][td]
[font=宋体][size=4][b][align=left][color=#ff6600] 马丁·伊登 [/color][/align][/b][/size][/font]
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《马丁·伊登》是杰克·伦敦的代表作,是世界文学史上最著名的自传体小说之一。青年水手马丁·伊登偶然结识了上流社会的罗丝小姐,受她的启发,发愤自学,并开始了艰苦的创作生涯。尽管处处碰壁,他仍不愿听从罗丝的安排,进她父亲的事务所,做个“有为青年”。后来他突然时来运转,以前被退回的稿件纷纷得到发表,成为当红作家。以前看不起他的亲友都争先恐后地来请他吃饭,连已和他决裂的罗丝也主动前来投怀送抱。这使他看清了这个世态炎凉的社会,对爱情所抱的美妙幻想也彻底破灭……
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[/td][/tr][/table][/align][align=center][table=500,#36648B,#36648B,1][tr][td][align=right][font=宋体][size=3][b][color=#ffffff]。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。[/color][/b][/size][/font][/align][/td][/tr][/table][/align]
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  46


"Say, Joe," was his greeting to his old-time working-mate next morning, "there's a Frenchman out on Twenty-eighth Street. He's made a pot of money, and he's going back to France. It's a dandy, well-appointed, small steam laundry. There's a start for you if you want to settle down. Here, take this; buy some clothes with it and be at this man's office by ten o'clock. He looked up the laundry for me, and he'll take you out and show you around. If you like it, and think it is worth the price - twelve thousand - let me know and it is yours. Now run along. I'm busy. I'll see you later."




"Now look here, Mart," the other said slowly, with kindling anger, "I come here this mornin' to see you. Savve? I didn't come here to get no laundry. I come a here for a talk for old friends' sake, and you shove a laundry at me. I tell you, what you can do. You can take that laundry an' go to hell."




He was out of the room when Martin caught him and whirled him around.




"Now look here, Joe," he said; "if you act that way, I'll punch your head. An for old friends' sake I'll punch it hard. Savve? - you will, will you?"




Joe had clinched and attempted to throw him, and he was twisting and writhing out of the advantage of the other's hold. They reeled about the room, locked in each other's arms, and came down with a crash across the splintered wreckage of a wicker chair. Joe was underneath, with arms spread out and held and with Martin's knee on his chest. He was panting and gasping for breath when Martin released him.




"Now we'll talk a moment," Martin said. "You can't get fresh with me. I want that laundry business finished first of all. Then you can come back and we'll talk for old sake's sake. I told you I was busy. Look at that."




A servant had just come in with the morning mail, a great mass of letters and magazines.




"How can I wade through that and talk with you? You go and fix up that laundry, and then we'll get together."




"All right," Joe admitted reluctantly. "I thought you was turnin' me down, but I guess I was mistaken. But you can't lick me, Mart, in a stand-up fight. I've got the reach on you."




"We'll put on the gloves sometime and see," Martin said with a smile.




"Sure; as soon as I get that laundry going." Joe extended his arm. "You see that reach? It'll make you go a few."




Martin heaved a sigh of relief when the door closed behind the laundryman. He was becoming anti-social. Daily he found it a severer strain to be decent with people. Their presence perturbed him, and the effort of conversation irritated him. They made him restless, and no sooner was he in contact with them than he was casting about for excuses to get rid of them.




He did not proceed to attack his mail, and for a half hour he lolled in his chair, doing nothing, while no more than vague, half- formed thoughts occasionally filtered through his intelligence, or rather, at wide intervals, themselves constituted the flickering of his intelligence.




He roused himself and began glancing through his mail. There were a dozen requests for autographs - he knew them at sight; there were professional begging letters; and there were letters from cranks, ranging from the man with a working model of perpetual motion, and the man who demonstrated that the surface of the earth was the inside of a hollow sphere, to the man seeking financial aid to purchase the Peninsula of Lower California for the purpose of communist colonization. There were letters from women seeking to know him, and over one such he smiled, for enclosed was her receipt for pew-rent, sent as evidence of her good faith and as proof of her respectability.




Editors and publishers contributed to the daily heap of letters, the former on their knees for his manuscripts, the latter on their knees for his books - his poor disdained manuscripts that had kept all he possessed in pawn for so many dreary months in order to find them in postage. There were unexpected checks for English serial rights and for advance payments on foreign translations. His English agent announced the sale of German translation rights in three of his books, and informed him that Swedish editions, from which he could expect nothing because Sweden was not a party to the Berne Convention, were already on the market. Then there was a nominal request for his permission for a Russian translation, that country being likewise outside the Berne Convention.




He turned to the huge bundle of clippings which had come in from his press bureau, and read about himself and his vogue, which had become a furore. All his creative output had been flung to the public in one magnificent sweep. That seemed to account for it. He had taken the public off its feet, the way Kipling had, that time when he lay near to death and all the mob, animated by a mob- mind thought, began suddenly to read him. Martin remembered how that same world-mob, having read him and acclaimed him and not understood him in the least, had, abruptly, a few months later, flung itself upon him and torn him to pieces. Martin grinned at the thought. Who was he that he should not be similarly treated in a few more months? Well, he would fool the mob. He would be away, in the South Seas, building his grass house, trading for pearls and copra, jumping reefs in frail outriggers, catching sharks and bonitas, hunting wild goats among the cliffs of the valley that lay next to the valley of Taiohae.




In the moment of that thought the desperateness of his situation dawned upon him. He saw, cleared eyed, that he was in the Valley of the Shadow. All the life that was in him was fading, fainting, making toward death.




He realized how much he slept, and how much he desired to sleep. Of old, he had hated sleep. It had robbed him of precious moments of living. Four hours of sleep in the twenty-four had meant being robbed of four hours of life. How he had grudged sleep! Now it was life he grudged. Life was not good; its taste in his mouth was without tang, and bitter. This was his peril. Life that did not yearn toward life was in fair way toward ceasing. Some remote instinct for preservation stirred in him, and he knew he must get away. He glanced about the room, and the thought of packing was burdensome. Perhaps it would be better to leave that to the last. In the meantime he might be getting an outfit.




He put on his hat and went out, stopping in at a gun-store, where he spent the remainder of the morning buying automatic rifles, ammunition, and fishing tackle. Fashions changed in trading, and he knew he would have to wait till he reached Tahiti before ordering his trade-goods. They could come up from Australia, anyway. This solution was a source of pleasure. He had avoided doing something, and the doing of anything just now was unpleasant. He went back to the hotel gladly, with a feeling of satisfaction in that the comfortable Morris chair was waiting for him; and he groaned inwardly, on entering his room, at sight of Joe in the Morris chair.




Joe was delighted with the laundry. Everything was settled, and he would enter into possession next day. Martin lay on the bed, with closed eyes, while the other talked on. Martin's thoughts were far away - so far away that he was rarely aware that he was thinking. It was only by an effort that he occasionally responded. And yet this was Joe, whom he had always liked. But Joe was too keen with life. The boisterous impact of it on Martin's jaded mind was a hurt. It was an aching probe to his tired sensitiveness. When Joe reminded him that sometime in the future they were going to put on the gloves together, he could almost have screamed.




"Remember, Joe, you're to run the laundry according to those old rules you used to lay down at Shelly Hot Springs," he said. "No overworking. No working at night. And no children at the mangles. No children anywhere. And a fair wage."




Joe nodded and pulled out a note-book.




"Look at here. I was workin' out them rules before breakfast this A.M. What d'ye think of them?"




He read them aloud, and Martin approved, worrying at the same time as to when Joe would take himself off.




It was late afternoon when he awoke. Slowly the fact of life came back to him. He glanced about the room. Joe had evidently stolen away after he had dozed off. That was considerate of Joe, he thought. Then he closed his eyes and slept again.




In the days that followed Joe was too busy organizing and taking hold of the laundry to bother him much; and it was not until the day before sailing that the newspapers made the announcement that he had taken passage on the Mariposa. Once, when the instinct of preservation fluttered, he went to a doctor and underwent a searching physical examination. Nothing could be found the matter with him. His heart and lungs were pronounced magnificent. Every organ, so far as the doctor could know, was normal and was working normally.




"There is nothing the matter with you, Mr. Eden," he said, "positively nothing the matter with you. You are in the pink of condition. Candidly, I envy you your health. It is superb. Look at that chest. There, and in your stomach, lies the secret of your remarkable constitution. Physically, you are a man in a thousand - in ten thousand. Barring accidents, you should live to be a hundred."




And Martin knew that Lizzie's diagnosis had been correct. Physically he was all right. It was his "think-machine" that had gone wrong, and there was no cure for that except to get away to the South Seas. The trouble was that now, on the verge of departure, he had no desire to go. The South Seas charmed him no more than did bourgeois civilization. There was no zest in the thought of departure, while the act of departure appalled him as a weariness of the flesh. He would have felt better if he were already on board and gone.




The last day was a sore trial. Having read of his sailing in the morning papers, Bernard Higginbotham, Gertrude, and all the family came to say good-by, as did Hermann von Schmidt and Marian. Then there was business to be transacted, bills to be paid, and everlasting reporters to be endured. He said good-by to Lizzie Connolly, abruptly, at the entrance to night school, and hurried away. At the hotel he found Joe, too busy all day with the laundry to have come to him earlier. It was the last straw, but Martin gripped the arms of his chair and talked and listened for half an hour.




"You know, Joe," he said, "that you are not tied down to that laundry. There are no strings on it. You can sell it any time and blow the money. Any time you get sick of it and want to hit the road, just pull out. Do what will make you the happiest."




Joe shook his head.




"No more road in mine, thank you kindly. Hoboin's all right, exceptin' for one thing - the girls. I can't help it, but I'm a ladies' man. I can't get along without 'em, and you've got to get along without 'em when you're hoboin'. The times I've passed by houses where dances an' parties was goin' on, an' heard the women laugh, an' saw their white dresses and smiling faces through the windows - Gee! I tell you them moments was plain hell. I like dancin' an' picnics, an' walking in the moonlight, an' all the rest too well. Me for the laundry, and a good front, with big iron dollars clinkin' in my jeans. I seen a girl already, just yesterday, and, d'ye know, I'm feelin' already I'd just as soon marry her as not. I've ben whistlin' all day at the thought of it. She's a beaut, with the kindest eyes and softest voice you ever heard. Me for her, you can stack on that. Say, why don't you get married with all this money to burn? You could get the finest girl in the land."




Martin shook his head with a smile, but in his secret heart he was wondering why any man wanted to marry. It seemed an amazing and incomprehensible thing.




From the deck of the Mariposa, at the sailing hour, he saw Lizzie Connolly hiding in the skirts of the crowd on the wharf. Take her with you, came the thought. It is easy to be kind. She will be supremely happy. It was almost a temptation one moment, and the succeeding moment it became a terror. He was in a panic at the thought of it. His tired soul cried out in protest. He turned away from the rail with a groan, muttering, "Man, you are too sick, you are too sick."




He fled to his stateroom, where he lurked until the steamer was clear of the dock. In the dining saloon, at luncheon, he found himself in the place of honor, at the captain's right; and he was not long in discovering that he was the great man on board. But no more unsatisfactory great man ever sailed on a ship. He spent the afternoon in a deck-chair, with closed eyes, dozing brokenly most of the time, and in the evening went early to bed.




After the second day, recovered from seasickness, the full passenger list was in evidence, and the more he saw of the passengers the more he disliked them. Yet he knew that he did them injustice. They were good and kindly people, he forced himself to acknowledge, and in the moment of acknowledgment he qualified - good and kindly like all the bourgeoisie, with all the psychological cramp and intellectual futility of their kind, they bored him when they talked with him, their little superficial minds were so filled with emptiness; while the boisterous high spirits and the excessive energy of the younger people shocked him. They were never quiet, ceaselessly playing deck-quoits, tossing rings, promenading, or rushing to the rail with loud cries to watch the leaping porpoises and the first schools of flying fish.




He slept much. After breakfast he sought his deck-chair with a magazine he never finished. The printed pages tired him. He puzzled that men found so much to write about, and, puzzling, dozed in his chair. When the gong awoke him for luncheon, he was irritated that he must awaken. There was no satisfaction in being awake.




Once, he tried to arouse himself from his lethargy, and went forward into the forecastle with the sailors. But the breed of sailors seemed to have changed since the days he had lived in the forecastle. He could find no kinship with these stolid-faced, ox- minded bestial creatures. He was in despair. Up above nobody had wanted Martin Eden for his own sake, and he could not go back to those of his own class who had wanted him in the past. He did not want them. He could not stand them any more than he could stand the stupid first-cabin passengers and the riotous young people.




Life was to him like strong, white light that hurts the tired eyes of a sick person. During every conscious moment life blazed in a raw glare around him and upon him. It hurt. It hurt intolerably. It was the first time in his life that Martin had travelled first class. On ships at sea he had always been in the forecastle, the steerage, or in the black depths of the coal-hold, passing coal. In those days, climbing up the iron ladders out the pit of stifling heat, he had often caught glimpses of the passengers, in cool white, doing nothing but enjoy themselves, under awnings spread to keep the sun and wind away from them, with subservient stewards taking care of their every want and whim, and it had seemed to him that the realm in which they moved and had their being was nothing else than paradise. Well, here he was, the great man on board, in the midmost centre of it, sitting at the captain's right hand, and yet vainly harking back to forecastle and stoke-hole in quest of the Paradise he had lost. He had found no new one, and now he could not find the old one.




He strove to stir himself and find something to interest him. He ventured the petty officers' mess, and was glad to get away. He talked with a quartermaster off duty, an intelligent man who promptly prodded him with the socialist propaganda and forced into his hands a bunch of leaflets and pamphlets. He listened to the man expounding the slave-morality, and as he listened, he thought languidly of his own Nietzsche philosophy. But what was it worth, after all? He remembered one of Nietzsche's mad utterances wherein that madman had doubted truth. And who was to say? Perhaps Nietzsche had been right. Perhaps there was no truth in anything, no truth in truth - no such thing as truth. But his mind wearied quickly, and he was content to go back to his chair and doze.




Miserable as he was on the steamer, a new misery came upon him. What when the steamer reached Tahiti? He would have to go ashore. He would have to order his trade-goods, to find a passage on a schooner to the Marquesas, to do a thousand and one things that were awful to contemplate. Whenever he steeled himself deliberately to think, he could see the desperate peril in which he stood. In all truth, he was in the Valley of the Shadow, and his danger lay in that he was not afraid. If he were only afraid, he would make toward life. Being unafraid, he was drifting deeper into the shadow. He found no delight in the old familiar things of life. The Mariposa was now in the northeast trades, and this wine of wind, surging against him, irritated him. He had his chair moved to escape the embrace of this lusty comrade of old days and nights.




The day the Mariposa entered the doldrums, Martin was more miserable than ever. He could no longer sleep. He was soaked with sleep, and perforce he must now stay awake and endure the white glare of life. He moved about restlessly. The air was sticky and humid, and the rain-squalls were unrefreshing. He ached with life. He walked around the deck until that hurt too much, then sat in his chair until he was compelled to walk again. He forced himself at last to finish the magazine, and from the steamer library he culled several volumes of poetry. But they could not hold him, and once more he took to walking.




He stayed late on deck, after dinner, but that did not help him, for when he went below, he could not sleep. This surcease from life had failed him. It was too much. He turned on the electric light and tried to read. One of the volumes was a Swinburne. He lay in bed, glancing through its pages, until suddenly he became aware that he was reading with interest. He finished the stanza, attempted to read on, then came back to it. He rested the book face downward on his breast and fell to thinking. That was it. The very thing. Strange that it had never come to him before. That was the meaning of it all; he had been drifting that way all the time, and now Swinburne showed him that it was the happy way out. He wanted rest, and here was rest awaiting him. He glanced at the open port-hole. Yes, it was large enough. For the first time in weeks he felt happy. At last he had discovered the cure of his ill. He picked up the book and read the stanza slowly aloud:-




"'From too much love of living, From hope and fear set free, We thank with brief thanksgiving Whatever gods may be That no life lives forever; That dead men rise up never; That even the weariest river Winds somewhere safe to sea.'"




He looked again at the open port. Swinburne had furnished the key. Life was ill, or, rather, it had become ill - an unbearable thing. "That dead men rise up never!" That line stirred him with a profound feeling of gratitude. It was the one beneficent thing in the universe. When life became an aching weariness, death was ready to soothe away to everlasting sleep. But what was he waiting for? It was time to go.




He arose and thrust his head out the port-hole, looking down into the milky wash. The Mariposa was deeply loaded, and, hanging by his hands, his feet would be in the water. He could slip in noiselessly. No one would hear. A smother of spray dashed up, wetting his face. It tasted salt on his lips, and the taste was good. He wondered if he ought to write a swan-song, but laughed the thought away. There was no time. He was too impatient to be gone.




Turning off the light in his room so that it might not betray him, he went out the port-hole feet first. His shoulders stuck, and he forced himself back so as to try it with one arm down by his side. A roll of the steamer aided him, and he was through, hanging by his hands. When his feet touched the sea, he let go. He was in a milky froth of water. The side of the Mariposa rushed past him like a dark wall, broken here and there by lighted ports. She was certainly making time. Almost before he knew it, he was astern, swimming gently on the foam-crackling surface.




A bonita struck at his white body, and he laughed aloud. It had taken a piece out, and the sting of it reminded him of why he was there. In the work to do he had forgotten the purpose of it. The lights of the Mariposa were growing dim in the distance, and there he was, swimming confidently, as though it were his intention to make for the nearest land a thousand miles or so away.




It was the automatic instinct to live. He ceased swimming, but the moment he felt the water rising above his mouth the hands struck out sharply with a lifting movement. The will to live, was his thought, and the thought was accompanied by a sneer. Well, he had will, - ay, will strong enough that with one last exertion it could destroy itself and cease to be.




He changed his position to a vertical one. He glanced up at the quiet stars, at the same time emptying his lungs of air. With swift, vigorous propulsion of hands and feet, he lifted his shoulders and half his chest out of water. This was to gain impetus for the descent. Then he let himself go and sank without movement, a white statue, into the sea. He breathed in the water deeply, deliberately, after the manner of a man taking an anaesthetic. When he strangled, quite involuntarily his arms and legs clawed the water and drove him up to the surface and into the clear sight of the stars.




The will to live, he thought disdainfully, vainly endeavoring not to breathe the air into his bursting lungs. Well, he would have to try a new way. He filled his lungs with air, filled them full. This supply would take him far down. He turned over and went down head first, swimming with all his strength and all his will. Deeper and deeper he went. His eyes were open, and he watched the ghostly, phosphorescent trails of the darting bonita. As he swam, he hoped that they would not strike at him, for it might snap the tension of his will. But they did not strike, and he found time to be grateful for this last kindness of life.




Down, down, he swam till his arms and leg grew tired and hardly moved. He knew that he was deep. The pressure on his ear-drums was a pain, and there was a buzzing in his head. His endurance was faltering, but he compelled his arms and legs to drive him deeper until his will snapped and the air drove from his lungs in a great explosive rush. The bubbles rubbed and bounded like tiny balloons against his cheeks and eyes as they took their upward flight. Then came pain and strangulation. This hurt was not death, was the thought that oscillated through his reeling consciousness. Death did not hurt. It was life, the pangs of life, this awful, suffocating feeling; it was the last blow life could deal him.




His wilful hands and feet began to beat and churn about, spasmodically and feebly. But he had fooled them and the will to live that made them beat and churn. He was too deep down. They could never bring him to the surface. He seemed floating languidly in a sea of dreamy vision. Colors and radiances surrounded him and bathed him and pervaded him. What was that? It seemed a lighthouse; but it was inside his brain - a flashing, bright white light. It flashed swifter and swifter. There was a long rumble of sound, and it seemed to him that he was falling down a vast and interminable stairway. And somewhere at the bottom he fell into darkness. That much he knew. He had fallen into darkness. And at the instant he knew, he ceased to know.
“我说,乔,”第二天早上他招呼当年一起干活的伙伴说,“二十八号街有一个法国人赚了一大笔钱,打算回法国。他开了一家小蒸汽洗衣店,花里胡哨,设备齐全,你若是想安定下来,可以拿这家铺子开张。这钱你拿去先去买几件衣服,十点钟到这个人的办公室去。洗衣店就是他给我找到的。由他带你去,要你去看一看,你如果中意,觉得价钱合适——一万二千块——就回来告诉我,那店就归你了。现在去吧,我很忙。你呆会儿再来,我们再见面。”

“听着,马,”那人慢吞吞地发起火来,缓缓说道,“我今天早上是来看你的,懂吗?不是来要什么洗衣店的。我是来和老朋友聊天的,可你却要塞给我一家洗衣店。我来告诉你怎么办。你还是带了你那洗衣店到地狱去吧。”

他正要冲出屋子,马丁一把揪住他的肩头,揪得他转过身来。

“听着,乔,你要是那样做,我就揍你脑袋,看在你是老朋友面上,揍得更狠。明白么?愿挨揍吗?愿吗?”

可乔已经揪住他,打算把他摔倒在地,但马丁却控制了他。他扭来扭去,想摆脱马丁的优势。两人彼此抱住,在屋里摇晃了一阵,便摔倒在一把已破的藤椅上。乔压在下面,双手被抓住了,直伸着,马丁的膝盖顶在他胸口上。他已经气喘吁吁,马丁放掉了他。

“现在咱们来谈一谈,”马丁说,“你别跟我耍横,我要你先办完洗衣店的事再回来,咱俩那时再为了老交情谈谈老交情。我早告诉过你,我很忙。”

一个仆役刚送来了早班邮件,一大抱信件和杂志。

“我怎么能又跟你谈话又看这些东西呢?你先去把洗衣店的事办了,然后咱俩再见面。”

“好吧,”乔勉强同意了,“我认为你刚才是在回绝我呢,看来我是误会了。可你是打不过我的,马,硬碰硬地打,我的拳头可比你打得远。”

“哪天咱们戴上手套再较量吧,”马丁笑了笑,说。

“肯定,我把洗衣店办起来再说,”乔伸直了手臂,“你看见我能打多远吗?能打得你倒退几步呢。”

大门在洗衣工背后关上之后,马丁叹了一声,松了口气。他已经变得落落寡合了,他一天天发现自己更难跟人和谐相处。别人的存在令他心烦,硬要跟人说话也叫他生气、烦躁。一跟别人来往他就要设法找借口摆脱。

他并不立即开始拆看邮件,只坐在椅子上打吨,什么都没干地过了半小时。只有一些零碎的模糊念头偶然渗透到他的思想里,更确切地说,他的思想只极偶然地闪出一两星火花。

他振作精神看起邮件来。其中有十二封是要他签名的——这类信他一眼就能看出来;还有职业性的求助信,还有一些怪人的信。一个人寄来了可用的永动机模型;一个人证明世界的表面是一个圆球的内壁;一个人打算买下下加利福尼亚半岛组织共产主义侨居地,来请求财政援助。什么人都有。还有些是妇女,想认识他,其中有一封使他笑了,因为附有一张教堂座位的租金收据,证明她虔诚的信念和正派的作风。

编辑和出版家的信件是每日邮件的主要部分。编辑们跪地乞求他的稿件,出版家们跪地乞求他的书——乞求他那些被人轻贱的可怜的手稿,当初为了筹集它们的邮资,他曾把一切值钱的东西都送进当铺,过了许多凄惨的日子。还有些是意外的支票,是英国连载的稿费,外国译本预付的稿费。他的英国代理人通知他,有三本书的德文翻译权已经卖出;又通知他他的作品已有瑞典译本问市,只是得不到稿酬,因为瑞典没有参加伯尔尼版权公约。还有一份名义上申请批准俄文译本的信,那个国家也同样没有参加伯尔尼公约。

他又转向一大捆由各编辑部寄来的剪报。他读到有关自己和围绕自己所形成的风尚的消息。那风尚已成了狂热。他全部的作品已经五彩缤纷地席卷了读者,狂热似乎便由此形成。读者已被他颌倒了。他严然成了当年的吉卜林。那时吉卜林卧病在床,奄奄一息,他的作品却由于群氓心态的作用,在群氓中突然风行起来。马丁想起世界上那同样的群氓曾如何大读吉卜林的作品,向他欢呼,却丝毫不理解他,然后又在几个月之内突然何他扑去,把他撕扯成了碎片。想起了这事马丁不禁苦笑。他算老几?他能保证在几个月之后不受到同样的待遇么?好了,他得骗骗群氓诸公。他要到南海去,去修建他的草墙房屋,去做珍珠和椰子干生意,会驾驶带平衡翼的独木船在礁石间出没,捕捉鲨鱼和鲤鱼;到泰欧黑山谷附近的峭壁上去打野苹。

想起吉卜林他明白了自己目前处境的发发可危。他清楚地看到自己此刻正在死荫的幽谷之中。他身上的全部活力正在消退、衰败、趋于死亡。他意识到了自己睡眠太多,却还非常想睡。以前他恨睡眠,恨它剥夺了他生活的宝贵时间。他在二十四小时里只睡四小时还嫌四小时生活时间被剥夺。他曾经多么不愿意睡觉!可现在他所不愿意的却是活着。活着并不美妙;在他嘴里生活已没有了甜蜜,只有苦味。他的危机正在这里。没有生活欲望的生活距离长眠已经不远。某种辽远的求生的本能还在他心里搏动,他明白他必须走掉。他望了望屋子,一想起收拾行李他就心烦。也许还是留到最后再收拾为好。现在他可以去采购旅行用品。

他戴上帽子走了出去,在一家熗械店停了下来,上午剩下的时间就用在那里买自动步熗、弹药和渔具了。做买卖的方式变了,他知道只能在到达塔希提岛以后再订购需要的东西。那些东西至少是可以从澳大利亚买到的。这种解决办法也使他快乐,因为可以让他避免做事,目前叫他做任何事他都心烦。他高高兴兴回到旅馆,想到那舒适的莫里斯安乐椅在那儿等着他,便心满意足。可一进门他却看见乔坐在莫里斯安乐椅上等着他,心里不禁呻吟起来。

洗衣店叫乔高兴。一切都解决了,明天他就接手。马丁闭着眼躺在床上心不在焉地听他讲着,他太心不在焉,几乎觉得自己没有什么思想,连偶然回答一两句也觉得吃力。这人是他一向喜欢的乔,而乔正热中着生活。他那絮絮叨叨的谈话伤害着马丁疲惫的心灵,是一根对他的感觉的探针,戳痛了他那倦怠的神经。当乔提醒他他们俩某一天可以戴上手套一起干活时,他几乎尖叫起来。

“记住,乔,要按你当年在雪莉温泉订下的规矩办洗衣店的是你。”他说,“劳动不过度,夜间不干活,碾压机禁用童工,一律禁用童工,工资合理。”

乔点点头,拿出了笔记本。

“你看这儿,今天早饭前我就在订规章制度。你对它们怎么看?”

他大声朗读着,马丁表示同意,同时估计着乔什么时候才会走。

他醒来时已是后半下午。生活的现实慢慢回到他心里。他四面望望,乔显然是在他迷糊过去时悄悄溜走的。他倒很体贴,他思想,又闭上眼睡着了。

以后的几天乔都忙于组织和管理洗衣店,没有来给他添麻烦。他出航的前一天报纸公布了他订了马里泊萨号舱位的消息。在他求生的欲望颤动的时候他曾去找过医生,仔细检查了身体。他全身没有丝毫毛病。心脏和肺部都异常健康。凡医生能检查到的器官都完全正常,功能也完全正常。

“你一切都正常,伊登先生,”他说,“绝对没有问题。身体棒极了。坦率地说,我很羡慕你的健康,那是第一流的。看看你那胸膛,这儿,还有你的胃,这就是你那惊人的体魄的奥秘所在。就身体而言,你是千里挑一,万里挑一的。要是不出意外你准可以活到一百岁。”

马丁知道丽齐的诊断并没有错。他的身体是好的。出了问题的是他的“思想机器”。要不一走了之,到南海去,就无法治好。问题是现在,马上就要出发了,他却没有了到南海去的欲望。南海并不比资产阶级文明更能吸引他。出发的念头并不使他兴奋,而出发的准备所给他的肉体疲劳又使他厌恶。上船出发之后他就会好得多了。

最后一天是一场痛苦的考验。伯纳德·希金波坦、格特露一家人在晨报上读到他要出发的消息,忙来和他告别。赫尔曼·冯·史密特和茉莉安也来了。于是又有了事要办,有了帐要付,有了数不清的记者采访要忍受。他在夜校门口突然跟丽齐·康诺利告了别,便匆匆走掉了。他在旅馆发现了乔,乔成天忙于洗衣店事务,设工夭早来。那是压断了骆驼背脊的最后一根稻草,但马丁仍然抓住椅子扶手,和他交谈了半个小时。

“你知道,乔,”他说,“那洗衣店并不能约束访,你任何时候都可以把它卖掉,然后把钱花掉。洗衣店不是绳子,任何时候你厌倦了都可以一走了之,上路去流浪。什么东西最叫你快活你就干什么。”

乔摇摇头。

“我再也不打算到路上去混了,谢谢你。流浪虽然不错,却有个不好的地方:没有女人,那叫我受不了。我是个喜欢女人的男人,没有女人就不好过。可要流浪就只好过没有女人的日子。我曾经多少次从开晚会、开舞会的屋子门前经过,听见女人笑,从窗子里看见她们的白衣和笑脸——啧啧!告诉你,那时候我简直就在地狱里。我太喜欢跳舞、野餐、在月光里散步这类事了。我喜欢洗衣店,喜欢漂亮,喜欢裤子口袋里装着大洋。我已经看见一个姑娘,就在昨天,你知道不?我简直觉得要么就不付老婆,要么就立刻娶了她。想起这事我就吹日哨,吹了一天了。是个漂亮妞,眼睛最温柔,声音最美妙,你简直就没有见过。你可以打赌,我跟她是最般配不过的。嗨,你的钱多得都烧包了,干吗不讨个老婆?全国最好的姑娘你都可以讨到呢。”

马丁摇摇头,笑了笑,却在心灵深处怀疑:人为什么就非结婚不可?那似乎是一件惊人也难以理解的事。

出航前他站在马里泊萨号的甲板上看见丽齐·康诺利躲在码头上人群的边缘。一个念头闪过:把她带走吧!发善心是容易的,丽齐准会高兴得发狂。这念头一时成了一个诱惑,可随之却使他恐怖了,慌乱了。他那厌倦的灵魂大喊大叫着提出了抗议。他呻吟了一声,转身离开了甲板,喃喃地说道:“你呀,你已经病入膏盲,病人膏盲。”

他逃回了他的豪华舱位,躲在那儿,直到轮船驶出了码头。午饭时他发现自己上了荣誉席,坐到了船长右边。不久,他又发现自己成了船上的大人物。但是坐船的大人物没有比他更令人失望的了。他在一张躺椅上整整躺了一个下午,闭着眼睛,大部分时间都在断断续续地打瞌睡,晚上上床也很早。

过了第二天,晕船的都恢复过来,全船旅客都—一露了面。他越和旅客们来往就越不喜欢他们。可他也明白这对他们是不公平的。他强迫自己承认他们都是些善良和蔼的人。可与此同时他又加上了个限制语——善良和蔼得像所有的资产阶级一样,带着资产阶级的一切心理上的障碍和智力上的无能。他讨厌和他们谈话。充满他们那狭小钱陋的心灵的是巨大的空虚;而年轻人喧哗的欢乐和太旺盛的精力又叫他吃惊。他们从来不会安静,只是没完没了地玩甲板绳圈,掷环,或是喊叫着扑到栏杆边,去看跳跃的海豚和最早出现的飞鱼群。

他睡得很多,一吃完早饭就拿一本杂志去找他的躺椅。那本杂志他永远看不完,印刷品已经令他生厌。他不明白那些人哪儿来的那么多东西可写,想着想着又在躺椅上打起吃来。午餐锣惊醒了他,他感到生气:为什么非惊醒他不可。清醒时没有什么东西能叫他满足。

有一回他努力想把自己从昏沉里唤醒过来,便到水手舱去和水手们见面。但是自从他离开水手舱以后水手们也似乎变了样。他好像跟这些脸膛结实、胸怀笨拙、野兽般的水手亲近不起来。在甲板上没有人因为他自己而需要马丁·伊登,而在这儿他又无法回到自己的阶级伙伴中去,他们过去可是需要他的,现在他却已不需要他们了。容忍这些人并不比容忍一等舱那些愚蠢的旅客和闹翻了天的年轻人容易。

生活于他好像是一道白炽的强光,能伤害病人疲劳的眼睛。在他能意识到时,生活总每时每刻用它炽烈的光照着他周围和他自己,叫他难受,吃不消。马丁是第一次坐头等舱旅行。他以前出海时,总呆在水手舱里,下等舱里,或是在黑沉沉的煤仓里送煤。在那些日子从闷得喘不过气的底层攀着铁梯爬上来时,他常常瞥见一些旅客穿着凉爽的白衣,除了寻欢作乐什么事也不做。他们躲在能遮蔽太阳和风的凉棚下,有着殷勤的侍仆关心他们的一切需要和怪想。那时他觉得他们所活动和生活的场所简直就是地道的天堂。好了,现在他也到了这儿,成了船上的大人物,在它核心的核心里生活,坐在船长的右手,可他回到水手舱和锅炉间去寻找他失去的天堂时,却一无所获。新的天堂他没有找到,旧的天堂也落了空。

他努力让自己活动活动,想找点能引起他兴趣的东西。他试了试跟下级职员会餐,却终于觉得要走掉之后才能快活。他跟一个下了班的舵手闲聊,那是个聪明人,立即向他做起社会主义宣传,把一摞传单和小册子塞进他的手里。他听那人向他解释起奴隶道德,便懒懒地想起了自己的尼采哲学。可归根到底,这一切又能有什么用?他想起了尼采的一段话,表现了那疯子对真理的怀疑。可谁又能说得清楚?也许尼采竟是对的;也许事物之中原本没有真理,就连真理中也没有真理——也许真理压根就并不存在。可他的心灵很快就疲倦了。他又回到他的躺椅,心满意足地打起盹来。

船上的日子已经够痛苦了,可还有一种新的痛苦出现。船到了塔希提岛又怎么办?他还得上岸,还得订购做生意的货品,还得找船去马奎撒司,去干一千零一件想起来就叫他头痛的事。他一勉强自己去思考,就体会到了自己处境的严重危险。他实实在在是在死前之谷里。而他的危险之处却在他的并不害怕。若是害怕,他就会挣扎着求生。可他并不害怕,于是便越来越深地在那阴影走去。他在往日熟悉的事物中找不到欢乐,马里泊萨号已经行驶在东北贸易风带,就连那美酒一样的熏风吹打着他时,他也只觉得烦乱。他把躺椅搬走了,逃避着这个过去与他日夜相伴的精力旺盛的老朋友的拥抱。

马里泊萨号进入赤道无风带那天,马丁比任何时候都痛苦了。他再也睡不着觉。他已经被睡眠浸透了,说不定只好清清醒醒忍受生命的白炽光的照射。他心神不定地散着步,空气形糊糊的,湿漉漉的,就连小风暴也没有让他清醒。生命只使他痛苦。他在甲板上走来走去,走得生疼,然后又坐到椅子上,坐到不得不起来散步。最后他强迫自己去读完了那本杂志,又从船上图书馆里找到几本诗集。可它们依然引不起他的兴趣,他又只好散步。

晚饭后他在甲板上停留了很久,可那对他也没有帮助,下楼去仍然睡不着。这种生命的停顿叫他受不了,太难过了。他扭亮电灯,试着读书。有一本是史文朋。他躺在床上一页页翻着,忽然发现读起了兴趣。他读完了那一小节,打算读下去,回头再读了读。他把书反扣在胸膛上,陷入了沉思。说得对,正是这样。奇怪,他以前怎么没有想到?那正是他的意思。他一直就像那样飘忽不定,现在史文朋却把出路告诉了他。他需要的是休息,而休息却在这儿等着他。他瞥了一眼舷窗口。不错,那洞够大的。多少个礼拜以来他第一次感到了高兴。他终于找到了治病的办法。他拿起书缓缓地朗诵起来:——“‘解除了希望,解除了恐俱,摆脱了对生命过分的爱,我们要对无论什么神抵简短地表示我们的爱戴,因为他没有给生命永恒;因为死者绝对不会复生;因为就连河流疲惫地奔腾蜿蜒到了某处,也安全入海。’”

他再看了看打开的舷窗。史文朋已经提供了钥匙。生命邪恶,或者说变邪恶了,成了无法忍受的东西。“死者绝对不会复生!”诗句打动了他,令他深为感激。死亡是宇宙之间唯一慈祥的东西。在生命令人痛苦和厌倦时,死亡随时能以永恒的睡眠来解除痛苦。那他还等待什么?已经是走掉的时候了。

他站了起来,把头伸出了舷窗口,俯看着奶汁样的翻滚的波浪。马里泊萨号负载沉重,他只需两手攀着舷窗双脚便可以点到水。他可以无声无息地落进海里,不叫人听见。一阵水花扑来,溅湿了他的脸。水是咸的,味道不错。他考虑着是否应该写一首绝命诗,可他笑了笑,把那念头放弃了。没有时间了,他太急于走掉。

他关掉了屋里的灯,以免引人注意。他先把双脚伸出舷窗口,肩头却卡住了。他挤了回来,把一只手贴着身子,再往外挤。轮船略微一转,给了他助力,他挤出了身子,用双手吊着。双脚一沾水,他便放了手,落入了泡沫翻滚的奶汁样的海水里。马里伯萨号的船体从他身边疾驰而去,像一堵漆黑的高墙,只有灯光偶尔从舷窗射出。那船显然是在抢时间行驶。他几乎还没明白过来已经落到了船尾,在水泡迸裂的水面上缓缓地游着。

一条红鱼啄了一下他白色的身子,他不禁哈哈一笑。一片肉被咬掉了,那刺痛让他想起了自己下水的原因。他一味忙着行动,竟连目的都忘了。马里泊萨号的灯光在远处渐渐模糊,他却留在了这里。他自信地游着,仿佛是打算往最近也在千里以外的陆地游去。

那是求生的自动本能。他停止了游泳,但一感到水淹没了嘴,他便猛然挥出了手,让身子露出了水面。他明白这是求生的意志,同时冷笑起来。哼,意志力他还是有的——他的意志力还够坚强,只需再作一番最后的努力就可以连意志力也摧毁,不再存在了。

他改变姿势;垂直了身子,抬头看了看宁静的星星,呼出了肺里的空气。他激烈地迅速地划动手脚,把肩头和半个胸膛露出了水面,这是为了聚集下沉的冲力。然后他便静止下来,一动不动,像座白色的雕像一样往海底沉下去。他在水里故意像吸麻醉剂一样深深地呼吸着。可到他憋不过气时,他的手脚却不自觉地大划起水来,把自己划到了水面上,清清楚楚看见了星星。

求生的本能,他轻蔑地想道。他打算拒绝把空气吸进他快要爆炸的胸膛,却失败了。不行,他得试一个新的办法。他把气吸进了胸膛,吸得满满的,这口气可以让他深深地潜入水里。然后身子一栽,脑袋朝下往下钻去。他竭尽全部的体力和意志力往下钻,越钻越深了。他睁开的眼睛望着幽灵一样的鲣鱼曳着条条荧光在他身边倏忽往来。他划着水,希望鲣鱼不来咬他,怕因此破坏了他的意志力。鲣鱼群倒真没有来咬。他竟然找出时间对生命的这最后的仁慈表示感谢。

他狠命往下划,往下划,划得手脚疲软,几乎划不动了。他明白自己已经到了极深的地方。耳膜上的压力使他疼痛,头也嗡嗡地响了起来。他快要忍耐不住了,却仍然强迫双手和双腿往深处划,直到他的意志力断裂,空气从肺里猛烈地爆裂出来。水泡像小小的气球一样升起,跳跃着,擦着他的面额和眼睛。然后是痛苦和窒息。这种痛苦还不是死亡,这想法从他逐渐衰微的意识里摇曳了出来。死亡是没有痛苦的。这是生命,这种可怕的窒息是生命的痛楚,是生命所能给他的最后打击。

他顽强的手和脚开始痉挛地微弱地挣扎和划动。但是他的手脚和使手脚挣扎和划动的求生的欲望却已经上了他的当。他钻得太深,手脚再也无法把他送出水面了。他像在朦胧的幻觉的海洋里懒懒地漂浮着。斑斓的色彩和光芒包围了他,沐浴着他,浸透了他。那是什么?似乎是一座灯塔;可那灯塔在他脑子里——一片闪烁的炽烈的白光。白光的闪动越来越快,一阵滚滚的巨声殷殷响起,他觉得自己好像正在一座巨大的无底的楼梯里往下落,在快到楼梯底时坠入了黑暗。他的意识从此结束,他已落进了黑暗里。在他意识到这一点时他已什么都不知道了。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

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等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  45


Kreis came to Martin one day - Kreis, of the "real dirt"; and Martin turned to him with relief, to receive the glowing details of a scheme sufficiently wild-catty to interest him as a fictionist rather than an investor. Kreis paused long enough in the midst of his exposition to tell him that in most of his "Shame of the Sun" he had been a chump.




"But I didn't come here to spout philosophy," Kreis went on. "What I want to know is whether or not you will put a thousand dollars in on this deal?"




"No, I'm not chump enough for that, at any rate," Martin answered. "But I'll tell you what I will do. You gave me the greatest night of my life. You gave me what money cannot buy. Now I've got money, and it means nothing to me. I'd like to turn over to you a thousand dollars of what I don't value for what you gave me that night and which was beyond price. You need the money. I've got more than I need. You want it. You came for it. There's no use scheming it out of me. Take it."




Kreis betrayed no surprise. He folded the check away in his pocket.




"At that rate I'd like the contract of providing you with many such nights," he said.




"Too late." Martin shook his head. "That night was the one night for me. I was in paradise. It's commonplace with you, I know. But it wasn't to me. I shall never live at such a pitch again. I'm done with philosophy. I want never to hear another word of it."




"The first dollar I ever made in my life out of my philosophy," Kreis remarked, as he paused in the doorway. "And then the market broke."




Mrs. Morse drove by Martin on the street one day, and smiled and nodded. He smiled back and lifted his hat. The episode did not affect him. A month before it might have disgusted him, or made him curious and set him to speculating about her state of consciousness at that moment. But now it was not provocative of a second thought. He forgot about it the next moment. He forgot about it as he would have forgotten the Central Bank Building or the City Hall after having walked past them. Yet his mind was preternaturally active. His thoughts went ever around and around in a circle. The centre of that circle was "work performed"; it ate at his brain like a deathless maggot. He awoke to it in the morning. It tormented his dreams at night. Every affair of life around him that penetrated through his senses immediately related itself to "work performed." He drove along the path of relentless logic to the conclusion that he was nobody, nothing. Mart Eden, the hoodlum, and Mart Eden, the sailor, had been real, had been he; but Martin Eden! the famous writer, did not exist. Martin Eden, the famous writer, was a vapor that had arisen in the mob-mind and by the mob-mind had been thrust into the corporeal being of Mart Eden, the hoodlum and sailor. But it couldn't fool him. He was not that sun-myth that the mob was worshipping and sacrificing dinners to. He knew better.




He read the magazines about himself, and pored over portraits of himself published therein until he was unable to associate his identity with those portraits. He was the fellow who had lived and thrilled and loved; who had been easy-going and tolerant of the frailties of life; who had served in the forecastle, wandered in strange lands, and led his gang in the old fighting days. He was the fellow who had been stunned at first by the thousands of books in the free library, and who had afterward learned his way among them and mastered them; he was the fellow who had burned the midnight oil and bedded with a spur and written books himself. But the one thing he was not was that colossal appetite that all the mob was bent upon feeding.




There were things, however, in the magazines that amused him. All the magazines were claiming him. WARREN'S MONTHLY advertised to its subscribers that it was always on the quest after new writers, and that, among others, it had introduced Martin Eden to the reading public. THE WHITE MOUSE claimed him; so did THE NORTHERN REVIEW and MACKINTOSH'S MAGAZINE, until silenced by THE GLOBE, which pointed triumphantly to its files where the mangled "Sea Lyrics" lay buried. YOUTH AND AGE, which had come to life again after having escaped paying its bills, put in a prior claim, which nobody but farmers' children ever read. The TRANSCONTINENTAL made a dignified and convincing statement of how it first discovered Martin Eden, which was warmly disputed by THE HORNET, with the exhibit of "The Peri and the Pearl." The modest claim of Singletree, Darnley & Co. was lost in the din. Besides, that publishing firm did not own a magazine wherewith to make its claim less modest.




The newspapers calculated Martin's royalties. In some way the magnificent offers certain magazines had made him leaked out, and Oakland ministers called upon him in a friendly way, while professional begging letters began to clutter his mail. But worse than all this were the women. His photographs were published broadcast, and special writers exploited his strong, bronzed face, his scars, his heavy shoulders, his clear, quiet eyes, and the slight hollows in his cheeks like an ascetic's. At this last he remembered his wild youth and smiled. Often, among the women he met, he would see now one, now another, looking at him, appraising him, selecting him. He laughed to himself. He remembered Brissenden's warning and laughed again. The women would never destroy him, that much was certain. He had gone past that stage.




Once, walking with Lizzie toward night school, she caught a glance directed toward him by a well-gowned, handsome woman of the bourgeoisie. The glance was a trifle too long, a shade too considerative. Lizzie knew it for what it was, and her body tensed angrily. Martin noticed, noticed the cause of it, told her how used he was becoming to it and that he did not care anyway.




"You ought to care," she answered with blazing eyes. "You're sick. That's what's the matter."




"Never healthier in my life. I weigh five pounds more than I ever did."




"It ain't your body. It's your head. Something's wrong with your think-machine. Even I can see that, an' I ain't nobody."




He walked on beside her, reflecting.




"I'd give anything to see you get over it," she broke out impulsively. "You ought to care when women look at you that way, a man like you. It's not natural. It's all right enough for sissy- boys. But you ain't made that way. So help me, I'd be willing an' glad if the right woman came along an' made you care."




When he left Lizzie at night school, he returned to the Metropole.




Once in his rooms, he dropped into a Morris chair and sat staring straight before him. He did not doze. Nor did he think. His mind was a blank, save for the intervals when unsummoned memory pictures took form and color and radiance just under his eyelids. He saw these pictures, but he was scarcely conscious of them - no more so than if they had been dreams. Yet he was not asleep. Once, he roused himself and glanced at his watch. It was just eight o'clock. He had nothing to do, and it was too early for bed. Then his mind went blank again, and the pictures began to form and vanish under his eyelids. There was nothing distinctive about the pictures. They were always masses of leaves and shrub-like branches shot through with hot sunshine.




A knock at the door aroused him. He was not asleep, and his mind immediately connected the knock with a telegram, or letter, or perhaps one of the servants bringing back clean clothes from the laundry. He was thinking about Joe and wondering where he was, as he said, "Come in."




He was still thinking about Joe, and did not turn toward the door. He heard it close softly. There was a long silence. He forgot that there had been a knock at the door, and was still staring blankly before him when he heard a woman's sob. It was involuntary, spasmodic, checked, and stifled - he noted that as he turned about. The next instant he was on his feet.




"Ruth!" he said, amazed and bewildered.




Her face was white and strained. She stood just inside the door, one hand against it for support, the other pressed to her side. She extended both hands toward him piteously, and started forward to meet him. As he caught her hands and led her to the Morris chair he noticed how cold they were. He drew up another chair and sat down on the broad arm of it. He was too confused to speak. In his own mind his affair with Ruth was closed and sealed. He felt much in the same way that he would have felt had the Shelly Hot Springs Laundry suddenly invaded the Hotel Metropole with a whole week's washing ready for him to pitch into. Several times he was about to speak, and each time he hesitated.




"No one knows I am here," Ruth said in a faint voice, with an appealing smile.




"What did you say?"




He was surprised at the sound of his own voice.




She repeated her words.




"Oh," he said, then wondered what more he could possibly say.




"I saw you come in, and I waited a few minutes."




"Oh," he said again.




He had never been so tongue-tied in his life. Positively he did not have an idea in his head. He felt stupid and awkward, but for the life of him he could think of nothing to say. It would have been easier had the intrusion been the Shelly Hot Springs laundry. He could have rolled up his sleeves and gone to work.




"And then you came in," he said finally.




She nodded, with a slightly arch expression, and loosened the scarf at her throat.




"I saw you first from across the street when you were with that girl."




"Oh, yes," he said simply. "I took her down to night school."




"Well, aren't you glad to see me?" she said at the end of another silence.




"Yes, yes." He spoke hastily. "But wasn't it rash of you to come here?"




"I slipped in. Nobody knows I am here. I wanted to see you. I came to tell you I have been very foolish. I came because I could no longer stay away, because my heart compelled me to come, because - because I wanted to come."




She came forward, out of her chair and over to him. She rested her hand on his shoulder a moment, breathing quickly, and then slipped into his arms. And in his large, easy way, desirous of not inflicting hurt, knowing that to repulse this proffer of herself was to inflict the most grievous hurt a woman could receive, he folded his arms around her and held her close. But there was no warmth in the embrace, no caress in the contact. She had come into his arms, and he held her, that was all. She nestled against him, and then, with a change of position, her hands crept up and rested upon his neck. But his flesh was not fire beneath those hands, and he felt awkward and uncomfortable.




"What makes you tremble so?" he asked. "Is it a chill? Shall I light the grate?"




He made a movement to disengage himself, but she clung more closely to him, shivering violently.




"It is merely nervousness," she said with chattering teeth. "I'll control myself in a minute. There, I am better already."




Slowly her shivering died away. He continued to hold her, but he was no longer puzzled. He knew now for what she had come.




"My mother wanted me to marry Charley Hapgood," she announced.




"Charley Hapgood, that fellow who speaks always in platitudes?" Martin groaned. Then he added, "And now, I suppose, your mother wants you to marry me."




He did not put it in the form of a question. He stated it as a certitude, and before his eyes began to dance the rows of figures of his royalties.




"She will not object, I know that much," Ruth said.




"She considers me quite eligible?"




Ruth nodded.




"And yet I am not a bit more eligible now than I was when she broke our engagement," he meditated. "I haven't changed any. I'm the same Martin Eden, though for that matter I'm a bit worse - I smoke now. Don't you smell my breath?"




In reply she pressed her open fingers against his lips, placed them graciously and playfully, and in expectancy of the kiss that of old had always been a consequence. But there was no caressing answer of Martin's lips. He waited until the fingers were removed and then went on.




"I am not changed. I haven't got a job. I'm not looking for a job. Furthermore, I am not going to look for a job. And I still believe that Herbert Spencer is a great and noble man and that Judge Blount is an unmitigated ass. I had dinner with him the other night, so I ought to know."




"But you didn't accept father's invitation," she chided.




"So you know about that? Who sent him? Your mother?"




She remained silent.




"Then she did send him. I thought so. And now I suppose she has sent you."




"No one knows that I am here," she protested. "Do you think my mother would permit this?"




"She'd permit you to marry me, that's certain."




She gave a sharp cry. "Oh, Martin, don't be cruel. You have not kissed me once. You are as unresponsive as a stone. And think what I have dared to do." She looked about her with a shiver, though half the look was curiosity. "Just think of where I am."




"I COULD DIE FOR YOU! I COULD DIE FOR YOU!" - Lizzie's words were ringing in his ears.




"Why didn't you dare it before?" he asked harshly. "When I hadn't a job? When I was starving? When I was just as I am now, as a man, as an artist, the same Martin Eden? That's the question I've been propounding to myself for many a day - not concerning you merely, but concerning everybody. You see I have not changed, though my sudden apparent appreciation in value compels me constantly to reassure myself on that point. I've got the same flesh on my bones, the same ten fingers and toes. I am the same. I have not developed any new strength nor virtue. My brain is the same old brain. I haven't made even one new generalization on literature or philosophy. I am personally of the same value that I was when nobody wanted me. And what is puzzling me is why they want me now. Surely they don't want me for myself, for myself is the same old self they did not want. Then they must want me for something else, for something that is outside of me, for something that is not I! Shall I tell you what that something is? It is for the recognition I have received. That recognition is not I. It resides in the minds of others. Then again for the money I have earned and am earning. But that money is not I. It resides in banks and in the pockets of Tom, Dick, and Harry. And is it for that, for the recognition and the money, that you now want me?"




"You are breaking my heart," she sobbed. "You know I love you, that I am here because I love you."




"I am afraid you don't see my point," he said gently. "What I mean is: if you love me, how does it happen that you love me now so much more than you did when your love was weak enough to deny me?"




"Forget and forgive," she cried passionately. "I loved you all the time, remember that, and I am here, now, in your arms."




"I'm afraid I am a shrewd merchant, peering into the scales, trying to weigh your love and find out what manner of thing it is."




She withdrew herself from his arms, sat upright, and looked at him long and searchingly. She was about to speak, then faltered and changed her mind.




"You see, it appears this way to me," he went on. "When I was all that I am now, nobody out of my own class seemed to care for me. When my books were all written, no one who had read the manuscripts seemed to care for them. In point of fact, because of the stuff I had written they seemed to care even less for me. In writing the stuff it seemed that I had committed acts that were, to say the least, derogatory. 'Get a job,' everybody said."




She made a movement of dissent.




"Yes, yes," he said; "except in your case you told me to get a position. The homely word JOB, like much that I have written, offends you. It is brutal. But I assure you it was no less brutal to me when everybody I knew recommended it to me as they would recommend right conduct to an immoral creature. But to return. The publication of what I had written, and the public notice I received, wrought a change in the fibre of your love. Martin Eden, with his work all performed, you would not marry. Your love for him was not strong enough to enable you to marry him. But your love is now strong enough, and I cannot avoid the conclusion that its strength arises from the publication and the public notice. In your case I do not mention royalties, though I am certain that they apply to the change wrought in your mother and father. Of course, all this is not flattering to me. But worst of all, it makes me question love, sacred love. Is love so gross a thing that it must feed upon publication and public notice? It would seem so. I have sat and thought upon it till my head went around."




"Poor, dear head." She reached up a hand and passed the fingers soothingly through his hair. "Let it go around no more. Let us begin anew, now. I loved you all the time. I know that I was weak in yielding to my mother's will. I should not have done so. Yet I have heard you speak so often with broad charity of the fallibility and frailty of humankind. Extend that charity to me. I acted mistakenly. Forgive me."




"Oh, I do forgive," he said impatiently. "It is easy to forgive where there is really nothing to forgive. Nothing that you have done requires forgiveness. One acts according to one's lights, and more than that one cannot do. As well might I ask you to forgive me for my not getting a job."




"I meant well," she protested. "You know that I could not have loved you and not meant well."




"True; but you would have destroyed me out of your well-meaning."




"Yes, yes," he shut off her attempted objection. "You would have destroyed my writing and my career. Realism is imperative to my nature, and the bourgeois spirit hates realism. The bourgeoisie is cowardly. It is afraid of life. And all your effort was to make me afraid of life. You would have formalized me. You would have compressed me into a two-by-four pigeonhole of life, where all life's values are unreal, and false, and vulgar." He felt her stir protestingly. "Vulgarity - a hearty vulgarity, I'll admit - is the basis of bourgeois refinement and culture. As I say, you wanted to formalize me, to make me over into one of your own class, with your class-ideals, class-values, and class-prejudices." He shook his head sadly. "And you do not understand, even now, what I am saying. My words do not mean to you what I endeavor to make them mean. What I say is so much fantasy to you. Yet to me it is vital reality. At the best you are a trifle puzzled and amused that this raw boy, crawling up out of the mire of the abyss, should pass judgment upon your class and call it vulgar."




She leaned her head wearily against his shoulder, and her body shivered with recurrent nervousness. He waited for a time for her to speak, and then went on.




"And now you want to renew our love. You want us to be married. You want me. And yet, listen - if my books had not been noticed, I'd nevertheless have been just what I am now. And you would have stayed away. It is all those damned books - "




"Don't swear," she interrupted.




Her reproof startled him. He broke into a harsh laugh.




"That's it," he said, "at a high moment, when what seems your life's happiness is at stake, you are afraid of life in the same old way - afraid of life and a healthy oath."




She was stung by his words into realization of the puerility of her act, and yet she felt that he had magnified it unduly and was consequently resentful. They sat in silence for a long time, she thinking desperately and he pondering upon his love which had departed. He knew, now, that he had not really loved her. It was an idealized Ruth he had loved, an ethereal creature of his own creating, the bright and luminous spirit of his love-poems. The real bourgeois Ruth, with all the bourgeois failings and with the hopeless cramp of the bourgeois psychology in her mind, he had never loved.




She suddenly began to speak.




"I know that much you have said is so. I have been afraid of life. I did not love you well enough. I have learned to love better. I love you for what you are, for what you were, for the ways even by which you have become. I love you for the ways wherein you differ from what you call my class, for your beliefs which I do not understand but which I know I can come to understand. I shall devote myself to understanding them. And even your smoking and your swearing - they are part of you and I will love you for them, too. I can still learn. In the last ten minutes I have learned much. That I have dared to come here is a token of what I have already learned. Oh, Martin! - "




She was sobbing and nestling close against him.




For the first time his arms folded her gently and with sympathy, and she acknowledged it with a happy movement and a brightening face.




"It is too late," he said. He remembered Lizzie's words. "I am a sick man - oh, not my body. It is my soul, my brain. I seem to have lost all values. I care for nothing. If you had been this way a few months ago, it would have been different. It is too late, now."




"It is not too late," she cried. "I will show you. I will prove to you that my love has grown, that it is greater to me than my class and all that is dearest to me. All that is dearest to the bourgeoisie I will flout. I am no longer afraid of life. I will leave my father and mother, and let my name become a by-word with my friends. I will come to you here and now, in free love if you will, and I will be proud and glad to be with you. If I have been a traitor to love, I will now, for love's sake, be a traitor to all that made that earlier treason."




She stood before him, with shining eyes.




"I am waiting, Martin," she whispered, "waiting for you to accept me. Look at me."




It was splendid, he thought, looking at her. She had redeemed herself for all that she had lacked, rising up at last, true woman, superior to the iron rule of bourgeois convention. It was splendid, magnificent, desperate. And yet, what was the matter with him? He was not thrilled nor stirred by what she had done. It was splendid and magnificent only intellectually. In what should have been a moment of fire, he coldly appraised her. His heart was untouched. He was unaware of any desire for her. Again he remembered Lizzie's words.




"I am sick, very sick," he said with a despairing gesture. "How sick I did not know till now. Something has gone out of me. I have always been unafraid of life, but I never dreamed of being sated with life. Life has so filled me that I am empty of any desire for anything. If there were room, I should want you, now. You see how sick I am."




He leaned his head back and closed his eyes; and like a child, crying, that forgets its grief in watching the sunlight percolate through the tear-dimmed films over the pupils, so Martin forgot his sickness, the presence of Ruth, everything, in watching the masses of vegetation, shot through hotly with sunshine that took form and blazed against this background of his eyelids. It was not restful, that green foliage. The sunlight was too raw and glaring. It hurt him to look at it, and yet he looked, he knew not why.




He was brought back to himself by the rattle of the door-knob. Ruth was at the door.




"How shall I get out?" she questioned tearfully. "I am afraid."




"Oh, forgive me," he cried, springing to his feet. "I'm not myself, you know. I forgot you were here." He put his hand to his head. "You see, I'm not just right. I'll take you home. We can go out by the servants' entrance. No one will see us. Pull down that veil and everything will be all right."




She clung to his arm through the dim-lighted passages and down the narrow stairs.




"I am safe now," she said, when they emerged on the sidewalk, at the same time starting to take her hand from his arm.




"No, no, I'll see you home," he answered.




"No, please don't," she objected. "It is unnecessary."




Again she started to remove her hand. He felt a momentary curiosity. Now that she was out of danger she was afraid. She was in almost a panic to be quit of him. He could see no reason for it and attributed it to her nervousness. So he restrained her withdrawing hand and started to walk on with her. Halfway down the block, he saw a man in a long overcoat shrink back into a doorway. He shot a glance in as he passed by, and, despite the high turned- up collar, he was certain that he recognized Ruth's brother, Norman.




During the walk Ruth and Martin held little conversation. She was stunned. He was apathetic. Once, he mentioned that he was going away, back to the South Seas, and, once, she asked him to forgive her having come to him. And that was all. The parting at her door was conventional. They shook hands, said good night, and he lifted his hat. The door swung shut, and he lighted a cigarette and turned back for his hotel. When he came to the doorway into which he had seen Norman shrink, he stopped and looked in in a speculative humor.




"She lied," he said aloud. "She made believe to me that she had dared greatly, and all the while she knew the brother that brought her was waiting to take her back." He burst into laughter. "Oh, these bourgeois! When I was broke, I was not fit to be seen with his sister. When I have a bank account, he brings her to me."




As he swung on his heel to go on, a tramp, going in the same direction, begged him over his shoulder.




"Say, mister, can you give me a quarter to get a bed?" were the words.




But it was the voice that made Martin turn around. The next instant he had Joe by the hand.




"D'ye remember that time we parted at the Hot Springs?" the other was saying. "I said then we'd meet again. I felt it in my bones. An' here we are."




"You're looking good," Martin said admiringly, "and you've put on weight."




"I sure have." Joe's face was beaming. "I never knew what it was to live till I hit hoboin'. I'm thirty pounds heavier an' feel tiptop all the time. Why, I was worked to skin an' bone in them old days. Hoboin' sure agrees with me."




"But you're looking for a bed just the same," Martin chided, "and it's a cold night."




"Huh? Lookin' for a bed?" Joe shot a hand into his hip pocket and brought it out filled with small change. "That beats hard graft," he exulted. "You just looked good; that's why I battered you."




Martin laughed and gave in.




"You've several full-sized drunks right there," he insinuated.




Joe slid the money back into his pocket.




"Not in mine," he announced. "No gettin' oryide for me, though there ain't nothin' to stop me except I don't want to. I've ben drunk once since I seen you last, an' then it was unexpected, bein' on an empty stomach. When I work like a beast, I drink like a beast. When I live like a man, I drink like a man - a jolt now an' again when I feel like it, an' that's all."




Martin arranged to meet him next day, and went on to the hotel. He paused in the office to look up steamer sailings. The Mariposa sailed for Tahiti in five days.




"Telephone over to-morrow and reserve a stateroom for me," he told the clerk. "No deck-stateroom, but down below, on the weather- side, - the port-side, remember that, the port-side. You'd better write it down."




Once in his room he got into bed and slipped off to sleep as gently as a child. The occurrences of the evening had made no impression on him. His mind was dead to impressions. The glow of warmth with which he met Joe had been most fleeting. The succeeding minute he had been bothered by the ex-laundryman's presence and by the compulsion of conversation. That in five more days he sailed for his loved South Seas meant nothing to him. So he closed his eyes and slept normally and comfortably for eight uninterrupted hours. He was not restless. He did not change his position, nor did he dream. Sleep had become to him oblivion, and each day that he awoke, he awoke with regret. Life worried and bored him, and time was a vexation.
有一天克瑞斯来看马丁了,克瑞斯是“真正的贱民”之一。马丁听着他叙述起一个辉煌计划的细节,放下心来。那计划相当想入非非,他怀着小说家的兴趣而不是投资人的兴趣听他讲述。解释到中途,克瑞斯还分出了点时间告诉马丁,他在他那《太阳的耻辱》里简直是块木头。

“可我并不是到这儿来侃哲学的,”克瑞斯说下去,“我想知道你是否肯在这桩买卖上投上一千元资本。”

“不,我无论如何也还没有木头到那种程度,”马丁回答,“不过我要告诉你我的打算。你曾经给了我平生最精彩的一夜,给了我用金钱买不到的东西。现在我有钱了,而钱对于我又毫无意义。我认为你那桩买卖并无价值,但我愿意给你一千元,回报你给我的那个无价之宝的一夜。你需要的是钱,而我的钱又多得花不完;你既然需要钱,又来要钱,就用不着耍什么花熗来骗我了,你拿去吧。”

克瑞斯没有表现丝毫惊讶,折好支票,放进了口袋。

“照这个价钱我倒想订个合同,为你提供许多那样的夜晚,”他说。

“太晚了,”马丁摇摇头,“对于我来说那是唯一的一夜。那天晚上我简直就是在天堂里。我知道那对于你们是家常便饭,可对我却大不相同。我以后再也不会生活在那样的高度了,我跟哲学分手了;关于哲学的话我一个字也不想听了。”

“这可是我平生凭哲学谦到的第一笔钱,”克瑞斯走到门口,站住了,说,“可是市场又垮掉了。”

有一天莫尔斯太太在街上开车路过马丁身边,向他点了点头,微笑了一下;马丁也脱帽,微笑作答。此事对他毫无影响,要是在一个月以前他一定会生气,好奇,而且会揣测她的心理状态;可现在事情一过他便不再想,转瞬便忘,就像路过中央银行大楼或是市政厅便立即忘记一样。可不好理解的是:他的思维仍然活跃,总绕着一个圆圈转来转去;圆圈的中心是“作品早已完成”;那念头像一大堆永不死亡的蛆虫咬啮着他的脑子,早上把他咬醒,晚上咬啮他的梦。周围生活里每一件进入他感官的事物都立即和“作品早已完成”联系了起来。他沿着冷酷无情的逻辑推论下去,结论是他自己已无足轻重,什么也不是。流氓马·伊登和水手马·伊登是真实的,那就是他。可那著名的作家马丁·伊登却是从群氓心理产生的一团迷雾,是由群氓心理硬塞进流氓和水手马·伊登的臭皮囊里去的。那骗不了他,他并不是群纸献牲膜拜的那个太阳神话。他有自知之明。

他测览杂志上有关自己的文章,细读上面发表的关于他的描写,始终觉得无法把那些描绘跟自己对上号。他确实是那个曾经生活过、欢乐过、恋爱过的人;那个随遇而安。宽容生活里的弱点的人;他确实在水手舱当过水手,曾在异国他乡漂泊,曾在打架的日子里带领过自己一帮人;他最初见到免费图书馆书架上那千千万万的藏书时确实曾目瞪口呆;以后又在书城之中钻研出了门道,掌握了书本;他确实曾经点着灯熬夜读书,带着铁刺睡觉,也写过好几本书。但有一桩本领他却没有:他没有所有的群氓都想填塞的那么个硕大无朋的胃。

不过,杂志上有些东西也令他觉得好玩。所有的杂志都在争夺他。《华伦月刊》向他的订户宣传它总在发现新作家;别的且不说,马丁·伊登就是他们向读者大众推荐的。《白鼠》杂志宣称马丁·伊登是他们发现的;发表同样消息的还有《北方评论》和《麦金托什杂志》,可他们却叫《环球》打哑了,《环球》胜利地提出了埋藏在他们的文献中那份被窜改得面目全非的《海上抒情诗》;逃掉了债务又转世还魂的《青年与时代》提出了马丁一篇更早的作品,那东西除了农民的孩子之外再也没有人读。《跨越大陆》发表了一篇振振有辞的庄严声明,说他们是如何物色到马丁·伊登的,《大黄蜂》却展示了他们出版的《仙女与珍珠》,进行了激烈的反驳。在这一片吵嚷声中欣格垂、达思利公司那温和的声明被淹没了,何况欣格垂出版社没有杂志,无法发表更为响亮的声明。

报纸计算着马丁的版税收入。某几家杂志给他的豪华稿酬不知道怎么泄露了出去,于是奥克兰的牧师们便来对他作友谊拜访;职业性的求助信也充斥了他的信箱。而比这一切更糟的则是女人。他的照片广泛发表,于是有了专门的作家拿他那晒黑了的结实的面庞、上面的伤疤、健壮的肩头、沉静清澈的眼光、苦行僧式的凹陷的面颊大做文章。这让他想起了自己少年时代的野性,不禁微笑了。他在自己交往的妇女中不时发现有人打量他,品评他,垂青于他。他暗暗好笑,想起了布里森登的警告,笑得更有趣了。女人是无法毁掉他的,这可以肯定,他早已过了那样的年龄。

有一回他送丽齐去夜校。丽齐看见一位穿着华丽的长袍的资产阶级美女膘了他一眼。那一眼瞟得长了一点,深沉了一点,其意思丽齐最是明白。她愤怒了,身子僵直了,马丁看了出来,也注意到了那意思,便告诉她这种事他早已见惯不惊,并不放在心主。

“你应当注意的,”她回答时满眼怒火,“问题就在,你已经有了毛病。”

“我一辈子也没有更健康过,我的体重比过去增加了五磅呢。”

“不是你身体有病,而是你脑子有病,是你那思想的机器出了毛病。连我这样的小角色也看出来了。”

他走在她身旁想着。

“只要能治好你这病,我什么都不在乎,”她冲动地叫喊起来,“像你这样的人,女人像那样看你,你就得小心。太不自然,你如果是个打打扮扮的男人那倒没什么,可你天生不是那种人。上帝保佑,要是出了一个能叫你喜欢的人,我倒是心甘情愿,而且高兴的。”

他把丽齐留在夜校,一个人回到了大都会旅馆。

一进屋他就倒在一张莫里斯安乐椅里,茫然地望着前面。他没有打盹,也没有想问题,心里一片空白,只偶然有一些回忆镜头带着形象、色彩和闪光从他眼帘下掠过。他感到了那些镜头,却几乎没有意识到——它们并不比梦境更清晰,可他又没有睡着。有一次他醒了过来,看了看表:才八点。他无事可做。要睡觉又嫌太早。他心里又成了空白,眼帘下又有影像形成和消失。那些影像都模糊不清,永远如阳光穿透的层层树叶和灌木丛的乱技。

敲门声惊醒了他。他没有睡着,那声音令他想起了电报、信件或是洗衣房的仆役送来的洗好的衣物。他在想着乔,猜想着他在什么地方,同时嘴里说:“请进。”

他还在想着乔,没有向门口转过身去。他听见门轻轻关上,然后是长久的沉默。他忘记了曾经有过敲门声,仍茫然地望着前面,却听见了女人的哭泣。他对哭声转过身子,注意到那哭声抽搐、压抑。难以控制。不由自主、带着呜咽。他立即站了起来。

“露丝!”他说,又惊讶又惶惑。

露丝脸色苍白,紧张。她站在门口,怕站立不稳,一只手扶住门框,另一只手抚住腰。她向他可怜巴巴地伸出了双手,走了过来。他抓住她的手,领她来到了莫里斯安乐椅前,让她坐下。他注意到她的双手冰凉。他拉过来另一把椅子,坐在它巨大的扶手上。他心里一片混乱,说不出话来。在他的心里他跟露丝的关系早已结束,打上了封蜡。他内心的感觉是:那像是雪莉温泉旅馆突然给大都会旅馆送来了一个礼拜脏衣服要他赶快洗出来一样。他好几次要想说话,却迟疑不决。

“没有人知道我在这儿,”露丝细声说,带着楚楚动人的微笑。

“你说什么?”他问道。

他为自己说话时的声音吃惊。

她又说了一遍。

“啊,”他说,然后便再无话可说。

“我看见你进旅馆来的,然后我又等了一会儿。”

“啊,”他说。

他一辈子也不曾那么结巴过。他脑子里确实一句话也没有,他感到尴尬,狼狈,可仍然想不出话来。这次的闯入如果发生在雪莉温泉旅馆也说不定会好些,他还可以卷起袖子上班去。

“然后你才进来,”他终于说。

她点了点头,略带了些顽皮,然后解开了她脖子上的围巾。

“你在街那边和那个姑娘在一起时我就看见你了。”

“啊,是的,”他简短地说,“我送她上夜校去。”

“那么,你见了我高兴么?”沉默了一会儿,她说。

“高兴,高兴,”他急忙说,“可你到这儿来不是有点冒失么?”

“我是溜进来的,没有人知道。我想见你。我是来向你承认我过去的愚蠢的。我是因为再也受不了和你分手才来的。是我的心强迫我来的。因为——因为我自己想来。”

她从椅边站起,向他走来,把手放到他的肩上。她呼吸急促,过了一会儿便倒进了他的怀里。他不希望伤害别人,他明白若是拒绝了她的自荐,便会给予她一个女人所能受到的最残酷的伤害,便大量地、轻松地伸出胳臂,把她紧紧搂住。但那拥抱没有暖意,那接触没有温情。她倒进了他的怀里,他抱住了她,如此而已。她往他的怀里钻了钻,然后换了一个姿势,双手搂住了他的脖子。然而她手下的肉体没有火焰,马丁只觉得尴尬,吃力。

“你怎么抖得这么厉害?”他问道,“冷么?要我点燃壁炉么?”

他动了一下,想脱开身子,可她却往他身上靠得更紧了,并猛烈地颤抖着。

“只不过有点紧张,”她牙齿答答地响,说,“我一会儿就能控制住自己的。好了,我已经好些了。”

她的颤抖慢慢停止,他继续拥抱着她。此刻他已不再惶惑,也已明白了她的来意。

“我妈妈要我嫁给查理·哈扑古德,”她宣称。

“查理·哈扑古德,那个一说话就满口陈词滥调的家伙么?”马丁抱怨道,接着又说,“那么现在,我看,是你妈妈要你嫁给我了?”他这话不是提出问题,而是当作肯定的事实。他那一行行的版税数字开始在他眼前飞舞。

“她是不会反对的,这一点我知道,”露丝说。

“他觉得我般配么?”

露丝点点头。

“可我现在并不比她解除我们俩婚约的时候更般配,”他沉思着说,“我丝毫也没有改变,我还是当初那个马丁·伊登,尽管无论从哪个角度看来我都更不般配了。我现在又抽烟了。你没有闻到我的烟味么?”

她伸出手指压到他的嘴上,作为回答,动作优美,像撒娇,只等着他来吻她。那在以前是必然的结果。但是马丁的嘴唇并未作出怜爱的响应。等她的手指头移开之后,他继续说了下去。

“我没有变。我没有找工作,而且不打算去找工作。我依旧相信赫伯特·斯宾塞是个了不起的高贵的人;而布朗特法官是个十足的蠢驴。前不久的一个晚上我还跟他一起吃过晚饭,因此我应该明白。”

“但是你没有接受爸爸的邀请,”她责备他。

“那么你是知道的了?是谁打发他来邀请的?你妈妈么?”

她保持沉默。

“那么,确实是你妈妈叫他出面来邀请的喽。找原来就这样想。那么,我现在估计,你也是她打发到这儿来的喽。”

“我到这儿来是谁也不知道的,”她抗议道,“你以为我妈妈会同意我这样做么?”

“可她会同意你嫁给我,这可以肯定。”

她尖声叫了起来:“啊;马丁,别那么残酷。你还一次都没有亲吻我呢。你简直死板得像块石头。你得想想我冒了多大的风险。”她打了一个寒噤,四面望望,尽管有一半的神色还是期待,“你想想看,我现在在什么地方。”

“我可以为你死!为你死!”丽齐的话在马丁的耳边震响。

“可你以前为什么不敢冒风险呢?”他不客气地问道,“因为那时我没有工作么?因为我在挨饿么?那时我也是个男人,也是个艺术家,跟现在的马丁·伊登完全一样。这个问题我研究了多少日子了——倒并不专对你一个人,而是对所有的人。你看,我并没有变,尽管我表面价值的突然变化强迫我经常确认这一点。我的骨架上挂的还是这些肉,我长的还是十个手指头和十个脚趾头。我还是我;我的力气没有新的变化,道德也没有新的发展;我的脑子还是当初那副脑子;在文学上或是在哲学上我一条新的概括也没有作出。我这个人的价值还跟没人要时一个样。叫我百思不得其解的是;他们为什么现在又要我了。他们肯定不是因为我自己而要我的,因为我还是他们原来不想要的那个人。那么他们肯定是因为别的原因要我了,因为某种我以外的东西了,因为某种并不是我的东西了!你要听我告诉你那是什么吗?那是因为我得到了承认。可那承认存在别人心里,并不是我。还有就是因为我已经挣到的钱,和还要挣到的钱。可那钱也不是我。那东西存在银行里,存在甲乙丙丁人人的口袋里。你现在又要我了,是不是也是因为这个呢,是不是也因为我得到的承认和金钱呢?”

“你叫我心都碎了,”她抽泣起来,“你知道我是爱你的,我来,是因为我爱你。”

“我怕是你并没有明白我的意思,”他温和地说,“我的意思是:如果你爱我的话,为什么你现在爱我会比那时深了许多呢?那时你对我的爱是很软弱的,你否定了我。”

“忘掉吧,原谅吧,”她激动地叫道,“我一直爱着你,记住这一点,而我现在又到了这儿,在你的怀抱里。”

“我怕我是个精明的生意人,得要仔细看看秤盘,得要称一称你的爱情,看看它究竟是什么货品呢。”

她从他怀里抽出身子,坐直了,探索地打量了他许久。她欲言又止,终于改变了主意。

“你看,我觉得事情是这样的,”马丁说了下去,“那时我还是现在的我,那时除了我本阶级的人之外似乎谁都瞧不起我。那时我所有的书都已经写成,可读过那些手稿的人似乎谁也不把它们放在心上。事实上他们反倒因此更瞧不起我了。我写了那些东西好像至少是做了什么丢脸的事。每个人都劝我:‘找个活儿干吧。’”

她做出个要表示异议的反应。

“好了,好了,”他说,“只是你有点不同,你叫我找的是‘职位’。那个不好听的词‘活儿’和我写的大多数作品一样,令你不愉快。那词粗野。可我向你保证,所有我认识的人把那个词推荐给我时,它也并不好听一点,那是像叫一个不道德的角色把行为放规矩一样的。还是回到本题吧。我写作的东西的出版和我所得到的名声使你的爱情的本质发生了变化。你不愿意嫁给写完了他的全部作品的马丁·伊登,你对他的爱不够坚强,没有能使你嫁给他。可现在你的爱情却坚强起来了。我无法逃避一个结论:你那爱情的力量产生于出版和声望。对于你我不提版税,虽然我可以肯定它在你父母的转变里起着作用。当然,这一切是不会叫我高兴的。然而最糟糕的是,它使我怀疑起爱情,神圣的爱情了。难道爱情就那么庙俗,非得靠出版和声望来饲养不可么?可它好像正是这样。我曾经坐着想呀想吁,想得头昏脑涨。”

“我亲爱的可怜的头脑呀。”露丝伸出一只手来,用指头在他的头发里抚慰地搓揉着,“那你就别头昏脑涨了吧。现在让我们来重新开始。我一向是爱你的。我知道我曾服从过我母亲的意志,那是一种软弱,是不应该的。可是我曾多次听见你以悲天悯人的胸怀谈起人性的脆弱和易于堕落。把你那悲天悯人的胸怀也推广到我身上吧。我做了错事,希望你原谅。”

“啊,我是会原谅的,”他不耐烦地说,“没有可原谅的东西时原谅是容易的。你做的事其实不需要原谅。每个人都按照自己的思想行动,超过了这个他就无法行动。同样,我也无法因为不去找工作而请求你原谅。”

“我是出于好意,”她解释道,“这你知道,我既然爱你就不会不存好意。”

“不错,可是你那一番好意却可能毁了我。

“的确,的确,”她正要抗议却被他阴住了,“你是可能毁了我的写作和事业的。现实主义支配着我的天性,而资产阶级精神却仇恨现实主义。资产阶级是怯懦的,他门害怕生活,而你的全部努力就是让我害怕生活。你可能让我公式化,你可能把我塞进一个五尺长两尺宽的生活鸽子笼里,在那里生活的一切价值都是缥缈的,虚假的,庸俗的。”他感到她打算抗议。“庸俗性——从心眼里冒出来的庸俗性,我得承认——是资产阶级的风雅和文化的基础。正如我所说,你打算让我公式化,把我变成你们阶级的成员,怀着你们阶级的理想,承认你们阶级的价值观念和你们的阶级成见。”他忧伤地摇摇头,“而你到了现在也还不明白我说的是什么。我的话听在你耳里并不是我打算表达的意思。我说的话对于你简直是奇谈怪论,可对于我那却是要命的现实。你至多只感到有点糊涂,有点滑稽,这个从深渊的泥淖里爬出来的小伙子居然敢对你们的阶级作出评价,说它庸俗。”

她疲倦地把头靠在他身上,因为一阵阵紧张,身子战栗着。他等她说话,停了一会儿,又继续说了下去。

“现在你想让我们言归于好,想和我结婚,你需要我,可是,你听着——如果我的书没有引起注意,我现在还会依然故我,而你仍然会离我远远的。全都是因为那些他妈的书——”

“别骂粗话,”她插嘴说。

她的指责叫他大吃了一惊,他不客气地哈哈大笑起来。

“正好,”他说,“在关键时刻,在你似乎要拿一辈子的幸福孤注一掷的时候,你又按老规矩害怕起生活来了——害怕生活,也害怕一句无伤大雅的粗话。”

他的话刺痛了她,让她意识到了自己行为的幼稚。不过她也觉得马丁夸大得过火了一些,心里感到愤慨。两人默不作声,呆坐了许久。她心急火燎地考虑着,他却思量着自己已经消逝的爱情。现在他才明白他从没有真正爱过她。他所爱的是一个理想化了的露丝,一个自己所创造的虚无缥缈的露丝,是他的爱情诗篇里的光华灿烂的精灵。这个现实的露丝,这个资产阶级的露丝,这个有着种种资产阶级的弱点。满脑子塞着无可救药的资产阶级成见的露丝他从来就不曾爱过。

她突然开始说话了。

“我知道你的话大多是事实。我害怕过生活,我对你的爱有过错误,可我已经学会了更正确地恋爱。我爱现在的你,过去的你,爱你所走过的道路。我因为你所提出的我俩困阶级不同而产生的差异而爱你,因为你的信仰而爱你,虽然我不理解你的信仰,但我相信我可能理解。我要花功夫去理解它,甚至包括你的抽烟和粗话——它们都是你的一部分,因为它们我也要爱你。我还可以学习。在刚才这十分钟里我就学到了许多东西。我能到这儿来就说明我已经学到了许多东西。啊,马丁!——”

她抽泣着向他靠了过去。

他拥抱她的手臂第一次表现了温柔和同情,她快活地动了动,脸上闪出了光彩,表明她已经明白他的意思。

“太晚了,”他说。他想起了丽齐那句话。“我是个有病的人——啊,不是身体有病,而是灵魂有病,是头脑有病。我好像失去了我的一切价值,什么都满不在乎了。你要是几个月以前这样做,情况会不相同,可是现在太迟了。”

“还不太迟,”她叫了起来,“我来告诉你。我会向你证明我的爱情成长了。爱情比我的阶级和我所爱的一切都更重要。我要抛弃资产阶级最喜爱的一切。我不再害怕生活了。我要离开我的父母,让我的名字成为朋友间的笑柄。我现在就要搬到你这儿来住,只要你愿意,可以和我随意相爱。我要以和你一起生活为骄傲,感到快乐。如果我以前曾经背叛过爱情的话,那么我现在为了爱情就要背叛过去使我背叛的一切。”

她眼里闪着光芒,站在他面前。

“我在等着你呢,马丁,”她低声说道,“等着你接受我的爱,你看看我。”

他望着她想道,真是精彩。她就这样弥补了她所缺少的一切了,终于站了起来,真诚的女人,超越了资产阶级的传统。了不起,精彩,挺而走险。但是,他是怎么了?他并不曾因为她的行为而狂欢,而激动。那了不起的感觉,那精彩的感觉只是理智上的。在他应当燃烧时他却冷冷地估量着她。他的心没有被打动,他意识不到任何对她的欲望。他又想起了而齐那句话。

“我病了,病得很厉害,”他做了一个失望的手势,说道,“到目前为止,我还不知道我病得这么厉害。我身上少了点东西,我从来没有害怕过生活,可我做梦也没有想到会叫生活填得太饱。我被填得太多,对一切都失去了兴趣。如果肚子还有缝隙,我现在是会需要你的。你看我病得多厉害。”

他头向后仰,闭上了眼睛,然后像一个哭泣的儿童望着阳光透过泪膜遮蔽的眼球忘记了悲伤一样忘掉了他的病,忘掉了露丝的存在,忘掉了一切。以他的眼帘为背景的蓬勃生长的丛丛草木被炽热的阳光穿透了,他望着。绿色的叶丛并不恬静,阳光又太耀眼刺目,望着它使他觉得难受。可不知道为什么,他仍然望着。

门把手的声音惊醒了他,露丝已经走到了门口。

“我怎么出去呢?”她眼泪汪汪地问道,“我害怕。”

“啊,对不起,”他跳了起来,叫道,“我出神了,你知道。我忘了你在这儿。”他摸摸自己的脑袋。“你看,我刚才不大正常。我送你回家去吧。我们可以从仆役的门出去,没有人会看见的。把那窗帘拉下来,一切都会好的。”

她紧挨着他的手臂走过灯光暗淡的市道,走下狭窄的楼梯。

“我现在安全了,”两人来到人行道上,她说,同时从他手臂了抽出了手。

“不,不,我送你回家,”他回答。

“谢谢,不用了,”她拒绝,“没有必要。”

她第二次要抽掉手,他一时感到了好奇:现在她已无危险可言,为什么反而害怕了?她为了摆脱他几乎手忙脚乱了。他想不出理由,只以为她是紧张。他没有放掉她打算缩回的手,只带了她继续往前走。走过半段街区,看见一个穿长外套的人闪进了一家门口。他经过时瞥了一眼,尽管那人领子掀得很高,他却深信自己看见的是露丝的弟弟诺尔曼。

露丝和马丁走路时没大说话。她是惊呆了,他则冷漠。有一回他说他要走,要回南海去;有一回她要求他原谅她来看了他,然后两人便再没有话。到了门口,分手也是礼貌性的。两人握了握手,互道晚安,他又脱帽致意。门关上了,他点燃了一支香烟,走上回旅馆的路。他回到刚才诺尔曼躲进去的屋门口时,停住步子,带着特别的心清查看了一下。

“她撒谎了,”他大声说道,“她要我相信她冒了很大的危险,其实她一直知道她弟弟就在外面等着送她回家。”他不禁笑出声来。“啊!这些资产阶级!我倒霉的时候连跟他姐姐在一起也不配,怕叫人看见。我有了银行存款他却亲自把姐姐给我送上门来。”

他转身正要离开,一个跟他走同一方向的流浪汉从身后走来向他乞讨。

“我说,先生,给我一个两毛五的角子住店好么?”他说。

那声音叫马丁转过身子,却随即跟乔握起手来。

“还记得我们在温泉告别的时候么?”那人说,“那时我就说我们会见面的。这一点我从骨头里都感觉得到。现在我们可不就在这儿遇见了么?”

“你看去挺不错嘛,”马丁带着欣赏的口气说,“你长胖了。”

“当然长胖了,”乔满脸欢喜,“我是直到开始了流浪才懂得生活的。我体重增加了三十磅。可在那些日子却瘦得皮包骨头。我倒的确适合于流浪。”

“可你仍然在找钱住店,”马丁刺他一句,“而今天晚上又很冷。”

“哈!找钱住店么?”乔一只手插进屁股口袋,抓出一大把角子,“这可比做苦工强多了。”他得意扬扬地说,“你看起来挺阔的,所以我就敲你一家伙。”

马丁哈哈大笑,认了输。

“这一把钱倒够你大醉几回的,”他话外有话。

乔把钱塞进了口袋。

“我从不大醉,”他宣布,“从不喝醉,虽然我要醉也没有谁会挡我。我和你分手之后只醉过一回,那是意外,空肚子喝了酒。我干活像吉生的时候酒醉得也像畜生,我生活像人的时候喝酒也就像人了——高兴时偶尔来上两杯,绝不多喝。”

马丁约好明天跟乔见面,就回到旅馆。他在办公室看了看船舶消息。五天后马里泊萨号就去塔希提岛。

“明天在电话上给我订个豪华舱位,”他告诉服务员,“不要甲板上的,要下面的,迎风一面——在舷,记住,左航。你最好是记下来。”

一回到房里他就钻进被窝像个孩子似的睡着了。那晚发生的事对他毫无影响。他的心已经死灭,留不下什么印象。他遇见乔时的温暖情绪也非常短暂,他随即因那往日的洗衣工的出现而厌烦,为不得不说话而难受。五天以后他就要到他心爱的南海去了,可那对他也没有了意思。他闭上眼,一睡八个小时,睡得正常,舒坦,没有烦躁,没有翻身,也没有梦。睡眠于他就是忘却。他每天都为醒来感到遗憾。生命使他烦恼了,厌倦了,时光叫他难堪。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER 44


Mr. Morse met Martin in the office of the Hotel Metropole. Whether he had happened there just casually, intent on other affairs, or whether he had come there for the direct purpose of inviting him to dinner, Martin never could quite make up his mind, though he inclined toward the second hypothesis. At any rate, invited to dinner he was by Mr. Morse - Ruth's father, who had forbidden him the house and broken off the engagement.




Martin was not angry. He was not even on his dignity. He tolerated Mr. Morse, wondering the while how it felt to eat such humble pie. He did not decline the invitation. Instead, he put it off with vagueness and indefiniteness and inquired after the family, particularly after Mrs. Morse and Ruth. He spoke her name without hesitancy, naturally, though secretly surprised that he had had no inward quiver, no old, familiar increase of pulse and warm surge of blood.




He had many invitations to dinner, some of which he accepted. Persons got themselves introduced to him in order to invite him to dinner. And he went on puzzling over the little thing that was becoming a great thing. Bernard Higginbotham invited him to dinner. He puzzled the harder. He remembered the days of his desperate starvation when no one invited him to dinner. That was the time he needed dinners, and went weak and faint for lack of them and lost weight from sheer famine. That was the paradox of it. When he wanted dinners, no one gave them to him, and now that he could buy a hundred thousand dinners and was losing his appetite, dinners were thrust upon him right and left. But why? There was no justice in it, no merit on his part. He was no different. All the work he had done was even at that time work performed. Mr. and Mrs. Morse had condemned him for an idler and a shirk and through Ruth had urged that he take a clerk's position in an office. Furthermore, they had been aware of his work performed. Manuscript after manuscript of his had been turned over to them by Ruth. They had read them. It was the very same work that had put his name in all the papers, and, it was his name being in all the papers that led them to invite him.




One thing was certain: the Morses had not cared to have him for himself or for his work. Therefore they could not want him now for himself or for his work, but for the fame that was his, because he was somebody amongst men, and - why not? - because he had a hundred thousand dollars or so. That was the way bourgeois society valued a man, and who was he to expect it otherwise? But he was proud. He disdained such valuation. He desired to be valued for himself, or for his work, which, after all, was an expression of himself. That was the way Lizzie valued him. The work, with her, did not even count. She valued him, himself. That was the way Jimmy, the plumber, and all the old gang valued him. That had been proved often enough in the days when he ran with them; it had been proved that Sunday at Shell Mound Park. His work could go hang. What they liked, and were willing to scrap for, was just Mart Eden, one of the bunch and a pretty good guy.




Then there was Ruth. She had liked him for himself, that was indisputable. And yet, much as she had liked him she had liked the bourgeois standard of valuation more. She had opposed his writing, and principally, it seemed to him, because it did not earn money. That had been her criticism of his "Love-cycle." She, too, had urged him to get a job. It was true, she refined it to "position," but it meant the same thing, and in his own mind the old nomenclature stuck. He had read her all that he wrote - poems, stories, essays - "Wiki-Wiki," "The Shame of the Sun," everything. And she had always and consistently urged him to get a job, to go to work - good God! - as if he hadn't been working, robbing sleep, exhausting life, in order to be worthy of her.




So the little thing grew bigger. He was healthy and normal, ate regularly, slept long hours, and yet the growing little thing was becoming an obsession. WORK PERFORMED. The phrase haunted his brain. He sat opposite Bernard Higginbotham at a heavy Sunday dinner over Higginbotham's Cash Store, and it was all he could do to restrain himself from shouting out:-




"It was work performed! And now you feed me, when then you let me starve, forbade me your house, and damned me because I wouldn't get a job. And the work was already done, all done. And now, when I speak, you check the thought unuttered on your lips and hang on my lips and pay respectful attention to whatever I choose to say. I tell you your party is rotten and filled with grafters, and instead of flying into a rage you hum and haw and admit there is a great deal in what I say. And why? Because I'm famous; because I've a lot of money. Not because I'm Martin Eden, a pretty good fellow and not particularly a fool. I could tell you the moon is made of green cheese and you would subscribe to the notion, at least you would not repudiate it, because I've got dollars, mountains of them. And it was all done long ago; it was work performed, I tell you, when you spat upon me as the dirt under your feet."




But Martin did not shout out. The thought gnawed in his brain, an unceasing torment, while he smiled and succeeded in being tolerant. As he grew silent, Bernard Higginbotham got the reins and did the talking. He was a success himself, and proud of it. He was self- made. No one had helped him. He owed no man. He was fulfilling his duty as a citizen and bringing up a large family. And there was Higginbotham's Cash Store, that monument of his own industry and ability. He loved Higginbotham's Cash Store as some men loved their wives. He opened up his heart to Martin, showed with what keenness and with what enormous planning he had made the store. And he had plans for it, ambitious plans. The neighborhood was growing up fast. The store was really too small. If he had more room, he would be able to put in a score of labor-saving and money- saving improvements. And he would do it yet. He was straining every effort for the day when he could buy the adjoining lot and put up another two-story frame building. The upstairs he could rent, and the whole ground-floor of both buildings would be Higginbotham's Cash Store. His eyes glistened when he spoke of the new sign that would stretch clear across both buildings.




Martin forgot to listen. The refrain of "Work performed," in his own brain, was drowning the other's clatter. The refrain maddened him, and he tried to escape from it.




"How much did you say it would cost?" he asked suddenly.




His brother-in-law paused in the middle of an expatiation on the business opportunities of the neighborhood. He hadn't said how much it would cost. But he knew. He had figured it out a score of times.




"At the way lumber is now," he said, "four thousand could do it."




"Including the sign?"




"I didn't count on that. It'd just have to come, onc't the buildin' was there."




"And the ground?"




"Three thousand more."




He leaned forward, licking his lips, nervously spreading and closing his fingers, while he watched Martin write a check. When it was passed over to him, he glanced at the amount-seven thousand dollars.




"I - I can't afford to pay more than six per cent," he said huskily.




Martin wanted to laugh, but, instead, demanded:-




"How much would that be?"




"Lemme see. Six per cent - six times seven - four hundred an' twenty."




"That would be thirty-five dollars a month, wouldn't it?"




Higginbotham nodded.




"Then, if you've no objection, well arrange it this way." Martin glanced at Gertrude. "You can have the principal to keep for yourself, if you'll use the thirty-five dollars a month for cooking and washing and scrubbing. The seven thousand is yours if you'll guarantee that Gertrude does no more drudgery. Is it a go?"




Mr. Higginbotham swallowed hard. That his wife should do no more housework was an affront to his thrifty soul. The magnificent present was the coating of a pill, a bitter pill. That his wife should not work! It gagged him.




"All right, then," Martin said. "I'll pay the thirty-five a month, and - "




He reached across the table for the check. But Bernard Higginbotham got his hand on it first, crying:




"I accept! I accept!"




When Martin got on the electric car, he was very sick and tired. He looked up at the assertive sign.




"The swine," he groaned. "The swine, the swine."




When MACKINTOSH'S MAGAZINE published "The Palmist," featuring it with decorations by Berthier and with two pictures by Wenn, Hermann von Schmidt forgot that he had called the verses obscene. He announced that his wife had inspired the poem, saw to it that the news reached the ears of a reporter, and submitted to an interview by a staff writer who was accompanied by a staff photographer and a staff artist. The result was a full page in a Sunday supplement, filled with photographs and idealized drawings of Marian, with many intimate details of Martin Eden and his family, and with the full text of "The Palmist" in large type, and republished by special permission of MACKINTOSH'S MAGAZINE. It caused quite a stir in the neighborhood, and good housewives were proud to have the acquaintances of the great writer's sister, while those who had not made haste to cultivate it. Hermann von Schmidt chuckled in his little repair shop and decided to order a new lathe. "Better than advertising," he told Marian, "and it costs nothing."




"We'd better have him to dinner," she suggested.




And to dinner Martin came, making himself agreeable with the fat wholesale butcher and his fatter wife - important folk, they, likely to be of use to a rising young man like Hermann Yon Schmidt. No less a bait, however, had been required to draw them to his house than his great brother-in-law. Another man at table who had swallowed the same bait was the superintendent of the Pacific Coast agencies for the Asa Bicycle Company. Him Von Schmidt desired to please and propitiate because from him could be obtained the Oakland agency for the bicycle. So Hermann von Schmidt found it a goodly asset to have Martin for a brother-in-law, but in his heart of hearts he couldn't understand where it all came in. In the silent watches of the night, while his wife slept, he had floundered through Martin's books and poems, and decided that the world was a fool to buy them.




And in his heart of hearts Martin understood the situation only too well, as he leaned back and gloated at Von Schmidt's head, in fancy punching it well-nigh off of him, sending blow after blow home just right - the chuckle-headed Dutchman! One thing he did like about him, however. Poor as he was, and determined to rise as he was, he nevertheless hired one servant to take the heavy work off of Marian's hands. Martin talked with the superintendent of the Asa agencies, and after dinner he drew him aside with Hermann, whom he backed financially for the best bicycle store with fittings in Oakland. He went further, and in a private talk with Hermann told him to keep his eyes open for an automobile agency and garage, for there was no reason that he should not be able to run both establishments successfully.




With tears in her eyes and her arms around his neck, Marian, at parting, told Martin how much she loved him and always had loved him. It was true, there was a perceptible halt midway in her assertion, which she glossed over with more tears and kisses and incoherent stammerings, and which Martin inferred to be her appeal for forgiveness for the time she had lacked faith in him and insisted on his getting a job.




"He can't never keep his money, that's sure," Hermann von Schmidt confided to his wife. "He got mad when I spoke of interest, an' he said damn the principal and if I mentioned it again, he'd punch my Dutch head off. That's what he said - my Dutch head. But he's all right, even if he ain't no business man. He's given me my chance, an' he's all right."




Invitations to dinner poured in on Martin; and the more they poured, the more he puzzled. He sat, the guest of honor, at an Arden Club banquet, with men of note whom he had heard about and read about all his life; and they told him how, when they had read "The Ring of Bells" in the TRANSCONTINENTAL, and "The Peri and the Pearl" in THE HORNET, they had immediately picked him for a winner. My God! and I was hungry and in rags, he thought to himself. Why didn't you give me a dinner then? Then was the time. It was work performed. If you are feeding me now for work performed, why did you not feed me then when I needed it? Not one word in "The Ring of Bells," nor in "The Peri and the Pearl" has been changed. No; you're not feeding me now for work performed. You are feeding me because everybody else is feeding me and because it is an honor to feed me. You are feeding me now because you are herd animals; because you are part of the mob; because the one blind, automatic thought in the mob-mind just now is to feed me. And where does Martin Eden and the work Martin Eden performed come in in all this? he asked himself plaintively, then arose to respond cleverly and wittily to a clever and witty toast.




So it went. Wherever he happened to be - at the Press Club, at the Redwood Club, at pink teas and literary gatherings - always were remembered "The Ring of Bells" and "The Peri and the Pearl" when they were first published. And always was Martin's maddening and unuttered demand: Why didn't you feed me then? It was work performed. "The Ring of Bells" and "The Peri and the Pearl" are not changed one iota. They were just as artistic, just as worth while, then as now. But you are not feeding me for their sake, nor for the sake of anything else I have written. You're feeding me because it is the style of feeding just now, because the whole mob is crazy with the idea of feeding Martin Eden.




And often, at such times, he would abruptly see slouch in among the company a young hoodlum in square-cut coat and under a stiff-rim Stetson hat. It happened to him at the Gallina Society in Oakland one afternoon. As he rose from his chair and stepped forward across the platform, he saw stalk through the wide door at the rear of the great room the young hoodlum with the square-cut coat and stiff-rim hat. Five hundred fashionably gowned women turned their heads, so intent and steadfast was Martin's gaze, to see what he was seeing. But they saw only the empty centre aisle. He saw the young tough lurching down that aisle and wondered if he would remove the stiff-rim which never yet had he seen him without. Straight down the aisle he came, and up the platform. Martin could have wept over that youthful shade of himself, when he thought of all that lay before him. Across the platform he swaggered, right up to Martin, and into the foreground of Martin's consciousness disappeared. The five hundred women applauded softly with gloved hands, seeking to encourage the bashful great man who was their guest. And Martin shook the vision from his brain, smiled, and began to speak.




The Superintendent of Schools, good old man, stopped Martin on the street and remembered him, recalling seances in his office when Martin was expelled from school for fighting.




"I read your 'Ring of Bells' in one of the magazines quite a time ago," he said. "It was as good as Poe. Splendid, I said at the time, splendid!"




Yes, and twice in the months that followed you passed me on the street and did not know me, Martin almost said aloud. Each time I was hungry and heading for the pawnbroker. Yet it was work performed. You did not know me then. Why do you know me now?




"I was remarking to my wife only the other day," the other was saying, "wouldn't it be a good idea to have you out to dinner some time? And she quite agreed with me. Yes, she quite agreed with me."




"Dinner?" Martin said so sharply that it was almost a snarl.




"Why, yes, yes, dinner, you know - just pot luck with us, with your old superintendent, you rascal," he uttered nervously, poking Martin in an attempt at jocular fellowship.




Martin went down the street in a daze. He stopped at the corner and looked about him vacantly.




"Well, I'll be damned!" he murmured at last. "The old fellow was afraid of me."
莫尔斯先生在大都会旅馆的办公室遇见了马丁。他究竟是因为别的事偶然在那儿出现,还是因为要请他赴宴而专程去的,马丁很难确定,尽管地倾向于后一假说。总而言之,露丝的爸爸,那个禁止他进门、解除了他俩婚约的人,现在请他去吃饭了。

马丁没有生气,甚至没有拿架子。他容忍了莫尔斯先生,同时一直在猜想着像他那样纡尊降贵是个什么滋味。马丁没有谢绝邀请,却含糊其辞模棱两可他回避了它,只问起了一家人,特别是莫尔斯太太和露丝的情况。他提起露丝的名字时平静自如,并不犹豫,尽管他也暗自感到惊讶,怎么竟没有内心的颤栗,没有往日所熟悉的那种心跳急促热血涌动的情绪。

他收到许多宴会的邀请,也接受了一部分。有的人为了邀请他赴实而求人引荐。他继续为那变大了的小事感到迷惑。等到伯纳德·希金波坦也邀请他去赴宴时,他便更感到迷惑了。他记得自己那些饿得要死的日子,可那时没有人请他吃饭;而那正是他最需要饭吃的时候。因为没有饭吃,他虚弱,发昏,饿瘦了。这倒是个逻辑怪圈:那时他需要饭吃,却没有人请他;现在他可以买上十万顿饭,胃口山倒了,人们却从四面八方硬拉他去赴宴。这是为什么?他这不是无功受禄么?真没有道理。他还是他,他的作品那时早已完成。可那时莫尔斯先生和太太却指责他是懒汉,不负责任,又通过露丝催促他去找坐办公室的工作。他写成的作品他们都是读过的,露丝曾把他一份又一份的手稿给他们看,他们也都看了。而现在使他的名字出现在所有报纸上的却正是那些作品,而使他们请他赴宴的又正是他在报上的名字。

有一件事是肯定的:莫尔斯一家对他发生兴趣并非因为他或他的作品。由此看来,他们现在也不会因为他或他的作品而需要他,他们感兴趣的是他的名气,因为他现在已经出人头地,有了大约十万块钱。为什么不呢?资产阶级社会就是这样衡量人的。他算老几?他还能希望有什么别的情况?但他仍然自尊,他厌恶这种衡量标准。他希望人们按他的价值,或是他的作品给他评价。作品才是他自己的表现。丽齐就是这样评价他的。他的作品在她的眼里简直不算一回事。她是拿他自己评价他的。水电工吉米和他那批老哥儿们也是这样评价他的。这一点在他当年跟他们交往时已有足够的证明;贝陵公园的那个星期天表现得尤其清楚。他的作品可以忽略不计。他们喜欢的、愿意为他打架的是他们的同伙马丁·伊登,一个好哥儿们。

还有露丝。她爱的是他自己,这无可怀疑。但是,她虽然爱他,却更爱资产阶级的价值标准。她曾反对过他写作,他似乎觉得那主要是因为写作赚不了钱。她对他的《爱情组诗》就是那样评价的。她也劝过他去找份工作,不错,她把“工作”叫做“职位”,那其实是一回事,原来那说法总横亘在他心里。他曾把自己的全部作品读给她听,诗歌、小说、散文——《威几威几》、《太阳的耻辱》,所有的一切,而她却总不厌其烦地坚持要他去找工作,去干活——天呀!好像为了配得上她他并没有刻苦工作,剥夺睡眠,榨干了生活似的。

这样,那小事就变得更大了。他健康、正常、按时吃饭、睡眠充分,可那越长越大的小事却缠住了他。那时作品早完成了。这话者在他脑子里出现。在希金波坦现金商店楼上的一顿丰盛的晚宴上,他坐在伯纳德·希金波坦的对面,好不容易才算控制了自己,没有叫出声来:——

“那时作品早完成了!你到现在才来请我吃饭。那时你让我饿肚子,不让我进你家的门,因为我不去找工作而咒骂我。而那时我的作品早完成了,全完成了。现在我一说话,你就乖乖听着,无论我说什么你都乖乖听着,心里有话到了嘴边也压住不说。我告诉你你们那帮人都是混蛋,许多人都是剥削者,你也不生气,只一个劲哼哼哈哈,承认我的话里有许多道理。这是为什么?因为我有了名气,因为我有很多钱。并不是因为我是马丁·伊登,一个还算不错、也不太傻的人。说不定我告诉你月亮是生奶酪做的,你也会赞成,至少不会反对,因为我有钱,钱堆成了山。可我的作品很久以前就完成了。我告诉你,那些作品老早就完成了,可那时你却把我看作是你脚下的泥土,吐我唾沫。”

马丁·伊登并没有叫出声来。那思想咬啮着他的脑子,永不休止地折磨着他,他却微笑着,而且成功地表现了宽容。他讲完话,伯纳德·希金波坦便接过话茬,打开了话匣子。他自己就是一个成功的人,而且为此而骄傲。他是白手起家的,没有靠谁帮助,不欠任何人的情。他完成了一个公民的义务,拉扯大了一大家人,这才有了希金波坦现金商店,那是他的才能和勤劳的丰碑。他爱他的希金波坦现金商店有如某些人爱他们的妻子。他对马丁敞开了心扉,大讲他是如何聪明机敏,如何劳心焦思才建立起了商店的。而且他还有计划,雄心勃勃的计划:这附近正在迅速发展,这个商店委实太小。如果他有更多的空间,他可以作出一二十条省工省钱的改进。他现在还想干。他正在竭尽全力准备有一天能把店旁的土地弄到手,再修一套一楼一底的房屋。他可以把楼上租出去,把两套楼房的楼下用作希金波坦现金商店。他说到那块横跨两套楼房的新招牌时眼里放出了光芒。

马丁忘了听话。那人的唧唧呱呱已被他脑子里的叠句“那时作品早已完成”淹没了。那叠句叫他发疯,他想摆脱它。

“你刚才说那得花多少钱?”他突然问道。

他姐夫正大谈着附近地区的商业发展机会,立即住了口。刚才他并不曾提起那得花多少钱,不过他是知道的,他已经计算过一二十次了。

“按现在的木料价看,”他说,“四千元就够了。”

“包括招牌?”

“招牌没有算。房子修起来,招牌总得挂的。”

“地皮呢?”

“还得三千。”

他身子前倾,手指头神经质地捏拢只撒开,望着马丁开支票。支票递到他的面前,他瞟了一眼数目——七千。

“可我最多能出六厘利,”他沙哑了嗓子,说。

马丁几乎笑出声来,却问道:

“那得是多少钱?”

“我算算看,六厘利,六七——四百二十块。”

“那就是每月三十五块,是吧?”

希金波坦点了点头。

“好,如果你不反对的话,我们就这样安排,”马丁瞥了一眼格特露。“如果你把这每月三十五元用来雇人做饭、洗衣服、做清洁,本钱就归你。只要你保证格特露不再做苦工,这七千元就是你的了。这笔交易怎么样?”

希金波坦先生接受得好不费力。不让他的妻子做家务活,那简直是对他那节俭的灵魂的冒犯。那豪华的礼物成了药丸的糖衣,很苦的药丸。不让他的妻子干活!他碍难吞下。

“行,”马丁说,“这每月三十五块我来付,那么——”

马丁把手伸过桌子,要取回支票。可支票已经叫伯纳德·希金波坦的手抓住,希金波坦叫道:——

“我接受!我接受!”

马丁登上电车时感到异常难受而且厌倦。他抬头看看那神气十足的招牌。

“猪猡,”他嗷叫道,“猪猡,猪猡!”

《麦金托什杂志》以显著地位刊登了《手相家》,还由伯蒂埃配了装饰画,文思配了两幅插图,赫尔曼·冯·史密特已经忘记了他曾说这诗下流,反倒宣布:是他的妻子给了这诗以灵感,又有意让这消息传到了记者耳朵里,然后接受了一个报社作家的采访。那作家带来了一个报社摄影师和一个美工师。结果是在星期日增刊上占了一大版,满是照片和茉莉安理想化的画像。还加上许多马丁·伊登和他的家庭的亲切的琐事。《手相家》正文经过《麦金托什杂志》特许,以大号字体全文刊载。这在邻近地区引起了很大的轰动。正经人家的主妇们都以结识伟大作家的妹妹为荣,不认识她的人也急忙没法建立友谊。赫尔曼·冯·史密特在他的小修理店里得意地笑了,他决定再订购一套新车床。“比做广告还强呢,”他告诉茉莉安,“一个钱也没有花。”

“我们最好请他来吃晚饭,”她建议。

马丁来吃晚饭了。他让自己和那个搞肉类批发的胖子和他更胖的老婆融洽相处。那是邻近地区的重要人物,对像赫尔曼·冯·史密特这样正在上升的年轻人可能大有用处。不过,没有他妻舅这样的大人物做诱饵,那样的人是请不进门的。吞了同一颗约于来赴宴的还有阿撒自行车公司太平洋沿岸各代销店的总监。冯·史密特要想讨好他,拉拢他,因为从他可以得到在奥克兰的自行车代销权。因此赫尔曼·冯·史密特发现马丁·伊登这样一个妻舅对他竟成了一笔可观的财产。可是在心的深处他却怎么也想不通。等到夜深人静,他老婆已经入睡之后,他便把马丁的书和诗翻了个遍,结论是全世界都是傻瓜,这种东西也买。

马丁身子往后靠着,得意地望着冯·史密特的脑袋,他在心的深处对这局面洞若观火。他在幻想中揍着那脑袋,一拳又一拳地揍个正着,差不多要把它揍得掉下来——那傻里呱叽的荷兰佬!可那家伙却有一点叫他喜欢。他尽管穷,尽管下了决心往上爬,却雇了一个人把茉莉安的家务活儿接了过去。马丁跟阿撒公司的地区代理商总监谈完话,便趁晚饭后把他跟赫尔曼一起拉到了一边去。他给了赫尔曼经济上的支持,让他在奥克兰开个设备齐全的最好的自行车店。他还进一步跟赫尔曼私下谈话,要他留心物色一下,准备经营一家带车库的汽车代销店。因为没有理由说他就无法把两个铺子都经营得很成功。

分手时茉莉安用双臂搂住了他的脖子,泪流满面地告诉他她非常爱他,而且一向爱他。他确实感到她说那话时有点吞吞吐吐,可她流了更多的泪,亲了他更多次,又唧唧咕咕说了些不连贯的话,把那期期艾艾掩饰了过去。马丁把这理解为请求原谅,因为她当初曾经对他缺乏信心,要求他去找工作。

“他的钱是绝对管不住的,肯定,”赫尔曼·冯·史密特对老婆说知心话。“我一提起利息他就生气,他说连本钱也滚蛋吧,我若是再对他谈利息,他就要把我这荷兰脑袋敲掉。他就是那么说的——我这荷兰脑袋。不过,他虽然做生意不行,人倒是蛮好的。他给了我机会,是个好人。”

马丁的宴会邀请滚滚而来,来得越多他越觉得糊涂。在亚腾俱乐部的宴会上他占了贵宾席,跟他在一起的都是他平生所读到过或听见过的知名人士。他们告诉他他们在《跨越大陆》上读到他的《钟声激越》、在《大黄蜂》上读到他的《仙女与珍珠》时,早就认定了他会成功。天呀!他暗自想道:可我那时却是衣不蔽体食不果腹,那时你们怎么不来请我吃饭呢?那才是时候,那时我那些作品已经完成了。如果你们现在是因为我已经写成的作品而宴请我,那你们为什么不在我最需要的时候来宴请我呢?《钟声激越》和《仙女与珍珠》的字一个也不曾修改。不,你们不是因为我已经完成的作品而宴请我,而是因为别人都在宴请我而宴请我,因为宴请我很光彩。你们现在宴请我因为你们都是群居动物;因为你们是群氓的一部分;因为此时此刻群氓心态的一个盲目的冲动就是宴请我。在这一切之中马丁·伊登和马丁·伊登完成的作品究竟有什么作用呢?他痛苦地问自己。然后他站起身来对于一个聪明风趣的祝酒辞作出了聪明风趣的回答。

日子就这样过了下去。无论他在什么地方——在出版俱乐部,在红木俱乐部,在绯色茶会和文学集会上;总有人会提起《钟声激越》和《仙女与珍珠》刚出版的时候。那叫他发疯的他不曾提出的问题总要在他心里出现:那时候你们为什么不给我饭吃?作品那时已经完成了呀!《钟声激越》和《仙女与珍珠》现在一个字也没有修改呀!那时它们跟现在一样精彩,一样有价值呀。你们并不是因为它们才请我吃饭的,也不是因为我其他的作品。你们请我是因为请我吃饭目前很时髦,因为整个群氓集体正在为请马丁吃饭而发狂。_

在这样的时刻他便常常突然看见一个身穿方襟短外衣、头戴斯泰森硬檐阔边帽的年轻流氓从人群中摇摇摆摆地走了出来。有天下午他在奥克兰的哥林纳社就见到他。那时他刚离开座位穿过讲台走向前去。他看见那年轻的流氓从巨大的厅堂后面的大门口神气十足地走了进来,身穿方襟短外衣,头戴硬檐阔边帽。马丁看得如此认真专注,五百个衣着时髦的仕女名媛也都转过头去看他在看什么。可她们只看见了座位正中空空的走道。马丁看见那年轻的粗汉沿着走道过来了,猜想着他是否会脱掉他从没见他脱下过的硬檐帽。那人沿着吊道笔直地走来了,走上了讲台。马丁想起他面前的路,差不多为自己那年轻的幻影哭了出来。那人摇摇摆摆穿过讲台,直往马丁走来,然后在马丁的意识前沿消失了。五百个仕女名媛用戴了手套的手轻轻地鼓起掌来,要想鼓励她们的客人,那羞涩的伟人。马丁把那幻影从他的头脑里摇掉了,笑了笑,开始了讲演。

学校视导员,一个好老头,在路边叫住了马丁。他想起了他,回忆了在他办公室里跟他的几次会见,那时马丁因为打架被学校开除了。

“很久以前我在一份杂志上读到了你的《钟声激越》,”他说,“好得就像爱伦·坡的作品。精彩,我那时就说,精彩!”

是的,以后几个月里,你两次从我身边走过,都没有认出我来——马丁几乎这样叫出声来。那两次我都在挨饿,在上当铺。可那时我的作品已经完成了。你现在为什么又来认我呢?

“那天我还在对我的老伴说,”对方还在讲,“请你出来吃顿饭会不会是个好主意呢?她非常赞成。是的,她非常赞成我的意思。”

“吃饭?”马丁声音很凶,几乎像咆哮。

“什么?啊,是的是的,吃饭,你知道——跟我们吃一顿便饭,跟你的老学监,你这个小鬼,”他有点紧张地说。装作开玩笑、挺友好的样子。

马丁感到莫名其妙,沿着大街走着。他在街角站住了,向四面茫然地望了望。

“哼,真有意思!”他终于喃喃地说道,“那老家伙在害怕我呢。”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  43


"The Shame of the Sun" was published in October. As Martin cut the cords of the express package and the half-dozen complimentary copies from the publishers spilled out on the table, a heavy sadness fell upon him. He thought of the wild delight that would have been his had this happened a few short months before, and he contrasted that delight that should have been with his present uncaring coldness. His book, his first book, and his pulse had not gone up a fraction of a beat, and he was only sad. It meant little to him now. The most it meant was that it might bring some money, and little enough did he care for money.




He carried a copy out into the kitchen and presented it to Maria.




"I did it," he explained, in order to clear up her bewilderment. "I wrote it in the room there, and I guess some few quarts of your vegetable soup went into the making of it. Keep it. It's yours. Just to remember me by, you know."




He was not bragging, not showing off. His sole motive was to make her happy, to make her proud of him, to justify her long faith in him. She put the book in the front room on top of the family Bible. A sacred thing was this book her lodger had made, a fetich of friendship. It softened the blow of his having been a laundryman, and though she could not understand a line of it, she knew that every line of it was great. She was a simple, practical, hard-working woman, but she possessed faith in large endowment.




Just as emotionlessly as he had received "The Shame of the Sun" did he read the reviews of it that came in weekly from the clipping bureau. The book was making a hit, that was evident. It meant more gold in the money sack. He could fix up Lizzie, redeem all his promises, and still have enough left to build his grass-walled castle.




Singletree, Darnley & Co. had cautiously brought out an edition of fifteen hundred copies, but the first reviews had started a second edition of twice the size through the presses; and ere this was delivered a third edition of five thousand had been ordered. A London firm made arrangements by cable for an English edition, and hot-footed upon this came the news of French, German, and Scandinavian translations in progress. The attack upon the Maeterlinck school could not have been made at a more opportune moment. A fierce controversy was precipitated. Saleeby and Haeckel indorsed and defended "The Shame of the Sun," for once finding themselves on the same side of a question. Crookes and Wallace ranged up on the opposing side, while Sir Oliver Lodge attempted to formulate a compromise that would jibe with his particular cosmic theories. Maeterlinck's followers rallied around the standard of mysticism. Chesterton set the whole world laughing with a series of alleged non-partisan essays on the subject, and the whole affair, controversy and controversialists, was well-nigh swept into the pit by a thundering broadside from George Bernard Shaw. Needless to say the arena was crowded with hosts of lesser lights, and the dust and sweat and din became terrific.




"It is a most marvellous happening," Singletree, Darnley & Co. wrote Martin, "a critical philosophic essay selling like a novel. You could not have chosen your subject better, and all contributory factors have been unwarrantedly propitious. We need scarcely to assure you that we are making hay while the sun shines. Over forty thousand copies have already been sold in the United States and Canada, and a new edition of twenty thousand is on the presses. We are overworked, trying to supply the demand. Nevertheless we have helped to create that demand. We have already spent five thousand dollars in advertising. The book is bound to be a record-breaker."




"Please find herewith a contract in duplicate for your next book which we have taken the liberty of forwarding to you. You will please note that we have increased your royalties to twenty per 
cent, which is about as high as a conservative publishing house dares go. If our offer is agreeable to you, please fill in the proper blank space with the title of your book. We make no stipulations concerning its nature. Any book on any subject. If you have one already written, so much the better. Now is the time to strike. The iron could not be hotter."




"On receipt of signed contract we shall be pleased to make you an advance on royalties of five thousand dollars. You see, we have faith in you, and we are going in on this thing big. We should like, also, to discuss with you the drawing up of a contract for a term of years, say ten, during which we shall have the exclusive right of publishing in book-form all that you produce. But more of this anon."




Martin laid down the letter and worked a problem in mental arithmetic, finding the product of fifteen cents times sixty thousand to be nine thousand dollars. He signed the new contract, inserting "The Smoke of Joy" in the blank space, and mailed it back to the publishers along with the twenty storiettes he had written in the days before he discovered the formula for the newspaper storiette. And promptly as the United States mail could deliver and return, came Singletree, Darnley & Co.'s check for five thousand dollars.




"I want you to come down town with me, Maria, this afternoon about two o'clock," Martin said, the morning the check arrived. "Or, better, meet me at Fourteenth and Broadway at two o'clock. I'll be looking out for you."




At the appointed time she was there; but SHOES was the only clew to the mystery her mind had been capable of evolving, and she suffered a distinct shock of disappointment when Martin walked her right by a shoe-store and dived into a real estate office. What happened thereupon resided forever after in her memory as a dream. Fine gentlemen smiled at her benevolently as they talked with Martin and one another; a type-writer clicked; signatures were affixed to an imposing document; her own landlord was there, too, and affixed his signature; and when all was over and she was outside on the sidewalk, her landlord spoke to her, saying, "Well, Maria, you won't have to pay me no seven dollars and a half this month."




Maria was too stunned for speech.




"Or next month, or the next, or the next," her landlord said.




She thanked him incoherently, as if for a favor. And it was not until she had returned home to North Oakland and conferred with her own kind, and had the Portuguese grocer investigate, that she really knew that she was the owner of the little house in which she had lived and for which she had paid rent so long.




"Why don't you trade with me no more?" the Portuguese grocer asked Martin that evening, stepping out to hail him when he got off the car; and Martin explained that he wasn't doing his own cooking any more, and then went in and had a drink of wine on the house. He noted it was the best wine the grocer had in stock.




"Maria," Martin announced that night, "I'm going to leave you. And you're going to leave here yourself soon. Then you can rent the house and be a landlord yourself. You've a brother in San Leandro or Haywards, and he's in the milk business. I want you to send all your washing back unwashed - understand? - unwashed, and to go out to San Leandro to-morrow, or Haywards, or wherever it is, and see that brother of yours. Tell him to come to see me. I'll be stopping at the Metropole down in Oakland. He'll know a good milk- ranch when he sees one."




And so it was that Maria became a landlord and the sole owner of a dairy, with two hired men to do the work for her and a bank account that steadily increased despite the fact that her whole brood wore shoes and went to school. Few persons ever meet the fairy princes they dream about; but Maria, who worked hard and whose head was hard, never dreaming about fairy princes, entertained hers in the guise of an ex-laundryman.




In the meantime the world had begun to ask: "Who is this Martin Eden?" He had declined to give any biographical data to his publishers, but the newspapers were not to be denied. Oakland was his own town, and the reporters nosed out scores of individuals who could supply information. All that he was and was not, all that he had done and most of what he had not done, was spread out for the delectation of the public, accompanied by snapshots and photographs - the latter procured from the local photographer who had once taken Martin's picture and who promptly copyrighted it and put it on the market. At first, so great was his disgust with the magazines and all bourgeois society, Martin fought against publicity; but in the end, because it was easier than not to, he surrendered. He found that he could not refuse himself to the special writers who travelled long distances to see him. Then again, each day was so many hours long, and, since he no longer was occupied with writing and studying, those hours had to be occupied somehow; so he yielded to what was to him a whim, permitted interviews, gave his opinions on literature and philosophy, and even accepted invitations of the bourgeoisie. He had settled down into a strange and comfortable state of mind. He no longer cared. He forgave everybody, even the cub reporter who had painted him red and to whom he now granted a full page with specially posed photographs.




He saw Lizzie occasionally, and it was patent that she regretted the greatness that had come to him. It widened the space between them. Perhaps it was with the hope of narrowing it that she yielded to his persuasions to go to night school and business college and to have herself gowned by a wonderful dressmaker who charged outrageous prices. She improved visibly from day to day, until Martin wondered if he was doing right, for he knew that all her compliance and endeavor was for his sake. She was trying to make herself of worth in his eyes - of the sort of worth he seemed to value. Yet he gave her no hope, treating her in brotherly fashion and rarely seeing her.




"Overdue" was rushed upon the market by the Meredith-Lowell Company in the height of his popularity, and being fiction, in point of sales it made even a bigger strike than "The Shame of the Sun." Week after week his was the credit of the unprecedented performance of having two books at the head of the list of best-sellers. Not only did the story take with the fiction-readers, but those who read "The Shame of the Sun" with avidity were likewise attracted to the sea-story by the cosmic grasp of mastery with which he had handled it. First he had attacked the literature of mysticism, and had done it exceeding well; and, next, he had successfully supplied the very literature he had exposited, thus proving himself to be that rare genius, a critic and a creator in one.




Money poured in on him, fame poured in on him; he flashed, comet- like, through the world of literature, and he was more amused than interested by the stir he was making. One thing was puzzling him, a little thing that would have puzzled the world had it known. But the world would have puzzled over his bepuzzlement rather than over the little thing that to him loomed gigantic. Judge Blount invited him to dinner. That was the little thing, or the beginning of the little thing, that was soon to become the big thing. He had insulted Judge Blount, treated him abominably, and Judge Blount, meeting him on the street, invited him to dinner. Martin bethought himself of the numerous occasions on which he had met Judge Blount at the Morses' and when Judge Blount had not invited him to dinner. Why had he not invited him to dinner then? he asked himself. He had not changed. He was the same Martin Eden. What made the difference? The fact that the stuff he had written had appeared inside the covers of books? But it was work performed. It was not something he had done since. It was achievement accomplished at the very time Judge Blount was sharing this general view and sneering at his Spencer and his intellect. Therefore it was not for any real value, but for a purely fictitious value that Judge Blount invited him to dinner.




Martin grinned and accepted the invitation, marvelling the while at his complacence. And at the dinner, where, with their womankind, were half a dozen of those that sat in high places, and where Martin found himself quite the lion, Judge Blount, warmly seconded by Judge Hanwell, urged privately that Martin should permit his name to be put up for the Styx - the ultra-select club to which belonged, not the mere men of wealth, but the men of attainment. And Martin declined, and was more puzzled than ever.




He was kept busy disposing of his heap of manuscripts. He was overwhelmed by requests from editors. It had been discovered that he was a stylist, with meat under his style. THE NORTHERN REVIEW, after publishing "The Cradle of Beauty," had written him for half a dozen similar essays, which would have been supplied out of the heap, had not BURTON'S MAGAZINE, in a speculative mood, offered him five hundred dollars each for five essays. He wrote back that he would supply the demand, but at a thousand dollars an essay. He remembered that all these manuscripts had been refused by the very magazines that were now clamoring for them. And their refusals had been cold-blooded, automatic, stereotyped. They had made him sweat, and now he intended to make them sweat. BURTON'S MAGAZINE paid his price for five essays, and the remaining four, at the same rate, were snapped up by MACKINTOSH'S MONTHLY, THE NORTHERN REVIEW being too poor to stand the pace. Thus went out to the world "The High Priests of Mystery," "The Wonder-Dreamers," "The Yardstick of the Ego," "Philosophy of Illusion," "God and Clod," "Art and Biology," "Critics and Test-tubes," "Star-dust," and "The Dignity of Usury," - to raise storms and rumblings and mutterings that were many a day in dying down.




Editors wrote to him telling him to name his own terms, which he did, but it was always for work performed. He refused resolutely to pledge himself to any new thing. The thought of again setting pen to paper maddened him. He had seen Brissenden torn to pieces by the crowd, and despite the fact that him the crowd acclaimed, he could not get over the shock nor gather any respect for the crowd. His very popularity seemed a disgrace and a treason to Brissenden. It made him wince, but he made up his mind to go on and fill the money-bag.




He received letters from editors like the following: "About a year ago we were unfortunate enough to refuse your collection of love- poems. We were greatly impressed by them at the time, but certain arrangements already entered into prevented our taking them. If you still have them, and if you will be kind enough to forward them, we shall be glad to publish the entire collection on your own terms. We are also prepared to make a most advantageous offer for bringing them out in book-form."




Martin recollected his blank-verse tragedy, and sent it instead. He read it over before mailing, and was particularly impressed by its sophomoric amateurishness and general worthlessness. But he sent it; and it was published, to the everlasting regret of the editor. The public was indignant and incredulous. It was too far a cry from Martin Eden's high standard to that serious bosh. It was asserted that he had never written it, that the magazine had faked it very clumsily, or that Martin Eden was emulating the elder Dumas and at the height of success was hiring his writing done for him. But when he explained that the tragedy was an early effort of his literary childhood, and that the magazine had refused to be happy unless it got it, a great laugh went up at the magazine's expense and a change in the editorship followed. The tragedy was never brought out in book-form, though Martin pocketed the advance royalties that had been paid.




COLEMAN'S WEEKLY sent Martin a lengthy telegram, costing nearly three hundred dollars, offering him a thousand dollars an article for twenty articles. He was to travel over the United States, with all expenses paid, and select whatever topics interested him. The body of the telegram was devoted to hypothetical topics in order to show him the freedom of range that was to be his. The only restriction placed upon him was that he must confine himself to the United States. Martin sent his inability to accept and his regrets by wire "collect."




"Wiki-Wiki," published in WARREN'S MONTHLY, was an instantaneous success. It was brought out forward in a wide-margined, beautifully decorated volume that struck the holiday trade and sold like wildfire. The critics were unanimous in the belief that it would take its place with those two classics by two great writers, "The Bottle Imp" and "The Magic Skin."




The public, however, received the "Smoke of Joy" collection rather dubiously and coldly. The audacity and unconventionality of the storiettes was a shock to bourgeois morality and prejudice; but when Paris went mad over the immediate translation that was made, the American and English reading public followed suit and bought so many copies that Martin compelled the conservative house of Singletree, Darnley & Co. to pay a flat royalty of twenty-five per cent for a third book, and thirty per cent flat for a fourth. These two volumes comprised all the short stories he had written and which had received, or were receiving, serial publication. "The Ring of Bells" and his horror stories constituted one collection; the other collection was composed of "Adventure," "The Pot," "The Wine of Life," "The Whirlpool," "The Jostling Street," and four other stories. The Lowell-Meredith Company captured the collection of all his essays, and the Maxmillian Company got his "Sea Lyrics" and the "Love-cycle," the latter receiving serial publication in the LADIES' HOME COMPANION after the payment of an extortionate price.




Martin heaved a sigh of relief when he had disposed of the last manuscript. The grass-walled castle and the white, coppered schooner were very near to him. Well, at any rate he had discovered Brissenden's contention that nothing of merit found its way into the magazines. His own success demonstrated that Brissenden had been wrong.




And yet, somehow, he had a feeling that Brissenden had been right, after all. "The Shame of the Sun" had been the cause of his success more than the stuff he had written. That stuff had been merely incidental. It had been rejected right and left by the magazines. The publication of "The Shame of the Sun" had started a controversy and precipitated the landslide in his favor. Had there been no "Shame of the Sun" there would have been no landslide, and had there been no miracle in the go of "The Shame of the Sun" there would have been no landslide. Singletree, Darnley & Co. attested that miracle. They had brought out a first edition of fifteen hundred copies and been dubious of selling it. They were experienced publishers and no one had been more astounded than they at the success which had followed. To them it had been in truth a miracle. They never got over it, and every letter they wrote him reflected their reverent awe of that first mysterious happening. They did not attempt to explain it. There was no explaining it. It had happened. In the face of all experience to the contrary, it had happened.




So it was, reasoning thus, that Martin questioned the validity of his popularity. It was the bourgeoisie that bought his books and poured its gold into his money-sack, and from what little he knew of the bourgeoisie it was not clear to him how it could possibly appreciate or comprehend what he had written. His intrinsic beauty and power meant nothing to the hundreds of thousands who were acclaiming him and buying his books. He was the fad of the hour, the adventurer who had stormed Parnassus while the gods nodded. The hundreds of thousands read him and acclaimed him with the same brute non-understanding with which they had flung themselves on Brissenden's "Ephemera" and torn it to pieces - a wolf-rabble that fawned on him instead of fanging him. Fawn or fang, it was all a matter of chance. One thing he knew with absolute certitude: "Ephemera" was infinitely greater than anything he had done. It was infinitely greater than anything he had in him. It was a poem of centuries. Then the tribute the mob paid him was a sorry tribute indeed, for that same mob had wallowed "Ephemera" into the mire. He sighed heavily and with satisfaction. He was glad the last manuscript was sold and that he would soon be done with it all.
《太阳的耻辱》十月份出版了。快邮送来了包裹,马丁割断包裹绳,出版社赠送的那半打样书便散落到桌上。他不禁感到一种沉重的悲哀。他想到,此事若发生在短短几个月以前,他会是多么欢畅得意。他把那可能出现的狂欢和目前这满不在乎的冷淡作了个对比。那是他的书,他的第一本书,可是他的心却并不曾丝毫加速了跳跃,他感到的只是悲凉。此事对他已经毫无意义。它最大的作用只是给他带来一点钱,而对钱他又已经很不在乎了。

他拿了一本书来到厨房,送给了玛利亚。

“我写的,”他解释道,想消除她的迷惑。“就是在我那间屋里写的,看来你有些菜汤还给我的写作帮了忙呢。留下吧,这书送给你了。不过作个纪念而已,你知道。”

他没有吹嘘,也没有炫耀,一心只求她高兴,求她为他骄傲,也证明她长时间以来对他的信心并没有错。她把那书放在前厅的家用圣经上。她的房客写的这本书是神圣的,是个友谊的象征,冲淡了他曾做过洗衣工这一事实给她的打击。她虽然一句也读不懂,但她明白那书的每一行都很了不起。她是个单纯而实际的女人,对信念具有宏大的天赋。

他接到《太阳的耻辱》时无动于衷,读到剪报社每周给他寄来的评论时也照样无动于衷。很明显,那书正在走俏。那意味着钱袋里更多的金币,他可以安排好丽齐的生活,实践他以前的每一个诺言,还可以建造他那干草打墙的堡垒。

欣格垂、达恩利公司出版时小心翼翼,一共才出一千五百本。但是书评刚开始发表,他们便加印了三千本。这第二批书还没有发出,定单又来了,要求再出一版,五千本。伦敦一家公司又用电报接洽,要出一个英国版。紧接着又相继传来消息,法国、德国和斯堪的纳维亚各国的译本也要出版。现在正是攻击梅特林克学派的最佳时机。随之而来的是一场激烈的论战。撒里比和海克尔终于发现他们也有观点相同的机会了:双方都赞成《太阳的耻辱》,并为它辩护。柯鲁克和华莱士却持反对意见;而奥利福·罗季爵士则试图从中寻求出一个折中的公式,使之和他独特的宇宙理论会拍。而梅特林克的信徒们却在神秘主义的旗帜之下聚合了起来。切斯脱顿对这一问题发表了一连串自命为不偏不简的文章,却引来了全世界的讪笑。而萧伯纳则发出了一阵排炮,几乎把这整个事件、全部争论和全部参加争论的人都何了个落花流水。当然,战场上还挤满了许多元籍籍名的英雄豪杰,闹了个汗流浃背,沸反盈天,尘土飞扬。

“此事非常出色,”欣格垂、达恩利公司给马丁的信上说,“哲学评论竟然能如小说一样畅销。先生之选题精彩之至。一切情况都意外地看好。我们几乎用不着向你保证我们正在未雨绸缪。在美国和加拿大此书已售出四万册,另有一新版本亦在印刷之中,印数为两万。为了满足需求我们正在加班加点。不过为造成需求我校亦煞费苦心,已花去广告费五千元。此书无疑将打破记录。

“我社在此信中已冒昧奉寄有关先生另一作品之合同一纸,一式两份。请注意,版税报酬已增至百分之二十。该报酬已是稳健的出版社所敢订出的最高数额。先生如觉可行,请即在表中有关空白处填具先生新书书名。该书性质我社不作规定,任何主题之任何书籍均可。若有已写成之书更佳。目前乃趁热打铁之最佳时机。

“我社接到先生签署之合同后即将预支给先生版税五千元。请注意,我社对先生信心十足,打算就此事大干一场。我社亦乐意与先生磋商签定一份多年合同,比如十年,十年之间见先生作品一律由我社以书籍形式出版。有未尽事宜,容后速议。”

马丁放下信,在心里算了一道算术题,发现一毛五乘以六万是九千元。他签署了新的合同,在空白处填上了《欢的轻烟》,寄给了出版人,又把他早在发现写作报纸小小说的公式之前写的二十篇小小说一起寄了去。于是,欣格垂、达恩利公司就以美国邮递回函所能达到的最高速度寄来了五千元的支票一张。

“玛利亚。我要你今天下午两点左右跟我一起进城去,”支票到达的那天上午,马丁说,“或者,你就在两点钟到十四号街和大马路的十字路口等我,我去找你。”

玛利亚在约定的时间来到了那里,她讨这个谜团所能作出的唯一解释是:买鞋。但是在马丁过鞋店而不久,却径直走进了地产公司时,她显然大失所望。在那儿发生的一切以后永远像梦一样留在她的记忆里。文质彬彬的先生们跟马丁谈话或跟她谈话时都和善地微笑着。打字机的的答答地敲了一会;堂皇的文件签上了名;她自己的房东也到了,也签了名。一切手续办完她出了店门来到人行道上,她的房东对她说:“好了,玛利亚,这个月你不用付我七元五角了。”

玛利亚大吃了一惊,说不出话来。

“下个月也不用付了,再下个月也不用付了,再下个月也一样,”房东说。

她前言不搭后语地对他表示感谢,好像受到了什么恩惠。直到她回到北奥克兰自己家里,和伙伴们商量过,又找那葡萄牙商人咨询了一番之后,她才真正明白自己已成了那幢她居住了多年、付了多年房租的小屋子的主人了。

“你怎么不来买我的东西了呢?”那天晚上那葡萄牙商人见马丁从车上下来,便抢出门去招呼他,并问道。马丁解释说他自己已不再烧饭了,然后主人便请他进门去喝了酒。他发现那是杂货店存货中最好的酒。

“玛利亚,”马丁那天晚上宣布,“我要离开你了。你自己也马上就要离开这儿了。你也可以当房主,把这房子租出去。你有个做奶品生意的弟弟,在圣利安德罗或是海华德。我要你明天就把所有的脏衣服都送回去,不用再洗了。明白么?不洗了。到圣利安德罗、海华德或是别的什么地方去找到你的弟弟,请他来见我。我在奥克兰的大都会旅馆等他,他见到了好奶牛场是能鉴别的。”

于是玛利亚就成了个房东,又成了奶牛场的独家老板。她请了两个帮工做事,还开了一个银行户头,尽管她的孩子们都穿上了鞋,而且上学读书,存折里的钱却还稳定地增长着。很少有人遇见过自己所梦想的神仙王子,但是辛苦工作、头脑单纯的玛利亚却接待了她的神仙王于,那王子假扮成了一个往日的洗衣工,虽然她从没做过神仙王子的梦D

与此同时全世界都已开始在问:“这个马丁·伊登是个什么样的人?”马丁拒绝给他的出版人任何个人的传记资料,但是报纸他却无法拒绝。他是奥克兰人,记者们打听出了几十个能够提供有关他的资料的人。他们把他是什么样的人、不是什么样的人,所有他干过的事、大部分他没有干过的事都摊到人们面前,让他们高兴,还配上了抢拍镜头和照片。照片是从当地一个摄影师那儿弄到手的。那人曾经给马丁拍过照,现在便立即拿照片申请了专利,而且送上了市场。马丁对杂志和整个资产阶级社会深恶痛绝,开始时他跟宣扬自己作过斗争,可最后却屈服了,因为不斗争比斗争容易。他发现自己无法拒绝从大老远跑来采访他的特派作家,何况一天有那么多个小时,他又不再写作和读书了,时间总得打发过去;于是他便向他认为是想人非非的东西投降了,接受了采访,发表了有关文学和哲学的见解,甚至接受资产阶级的邀请去赴宴。他在一种奇怪的心气平和的心境里安定了下来,再也不着急了。他原谅了一切人,甚至包括了那把他描绘成赤色分子的半瓶醋记者。他还让他做了一整版报道,摆开架势让他照了许多相片。

他偶然还见到丽齐,她显然对他的走红感到遗憾。这事扩大了他俩之间的距离。也许是为了缩小距离,她接受了他的建议去上夜校,上商业学院,还请了一个了不起的女衣裁缝给她做衣服,那裁缝收费高得吓人。她一天比一天进步了,直到马丁怀疑起自己的做法是否得体。因为他明白她的这一切迁就和努力都是为了他。她是在努力让自己在他眼里具有分量——具有他似乎重视的那种分量。但是他并没有给她希望,又像个哥哥一样对待她,也很少跟她见面。

在他红极一时之际,梅瑞迪思-罗威尔公司迫不及待地把他的《过期》推上了市场。由于是小说,它在销售量上取得了比《太阳的批辱》更大的成功。他得到了前所未有的荣耀,两本书同时在每周的畅销书排行榜上名列前茅。那小说不但赢得了小说读者的青睐,而且以其处理海洋情节的宏大气魄和精湛技艺吸引了津津有味地读过《太阳的耻辱》的人们。首先,他曾经极其精彩地攻击过神秘主义文学,然后,他又成功地提供了自己所阐明的那种文学作品,从而证明了自己是集作家与评论家于一身的罕见的天才。

金钱向他汩汩流来,荣誉向他滔滔而至,他像童星一样划过了文学的天空。他对自己引起的这番骚动的感觉与其说是有趣毋宁说是好笑。有一件小事令他不解。那小事老是世人知道了是会不解的。不过人们感到不解的只会是他的不解,而不是那件令他觉得越来越大的小事。布朗特法官邀请他去吃饭。那就是那小事的滥觞——或者说那就是那不久就变成了大事的小事的滥筋。他曾经侮辱过布朗特法官,对他的态度可恶已极,而布朗特法官在街上遇见他却指他去吃饭。马丁想道:他在莫尔斯家曾经无数次地见到过布朗特法官,他从没有请他吃饭。那时候他为什么不请他吃饭呢?他问自己。他自己并没有变,他还是那个马丁·伊登,那么,这变化是怎么来的?是他写的那些东西已经在书本的封面与封底之间出现了么?可那些东西地当初就已经完成,而不是后来才完成的。在布朗特法官按一般人的意见嘲弄他的斯宾塞和他的智力时,那些成就便已经取得了。因此布朗特法官清他吃饭并不是因为他任何真正的价值,而是因为一种完全虚幻的价值。

马丁苦笑了一下,接受了邀请,同时也为自己的心安理很感到奇怪。晚宴上有六七个高层人物和他们的女眷。马丁发现自己成了个大红人。布朗特法官私下劝他允许把他的名字列入思提克司俱乐部,这建议得到汉威尔法官的热烈支持。思提克司俱乐部是个非常挑剔的俱乐部,参加的人不但要广有资财,而且要成就卓越。马丁婉言谢绝了,却比任何时候都想不通了。

他忙着处理他那一大堆旧稿。编辑们的稿约使他穷于应付。有人发现他原来是个风格作家,他的风格之中大有文章。《北方评论》在发表了他的《美的摇篮》之后给他写信,要他写半打类似的论文,他正想拿他旧稿堆里的东西去应付时,《伯顿杂志》早抱着投机的态度约过他五篇稿子,每篇五百元。他回信说他可以满足要求,但每篇得要一千元。他记得所有这些稿子都曾为现在吵着要稿子的杂志所拒绝,而且都拒绝得冷酷,机械,官样文章。他们曾经叫他流汗,他也要叫他们流点汗才行。伯顿杂志按照他的价格接受了他的五篇文章,剩下的四篇被《麦金托什月刊》以同样的稿酬抢了去。《奇迹的大祭司》、《奇迹梦想者》、《自我的尺度》、《幻觉的哲学》、《艺术与生物学》、《上帝与土块》、《批评家与试管》、《星尘》和《高利贷的尊严》就是这样与读者见了面的。这些作品引起了风暴、轰动和抱怨,多少日子才平息下来。

编辑们给他写信,让他提出大纲。他提出了大纲,但都是按已写成的作品提的。他坚决拒绝答应写任何新作品。一想到提笔写作他就生气。他曾眼见布里森登被群众撕扯成了碎片。尽管他现在受到欢呼,心里仍有余悸,对群氓仍尊重不起来。他的名声似乎是一种耻辱,是对布里森登的背叛。它叫他想撤离,但他决心继续下去,好把钱袋装满。

他接到的编辑们的来信大体都是这样:“约在一年前本刊曾不幸婉绝先生惠寄之爱情诗集,同人等当时虽有深刻印象,却碍于已有安排,忍痛割爱。目前该稿如仍在先生手中,且愿赏光惠寄,我刊将乐于按先生条件全部发表,并以最优厚稿酬将该稿作诗集出版。”

马丁想起了他的素体诗悲剧,便把它寄去充数。寄出之前他再读了一遍,那剧本的幼稚、浅薄和业余味儿给了他特别深的印象,可他仍然寄了出去。出版之后那编辑后悔了一辈子。读者们义愤填膺,不肯相信,认为那距离马丁的高妙水平太远,不是他的作品,而是那杂志拙劣的仿作,再不然就是马丁·伊登学大仲马,在成功的高峰期请熗手代庖的。但是当马丁解释说那是他写作幼年期的作品、而那家杂志得不到作品总不罢休时,读者便哈哈大笑。那杂志大吃其亏,编辑因而撤职。那悲剧再没有出单行本,虽然马丁已把预支的版税装进了腰包。

《科尔曼周刊》花了差不多三百元给马丁拍来了一封很长的电报,提出要他二十篇稿子,每篇一千元。要他由杂志支付全部费用游历全美,选择任何他乐意的题目写文章。电报的主要内容是提供假定的话题,用以表示他选择题材范围之广泛自由。唯一限制是旅行只在美国国内。马丁拍了电报去表示难以从命,并表示了歉意,电报由收方付费。

《华伦月刊》刊登的《威几威几》立即取得了成功。那书每一页的四边都留了宽阔的空白,还有精美的装饰,在度假期间很走红,像野火一样迅速销售。评论家们一致相信该书将与两个伟大的作家的两本经典著作《瓶中妖魔》和《驴皮记》并驾齐驱。

不过,读者对《欢乐的轻烟》的反应却颇为冷淡,且态度暧昧,因为那些小小说的大胆和反传统精神震撼了资产阶级的道德和偏见;但该书的法文译本随即风靡了巴黎,这时英美两国的读者才又跟了上去,销售量之大,使得马丁在销售他的第三本书时逼迫那谨慎保守的欣格垂、达恩利公司给了他两毛五分的版税,第四本书则要了足足三角。后两部书由他已经写成的全部小说编集而成。那些小说都已经连载过,或正在连载。《钟声激越》和他的恐怖小说集成了一集,另外一集则包括了《冒险》、《罐子》、《生命之酒》、《漩涡》、《扰攘的街道》和其他四个短篇小说。海瑞迪思-罗威尔公司抢走了他的全部论文,马克西米连公司得到了他的《海上抒情诗》和《爱情组诗》,后者还在《女土家庭伴侣》上连载,获得了极优厚的稿酬。

马丁处理完了所有的文稿,长吁了一口气,他如释重负。干草打墙的堡垒和铜皮裹的白色大帆船距离他已经很近了。是的,他无论如何已经明白了布里森登所坚持争辩的道理:有价值的东西进不了杂志。但他的成功却又证明了布里森登的错误。不过说到底他又隐约觉得市里森登也未必错。以书本形式出版的《太阳的耻辱》对他的成功所起的作用要比其他作品大得多,其他作品的作用其实很次要,它们都曾四处碰壁,多次被杂志所拒绝和抛弃。《太阳的耻辱》的出版引起了一场争论,一场于他有利的山崩地裂。没有《太阳的耻辱》就没有山崩地裂。没有《太阳的耻辱》轰动性的畅销,也就没有随后而来的其他的山崩地裂。欣格垂、达恩利公司便是这奇迹的明证。因为担心不好销售,他们第一版只印了一千五百本——他们都是经验丰富的出版人。可随之而来的成功却使他们比谁都更加目瞪口呆。对他们说来那确实是个奇迹,而且他们的奇迹感一直没有消失,他们给他的每一封信都表示对那神秘的初次成功肃然起敬。他们没有设法去解释,事情就是那样发生了,跟他们一切的经验恰好相反。

马丁这样一推理,便怀疑起自己这鼎鼎大名之获得是否应当了。其实,买了他的书,把金币倒进他的钱口袋的就是资产阶级。从他对资产阶级那一点点理解看来,他总是纳闷:他们怎么可能欣赏或是理解他的东西?对于向他欢呼、买他的书的千千万万读者说来,他内在的美与力是没有意义的。那只是他们一时心血来潮而已;他不过是个冒险家,趁着诸神打盹的时候冲上了帕纳萨斯山而已。千千万万的读者读他的书,却带着畜生般的理解向他欢呼,他们跟外向布里森登的《蜉蝣》并把它扯成碎片的是同样的群氓——群狼,只不过他们没有向他露出獠牙,而是向他讨好。獠牙或讨好都出于偶然。有一件事他确信无疑:《蜉蝣》比他的一切的作品都不知道高明多少倍,比他心里所有的一切都不知道高明多少倍。它是一首能彪炳若干世纪的佳作。那么那群氓对他的礼赞也就只能令人遗憾了,因为把布里森登的《蜉蝣》拱到了烂泥里的也是那同样的群氓。他沉重地也满意地叹了一口气。他最后的一篇稿子都已经卖掉,他感到高兴,他马上就要跟这一切断绝关系了。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 42楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  42


One day Martin became aware that he was lonely. He was healthy and strong, and had nothing to do. The cessation from writing and studying, the death of Brissenden, and the estrangement from Ruth had made a big hole in his life; and his life refused to be pinned down to good living in cafes and the smoking of Egyptian cigarettes. It was true the South Seas were calling to him, but he had a feeling that the game was not yet played out in the United States. Two books were soon to be published, and he had more books that might find publication. Money could be made out of them, and he would wait and take a sackful of it into the South Seas. He knew a valley and a bay in the Marquesas that he could buy for a thousand Chili dollars. The valley ran from the horseshoe, land- locked bay to the tops of the dizzy, cloud-capped peaks and contained perhaps ten thousand acres. It was filled with tropical fruits, wild chickens, and wild pigs, with an occasional herd of wild cattle, while high up among the peaks were herds of wild goats harried by packs of wild dogs. The whole place was wild. Not a human lived in it. And he could buy it and the bay for a thousand Chili dollars.




The bay, as he remembered it, was magnificent, with water deep enough to accommodate the largest vessel afloat, and so safe that the South Pacific Directory recommended it to the best careening place for ships for hundreds of miles around. He would buy a schooner - one of those yacht-like, coppered crafts that sailed like witches - and go trading copra and pearling among the islands. He would make the valley and the bay his headquarters. He would build a patriarchal grass house like Tati's, and have it and the valley and the schooner filled with dark-skinned servitors. He would entertain there the factor of Taiohae, captains of wandering traders, and all the best of the South Pacific riffraff. He would keep open house and entertain like a prince. And he would forget the books he had opened and the world that had proved an illusion.




To do all this he must wait in California to fill the sack with money. Already it was beginning to flow in. If one of the books made a strike, it might enable him to sell the whole heap of manuscripts. Also he could collect the stories and the poems into books, and make sure of the valley and the bay and the schooner. He would never write again. Upon that he was resolved. But in the meantime, awaiting the publication of the books, he must do something more than live dazed and stupid in the sort of uncaring trance into which he had fallen.




He noted, one Sunday morning, that the Bricklayers' Picnic took place that day at Shell Mound Park, and to Shell Mound Park he went. He had been to the working-class picnics too often in his earlier life not to know what they were like, and as he entered the park he experienced a recrudescence of all the old sensations. After all, they were his kind, these working people. He had been born among them, he had lived among them, and though he had strayed for a time, it was well to come back among them.




"If it ain't Mart!" he heard some one say, and the next moment a hearty hand was on his shoulder. "Where you ben all the time? Off to sea? Come on an' have a drink."




It was the old crowd in which he found himself - the old crowd, with here and there a gap, and here and there a new face. The fellows were not bricklayers, but, as in the old days, they attended all Sunday picnics for the dancing, and the fighting, and the fun. Martin drank with them, and began to feel really human once more. He was a fool to have ever left them, he thought; and he was very certain that his sum of happiness would have been greater had he remained with them and let alone the books and the people who sat in the high places. Yet the beer seemed not so good as of yore. It didn't taste as it used to taste. Brissenden had spoiled him for steam beer, he concluded, and wondered if, after all, the books had spoiled him for companionship with these friends of his youth. He resolved that he would not be so spoiled, and he went on to the dancing pavilion. Jimmy, the plumber, he met there, in the company of a tall, blond girl who promptly forsook him for Martin.




"Gee, it's like old times," Jimmy explained to the gang that gave him the laugh as Martin and the blonde whirled away in a waltz. "An' I don't give a rap. I'm too damned glad to see 'm back. Watch 'm waltz, eh? It's like silk. Who'd blame any girl?"




But Martin restored the blonde to Jimmy, and the three of them, with half a dozen friends, watched the revolving couples and laughed and joked with one another. Everybody was glad to see Martin back. No book of his been published; he carried no fictitious value in their eyes. They liked him for himself. He felt like a prince returned from excile, and his lonely heart burgeoned in the geniality in which it bathed. He made a mad day of it, and was at his best. Also, he had money in his pockets, and, as in the old days when he returned from sea with a pay-day, he made the money fly.




Once, on the dancing-floor, he saw Lizzie Connolly go by in the arms of a young workingman; and, later, when he made the round of the pavilion, he came upon her sitting by a refreshment table. Surprise and greetings over, he led her away into the grounds, where they could talk without shouting down the music. From the instant he spoke to her, she was his. He knew it. She showed it in the proud humility of her eyes, in every caressing movement of her proudly carried body, and in the way she hung upon his speech. She was not the young girl as he had known her. She was a woman, now, and Martin noted that her wild, defiant beauty had improved, losing none of its wildness, while the defiance and the fire seemed more in control. "A beauty, a perfect beauty," he murmured admiringly under his breath. And he knew she was his, that all he had to do was to say "Come," and she would go with him over the world wherever he led.




Even as the thought flashed through his brain he received a heavy blow on the side of his head that nearly knocked him down. It was a man's fist, directed by a man so angry and in such haste that the fist had missed the jaw for which it was aimed. Martin turned as he staggered, and saw the fist coming at him in a wild swing. Quite as a matter of course he ducked, and the fist flew harmlessly past, pivoting the man who had driven it. Martin hooked with his left, landing on the pivoting man with the weight of his body behind the blow. The man went to the ground sidewise, leaped to his feet, and made a mad rush. Martin saw his passion-distorted face and wondered what could be the cause of the fellow's anger. But while he wondered, he shot in a straight left, the weight of his body behind the blow. The man went over backward and fell in a crumpled heap. Jimmy and others of the gang were running toward them.




Martin was thrilling all over. This was the old days with a vengeance, with their dancing, and their fighting, and their fun. While he kept a wary eye on his antagonist, he glanced at Lizzie. Usually the girls screamed when the fellows got to scrapping, but she had not screamed. She was looking on with bated breath, leaning slightly forward, so keen was her interest, one hand pressed to her breast, her cheek flushed, and in her eyes a great and amazed admiration.




The man had gained his feet and was struggling to escape the restraining arms that were laid on him.




"She was waitin' for me to come back!" he was proclaiming to all and sundry. "She was waitin' for me to come back, an' then that fresh guy comes buttin' in. Let go o' me, I tell yeh. I'm goin' to fix 'm."




"What's eatin' yer?" Jimmy was demanding, as he helped hold the young fellow back. "That guy's Mart Eden. He's nifty with his mits, lemme tell you that, an' he'll eat you alive if you monkey with 'm."




"He can't steal her on me that way," the other interjected.




"He licked the Flyin' Dutchman, an' you know HIM," Jimmy went on expostulating. "An' he did it in five rounds. You couldn't last a minute against him. See?"




This information seemed to have a mollifying effect, and the irate young man favored Martin with a measuring stare.




"He don't look it," he sneered; but the sneer was without passion.




"That's what the Flyin' Dutchman thought," Jimmy assured him. "Come on, now, let's get outa this. There's lots of other girls. Come on."




The young fellow allowed himself to be led away toward the pavilion, and the gang followed after him.




"Who is he?" Martin asked Lizzie. "And what's it all about, anyway?"




Already the zest of combat, which of old had been so keen and lasting, had died down, and he discovered that he was self- analytical, too much so to live, single heart and single hand, so primitive an existence.




Lizzie tossed her head.




"Oh, he's nobody," she said. "He's just ben keepin' company with me."




"I had to, you see," she explained after a pause. "I was gettin' pretty lonesome. But I never forgot." Her voice sank lower, and she looked straight before her. "I'd throw 'm down for you any time."




Martin looking at her averted face, knowing that all he had to do was to reach out his hand and pluck her, fell to pondering whether, after all, there was any real worth in refined, grammatical English, and, so, forgot to reply to her.




"You put it all over him," she said tentatively, with a laugh.




"He's a husky young fellow, though," he admitted generously. "If they hadn't taken him away, he might have given me my hands full."




"Who was that lady friend I seen you with that night?" she asked abruptly.




"Oh, just a lady friend," was his answer.




"It was a long time ago," she murmured contemplatively. "It seems like a thousand years."




But Martin went no further into the matter. He led the conversation off into other channels. They had lunch in the restaurant, where he ordered wine and expensive delicacies and afterward he danced with her and with no one but her, till she was tired. He was a good dancer, and she whirled around and around with him in a heaven of delight, her head against his shoulder, wishing that it could last forever. Later in the afternoon they strayed off among the trees, where, in the good old fashion, she sat down while he sprawled on his back, his head in her lap. He lay and dozed, while she fondled his hair, looked down on his closed eyes, and loved him without reserve. Looking up suddenly, he read the tender advertisement in her face. Her eyes fluttered down, then they opened and looked into his with soft defiance.




"I've kept straight all these years," she said, her voice so low that it was almost a whisper.




In his heart Martin knew that it was the miraculous truth. And at his heart pleaded a great temptation. It was in his power to make her happy. Denied happiness himself, why should he deny happiness to her? He could marry her and take her down with him to dwell in the grass-walled castle in the Marquesas. The desire to do it was strong, but stronger still was the imperative command of his nature not to do it. In spite of himself he was still faithful to Love. The old days of license and easy living were gone. He could not bring them back, nor could he go back to them. He was changed - how changed he had not realized until now.




"I am not a marrying man, Lizzie," he said lightly.




The hand caressing his hair paused perceptibly, then went on with the same gentle stroke. He noticed her face harden, but it was with the hardness of resolution, for still the soft color was in her cheeks and she was all glowing and melting.




"I did not mean that - " she began, then faltered. "Or anyway I don't care."




"I don't care," she repeated. "I'm proud to be your friend. I'd do anything for you. I'm made that way, I guess."




Martin sat up. He took her hand in his. He did it deliberately, with warmth but without passion; and such warmth chilled her.




"Don't let's talk about it," she said.




"You are a great and noble woman," he said. "And it is I who should be proud to know you. And I am, I am. You are a ray of light to me in a very dark world, and I've got to be straight with you, just as straight as you have been."




"I don't care whether you're straight with me or not. You could do anything with me. You could throw me in the dirt an' walk on me. An' you're the only man in the world that can," she added with a defiant flash. "I ain't taken care of myself ever since I was a kid for nothin'."




"And it's just because of that that I'm not going to," he said gently. "You are so big and generous that you challenge me to equal generousness. I'm not marrying, and I'm not - well, loving without marrying, though I've done my share of that in the past. I'm sorry I came here to-day and met you. But it can't be helped now, and I never expected it would turn out this way."




"But look here, Lizzie. I can't begin to tell you how much I like you. I do more than like you. I admire and respect you. You are magnificent, and you are magnificently good. But what's the use of words? Yet there's something I'd like to do. You've had a hard life; let me make it easy for you." (A joyous light welled into her eyes, then faded out again.) "I'm pretty sure of getting hold of some money soon - lots of it."




In that moment he abandoned the idea of the valley and the bay, the grass-walled castle and the trim, white schooner. After all, what did it matter? He could go away, as he had done so often, before the mast, on any ship bound anywhere.




"I'd like to turn it over to you. There must be something you want - to go to school or business college. You might like to study and be a stenographer. I could fix it for you. Or maybe your father and mother are living - I could set them up in a grocery store or something. Anything you want, just name it, and I can fix it for you."




She made no reply, but sat, gazing straight before her, dry-eyed and motionless, but with an ache in the throat which Martin divined so strongly that it made his own throat ache. He regretted that he had spoken. It seemed so tawdry what he had offered her - mere money - compared with what she offered him. He offered her an extraneous thing with which he could part without a pang, while she offered him herself, along with disgrace and shame, and sin, and all her hopes of heaven.




"Don't let's talk about it," she said with a catch in her voice that she changed to a cough. She stood up. "Come on, let's go home. I'm all tired out."




The day was done, and the merrymakers had nearly all departed. But as Martin and Lizzie emerged from the trees they found the gang waiting for them. Martin knew immediately the meaning of it. Trouble was brewing. The gang was his body-guard. They passed out through the gates of the park with, straggling in the rear, a second gang, the friends that Lizzie's young man had collected to avenge the loss of his lady. Several constables and special police officers, anticipating trouble, trailed along to prevent it, and herded the two gangs separately aboard the train for San Francisco. Martin told Jimmy that he would get off at Sixteenth Street Station and catch the electric car into Oakland. Lizzie was very quiet and without interest in what was impending. The train pulled in to Sixteenth Street Station, and the waiting electric car could be seen, the conductor of which was impatiently clanging the gong.




"There she is," Jimmy counselled. "Make a run for it, an' we'll hold 'em back. Now you go! Hit her up!"




The hostile gang was temporarily disconcerted by the manoeuvre, then it dashed from the train in pursuit. The staid and sober Oakland folk who sat upon the car scarcely noted the young fellow and the girl who ran for it and found a seat in front on the outside. They did not connect the couple with Jimmy, who sprang on the steps, crying to the motorman:-




"Slam on the juice, old man, and beat it outa here!"




The next moment Jimmy whirled about, and the passengers saw him land his fist on the face of a running man who was trying to board the car. But fists were landing on faces the whole length of the car. Thus, Jimmy and his gang, strung out on the long, lower steps, met the attacking gang. The car started with a great clanging of its gong, and, as Jimmy's gang drove off the last assailants, they, too, jumped off to finish the job. The car dashed on, leaving the flurry of combat far behind, and its dumfounded passengers never dreamed that the quiet young man and the pretty working-girl sitting in the corner on the outside seat had been the cause of the row.




Martin had enjoyed the fight, with a recrudescence of the old fighting thrills. But they quickly died away, and he was oppressed by a great sadness. He felt very old - centuries older than those careless, care-free young companions of his others days. He had travelled far, too far to go back. Their mode of life, which had once been his, was now distasteful to him. He was disappointed in it all. He had developed into an alien. As the steam beer had tasted raw, so their companionship seemed raw to him. He was too far removed. Too many thousands of opened books yawned between them and him. He had exiled himself. He had travelled in the vast realm of intellect until he could no longer return home. On the other hand, he was human, and his gregarious need for companionship remained unsatisfied. He had found no new home. As the gang could not understand him, as his own family could not understand him, as the bourgeoisie could not understand him, so this girl beside him, whom he honored high, could not understand him nor the honor he paid her. His sadness was not untouched with bitterness as he thought it over.




"Make it up with him," he advised Lizzie, at parting, as they stood in front of the workingman's shack in which she lived, near Sixth and Market. He referred to the young fellow whose place he had usurped that day.




"I can't - now," she said.




"Oh, go on," he said jovially. "All you have to do is whistle and he'll come running."




"I didn't mean that," she said simply.




And he knew what she had meant.




She leaned toward him as he was about to say good night. But she leaned not imperatively, not seductively, but wistfully and humbly. He was touched to the heart. His large tolerance rose up in him. He put his arms around her, and kissed her, and knew that upon his own lips rested as true a kiss as man ever received.




"My God!" she sobbed. "I could die for you. I could die for you."




She tore herself from him suddenly and ran up the steps. He felt a quick moisture in his eyes.




"Martin Eden," he communed. "You're not a brute, and you're a damn poor Nietzscheman. You'd marry her if you could and fill her quivering heart full with happiness. But you can't, you can't. And it's a damn shame."




"'A poor old tramp explains his poor old ulcers,'" he muttered, remembering his Henly. "'Life is, I think, a blunder and a shame.' It is - a blunder and a shame."
那天,马丁意识到了自己的寂寞。他身强力壮,却无所事事。写作和学习停止了,布里森登死了,露丝跟他吹了,他的生命被戳了个洞而他又不肯把生活固定在悠悠闲闲坐咖啡馆抽埃及烟的模式上。不错,南海在召唤他,但是他有一种感觉:美国的游戏还没有做完。他有两本书快要出版,还有更多的书就会找到出版的机会,还有钱可赚,他想等一等,然后带一大口袋金币到南海去。他知道玛奎撤思群岛有一个峡谷和一道海湾,用一千智利元就可以买到。那道峡谷从被陆地包围的马蹄铁形海湾开始直到白云缘绕的令人晕眩的峰顶,约有一万英亩,满是热带水果、野鸡、野猪,偶然还会出现野牛群。在山巅上还有受到一群群野狗骚扰的成群的野羊。那儿整个是渺无人烟的荒野,而他用一千智利元就能买到。

他记得那海湾,它风景壮丽,波阔水深,连最大的船只都可以非常安全地出入。《南太平洋指南》把它推荐为周围几百英里之内最好的船舶检修处。他打算买一艘大帆船——像游艇的、铜皮包裹的、驾驶起来像有巫术指挥的大帆船,用它在南海诸岛之间做椰子干生意,也采珍珠。他要把海湾和峡谷当作大本营,要修建一幢塔提家的那种草屋,让那草屋、峡谷和大帆船里满是皮肤黝黑的仆人。他要在那儿宴请泰欣黑的商务代办、往来的商船船长和南太平洋流浪汉中的头面人物。他要大宴宾客,来者不拒,像王公贵族一样。他要忘掉自己读过的书,忘掉书里那个其实是虚幻的世界。

为了办到这一切,他必须在加利福尼亚呆下去,让口袋里塞满了钱——钱已经开始汩汩地流来了。只要一本书走了红,他就可能卖掉他全部作品的手稿。他还可以把小说和诗歌编成集子出版,保证把那峡谷、海湾和大帆船买到手。他决不再写东西了,这是早已决定了的。但是在等着他的书出版的时候,他总得有点事做,不能像现在这样浑浑噩噩呆头呆脑,什么都不在乎地过日子。

有个星期天早上他听说砌砖工野餐会那天要在贝陵公园举行,就到那儿去了。他早年参加过多次工人阶级的野餐会,当然知道情况。他一走进公园,往日的快乐辛酸便重新袭来。这些劳动人民毕竟是他的同行,他是在他们之间出生和长大的,虽然曾和他们分手,但毕竟已回到了他们之中。

“这不是马丁吗?”他听见有人说,接着就有一只亲切的手落到他肩上,“你这么久到哪儿去了?出海了么?来,喝一杯。”

他发现自己又回到老朋友之间。还是那群老朋友,只是少了几个旧面孔,多了几张新面孔。有些人并不是砌砖工,但是跟以前一样来参加星期天野餐,来跳舞,打架,寻开心。马丁跟他们一起喝酒,重新觉得像个现实世界的人了。他觉得自己真傻,当初怎么会离开了他们呢?他非常肯定如果他没有去读书,没有去和那些高层人物厮混,而是一直跟这些人在一起,他会要幸福得多。但是,那啤酒的味道却似乎变了,没有从前那么可口了。他的结论是:布里森登败坏了他对高泡沫啤酒的胃口。他又在猜想,看来书本已经破坏了他跟这些少时的朋友之间的友谊。他决心不那么娇气,便到舞厅去跳舞。他在那儿遇见了水暖工吉米跟一个金头发白皮肤的高挑个儿的姑娘在一起。那姑娘一见马丁便丢下吉米,来和他跳。

“喷喷,还是跟从前一样,”马丁和那姑娘一圈一圈跳起华尔兹来,大家对吉米一笑,吉米解释道,“我才他妈妈的不在乎呢,马丁回来了,我高兴得要命。你看他跳华尔兹,滑溜溜的,像绸缎一样。难怪姑娘们喜欢他。”

但是马丁却把那金发姑娘还给了吉米。三个人便和六七个朋友站在一起,看着一对对的舞伴打旋子,彼此开着玩笑,快活着。大家看见马丁回来都很高兴。在他们眼里他并没有出版什么书,身上也没有什么虚构的价值,大家喜欢他,都只因为他本人。他觉得自己像个流放归来的王子,寂寞的心沐浴在真情实爱之间,又含苞欲放了。他狂欢极乐,表现得出类拔萃。而且,他口袋里有钱,恣意地挥霍着,就像当年出海归来刚发了工资一样。

有一回他在舞池里见到了丽齐·康诺利,一个工人正搂着她从他身边舞过;后来他在舞场里跳舞,又见她坐在一张小吃桌边。一番惊讶与招呼过去,他便领她去到草场——在那儿他们可以不必用高声谈话来压倒音乐。他刚一开始说话,她就已经成了他的人,这他很明白。她那又自卑又傲慢的眼神,她那得意扬扬的身姿的柔媚动作,她听他说话时那专注的神情,在在流露出了这一点。她再也不是他以前所认识的那个姑娘了,现在她已成了个女人。马丁注意到,她那大胆而野性的美有了进步。野性如故,但那大胆和火辣却醇和了些。“美人,绝色的美人,”马丁倾倒了,对自己低声喃喃地说。而他却明白地属于他,他只需要说一声“来”,她就会乖乖地跟随他走到天涯海角。

这些念头刚闪过,他的脑袋右面就挨了重重一击,几乎被打倒在地。那是一个男人的拳头,打得太愤怒,也太急,原想打他的腮帮,却打偏了。马丁一个趔趄,转过身子,见那拳头又狠狠飞来,便顺势一弯腰,那一拳落了空,那人身子却旋了过去,马丁左手一个勾拳,落到正旋转的人身上,拳头加上旋转力使那人侧着身子倒到了地上。那人翻身跳起,又疯狂地扑了上来。马丁看到了他那气急败坏的脸色,心里纳闷,是什么事让他这么大发脾气?可同时左手又挥出了一个直拳,全身力气都压了上去。那人往后倒地,翻了个个儿,瘫倒在那里。人群中的吉米和其他人急忙向他们跑来。

马丁全身激动。往昔的日子又回来了:寻仇结恨、跳舞、打架。说说笑笑。他一面拿眼睛盯着对手,一面看了丽齐一眼。平时一打架,女人们都会尖叫,可是丽齐没有叫,她只是身子微微前倾,大气不出地专心看着,一只手压在胸前,面色酡红,眼里放着惊讶和崇拜的光。

那人已经站起身来,挣扎着要摔脱拽住他的几条胳臂。

“她是在等我回来!”他对大家解释道,“她在等我回来,可这个新到的家伙却来插上一脚。放了我,告诉你们,我得教训他一顿。”

“你凭什么东西生气?”吉米在帮着拉架,问道,“这人是马丁·伊登,拳头厉害着呢,告诉你吧,你跟他闹别扭,他能把你活活吃了。”

“我不能让他就那么把她偷走,”对方插嘴道。

“他连荷兰飞人也吃掉了的,你总认识荷兰飞人吧,”吉米继续劝解,“他五个回合就把荷兰飞人打趴下了。你跟他干不了一分钟的,懂吗?”

这番劝告起了缓解的作用,那气冲冲的年轻人瞪大眼睛打量了马丁一会儿。

“他看起来可不像,”他冷笑了,但笑得没多大力气。

“当初荷兰飞人也是那么想的,”吉米向他保证,“好了,咱们别再提这事了。姑娘多的是,算了吧。”

那青年接受了劝告,往舞场去了,一群人跟着他。

“他是谁?”马丁问丽齐,“他这么闹是什么意思,究竟?”

毕竟当年对打架的那种强烈的、执着的狂热已经过去,他发现自己太爱做自我分析,他是再也无法像那样心地单纯、独来独往、原始野蛮地活下去了。

丽齐脑袋一甩。

“啊,他谁也不是,”她说,“不过陪陪我罢了。”

“我得有人陪着,你看,”她停了一会儿,说道,“我越来越感到寂寞,不过我从来没有忘记你。”她低下声音,眼睛直勾勾望着前面。“为了你我随时可以把他扔掉。”

马丁望着她那扭到一边的头。他明白他只需要一伸手,就可以把她揽过来。但他却沉思了:他心里只在怀疑文雅的合乎语法的英语究竟有什么真正的价值,没有答腔。

“你把他打了个落花流水,”她笑了笑,试探着说。

“不过他倒也是个结实的小伙子,”他坦率地承认,“要不是叫别人劝走了,他也能给我不小的麻烦呢。”

“那天晚上我看见你和一个女的在一起,那是谁?”她突然问道。

“啊,一个女朋友,”他答道。

“那已是很久很久以前了,”她沉思着说,“好像有一千年了呢。”

但是马丁没有接那个话碴,却把谈话引上了别的渠道。他们在餐馆吃了午饭。他叫来了酒和昂贵精美的食品,吃过便和她跳舞。他再不跟别人跳,只跟她跳,直跳到她筋疲力尽为止。他跳得很好,她跟他一圈一圈地跳着,感到天堂般地幸福。她的头偎在他肩上,恨不得无穷无尽地跳下去。下午他们钻进了树林。她在树林里坐了下来,让他按古老的良好习俗躺着,把头枕在她膝头上,摊开了四肢。他躺在那儿打盹,她用手抚摩着他的头发,低头看他闭上的眼睛,尽情地抚爱着他。他突然睁开眼一看,看出了她满脸的柔情。她的目光往下一闪,张了开来,带着不顾一切的温情直望着他的眼睛。

“我这几年一直都规规矩矩,”她说,声音很低,几乎像说悄悄话。

马丁从心里知道那是一个奇迹般的事实。一种巨大的诱惑从他心里升起。他是有能力让她幸福的。他自己虽得不到幸福,可他为什么不能让她幸福呢?他可以和她结婚,然后带她到玛奎撒思那干草打墙的堡垒去住。这个愿望很强,但更强的是他那不容分说地否定那愿望的天性。尽管他并不愿意,他仍然忠实于爱情。往日那种放纵轻狂的日子已经过去。他变了——直到现在他才知道自己的变化有多大。

“我不是结婚过日子的人,丽齐,”他淡淡地说。

那抚摩着他头发的手明显地停止了活动,然后又温柔地抚摩起来。他注意到她的脸色僵硬了,却是下定了决心的僵硬,因为她面颊上还有温柔的红晕,仍然陶醉,仍然容光焕发。

“我不是那意思,”她刚开口又犹豫了,“或者说我一向就不在乎。

“我不在乎,”她重复说,“我只要能做你的朋友,就已感到骄傲。为了你我什么事都可以做。我看这就是我天生的命。”

马丁坐起身子,抓住了她的手,勉强地,有温暖但没有热情。而那温暖却叫她心凉了。

“咱俩别谈这个了吧,”她说。

“你是个高贵的女人,很了不起,”他说,“应该是我为认识你而骄傲,而我确实感到骄傲,很骄傲。你是我漆黑一团的世界里的一线光明。我对你应当规规矩矩,就像你一向规规矩矩一样。”

“你对我规不规矩我不在乎,你可以愿对我怎么样就怎么样,在这个世界上只有你才可以这样做。你可以把我甩到地上,再踩在我身上。在这个世界上我只准你这么做,”她的眼光又问出什么都不在乎的光芒。“我从小就注意保护自己,可没有白保护。”

“正因为你如此我才不能轻率,”他温情脉脉地说,“你是个好姑娘,心地宽厚,也叫我心地宽厚。我不打算结婚,因此不打算光恋爱不结婚,虽然以前那么做过。我很抱歉今天到这里来遇见了你,可现在已经无可奈何。我从没有想到会出现这样的局面。

“可是,听我说,丽齐,我不能告诉你我开始时有多喜欢你,我不仅是喜欢,而且是佩服你,尊敬你。你非常出色,而且善良得非常出色。可是光嘴上说有什么用?不过,我还想做一件事。你生浑一直困难,我想让你过得好一些。(此时丽齐眼里闪出了欢乐的光彩,却随即暗淡了,)我有把握很快就会得到一笔钱——很多。”

在那一瞬间他已放弃了峡谷、海湾、草墙堡垒和那漂亮的白色大帆船。说到底那些东西又算得了什么?他还可以像以前一贯那样,去当水手,无论上什么船、上什么地方都行。

“我想把那钱送给你。你总想得到点什么东西吧——上中学呀,上商业学院呀,可能想学学速记吧,我都可以为你安排。也许你的父母还健在——我可以让他们开个杂货店什么的。一切都可以,你只要说出来我都可以给你办到。”

她坐着,默不作声,眼睛直勾勾地望着前面,没有眼泪,一动不动,喉头却疼痛起来,那便咽的声音能够听见,马丁猜到了,动了感情,喉头也不禁疼痛起来。他懊悔说了刚才的话。比起她向他奉献的东西,他的奉献好像太粗俗——不过是金钱罢了,那本是可以随便放弃而不关痛痒的身外之物,而她向他奉献的却是她自己,随之而来便是耻辱、难堪。罪孽,甚至是进人天堂的希望。

“不谈了吧,”她说着哽咽了,装作是咳嗽,站起身来。“算了,我们回家去吧,我太疲倦了。”

一天已经过去,寻欢作乐的人们差不多全走光了。但是马丁和丽齐走出林子时却发现有群人还在等着,马丁立即明白了那意思:快要出乱子了。那群人是他的保缥。他们一起从公园大门走了出去,而另一群人却三三两两跟在后面,那是丽齐的小伙子纠合来报复夺女友之恨的。几个警察和特别警官怕出乱子,也跟在后面,准备随时制止。然后两拨人便分别上了去旧金山的火车。马丁告诉吉米他要在十六路站下车,再转去奥克兰的电车。丽齐非常安静,对逼人而来的骚乱漠不关心。火车进了十六路站,等在那儿的电车已经在望;售票员已在不耐烦地敲着锣。

“电车已经到了,”吉米给他出主意,“冲过去,我们挡住他们。现在就走!冲上车去!”

寻仇的人群见了这局面一时不知如何是好,紧接着便下了火车冲了上来。坐在车上的清醒平静的奥克兰乘客并没有注意到有那么个小伙子和一个姑娘跑来赶车,而且在靠外的一面找到了座位;也没有把他们跟吉米联系起来,吉米已跳上踏板,向驾驶员叫着:——

“合电铡,老兄,开出去!”

紧接着吉米便猛地一旋,乘客们看见他一拳打在一个要想跳上车来的人脸上,但是沿着整个电车的一侧已有许多拳头打在了许多脸上。吉米和他的那伙人沿着长长的台阶排成了一排,迎击了进攻的人。电车在一声响亮的锣声中开动了。吉米的人赶走了最后的袭击者,又跳下车去结束战斗。电车冲向前去,把一片混乱的大打出手丢到了远处。目瞪口呆的乘客们做梦也没有想到坐在靠外的角落里座位上的那个文静的青年和漂亮的女工会是这番骚乱的原因。

马丁刚才还很欣赏这一番打斗,往日那斗殴的刺激又回到了他胸中。不过那感觉迅速消失,一种巨大的悲凉压上了他心头。他觉得自己非常老迈了——比这批无忧无虑逍遥自在的往日的游伴老了许多个世纪。他已经走得太远,再也回来不了。他们这种生活方式当年也是他的生活方式,可现在它却叫他兴味素然。他对这一切都感到失望,他已经成了个局外人。现在高泡沫啤酒已经淡而无昧,跟他们的友谊也一样淡而无味了。他和他们距离太远,在他和他们之间成千上万翻开的书本形成了巨大的鸿沟。他把自己流放了出去。他在辽阔的智慧的王国里漫游得太远,已经无法返回。可另一方面他却还是人,他群居的天性和对友谊的需求仍然渴望满足。他并没有得到新的归宿,他那帮朋友不可能了解他,他的家人不可能了解他,资产阶级不可能了解他,就是他身边这个他很尊重的姑娘也不可能了解他。她也不可能了解他对她的尊重。他思前想后,心里的悲凉之中并非没有糅合进了辛酸。

“跟他和好吧,”分手时他劝丽齐,这时他俩已来到了六号路和市场街附近她所居住的工人棚屋前。他指的是那被他侵犯了地位的青年。

“我做不到——现在做不到了,”她说。

“啊,做到吧,”他欢欢喜喜地说,“你只要吹一声口哨他就会赶快跑来的。”

“我不是那意思,”她简单地说。

他明白她的意思了。

他正打算道声晚安,她却向他偎依过来。偎依得并不迫切,也不挑逗,却是一往情深而卑躬屈节。他从心底里受到了感动。一种宽厚的容忍之情从他心底油然而生,他伸出双臂拥抱了她,吻了她,他明白那压在他唇上的吻是人类所能得到的最真诚的吻。

“我的上帝呀!”她抽泣起来,“我可以为你死去,为你死去。”

她突然从他身边挣扎开了,跑上了台阶。他限里立即感到一阵潮润。

“马丁·伊登,”他思考着,“你并不是野兽,可你是个他妈的可怜的尼采信徒。你应该娶了她的,你应该让她那颤栗的心充满幸福。可你办不到,办不到。真他妈的丢脸。”

“‘可怜的老流浪汉解释他那可怜的老溃疡说,’”他想起了他的诗人亨雷,喃喃地说道,“‘在我看来,生命是一个大错误,一种耻辱。’确实——一个大错误,一种耻辱。”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  41


He slept heavily all night, and did not stir until aroused by the postman on his morning round. Martin felt tired and passive, and went through his letters aimlessly. One thin envelope, from a robber magazine, contained for twenty-two dollars. He had been dunning for it for a year and a half. He noted its amount apathetically. The old-time thrill at receiving a publisher's check was gone. Unlike his earlier checks, this one was not pregnant with promise of great things to come. To him it was a check for twenty-two dollars, that was all, and it would buy him something to eat.




Another check was in the same mail, sent from a New York weekly in payment for some humorous verse which had been accepted months before. It was for ten dollars. An idea came to him, which he calmly considered. He did not know what he was going to do, and he felt in no hurry to do anything. In the meantime he must live. Also he owed numerous debts. Would it not be a paying investment to put stamps on the huge pile of manuscripts under the table and start them on their travels again? One or two of them might be accepted. That would help him to live. He decided on the investment, and, after he had cashed the checks at the bank down in Oakland, he bought ten dollars' worth of postage stamps. The thought of going home to cook breakfast in his stuffy little room was repulsive to him. For the first time he refused to consider his debts. He knew that in his room he could manufacture a substantial breakfast at a cost of from fifteen to twenty cents. But, instead, he went into the Forum Cafe and ordered a breakfast that cost two dollars. He tipped the waiter a quarter, and spent fifty cents for a package of Egyptian cigarettes. It was the first time he had smoked since Ruth had asked him to stop. But he could see now no reason why he should not, and besides, he wanted to smoke. And what did the money matter? For five cents he could have bought a package of Durham and brown papers and rolled forty cigarettes - but what of it? Money had no meaning to him now except what it would immediately buy. He was chartless and rudderless, and he had no port to make, while drifting involved the least living, and it was living that hurt.




The days slipped along, and he slept eight hours regularly every night. Though now, while waiting for more checks, he ate in the Japanese restaurants where meals were served for ten cents, his wasted body filled out, as did the hollows in his cheeks. He no longer abused himself with short sleep, overwork, and overstudy. He wrote nothing, and the books were closed. He walked much, out in the hills, and loafed long hours in the quiet parks. He had no friends nor acquaintances, nor did he make any. He had no inclination. He was waiting for some impulse, from he knew not where, to put his stopped life into motion again. In the meantime his life remained run down, planless, and empty and idle.




Once he made a trip to San Francisco to look up the "real dirt." But at the last moment, as he stepped into the upstairs entrance, he recoiled and turned and fled through the swarming ghetto. He was frightened at the thought of hearing philosophy discussed, and he fled furtively, for fear that some one of the "real dirt" might chance along and recognize him.




Sometimes he glanced over the magazines and newspapers to see how "Ephemera" was being maltreated. It had made a hit. But what a hit! Everybody had read it, and everybody was discussing whether or not it was really poetry. The local papers had taken it up, and daily there appeared columns of learned criticisms, facetious editorials, and serious letters from subscribers. Helen Della Delmar (proclaimed with a flourish of trumpets and rolling of tomtoms to be the greatest woman poet in the United States) denied Brissenden a seat beside her on Pegasus and wrote voluminous letters to the public, proving that he was no poet.




THE PARTHENON came out in its next number patting itself on the back for the stir it had made, sneering at Sir John Value, and exploiting Brissenden's death with ruthless commercialism. A newspaper with a sworn circulation of half a million published an original and spontaneous poem by Helen Della Delmar, in which she gibed and sneered at Brissenden. Also, she was guilty of a second poem, in which she parodied him.




Martin had many times to be glad that Brissenden was dead. He had hated the crowd so, and here all that was finest and most sacred of him had been thrown to the crowd. Daily the vivisection of Beauty went on. Every nincompoop in the land rushed into free print, floating their wizened little egos into the public eye on the surge of Brissenden's greatness. Quoth one paper: "We have received a letter from a gentleman who wrote a poem just like it, only better, some time ago." Another paper, in deadly seriousness, reproving Helen Della Delmar for her parody, said: "But unquestionably Miss Delmar wrote it in a moment of badinage and not quite with the respect that one great poet should show to another and perhaps to the greatest. However, whether Miss Delmar be jealous or not of the man who invented 'Ephemera,' it is certain that she, like thousands of others, is fascinated by his work, and that the day may come when she will try to write lines like his."




Ministers began to preach sermons against "Ephemera," and one, who too stoutly stood for much of its content, was expelled for heresy. The great poem contributed to the gayety of the world. The comic verse-writers and the cartoonists took hold of it with screaming laughter, and in the personal columns of society weeklies jokes were perpetrated on it to the effect that Charley Frensham told Archie Jennings, in confidence, that five lines of "Ephemera" would drive a man to beat a cripple, and that ten lines would send him to the bottom of the river.




Martin did not laugh; nor did he grit his teeth in anger. The effect produced upon him was one of great sadness. In the crash of his whole world, with love on the pinnacle, the crash of magazinedom and the dear public was a small crash indeed. Brissenden had been wholly right in his judgment of the magazines, and he, Martin, had spent arduous and futile years in order to find it out for himself. The magazines were all Brissenden had said they were and more. Well, he was done, he solaced himself. He had hitched his wagon to a star and been landed in a pestiferous marsh. The visions of Tahiti - clean, sweet Tahiti - were coming to him more frequently. And there were the low Paumotus, and the high Marquesas; he saw himself often, now, on board trading schooners or frail little cutters, slipping out at dawn through the reef at Papeete and beginning the long beat through the pearl-atolls to Nukahiva and the Bay of Taiohae, where Tamari, he knew, would kill a pig in honor of his coming, and where Tamari's flower-garlanded daughters would seize his hands and with song and laughter garland him with flowers. The South Seas were calling, and he knew that sooner or later he would answer the call.




In the meantime he drifted, resting and recuperating after the long traverse he had made through the realm of knowledge. When THE PARTHENON check of three hundred and fifty dollars was forwarded to him, he turned it over to the local lawyer who had attended to Brissenden's affairs for his family. Martin took a receipt for the check, and at the same time gave a note for the hundred dollars Brissenden had let him have.




The time was not long when Martin ceased patronizing the Japanese restaurants. At the very moment when he had abandoned the fight, the tide turned. But it had turned too late. Without a thrill he opened a thick envelope from THE MILLENNIUM, scanned the face of a check that represented three hundred dollars, and noted that it was the payment on acceptance for "Adventure." Every debt he owed in the world, including the pawnshop, with its usurious interest, amounted to less than a hundred dollars. And when he had paid everything, and lifted the hundred-dollar note with Brissenden's lawyer, he still had over a hundred dollars in pocket. He ordered a suit of clothes from the tailor and ate his meals in the best cafes in town. He still slept in his little room at Maria's, but the sight of his new clothes caused the neighborhood children to cease from calling him "hobo" and "tramp" from the roofs of woodsheds and over back fences.




"Wiki-Wiki," his Hawaiian short story, was bought by WARREN'S MONTHLY for two hundred and fifty dollars. THE NORTHERN REVIEW took his essay, "The Cradle of Beauty," and MACKINTOSH'S MAGAZINE took "The Palmist" - the poem he had written to Marian. The editors and readers were back from their summer vacations, and manuscripts were being handled quickly. But Martin could not puzzle out what strange whim animated them to this general acceptance of the things they had persistently rejected for two years. Nothing of his had been published. He was not known anywhere outside of Oakland, and in Oakland, with the few who thought they knew him, he was notorious as a red-shirt and a socialist. So there was no explaining this sudden acceptability of his wares. It was sheer jugglery of fate.




After it had been refused by a number of magazines, he had taken Brissenden's rejected advice and started, "The Shame of the Sun" on the round of publishers. After several refusals, Singletree, Darnley & Co. accepted it, promising fall publication. When Martin asked for an advance on royalties, they wrote that such was not their custom, that books of that nature rarely paid for themselves, and that they doubted if his book would sell a thousand copies. Martin figured what the book would earn him on such a sale. Retailed at a dollar, on a royalty of fifteen per cent, it would bring him one hundred and fifty dollars. He decided that if he had it to do over again he would confine himself to fiction. "Adventure," one-fourth as long, had brought him twice as much from THE MILLENNIUM. That newspaper paragraph he had read so long ago had been true, after all. The first-class magazines did not pay on acceptance, and they paid well. Not two cents a word, but four cents a word, had THE MILLENNIUM paid him. And, furthermore, they bought good stuff, too, for were they not buying his? This last thought he accompanied with a grin.




He wrote to Singletree, Darnley & Co., offering to sell out his rights in "The Shame of the Sun" for a hundred dollars, but they did not care to take the risk. In the meantime he was not in need of money, for several of his later stories had been accepted and paid for. He actually opened a bank account, where, without a debt in the world, he had several hundred dollars to his credit. "Overdue," after having been declined by a number of magazines, came to rest at the Meredith-Lowell Company. Martin remembered the five dollars Gertrude had given him, and his resolve to return it to her a hundred times over; so he wrote for an advance on royalties of five hundred dollars. To his surprise a check for that amount, accompanied by a contract, came by return mail. He cashed the check into five-dollar gold pieces and telephoned Gertrude that he wanted to see her.




She arrived at the house panting and short of breath from the haste she had made. Apprehensive of trouble, she had stuffed the few dollars she possessed into her hand-satchel; and so sure was she that disaster had overtaken her brother, that she stumbled forward, sobbing, into his arms, at the same time thrusting the satchel mutely at him.




"I'd have come myself," he said. "But I didn't want a row with Mr. Higginbotham, and that is what would have surely happened."




"He'll be all right after a time," she assured him, while she wondered what the trouble was that Martin was in. "But you'd best get a job first an' steady down. Bernard does like to see a man at honest work. That stuff in the newspapers broke 'm all up. I never saw 'm so mad before."




"I'm not going to get a job," Martin said with a smile. "And you can tell him so from me. I don't need a job, and there's the proof of it."




He emptied the hundred gold pieces into her lap in a glinting, tinkling stream.




"You remember that fiver you gave me the time I didn't have carfare? Well, there it is, with ninety-nine brothers of different ages but all of the same size."




If Gertrude had been frightened when she arrived, she was now in a panic of fear. Her fear was such that it was certitude. She was not suspicious. She was convinced. She looked at Martin in horror, and her heavy limbs shrank under the golden stream as though it were burning her.




"It's yours," he laughed.




She burst into tears, and began to moan, "My poor boy, my poor boy!"




He was puzzled for a moment. Then he divined the cause of her agitation and handed her the Meredith-Lowell letter which had accompanied the check. She stumbled through it, pausing now and again to wipe her eyes, and when she had finished, said:-




"An' does it mean that you come by the money honestly?"




"More honestly than if I'd won it in a lottery. I earned it."




Slowly faith came back to her, and she reread the letter carefully. It took him long to explain to her the nature of the transaction which had put the money into his possession, and longer still to get her to understand that the money was really hers and that he did not need it.




"I'll put it in the bank for you," she said finally.




"You'll do nothing of the sort. It's yours, to do with as you please, and if you won't take it, I'll give it to Maria. She'll know what to do with it. I'd suggest, though, that you hire a servant and take a good long rest."




"I'm goin' to tell Bernard all about it," she announced, when she was leaving.




Martin winced, then grinned.




"Yes, do," he said. "And then, maybe, he'll invite me to dinner again."




"Yes, he will - I'm sure he will!" she exclaimed fervently, as she drew him to her and kissed and hugged him.
马丁酣睡了一夜,一动不动,直到送早班邮件的邮递员把他惊醒。他感到疲倦,没精打采,只漫无目的地翻着邮件。一家强盗杂志寄来了一个薄薄的信封,里面有一张二十二元的支票。他为这笔钱已经催讨了一年半。他注意到了那个数字,却无动于衷。以前那种发表作品收到支票时的激动已经没有了。这份支票不像以前的支票,其中再没有对远大前程的预告。在他眼里那只不过是二十二元钱的一张支票,可以买一点东西吃,如此而已。

同一批邮件里还有一张支票,是从纽约一家周刊寄来的,是一首幽默诗歌的稿酬,十块钱,几个月以前采用的。一个想法来到他心里,他心平气和地思考着。他不知道以后要做什么,也不急于做什么,但他却非活下去不可,何况他还欠了一大批债。若是把他堆积在桌子底下的那一大堆稿件全部贴上邮票,重新打发出去旅行,会不会得到什么回报呢?其中的一两篇说不定能够被采用,那就可以帮助他生活下去了。他决定作这笔投资。他到奥克兰兑现了支票,买了十块钱邮票。一想起回到那憋气的小屋去做饭吃他就气闷,于是第一次拒绝了考虑欠债的问题。他知道在屋里可以用一毛五到两毛钱做出一顿像样的早饭,但是他却进了论坛咖啡馆,叫了一份两元一客的早餐。他给了传者一个两毛五的硬币,又花了五毛钱买了一包埃及香烟。那是他在露丝要求他戒烟之后第一次抽烟,不过现在他已经找不出理由不抽了,何况他还很想抽。钱算得了什么?他用五分钱就可以买一包度浪牌烟叶和一些卷烟纸,自己卷四十支——可那又怎么样?此刻的钱,除了能够立即买到手的东西以外,对他已经毫无意义。他没有海图,没有船舵,也没有海港可去,而随波逐流意味着不用理会生活——生活只叫他痛苦。

日子一天天默默过去。他每天晚上照例睡八个小时。现在他在坐待更多支票寄来,只到日本料理去吃饭,一餐一毛钱。他消瘦的身子丰满起来了,凹陷的双颊平复了。他不再用短促的睡眠、过度的工作和刻苦的学习来折磨自己了。他什么都不写了,书本全关上了。他常常散步,长时间在山里、在平静的公园里溜达。他没有朋友,没有熟人,也不结交朋友——没有那种要求。他在等待某种冲动出现,好让他停了摆的生活重新启动。他不知道那启动力会从哪儿来;他的生活就一直那么沮丧、空虚、没有计划、无所事事。

有一次他到旧金山去了一趟,去看看那些“草芥之民”,但是在踏上楼梯口的最后一刻他退却了。他转过身子逃进了人烟稠密的犹太贫民区。他一想到听哲学讨论就头疼,他偷偷地溜走了,他生怕出现什么“草芥之民”认出他来。

他有时也读报纸和杂志,想看看《蜉蝣》遭到了什么样的虐待。那诗引起了轰动,可那是什么样的轰动呀!每个人都读了,每个人都在讨论它是否算得上真正的诗。地方报纸讨论了起来;每天都要发表一些渊博的专栏评述,吹毛求疵的社论,和订阅者们一本正经的来信。海伦·德拉·德尔玛(她是以花腔连天的喇叭和震天价响的鼓声被捧上了合众国最伟大的女诗人宝座的)拒绝在她的飞马背上给予布里森登一席之地。她给公众连篇累犊地写信,证明布里森登算不上持人。

《帕提农》在它的下一期为自己所引起的轰动而自鸣得意。它嘲弄约翰·伐流爵士,并用残酷的商业手段开发布里森登之死这个话题。一份自称发行量达到五十万份的报纸发表了海伦·德拉·德尔玛一首情不自禁的别具一格的诗。她挑布里森登的毛病,嘲笑他。然后还毫不内疚地发表了一首对布里森登的诗的讽刺性访作。

马丁曾多次庆幸布里森登已经死去。布里森登是那么仇恨群氓,而此刻他所有的最优秀最神圣的东西却被扔给了群氓,每天诗里的美都遭到宰割;这个国家的每一个蠢材都在借着布里森登的伟大所引起的热潮大写其文章,把自己枯萎渺小的身影硬塞进读者眼里。一家报纸说:“前不久我们收到一位先生寄来的信,他写了一首诗,很像布里森登,只是更加高明。”另一家报纸煞有介事地指责海伦·德拉·德尔玛不该写那首模拟诗,说:“不过德尔玛小姐写那首诗是带着嘲弄的心情,而不是带着伟大的诗人对别人——也许是最伟大的人——应有的尊重。不过,无论德尔玛小姐对创作了《蜉蝣》的人是否出于妒忌,她却肯定是被他的诗迷住了,像千百万读者一样;也许有一天她也会想写出像他那样的诗的。”

牧师们开始布道,反对《蜉蝣》,有一个牧师因为坚决维护那诗的内容,竟被以异端罪逐出了教会。那伟大的诗篇也给了人们笑料。俏皮诗和漫画作者发出尖利的笑声抓住了它,社会新闻周刊的人物专栏也拿那诗说笑话,大意是:查理·福雷山姆私下告诉阿齐·简宁斯,五行《蜉蝣》就足以让人去殴打残疾人,十行《蜉蝣》就可以让他跳河自杀。

马丁笑不出来,却也没有气得咬牙。此事在他身上的效果是无边的悲凉。他的整个世界都崩溃了,爱情在它的顶尖。和这一比,杂志王国和亲爱的读者群的崩溃的确不算得什么。布里森登对杂志世界的判断完全没有错;而他马丁却花了好多年艰苦的徒劳的努力才明白过来。杂志正是布里森登所说的样子,甚至更为严重。好了,他的歌已经唱完了,他安慰自己,他赶了自己的马车去追求一颗星星,却落进了疫病蒸腾的泥沼里。塔希提的幻觉——美妙的、一尘不染的塔希提——越来越频繁地出现在他心里。那儿有保莫图思那样的低矮的岛子,有马奎撒思那样的高峻的岛子,现在他常发现自己驾着做生意的大帆船或是脆弱的独桅快艇在黎明时分穿过帕皮提的环礁,开始远航,经过产珍珠的珊瑚礁,驶往努卡西瓦和泰欧黑,他知道塔马瑞会在那儿杀猪欢迎他,而塔马瑞的围着花环的女儿们会抓住他的手,欢笑着,唱着歌给他戴上花环。南海在召唤着他,他知道自己早晚是会响应召唤到那儿去的。

现在他过着随波逐流的生活。经历了在知识天他的长期磨难之后他休息着,恢复着健康。在《帕提农》那三百五十元寄给他之后,他把它转给了当地那位处理布里森登事务的律师,让他转给了他的家里。马丁得到了一张收到支票的收据,同时自己也写了一张他欠布里森登一百元的收据寄去。

不久以后马丁就停止上日本料理了。他放弃了战斗,却时来运转了,虽然来得太迟。他打开了一个《千年盛世》寄来的薄信封,看了看支票的三百元的票面,发现那是接受了《冒险》的报酬。他在世界上欠下的每一笔帐,包括高利贷的当铺债务,加在一起也不到一百元。他偿还了每一笔债,从布里森登的律师那儿赎回了那张借据,口袋里还剩下了一百多块钱。他在裁缝铺定做了一套衣服,在城里最好的餐厅用餐。他仍然在玛利亚家的小屋子里睡觉,但是那一身新衣服却使附近的孩子们停止了躲在柴房顶上或骑在后门栅栏上叫他“二流子”或“瘪三”了。

《华伦月刊》用二百五十块钱买了他的夏威夷短篇小说《威几威几》;《北方评论》采用了他的论文《美的摇篮》;《麦金托什杂志》采用了他为茉莉安写的诗《手相家》。编辑和读者都已经度完暑假回来,稿件的处理快了起来。但是马丁不明白他们害了什么怪病,突然一哄而上,采用起他们两年来一直拒绝的稿子来。那以前他什么东西都没有发表过;除了在奥克兰谁也不认识他,而在奥克兰认识他的人都把他看作赤色分子,社会主义者。他那些货品为什么突然有了销路,他无法解释。只能说是命运的播弄。

在他多次遭到杂志拒绝之后,他接受了过去不肯接受的布里森登的意见,开始让《太阳的耻辱》去拜访一家家的出版社。在受到几次拒绝之后,那稿子为欣格垂、达思利公司采用了,他们答应秋天出版那本书。马丁要求预支版税,对方回答他们无此成冽,像那种性质的书一般入不敷出,他们怀疑他的书是否能销到一千册。马丁便按这个标准估计了一下那书所能带给他的收入:若是一元钱一本,版税算一毛五,那么那书就能给他带来一百五十元。他决定若是再要写作他就只写小说。只有它四分之一长的《冒险》却从《千年盛世》得到了两倍的收入。他很久以前在报上读到的那一段话毕竟没有错:第一流的杂志的确是一经采用立即付酬的,而且稿酬从优。《千年盛世》给他的稿费不是每字两分,而是每字四分。而且还采用优秀的作品,这不就是么?他的作品就被采用了。这最后的念头一出现,他不禁笑了。

他给欣格垂、达恩利公司写了信,建议把他的《太阳的耻辱》以一百元卖断,可是他们不肯冒这个险。而此时他也不缺钱用,因为他晚期的几篇小说又已被采用,得到了稿酬。实际上他还开了一个银行户头,在那里他不仅不欠分文,而且有好几百元存款。《过期》在被几家杂志拒绝之后在梅瑞迪思一罗威尔公司落了脚。马丁还记得格特露给他的那五块钱和自己还她一百倍的决心。因此他写信要求预支五百元版税。出乎他意料之外,寄回了一张五百元的支票和一纸合同。他把支票全兑换成五元一个的金币,给格特露打电话,说要见她。

格特露来得匆忙,气喘吁吁地进了屋子。她担心又出了麻烦,已经把手边的几块钱塞进了提包。她一心以为她弟弟遭到了灾难,一见他便跌跌撞撞扑到他的怀里,泪流满面,一言不发把提包塞进弟弟手里。

“我本想自己去的,”他说,“但是我怕跟希金波坦先生闹得不愉快——肯定是会干起来的。”

“过些日子他就会好的,”她向他保证,同时在猜测着马丁出了什么事。“但是你最好还是找个工作,安定下来。伯纳德喜欢看见别人规规矩矩地干活。报上那些东西叫他受不了,我以前还没有见过他发那么大的脾气。”

“我不打算找工作,”马丁笑嘻嘻地说,“你可以把我这话转告给他,我并不需要工作,这就是证明。”他把那一百枚金币倒进了格特露的裙兜里,金币闪闪发亮,发出叮叮当当的脆响。

“你还记得我没有车费时你给我的那五块钱么?喏,这就是那五块,带上了九十九个弟兄,年龄不同,大小可一样。”

如果说格特露到来时心里害怕的话,此刻她已是胆战心惊,不知所措了。她从担心变成了确信,她没有怀疑,她相信自己。她满脸恐怖地望着马丁,沉重的两腿在金币的重负下软瘫了,好像遭到了火烧。

“这钱是你的了,”他笑了起来。

她大哭起来,开始嚎叫:“我可怜的弟弟,我可怜的弟弟。”

马丁一时很觉莫名其妙,然后明白了她难过的原因,便把梅瑞迪思一罗威尔公司防支票寄来的信递给了她。她磕磕绊绊读着信,不时停下来抹眼泪,读完说道:

“这是不是说你这钱来得正当呢?”

“比中彩票还正当,是挣来的。”

信任慢慢回到她心里,她又把信仔仔细细读了一次。马万花了不少功夫才向她解释清楚使他获得那收入的是一笔什么性质的交易,又花了更多的功夫才让她明白了那钱真是她的——他不需要钱。

“我给你存在银行里,”最后她说。

“你别那么做,这钱是你的,你想怎么花就怎么花,你要是不收我就给茉莉安了,她会知道怎么花的。我倒是建议你请一个用人,好好作一个长时间的休息。”

“我要把这一切都告诉伯纳德,”她临走时宣布。

马丁眨了眨眼,笑了。

“好的,告诉他,”他说,“那时候他也许又会请我去吃饭的。”

“对,他会的,我相信他会的。”她热情地叫了起来,把他拉到身边,亲他,拥抱他。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 40楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  40


"Overdue" still continued to lie forgotten on the table. Every manuscript that he had had out now lay under the table. Only one manuscript he kept going, and that was Brissenden's "Ephemera." His bicycle and black suit were again in pawn, and the type-writer people were once more worrying about the rent. But such things no longer bothered him. He was seeking a new orientation, and until that was found his life must stand still.




After several weeks, what he had been waiting for happened. He met Ruth on the street. It was true, she was accompanied by her brother, Norman, and it was true that they tried to ignore him and that Norman attempted to wave him aside.




"If you interfere with my sister, I'll call an officer," Norman threatened. "She does not wish to speak with you, and your insistence is insult."




"If you persist, you'll have to call that officer, and then you'll get your name in the papers," Martin answered grimly. "And now, get out of my way and get the officer if you want to. I'm going to talk with Ruth."




"I want to have it from your own lips," he said to her.




She was pale and trembling, but she held up and looked inquiringly.




"The question I asked in my letter," he prompted.




Norman made an impatient movement, but Martin checked him with a swift look.




She shook her head.




"Is all this of your own free will?" he demanded.




"It is." She spoke in a low, firm voice and with deliberation. "It is of my own free will. You have disgraced me so that I am ashamed to meet my friends. They are all talking about me, I know. That is all I can tell you. You have made me very unhappy, and I never wish to see you again."




"Friends! Gossip! Newspaper misreports! Surely such things are not stronger than love! I can only believe that you never loved me."




A blush drove the pallor from her face.




"After what has passed?" she said faintly. "Martin, you do not know what you are saying. I am not common."




"You see, she doesn't want to have anything to do with you," Norman blurted out, starting on with her.




Martin stood aside and let them pass, fumbling unconsciously in his coat pocket for the tobacco and brown papers that were not there.




It was a long walk to North Oakland, but it was not until he went up the steps and entered his room that he knew he had walked it. He found himself sitting on the edge of the bed and staring about him like an awakened somnambulist. He noticed "Overdue" lying on the table and drew up his chair and reached for his pen. There was in his nature a logical compulsion toward completeness. Here was something undone. It had been deferred against the completion of something else. Now that something else had been finished, and he would apply himself to this task until it was finished. What he would do next he did not know. All that he did know was that a climacteric in his life had been attained. A period had been reached, and he was rounding it off in workman-like fashion. He was not curious about the future. He would soon enough find out what it held in store for him. Whatever it was, it did not matter. Nothing seemed to matter.




For five days he toiled on at "Overdue," going nowhere, seeing nobody, and eating meagrely. On the morning of the sixth day the postman brought him a thin letter from the editor of THE PARTHENON. A glance told him that "Ephemera" was accepted. "We have submitted the poem to Mr. Cartwright Bruce," the editor went on to say, "and he has reported so favorably upon it that we cannot let it go. As an earnest of our pleasure in publishing the poem, let me tell you that we have set it for the August number, our July number being already made up. Kindly extend our pleasure and our thanks to Mr. Brissenden. Please send by return mail his photograph and biographical data. If our honorarium is unsatisfactory, kindly telegraph us at once and state what you consider a fair price."




Since the honorarium they had offered was three hundred and fifty dollars, Martin thought it not worth while to telegraph. Then, too, there was Brissenden's consent to be gained. Well, he had been right, after all. Here was one magazine editor who knew real poetry when he saw it. And the price was splendid, even though it was for the poem of a century. As for Cartwright Bruce, Martin knew that he was the one critic for whose opinions Brissenden had any respect.




Martin rode down town on an electric car, and as he watched the houses and cross-streets slipping by he was aware of a regret that he was not more elated over his friend's success and over his own signal victory. The one critic in the United States had pronounced favorably on the poem, while his own contention that good stuff could find its way into the magazines had proved correct. But enthusiasm had lost its spring in him, and he found that he was more anxious to see Brissenden than he was to carry the good news. The acceptance of THE PARTHENON had recalled to him that during his five days' devotion to "Overdue" he had not heard from Brissenden nor even thought about him. For the first time Martin realized the daze he had been in, and he felt shame for having forgotten his friend. But even the shame did not burn very sharply. He was numb to emotions of any sort save the artistic ones concerned in the writing of "Overdue." So far as other affairs were concerned, he had been in a trance. For that matter, he was still in a trance. All this life through which the electric car whirred seemed remote and unreal, and he would have experienced little interest and less shook if the great stone steeple of the church he passed had suddenly crumbled to mortar-dust upon his head.




At the hotel he hurried up to Brissenden's room, and hurried down again. The room was empty. All luggage was gone.




"Did Mr. Brissenden leave any address?" he asked the clerk, who looked at him curiously for a moment.




"Haven't you heard?" he asked.




Martin shook his head.




"Why, the papers were full of it. He was found dead in bed. Suicide. Shot himself through the head."




"Is he buried yet?" Martin seemed to hear his voice, like some one else's voice, from a long way off, asking the question.




"No. The body was shipped East after the inquest. Lawyers engaged by his people saw to the arrangements."




"They were quick about it, I must say," Martin commented.




"Oh, I don't know. It happened five days ago."




"Five days ago?"




"Yes, five days ago."




"Oh," Martin said as he turned and went out.




At the corner he stepped into the Western Union and sent a telegram to THE PARTHENON, advising them to proceed with the publication of the poem. He had in his pocket but five cents with which to pay his carfare home, so he sent the message collect.




Once in his room, he resumed his writing. The days and nights came and went, and he sat at his table and wrote on. He went nowhere, save to the pawnbroker, took no exercise, and ate methodically when he was hungry and had something to cook, and just as methodically went without when he had nothing to cook. Composed as the story was, in advance, chapter by chapter, he nevertheless saw and developed an opening that increased the power of it, though it necessitated twenty thousand additional words. It was not that there was any vital need that the thing should be well done, but that his artistic canons compelled him to do it well. He worked on in the daze, strangely detached from the world around him, feeling like a familiar ghost among these literary trappings of his former life. He remembered that some one had said that a ghost was the spirit of a man who was dead and who did not have sense enough to know it; and he paused for the moment to wonder if he were really dead did unaware of it.




Came the day when "Overdue" was finished. The agent of the type- writer firm had come for the machine, and he sat on the bed while Martin, on the one chair, typed the last pages of the final chapter. "Finis," he wrote, in capitals, at the end, and to him it was indeed finis. He watched the type-writer carried out the door with a feeling of relief, then went over and lay down on the bed. He was faint from hunger. Food had not passed his lips in thirty- six hours, but he did not think about it. He lay on his back, with closed eyes, and did not think at all, while the daze or stupor slowly welled up, saturating his consciousness. Half in delirium, he began muttering aloud the lines of an anonymous poem Brissenden had been fond of quoting to him. Maria, listening anxiously outside his door, was perturbed by his monotonous utterance. The words in themselves were not significant to her, but the fact that he was saying them was. "I have done," was the burden of the poem.




"'I have done - Put by the lute. Song and singing soon are over As the airy shades that hover In among the purple clover. I have done - Put by the lute. Once I sang as early thrushes Sing among the dewy bushes; Now I'm mute. I am like a weary linnet, For my throat has no song in it; I have had my singing minute. I have done. Put by the lute.'"




Maria could stand it no longer, and hurried away to the stove, where she filled a quart-bowl with soup, putting into it the lion's share of chopped meat and vegetables which her ladle scraped from the bottom of the pot. Martin roused himself and sat up and began to eat, between spoonfuls reassuring Maria that he had not been talking in his sleep and that he did not have any fever.




After she left him he sat drearily, with drooping shoulders, on the edge of the bed, gazing about him with lack-lustre eyes that saw nothing until the torn wrapper of a magazine, which had come in the morning's mail and which lay unopened, shot a gleam of light into his darkened brain. It is THE PARTHENON, he thought, the August PARTHENON, and it must contain "Ephemera." If only Brissenden were here to see!




He was turning the pages of the magazine, when suddenly he stopped. "Ephemera" had been featured, with gorgeous head-piece and Beardsley-like margin decorations. On one side of the head-piece was Brissenden's photograph, on the other side was the photograph of Sir John Value, the British Ambassador. A preliminary editorial note quoted Sir John Value as saying that there were no poets in America, and the publication of "Ephemera" was THE PARTHENON'S. "There, take that, Sir John Value!" Cartwright Bruce was described as the greatest critic in America, and he was quoted as saying that "Ephemera" was the greatest poem ever written in America. And finally, the editor's foreword ended with: "We have not yet made up our minds entirely as to the merits of "Ephemera"; perhaps we shall never be able to do so. But we have read it often, wondering at the words and their arrangement, wondering where Mr. Brissenden got them, and how he could fasten them together." Then followed the poem.




"Pretty good thing you died, Briss, old man," Martin murmured, letting the magazine slip between his knees to the floor.




The cheapness and vulgarity of it was nauseating, and Martin noted apathetically that he was not nauseated very much. He wished he could get angry, but did not have energy enough to try. He was too numb. His blood was too congealed to accelerate to the swift tidal flow of indignation. After all, what did it matter? It was on a par with all the rest that Brissenden had condemned in bourgeois society.




"Poor Briss," Martin communed; "he would never have forgiven me."




Rousing himself with an effort, he possessed himself of a box which had once contained type-writer paper. Going through its contents, he drew forth eleven poems which his friend had written. These he tore lengthwise and crosswise and dropped into the waste basket. He did it languidly, and, when he had finished, sat on the edge of the bed staring blankly before him.




How long he sat there he did not know, until, suddenly, across his sightless vision he saw form a long horizontal line of white. It was curious. But as he watched it grow in definiteness he saw that it was a coral reef smoking in the white Pacific surges. Next, in the line of breakers he made out a small canoe, an outrigger canoe. In the stern he saw a young bronzed god in scarlet hip-cloth dipping a flashing paddle. He recognized him. He was Moti, the youngest son of Tati, the chief, and this was Tahiti, and beyond that smoking reef lay the sweet land of Papara and the chief's grass house by the river's mouth. It was the end of the day, and Moti was coming home from the fishing. He was waiting for the rush of a big breaker whereon to jump the reef. Then he saw himself, sitting forward in the canoe as he had often sat in the past, dipping a paddle that waited Moti's word to dig in like mad when the turquoise wall of the great breaker rose behind them. Next, he was no longer an onlooker but was himself in the canoe, Moti was crying out, they were both thrusting hard with their paddles, racing on the steep face of the flying turquoise. Under the bow the water was hissing as from a steam jet, the air was filled with driven spray, there was a rush and rumble and long-echoing roar, and the canoe floated on the placid water of the lagoon. Moti laughed and shook the salt water from his eyes, and together they paddled in to the pounded-coral beach where Tati's grass walls through the cocoanut-palms showed golden in the setting sun.




The picture faded, and before his eyes stretched the disorder of his squalid room. He strove in vain to see Tahiti again. He knew there was singing among the trees and that the maidens were dancing in the moonlight, but he could not see them. He could see only the littered writing-table, the empty space where the type-writer had stood, and the unwashed window-pane. He closed his eyes with a groan, and slept.
《过期》仍然躺在桌上,被忘掉了。他寄出去的手稿现在都躺在桌子底下。只有一份稿子他还在往外寄,那就是布里森登的《蜉蝣》。他的自行车和黑色外衣又进了当铺。打字机行的人又在担心租金了。但是马丁再也不会为这类事情烦恼了。他在寻找新的方向,在找到以前,他的生活只好暂停。

几个礼拜以后他等待的东西出现了。他在街上遇见了露丝。她确实由她的弟弟诺尔曼陪着,两人确实都想不理他,而诺尔曼也挥手打算赶他走。

“你要是骚扰我姐姐,我就叫警察,”诺尔曼威胁说,“她不愿意和你说话而你硬要跟她说话就是侮辱她。”

“如果你坚持你的做法,就去叫警察好了,那你的名字就会上报,”马丁冷冷地回答,“现在你离开这儿,去叫警察吧,我要跟露丝谈一谈。”

“我要听你自己说说,”马丁对露丝说。

她颤抖着,脸色苍白,可是停了步,带着疑问的神色望着他。

“我要听你回答我在信里提出的问题,”他提醒她。

诺尔曼做了个不耐烦的动作,但是马丁立即盯了他一眼,制止了他。

她摇摇头。

“全是出于你自己的自由意志么?”他问。

“是的,”她声音很低,但坚决,沉静,“是我自己的自由意志。你叫我受到了侮辱,叫我羞于见到朋友。她们都在说我闲话,我知道。这就是我能告诉你的话。你使我很不幸,我再也不想见到你了。”

“朋友!闲话!报纸上的错误报道!这些东西总不会比爱情更强有力吧!我只能相信你从来就没有爱过我。”

一阵红晕赶走了她脸上的苍白。

“我们有过那么多的过从你还这么讲么?”她有气无力地说,“马丁,你不知道你说的是什么。我可不是一般的人。”

“听见了吧?她不愿意再跟你来往了!”诺尔曼叫了起来,打算带了她离开。

马丁站到一边,让他们走掉了,一面在口袋里摸索着烟叶和褐色的纸,却没有。

到北奥克兰的路还很远,但是他是直到上了台阶进了屋子才发觉自己是步行回来的。他发现自己坐在床边上,向四面张望着,像个刚醒来的梦游病患者。他注意到《过期》还躺在桌子上,便拉拢了椅子伸手去取笔。他有一种带逻辑强迫力的有始有终的天性。有件事因为别的事耽搁而没有做完,现在别的事已经做完,他就该来完成这件事了。往后再要干什么,他不知道。他只知道自己面;临着平生的转折关头。一个阶段已经结束,他郑重其事地做着收尾工作。他对于未来并不好奇,等着他的是什么东西他不久就会知道的。不管是什么,都没有关系。一切一切都似乎无所谓了。

一连五天他苦苦地写着《过期》,没有出门,没有见人,东西也吃得很少。第六天早上邮递员给他送来了《帕提农》的编辑给他的一封信。他一眼就看出《蜉蝣》已经被采用。“本刊已将此诗送卡特莱特·布鲁斯先生审阅,”编辑说,“布鲁斯先生极为推崇,本刊亦爱不释手。本刊七月号稿件业已排定,为说明出版此稿之忱,谨此奉告:该稿已定于八月号刊登——请向布里森登先生转致本刊荣幸之感,并致谢意。请于赐复时附寄布里森登先生照片及小传。本刊薄酬若不当意,请即电告,并提出先生以为恰当之数。”

他们提出的稿酬是三百五十元,马丁觉得已经不必再电告了。不过这事得要取得布里森登同意。看来他毕竟没有错:这里就有了一个有眼光的杂志编辑。即使这首诗可称世纪之作,稿费也还是很高的。至于卡特莱特·布鲁斯,马丁知道他在布里森登眼中是其意见多少还值得尊重的唯一评论家。

马丁乘电车进了城,在凝望车外闪现的房屋和横街时他意识到了一种遗憾:他并没有为他的朋友的成功和自己的显著胜利太感到得意。美国唯一的评论家对这首诗表示了赞赏;那么自己的看法:好作品也能得到杂志的首肯也证明没有错。但是他心里的热情已经没有了源泉。他发现自己更喜欢的倒是见到布里森登,而不是告诉他好消息。《帕提农》接受稿件的事提醒了他,在他忙着写《过期》的五天里还没有得到过布里森登的消息,甚至连想也没有想起过他。这才第一次意识到自己忙昏了头,于是为忘掉朋友而惭愧起来。但,就是那惭愧之感也并不强烈。他已经麻木,除了写作《过期》所需要的艺术激情之外他已经不再有激情可言。在别的事情上他处于失神状态,到目前还是一片空白。电车呜呜驶过的这一切生活都似乎辽远缥缈。即使他刚才经过的教堂那巍峨的石头尖塔此刻突然砸到他头上,碎成了片片,他也不会注意,更不要说惊讶了。

他来到旅馆,匆匆上了楼,走到布里森登的房间,又匆匆地赶了下来。房间是空的。行李全没有了。“布里森登先生留下地址没有?”他问办事员,那人很纳罕,打量了他一会儿。

“你没有听说么?”他问。

马丁摇摇头。

“怎么,报纸上满是他的事呢。他被发现死在了床上,自杀了。子弹射穿了脑袋。”

“埋了没有?”马丁听见自己的声音像是别人的,在从辽远处提出问题。

“没有,尸体检查之后就运到东部去了。一切都是由他家里人委托的律师处理的。”

“办理得倒真快,我得说,”马丁发表意见。

“那我就不知道了。那是五天以前的事。”

‘三天以前?”

“是的,五天以前。”

“噢,”马丁说着转身走了出去。

来到街角他走进了西部联合电信局,给《帕提农》发了一个电报,要求他们发表那首诗。他口袋里只剩下五分钱坐车回家了,因此发出的电报由收报人付费。

一回到家他又开始了写作。白天黑夜来来去去,他总坐在桌边写着。除了上当铺他哪儿也没有去过。他从不运动,饿了,有东西可煮就煮一点,照章办事地吃下去;没有东西可煮就不煮,照章办事地饿肚子。他那故事早已一章章安排好,他却又考虑而且发展出了一个盯以增加气魄的开头,尽管那又不能不增加了两万来字。那小说并没有什么严重的必要非写好不可,逼着他精益求精的是他的艺术信条。他就像那样失魂落魄地写着,跟周围的世界离奇地脱了节。他感到自己好像是一个回到了前生所熟悉的写作条件里的幽灵。他想起有人说过幽灵是已经死去却还没有意识到死亡的人的精神;于是停下笔考虑,他是否已经死去而还没有意识到死亡。

《过期》写完的日子终于到来,打字机行的代理人已经来取机器,马丁坐在唯一的椅子上写最后一章的几页,那人就坐在床上等着。“完,”到末了他用大写字母打出。对他说来的确是一切都结束了。他怀着一种如释重负的心情看着打字机被带出了门,然后来到床边躺了下来。他的嘴唇已经三十六小时没有碰过食物,但他想也没有想。闭着眼躺在床上,一无所思。昏沉,或是麻木,涌了上来,淹没了他的知觉。他半是吃语地大声背诵起布里森登喜欢为他朗诵的一个无名诗人的诗句。玛利亚在他门外担心地听着,为他那单调的声音提心吊胆。那些话对她倒没有什么意义,她担心的是他在那么喃喃地叨念。那诗的叠句是,“我的歌已经唱完”:“‘我的歌已经唱完,我已把诗琴收起。歌声与歌唱转瞬即逝,如笼在紫苜蓿上的轻灵而缥缈的影子。我的歌已经唱完,我已把诗琴收起。我曾歌唱如早起的画眉,鸣啭在露湿的灌木丛里。可此刻我已经喑哑无语,如一只唱厌倦了的红雀,因为我喉里再没有歌曲,我已度尽我歌唱的日子。我的歌已经唱完,我已把诗琴收起。’”

玛利亚再也受不了了,急忙到炉边盛满了一大钵汤,把用勺子从锅底滤出的她家大部分的肉末和蔬菜放了进去。马丁鼓起劲坐起身子吃了起来。一面舀着一面叫玛利亚放心,他决没有梦呓,也没有发烧。

玛利亚离开之后他仍耷拉了两肩阴郁地坐在床边,眼睛失神地望着,对一切都视而不见,直到一本杂志撕破的封面把一道光芒射进了他漆黑的脑子里。那份杂志是早上送到的,还没有拆开。他以为是《帕提农》,八月号的《帕提农》,上面一定有《蜉蝣》,要是布里森登能看见就好了!

他翻阅着杂志,突然住了手。《蜉蝣》是以特稿形式刊登的,有豪华的题花和比亚兹荣风格的边框装饰。题花一侧是布里森登的照片,另一侧是英国大使约翰·伐琉爵士的照片。一篇编辑部的介绍短文引用伐琉大使的话说:美国没有诗人。《蜉蝣》的出版等于是《帕提农》一声断喝:“看看这,约翰·伐琉爵士!”杂志把卡特莱特描写为美国最伟大的评论家,并引用他的话说《蜉蝣》是美国有史以来最伟大的诗篇。最后编辑的前言以下面的话结束:“我们对于《蜉蝣》的杰出之处还没有完全认识;也许永远也无法认识。但是我们再三拜读此诗,对其词语及结构总是惊讶莫名,我们惊讶布里森登先生的词语从何而来,又如何联属成了此文。”接下来就是那首诗。

“你死了倒好,布里老兄,”马丁喃喃地说,让那杂志从膝盖之间滑落到地上。

那廉价、那庸俗真叫人要呕吐,可马丁却又冷冰冰地觉得并不太想呕吐。他倒希望自己能生气,但他已没有了生气的力气。他太麻木,血液太粘稠,流速达不到发脾气所需要的理想的激动程度。可归根到底,那又有什么关系?这种现象和布里森登所藐视的资产阶级社会的一切岂不正好合拍么?

“可怜的布里,”马丁内省道,“他是永远也不会原谅我了。”

他打叠起精神,捧起了一个箱子,原来是用来装打字纸的。他浏览了一下目录,从里面抽出了十一首他那朋友的诗,把它们横着撕破又竖着撕破,扔进了字纸篓里。他懒洋洋地做着,做完又坐在床边茫然地望着前面。

他不知道自己坐了多久,最后在他那一无所见的视觉里出现了一道白色的光,长长的,平躺的,很怪。他再看,那水平的光越来越清楚了,他看见了,原来是在太平洋白色的波涛之间的一道雾蒙蒙的珊瑚礁。然后他就在重重的浪花里看见了一只独木船——带平衡翼的独木船。他在船尾看见一个挂着朱红腰布的青铜色的年轻神灵,挥动着闪亮的桨片。他认出来了,那是莫提,塔提前长最小的儿子。地点是塔希提岛。那雾蒙蒙的珊瑚礁以外就是帕帕拉的美妙的土地,酋长的草屋就坐落在河口。那时已是黄昏,莫提打完鱼要回家,正等着大浪来送他飞越珊瑚礁。这时马万也看见了自己,正按以前的习惯坐在独木船前面,桨放在水里,等候着莫提的命令,准备在那大潮的碧玉般的高墙从身后打来时不要命地划过去。然后,马丁已不再是看客,而成了划着独木船的自己。莫提大喊大叫,两人在笔陡飞旋的碧玉高墙上拼命地划着桨。船船下海浪嘶嘶地怒吼着;有如喷着水气的喷头,空气里弥漫着飞溅的浪花,冲击奔腾的喧哗声此起彼伏,然后,独木船便已漂浮在礁湖里平静的水面上。莫提哈哈大笑,眨巴着溅过眼里的海水,然后两人便划进了用碎珊瑚铺成的海滩旁。那儿,在夕阳里,椰子树的绿叶之间露出了一片金黄,那就是塔提的草屋子单打成的墙面。

那画面谈去了。他眼前出现了自己肮脏凌乱的房间。他努力想再看到塔希提,却失败了。他知道那里有些树丛里有歌声,月光下还有姑娘们在舞蹈,但是他已看不见了。他看得见的只有那凌乱的书桌,打字机留下的空白,还有不曾擦洗过的窗玻璃。他呻吟了一声,睡去了。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 39楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  39


Over the coffee, in his little room, Martin read next morning's paper. It was a novel experience to find himself head-lined, on the first page at that; and he was surprised to learn that he was the most notorious leader of the Oakland socialists. He ran over the violent speech the cub reporter had constructed for him, and, though at first he was angered by the fabrication, in the end he tossed the paper aside with a laugh.




"Either the man was drunk or criminally malicious," he said that afternoon, from his perch on the bed, when Brissenden had arrived and dropped limply into the one chair.




"But what do you care?" Brissenden asked. "Surely you don't desire the approval of the bourgeois swine that read the newspapers?"




Martin thought for a while, then said:-




"No, I really don't care for their approval, not a whit. On the other hand, it's very likely to make my relations with Ruth's family a trifle awkward. Her father always contended I was a socialist, and this miserable stuff will clinch his belief. Not that I care for his opinion - but what's the odds? I want to read you what I've been doing to-day. It's 'Overdue,' of course, and I'm just about halfway through."




He was reading aloud when Maria thrust open the door and ushered in a young man in a natty suit who glanced briskly about him, noting the oil-burner and the kitchen in the corner before his gaze wandered on to Martin.




"Sit down," Brissenden said.




Martin made room for the young man on the bed and waited for him to broach his business.




"I heard you speak last night, Mr. Eden, and I've come to interview you," he began.




Brissenden burst out in a hearty laugh.




"A brother socialist?" the reporter asked, with a quick glance at Brissenden that appraised the color-value of that cadaverous and dying man.




"And he wrote that report," Martin said softly. "Why, he is only a boy!"




"Why don't you poke him?" Brissenden asked. "I'd give a thousand dollars to have my lungs back for five minutes."




The cub reporter was a trifle perplexed by this talking over him and around him and at him. But he had been commended for his brilliant description of the socialist meeting and had further been detailed to get a personal interview with Martin Eden, the leader of the organized menace to society.




"You do not object to having your picture taken, Mr. Eden?" he said. "I've a staff photographer outside, you see, and he says it will be better to take you right away before the sun gets lower. Then we can have the interview afterward."




"A photographer," Brissenden said meditatively. "Poke him, Martin! Poke him!"




"I guess I'm getting old," was the answer. "I know I ought, but I really haven't the heart. It doesn't seem to matter."




"For his mother's sake," Brissenden urged.




"It's worth considering," Martin replied; "but it doesn't seem worth while enough to rouse sufficient energy in me. You see, it does take energy to give a fellow a poking. Besides, what does it matter?"




"That's right - that's the way to take it," the cub announced airily, though he had already begun to glance anxiously at the door.




"But it wasn't true, not a word of what he wrote," Martin went on, confining his attention to Brissenden.




"It was just in a general way a description, you understand," the cub ventured, "and besides, it's good advertising. That's what counts. It was a favor to you."




"It's good advertising, Martin, old boy," Brissenden repeated solemnly.




"And it was a favor to me - think of that!" was Martin's contribution.




"Let me see - where were you born, Mr. Eden?" the cub asked, assuming an air of expectant attention.




"He doesn't take notes," said Brissenden. "He remembers it all."




"That is sufficient for me." The cub was trying not to look worried. "No decent reporter needs to bother with notes."




"That was sufficient - for last night." But Brissenden was not a disciple of quietism, and he changed his attitude abruptly. "Martin, if you don't poke him, I'll do it myself, if I fall dead on the floor the next moment."




"How will a spanking do?" Martin asked.




Brissenden considered judicially, and nodded his head.




The next instant Martin was seated on the edge of the bed with the cub face downward across his knees.




"Now don't bite," Martin warned, "or else I'll have to punch your face. It would be a pity, for it is such a pretty face."




His uplifted hand descended, and thereafter rose and fell in a swift and steady rhythm. The cub struggled and cursed and squirmed, but did not offer to bite. Brissenden looked on gravely, though once he grew excited and gripped the whiskey bottle, pleading, "Here, just let me swat him once."




"Sorry my hand played out," Martin said, when at last he desisted. "It is quite numb."




He uprighted the cub and perched him on the bed.




"I'll have you arrested for this," he snarled, tears of boyish indignation running down his flushed cheeks. "I'll make you sweat for this. You'll see."




"The pretty thing," Martin remarked. "He doesn't realize that he has entered upon the downward path. It is not honest, it is not square, it is not manly, to tell lies about one's fellow-creatures the way he has done, and he doesn't know it."




"He has to come to us to be told," Brissenden filled in a pause.




"Yes, to me whom he has maligned and injured. My grocery will undoubtedly refuse me credit now. The worst of it is that the poor boy will keep on this way until he deteriorates into a first-class newspaper man and also a first-class scoundrel."




"But there is yet time," quoth Brissenden. "Who knows but what you may prove the humble instrument to save him. Why didn't you let me swat him just once? I'd like to have had a hand in it."




"I'll have you arrested, the pair of you, you b-b-big brutes," sobbed the erring soul.




"No, his mouth is too pretty and too weak." Martin shook his head lugubriously. "I'm afraid I've numbed my hand in vain. The young man cannot reform. He will become eventually a very great and successful newspaper man. He has no conscience. That alone will make him great."




With that the cub passed out the door in trepidation to the last for fear that Brissenden would hit him in the back with the bottle he still clutched.




In the next morning's paper Martin learned a great deal more about himself that was new to him. "We are the sworn enemies of society," he found himself quoted as saying in a column interview. "No, we are not anarchists but socialists." When the reporter pointed out to him that there seemed little difference between the two schools, Martin had shrugged his shoulders in silent affirmation. His face was described as bilaterally asymmetrical, and various other signs of degeneration were described. Especially notable were his thuglike hands and the fiery gleams in his blood- shot eyes.




He learned, also, that he spoke nightly to the workmen in the City Hall Park, and that among the anarchists and agitators that there inflamed the minds of the people he drew the largest audiences and made the most revolutionary speeches. The cub painted a high-light picture of his poor little room, its oil-stove and the one chair, and of the death's-head tramp who kept him company and who looked as if he had just emerged from twenty years of solitary confinement in some fortress dungeon.




The cub had been industrious. He had scurried around and nosed out Martin's family history, and procured a photograph of Higginbotham's Cash Store with Bernard Higginbotham himself standing out in front. That gentleman was depicted as an intelligent, dignified businessman who had no patience with his brother-in-law's socialistic views, and no patience with the brother-in-law, either, whom he was quoted as characterizing as a lazy good-for-nothing who wouldn't take a job when it was offered to him and who would go to jail yet. Hermann Yon Schmidt, Marian's husband, had likewise been interviewed. He had called Martin the black sheep of the family and repudiated him. "He tried to sponge off of me, but I put a stop to that good and quick," Von Schmidt had said to the reporter. "He knows better than to come bumming around here. A man who won't work is no good, take that from me."




This time Martin was genuinely angry. Brissenden looked upon the affair as a good joke, but he could not console Martin, who knew that it would be no easy task to explain to Ruth. As for her father, he knew that he must be overjoyed with what had happened and that he would make the most of it to break off the engagement. How much he would make of it he was soon to realize. The afternoon mail brought a letter from Ruth. Martin opened it with a premonition of disaster, and read it standing at the open door when he had received it from the postman. As he read, mechanically his hand sought his pocket for the tobacco and brown paper of his old cigarette days. He was not aware that the pocket was empty or that he had even reached for the materials with which to roll a cigarette.




It was not a passionate letter. There were no touches of anger in it. But all the way through, from the first sentence to the last, was sounded the note of hurt and disappointment. She had expected better of him. She had thought he had got over his youthful wildness, that her love for him had been sufficiently worth while to enable him to live seriously and decently. And now her father and mother had taken a firm stand and commanded that the engagement be broken. That they were justified in this she could not but admit. Their relation could never be a happy one. It had been unfortunate from the first. But one regret she voiced in the whole letter, and it was a bitter one to Martin. "If only you had settled down to some position and attempted to make something of yourself," she wrote. "But it was not to be. Your past life had been too wild and irregular. I can understand that you are not to be blamed. You could act only according to your nature and your early training. So I do not blame you, Martin. Please remember that. It was simply a mistake. As father and mother have contended, we were not made for each other, and we should both be happy because it was discovered not too late." . . "There is no use trying to see me," she said toward the last. "It would be an unhappy meeting for both of us, as well as for my mother. I feel, as it is, that I have caused her great pain and worry. I shall have to do much living to atone for it."




He read it through to the end, carefully, a second time, then sat down and replied. He outlined the remarks he had uttered at the socialist meeting, pointing out that they were in all ways the converse of what the newspaper had put in his mouth. Toward the end of the letter he was God's own lover pleading passionately for love. "Please answer," he said, "and in your answer you have to tell me but one thing. Do you love me? That is all - the answer to that one question."




But no answer came the next day, nor the next. "Overdue" lay untouched upon the table, and each day the heap of returned manuscripts under the table grew larger. For the first time Martin's glorious sleep was interrupted by insomnia, and he tossed through long, restless nights. Three times he called at the Morse home, but was turned away by the servant who answered the bell. Brissenden lay sick in his hotel, too feeble to stir out, and, though Martin was with him often, he did not worry him with his troubles.




For Martin's troubles were many. The aftermath of the cub reporter's deed was even wider than Martin had anticipated. The Portuguese grocer refused him further credit, while the greengrocer, who was an American and proud of it, had called him a traitor to his country and refused further dealings with him - carrying his patriotism to such a degree that he cancelled Martin's account and forbade him ever to attempt to pay it. The talk in the neighborhood reflected the same feeling, and indignation against Martin ran high. No one would have anything to do with a socialist traitor. Poor Maria was dubious and frightened, but she remained loyal. The children of the neighborhood recovered from the awe of the grand carriage which once had visited Martin, and from safe distances they called him "hobo" and "bum." The Silva tribe, however, stanchly defended him, fighting more than one pitched battle for his honor, and black eyes and bloody noses became quite the order of the day and added to Maria's perplexities and troubles.




Once, Martin met Gertrude on the street, down in Oakland, and learned what he knew could not be otherwise - that Bernard Higginbotham was furious with him for having dragged the family into public disgrace, and that he had forbidden him the house.




"Why don't you go away, Martin?" Gertrude had begged. "Go away and get a job somewhere and steady down. Afterwards, when this all blows over, you can come back."




Martin shook his head, but gave no explanations. How could he explain? He was appalled at the awful intellectual chasm that yawned between him and his people. He could never cross it and explain to them his position, - the Nietzschean position, in regard to socialism. There were not words enough in the English language, nor in any language, to make his attitude and conduct intelligible to them. Their highest concept of right conduct, in his case, was to get a job. That was their first word and their last. It constituted their whole lexicon of ideas. Get a job! Go to work! Poor, stupid slaves, he thought, while his sister talked. Small wonder the world belonged to the strong. The slaves were obsessed by their own slavery. A job was to them a golden fetich before which they fell down and worshipped.




He shook his head again, when Gertrude offered him money, though he knew that within the day he would have to make a trip to the pawnbroker.




"Don't come near Bernard now," she admonished him. "After a few months, when he is cooled down, if you want to, you can get the job of drivin' delivery-wagon for him. Any time you want me, just send for me an' I'll come. Don't forget."




She went away weeping audibly, and he felt a pang of sorrow shoot through him at sight of her heavy body and uncouth gait. As he watched her go, the Nietzschean edifice seemed to shake and totter. The slave-class in the abstract was all very well, but it was not wholly satisfactory when it was brought home to his own family. And yet, if there was ever a slave trampled by the strong, that slave was his sister Gertrude. He grinned savagely at the paradox. A fine Nietzsche-man he was, to allow his intellectual concepts to be shaken by the first sentiment or emotion that strayed along - ay, to be shaken by the slave-morality itself, for that was what his pity for his sister really was. The true noble men were above pity and compassion. Pity and compassion had been generated in the subterranean barracoons of the slaves and were no more than the agony and sweat of the crowded miserables and weaklings.
马丁是在小屋里喝着咖啡时读到第二天早上的报纸的。他得到了一个惊人的经验:发现自己以头版头条的位置登到了报上,而且成了奥克兰的社会党人臭名昭著的头子。他匆匆读完了那半瓶醋记者为他编造的激烈言论,虽然开始时很为那胡编乱造生气,后来却只笑了一笑便把那报纸扔到了一边。

“那家伙要不是喝醉了酒就是恶意诽谤。”那天下午他坐在床上说,那时布里森登来了,歪歪倒倒坐进了那唯一的椅子。

“那你管他干什么,”布里森登问他,“你肯定不会认为在报上读到这消息的资产阶级猪猡们会赞成你的话吧?”

马丁想了一会儿,说:——

“不,他们是否赞成我倒真不在乎,毫不在乎。可另一方面,这却能害得我跟露丝一家的关系更别扭。她爸爸总一D咬定说我是个社会主义者,现在这讨厌的玩意会叫他更加深信不疑的。我对他的意见倒不在乎——不过,那又算得什么?我想让你听听我今天才写的东西。当然,就是叫《过期》的那篇,写了才差不多一半。”

他正在朗读,玛利亚推开门,引进了一个年轻人。那人服装整齐,一进门先匆匆打量了布里森登一眼,注意到了煤油炉子和厨房,目光又回到马丁身上。

“坐,”布里森登说。

马丁在床上给年轻人让了个座位,等着他说明来意。

“我昨天晚上听了你的发言,伊登先生,现在是来采访你。”他开始了。

布里森登不禁哈哈大笑。

“他是你社会党的弟兄么?”记者急忙瞥了布里森登一眼,估计了一下那形容柏槁的快要死去的入的赤化程度,问道。

“那篇报道难道就是他写的么,”马丁低声说,“嗨,还是个娃娃呢!”

“你怎么不接他一顿?”布里森登问道,“要是能让我的肺恢复五分钟健康,我愿意出一千块钱。”

两人这样当着他的面不客气地议论他,使那半瓶醋记者有几分狼狈。但是他因为那篇对社会党集会的精彩报道曾受到表扬,并且得到指示要进一步采访马丁·伊甸本人——那个威胁着社会的组织的头目。

“你不会反对给你拍一张照片吧,伊登先生?”他说,“我们报社有个摄影师就在外面,你看,他说最好趁阳光还没有再往下斜时就拍,拍完我们再谈。”

“摄影师?”布里森登思量着,说,“揍他,马丁。揍他!”

“看来我年纪已经太大,”是马丁的回答,“我知道该揍他,可还真没有那心情。大概不会有什么关系吧。”

“替他妈妈教训他一顿,”布里森登催促他。

“那就值得考虑了,”马丁回答,“不过我似乎还鼓不起劲来。你看,揍人是要花力气的。而且,那又有什么关系?”

“不错,这才是处理问题的办法,”半瓶醋记者吊儿郎当地宣布,虽然他已开始不放心地打量着房门。

“不过他那全胡说。他发表的东西没有一句真话。”马丁的眼睛只看布里森登。

“那只不过是一般性的描写,你明白的,”那半瓶醋记者大着胆地回答,“何况,那也是很好的宣传。对你可是一种优惠,很合算的。”

“那可是很好的宣传呀,马丁老弟。”布里森登然有介事地重复记者的话。

“那还是给我的优惠呢——你看!”马丁附和。

“我看看——你生在什么地方,伊登先生?”半瓶醋记者问,摆出仔细听的样子。

“你看,他连笔记也不做,”布里森登说,“全靠脑子记。”

“我只用脑子记就行了,”那半瓶醋记者装出并不担心的样子。

“他昨天晚上也全是靠脑子记的,”布里森登可不是沉默主义的信徒。他突然改变了态度。“马丁,你要是不揍他,我就自己动手了,哪怕会叫我马上摔死在地上。”

“打他一顿屁股怎么样?”马丁问。

布里森登冷静地考虑了一会儿,点了点头。

转瞬之间马丁已坐到了床边,那半瓶醋记者已经趴在了他的膝盖上。

“现在你可别咬,”马丁警告他,“否则我就揍你的脸。你那张脸挺漂亮的,捧破了就太遗憾了。”

他挥起的手落了下来,接着就迅速地、有节奏地揍了起来。那半瓶醋记者挣扎着、咒骂着、扭动着,的确没有动口咬。布里森登一本正经地望着,尽管他有一回激动了起来,抓起了威士忌酒瓶,请求道:“来,让我也砸他一家伙。”

“抱歉,我的手没有劲了,”马丁终于停住,说,“打麻木了。”

他放掉了记者,让他坐在床上。

“我会叫人把你们抓起来的,”那人龇牙咧嘴地说,通红的面颊上眼泪婆娑,像满肚子委屈的孩子。“我会叫你们够受的。你们走着瞧。”

“小白脸,”马丁评论道,“他还不知道自己已经走上堕落的路了呢。像他那样拿他自己的同胞撒谎是不诚实的、不公正的,也不像个男子汉,而他竟然不觉得。”

“他得到我们这儿来听我们告诉他,”一阵沉默之后,布里森登说了下去。

“是的,对于受到他的诬蔑诽谤的我,那就意味着杂货店老板再也不会赊帐给我了。而最糟糕的是这可怜的娃娃就会这么继续胡闹下去,直到堕落成为一个头等的新闻记者兼头等流氓。”

“不过也许还来得及,”布里森登说,“你这个不算高明的手段说不定还能救他。你为什么不让我也敲他一家伙?我也想拉他一把呢。”

“我要把你们俩都抓起来,你们俩,大——大——大坏蛋,”那误入歧途的灵魂抽抽搭搭地说。

“不,他那嘴太好看,也太差劲,”马丁板着脸摇摇头说,“我担心是白白地打麻了我的手。这小伙子怕是改不了了,他最终会变成一个成功的大记者的。他没有良心,就凭这一条他就能飞黄腾达。”

那半瓶醋记者就这样走出了门。他心惊胆战,生怕布里森登会拿他还攥在手里的酒瓶从背后敲他一家伙。

马丁从第二天的报纸上读到了许多关于他自己的东西,那些东西他自己也觉得新鲜。“我们是社会的不共戴夫之敌,”他发现自己在一个专栏采访里说,“不,我们不是无政府主义者,而是社会主义者。”而在记者向他指出这两个派别似乎没有差异的时候,马丁便耸了耸肩,默认了。他的脸被描写成两面不对称,还涂上了些别的堕落迹象。特别引人注目的还有他那一双打手般的手,和充血的双眼里露出的凶光。

他还读到他每天晚上都要在市政厅公园向工人们演说,在那些蛊惑群众的无政府主义者和煽动家之中是听众最多、发言最激烈的一个。那半瓶醋记者对他那贫穷的小屋、煤油炉子、唯一的椅子,和跟他做伴的骷髅一样的流浪汉做了特写。说那人就像刚在什么要塞的地牢里单独囚禁了二十年之后才放出来的。

那半瓶醋记者很花了一点功夫。他四面打听,嗅出了一些马丁的家庭历史,弄到了一张希金波坦现金商店的照片,照片上伯纳德·希金波坦站在门口。那位先生被描写成了一个聪明庄重的商人,对于他的小舅子的社会主义观点和那位小舅子本人都受不了。据他说马丁的特点就是无所事事,游手好闲,给他工作也不做,早晚是会去蹲班房的。他也采访到了茉莉安的丈夫冯·史密特。史密特把马丁称作他们家族的害群之马,表示和他绝了交。“他想揩我的油,可我立即让他完全断了那念头,”冯·史密特告诉记者,“他知道从我这地捞不到什么,就不来鬼混了。不干活的人是不会干好事的,相信我。”

这一回马丁真生气了。布里森登把这事看作一个大玩笑,却无法安慰马丁。马丁知道很难向露丝解释清楚。至于她的父亲,他知道他会因为这事喜出望外,一定会尽量利用它解除他们俩的婚约。

他马上就明白了那老人利用此事到了什么程度。午后的一班邮件带来了一封露丝的信。马丁预感到会有灾难,从邮递员手上接过信,拆开,就站在门口看了起来。读信时机械地摸着日袋,想跟以往抽烟时一样掏出烟叶和棕色纸,他没有意识到口袋里早已空空如也,也没有意识到伸手掏过卷烟材料,想卷烟抽。

那信没有热情,也没有愤怒的迹象。但是从第一句到最后一句全是受到伤害和失望的调子。她曾期望他比现在更好,曾以为他青年时期的胡闹已经过去,曾以为她对他的爱情已足够促使他过起严肃正派的生活。而现在她的父亲和母亲已经采取了坚决的立场,命令她解除婚约,而她却只好承认他们是有道理的。他们俩的这种关系决不会幸福,从开头就没有幸福过。在整封信里她只表示了一点遗憾:对马丁的严重遗憾。“如果你一开头就找个职位安下心来做出点成绩,那就好了,”她写道,“可是你不肯,你过去的生活太胡闹,太放纵。那不能怪你,这我可以理解。你只能按照你的天性和早期受到的培养行动。因此我并不责备你,马丁。请记住这一点。那只是一个错误。正如爸爸妈妈所坚持的,我们注定了不是一对,因此我们俩都应当高兴,高兴发现得还不算太晚。”……“别想来看我了,那没有用,”结尾时她写道,“见面对我们俩和我的母亲都是不会愉快的。就像现在这样,我已经觉得给了她极大的痛苦和烦恼了。我得过好多日子才能弥补起来。”

他又把信从头到尾仔仔细细读了一遍,然后坐下来写回信。他概括地介绍了一下他在社会党会上的发言,指出他说的话跟报上讲的他的发言恰好相反。在信末他又成了上帝的情人,热情洋溢地表白了爱情。“请回信,”他说,“回信时只需回答我一个问题:你是否爱我?就这一个问题。”

可是第二天却没有回信,第三天也没有。《过期》躺在桌上,他也没有去碰。桌下的退稿一天天增加。马丁的睡眠一向极酣畅,现在却第一次遭到了失眠的干扰。漫长的夜里他辗转反侧,通宵不寐。他到莫尔斯家去拜访了三次,三次都叫应门的仆人挡了驾。布里森登病了,躺在旅馆里,身体虚弱,不能行动。马丁虽然常和他在一起,却没有拿自己的烦恼去麻烦他。

马丁的麻烦很多,那半瓶醋记者的行为带来的后果比马丁预计的大了许多。葡萄牙杂货商拒绝赊给他东西了。蔬菜商是个美国人,并以此而自豪。他把他叫做卖国贼,拒绝跟他再有往来。他的爱国情绪竟高涨到划掉马丁的欠帐不准他还的程度。左邻右舍的谈话也反映了这种情绪,对马丁的义愤越来越严重。没有人愿意跟一个相信社会主义的卖国贼有来往。可怜的玛利亚也糊涂了,害怕了。可她对他还忠实。附近的孩子们摆脱了从拜访马丁的大马车所引起的敬畏之情,躲在安全的距离以外叫他“二流子”、“瘪三”。可是西尔伐家的孩子们仍然忠心耿耿地保卫着他,为了他的荣誉不止一次安营扎寨大打出手。眼睛打乌鼻子出血在那段时间成了家常便饭,那叫玛利亚更加惶惑、更加烦恼了。

有一回马丁在奥克兰街上遇见了格特露,听她说了些他知道必然会发生的事——伯纳德·希金波坦因为他在公众面前丢了全家人的脸对他大为光火,不许他再进他的屋。

“你怎么不离开这儿,马丁?”格特露求他,“到别的什么地方去找个工作,安定下来吧。等这阵风刮过了再回来。”

马丁摇摇头,却没有解释。他能怎么解释?他和他的家人之间大张着一个可怕的智力鸿沟,他为那鸿沟感到恐怖。他无法跨越那鸿沟向他们解释自己的立场——他对社会主义的尼采式的立场。在英语里,在一切语言里,都找不到足够的词汇去向他们解释清楚他的态度和行为。在他们心目中他的良好行为的最高观念就是找个工作。那就是他们的第一个也是最后一个意见,也就是他们思想的全部词汇。找一份工作!干活儿去!可怜的、愚昧的奴隶们,他想道。他姐姐还在说话。难怪世界属于强者。奴隶们都为自己能做奴隶感到陶醉呢。一份工作便是他们崇拜的黄金偶像,他们在工作面前五体投地,顶礼膜拜。

格特震要给他钱,他又摇了摇头,虽然他明白那天他就非得去上当铺不可。

“现在可别到伯纳德身边去,”她急忙劝告他,“你若是愿意,等他几个月以后冷静下来,可以让他把开送货车的工作给你。需要我的时候就通知我,我会立即来的,别忘了。”

她走掉了,他能听见她的哭声。望着她那沉重的身影和蹒跚的脚步,一阵凄凉的辛酸不禁穿过他。心里。他望着她走掉时,他那尼采式的华厦似乎动摇了,垮塌了。抽象的奴隶阶级倒没有什么,但是奴隶阶级到了自己家里就不那么圆满了。而且,若是真有什么奴隶在受到强者蹂躏的话,那就是他的姐姐格特露。面临着这个矛盾怪圈他放肆地笑了。好个尼采的信徒!他那理性的思想竟会团第一次的情绪波动而动摇——是的,因奴隶道德而动摇,因为他对他的姐姐的怜悯事实上便是奴隶道德。真正高贵的人是超越怜悯和同情的。怜悯和同情产生于关押和贩卖奴隶的地窖里,不过是挤成一团的受苦者和软弱者的痛苦和汗水而已。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 38楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  38


"Come on, let's go down to the local." So spoke Brissenden, faint from a hemorrhage of half an hour before - the second hemorrhage in three days. The perennial whiskey glass was in his hands, and he drained it with shaking fingers.




"What do I want with socialism?" Martin demanded.




"Outsiders are allowed five-minute speeches," the sick man urged. "Get up and spout. Tell them why you don't want socialism. Tell them what you think about them and their ghetto ethics. Slam Nietzsche into them and get walloped for your pains. Make a scrap of it. It will do them good. Discussion is what they want, and what you want, too. You see, I'd like to see you a socialist before I'm gone. It will give you a sanction for your existence. It is the one thing that will save you in the time of disappointment that is coming to you."




"I never can puzzle out why you, of all men, are a socialist," Martin pondered. "You detest the crowd so. Surely there is nothing in the canaille to recommend it to your aesthetic soul." He pointed an accusing finger at the whiskey glass which the other was refilling. "Socialism doesn't seem to save you."




"I'm very sick," was the answer. "With you it is different. You have health and much to live for, and you must be handcuffed to life somehow. As for me, you wonder why I am a socialist. I'll tell you. It is because Socialism is inevitable; because the present rotten and irrational system cannot endure; because the day is past for your man on horseback. The slaves won't stand for it. They are too many, and willy-nilly they'll drag down the would-be equestrian before ever he gets astride. You can't get away from them, and you'll have to swallow the whole slave-morality. It's not a nice mess, I'll allow. But it's been a-brewing and swallow it you must. You are antediluvian anyway, with your Nietzsche ideas. The past is past, and the man who says history repeats itself is a liar. Of course I don't like the crowd, but what's a poor chap to do? We can't have the man on horseback, and anything is preferable to the timid swine that now rule. But come on, anyway. I'm loaded to the guards now, and if I sit here any longer, I'll get drunk. And you know the doctor says - damn the doctor! I'll fool him yet."




It was Sunday night, and they found the small hall packed by the Oakland socialists, chiefly members of the working class. The speaker, a clever Jew, won Martin's admiration at the same time that he aroused his antagonism. The man's stooped and narrow shoulders and weazened chest proclaimed him the true child of the crowded ghetto, and strong on Martin was the age-long struggle of the feeble, wretched slaves against the lordly handful of men who had ruled over them and would rule over them to the end of time. To Martin this withered wisp of a creature was a symbol. He was the figure that stood forth representative of the whole miserable mass of weaklings and inefficients who perished according to biological law on the ragged confines of life. They were the unfit. In spite of their cunning philosophy and of their antlike proclivities for cooperation, Nature rejected them for the exceptional man. Out of the plentiful spawn of life she flung from her prolific hand she selected only the best. It was by the same method that men, aping her, bred race-horses and cucumbers. Doubtless, a creator of a Cosmos could have devised a better method; but creatures of this particular Cosmos must put up with this particular method. Of course, they could squirm as they perished, as the socialists squirmed, as the speaker on the platform and the perspiring crowd were squirming even now as they counselled together for some new device with which to minimize the penalties of living and outwit the Cosmos.




So Martin thought, and so he spoke when Brissenden urged him to give them hell. He obeyed the mandate, walking up to the platform, as was the custom, and addressing the chairman. He began in a low voice, haltingly, forming into order the ideas which had surged in his brain while the Jew was speaking. In such meetings five minutes was the time allotted to each speaker; but when Martin's five minutes were up, he was in full stride, his attack upon their doctrines but half completed. He had caught their interest, and the audience urged the chairman by acclamation to extend Martin's time. They appreciated him as a foeman worthy of their intellect, and they listened intently, following every word. He spoke with fire and conviction, mincing no words in his attack upon the slaves and their morality and tactics and frankly alluding to his hearers as the slaves in question. He quoted Spencer and Malthus, and enunciated the biological law of development.




"And so," he concluded, in a swift resume, "no state composed of the slave-types can endure. The old law of development still holds. In the struggle for existence, as I have shown, the strong and the progeny of the strong tend to survive, while the weak and the progeny of the weak are crushed and tend to perish. The result is that the strong and the progeny of the strong survive, and, so long as the struggle obtains, the strength of each generation increases. That is development. But you slaves - it is too bad to be slaves, I grant - but you slaves dream of a society where the law of development will be annulled, where no weaklings and inefficients will perish, where every inefficient will have as much as he wants to eat as many times a day as he desires, and where all will marry and have progeny - the weak as well as the strong. What will be the result? No longer will the strength and life-value of each generation increase. On the contrary, it will diminish. There is the Nemesis of your slave philosophy. Your society of slaves - of, by, and for, slaves - must inevitably weaken and go to pieces as the life which composes it weakens and goes to pieces.




"Remember, I am enunciating biology and not sentimental ethics. No state of slaves can stand - "




"How about the United States?" a man yelled from the audience.




"And how about it?" Martin retorted. "The thirteen colonies threw off their rulers and formed the Republic so-called. The slaves were their own masters. There were no more masters of the sword. But you couldn't get along without masters of some sort, and there arose a new set of masters - not the great, virile, noble men, but the shrewd and spidery traders and money-lenders. And they enslaved you over again - but not frankly, as the true, noble men would do with weight of their own right arms, but secretly, by spidery machinations and by wheedling and cajolery and lies. They have purchased your slave judges, they have debauched your slave legislatures, and they have forced to worse horrors than chattel slavery your slave boys and girls. Two million of your children are toiling to-day in this trader-oligarchy of the United States. Ten millions of you slaves are not properly sheltered nor properly fed."




"But to return. I have shown that no society of slaves can endure, because, in its very nature, such society must annul the law of development. No sooner can a slave society be organized than deterioration sets in. It is easy for you to talk of annulling the law of development, but where is the new law of development that will maintain your strength? Formulate it. Is it already formulated? Then state it."




Martin took his seat amidst an uproar of voices. A score of men were on their feet clamoring for recognition from the chair. And one by one, encouraged by vociferous applause, speaking with fire and enthusiasm and excited gestures, they replied to the attack. It was a wild night - but it was wild intellectually, a battle of ideas. Some strayed from the point, but most of the speakers replied directly to Martin. They shook him with lines of thought that were new to him; and gave him insights, not into new biological laws, but into new applications of the old laws. They were too earnest to be always polite, and more than once the chairman rapped and pounded for order.




It chanced that a cub reporter sat in the audience, detailed there on a day dull of news and impressed by the urgent need of journalism for sensation. He was not a bright cub reporter. He was merely facile and glib. He was too dense to follow the discussion. In fact, he had a comfortable feeling that he was vastly superior to these wordy maniacs of the working class. Also, he had a great respect for those who sat in the high places and dictated the policies of nations and newspapers. Further, he had an ideal, namely, of achieving that excellence of the perfect reporter who is able to make something - even a great deal - out of nothing.




He did not know what all the talk was about. It was not necessary. Words like REVOLUTION gave him his cue. Like a paleontologist, able to reconstruct an entire skeleton from one fossil bone, he was able to reconstruct a whole speech from the one word REVOLUTION. He did it that night, and he did it well; and since Martin had made the biggest stir, he put it all into his mouth and made him the arch-anarch of the show, transforming his reactionary individualism into the most lurid, red-shirt socialist utterance. The cub reporter was an artist, and it was a large brush with which he laid on the local color - wild-eyed long-haired men, neurasthenia and degenerate types of men, voices shaken with passion, clenched fists raised on high, and all projected against a background of oaths, yells, and the throaty rumbling of angry men.
“来吧,咱们到区分部去。”

布里森登说。他半小时以前才吐了血,仍然头晕目眩——三天来他已是第二次吐血。他手上仍然照例擎着威士忌酒杯,手指颤抖着喝光了酒。

“社会主义对我有什么用?”马丁问道。

“非党员可以发表五分钟讲话,”病人劝他,“你准备放一炮吧,告诉他们你为什么不需要社会主义,把你对他们和他们那贫民窟道德的意见告诉他们;拿尼采去教训他们,让他们因此跟你辩论,然后粉碎他们。那对他们会有好处。他们需要的就是辩论,你也一样需要辩论。你看,我倒希望在去世之前看见你变成社会主义者,那能批准你活下去。你以后准会遇见失望的,那时只有社会主义能救你。”

“你竟是个社会主义者,我怎么也想不通,”马丁思索着说,“你这么讨厌群氓。那些身合之众肯定不会有什么能打动你审美灵魂的地方的。”布里森登正在斟满酒杯,马丁伸出一根指头责难地指着他。“社会主义似乎没有法子救你的命。”

“我已经病入膏盲,”他回答说,“可你不同。你身强力壮,还有许多值得活着去追求的东西,因此非得跟生活铐在一起不可。至于我,你不懂我为什么成了个社会主义者。找告诉你吧,因为社会主义是无法避免的;因为目前这种腐朽的不合理的制度是长不了的,而你那马背上的人又已经过时。奴隶们是不会忍受他的。奴隶太多,无论他们愿不愿意,不等你那人跨上马背,已经被他们拉了下来。你摆脱不了他们的奴隶道德,只好接受。我承认那种混乱不能算好,可它已经在酝酿,你只好把它囫囵吞下去。你那尼采思想早过了时,那位硬说历史会重演的人是个骗子。我当然不会喜欢乌合之众,但是像我这样的人能有什么办法?马背上的人是没有了,可无论什么人来统治也要比现在这批胆怯的猪猡强。现在,好了,我已经有点晕晕忽忽了,再坐下去怕会醉倒的。医生说过,你知道,——让医生滚蛋吧!我还要糊弄糊弄他。”

那是星期天晚上,他们发现那小厅里挤满了奥克兰的社会主义者,主要是工人阶级的成员。发言的人是个聪明的犹太人,他使马丁钦佩,也叫他气闷。那人的塌陷的窄肩和萎缩的胸膛宣布他的确是个在拥挤不堪的犹太贫民窟里长大的孩子。他给了马丁一个强烈的印象:瘦弱的困苦的奴隶们尽管为反对那一小撮趾高气扬的统治者进行了许多代人的斗争,叶仍然受着他们统治,而巨还要永远被统治下去。马丁觉得这个萎缩的生灵便是一个象征,一个突出的形象,代表着整个可怜的软弱无能的群体,按照生物学的规律在生命的狭窄崎岖的天地早被消灭掉,因为他们不是“适者”。大自然为了给超人让路,拒绝了他们,没有理会他们狡猾的哲学和蚂蚁一样的合作天性。她在用她那丰盈的手撒播出的会公众生里只选拔出最优秀的人;而人类也跟大自然一样用这种方法在繁殖看黄瓜和赛跑用的马。毫无疑问,宇宙的创造者是能够设计出更好的方法的;但是这个特定的宇宙里的生物却只好接受这个特定的方法。当然,他们在被消灭时可以蠕动挣扎,正像此刻社会主义者们在蠕动挣扎,台上那个发言人在蠕动挣扎,现在流着汗的人群在蠕动挣扎一样。他们正在商量新的办法,要想竭力减少生活的鞭挞,击败宇宙的法则。

马丁像这样想着,布里森登却建议他去教训他们一顿。于是他发了言。他服从命令,按照习惯走上讲台,向主席致了意。什始时他的声音低沉而犹豫,同时把听那犹太人说话时沸腾在脑子里的想法整理出了头绪。这种会议给每个发言人的时间只有五分钟,但是马丁的五分钟用完时他却正讲到要紧之处,他对他们的学说的攻击才进行到一半,但已引起了听众的兴趣。他们鼓掌要求主席给他延长时间。他们欣赏他,认为他是个值得他们使用智慧对待的对手,于是听得很仔细,一字不漏。他感情炽烈,信心十足,他攻击奴隶们和他们的策略和道德观念,而且直言不讳,坦率地向听众们暗示他们就是那些奴隶。他引用了斯宾塞和马尔萨斯的话,阐述了生物发展的规律。

“因此,”他迅速作出结论,“古老的发展规律仍然有效,奴隶型的人构成的国家是不能持久的。正如我已经指出的,在生存竞争之中强者和他们的子孙更适于生存,而弱者和他们的子孙则要被碾碎,被消灭。其结果是,强者和强者的子孙会生存下去,而只要斗争仍然继续八就会一代比一代更加出色,这就叫做发展。可是你们这些奴隶——我承认,做奴隶是很痛苦的——可你们却梦想着一个发展规律被消灭而弱者和无能者不会被消灭的社会,在那里无能的人每天想吃多少顿就能吃多少顿,都能结婚,都能生育后代——强者弱者没有区别。结果怎么样呢?人的强力和生命的价值不是一代一代增加,反倒一代一代削弱了。复仇女神会给你们的奴隶哲学以报应的。你们那奴隶治、奴隶有。奴隶享的社会一定会随着构成它的生命的削弱和崩溃而垮掉的。

“记住,我阐述的不是感伤的伦理道德而是生物科学。没有一个奴隶的社会能够经得起——”

“那么美国会怎么样呢?”听众里有人叫了起来。

“它会怎么样?”马丁反驳,“北美十三州当年推翻了他们的统治者,建立了一个北美共和国。奴隶们成了自己的主人。再也没有握着刀子的奴隶主了。可是没有某种意义上的主人你们过不下去,于是出现了一批新主人——不是那种伟大的、精力充沛的、高贵的人,而是些蜘蛛一样的精明的生意人,放债人。他们重新奴役看你们——可并不是坦率地奴役,像那些真诚的高贵的、用右手的高压统治你们的人,而是像蜘蛛一样用阴谋、谎言和甜言蜜语阴险地统治你们的人。他们收买你们的奴隶法官,败坏你们的奴隶议会,用比最恶劣的奴役还要可怕的形式奴役你们的奴隶子女。今天在美国,你们有两百万子女在这种生意人的寡头专制之下做苦工,有一千万人缺吃少住。

“不过,话又说回来,我曾经告诉过你们,奴隶社会是长不了的,因为就其本性而言,这样的社会必须消灭发展规律。奴隶的社会一开始组织,立即会蜕变。你们侈谈消灭发展规律,那倒容易,但是能让你保留自己力量的新发展规律又在哪里?提出来吧?是不是已经提出来了?要是提出来了你们说说看。”

马丁在一片哄闹声中回到了座位。一二十个人站了起来,叫喊着要求主席同意发言。他们一个个受到喧闹的欢呼鼓掌的鼓励,怀着火焰和激情,打着激动的手势,回答了对他们的攻击。那是个疯狂的夜晚,但是是智力的疯狂,是思想的交锋。有的人偏离了话题,但是大部分都直接反击了马丁。他们用一些他从没有听见过的思路震撼了他,启发了他,他们并没有提出什么生物学的新规律,而是启示他从新的角度使用旧规律。他们太真诚,不可能永远有礼貌。主席不只一次敲桌子。捶桌子维持秩序。

碰巧那天听众里坐了个半瓶醋记者,是在那个到处是新闻的日子里被派来的。他心急火燎,只想搞到轰动的新闻。作为新手,他不太能干,只会检便宜和信口开河。他没有思想,听不懂他们的讨论,实际上他还有一种高人一等的得意之感,觉得自己比工人阶级这些学里罗嗦的疯子不知要高明多少。他也对身居高位指挥着国家政策和报纸的人必恭必敬,而且有个理想,要出人头地,做一个十全十美的记者,哪怕无中生有也要弄出点名堂——甚至是大名堂来。

这场谈话的意义他并不懂得,也用不着横。革命这类字眼就已经给了他线索。他从革命这一个词就可以虚构出整个的发言,就像古生物学家靠一块骨骼化石就可以建造出一副完整的骨架一样。那天晚上他就是那样搞的,而且搞得很漂亮。由于马丁的发言最引起轰动,他便把一切都写进了马丁嘴里,把他变成了那番骚动里的无政府主义元凶,把他那反动的个人主义理论改造成了最阴险的。穿赤色短衫的社会主义的发泄。那半瓶醋记者是个艺术家,大笔一挥,还加上了些现场色彩——目光疯狂长发飘动的人,神经质的蜕化型的人,激动得发抖的声音,高举的捏紧的拳头,这一切的背景则是愤怒的人们的咒骂、喊叫和低沉的咆哮。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 37楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  37


The first thing Martin did next morning was to go counter both to Brissenden's advice and command. "The Shame of the Sun" he wrapped and mailed to THE ACROPOLIS. He believed he could find magazine publication for it, and he felt that recognition by the magazines would commend him to the book-publishing houses. "Ephemera" he likewise wrapped and mailed to a magazine. Despite Brissenden's prejudice against the magazines, which was a pronounced mania with him, Martin decided that the great poem should see print. He did not intend, however, to publish it without the other's permission. His plan was to get it accepted by one of the high magazines, and, thus armed, again to wrestle with Brissenden for consent.




Martin began, that morning, a story which he had sketched out a number of weeks before and which ever since had been worrying him with its insistent clamor to be created. Apparently it was to be a rattling sea story, a tale of twentieth-century adventure and romance, handling real characters, in a real world, under real conditions. But beneath the swing and go of the story was to be something else - something that the superficial reader would never discern and which, on the other hand, would not diminish in any way the interest and enjoyment for such a reader. It was this, and not the mere story, that impelled Martin to write it. For that matter, it was always the great, universal motif that suggested plots to him. After having found such a motif, he cast about for the particular persons and particular location in time and space wherewith and wherein to utter the universal thing. "Overdue" was the title he had decided for it, and its length he believed would not be more than sixty thousand words - a bagatelle for him with his splendid vigor of production. On this first day he took hold of it with conscious delight in the mastery of his tools. He no longer worried for fear that the sharp, cutting edges should slip and mar his work. The long months of intense application and study had brought their reward. He could now devote himself with sure hand to the larger phases of the thing he shaped; and as he worked, hour after hour, he felt, as never before, the sure and cosmic grasp with which he held life and the affairs of life. "Overdue" would tell a story that would be true of its particular characters and its particular events; but it would tell, too, he was confident, great vital things that would be true of all time, and all sea, and all life - thanks to Herbert Spencer, he thought, leaning back for a moment from the table. Ay, thanks to Herbert Spencer and to the master-key of life, evolution, which Spencer had placed in his hands.




He was conscious that it was great stuff he was writing. "It will go! It will go!" was the refrain that kept, sounding in his ears. Of course it would go. At last he was turning out the thing at which the magazines would jump. The whole story worked out before him in lightning flashes. He broke off from it long enough to write a paragraph in his note-book. This would be the last paragraph in "Overdue"; but so thoroughly was the whole book already composed in his brain that he could write, weeks before he had arrived at the end, the end itself. He compared the tale, as yet unwritten, with the tales of the sea-writers, and he felt it to be immeasurably superior. "There's only one man who could touch it," he murmured aloud, "and that's Conrad. And it ought to make even him sit up and shake hands with me, and say, 'Well done, Martin, my boy.'"




He toiled on all day, recollecting, at the last moment, that he was to have dinner at the Morses'. Thanks to Brissenden, his black suit was out of pawn and he was again eligible for dinner parties. Down town he stopped off long enough to run into the library and search for Saleeby's books. He drew out 'The Cycle of Life," and on the car turned to the essay Norton had mentioned on Spencer. As Martin read, he grew angry. His face flushed, his jaw set, and unconsciously his hand clenched, unclenched, and clenched again as if he were taking fresh grips upon some hateful thing out of which he was squeezing the life. When he left the car, he strode along the sidewalk as a wrathful man will stride, and he rang the Morse bell with such viciousness that it roused him to consciousness of his condition, so that he entered in good nature, smiling with amusement at himself. No sooner, however, was he inside than a great depression descended upon him. He fell from the height where he had been up-borne all day on the wings of inspiration. "Bourgeois," "trader's den" - Brissenden's epithets repeated themselves in his mind. But what of that? he demanded angrily. He was marrying Ruth, not her family.




It seemed to him that he had never seen Ruth more beautiful, more spiritual and ethereal and at the same time more healthy. There was color in her cheeks, and her eyes drew him again and again - the eyes in which he had first read immortality. He had forgotten immortality of late, and the trend of his scientific reading had been away from it; but here, in Ruth's eyes, he read an argument without words that transcended all worded arguments. He saw that in her eyes before which all discussion fled away, for he saw love there. And in his own eyes was love; and love was unanswerable. Such was his passionate doctrine.




The half hour he had with her, before they went in to dinner, left him supremely happy and supremely satisfied with life. Nevertheless, at table, the inevitable reaction and exhaustion consequent upon the hard day seized hold of him. He was aware that his eyes were tired and that he was irritable. He remembered it was at this table, at which he now sneered and was so often bored, that he had first eaten with civilized beings in what he had imagined was an atmosphere of high culture and refinement. He caught a glimpse of that pathetic figure of him, so long ago, a self-conscious savage, sprouting sweat at every pore in an agony of apprehension, puzzled by the bewildering minutiae of eating- implements, tortured by the ogre of a servant, striving at a leap to live at such dizzy social altitude, and deciding in the end to be frankly himself, pretending no knowledge and no polish he did not possess.




He glanced at Ruth for reassurance, much in the same manner that a passenger, with sudden panic thought of possible shipwreck, will strive to locate the life preservers. Well, that much had come out of it - love and Ruth. All the rest had failed to stand the test of the books. But Ruth and love had stood the test; for them he found a biological sanction. Love was the most exalted expression of life. Nature had been busy designing him, as she had been busy with all normal men, for the purpose of loving. She had spent ten thousand centuries - ay, a hundred thousand and a million centuries - upon the task, and he was the best she could do. She had made love the strongest thing in him, increased its power a myriad per cent with her gift of imagination, and sent him forth into the ephemera to thrill and melt and mate. His hand sought Ruth's hand beside him hidden by the table, and a warm pressure was given and received. She looked at him a swift instant, and her eyes were radiant and melting. So were his in the thrill that pervaded him; nor did he realize how much that was radiant and melting in her eyes had been aroused by what she had seen in his.




Across the table from him, cater-cornered, at Mr. Morse's right, sat Judge Blount, a local superior court judge. Martin had met him a number of times and had failed to like him. He and Ruth's father were discussing labor union politics, the local situation, and socialism, and Mr. Morse was endeavoring to twit Martin on the latter topic. At last Judge Blount looked across the table with benignant and fatherly pity. Martin smiled to himself.




"You'll grow out of it, young man," he said soothingly. "Time is the best cure for such youthful distempers." He turned to Mr. Morse. "I do not believe discussion is good in such cases. It makes the patient obstinate."




"That is true," the other assented gravely. "But it is well to warn the patient occasionally of his condition."




Martin laughed merrily, but it was with an effort. The day had been too long, the day's effort too intense, and he was deep in the throes of the reaction.




"Undoubtedly you are both excellent doctors," he said; "but if you care a whit for the opinion of the patient, let him tell you that you are poor diagnosticians. In fact, you are both suffering from the disease you think you find in me. As for me, I am immune. The socialist philosophy that riots half-baked in your veins has passed me by."




"Clever, clever," murmured the judge. "An excellent ruse in controversy, to reverse positions."




"Out of your mouth." Martin's eyes were sparkling, but he kept control of himself. "You see, Judge, I've heard your campaign speeches. By some henidical process - henidical, by the way is a favorite word of mine which nobody understands - by some henidical process you persuade yourself that you believe in the competitive system and the survival of the strong, and at the same time you indorse with might and main all sorts of measures to shear the strength from the strong."




"My young man - "




"Remember, I've heard your campaign speeches," Martin warned. "It's on record, your position on interstate commerce regulation, on regulation of the railway trust and Standard Oil, on the conservation of the forests, on a thousand and one restrictive measures that are nothing else than socialistic."




"Do you mean to tell me that you do not believe in regulating these various outrageous exercises of power?"




"That's not the point. I mean to tell you that you are a poor diagnostician. I mean to tell you that I am not suffering from the microbe of socialism. I mean to tell you that it is you who are suffering from the emasculating ravages of that same microbe. As for me, I am an inveterate opponent of socialism just as I am an inveterate opponent of your own mongrel democracy that is nothing else than pseudo-socialism masquerading under a garb of words that will not stand the test of the dictionary."




"I am a reactionary - so complete a reactionary that my position is incomprehensible to you who live in a veiled lie of social organization and whose sight is not keen enough to pierce the veil. You make believe that you believe in the survival of the strong and the rule of the strong. I believe. That is the difference. When I was a trifle younger, - a few months younger, - I believed the same thing. You see, the ideas of you and yours had impressed me. But merchants and traders are cowardly rulers at best; they grunt and grub all their days in the trough of money-getting, and I have swung back to aristocracy, if you please. I am the only individualist in this room. I look to the state for nothing. I look only to the strong man, the man on horseback, to save the state from its own rotten futility."




"Nietzsche was right. I won't take the time to tell you who Nietzsche was, but he was right. The world belongs to the strong - to the strong who are noble as well and who do not wallow in the swine-trough of trade and exchange. The world belongs to the true nobleman, to the great blond beasts, to the noncompromisers, to the 'yes-sayers.' And they will eat you up, you socialists - who are afraid of socialism and who think yourselves individualists. Your slave-morality of the meek and lowly will never save you. - Oh, it's all Greek, I know, and I won't bother you any more with it. But remember one thing. There aren't half a dozen individualists in Oakland, but Martin Eden is one of them."




He signified that he was done with the discussion, and turned to Ruth.




"I'm wrought up to-day," he said in an undertone. "All I want to do is to love, not talk."




He ignored Mr. Morse, who said:-




"I am unconvinced. All socialists are Jesuits. That is the way to tell them."




"We'll make a good Republican out of you yet," said Judge Blount.




"The man on horseback will arrive before that time," Martin retorted with good humor, and returned to Ruth.




But Mr. Morse was not content. He did not like the laziness and the disinclination for sober, legitimate work of this prospective son-in-law of his, for whose ideas he had no respect and of whose nature he had no understanding. So he turned the conversation to Herbert Spencer. Judge Blount ably seconded him, and Martin, whose ears had pricked at the first mention of the philosopher's name, listened to the judge enunciate a grave and complacent diatribe against Spencer. From time to time Mr. Morse glanced at Martin, as much as to say, "There, my boy, you see."




"Chattering daws," Martin muttered under his breath, and went on talking with Ruth and Arthur.




But the long day and the "real dirt" of the night before were telling upon him; and, besides, still in his burnt mind was what had made him angry when he read it on the car.




"What is the matter?" Ruth asked suddenly alarmed by the effort he was making to contain himself.




"There is no god but the Unknowable, and Herbert Spencer is its prophet," Judge Blount was saying at that moment.




Martin turned upon him.




"A cheap judgment," he remarked quietly. "I heard it first in the City Hall Park, on the lips of a workingman who ought to have known better. I have heard it often since, and each time the clap-trap of it nauseates me. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. To hear that great and noble man's name upon your lips is like finding a dew-drop in a cesspool. You are disgusting."




It was like a thunderbolt. Judge Blount glared at him with apoplectic countenance, and silence reigned. Mr. Morse was secretly pleased. He could see that his daughter was shocked. It was what he wanted to do - to bring out the innate ruffianism of this man he did not like.




Ruth's hand sought Martin's beseechingly under the table, but his blood was up. He was inflamed by the intellectual pretence and fraud of those who sat in the high places. A Superior Court Judge! It was only several years before that he had looked up from the mire at such glorious entities and deemed them gods.




Judge Blount recovered himself and attempted to go on, addressing himself to Martin with an assumption of politeness that the latter understood was for the benefit of the ladies. Even this added to his anger. Was there no honesty in the world?




"You can't discuss Spencer with me," he cried. "You do not know any more about Spencer than do his own countrymen. But it is no fault of yours, I grant. It is just a phase of the contemptible ignorance of the times. I ran across a sample of it on my way here this evening. I was reading an essay by Saleeby on Spencer. You should read it. It is accessible to all men. You can buy it in any book-store or draw it from the public library. You would feel ashamed of your paucity of abuse and ignorance of that noble man compared with what Saleeby has collected on the subject. It is a record of shame that would shame your shame."




"'The philosopher of the half-educated,' he was called by an academic Philosopher who was not worthy to pollute the atmosphere he breathed. I don't think you have read ten pages of Spencer, but there have been critics, assumably more intelligent than you, who have read no more than you of Spencer, who publicly challenged his followers to adduce one single idea from all his writings - from Herbert Spencer's writings, the man who has impressed the stamp of his genius over the whole field of scientific research and modern thought; the father of psychology; the man who revolutionized pedagogy, so that to-day the child of the French peasant is taught the three R's according to principles laid down by him. And the little gnats of men sting his memory when they get their very bread and butter from the technical application of his ideas. What little of worth resides in their brains is largely due to him. It is certain that had he never lived, most of what is correct in their parrot-learned knowledge would be absent."




"And yet a man like Principal Fairbanks of Oxford - a man who sits in an even higher place than you, Judge Blount - has said that Spencer will be dismissed by posterity as a poet and dreamer rather than a thinker. Yappers and blatherskites, the whole brood of them! '"First Principles" is not wholly destitute of a certain literary power,' said one of them. And others of them have said that he was an industrious plodder rather than an original thinker. Yappers and blatherskites! Yappers and blatherskites!"




Martin ceased abruptly, in a dead silence. Everybody in Ruth's family looked up to Judge Blount as a man of power and achievement, and they were horrified at Martin's outbreak. The remainder of the dinner passed like a funeral, the judge and Mr. Morse confining their talk to each other, and the rest of the conversation being extremely desultory. Then afterward, when Ruth and Martin were alone, there was a scene.




"You are unbearable," she wept.




But his anger still smouldered, and he kept muttering, "The beasts! The beasts!"




When she averred he had insulted the judge, he retorted:-




"By telling the truth about him?"




"I don't care whether it was true or not," she insisted. "There are certain bounds of decency, and you had no license to insult anybody."




"Then where did Judge Blount get the license to assault truth?" Martin demanded. "Surely to assault truth is a more serious misdemeanor than to insult a pygmy personality such as the judge's. He did worse than that. He blackened the name of a great, noble man who is dead. Oh, the beasts! The beasts!"




His complex anger flamed afresh, and Ruth was in terror of him. Never had she seen him so angry, and it was all mystified and unreasonable to her comprehension. And yet, through her very terror ran the fibres of fascination that had drawn and that still drew her to him - that had compelled her to lean towards him, and, in that mad, culminating moment, lay her hands upon his neck. She was hurt and outraged by what had taken place, and yet she lay in his arms and quivered while he went on muttering, "The beasts! The beasts!" And she still lay there when he said: "I'll not bother your table again, dear. They do not like me, and it is wrong of me to thrust my objectionable presence upon them. Besides, they are just as objectionable to me. Faugh! They are sickening. And to think of it, I dreamed in my innocence that the persons who sat in the high places, who lived in fine houses and had educations and bank accounts, were worth while!
马丁次日早上所干的第一件事和布里森登的劝告和命令恰好相反。他把《太阳的耻辱》装进信封,寄给了《卫城》杂志。他相信他能找到杂志发表。他觉得作品一经杂志赏识,就会给书籍出版社以良好的印象。他也把《蜉蝣》封好寄给了一家杂志。他不顾市里森登对杂志的成见(他认为那显然是一种偏执),认为那首伟大的诗歌是能够在杂志上发表的。他并不打算在没有得到对方同意的时候就发表,他的计划是先让一家高级杂志接受,然后以此和布里森登讨价还价,取得他的同意。

那天早上马丁开始了另一篇小说,那小说他几个礼拜以前就已有了轮廓,一直在他心里骚动,令他不安,要求他完成。显然它肯定会是一篇响当当的航海小说,一个二十世纪的浪漫的冒险故事,描写着真实世界卫真实条件下的真实人物。但是在故事的跌宕起伏之;司还有着另外的东西,那东西肤浅的读者虽然觉察不到,却也不会因任何形式而减少了兴趣和喜爱。迫使马丁写作的正是那东西,而不是故事本身。就这个意义而言,给他提供情节的一向是那伟大的普遍的主题。在他发现了这样的主题之后他便冥思苦想,寻求那独恃的人物和独特的环境,用以表达那具有普遍意义的东西的时间和地点。他决心把小说命名为《过期》,他相信它会在六万字以上——这在他那旺盛的创作精力面前简直是举手之劳。在这第一天里他为自己写作得得心应手感到高兴。他不必再担心他的锋芒与棱角会冒出来破坏了作品。漫长的几个月的紧张的实践和研究已经取得了回报。他现在可以满有把握地从大处着眼安排自己的主要精力了。他一小时一小时地写下去,对生命和生命中的事物感到了一种前所未有的规律性和确切性。《过期》所描写的故事对于它特有的角色和事件而言将会真实可信,但他也有信心它能描述出对于一切时代、一切海洋和一切生活都真实的、举足轻重的伟大的东西——这得感谢赫伯特·斯宾塞,他想,身子往后靠了一靠。是的,应该感谢赫伯特·斯宾塞,是他把进化论这把万能钥匙放到了他手里的。

他意识到他在写着伟大的作品。“准会成功!准会成功!”是反复震响在他头脑里的调子。当然会成功的。他终于要写出各家杂志争着想要的作品了。那故事在他面前像闪电一样完完整整地显露了出来。他暂时把它放下,在他的笔记本里写下了一段。那一段是《过期》的收尾。那整个的作品的构思在他脑子里已经非常完整,他可以在写到结尾之前几个星期就写下它的结尾。他把这还没有写出的故事跟别的海洋作家的故事一比较,便觉得它比它们不知道要高明多少倍。“只有一个人能赶得上,”他喃喃地说,“那就是康拉德。我这部作品甚至能叫康拉德吃一惊,来和我握手,说:‘写得好,马丁,我的孩子。’”

他苦苦地写了一天,写到最后忽然想起还要去莫尔斯家参加晚宴。谢谢布里森登,他的黑礼服已经从当铺赎了出来,他又有资格参加晚会了。进城后他花了一点时间到图书馆找撒里比的书。他找出了《生命周期》,在车上读起了诺尔屯提到的那篇批评斯宾塞的文章。读时不禁生起气来。他的脸红了,牙关咬紧了,拳头不知不觉攥了起来,放开,又攥了起来,仿佛在攥着什么可恶的东西,想把它捏死。他下了车便像个暴怒的人一样在路边大踏步走着,直到狠狠按响了莫尔斯家的门铃,才猛醒过来,意识到自己的心惰,觉得好笑,然后才心平气和地进了门。但是他一进门,一种严重的阴暗情绪却突然笼罩了他,那天他整天都乘着灵感的翅膀在九天上翱翔,现在却又落到了尘世。“布尔乔亚”,“市侩窝子”——布里森登的用语在他心里一再出现。但那又怎么样?他愤怒地问,他要娶的是露丝,不是她家里的人。

他仿佛觉得露丝是从来没有过地美丽、超脱、空灵,却又健康,面颊嫣红。那双眼睛一再地引得他注视——而让他第一次读到了永恒的正是那双眼睛。最近他已忘掉了永恒,他读的科学著作使他离开了永恒。但是在这儿,在露丝的眼睛里,他又读到了一种凌驾于一切言语论证之上的无言的理论。他看见一切的辩论都在她那双眼睛面前落荒而逃,因为在那儿他看见了爱情。他自己眼里也满溢着爱情,而爱情是不容反驳的,那是他激情的信念。

在进去用餐前和露丝一起度过的半小时使他感到了极端的幸福,对生活的极端满足。但是一上桌子,一天的辛苦所造成的无可奈何的反应和疲劳却抓住了他。他意识到自己目光倦怠,心惰烦躁。他回忆起自己当初就是在这张桌子旁第一次跟高雅人一起用餐的。那时地以为那就是高雅的文明气氛,可现在他却对它嗤之以鼻,只觉得厌恶了,他又瞥见了自己当时那可怜的形象:一个意识到自己钓的粗野的粗汉,怀着痛苦的恐惧,浑身毛孔都冒着汗。那已是很久以前的事:他曾叫餐具的繁文褥节弄得不知所措,受着个妖魔一样的传者的折磨,竭尽全力想攀上这叫人头晕的社会高层,到最后却决定坦然地表现自己,决不不懂装懂,决不冒充风雅。

他瞥了一眼露丝,想求得镇静,像个突然害怕船只沉没而心慌意乱急于找救生衣的乘客。行了,他已经大有收获了——他得到了爱情和露丝。别的一切都没有经受住书本的考验,但露丝和爱情却经受住了。对两者他还找到了生物学上的认可。爱情是生命的最崇高的表现;为了爱情的目的,大自然一直在忙着设计他,也忙着设计一切正常的人。为了这项工程大自然已经花去了一百个世纪——是的,花去了十万个世纪一百万个世纪,而他则是大自然的最佳杰作。大自然已把爱情创造成了他生命中最强大的东西,给了他想像力,让爱情的力量十倍地增加;给了他短暂的生命以狂欢、销魂,让他求偶。他的手在桌子下面寻求着身边的露丝的手。一种温暖的压力彼此交流,她匆匆瞥了他一眼,眼神里露出了光彩和陶醉。他也一样,一阵欢乐透过全身,露出同样的神情。他还不知道露丝的陶醉里有多少正是来自他那陶醉的眼神。

他的桌于斜对面坐着当地高级法院的法官布朗特。马j和他见过几次面,却不喜欢他。布朗特法官正在跟露丝的父亲议论工会政治、当地形势和社会主义。莫尔斯先生正想就社会主义的问题嘲弄马丁一番。布朗特法官终于带着父亲式的慈爱怜悯地望着桌子对面的马丁。马丁心中暗暗好笑。

“随着年龄的增长你会抛弃它的,年轻人,”他安慰地说,“对于这一类幼稚的毛病,时间是最好的药物,”他掉头对莫尔斯先生说,“我相信对这类问题讨论是没有用处的。那只叫病人更加坚持。”

“不错,”对方郑重地表示同意,“不过随时提醒一下病人他的病情也是好的。”

马丁高兴地笑了,但有些勉强。那天日子太长,他感到太累,他的反应很痛苦。

“毫无疑问你们都是杰出的医生,”他说,“但是你们如果愿意听听病人的意见,那就让他来告诉你们吧,你们的处方可是并不高明。事实上两位正害着你们自以为在我身上看见的病。至于我么,我倒是免疫的。你们俩血管里骚动着的半吊子社会主义哲学对我倒是毫无作用。”

“妙语,妙语,”法官喃喃地说,“绝妙的辩论手法,这叫反客为主。”

“我可是从你的说法来的,”马丁眼里冒着火,却按捺住自己,“你看,法官,我听过你的竞选演说。你以某种‘憨匿’过程——附带说一句,‘憨匿’是我喜欢用的一种说法,别人是不大懂的——你以某种憨匿的过程让自己相信你是赞成竞争制度,强者生存的。而同时你却竭尽全力批准各种剥夺强者力量的措施。”

“我的年轻人——”

“记住,我听过你的竞选演说,”马丁警告说,“那是有记录在案的。你对州际贸易、铁路托拉斯、标准石油公司和森林资源所采取的限制立场,你对无数种限制措施所采取的立场都不是别的,而是社会主义的。”

“你是说你并不赞成限制这些无法无天的权力滥用么?”

“问题不在这里。我只是想告诉你你开的处方并不高明。我要告诉你我并不曾受到社会主义细菌的感染,而遭到社会主义细菌的削弱与破坏的正是你们自己。至于我么,我倒是个社会主义的死敌,也是你们那杂交的民主制度的死敌。你那招摇过市的东西不过是在某些词句的外衣掩护下的假社会主义,是经不起字典检验的。

“我是个反动分子,一个十足的反动分子,你们生活在一种盖着纱幕的社会组织的谎言之中,你们不够敏锐,看不透那纱幕,因此难于理解我的立场。我看你们是自以为相信强者生存、强者统治的理论。差别就在这里。我年轻一点的时候——几个月以前——我也相信过那理论。你看,你和你们的想法也曾经影响过我。但是,生意买卖人最多也不过是些没有魄力的统治者。只会一天到晚在赚钱发财的食槽里哼哼着,拱来拱去。可是,对不起,我已经掉回头去相信了贵族统治。我是这屋里唯一的个人主义者。我对国家无所求,我只对强者怀着希望。我希望那马背上的人能把国家从腐朽无能的统治之下拯救过来。

“尼采是对的。我不愿花时间来讲尼采是什么人,可他却是对的。世界属于强者,属于高贵的人,属于不在赚钱发财的猪槽里打滚的人。世界属于真正的高贵者,金头发白皮肤的伟大野兽,从不妥协的人,作出决断的人。而他们是会吃掉你们的,你们这些自命为个人主义者、其实是害怕社会主义的社会主义者们。你们这种案顺卑贱的奴隶道德救不了你们。啊,那对你们都太高深,我知道,我不再拿它来麻烦你们了。可是你们要记住一件事,在奥克兰个人主义者还不到半打,可马丁·伊登却是其中之一。”

他做出个姿势表示说完了话,然后转向了露丝。

“我今天有点激动,”他低声说,“我现在想的是爱情,不是说话。”

莫尔斯先生说话了,他却没有听;——

“你可没有说服我,所有的社会主义者都是阴谋家。那是鉴别他们的办法。”

“我们还是可以把你变成个优秀的共和党人的。”布朗特法官说。

“马背上的人在那时以前就会到来。”马丁心平气和地回答,又转身和露丝说话去了。

可是莫尔斯先生仍然不满意。他这未来的女婿又懒惰又不肯正经做工作,他不喜欢。他也瞧不起他的思想,不理解他的天性。于是他把讨论转向了赫伯特·斯宾塞。布朗特法官给了他强有力的支持。马丁一听见提到那位哲学家的名字耳朵就坚了起来。他听着法官一本正经踌躇满志地攻击着斯宾塞,仿佛是在说:“孩子,你听听。”

“乌鸦嘴。”马丁低声说了一句,又和露丝与亚瑟谈话去了。

但是那漫长的一天和昨天晚上那些“草芥之民”还在对他起着作用。而且他在车上读到的令他生气的东西还在他心里燃烧。

“是怎么回事?”露丝见他在压抑自己的怒气感到吃惊,突然问道。

“没有上帝,只有不可知之物,而赫伯特·斯宾塞就是它的先知。”这时布朗特法官正在说着。

马丁对地转过身去。

“不值钱的判断,”他冷冷地说,“我第一次听见这话是在市政厅公园。说话的是一个工人,他倒应该更懂事一点。从那以后我曾多次听见过这话,每一回那讨好卖乖劲都叫我作呕。你应该为自己感到丢脸的。从你的嘴里听见那高贵而伟大的人的名字简直就像见到一滴露珠落到了脏水塘里。你可真叫人恶心。”

这话简直像是个晴天霹雳。布朗特法官瞪大了眼望着他,一脸中了风的样子。满室沉默。莫尔斯先生私心窃喜。他看出他的女儿惶惑了。那正是他希望办到的事——把这个他所不喜欢的入内在的流氓气逗引出来。

露丝的手在桌下求情似的寻找着马丁的手。但是马丁的血已经涌了上来。身居高位者的智力上的假冒伪善令他怒火中烧。高等法院法官!不过几年以前他还在粪土甲仰望着这些光辉人物,把他们看作神灵呢。

布朗特法官镇定下来,打算继续说下去,他对马丁装出一副彬彬有礼的样子说话。马丁认为那是因为怕太太小姐们不安的缘故。这叫他更愤怒了。世界上难道就没有诚实么?

“你不能和我谈斯宾塞,”他叫道,“你对斯宾塞的理解还不如他的英国同胞。不过,我承认,那不是你的错,而只表现了这个时代可鄙的一面——无知。今天黄昏我来这儿时就遇见了一个例子。读到了一篇撒里比论斯宾塞的文章。你应该读一读。那书谁都可以弄到,哪个书店都可以买到,公共图书馆也可以借到。跟撒里比在这个问题上所搜集的材料一比,你对那位高贵的人的毁访就会显得太无知,太贫乏,你应该感到惭愧。那可是创记录地可耻,能叫你的可耻相形见绌。

“有一个连污染他呼吸过的空气都不配的学究式的哲学家曾说他是‘一知半解者的哲学家’,我觉得斯宾塞的书你就没有读过十页,可也就有好些这样的批评家(他们照说应该比你聪明,可他们读过的斯宾塞比你还少)却公开挑战,要斯宾塞的信徒从他所有的作品里提出一条属于他自己的思想来——从赫伯特·斯宾塞的作品里找他自己的思想!可是整个的科学研究天地和现代思想都打满了斯宾塞天才的烙印;斯宾塞是心理学的鼻祖;斯宾塞掀起了教育学的革命;因此法国农家孩子们今天才得以按照斯宾塞制定的原则接受到读写算的教育。那些人类中渺小的蚊蚋,吞食着从技术上应用他的思想而得来的黄油面包,却叮咬着他死后的名声。可他们脑子里那一点点可怜的有价值的东西主要还是靠斯宾塞得来的。毫无疑问,若是没有斯宾塞,他们那点鹦鹉学舌的知识也是没有的。

“可牛津的费尔班克司校长那样的人——他的地位比你还高,布朗待法官,竟然说后世的人会把斯宾塞抛到一边,把他看作个诗人、梦想家,而不看作思想家。全是一帮胡说八道的牛皮匠!他们之中有人说《首要原理》也并非没有丝毫文学魅力;还有人说斯宾塞是个勤奋的实干家而不是独创性的思想家。胡说八道,牛皮匠!胡说八道,牛皮匠!”

在一片死寂之中马丁突然住了口,马丁这番大放厥词把露丝全家都吓坏了。他们是把布朗特法官当作权威赫赫成就显著的人的。晚宴的其余部分简直就像是丧礼。法官和莫尔斯先生把谈话限制在了彼此之间。其他的谈话也零落散漫。然后,当露丝和马丁单独在一起时两人便吵了起来。

“你简直叫人受不了!”她哭了。

但他仍然余怒未息,仍然喃喃地说着:“畜生!畜生!”

她肯定他侮辱了法官,他反驳道:——

“因为我说了他真话么?”

“真话不真话我不管,”她坚持,“礼貌分寸总得讲的。你没有特权侮辱任何人。”

“那么布朗特法官又有什么特权侮辱真理呢?”马丁问道,“侮辱真理肯定是比侮辱一个像法官这样的小人严重得多的失礼。他的行为比不礼貌严重多了。他诽谤了一个已经死去的高贵的伟大的人物。啊,畜生!畜生!”

他那复杂的怒火又燃烧了起来,露丝简直害怕他了。她从来没有见他发过这么大的脾气。那脾气来得那么莫名其妙,那么突兀,她简直无法理解。然而就在他那恐惧之中却还有魅力的神经在颤动,它过去吸引过她,现在仍然吸引着她——逼得她向他倒了过去,在她那疯狂的最后时刻她伸出了双臂搂住了他的脖子。那天发生的事伤害了她,冒犯了她,然而她却还在他嘟哝着“畜生!畜生!”时躺在他的怀里发抖,他又说出下面的话,她仍然在他的怀里,“我术会再到你们家饭桌上来惹麻烦了,亲爱的。他们不喜欢我,我也不该去惹他们讨厌。而且他们也同样叫我生厌。呸!这些人真恶心!想想看,我竟然天真地做过梦,认为身居高位的、住高楼大厦的、受过教育的、有银行存款的人全鄙高贵呢!”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  36


"Come on, - I'll show you the real dirt," Brissenden said to him, one evening in January.




They had dined together in San Francisco, and were at the Ferry Building, returning to Oakland, when the whim came to him to show Martin the "real dirt." He turned and fled across the water-front, a meagre shadow in a flapping overcoat, with Martin straining to keep up with him. At a wholesale liquor store he bought two gallon-demijohns of old port, and with one in each hand boarded a Mission Street car, Martin at his heels burdened with several quart-bottles of whiskey.




If Ruth could see me now, was his thought, while he wondered as to what constituted the real dirt.




"Maybe nobody will be there," Brissenden said, when they dismounted and plunged off to the right into the heart of the working-class ghetto, south of Market Street. "In which case you'll miss what you've been looking for so long."




"And what the deuce is that?" Martin asked.




"Men, intelligent men, and not the gibbering nonentities I found you consorting with in that trader's den. You read the books and you found yourself all alone. Well, I'm going to show you to-night some other men who've read the books, so that you won't be lonely any more."




"Not that I bother my head about their everlasting discussions," he said at the end of a block. "I'm not interested in book philosophy. But you'll find these fellows intelligences and not bourgeois swine. But watch out, they'll talk an arm off of you on any subject under the sun."




"Hope Norton's there," he panted a little later, resisting Martin's effort to relieve him of the two demijohns. "Norton's an idealist - a Harvard man. Prodigious memory. Idealism led him to philosophic anarchy, and his family threw him off. Father's a railroad president and many times millionnaire, but the son's starving in 'Frisco, editing an anarchist sheet for twenty-five a month."




Martin was little acquainted in San Francisco, and not at all south of Market; so he had no idea of where he was being led.




"Go ahead," he said; "tell me about them beforehand. What do they do for a living? How do they happen to be here?"




"Hope Hamilton's there." Brissenden paused and rested his hands. "Strawn-Hamilton's his name - hyphenated, you know - comes of old Southern stock. He's a tramp - laziest man I ever knew, though he's clerking, or trying to, in a socialist cooperative store for six dollars a week. But he's a confirmed hobo. Tramped into town. I've seen him sit all day on a bench and never a bite pass his lips, and in the evening, when I invited him to dinner - restaurant two blocks away - have him say, 'Too much trouble, old man. Buy me a package of cigarettes instead.' He was a Spencerian like you till Kreis turned him to materialistic monism. I'll start him on monism if I can. Norton's another monist - only he affirms naught but spirit. He can give Kreis and Hamilton all they want, too."




"Who is Kreis?" Martin asked.




"His rooms we're going to. One time professor - fired from university - usual story. A mind like a steel trap. Makes his living any old way. I know he's been a street fakir when he was down. Unscrupulous. Rob a corpse of a shroud - anything. Difference between him - and the bourgeoisie is that he robs without illusion. He'll talk Nietzsche, or Schopenhauer, or Kant, or anything, but the only thing in this world, not excepting Mary, that he really cares for, is his monism. Haeckel is his little tin god. The only way to insult him is to take a slap at Haeckel."




"Here's the hang-out." Brissenden rested his demijohn at the upstairs entrance, preliminary to the climb. It was the usual two- story corner building, with a saloon and grocery underneath. "The gang lives here - got the whole upstairs to themselves. But Kreis is the only one who has two rooms. Come on."




No lights burned in the upper hall, but Brissenden threaded the utter blackness like a familiar ghost. He stopped to speak to Martin.




"There's one fellow - Stevens - a theosophist. Makes a pretty tangle when he gets going. Just now he's dish-washer in a restaurant. Likes a good cigar. I've seen him eat in a ten-cent hash-house and pay fifty cents for the cigar he smoked afterward. I've got a couple in my pocket for him, if he shows up."




"And there's another fellow - Parry - an Australian, a statistician and a sporting encyclopaedia. Ask him the grain output of Paraguay for 1903, or the English importation of sheetings into China for 1890, or at what weight Jimmy Britt fought Battling Nelson, or who was welter-weight champion of the United States in '68, and you'll get the correct answer with the automatic celerity of a slot- machine. And there's Andy, a stone-mason, has ideas on everything, a good chess-player; and another fellow, Harry, a baker, red hot socialist and strong union man. By the way, you remember Cooks' and Waiters' strike - Hamilton was the chap who organized that union and precipitated the strike - planned it all out in advance, right here in Kreis's rooms. Did it just for the fun of it, but was too lazy to stay by the union. Yet he could have risen high if he wanted to. There's no end to the possibilities in that man - if he weren't so insuperably lazy."




Brissenden advanced through the darkness till a thread of light marked the threshold of a door. A knock and an answer opened it, and Martin found himself shaking hands with Kreis, a handsome brunette man, with dazzling white teeth, a drooping black mustache, and large, flashing black eyes. Mary, a matronly young blonde, was washing dishes in the little back room that served for kitchen and dining room. The front room served as bedchamber and living room. Overhead was the week's washing, hanging in festoons so low that Martin did not see at first the two men talking in a corner. They hailed Brissenden and his demijohns with acclamation, and, on being introduced, Martin learned they were Andy and Parry. He joined them and listened attentively to the description of a prize-fight Parry had seen the night before; while Brissenden, in his glory, plunged into the manufacture of a toddy and the serving of wine and whiskey-and-sodas. At his command, "Bring in the clan," Andy departed to go the round of the rooms for the lodgers.




"We're lucky that most of them are here," Brissenden whispered to Martin. "There's Norton and Hamilton; come on and meet them. Stevens isn't around, I hear. I'm going to get them started on monism if I can. Wait till they get a few jolts in them and they'll warm up."




At first the conversation was desultory. Nevertheless Martin could not fail to appreciate the keen play of their minds. They were men with opinions, though the opinions often clashed, and, though they were witty and clever, they were not superficial. He swiftly saw, no matter upon what they talked, that each man applied the correlation of knowledge and had also a deep-seated and unified conception of society and the Cosmos. Nobody manufactured their opinions for them; they were all rebels of one variety or another, and their lips were strangers to platitudes. Never had Martin, at the Morses', heard so amazing a range of topics discussed. There seemed no limit save time to the things they were alive to. The talk wandered from Mrs. Humphry Ward's new book to Shaw's latest play, through the future of the drama to reminiscences of Mansfield. They appreciated or sneered at the morning editorials, jumped from labor conditions in New Zealand to Henry James and Brander Matthews, passed on to the German designs in the Far East and the economic aspect of the Yellow Peril, wrangled over the German elections and Bebel's last speech, and settled down to local politics, the latest plans and scandals in the union labor party administration, and the wires that were pulled to bring about the Coast Seamen's strike. Martin was struck by the inside knowledge they possessed. They knew what was never printed in the newspapers - the wires and strings and the hidden hands that made the puppets dance. To Martin's surprise, the girl, Mary, joined in the conversation, displaying an intelligence he had never encountered in the few women he had met. They talked together on Swinburne and Rossetti, after which she led him beyond his depth into the by- paths of French literature. His revenge came when she defended Maeterlinck and he brought into action the carefully-thought-out thesis of "The Shame of the Sun."




Several other men had dropped in, and the air was thick with tobacco smoke, when Brissenden waved the red flag.




"Here's fresh meat for your axe, Kreis," he said; "a rose-white youth with the ardor of a lover for Herbert Spencer. Make a Haeckelite of him - if you can."




Kreis seemed to wake up and flash like some metallic, magnetic thing, while Norton looked at Martin sympathetically, with a sweet, girlish smile, as much as to say that he would be amply protected.




Kreis began directly on Martin, but step by step Norton interfered, until he and Kreis were off and away in a personal battle. Martin listened and fain would have rubbed his eyes. It was impossible that this should be, much less in the labor ghetto south of Market. The books were alive in these men. They talked with fire and enthusiasm, the intellectual stimulant stirring them as he had seen drink and anger stir other men. What he heard was no longer the philosophy of the dry, printed word, written by half-mythical demigods like Kant and Spencer. It was living philosophy, with warm, red blood, incarnated in these two men till its very features worked with excitement. Now and again other men joined in, and all followed the discussion with cigarettes going out in their hands and with alert, intent faces.




Idealism had never attracted Martin, but the exposition it now received at the hands of Norton was a revelation. The logical plausibility of it, that made an appeal to his intellect, seemed missed by Kreis and Hamilton, who sneered at Norton as a metaphysician, and who, in turn, sneered back at them as metaphysicians. PHENOMENON and NOUMENON were bandied back and forth. They charged him with attempting to explain consciousness by itself. He charged them with word-jugglery, with reasoning from words to theory instead of from facts to theory. At this they were aghast. It was the cardinal tenet of their mode of reasoning to start with facts and to give names to the facts.




When Norton wandered into the intricacies of Kant, Kreis reminded him that all good little German philosophies when they died went to Oxford. A little later Norton reminded them of Hamilton's Law of Parsimony, the application of which they immediately claimed for every reasoning process of theirs. And Martin hugged his knees and exulted in it all. But Norton was no Spencerian, and he, too, strove for Martin's philosophic soul, talking as much at him as to his two opponents.




"You know Berkeley has never been answered," he said, looking directly at Martin. "Herbert Spencer came the nearest, which was not very near. Even the stanchest of Spencer's followers will not go farther. I was reading an essay of Saleeby's the other day, and the best Saleeby could say was that Herbert Spencer NEARLY succeeded in answering Berkeley."




"You know what Hume said?" Hamilton asked. Norton nodded, but Hamilton gave it for the benefit of the rest. "He said that Berkeley's arguments admit of no answer and produce no conviction."




"In his, Hume's, mind," was the reply. "And Hume's mind was the same as yours, with this difference: he was wise enough to admit there was no answering Berkeley."




Norton was sensitive and excitable, though he never lost his head, while Kreis and Hamilton were like a pair of cold-blooded savages, seeking out tender places to prod and poke. As the evening grew late, Norton, smarting under the repeated charges of being a metaphysician, clutching his chair to keep from jumping to his feet, his gray eyes snapping and his girlish face grown harsh and sure, made a grand attack upon their position.




"All right, you Haeckelites, I may reason like a medicine man, but, pray, how do you reason? You have nothing to stand on, you unscientific dogmatists with your positive science which you are always lugging about into places it has no right to be. Long before the school of materialistic monism arose, the ground was removed so that there could be no foundation. Locke was the man, John Locke. Two hundred years ago - more than that, even in his 'Essay concerning the Human Understanding,' he proved the non- existence of innate ideas. The best of it is that that is precisely what you claim. To-night, again and again, you have asserted the non-existence of innate ideas.




"And what does that mean? It means that you can never know ultimate reality. Your brains are empty when you are born. Appearances, or phenomena, are all the content your minds can receive from your five senses. Then noumena, which are not in your minds when you are born, have no way of getting in - "




"I deny - " Kreis started to interrupt.




"You wait till I'm done," Norton shouted. "You can know only that much of the play and interplay of force and matter as impinges in one way or another on our senses. You see, I am willing to admit, for the sake of the argument, that matter exists; and what I am about to do is to efface you by your own argument. I can't do it any other way, for you are both congenitally unable to understand a philosophic abstraction."




"And now, what do you know of matter, according to your own positive science? You know it only by its phenomena, its appearances. You are aware only of its changes, or of such changes in it as cause changes in your consciousness. Positive science deals only with phenomena, yet you are foolish enough to strive to be ontologists and to deal with noumena. Yet, by the very definition of positive science, science is concerned only with appearances. As somebody has said, phenomenal knowledge cannot transcend phenomena."




"You cannot answer Berkeley, even if you have annihilated Kant, and yet, perforce, you assume that Berkeley is wrong when you affirm that science proves the non-existence of God, or, as much to the point, the existence of matter. - You know I granted the reality of matter only in order to make myself intelligible to your understanding. Be positive scientists, if you please; but ontology has no place in positive science, so leave it alone. Spencer is right in his agnosticism, but if Spencer - "




But it was time to catch the last ferry-boat for Oakland, and Brissenden and Martin slipped out, leaving Norton still talking and Kreis and Hamilton waiting to pounce on him like a pair of hounds as soon as he finished.




"You have given me a glimpse of fairyland," Martin said on the ferry-boat. "It makes life worth while to meet people like that. My mind is all worked up. I never appreciated idealism before. Yet I can't accept it. I know that I shall always be a realist. I am so made, I guess. But I'd like to have made a reply to Kreis and Hamilton, and I think I'd have had a word or two for Norton. I didn't see that Spencer was damaged any. I'm as excited as a child on its first visit to the circus. I see I must read up some more. I'm going to get hold of Saleeby. I still think Spencer is unassailable, and next time I'm going to take a hand myself."




But Brissenden, breathing painfully, had dropped off to sleep, his chin buried in a scarf and resting on his sunken chest, his body wrapped in the long overcoat and shaking to the vibration of the propellers.
“来,来,我让你见识见识真正的草芥之民。”一月份的某一个晚上布里森登对他说。

两人刚在旧金山吃完晚饭,要回奥克兰,来到了轮渡大厦。这时布世森登心血来潮,要叫他看看“草芥之民”。他转过身来,他那外衣飘闪的瘦削的身影飘过了海岸,马丁努力跟着。布卫森登在一家批发饮料站买了两大瓶陈年葡萄酒,大胜瓶装的,一手拎一瓶上了教会街的电车。马丁拿了几瓶夸脱装的威士忌紧跟在后。

他心里想,这要是叫露丝看见可不得了,同时猜测那“真正的草芥之民”是怎么回事。“也许那儿一个人也没有,”两人下了车,便直奔市场街南面工人阶级贫民窟的中心,这时布里森登说,“那你就会错过你长期想找的人了。”

“究竟是什么呀?”

“人,聪明的人,而不是我发现你在那个生意人窝周交往的卿卿喳喳的无聊的人。你已经读了些书,发现自己完全孤独了。今天晚上我要叫你见识见识一些也读过书的人,那你就再也不会孤独了。

“我对他们的讨论没有兴趣,”他来到一个街区的尽头时说,“书本上的哲学打动不了我,但你会发现这些人是聪明人,不是资产阶级的猪猡。可你得小动,他们会就太阳之下的任何题目对你唠叨个没完的。

“我希望诺尔屯在那甲,”说到这儿他有一点气喘,却拒绝了马丁把他那两个大肚子酒瓶接过手去的好意。“诺尔屯是个理想主义者——哈佛大学的,有惊人的记忆力。理想主义把他引向了哲学上的无政府主义,被家庭赶了出来。他爸爸是一条铁路的总裁,有好几百万家产,可儿子却在旧金山挨饿,编着一份无政府主义报纸,每月二十五块。”

马丁对旧金山不熟,对市场街以南更是一无所知。因此他不知道自己已被领到了什么地方。

“讲吧,”他说,“先给我介绍介绍。他们靠什么过日子?怎么会到这儿来的?”

“但愿汉密尔顿也在这几,”市里森登站了一会儿,歇了歇手。“他的姓是斯特罗恩一汉密尔顿(中间是个连字符),出身南方世家。一个流浪汉——我所见过的最懒的人,虽然他在一家社会主义的合作社里做职员(或者说勉强凑合作着做),每周六块钱,可他是个积习难改的占普赛人,是流浪到这儿来的。我曾见他在一张长凳上坐过一整天,一点东西都没进嘴,到了晚上我请他吃饭——只须走两段街就到了馆子,他却回答说:‘太麻烦,老兄,给我买盒烟就行了!’他原来跟你一样,是斯宾塞主义者,后来被克瑞斯转变成了个唯物主义的一元论者。我如果能够,倒想跟他谈谈一元论;诺尔屯也是个一元论者——不过他只肯定精神,对其他的一切都怀疑。而他却可以提供克瑞斯和汉密尔顿所缺少的一切。”

“克瑞斯是谁呀、马丁问道。

“我们就是到他的屋里去呢,当过大学教授——被开除了——老一套的故事。那张嘴像刀子,用一切古老的形式混着饭吃。我知道他倒霉的时候在街上摆过摊,什么都满不在乎地干,连死人的尸衣也偷——什么都偷。他跟资产阶级不同,偷时并不制造假象。他谈尼采,谈叔本华,谈康德,什么都谈。但在世界上他真正关心的只有他的一元论,别的他都不放在心上,包括圣母玛利亚在内。海克尔是他崇拜的一个小偶像,你要侮辱他有一个办法法,打海克尔一耳光就行。

“咱们的老窝到了,”布里森登把他的大肚子酒瓶在阶梯口放了一会儿,做好上楼准备。那是常见的一楼一底的街角房,楼下是一间沙龙和一间杂货店。“这帮家伙就住这儿——楼上整个凡是他们的天下。只有克瑞斯一人住两间。来吧。”

楼上大厅里没有灯光,但布里森登却在沉沉的黑暗里穿来穿去,像个熟悉环境的幽灵。他停下脚步对马丁说:

“这儿有一个人叫史梯劳斯,是个通神论者,话匣子一打开可热闹呢。他现在在一家饭馆院盘子。喜欢抽高级雪茄烟。我见过他在一家‘一角餐厅’吃饭,然后花五角钱买雪茄抽。他要是来了,我兜里还为他准备了几支雪茄。

“还有一个家伙叫巴瑞,澳洲人‘统计学家,是一部挺有趣的百科全书。你问他一九0三年巴拉圭的粮食产量是多少,一八九0年英国向中国输出的床单是多少,吉米·布里特对杀手纳尔逊拳击战是哪个量级,一八六八年全美次重最级冠军是谁,都可以得到迅速准确的答案,像从自动售货机里出来的一样。还有安迪,是个五匠,对什么都有自己的看法,棋艺极棒。还有个家伙叫哈里,面包师傅,激烈的社会主义者和坚定的工联主义者。附带说一句,你记得厨工待者大罢工么?就是他组织了工会搞的——事先对一切都作了安排,地点就在这儿:克瑞斯家里。他搞罢工只是为了好玩,可是太懒,不愿留在工会里。他只要愿意是可以爬上去的。那家伙要不是懒得出奇,他的能量可以说是无穷无尽。”

布里森登在黑暗里穿行,直到一缕微光指明了门槛的所在。他敲了敲门,有人回答,门开了。马丁发现自己已在跟克瑞斯握着手。克瑞斯是个漂亮的人,浅黑色皮肤,黑色八字胡,牙齿白得耀眼,眼睛黑而且大,目光炯炯。玛丽是个金头发白皮肤的年轻妇女,主妇模样,正在后面一间小屋里洗碟子。那小屋是厨房,兼作饭厅;前屋是客厅,兼作寝室。一周来的衣服洗过了,像万国旗一样低低地晾在屋里,马丁刚进来时竟没看见有两个人在一个角落里谈话。两人用欢呼迎接了布里森登和他的大肚子酒瓶。经过介绍马丁知道他们是安迪和巴瑞。马丁来到一两人身边,仔细听巴瑞描述他头天晚上看过的拳击赛,这时布巴森登便用葡萄酒和威士忌苏打得意杨扬地调制好甜威士忌,端了上来。他一声令下“把那伙人请来”,那两人便到各个房间去叫人。

“我们运气不错,大部分人都在,”布里森登悄悄对马丁说,“诺尔屯和汉密尔顿在,来,跟他们见面吧。听说斯梯芬斯不在。如果能办到我就设法让他们谈一元论。先等他们喝两杯酒‘热热身’再说。”

谈话开始时有点凌乱,但马丁仍可以欣赏到他们那敏锐的心灵活动。全都是有思想的人,尽管常常互相碰撞;每个人都聪明风趣,但决不浅薄。很快他就发现他们无论谈什么问题都能综合地运用知识,对社会和宇宙具有深沉而系统的理解。他们都是某种类型的叛逆者,他们的思想不是任何人预先炮制好的,嘴里没有陈词滥调,讨论的问题多得惊人,那是马丁在莫尔斯家从没见过的。他们感到兴趣的问题若不是受到时间限制似乎可以无穷无尽。他们从亨福雷·华尔德夫人的新书谈到萧伯纳的最新剧本;从戏剧的前途谈到对曼殊菲尔的回忆。他们对早报的社论表示欣赏或是鄙弃;他们从新西兰的劳工条件猛然转入亨利·詹姆斯和布兰德·马修斯,又转入德国的远东阴谋和黄祸的经济侧面;他们争论德国的选举和倍倍尔的最新讲话;然后又落到当他的政治,联合劳工党政权的最新计划和丑闻;还有那导致了海岸海员罢工的幕后牵线情况。他们所掌握的内幕新闻之多个马丁震惊。他们知道报纸上从没有发表的东西——那操纵着木偶们跳舞的一条条线和一只只手。还有一件事也令马丁吃惊:玛丽也参加了谈话,并表现了在他所接触过的少数妇女身上从未见到过的智慧。她和他一起讨论史文朋和罗塞蒂,然后便把他引进了马丁感到陌生的法国文学的小胡同已去。等到她为梅特林克辩护时,马丁便把他在《太阳的耻辱押深思熟虑的理论使用出来,算是有了回敬她的机会。

另外的人也参加了讨论,空气里是浓烈的香烟味,这时布里森登挥动了辩论的红旗。

“克瑞斯,你那板斧有了新对象了,”他说,“一个纯洁得像白玫瑰的青年,对斯宾塞怀着恋人一样的热情。让他改信海克尔吧——你要是有本领的话!”

克瑞斯似乎醒了过来,像某种带磁性的金属一样闪出了光#。此时诺尔屯同情地望着马丁,发出一个姑娘般的甜笑,似乎在告诉他他可以得到强有力的保护。

克瑞斯直接向马丁开了火。可是诺尔中逐步进行了干预,辩论便转而在他们俩之间进行了。马丁听着听着几乎不相信自己的眼睛了:这简直是不可能的,尤其是在市场街以南的劳工贫民窟里。这些人书读得很灵活,谈话时怀着烈火和激情。他们为智慧的力量驱使时有如马丁见到别人受到酒精和愤怒驱使时一样激动。他所听见的东西不再是出自康德或斯宾塞这种神秘的仙灵笔下,不再是书本上的枯燥的哲学文字,而是奔流着鲜红的热血的活生生的哲学。那哲学体现在他们俩身上,直到它热情澎湃地显露出了本来面目。别的人也偶然插几句嘴。所有的人都紧跟着讨论的进程,手上的香烟渐渐熄灭,脸上露出敏锐的专注的神色。

唯心主义从来没有吸引过马丁,但经过诺尔屯一解释却给了他启示。唯心论的值得赞扬的逻辑启发了他的智力,但克瑞斯和汉密尔顿对之却似乎充耳不闻。他们嘲笑诺尔屯是个玄学鬼。诺尔屯也嗤之以鼻,回敬他们以玄学鬼的称号。他们用现象和本体两个字互相攻击。克瑞斯和汉密尔顿攻击诺尔屯企图以意识解释意识;诺尔屯则攻击他们俩玩弄词语,思考时从词语到理论,而不是从实际到理论。诺尔屯的话把他们俩惊呆了——他们的推理模式的根本信条一向是从事实出发,绘事实加上些名词术语。

诺尔屯钻进了康德的复杂世界,这时克瑞斯便提醒他说德国所有的小哲学学派死亡之后都跑到牛津去落户。不久诺尔屯又反提醒他们汉密尔顿的悭吝律。他们随即宣称他们的每一个推理过程都是应用着这一规律的。马丁抱着膝头听着,感到兴高采烈。但是诺尔屯并不是个斯宾塞主义者,他也在努力理解马丁哲学的精髓,一面对他的对手说话一面也对马丁说话。

“你知道贝克莱提出的问题谁也没有回答出来,”他直面着马丁,说,“赫伯特·斯宾塞的回答最接近于解决,但距离仍不算近。即使斯宾塞的最坚强的信徒也难于再前进了。那天我读了撤里比的一篇论文,撒里比所能说出的最好的话不过是:赫伯特·斯宾塞几乎回答了贝克莱的问题。”

“你知道休谟的话么?”汉密尔顿问道。诺尔屯点点头,但是汉密尔顿为了让大家明白,把它交代了出来。“他说贝克莱的那些论点虽无可辩驳,却不具说服力。”

“那是休谟的思想,”回答是,“而休谟的思想正和你的思想相同——只有一点不同:他很聪明,承认了贝克莱的问题无法回答。”

诺尔屯虽然从来不会糊涂,却敏感而易于冲动利而克瑞斯和汉密尔顿却像一对冷血的野蛮人,专找他的弱点戳他,顶他。夜色渐深,诺尔屯受到了反复的攻击,他们说他是个官学鬼,把他刺痛了,诺尔克怕自己会跳起来,忙攥住了椅子;他灰色的眼睛闪亮着,姑娘一样的面孔变得严厉而坚毅了。他对他们的立场发表了一通精彩的攻忐。

“好吧,你们这些海克尔主义者,就算我的思维像个定方郎中,可请问,你们是怎么推理的?你们这些不科学的教条主义者,你们没何立.足之地,老把你们的实证科学往它并无权利进去的地方乱搡。在唯物的一元论学派出现以前很久你们那根据早就被挖掉了,早没了基础。挖掉它的是洛克,约翰·洛克两百年以前.甚至更早以前,在他的论文《论人的理解》里他已经证明了没有与生俱来的意念。最精彩的是:你们的说法也正如此,今晚你们所一再肯定的正是没有与生俱来的意念。”

“你那话是什么意思?那正说明了你无法知道终极的现实,你出生时头脑里空空如上。表象,或者说现象,就是你的心灵从五种感官所能获得的全部内容。因此本体,你出生时所没有的东西,是没有法子进入——”

“我否认——”克瑞斯开始插嘴。

“你等我说完,”诺尔屯叫道,“对于力与物质的作用和两者的相互作用你所能知道的就那么一点点,因为它们以某种形式触动了你们的感官。你看,为了辩论,我倒是乐意承认物质是存在的。因为我打算以子之矛攻子之盾,只好先承认它,因为你们俩天生就无法理解哲学的抽象。

“那么,根据你们的实证科学,你们对物质又知道什么呢?你们只能通过它的现象,它的表象,知道它,你们只知道它的变化,或者说通过它的变化所引起的你们的意识的变化去知道它。实证科学只能处理现象,而你们却很策,偏要努力去做本体论者,去研究本体。然而就从实证科学的定义出发也很清楚,科学是只关心现象的。有人说过,从现象得来的知识是无法超越现象的。

“即使你们打倒了康德,你们也回答不了贝克莱的问题。但是,也许你们在确认科学证明了上帝并不存在,或者差不多证明了物质的存在时就已假定贝克莱错了。你们知道我承认物质的现实性只是为了能让你们懂得我的意思。你们要是高兴,就做实证科学家吧,但是本体论在实证科学里并没有地位,因此别去谈什么实证科学。斯宾塞的怀疑主义是对的。但是如果斯宾塞——”

不过,已经到了去赶最后一班轮渡回奥克兰的时候了。布里森登和马丁溜了出来,留下诺尔屯还在那里侃侃而谈,而克瑞斯和汉密尔顿则像两条措拘一样,等他一住目就扑上去。

“你让我瞥见了神仙的世界,”马丁在轮渡上说,“跟那样的人见面使生活变得有了价值。我的头脑全调动起来了。以前我从没有欣赏过唯心主义,尽管我仍然接受不了。我知道我永远是个现实主义者。我估计那是天生的。可我倒很想回答克瑞斯和汉密尔顿几句,也对诺尔屯发表点意见。我并不认为斯宾塞已被打倒。我很激动,像小孩第一次见到马戏团一样激动。我看我还得多读点书。我要找撒里比来读读。我仍然认为斯宾塞无懈可击。下一回我就要自己上阵了。”

但是布里森登已经睡着了。他痛苦地呼吸着,下巴顶住他那凹陷的胸口,埋在围巾里,身子裹在长大衣里随着推进器的震动而摇晃着。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 35楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  35


Brissenden gave no explanation of his long absence, nor did Martin pry into it. He was content to see his friend's cadaverous face opposite him through the steam rising from a tumbler of toddy.




"I, too, have not been idle," Brissenden proclaimed, after hearing Martin's account of the work he had accomplished.




He pulled a manuscript from his inside coat pocket and passed it to Martin, who looked at the title and glanced up curiously.




"Yes, that's it," Brissenden laughed. "Pretty good title, eh? 'Ephemera' - it is the one word. And you're responsible for it, what of your MAN, who is always the erected, the vitalized inorganic, the latest of the ephemera, the creature of temperature strutting his little space on the thermometer. It got into my head and I had to write it to get rid of it. Tell me what you think of it."




Martin's face, flushed at first, paled as he read on. It was perfect art. Form triumphed over substance, if triumph it could be called where the last conceivable atom of substance had found expression in so perfect construction as to make Martin's head swim with delight, to put passionate tears into his eyes, and to send chills creeping up and down his back. It was a long poem of six or seven hundred lines, and it was a fantastic, amazing, unearthly thing. It was terrific, impossible; and yet there it was, scrawled in black ink across the sheets of paper. It dealt with man and his soul-gropings in their ultimate terms, plumbing the abysses of space for the testimony of remotest suns and rainbow spectrums. It was a mad orgy of imagination, wassailing in the skull of a dying man who half sobbed under his breath and was quick with the wild flutter of fading heart-beats. The poem swung in majestic rhythm to the cool tumult of interstellar conflict, to the onset of starry hosts, to the impact of cold suns and the flaming up of nebular in the darkened void; and through it all, unceasing and faint, like a silver shuttle, ran the frail, piping voice of man, a querulous chirp amid the screaming of planets and the crash of systems.




"There is nothing like it in literature," Martin said, when at last he was able to speak. "It's wonderful! - wonderful! It has gone to my head. I am drunken with it. That great, infinitesimal question - I can't shake it out of my thoughts. That questing, eternal, ever recurring, thin little wailing voice of man is still ringing in my ears. It is like the dead-march of a gnat amid the trumpeting of elephants and the roaring of lions. It is insatiable with microscopic desire. I now I'm making a fool of myself, but the thing has obsessed me. You are - I don't know what you are - you are wonderful, that's all. But how do you do it? How do you do it?"




Martin paused from his rhapsody, only to break out afresh.




"I shall never write again. I am a dauber in clay. You have shown me the work of the real artificer-artisan. Genius! This is something more than genius. It transcends genius. It is truth gone mad. It is true, man, every line of it. I wonder if you realize that, you dogmatist. Science cannot give you the lie. It is the truth of the sneer, stamped out from the black iron of the Cosmos and interwoven with mighty rhythms of sound into a fabric of splendor and beauty. And now I won't say another word. I am overwhelmed, crushed. Yes, I will, too. Let me market it for you."




Brissenden grinned. "There's not a magazine in Christendom that would dare to publish it - you know that."




"I know nothing of the sort. I know there's not a magazine in Christendom that wouldn't jump at it. They don't get things like that every day. That's no mere poem of the year. It's the poem of the century."




"I'd like to take you up on the proposition."




"Now don't get cynical," Martin exhorted. "The magazine editors are not wholly fatuous. I know that. And I'll close with you on the bet. I'll wager anything you want that 'Ephemera' is accepted either on the first or second offering."




"There's just one thing that prevents me from taking you." Brissenden waited a moment. "The thing is big - the biggest I've ever done. I know that. It's my swan song. I am almighty proud of it. I worship it. It's better than whiskey. It is what I dreamed of - the great and perfect thing - when I was a simple young man, with sweet illusions and clean ideals. And I've got it, now, in my last grasp, and I'll not have it pawed over and soiled by a lot of swine. No, I won't take the bet. It's mine. I made it, and I've shared it with you."




"But think of the rest of the world," Martin protested. "The function of beauty is joy-making."




"It's my beauty."




"Don't be selfish."




"I'm not selfish." Brissenden grinned soberly in the way he had when pleased by the thing his thin lips were about to shape. "I'm as unselfish as a famished hog."




In vain Martin strove to shake him from his decision. Martin told him that his hatred of the magazines was rabid, fanatical, and that his conduct was a thousand times more despicable than that of the youth who burned the temple of Diana at Ephesus. Under the storm of denunciation Brissenden complacently sipped his toddy and affirmed that everything the other said was quite true, with the exception of the magazine editors. His hatred of them knew no bounds, and he excelled Martin in denunciation when he turned upon them.




"I wish you'd type it for me," he said. "You know how a thousand times better than any stenographer. And now I want to give you some advice." He drew a bulky manuscript from his outside coat pocket. "Here's your 'Shame of the Sun.' I've read it not once, but twice and three times - the highest compliment I can pay you. After what you've said about 'Ephemera' I must be silent. But this I will say: when 'The Shame of the Sun' is published, it will make a hit. It will start a controversy that will be worth thousands to you just in advertising."




Martin laughed. "I suppose your next advice will be to submit it to the magazines."




"By all means no - that is, if you want to see it in print. Offer it to the first-class houses. Some publisher's reader may be mad enough or drunk enough to report favorably on it. You've read the books. The meat of them has been transmuted in the alembic of Martin Eden's mind and poured into 'The Shame of the Sun,' and one day Martin Eden will be famous, and not the least of his fame will rest upon that work. So you must get a publisher for it - the sooner the better."




Brissenden went home late that night; and just as he mounted the first step of the car, he swung suddenly back on Martin and thrust into his hand a small, tightly crumpled wad of paper.




"Here, take this," he said. "I was out to the races to-day, and I had the right dope."




The bell clanged and the car pulled out, leaving Martin wondering as to the nature of the crinkly, greasy wad he clutched in his hand. Back in his room he unrolled it and found a hundred-dollar bill.




He did not scruple to use it. He knew his friend had always plenty of money, and he knew also, with profound certitude, that his success would enable him to repay it. In the morning he paid every bill, gave Maria three months' advance on the room, and redeemed every pledge at the pawnshop. Next he bought Marian's wedding present, and simpler presents, suitable to Christmas, for Ruth and Gertrude. And finally, on the balance remaining to him, he herded the whole Silva tribe down into Oakland. He was a winter late in redeeming his promise, but redeemed it was, for the last, least Silva got a pair of shoes, as well as Maria herself. Also, there were horns, and dolls, and toys of various sorts, and parcels and bundles of candies and nuts that filled the arms of all the Silvas to overflowing.




It was with this extraordinary procession trooping at his and Maria's heels into a confectioner's in quest if the biggest candy- cane ever made, that he encountered Ruth and her mother. Mrs. Morse was shocked. Even Ruth was hurt, for she had some regard for appearances, and her lover, cheek by jowl with Maria, at the head of that army of Portuguese ragamuffins, was not a pretty sight. But it was not that which hurt so much as what she took to be his lack of pride and self-respect. Further, and keenest of all, she read into the incident the impossibility of his living down his working-class origin. There was stigma enough in the fact of it, but shamelessly to flaunt it in the face of the world - her world - was going too far. Though her engagement to Martin had been kept secret, their long intimacy had not been unproductive of gossip; and in the shop, glancing covertly at her lover and his following, had been several of her acquaintances. She lacked the easy largeness of Martin and could not rise superior to her environment. She had been hurt to the quick, and her sensitive nature was quivering with the shame of it. So it was, when Martin arrived later in the day, that he kept her present in his breast-pocket, deferring the giving of it to a more propitious occasion. Ruth in tears - passionate, angry tears - was a revelation to him. The spectacle of her suffering convinced him that he had been a brute, yet in the soul of him he could not see how nor why. It never entered his head to be ashamed of those he knew, and to take the Silvas out to a Christmas treat could in no way, so it seemed to him, show lack of consideration for Ruth. On the other hand, he did see Ruth's point of view, after she had explained it; and he looked upon it as a feminine weakness, such as afflicted all women and the best of women.
布里森登没有解释他长期失踪的原因。马丁也没有问。他能透过从一大杯柠檬威士忌甜酒升起的水雾望见地朋友那瘦削凹陷的脸,已经心满意足了。

“我也没有闲着,”布里森登听马)讲过他已完成的工作之后宣布。

他从内面一件短衫的口袋里掏出了一份手稿给了马丁。马丁看了看标题,好奇地瞥了他一眼。

“对,就是它,”布里森登哈哈大笑。“挺漂亮的标题,是么?‘蜉蝣’,就是这个词。是从你那里来的,就从你的那个‘人’来的,那个永远直立的、被激活了的无机物,蜉蝣的最新形式,在温度计那小小的天地望高视阔步的有体温的生物。那东西钻进了我的脑子,为了把它打发掉我只好写了出来。告诉我你对它的看法。”

开始时马丁的股发红,但一读下去,便苍白了。那是十全十美的艺术。形式战胜了内容,如果还能叫做战胜的话。在那里凡能设想出的内容的每一个细节都获得了最完美的表现形式。马丁高兴得如醉如痴,热泪盈眶,却又感到一阵阵阴寒在背上起伏。那是一首六七百行的长诗,一部奇思逸想、令人震惊、不属于人世的诗作。它精彩之至,难以设想,可又分明存在,用黑色的墨水写在一张张纸上。那诗写的是人和他的灵魂在终极意义上的探索,他探索着宇宙空间的一个个深渊,寻求着最辽远处的一个个太阳和一道道霓虹光谱。那是想像力的疯狂的盛筵,在一个垂死的人的头脑里祝酒,垂死者气息奄奄地哭泣着,衰微不去的心脏却仍然狂跳。那诗以庄重的节奏振荡起伏,伴随着星际冲突的清冷的波涛、万千星宿的前进步伐、和无数冷冰冰的太阳的冲击,伴随着最黑暗的空虚望的星云的燃烧;而在这一切之间,却传来了入类微弱细小的声音,有如一支银梭,不断地、无力地呐喊着,在星球的呼啸和天体的撞击声中只不过是几声哀怨悲嗟的唧唧啾鸣。

“文学里还从没有过这样的作品!”马丁在终于能说话时说道,“惊人之作!——惊人!它钻进了我的脑袋,叫我沉醉。那伟大的浩瀚无涯的问题我是无法赶出脑袋了。人类那永远反复的追求的细弱的呐喊还在我的耳用震响,有如狮吼象吗之间的纹钢的丧葬进行曲。它怀着千百倍夸大的欲望,无从满足,我知道我是在把自己变成个傻瓜。但这个问题却叫我神魂颠四。你,你——我不知道怎么说你才好,可是你真了不起。可你是怎么写出来的?怎么写的?”

马丁暂停了他的狂欢颂,只是为了重新说下去。

“我再也不写东西了。我是个在泥涂里乱画的家伙。你已经让我看见了真正的艺术大师的作品。天才!比天才还高越,超过了天才。是疯魔的真理。是的,老兄,每一行都是的。我不知道你是否意识到这一点,你这个教条主义者。科学是不会骗人的。这是冷言冷语叙述的真理,是用宇宙的黑色铁玺印就的,是把声音的强大节奏织人光辉和美的织品里造成的。现在我再也没有话说了。我被征服了,粉碎了。不,我还有话说!让我给你找销路吧。”

布里森登满面笑容:“基督教世界纪还没有一份杂志敢于发表这诗呢——这你是知道的。”

‘哪类的事我不懂,但我知道基督教世界还没有一份杂志不会抢着要它。他们并不是每天都能得到这样的东西的。这不是这一年之冠,而是本世纪之冠。”

“我愿意拿你这说法和你打赌。”

“好了,可别那么愤世嫉俗,”马丁提出要求,“杂志编辑并非都那么昏庸,这我是知道的。我可以跟你用你想要的任何东西打赌,《蜉蝣》头一次或第二次投出去就会被采用的。”

“只有一个东西不让我跟你打赌,”布里森登想了一会儿,说:“我这诗很有分量——是我的作品里最有分量的,这我知道。它是我的天鹅之歌,我为它骄傲。我崇拜它甚于威士忌,它是我少年时梦寐以求的东西——完美元缺的伟大作品。那时我怀着甜蜜的幻想和纯洁的理想。现在我用我这最后的一把力气抓住了它。我可不愿意把它送出去让那些猪移胡乱蹂躏和玷污。不,我不打赌。它是我的。我创作了它,而且已经跟你分享了。”

“可你得想想世界上其他的人,”马丁抗议道,“美的功能原本就是给人享受。”

“可那美属于我。”

“别自私。”

“我并不自私,”布里森登冷静地笑了。他那薄薄的嘴唇有好笑的事想说就那么笑。“我可是跟一头俄急了的野猪一样大公无私呢。”

马丁想动摇他的决心,却没有如愿。马丁告诉他地对编辑们的仇恨太过激,太狂热,他的行为比烧掉了以弗所的狄安娜神庙的那个青年还要讨厌一千倍。布里森登心满意足地啜着他的柠檬威十忌甜酒,面对着谴责的风暴。他承认对方的活每一句都对,只是关于杂志编辑的活不对。他对他们怀着无穷的仇恨。一提起他们他的谴责的风暴便超过了马丁。

“我希望你为我把它打出来,”他说,“你打得比任何速记员都好一千倍。现在我要给你一个忠告。”他从外衣口袋掏出了一大摞稿子。“这是你的《太阳的耻辱》,我读过不是一次,而是两次三次——这可是我对你的最高赞美。在你说了关于蜉蝣的那些话之后我只好闭嘴了。可我还要说一句:《太阳的耻辱》发表之后一定会引起轰动。它一定会引起争论,光在宣传上那对你也要值千千万呢。”

马丁哈哈大笑:“我估计你下面就会要我把它寄给杂志了。”

“绝对不可以——就是说如果你想见它发表的话。把它寄给第一流的出版社。某个审稿人可能为它颠倒或是沉醉,做出有利的审稿报告。你读过了该读的书。那些书的精华已经被马丁·伊登提炼吸收,注入了《太阳的耻辱》。有一天马丁·伊甸会成名,而那部著作对他的名气的作用决不会小。因此你得为它找一个出版家——越早越好。”

那天晚上布望森登很晚才回家,他刚踏上车便转过身来塞在马丁手里一个捏得很紧的小纸团。

“喏,拿着,”他说,“我今天去赛了马,我有关于马的可靠内部情报。”

马车叮叮当当走掉了,让马丁留在那里猜想着他手里摸着的这个皱巴巴的纸团是什么意思。他回到屋里打开一看,原来是一张一百元的钞票。

他满不在乎地打算用这笔钱。他知道他的朋友一向有许多钱,也深信自己的成功能让他偿还这笔债。早上他还清了一切欠债;预付给了玛利亚三个月房租地赎回了当铺里的一切。然后他为茉莉安买了结婚礼物,为露丝和格特霞也买了适合圣诞节的较简单的礼物。最后他用剩下的钱把西尔伐一家请到奥克夫兰去,从西尔伐家最小的孩子到玛利亚各自都得到了一双鞋。他随行诺言晚了一冬,但他毕竟履行了。此外还买了喇叭、布娃娃、各种各样的玩具。还有大包小包的糖果,叫西尔伐全家的手臂几乎抱不住。

这一支与众不同的队伍跟在他和玛利亚身后浩浩荡荡地进了一家糖果店,要想寻找最大的手杖糖。正在此时他却碰见了露丝和她的妈妈。莫尔斯太太非常愤慨。就连露丝也受到了伤害,因为她有些顾脸面,而她的爱人却跟玛利亚那么亲亲热热,带了那么一帮衣衫褴褛的葡萄牙小叫花子,那样子真不体面,而最叫她难受的却是他在她眼里那种没有自尊和自爱的样子。还有,最叫她伤己的是她从这件事看到了他那工人阶级生活之叫人难堪。事实本身已经够丢人的了,他却还要不知羞耻地招摇过市——到她的世界里来。这未免太过分。她跟马丁的婚约虽然保了密,两人之间长期亲密的过从并非不会引起流言蜚语的。在那家铺子里已有好几个她的熟人悄悄地打量着她的情人和跟着他的那帮人。她缺少马丁那样广阔的心胸,不能超越自己环境。她受到了严重的伤害,他那敏感的天性因为那耻辱而颤抖。马丁当天晚些时候到了她家时,情况就像这样。马丁把礼物留在胸前口袋里,原想找一个较为有利的时机再拿出来。是露丝流起了眼泪,激动的愤怒的眼泪,才给了他启示的。她那泪眼婆娑的痛苦样子让他觉得自己是个野兽,可他从灵魂里却并不懂得问题词在,为了什么。他从来不会想到为自己的朋友感到害羞。他好像觉得圣诞节请西尔伐一家去挥霍一番不可能对露丝表现什么不体贴。反过来,就在露丝已经解释她的观点之后他也还莫名其妙,只把它看作是一种女性的弱点——一种一切妇女都有的毛病,包括最优秀的妇女在内。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
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。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  34


Arthur remained at the gate while Ruth climbed Maria's front steps. She heard the rapid click of the type-writer, and when Martin let her in, found him on the last page of a manuscript. She had come to make certain whether or not he would be at their table for Thanksgiving dinner; but before she could broach the subject Martin plunged into the one with which he was full.




"Here, let me read you this," he cried, separating the carbon copies and running the pages of manuscript into shape. "It's my latest, and different from anything I've done. It is so altogether different that I am almost afraid of it, and yet I've a sneaking idea it is good. You be judge. It's an Hawaiian story. I've called it 'Wiki-wiki.'"




His face was bright with the creative glow, though she shivered in the cold room and had been struck by the coldness of his hands at greeting. She listened closely while he read, and though he from time to time had seen only disapprobation in her face, at the close he asked:-




"Frankly, what do you think of it?"




"I - I don't know," she, answered. "Will it - do you think it will sell?"




"I'm afraid not," was the confession. "It's too strong for the magazines. But it's true, on my word it's true."




"But why do you persist in writing such things when you know they won't sell?" she went on inexorably. "The reason for your writing is to make a living, isn't it?"




"Yes, that's right; but the miserable story got away with me. I couldn't help writing it. It demanded to be written."




"But that character, that Wiki-Wiki, why do you make him talk so roughly? Surely it will offend your readers, and surely that is why the editors are justified in refusing your work."




"Because the real Wiki-Wiki would have talked that way."




"But it is not good taste."




"It is life," he replied bluntly. "It is real. It is true. And I must write life as I see it."




She made no answer, and for an awkward moment they sat silent. It was because he loved her that he did not quite understand her, and she could not understand him because he was so large that he bulked beyond her horizon




"Well, I've collected from the TRANSCONTINENTAL," he said in an effort to shift the conversation to a more comfortable subject. The picture of the bewhiskered trio, as he had last seen them, mulcted of four dollars and ninety cents and a ferry ticket, made him chuckle.




"Then you'll come!" she cried joyously. "That was what I came to find out."




"Come?" he muttered absently. "Where?"




"Why, to dinner to-morrow. You know you said you'd recover your suit if you got that money."




"I forgot all about it," he said humbly. "You see, this morning the poundman got Maria's two cows and the baby calf, and - well, it happened that Maria didn't have any money, and so I had to recover her cows for her. That's where the TRANSCONTINENTAL fiver went - 'The Ring of Bells' went into the poundman's pocket."




"Then you won't come?"




He looked down at his clothing.




"I can't."




Tears of disappointment and reproach glistened in her blue eyes, but she said nothing.




"Next Thanksgiving you'll have dinner with me in Delmonico's," he said cheerily; "or in London, or Paris, or anywhere you wish. I know it."




"I saw in the paper a few days ago," she announced abruptly, "that there had been several local appointments to the Railway Mail. You passed first, didn't you?"




He was compelled to admit that the call had come for him, but that he had declined it. "I was so sure - I am so sure - of myself," he concluded. "A year from now I'll be earning more than a dozen men in the Railway Mail. You wait and see."




"Oh," was all she said, when he finished. She stood up, pulling at her gloves. "I must go, Martin. Arthur is waiting for me."




He took her in his arms and kissed her, but she proved a passive sweetheart. There was no tenseness in her body, her arms did not go around him, and her lips met his without their wonted pressure.




She was angry with him, he concluded, as he returned from the gate. But why? It was unfortunate that the poundman had gobbled Maria's cows. But it was only a stroke of fate. Nobody could be blamed for it. Nor did it enter his head that he could have done aught otherwise than what he had done. Well, yes, he was to blame a little, was his next thought, for having refused the call to the Railway Mail. And she had not liked "Wiki-Wiki."




He turned at the head of the steps to meet the letter-carrier on his afternoon round. The ever recurrent fever of expectancy assailed Martin as he took the bundle of long envelopes. One was not long. It was short and thin, and outside was printed the address of THE NEW YORK OUTVIEW. He paused in the act of tearing the envelope open. It could not be an acceptance. He had no manuscripts with that publication. Perhaps - his heart almost stood still at the - wild thought - perhaps they were ordering an article from him; but the next instant he dismissed the surmise as hopelessly impossible.




It was a short, formal letter, signed by the office editor, merely informing him that an anonymous letter which they had received was enclosed, and that he could rest assured the OUTVIEW'S staff never under any circumstances gave consideration to anonymous correspondence.




The enclosed letter Martin found to be crudely printed by hand. It was a hotchpotch of illiterate abuse of Martin, and of assertion that the "so-called Martin Eden" who was selling stories to magazines was no writer at all, and that in reality he was stealing stories from old magazines, typing them, and sending them out as his own. The envelope was postmarked "San Leandro." Martin did not require a second thought to discover the author. Higginbotham's grammar, Higginbotham's colloquialisms, Higginbotham's mental quirks and processes, were apparent throughout. Martin saw in every line, not the fine Italian hand, but the coarse grocer's fist, of his brother-in-law.




But why? he vainly questioned. What injury had he done Bernard Higginbotham? The thing was so unreasonable, so wanton. There was no explaining it. In the course of the week a dozen similar letters were forwarded to Martin by the editors of various Eastern magazines. The editors were behaving handsomely, Martin concluded. He was wholly unknown to them, yet some of them had even been sympathetic. It was evident that they detested anonymity. He saw that the malicious attempt to hurt him had failed. In fact, if anything came of it, it was bound to be good, for at least his name had been called to the attention of a number of editors. Sometime, perhaps, reading a submitted manuscript of his, they might remember him as the fellow about whom they had received an anonymous letter. And who was to say that such a remembrance might not sway the balance of their judgment just a trifle in his favor?




It was about this time that Martin took a great slump in Maria's estimation. He found her in the kitchen one morning groaning with pain, tears of weakness running down her cheeks, vainly endeavoring to put through a large ironing. He promptly diagnosed her affliction as La Grippe, dosed her with hot whiskey (the remnants in the bottles for which Brissenden was responsible), and ordered her to bed. But Maria was refractory. The ironing had to be done, she protested, and delivered that night, or else there would be no food on the morrow for the seven small and hungry Silvas.




To her astonishment (and it was something that she never ceased from relating to her dying day), she saw Martin Eden seize an iron from the stove and throw a fancy shirt-waist on the ironing-board. It was Kate Flanagan's best Sunday waist, than whom there was no more exacting and fastidiously dressed woman in Maria's world. Also, Miss Flanagan had sent special instruction that said waist must be delivered by that night. As every one knew, she was keeping company with John Collins, the blacksmith, and, as Maria knew privily, Miss Flanagan and Mr. Collins were going next day to Golden Gate Park. Vain was Maria's attempt to rescue the garment. Martin guided her tottering footsteps to a chair, from where she watched him with bulging eyes. In a quarter of the time it would have taken her she saw the shirt-waist safely ironed, and ironed as well as she could have done it, as Martin made her grant.




"I could work faster," he explained, "if your irons were only hotter."




To her, the irons he swung were much hotter than she ever dared to use.




"Your sprinkling is all wrong," he complained next. "Here, let me teach you how to sprinkle. Pressure is what's wanted. Sprinkle under pressure if you want to iron fast."




He procured a packing-case from the woodpile in the cellar, fitted a cover to it, and raided the scrap-iron the Silva tribe was collecting for the junkman. With fresh-sprinkled garments in the box, covered with the board and pressed by the iron, the device was complete and in operation.




"Now you watch me, Maria," he said, stripping off to his undershirt and gripping an iron that was what he called "really hot."




"An' when he feenish da iron' he washa da wools," as she described it afterward. "He say, 'Maria, you are da greata fool. I showa you how to washa da wools,' an' he shows me, too. Ten minutes he maka da machine - one barrel, one wheel-hub, two poles, justa like dat."




Martin had learned the contrivance from Joe at the Shelly Hot Springs. The old wheel-hub, fixed on the end of the upright pole, constituted the plunger. Making this, in turn, fast to the spring- pole attached to the kitchen rafters, so that the hub played upon the woollens in the barrel, he was able, with one hand, thoroughly to pound them.




"No more Maria washa da wools," her story always ended. "I maka da kids worka da pole an' da hub an' da barrel. Him da smarta man, Mister Eden."




Nevertheless, by his masterly operation and improvement of her kitchen-laundry he fell an immense distance in her regard. The glamour of romance with which her imagination had invested him faded away in the cold light of fact that he was an ex-laundryman. All his books, and his grand friends who visited him in carriages or with countless bottles of whiskey, went for naught. He was, after all, a mere workingman, a member of her own class and caste. He was more human and approachable, but, he was no longer mystery.




Martin's alienation from his family continued. Following upon Mr. Higginbotham's unprovoked attack, Mr. Hermann von Schmidt showed his hand. The fortunate sale of several storiettes, some humorous verse, and a few jokes gave Martin a temporary splurge of prosperity. Not only did he partially pay up his bills, but he had sufficient balance left to redeem his black suit and wheel. The latter, by virtue of a twisted crank-hanger, required repairing, and, as a matter of friendliness with his future brother-in-law, he sent it to Von Schmidt's shop.




The afternoon of the same day Martin was pleased by the wheel being delivered by a small boy. Von Schmidt was also inclined to be friendly, was Martin's conclusion from this unusual favor. Repaired wheels usually had to be called for. But when he examined the wheel, he discovered no repairs had been made. A little later in the day he telephoned his sister's betrothed, and learned that that person didn't want anything to do with him in "any shape, manner, or form."




"Hermann von Schmidt," Martin answered cheerfully, "I've a good mind to come over and punch that Dutch nose of yours."




"You come to my shop," came the reply, "an' I'll send for the police. An' I'll put you through, too. Oh, I know you, but you can't make no rough-house with me. I don't want nothin' to do with the likes of you. You're a loafer, that's what, an' I ain't asleep. You ain't goin' to do no spongin' off me just because I'm marryin' your sister. Why don't you go to work an' earn an honest livin', eh? Answer me that."




Martin's philosophy asserted itself, dissipating his anger, and he hung up the receiver with a long whistle of incredulous amusement. But after the amusement came the reaction, and he was oppressed by his loneliness. Nobody understood him, nobody seemed to have any use for him, except Brissenden, and Brissenden had disappeared, God alone knew where.




Twilight was falling as Martin left the fruit store and turned homeward, his marketing on his arm. At the corner an electric car had stopped, and at sight of a lean, familiar figure alighting, his heart leapt with joy. It was Brissenden, and in the fleeting glimpse, ere the car started up, Martin noted the overcoat pockets, one bulging with books, the other bulging with a quart bottle of whiskey.
亚瑟留在门日,露丝路上了玛利亚家门前的台阶。她听见打字机急速地敲打着,马丁请她进去时她发现他在打着最后一页稿子。她是来确定他是否去她家参加感恩节宴会的。但是不等她谈到本题,马丁已经谈开了他自己的题目,他满肚子就是他那题目。

“呐,让我读给你听,”他叫道,把复写的稿页分别整理好,“这是我最新的作品,和我已写过的任何作品都不相同。太不同了,连我都差不多害怕起来。不过我自以为不错。你来当当裁判吧。是一个夏威夷的故事。我叫它《威几威几》。”

虽然她在这寒冷的屋里冷得发抖,和他握手时也感到他的手冰凉,他仍然满脸闪亮,洋溢着创造的欢乐。他读,她细细地听,尽管他读时也见她脸上只有不以为然的表情,读完他仍然问道:——

“说真话,你的印象如何?”

“我——我不知道,”她回答,“它能不能——你认为它卖得掉么?”

“怕是卖不掉,”他承认,“投给杂志嫌太激烈。不过很实事求是,我保证它实事求是。”

“你明明知道卖不掉,为什么偏偏要写这种东西呢”她不客气地说,“你写作是为了生活,是么?”

“是的,不错,但是那悲惨的故事迷住了我,我忍不住要写。它逼着我非写不可。”

“可是你为什么让你那角色威几威几说话那么粗野?那肯定会叫读者不高兴,也确实说明了编辑们不肯发表你作品的理由。”

“因为真正的威几成几就是那么说话的。”

“不过品位就低了。”

“那是生活,”他直率地回答,“那是现实的,是真正的。我必须按照我见到的生活的原样写作。”

她没有回答。两人尴尬地坐了一会儿。他不理解她是因为太爱她;而他却太宏大,远在她的地平线之外。

“我已经从《跨越大陆》收到欠款了,”他努力转入一个较为轻松的话题,他所见到的三个连鬓胡叫他抢走了四块九毛钱外加一张轮渡票的景象使他不禁格格地笑了。

“那么你是要来的喽!”她快活地叫了起来,“我就是为明确这个问题才来的。”

“来?”他心不在焉地咕哝道,“到哪儿?”

“怎么,来赴宴呀,你知道你说过要到那笔钱就把衣服赎出来。”

“我全忘了,”他乖乖地说,“你看,今天早上牲畜栏看守把玛利亚的两头母牛和牛犊牵走了,——可玛利亚一个钱也没有。我只好帮她赎回了牛。《跨越大陆》的五块钱花掉了。《钟声激越》进了畜栏看守的腰包。”

“那你是不来了么?”

他低头看着他的衣服。

“我来不了。”

她蓝色的服里闪烁起失望和责难的泪花,没有说话。

“明年感恩节我要你跟我到德梦尼可去吃大餐,”他快活地说,“或者是到伦敦、巴黎,或是你想去的任何地方。这我明白。”

“我几天以前在一张报纸上看见,”她突然宣布,“铁路邮局已发了几项当他的任命。你是以第一名考上的,是么?”

他只好承认给了他通知,却被他拒绝了。“那时我对自己很有信心,现在也一样,”他结束道,“一年以后我的收入要超过十二个邮务员。你等着瞧。”

他说完了话,她只“哦”了一声,便站了起来,拉拉手套。“我要走了,亚瑟还在等我呢。”

他伸手接过她来吻她,可她却被动,身体没有激情,胳臂拥抱不紧,接吻也不如平时那么用力。

他从门口回来时的结论是:她生气了。可为什么?畜栏看守把玛利亚的母牛牵走了,那很不幸,可那不过是命运的打击,不能怪任何人的。他也想不出除了他那做法之外还能有什么别的办法。是的,他应该受到埋怨,因为邮局给了他录取通知,他却没去,而且她也不喜欢恢几威几人

他在台阶顶上转过身来,去迎接下午那班邮件。他接过那一扎长信封时,一向就出现的期望的狂热又袭击了他。有一个信封不长,外面印好《纽约远眺》字样。他正要拆信,忽然打住了。那不可能是接受稿件的信。也许——一个异想天开的念头闪过,他的心几乎停止了跳动——说不足他们是向他约稿呢。可他随即丢掉了这念头,那是绝对不可能的。

那是一封官样文章的短信,由办公室编辑署名,只是通知他他们接到一封匿名信,附在信里寄了来;并通知他不必在意,《纽约远眺》编辑部在任何情况下也是不会考虑任何匿名信的意见的。

马丁发现那匿名信是手写的印刷体,写得很糟糕,是一些对马丁的没有教养的谩骂,硬说向各杂志兜售稿子的“所谓马丁·伊登”根本不是作家,实际上他是在从旧杂志上盗窃作品,把它们打出来据为己有往外投稿。信封上邮戳的地点是圣利安德罗。马丁不用多想就发现了那作者。那东西通篇显然都是希金波坦的语法,希金波坦的用语,希金波坦的奇谈怪论。马丁在每一行里看见的都是他姐夫那杂货店老板的粗糙的拳头,而不是他那意大利式的细小的字迹。

可他是为了什么?他百思不得其解。他什么地方得罪了希金波担了?这事太没有道理,太荒唐,无法解释。一周之内东部若干家杂志的编辑部都给他转来了十多封类必的信。马丁的结论是编辑们做得都很漂亮,他们谁都不认识地,可有几个对他还颇表同情。他们显然憎恶匿名信。他明白要想伤害他的阴谋是失败了。实际上此事如果有什么后果,那就只能是好后果,目为他的名字已引起了许多编辑的注意。以后他们读到他的稿子说不定会想起他就是他们曾收到过的匿名信所投诉的人。这样一回忆谁又能说得清它不会影响他们的判断,让他的稿子沾点光呢。

大约就在这个时候马丁的身份在玛利亚的心目中却一落千丈。有天早上玛利亚在厨房里痛苦地呻吟,软弱的眼泪沿着面颊往下流,却仍力不从心地熨烫着一大披衣服。他立即诊断她是害了流感,给她喝了热威士忌(那是布里森登带来的几瓶酒里剩下的),然后命令她躺到床上去。但是玛利亚不肯,她抗议说衣服非烫完不可,当天晚上就要送去,否则明天早上七个饥饿的小西尔伐就没有饭吃。

令玛利亚大吃一惊的是看见马丁·伊登从炉子里抓起一把熨斗,又把一件花哨的连衣裙扔到熨烫板上(这事地老讲个没完,一直到她死去)。那可是凯特·美兰纳百的星期日盛装,而在玛利亚的世界里谁的穿着也比不上她更仔细,更挑剔;何况她还专门带了信来要求那件连衣裙当天晚上必须送去。大家鄙知道她正在跟铁匠约翰·科林斯谈恋爱,玛利亚还悄悄地知道芙兰纳村小姐和科林斯先生明天要到金门公园去玩。玛利亚企图抢救那件连衣裙,但是没有办法。她歪歪倒倒地被马丁扶到一张椅子上坐下,在那里瞪大眼望着他。她眼见他只花了她四分之一的时间就把连衣裙平安无事地熨烫好了,而且不得不向马丁承认他烫得不比地差。

“我可以烫得更快,”他说.“若是你的熨斗烧得更烫的活。”

可那挥舞在他手上的熨斗已经比她敢用的那种熨斗烫了许多。

“你喷水也完全不得法,”他接下去又抱怨,“来,让我来教你怎么喷水。需要压力,要想熨烫得快,就得用力喷。”

他从地客的木料堆里找出了一个打包箱,装上盖子,又在西尔伐家的孩子们搞来准备卖给废品商的废料里搜刮了一番。刚喷过水的衣服放进箱子,盖上熨烫板,然后用熨斗熨,那设计就像这样完成了,可以用了。

“现在你看我,玛利亚,”他说,脱得只剩下一件贴身衬衫,抓起一把他认为“真烧烫了”的熨斗。

“他烫完衣服又洗毛线,”她后来叙述说,“他说,‘玛利亚,你是个大笨蛋,我来教教你洗毛线,’然后就教了我。他十分钟就做好了这部机器——一个桶,一个轮毂,两根杆子,就像那样。”

那设计是马丁在雪莉温泉旅馆从乔那里学来的。轮毂固定在一根垂直的杆子上,构成了春祥,然后把这东西固定在厨房的梁上,让轮载拍打水桶里的毛线衣物,只需要一只手他就可以通通拍打个够。

“我玛利亚以后再也不用洗毛线了,”她的故事总是这样结束,“我只叫娃娃们弄轮毂和水桶就行了。他这人可灵巧,伊登先生。”

可是,马丁的这手精湛的功夫和对她厨房洗衣间的改进却叫他在玛利亚眼中的身分一落千丈。她的想像给他博士的浪漫色彩在现实的冷冰冰的光照前暗淡了下去——原来他以前不过是个洗衣工。于是他那所有的书籍,他那坐了漂亮马车或是带了不知多少瓶威士忌酒来看他的阔朋友都不算回事了。他不过是个工人而已,跟她同一个阶级,同一个层次。他更亲切了,更好接近了,可再也不神秘了。

马丁跟他的家人越来越疏远了。随着希金波坦先生那无端的攻击之后,赫尔曼·冯·史密特先生电摊了牌。马丁在侥幸卖掉几篇小小说。几首俏皮诗和几个笑话之后有过一段短暂的春风得意的时期。他不但还掉了一部分旧帐,还剩下几块钱把黑衣服和自行车赎了回来。自行车的曲轴歪了,需要修理。为了对他未来的妹夫表示好感他把车送到了冯·史密特的修理店。

当天下午那车就由一个小孩送了回来。马丁很高兴,从这番不同寻常的优待马丁得到的结论是;冯·史密特也有表示好感的意思,修理自行车一般是得自己去取的。可是他一检查,却发现车并没有修。他立即给妹妹的未婚夫打了电话,这才知道了那人并不愿意跟他“有仔何形式、任何关系和任何状态的交往”。

“赫尔曼·冯·史密特,”马丁快活地回答道;“我倒真想来会会你,揍你那荷兰鼻子一顿呢。”

“你只要一来我的铺子,我就叫警察,”回答是,“我还得戳穿你的真相。我明白你是什么样的人,可你别想来惹事生非。我不愿意跟你这号人打交道。你这个懒虫,你就是懒,我可不糊涂,你别因为我要娶你的妹妹就想来占什么便宜。你为什么不老老实实去干活?哎,回答呀片

马丁的哲学起了作用,它赶走了他的愤怒,他吹了一声长长的口哨,觉得难以相信的滑稽,桂掉了电话。可随着他的滑稽之感来的是另一种反应,一阵寂寞压上他的心头。谁也不理解他,谁对他都似乎没有用处,除了布里森登之外,而布里森登又不见了,只有上帝才知道到哪里去了。

马丁抱着买来的东西离开水果店回家时,大巴斯黑。路边有一辆电车停了下来,他看见一个熟悉的瘦削身影下了电车,心里不禁欢乐地跳跃起来。是布里森登。在电车起动之前的短暂的一瞥里地注意到布里森登外衣的口袋鼓鼓囊囊的,一边塞着书,一边是一瓶一夸脱装的威士忌酒。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 33楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  33


Martin was steadily losing his battle. Economize as he would, the earnings from hack-work did not balance expenses. Thanksgiving found him with his black suit in pawn and unable to accept the Morses' invitation to dinner. Ruth was not made happy by his reason for not coming, and the corresponding effect on him was one of desperation. He told her that he would come, after all; that he would go over to San Francisco, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office, collect the five dollars due him, and with it redeem his suit of clothes.




In the morning he borrowed ten cents from Maria. He would have borrowed it, by preference, from Brissenden, but that erratic individual had disappeared. Two weeks had passed since Martin had seen him, and he vainly cudgelled his brains for some cause of offence. The ten cents carried Martin across the ferry to San Francisco, and as he walked up Market Street he speculated upon his predicament in case he failed to collect the money. There would then be no way for him to return to Oakland, and he knew no one in San Francisco from whom to borrow another ten cents.




The door to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office was ajar, and Martin, in the act of opening it, was brought to a sudden pause by a loud voice from within, which exclaimed:- "But that is not the question, Mr. Ford." (Ford, Martin knew, from his correspondence, to be the editor's name.) "The question is, are you prepared to pay? - cash, and cash down, I mean? I am not interested in the prospects of the TRANSCONTINENTAL and what you expect to make it next year. What I want is to be paid for what I do. And I tell you, right now, the Christmas TRANSCONTINENTAL don't go to press till I have the money in my hand. Good day. When you get the money, come and see me."




The door jerked open, and the man flung past Martin, with an angry countenance and went down the corridor, muttering curses and clenching his fists. Martin decided not to enter immediately, and lingered in the hallways for a quarter of an hour. Then he shoved the door open and walked in. It was a new experience, the first time he had been inside an editorial office. Cards evidently were not necessary in that office, for the boy carried word to an inner room that there was a man who wanted to see Mr. Ford. Returning, the boy beckoned him from halfway across the room and led him to the private office, the editorial sanctum. Martin's first impression was of the disorder and cluttered confusion of the room. Next he noticed a bewhiskered, youthful-looking man, sitting at a roll-top desk, who regarded him curiously. Martin marvelled at the calm repose of his face. It was evident that the squabble with the printer had not affected his equanimity.




"I - I am Martin Eden," Martin began the conversation. ("And I want my five dollars," was what he would have liked to say.)




But this was his first editor, and under the circumstances he did not desire to scare him too abruptly. To his surprise, Mr. Ford leaped into the air with a "You don't say so!" and the next moment, with both hands, was shaking Martin's hand effusively.




"Can't say how glad I am to see you, Mr. Eden. Often wondered what you were like."




Here he held Martin off at arm's length and ran his beaming eyes over Martin's second-best suit, which was also his worst suit, and which was ragged and past repair, though the trousers showed the careful crease he had put in with Maria's flat-irons.




"I confess, though, I conceived you to be a much older man than you are. Your story, you know, showed such breadth, and vigor, such maturity and depth of thought. A masterpiece, that story - I knew it when I had read the first half-dozen lines. Let me tell you how I first read it. But no; first let me introduce you to the staff."




Still talking, Mr. Ford led him into the general office, where he introduced him to the associate editor, Mr. White, a slender, frail little man whose hand seemed strangely cold, as if he were suffering from a chill, and whose whiskers were sparse and silky.




"And Mr. Ends, Mr. Eden. Mr. Ends is our business manager, you know."




Martin found himself shaking hands with a cranky-eyed, bald-headed man, whose face looked youthful enough from what little could be seen of it, for most of it was covered by a snow-white beard, carefully trimmed - by his wife, who did it on Sundays, at which times she also shaved the back of his neck.




The three men surrounded Martin, all talking admiringly and at once, until it seemed to him that they were talking against time for a wager.




"We often wondered why you didn't call," Mr. White was saying.




"I didn't have the carfare, and I live across the Bay," Martin answered bluntly, with the idea of showing them his imperative need for the money.




Surely, he thought to himself, my glad rags in themselves are eloquent advertisement of my need. Time and again, whenever opportunity offered, he hinted about the purpose of his business. But his admirers' ears were deaf. They sang his praises, told him what they had thought of his story at first sight, what they subsequently thought, what their wives and families thought; but not one hint did they breathe of intention to pay him for it.




"Did I tell you how I first read your story?" Mr. Ford said. "Of course I didn't. I was coming west from New York, and when the train stopped at Ogden, the train-boy on the new run brought aboard the current number of the TRANSCONTINENTAL."




My God! Martin thought; you can travel in a Pullman while I starve for the paltry five dollars you owe me. A wave of anger rushed over him. The wrong done him by the TRANSCONTINENTAL loomed colossal, for strong upon him were all the dreary months of vain yearning, of hunger and privation, and his present hunger awoke and gnawed at him, reminding him that he had eaten nothing since the day before, and little enough then. For the moment he saw red. These creatures were not even robbers. They were sneak-thieves. By lies and broken promises they had tricked him out of his story. Well, he would show them. And a great resolve surged into his will to the effect that he would not leave the office until he got his money. He remembered, if he did not get it, that there was no way for him to go back to Oakland. He controlled himself with an effort, but not before the wolfish expression of his face had awed and perturbed them.




They became more voluble than ever. Mr. Ford started anew to tell how he had first read "The Ring of Bells," and Mr. Ends at the same time was striving to repeat his niece's appreciation of "The Ring of Bells," said niece being a school-teacher in Alameda.




"I'll tell you what I came for," Martin said finally. "To be paid for that story all of you like so well. Five dollars, I believe, is what you promised me would be paid on publication."




Mr. Ford, with an expression on his mobile features of mediate and happy acquiescence, started to reach for his pocket, then turned suddenly to Mr. Ends, and said that he had left his money home. That Mr. Ends resented this, was patent; and Martin saw the twitch of his arm as if to protect his trousers pocket. Martin knew that the money was there.




"I am sorry," said Mr. Ends, "but I paid the printer not an hour ago, and he took my ready change. It was careless of me to be so short; but the bill was not yet due, and the printer's request, as a favor, to make an immediate advance, was quite unexpected."




Both men looked expectantly at Mr. White, but that gentleman laughed and shrugged his shoulders. His conscience was clean at any rate. He had come into the TRANSCONTINENTAL to learn magazine- literature, instead of which he had principally learned finance. The TRANSCONTINENTAL owed him four months' salary, and he knew that the printer must be appeased before the associate editor.




"It's rather absurd, Mr. Eden, to have caught us in this shape," Mr. Ford preambled airily. "All carelessness, I assure you. But I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll mail you a check the first thing in the morning. You have Mr. Eden's address, haven't you, Mr. Ends?"




Yes, Mr. Ends had the address, and the check would be mailed the first thing in the morning. Martin's knowledge of banks and checks was hazy, but he could see no reason why they should not give him the check on this day just as well as on the next.




"Then it is understood, Mr. Eden, that we'll mail you the check to- morrow?" Mr. Ford said.




"I need the money to-day," Martin answered stolidly.




"The unfortunate circumstances - if you had chanced here any other day," Mr. Ford began suavely, only to be interrupted by Mr. Ends, whose cranky eyes justified themselves in his shortness of temper.




"Mr. Ford has already explained the situation," he said with asperity. "And so have I. The check will be mailed - "




"I also have explained," Martin broke in, "and I have explained that I want the money to-day."




He had felt his pulse quicken a trifle at the business manager's brusqueness, and upon him he kept an alert eye, for it was in that gentleman's trousers pocket that he divined the TRANSCONTINENTAL'S ready cash was reposing.




"It is too bad - " Mr. Ford began.




But at that moment, with an impatient movement, Mr. Ends turned as if about to leave the room. At the same instant Martin sprang for him, clutching him by the throat with one hand in such fashion that Mr. Ends' snow-white beard, still maintaining its immaculate trimness, pointed ceilingward at an angle of forty-five degrees. To the horror of Mr. White and Mr. Ford, they saw their business manager shaken like an Astrakhan rug.




"Dig up, you venerable discourager of rising young talent!" Martin exhorted. "Dig up, or I'll shake it out of you, even if it's all in nickels." Then, to the two affrighted onlookers: "Keep away! If you interfere, somebody's liable to get hurt."




Mr. Ends was choking, and it was not until the grip on his throat was eased that he was able to signify his acquiescence in the digging-up programme. All together, after repeated digs, its trousers pocket yielded four dollars and fifteen cents.




"Inside out with it," Martin commanded.




An additional ten cents fell out. Martin counted the result of his raid a second time to make sure.




"You next!" he shouted at Mr. Ford. "I want seventy-five cents more."




Mr. Ford did not wait, but ransacked his pockets, with the result of sixty cents.




"Sure that is all?" Martin demanded menacingly, possessing himself of it. "What have you got in your vest pockets?"




In token of his good faith, Mr. Ford turned two of his pockets inside out. A strip of cardboard fell to the floor from one of them. He recovered it and was in the act of returning it, when Martin cried:-




"What's that? - A ferry ticket? Here, give it to me. It's worth ten cents. I'll credit you with it. I've now got four dollars and ninety-five cents, including the ticket. Five cents is still due me."




He looked fiercely at Mr. White, and found that fragile creature in the act of handing him a nickel.




"Thank you," Martin said, addressing them collectively. "I wish you a good day."




"Robber!" Mr. Ends snarled after him.




"Sneak-thief!" Martin retorted, slamming the door as he passed out.




Martin was elated - so elated that when he recollected that THE HORNET owed him fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl," he decided forthwith to go and collect it. But THE HORNET was run by a set of clean-shaven, strapping young men, frank buccaneers who robbed everything and everybody, not excepting one another. After some breakage of the office furniture, the editor (an ex-college athlete), ably assisted by the business manager, an advertising agent, and the porter, succeeded in removing Martin from the office and in accelerating, by initial impulse, his descent of the first flight of stairs.




"Come again, Mr. Eden; glad to see you any time," they laughed down at him from the landing above.




Martin grinned as he picked himself up.




"Phew!" he murmured back. "The TRANSCONTINENTAL crowd were nanny- goats, but you fellows are a lot of prize-fighters."




More laughter greeted this.




"I must say, Mr. Eden," the editor of THE HORNET called down, "that for a poet you can go some yourself. Where did you learn that right cross - if I may ask?"




"Where you learned that half-Nelson," Martin answered. "Anyway, you're going to have a black eye."




"I hope your neck doesn't stiffen up," the editor wished solicitously: "What do you say we all go out and have a drink on it - not the neck, of course, but the little rough-house?"




"I'll go you if I lose," Martin accepted.




And robbers and robbed drank together, amicably agreeing that the battle was to the strong, and that the fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl" belonged by right to THE HORNET'S editorial staff.




CHAPTER XXXIII 




Martin was steadily losing his battle. Economize as he would, the earnings from hack-work did not balance expenses. Thanksgiving found him with his black suit in pawn and unable to accept the Morses' invitation to dinner. Ruth was not made happy by his reason for not coming, and the corresponding effect on him was one of desperation. He told her that he would come, after all; that he would go over to San Francisco, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office, collect the five dollars due him, and with it redeem his suit of clothes.




In the morning he borrowed ten cents from Maria. He would have borrowed it, by preference, from Brissenden, but that erratic individual had disappeared. Two weeks had passed since Martin had seen him, and he vainly cudgelled his brains for some cause of offence. The ten cents carried Martin across the ferry to San Francisco, and as he walked up Market Street he speculated upon his predicament in case he failed to collect the money. There would then be no way for him to return to Oakland, and he knew no one in San Francisco from whom to borrow another ten cents.




The door to the TRANSCONTINENTAL office was ajar, and Martin, in the act of opening it, was brought to a sudden pause by a loud voice from within, which exclaimed:- "But that is not the question, Mr. Ford." (Ford, Martin knew, from his correspondence, to be the editor's name.) "The question is, are you prepared to pay? - cash, and cash down, I mean? I am not interested in the prospects of the TRANSCONTINENTAL and what you expect to make it next year. What I want is to be paid for what I do. And I tell you, right now, the Christmas TRANSCONTINENTAL don't go to press till I have the money in my hand. Good day. When you get the money, come and see me."




The door jerked open, and the man flung past Martin, with an angry countenance and went down the corridor, muttering curses and clenching his fists. Martin decided not to enter immediately, and lingered in the hallways for a quarter of an hour. Then he shoved the door open and walked in. It was a new experience, the first time he had been inside an editorial office. Cards evidently were not necessary in that office, for the boy carried word to an inner room that there was a man who wanted to see Mr. Ford. Returning, the boy beckoned him from halfway across the room and led him to the private office, the editorial sanctum. Martin's first impression was of the disorder and cluttered confusion of the room. Next he noticed a bewhiskered, youthful-looking man, sitting at a roll-top desk, who regarded him curiously. Martin marvelled at the calm repose of his face. It was evident that the squabble with the printer had not affected his equanimity.




"I - I am Martin Eden," Martin began the conversation. ("And I want my five dollars," was what he would have liked to say.)




But this was his first editor, and under the circumstances he did not desire to scare him too abruptly. To his surprise, Mr. Ford leaped into the air with a "You don't say so!" and the next moment, with both hands, was shaking Martin's hand effusively.




"Can't say how glad I am to see you, Mr. Eden. Often wondered what you were like."




Here he held Martin off at arm's length and ran his beaming eyes over Martin's second-best suit, which was also his worst suit, and which was ragged and past repair, though the trousers showed the careful crease he had put in with Maria's flat-irons.




"I confess, though, I conceived you to be a much older man than you are. Your story, you know, showed such breadth, and vigor, such maturity and depth of thought. A masterpiece, that story - I knew it when I had read the first half-dozen lines. Let me tell you how I first read it. But no; first let me introduce you to the staff."




Still talking, Mr. Ford led him into the general office, where he introduced him to the associate editor, Mr. White, a slender, frail little man whose hand seemed strangely cold, as if he were suffering from a chill, and whose whiskers were sparse and silky.




"And Mr. Ends, Mr. Eden. Mr. Ends is our business manager, you know."




Martin found himself shaking hands with a cranky-eyed, bald-headed man, whose face looked youthful enough from what little could be seen of it, for most of it was covered by a snow-white beard, carefully trimmed - by his wife, who did it on Sundays, at which times she also shaved the back of his neck.




The three men surrounded Martin, all talking admiringly and at once, until it seemed to him that they were talking against time for a wager.




"We often wondered why you didn't call," Mr. White was saying.




"I didn't have the carfare, and I live across the Bay," Martin answered bluntly, with the idea of showing them his imperative need for the money.




Surely, he thought to himself, my glad rags in themselves are eloquent advertisement of my need. Time and again, whenever opportunity offered, he hinted about the purpose of his business. But his admirers' ears were deaf. They sang his praises, told him what they had thought of his story at first sight, what they subsequently thought, what their wives and families thought; but not one hint did they breathe of intention to pay him for it.




"Did I tell you how I first read your story?" Mr. Ford said. "Of course I didn't. I was coming west from New York, and when the train stopped at Ogden, the train-boy on the new run brought aboard the current number of the TRANSCONTINENTAL."




My God! Martin thought; you can travel in a Pullman while I starve for the paltry five dollars you owe me. A wave of anger rushed over him. The wrong done him by the TRANSCONTINENTAL loomed colossal, for strong upon him were all the dreary months of vain yearning, of hunger and privation, and his present hunger awoke and gnawed at him, reminding him that he had eaten nothing since the day before, and little enough then. For the moment he saw red. These creatures were not even robbers. They were sneak-thieves. By lies and broken promises they had tricked him out of his story. Well, he would show them. And a great resolve surged into his will to the effect that he would not leave the office until he got his money. He remembered, if he did not get it, that there was no way for him to go back to Oakland. He controlled himself with an effort, but not before the wolfish expression of his face had awed and perturbed them.




They became more voluble than ever. Mr. Ford started anew to tell how he had first read "The Ring of Bells," and Mr. Ends at the same time was striving to repeat his niece's appreciation of "The Ring of Bells," said niece being a school-teacher in Alameda.




"I'll tell you what I came for," Martin said finally. "To be paid for that story all of you like so well. Five dollars, I believe, is what you promised me would be paid on publication."




Mr. Ford, with an expression on his mobile features of mediate and happy acquiescence, started to reach for his pocket, then turned suddenly to Mr. Ends, and said that he had left his money home. That Mr. Ends resented this, was patent; and Martin saw the twitch of his arm as if to protect his trousers pocket. Martin knew that the money was there.




"I am sorry," said Mr. Ends, "but I paid the printer not an hour ago, and he took my ready change. It was careless of me to be so short; but the bill was not yet due, and the printer's request, as a favor, to make an immediate advance, was quite unexpected."




Both men looked expectantly at Mr. White, but that gentleman laughed and shrugged his shoulders. His conscience was clean at any rate. He had come into the TRANSCONTINENTAL to learn magazine- literature, instead of which he had principally learned finance. The TRANSCONTINENTAL owed him four months' salary, and he knew that the printer must be appeased before the associate editor.




"It's rather absurd, Mr. Eden, to have caught us in this shape," Mr. Ford preambled airily. "All carelessness, I assure you. But I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll mail you a check the first thing in the morning. You have Mr. Eden's address, haven't you, Mr. Ends?"




Yes, Mr. Ends had the address, and the check would be mailed the first thing in the morning. Martin's knowledge of banks and checks was hazy, but he could see no reason why they should not give him the check on this day just as well as on the next.




"Then it is understood, Mr. Eden, that we'll mail you the check to- morrow?" Mr. Ford said.




"I need the money to-day," Martin answered stolidly.




"The unfortunate circumstances - if you had chanced here any other day," Mr. Ford began suavely, only to be interrupted by Mr. Ends, whose cranky eyes justified themselves in his shortness of temper.




"Mr. Ford has already explained the situation," he said with asperity. "And so have I. The check will be mailed - "




"I also have explained," Martin broke in, "and I have explained that I want the money to-day."




He had felt his pulse quicken a trifle at the business manager's brusqueness, and upon him he kept an alert eye, for it was in that gentleman's trousers pocket that he divined the TRANSCONTINENTAL'S ready cash was reposing.




"It is too bad - " Mr. Ford began.




But at that moment, with an impatient movement, Mr. Ends turned as if about to leave the room. At the same instant Martin sprang for him, clutching him by the throat with one hand in such fashion that Mr. Ends' snow-white beard, still maintaining its immaculate trimness, pointed ceilingward at an angle of forty-five degrees. To the horror of Mr. White and Mr. Ford, they saw their business manager shaken like an Astrakhan rug.




"Dig up, you venerable discourager of rising young talent!" Martin exhorted. "Dig up, or I'll shake it out of you, even if it's all in nickels." Then, to the two affrighted onlookers: "Keep away! If you interfere, somebody's liable to get hurt."




Mr. Ends was choking, and it was not until the grip on his throat was eased that he was able to signify his acquiescence in the digging-up programme. All together, after repeated digs, its trousers pocket yielded four dollars and fifteen cents.




"Inside out with it," Martin commanded.




An additional ten cents fell out. Martin counted the result of his raid a second time to make sure.




"You next!" he shouted at Mr. Ford. "I want seventy-five cents more."




Mr. Ford did not wait, but ransacked his pockets, with the result of sixty cents.




"Sure that is all?" Martin demanded menacingly, possessing himself of it. "What have you got in your vest pockets?"




In token of his good faith, Mr. Ford turned two of his pockets inside out. A strip of cardboard fell to the floor from one of them. He recovered it and was in the act of returning it, when Martin cried:-




"What's that? - A ferry ticket? Here, give it to me. It's worth ten cents. I'll credit you with it. I've now got four dollars and ninety-five cents, including the ticket. Five cents is still due me."




He looked fiercely at Mr. White, and found that fragile creature in the act of handing him a nickel.




"Thank you," Martin said, addressing them collectively. "I wish you a good day."




"Robber!" Mr. Ends snarled after him.




"Sneak-thief!" Martin retorted, slamming the door as he passed out.




Martin was elated - so elated that when he recollected that THE HORNET owed him fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl," he decided forthwith to go and collect it. But THE HORNET was run by a set of clean-shaven, strapping young men, frank buccaneers who robbed everything and everybody, not excepting one another. After some breakage of the office furniture, the editor (an ex-college athlete), ably assisted by the business manager, an advertising agent, and the porter, succeeded in removing Martin from the office and in accelerating, by initial impulse, his descent of the first flight of stairs.




"Come again, Mr. Eden; glad to see you any time," they laughed down at him from the landing above.




Martin grinned as he picked himself up.




"Phew!" he murmured back. "The TRANSCONTINENTAL crowd were nanny- goats, but you fellows are a lot of prize-fighters."




More laughter greeted this.




"I must say, Mr. Eden," the editor of THE HORNET called down, "that for a poet you can go some yourself. Where did you learn that right cross - if I may ask?"




"Where you learned that half-Nelson," Martin answered. "Anyway, you're going to have a black eye."




"I hope your neck doesn't stiffen up," the editor wished solicitously: "What do you say we all go out and have a drink on it - not the neck, of course, but the little rough-house?"




"I'll go you if I lose," Martin accepted.




And robbers and robbed drank together, amicably agreeing that the battle was to the strong, and that the fifteen dollars for "The Peri and the Pearl" belonged by right to THE HORNET'S editorial staff.
马丁的战斗节节败退。他尽量节省,可下锅之作的进项仍然入不敷出。感恩节时他的黑色拜客服又进了当铺,无法接受莫尔斯家的邀请去参加宴会。他不能参加宴会的理由使露丝很不高兴,这就逼得他破釜沉舟了。他告诉她他归根到底是准定会去的。他要到旧金山的《跨越大陆》杂志社去讨还他们欠他的五块钱,拿那钱去赎衣服。

早上他向玛利亚借了一毛钱——他倒愿意从布里森登借,但是那怪人却失踪了。马丁上次见他之后已经两个礼拜,他绞尽脑计要想出在什么地方得罪了他,却没有结果。那一毛钱让马丁过了轮渡,到了旧金山。在地沿着市场街走着的时候,心里考虑着要是收不到钱自己的狼狈处境。那他就无法回奥克兰了,而他在旧金山又没有熟人,没有地方再借一毛钱。

《跨越大陆》办公室的门虚掩着,马丁正打算开门,屋里突然高叫了起来,他急忙住了手。那声音在说:——

“可是问题不在这儿,福特先生!”(马丁从信函来往知道福特是编辑的名字。)问题在你们是否打算给钱?——现钱,现付,我的意思是。我对《跨越大陆》的远景和你打算明年把它办成什么样子不感兴趣。我要的是干工作得付报酬。而且我告诉你,现在就要。钱不到我手里,圣诞节这期《跨越大陆》就不开印。再见,有了钱再来找我。”

门猛地打开了,那人满脸怒气从马丁身边擦过,沿着走廊走去,嘴里骂着,擤着拳头。马丁决定暂不进去,他在门厅里逗留了半小时,这才推门进入。那是个新的体验,他是第一次进入一家编辑室。在那个办公室里显然用不着名片,因为那小厮到一间里屋去通报了有人要见福特先生,回来时半路就招呼他过去,然后引他进了那间个人办公室——编辑的专用房间。马丁的第一个印象是那屋子杂乱无章。然后他看见了一个长连鬓胡子的、相貌年轻的编辑坐在一张带卷边桌面的办公桌边,好奇地打量着他。马丁为他脸上的平静安详感到惊讶。和印刷商的吵闹显然没有扰乱他的方寸。

“找——我是马丁·伊登,”马丁开始了谈话。(他恨不得马上就悦:“我要我的那五块钱。”但这是他见到的第一个编辑,在当时情况下他不愿太意外地惊扰他。可令他大吃一惊的是,福特先生却跳了起来,叫道:“难道真是你么!”而且立即双手摸住他,和他热情洋溢地握起了来。

“见了你真有说不出的高兴,伊登先生。我常常在猜想你是个什么样子呢!”

此时他伸直手推开他,用喜气洋洋的眼睛打量起他那套次好的服装,也就是最差的服装来。那衣服褴褛得无法修补,虽然他用玛利亚的熨斗把裤子仔细熨出了棱角。

“不过,我得承认,找把你的年龄估计得大了许多。你的小说表现了]”阔的胸怀、气魄和成熟,还有思维的深度,是一部杰作——我只读了五六行就看出来了。让我来告诉你我最初是怎么读到的吧。不过,别忙,让我先介绍你和我的同事们认识。”

福特先生说着话领他进了大办公室,把他介绍给了副编辑怀传先生,一个细瘦的衰弱的小个于,手仿佛在发寒病,冷得奇特,稀稀落落的连鬓胡闪着丝一样的光。

“还有恩孜先生,这是伊登先生。恩孜先生是我们的业务经理,你知道。”

马丁发现和自己握手的是一个目光闪烁不定的秃头。那人脸上看得见的部分显得年轻——大部分面孔都叫雪白的胡须遮住了。那胡须修剪得很仔细——是他的妻子星期天修的,她也修剪了他的后颈窝。

三个人包围了马丁,一律说起赞扬的话来,直说到马丁感觉他们曾打过赌,比赛谁说话最卖劲。

“我们常常奇怪你怎么不来看看我们。”怀特先生说。

“我没有车费,我住在海湾对面,”马丁开门见山地说,想让他们明白他迫切地需要钱。

当然,他心想,我这身漂亮的破衣服本身就是强有力的广告,可以告诉他们找多么需要钱。

一有机会他就向他们暗示他此来的目的。他一再暗示,阻他的崇拜者们却是些聋子。他们大唱着赞歌,告诉他他们第一眼看见他的作品时是如何想的,以后又是如何想的,他们的老婆和家里人又是如何想的。只是一点点也没有表示给他稿费的意思。

“我告诉了你我是怎么第一次读你的作品的么?”福特先生说,“当然,还没有。我从纽约往西回来,火车到了奥格登,下一班乘务员把最新一期《跨越大陆》拿上了火车。”

天呀!你倒在坐豪华列车旅行,我却在为你们欠我的那可怜的五块钱挨饿。一阵怒火猛然升起,《跨越大陆》叫他受的委屈急剧膨胀,多少个月来他凄凄凉凉空空地等待,忍饥受苦,现在他的饥饿也醒了过来,咬啮着他,提醒他他从昨天就没有吃饭,而最后的那一顿也吃得很少。他不禁发起狂来。这些家伙甚至不是强盗,而是鬼鬼祟祟的小偷。他们用谎言和空头许诺骗走了他的小说。哼,他得给他们个好看。他下定了最大的决心不拿到钱决不离开办公室。他又想起如果得不到钱他就无法回到奥克兰去。他努力克制住自己,可他脸上那狼一样的表情已经吓得他们心慌意乱。

他们越来越夸夸其谈。福特先生重新谈起他第一次读到《钟声激越》的情况;恩孜先生也同时努力重复他的侄女对《钟声激越》的欣赏,并说他侄女在阿拉美达做教师。

“我来告诉你们我的来意吧,”马丁终于说了,“我是来拿你们大家都那么喜欢的那篇小说的稿费的。五块钱,我相信,这就是你们答应在发表之后给我的报酬。”

福特先生灵活的眉眼立即欢欢喜喜表示同意,伸手摸向口袋,却突然转身对恩孜先生说他把钱忘在家里了。恩孜先生显然不高兴;马丁看见他手一动,好像要保护他的裤子口袋,明白了他的钱就在那儿。

“对不起,”恩孜先生说,“可是我不到一小时以前付了印刷费,现金用光了。一不小心就拿不出钱了;支票还没有到期,印刷所老板却求我帮忙,立即预支给他。事出意外。”

两人都眼巴巴望着怀特先生,但是那位先生却笑了,耸了耸肩。他至少问心无愧。他当初到《跨越大陆》原想学习杂志文学,可到头来他主要学的却是财务周转。《跨越大陆》欠了他四个月的薪,他明白先得满足了印刷所老板才轮得到他这个副编辑。

“叫你撞见我们这种情况,真是有点荒乎其唐,伊登先生,”福特先生笑眯眯地说开了。“我向你保证,完全是意外,不过,我可以告诉你我们怎么办。明天早上我们第一件事就是给你寄支票去。你有伊登先生的地址的,是么,思孜先生?”

不错,恩孜先生有地址,明天早上第一件事就是寄支票。马丁对于银行和支票的事不大明白,可他也看不出他们有什么理由今天不给他支票,而要等到明天。

“那就是说,得到了伊登先生的谅解,明天给你寄去支票?”

“我今天就需要钱,”马丁顽强地说。

“情况太不巧了,你哪天来都——”福特先生彬彬有礼地说,却叫恩孜先生打断了。恩孜先生的急躁脾气证实了他那急躁的眼神。

“福特先生已经解释过了,”他粗暴地说,“我也讲得很明白。支票明天就——”

“我也已经解释过了,”马丁插嘴说,“我解释过我今天就得要钱。”

那位业务经理的蛮横使马丁的脉搏加快了跳动,同时他也警惕地注视着,因为他已经猜到《跨越大陆》的现金就躺在那家伙的裤子口袋里。

“非常不巧——”福特先生开始了。

这时恩孜先生却做了个不耐烦的动作,转过身去,好像打算开溜。马丁立即跳了过去,一手揪住了他的喉咙,揪得恩孜先生那依然一尘不染的白胡须向大花板翘起,呈四十五度角。怀特和福特两位先生看见他们的业务经理叫他像摇阿斯特拉罕地毯一样摇撼着,简直吓坏了。

“掏出来,你这压制年轻天才的老混蛋!”马丁追逼着,“掏呀,否则我就给你摇晃出来。哪怕全是五分的镍币也行。”然后又对那吓坏了的两位看客叫道,“让开!谁要来干涉,可别怪我不客气。”

恩孜先生呛得透不过气来,直到喉咙上的手放松了一些,才算说出了话,表示同意掏钱。他掏了又掏,从他的裤子口袋里一共掏出了四块一毛五分钱。

“翻口袋!”马丁命令。

又掉下来一毛钱。为了稳妥起见,马丁再数了一下他此番袭击的收入。

“你是下一个!”他对福特先生下达命令,“我还得收七毛五分。”

福特先生不敢怠慢,急忙掏腰包。掏出了六毛钱。

“就这么点?”马丁气势汹汹地追问,拿过了钱。“你背心口袋里有没有?”

为了表明心迹,福特先生把两个口袋都翻了过来。一张硬纸片从口袋里掉到地板上。他捡了起来,正要放回口袋,马丁叫道:——

“是什么?——轮渡票?这儿,给我,也值一毛钱呢。也算是你还的。我现在得到了四块九毛五,还差五分。”

他狠狠地望着怀特先生,望着那弱不禁风的先生递给他一个五分的镍币。

“谢谢,”马丁对他们三个人说,“再见。”

“强盗!”恩孜先生对着他的背影说。

“小偷!”马丁反驳说.砰地一声关上门,走了出去。

马丁飘飘然了,他想起《大黄蜂》还欠他十五块钱《仙女与珍珠》的稿费,决定如法炮制。但是《大黄蜂》却是一帮脸上刮得光光的健壮青年办的,都是些公然的海盗.谁都抢,什么都抢,连彼此都抢。打破了一些家具之后.编辑在业务经理和广告代理人和门房的有力协助下终于把马丁搡出了办公室,那最初的一搡竟把他送下了第一道阶梯。

“欢迎再来,马丁先生,欢迎你任何时候光临。”他们居高临下从梯口平台对他叫道。

马丁爬了起来,却咧开嘴笑着。

“嗨哟!”他对他们嘟哝道,“《跨越大陆》那帮人全是些母羊,你们倒是些拳击能手。”

回答他这话的是更多的笑声。

“我得说,伊登先生,”《大黄蜂》的编辑俯身叫道,“作为诗人你倒还真有两手。请问,你那手右推挡是从哪儿学来的?”

“就从你学到你那后锁颈的地方学来的,”马丁回答,“总之能打得你鼻青眼黑。”

“你脖子没有僵硬吧,我担心,”编辑关心地问,“咱们一块出去喝一杯庆祝庆祝怎么样?——当然不是庆祝脖子僵硬,是庆祝这一套开打戏。”

“我若是喝不过你们,就由我请客,”马丁接受了。

于是打劫的和被打劫的杯酒言和,双方亲切地同意了强者必胜的道理,《仙女与珍珠》那十五块钱稿费理所当然地归了《大黄蜂》编辑部。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 32楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  32


Promptly, the next afternoon, Maria was excited by Martin's second visitor. But she did not lose her head this time, for she seated Brissenden in her parlor's grandeur of respectability.




"Hope you don't mind my coming?" Brissenden began.




"No, no, not at all," Martin answered, shaking hands and waving him to the solitary chair, himself taking to the bed. "But how did you know where I lived?"




"Called up the Morses. Miss Morse answered the 'phone. And here I am." He tugged at his coat pocket and flung a thin volume on the table. "There's a book, by a poet. Read it and keep it." And then, in reply to Martin's protest: "What have I to do with books? I had another hemorrhage this morning. Got any whiskey? No, of course not. Wait a minute."




He was off and away. Martin watched his long figure go down the outside steps, and, on turning to close the gate, noted with a pang the shoulders, which had once been broad, drawn in now over, the collapsed ruin of the chest. Martin got two tumblers, and fell to reading the book of verse, Henry Vaughn Marlow's latest collection.




"No Scotch," Brissenden announced on his return. "The beggar sells nothing but American whiskey. But here's a quart of it."




"I'll send one of the youngsters for lemons, and we'll make a toddy," Martin offered.




"I wonder what a book like that will earn Marlow?" he went on, holding up the volume in question.




"Possibly fifty dollars," came the answer. "Though he's lucky if he pulls even on it, or if he can inveigle a publisher to risk bringing it out."




"Then one can't make a living out of poetry?"




Martin's tone and face alike showed his dejection.




"Certainly not. What fool expects to? Out of rhyming, yes. There's Bruce, and Virginia Spring, and Sedgwick. They do very nicely. But poetry - do you know how Vaughn Marlow makes his living? - teaching in a boys' cramming-joint down in Pennsylvania, and of all private little hells such a billet is the limit. I wouldn't trade places with him if he had fifty years of life before him. And yet his work stands out from the ruck of the contemporary versifiers as a balas ruby among carrots. And the reviews he gets! Damn them, all of them, the crass manikins!"




"Too much is written by the men who can't write about the men who do write," Martin concurred. "Why, I was appalled at the quantities of rubbish written about Stevenson and his work."




"Ghouls and harpies!" Brissenden snapped out with clicking teeth. "Yes, I know the spawn - complacently pecking at him for his Father Damien letter, analyzing him, weighing him - "




"Measuring him by the yardstick of their own miserable egos," Martin broke in.




"Yes, that's it, a good phrase, - mouthing and besliming the True, and Beautiful, and Good, and finally patting him on the back and saying, 'Good dog, Fido.' Faugh! 'The little chattering daws of men,' Richard Realf called them the night he died."




"Pecking at star-dust," Martin took up the strain warmly; "at the meteoric flight of the master-men. I once wrote a squib on them - the critics, or the reviewers, rather."




"Let's see it," Brissenden begged eagerly.




So Martin unearthed a carbon copy of "Star-dust," and during the reading of it Brissenden chuckled, rubbed his hands, and forgot to sip his toddy.




"Strikes me you're a bit of star-dust yourself, flung into a world of cowled gnomes who cannot see," was his comment at the end of it. "Of course it was snapped up by the first magazine?"




Martin ran over the pages of his manuscript book. "It has been refused by twenty-seven of them."




Brissenden essayed a long and hearty laugh, but broke down in a fit of coughing.




"Say, you needn't tell me you haven't tackled poetry," he gasped. "Let me see some of it."




"Don't read it now," Martin pleaded. "I want to talk with you. I'll make up a bundle and you can take it home."




Brissenden departed with the "Love-cycle," and "The Peri and the Pearl," returning next day to greet Martin with:-




"I want more."




Not only did he assure Martin that he was a poet, but Martin learned that Brissenden also was one. He was swept off his feet by the other's work, and astounded that no attempt had been made to publish it.




"A plague on all their houses!" was Brissenden's answer to Martin's volunteering to market his work for him. "Love Beauty for its own sake," was his counsel, "and leave the magazines alone. Back to your ships and your sea - that's my advice to you, Martin Eden. What do you want in these sick and rotten cities of men? You are cutting your throat every day you waste in them trying to prostitute beauty to the needs of magazinedom. What was it you quoted me the other day? - Oh, yes, 'Man, the latest of the ephemera.' Well, what do you, the latest of the ephemera, want with fame? If you got it, it would be poison to you. You are too simple, took elemental, and too rational, by my faith, to prosper on such pap. I hope you never do sell a line to the magazines. Beauty is the only master to serve. Serve her and damn the multitude! Success! What in hell's success if it isn't right there in your Stevenson sonnet, which outranks Henley's 'Apparition,' in that 'Love-cycle,' in those sea-poems?




"It is not in what you succeed in doing that you get your joy, but in the doing of it. You can't tell me. I know it. You know it. Beauty hurts you. It is an everlasting pain in you, a wound that does not heal, a knife of flame. Why should you palter with magazines? Let beauty be your end. Why should you mint beauty into gold? Anyway, you can't; so there's no use in my getting excited over it. You can read the magazines for a thousand years and you won't find the value of one line of Keats. Leave fame and coin alone, sign away on a ship to-morrow, and go back to your sea."




"Not for fame, but for love," Martin laughed. "Love seems to have no place in your Cosmos; in mine, Beauty is the handmaiden of Love."




Brissenden looked at him pityingly and admiringly. "You are so young, Martin boy, so young. You will flutter high, but your wings are of the finest gauze, dusted with the fairest pigments. Do not scorch them. But of course you have scorched them already. It required some glorified petticoat to account for that 'Love-cycle,' and that's the shame of it."




"It glorifies love as well as the petticoat," Martin laughed.




"The philosophy of madness," was the retort. "So have I assured myself when wandering in hasheesh dreams. But beware. These bourgeois cities will kill you. Look at that den of traitors where I met you. Dry rot is no name for it. One can't keep his sanity in such an atmosphere. It's degrading. There's not one of them who is not degrading, man and woman, all of them animated stomachs guided by the high intellectual and artistic impulses of clams - "




He broke off suddenly and regarded Martin. Then, with a flash of divination, he saw the situation. The expression on his face turned to wondering horror.




"And you wrote that tremendous 'Love-cycle' to her - that pale, shrivelled, female thing!"




The next instant Martin's right hand had shot to a throttling clutch on his throat, and he was being shaken till his teeth rattled. But Martin, looking into his eyes, saw no fear there, - naught but a curious and mocking devil. Martin remembered himself, and flung Brissenden, by the neck, sidelong upon the bed, at the same moment releasing his hold.




Brissenden panted and gasped painfully for a moment, then began to chuckle.




"You had made me eternally your debtor had you shaken out the flame," he said.




"My nerves are on a hair-trigger these days," Martin apologized. "Hope I didn't hurt you. Here, let me mix a fresh toddy."




"Ah, you young Greek!" Brissenden went on. "I wonder if you take just pride in that body of yours. You are devilish strong. You are a young panther, a lion cub. Well, well, it is you who must pay for that strength."




"What do you mean?" Martin asked curiously, passing aim a glass. "Here, down this and be good."




"Because - " Brissenden sipped his toddy and smiled appreciation of it. "Because of the women. They will worry you until you die, as they have already worried you, or else I was born yesterday. Now there's no use in your choking me; I'm going to have my say. This is undoubtedly your calf love; but for Beauty's sake show better taste next time. What under heaven do you want with a daughter of the bourgeoisie? Leave them alone. Pick out some great, wanton flame of a woman, who laughs at life and jeers at death and loves one while she may. There are such women, and they will love you just as readily as any pusillanimous product of bourgeois sheltered life."




"Pusillanimous?" Martin protested.




"Just so, pusillanimous; prattling out little moralities that have been prattled into them, and afraid to live life. They will love you, Martin, but they will love their little moralities more. What you want is the magnificent abandon of life, the great free souls, the blazing butterflies and not the little gray moths. Oh, you will grow tired of them, too, of all the female things, if you are unlucky enough to live. But you won't live. You won't go back to your ships and sea; therefore, you'll hang around these pest-holes of cities until your bones are rotten, and then you'll die."




"You can lecture me, but you can't make me talk back," Martin said. "After all, you have but the wisdom of your temperament, and the wisdom of my temperament is just as unimpeachable as yours."




They disagreed about love, and the magazines, and many things, but they liked each other, and on Martin's part it was no less than a profound liking. Day after day they were together, if for no more than the hour Brissenden spent in Martin's stuffy room. Brissenden never arrived without his quart of whiskey, and when they dined together down-town, he drank Scotch and soda throughout the meal. He invariably paid the way for both, and it was through him that Martin learned the refinements of food, drank his first champagne, and made acquaintance with Rhenish wines.




But Brissenden was always an enigma. With the face of an ascetic, he was, in all the failing blood of him, a frank voluptuary. He was unafraid to die, bitter and cynical of all the ways of living; and yet, dying, he loved life, to the last atom of it. He was possessed by a madness to live, to thrill, "to squirm my little space in the cosmic dust whence I came," as he phrased it once himself. He had tampered with drugs and done many strange things in quest of new thrills, new sensations. As he told Martin, he had once gone three days without water, had done so voluntarily, in order to experience the exquisite delight of such a thirst assuaged. Who or what he was, Martin never learned. He was a man without a past, whose future was the imminent grave and whose present was a bitter fever of living.
紧接着玛利亚在第二天下午又因马丁的第二个客人而激动了。这一次她不再手忙脚乱,因为她把布里森登请到她那接待贵宾的豪华客厅里坐下了。

“我来拜访你不会介意吧?”布里森登说道。

“不,不,一点也不,”马丁一面和他握手一面回答,然后挥手请他在唯一的椅子上坐了下来。自己坐在了床上。“你是怎么知道我的地址的?”

“给莫尔斯家打了电话,莫尔斯小姐回了话,我就来了。”他从外衣口袋里扯出一本薄薄的书扔在桌上。“有一个诗人的集子。读一读吧,送给你了。”接着,他回答马丁的抗议道:“我拿书有什么用?今天早上我又吐了一次血。有威士忌么?没有,当然。等一等。”

他转身便走掉了。马丁望着他那瘦长的身影蜇下了外面的台阶,发现在他转身关门时那原本宽阔的肩膀已在塔拉的胸膛两边垂落,不禁感到心酸。马丁拿出了两个酒杯,开始读起那诗集,那是亨利·伏恩·马罗最新的集于。

“没有苏格兰威士忌,”布里森登回来说,“那叫花子除了美国威士忌什么也没有。只好买了一夸脱。”

“我打发一个小家伙去买点柠檬,我们做柠檬威士忌甜酒喝,”马丁建议。

“我不知道像这样一本书能给马罗带来什么?”马丁拿起诗集说下去。

“也许五十元吧,”回答是,“如果他能收支平衡,或是能骗到个出版家冒险给他出版,就算是万幸的了。”

“那么说,靠写诗吃饭是不行的了?”

马丁的口气和脸色都显得沮丧。

“当然不行,哪个傻瓜会那么想呢?凑凑韵能吃饭,比如布路斯、弗吉尼亚·斯普玲,还有塞季成克。要写诗么,你知道伏恩·马罗靠什么过日于?——靠远在宾夕法尼亚州一个填鸭式的男校教书。在所有私立的小地狱里这种地方是最糟糕的。哪怕他还能活五十年我也不愿意跟他交换地位。但是他的作品在同时代的凑韵诗人里可是有如胡萝卜堆里的红宝石。但是对他的评论呢!全他妈的扯谈,一批愚蠢的休儒写的!”

“是些不知道怎样评论作品的人写的,这种人太多了,”马丁表示赞成。“研究史蒂文森和他的作品的卑劣之作就太多,多得叫我害怕。”

“吃死人的僵尸,女身鸟爪怪!”布里森登咬牙切齿地叫道,“是的,我知道这帮妖精。因为他为达米安神甫写的那封信就得意扬扬地啄他的肉,撕扯他,折磨他——”

“以小人之心度君子之腹。”马丁插嘴说。

‘对,这话正好不过——满嘴真善美却糟蹋着真善美,最后还拍拍真善美它的肩膀说,‘好狗好狗,忠心耿耿。’滚吧!理查·瑞尔夫弥留那天晚上把他们叫做:喳喳叫的小乌鸦,叫对了。”

“在大师们流星一般迅速地飞翔时,”马丁热情地接下话头,“专跟星尘找茬的家伙。我写过一篇文章讽刺他们——那些找茬专家,亦称书评家。”

“让我看看。”布里森登兴致勃勃地提出要求。

于是马丁翻找出一份复写的《星尘》,布里森登一边读一边格格地笑,搓着手,忘掉了威士忌甜苏打。

“我的印象是:你就是一个坠落到凡间的星尘,被扔进一群戴了风帽的没有眼睛的作儒之间。”他看完稿子说,“当然,第一家杂志就会叼住它不放的。”

马丁翻了翻自己的稿件记录本。

“已经被二十七家杂志退了稿。”

布里森登开怀大笑,笑了许久,却痛苦地呛咳起来。

“喂,你用不着告诉我说你没有写过诗,”他喘着大气说,“拿几首来看看。”

“现在先别看,”马丁请求,“我还想和你谈谈。我把诗扎成一扎,你带回去看。”

布级森登带走了《爱情组诗》和《仙女与珍珠》,第二天地回来了,对马丁提出:——

“再给我一点。”

他肯定马丁是个诗人,也让马丁知道了他也是个诗人。马丁被他的作品弄得神魂颠倒,却大吃了一惊,原来他根本没有打算拿它们去发表。

“让那些出版社滚蛋吧!”马丁主动要求帮他投稿,他却回答。“为美而爱美吧,”他劝告说,“别去找杂志社了。回到你的船上去,海上去——这是我对你的忠告,马丁·伊登。你在把日于一天一天地浪费,想把美当婊子出卖,去满足杂志王国的要求。那只是在割自己的脖子而已。你那天对我引用过的话是谁说的?——哦,对了,‘人呀,最后的蜉蝣。’你这个‘最后的蜉蝣’拿名气来干什么?你要是出了名,反倒会中毒的。照我看你太年纯,太本色,太理智,靠这种东西是好不起来的。我倒希望你一行也没有法子卖给杂志。你要侍奉的唯一主人就是美。侍奉他吧,让苦芙众生下地狱去!成功!你的成功已经在你的《爱情组诗种为斯蒂文森写的那首十四行诗里了,已经在你那些海洋诗里了。那不是成功是什么?那比亨雷的《幽灵》还要好呢。

“你获得欢乐不在取得成功,而在写作本身。你不会告诉我,可我明白,你也知道美煎熬着你,使你永远痛苦,是个无法痊愈的伤口,是一把烈焰熊熊的利剑。你干吗去和杂志打交道?就把美当作你的目标好了,为什么要把它变作黄金?好在你做不到,我倒不必激动。读上一千年杂志,你发现的价值也比不上一行济慈的诗。丢开金钱和名誉吧,明天就签合同上船去,回到你的大海去。”

“不是为了名誉,而是为了爱情,”马丁哈哈大笑,“在你的宇宙里似乎没有爱情的地位;可在我的宇宙里,美不过是爱情的婢女。”

布里森登怜悯地也佩服地望望他。“你这么年轻,马丁孩子,这么年轻。你想高飞,可是你的翅膀是最精致的薄绍做的,画上了最美丽的颜色。可别让它们给烧焦了,当然,你已经把它们烧焦了。要解释那些爱情诗需要找一个打扮得光彩照人的小姐,丢脸的地方就在这儿。”

“让小见光彩照人,也让爱情光彩照人。”马丁哈哈大笑。

“疯狂的哲学,”对方驳斥道,“我在那些风魔的梦里也拿这话安慰过自己。可你要小心,这些资产阶级的城市是会杀死你的。你看看那个生意人的南吧,我是在那里遇见你的。说它腐朽是不够的,在它那气氛里人就清醒不了,它叫人堕落,没有一个人不堕落,男的,女的,全都是些行尸走肉,指引他们的是跟蚌亮一样的聪明和艺术冲动——”

他突然住了嘴,望了望马丁,然后灵机一动,明白过来。脸上的表情变作了惶惑的恐怖。

“你那惊人之作《爱情组诗》原来是为她写的,为那个苍白、干瘪的女人写的!”

转瞬之间马丁的右手已经伸出,紧紧攫住了布里森登的喉头,直摇得他的牙齿答答作响。可是马丁在他的服服却没有看见丝毫畏惧——除了一副惊奇与嘲弄的魔鬼表情之外什么也没有。马丁这才回过神来,揪住脖子一把把布里森登横摔在床上,才放了手。

布里森登痛苦地、大口大口地喘了一会地气,格格地笑了/

“你若是把我那点火焰摇灭了,我可要永远感谢你了。”他说。

“我这些日子烦得快要爆炸了,”马丁道歉说,“希望没有伤害了你。来,让我新调一杯甜威士忌苏打吧。”

“啊,好个棒小伙!”布里森登说了下去,“我不知道你是否以你那副身坯为骄傲。体壮得像个魔鬼,是只小豹子,小狮子。好了好了,你得为你那身力气付出代价的。”

“你是什么意思?”马丁好奇地问,递给他一杯饮料。“喝了吧,以后乖乖的。”

“因为——”布里森登啜着甜酒,很欣赏,微笑了。“因为女人。她们会缠住你,直到把你缠死。她们已经缠过你了,要不然我就算是昨天才出世的奶娃。你把我掐死也没有用;我有话还得说。毫无疑问这是你的童稚之恋;为了美的缘故,下一回回味可要高一点。你拿一个资产阶级小姐有什么用?别沾她们的边。找一个嘲笑生活。戏弄死亡、说爱就爱、火一样燃烧的了不起的女人去爱吧,这样的女人有的是,她们会爱你,不亚于任何一个资产阶级闺阁里培养出的娇小姐。”

“娇小姐?”马丁抗议。

“对,就是娇,娇娇滴滴地说些从别人那里听来的道德信条,害怕生活。她们会爱你,马丁,但是她们会更爱她们那些琐碎的道德信条。你需要的是痛快淋漓不受压抑的生活,是伟大的自由的灵魂,是绚烂的蝴蝶,而不是灰色的小飞蛾。哦,所有那些女人都会叫你厌烦的,如果你倒了霉,老是不死的话。不过你不肯生活,不肯回到你的海洋和船上去;因此就绕着城市里这些瘟疫的洞窟转,等到你腐败到骨头里的时候,你就会死去。”

“你可以训斥我,但是你无法让我跟你辩论,”马丁说,“归根到底你的见解来自你的性格,而我这来自我自己性格的见解也和你的一样无懈可击。”

两人在对待爱情、杂志和许多问题上的看法都有分歧,但是两人彼此却很喜欢,而马丁的喜欢又很深沉。他们俩天天见面,尽管有时只是布里森登在马丁那令人气闷的屋里呆上一小时。布里森登每一次未必要带一夸脱酒,两人在市中心吃饭时他从头到尾总喝威士忌苏打。他总是付两人的车费,马丁是通过他才明白了食物的美妙的。他喝到了第一杯香按,也见识了莱因葡萄酒。

但是布里森登永远是个谜。他一脸苦行僧相,体质也越来越弱,可他却是个毫不讳言的酒色之徒。他不畏惧死,对种种生活方式都辛辣尖刻,愤世嫉俗,但是他虽然快要死去,却仍然热爱生命,丝毫不放。一种要活下去、要快活地活下去的狂热攫住了他。他要“在我所从来的宇宙尘埃的空间里玩个够。”他有一次这么说。为了追求新的刺激和感受,他玩过毒品,做过许多古怪的事。他还告诉马丁他曾经三天不喝水。那是自愿的,为了要体验极端的口渴解除时的奇妙的欢乐。马丁从来不知道他是什么人,从哪儿来。他是个没有过去的人;他的未来是即将出现的坟墓;而他的现在就是生活里这苦涩的狂热。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 31楼  发表于: 2013-11-28 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  31


Martin had encountered his sister Gertrude by chance on Broadway - as it proved, a most propitious yet disconcerting chance. Waiting on the corner for a car, she had seen him first, and noted the eager, hungry lines of his face and the desperate, worried look of his eyes. In truth, he was desperate and worried. He had just come from a fruitless interview with the pawnbroker, from whom he had tried to wring an additional loan on his wheel. The muddy fall weather having come on, Martin had pledged his wheel some time since and retained his black suit.




"There's the black suit," the pawnbroker, who knew his every asset, had answered. "You needn't tell me you've gone and pledged it with that Jew, Lipka. Because if you have - "




The man had looked the threat, and Martin hastened to cry:-




"No, no; I've got it. But I want to wear it on a matter of business."




"All right," the mollified usurer had replied. "And I want it on a matter of business before I can let you have any more money. You don't think I'm in it for my health?"




"But it's a forty-dollar wheel, in good condition," Martin had argued. "And you've only let me have seven dollars on it. No, not even seven. Six and a quarter; you took the interest in advance."




"If you want some more, bring the suit," had been the reply that sent Martin out of the stuffy little den, so desperate at heart as to reflect it in his face and touch his sister to pity.




Scarcely had they met when the Telegraph Avenue car came along and stopped to take on a crowd of afternoon shoppers. Mrs. Higginbotham divined from the grip on her arm as he helped her on, that he was not going to follow her. She turned on the step and looked down upon him. His haggard face smote her to the heart again.




"Ain't you comin'?" she asked




The next moment she had descended to his side.




"I'm walking - exercise, you know," he explained.




"Then I'll go along for a few blocks," she announced. "Mebbe it'll do me good. I ain't ben feelin' any too spry these last few days."




Martin glanced at her and verified her statement in her general slovenly appearance, in the unhealthy fat, in the drooping shoulders, the tired face with the sagging lines, and in the heavy fall of her feet, without elasticity - a very caricature of the walk that belongs to a free and happy body.




"You'd better stop here," he said, though she had already come to a halt at the first corner, "and take the next car."




"My goodness! - if I ain't all tired a'ready!" she panted. "But I'm just as able to walk as you in them soles. They're that thin they'll bu'st long before you git out to North Oakland."




"I've a better pair at home," was the answer.




"Come out to dinner to-morrow," she invited irrelevantly. "Mr. Higginbotham won't be there. He's goin' to San Leandro on business."




Martin shook his head, but he had failed to keep back the wolfish, hungry look that leapt into his eyes at the suggestion of dinner.




"You haven't a penny, Mart, and that's why you're walkin'. Exercise!" She tried to sniff contemptuously, but succeeded in producing only a sniffle. "Here, lemme see."




And, fumbling in her satchel, she pressed a five-dollar piece into his hand. "I guess I forgot your last birthday, Mart," she mumbled lamely.




Martin's hand instinctively closed on the piece of gold. In the same instant he knew he ought not to accept, and found himself struggling in the throes of indecision. That bit of gold meant food, life, and light in his body and brain, power to go on writing, and - who was to say? - maybe to write something that would bring in many pieces of gold. Clear on his vision burned the manuscripts of two essays he had just completed. He saw them under the table on top of the heap of returned manuscripts for which he had no stamps, and he saw their titles, just as he had typed them - "The High Priests of Mystery," and "The Cradle of Beauty." He had never submitted them anywhere. They were as good as anything he had done in that line. If only he had stamps for them! Then the certitude of his ultimate success rose up in him, an able ally of hunger, and with a quick movement he slipped the coin into his pocket.




"I'll pay you back, Gertrude, a hundred times over," he gulped out, his throat painfully contracted and in his eyes a swift hint of moisture.




"Mark my words!" he cried with abrupt positiveness. "Before the year is out I'll put an even hundred of those little yellow-boys into your hand. I don't ask you to believe me. All you have to do is wait and see."




Nor did she believe. Her incredulity made her uncomfortable, and failing of other expedient, she said:-




"I know you're hungry, Mart. It's sticking out all over you. Come in to meals any time. I'll send one of the children to tell you when Mr. Higginbotham ain't to be there. An' Mart - "




He waited, though he knew in his secret heart what she was about to say, so visible was her thought process to him.




"Don't you think it's about time you got a job?"




"You don't think I'll win out?" he asked.




She shook her head.




"Nobody has faith in me, Gertrude, except myself." His voice was passionately rebellious. "I've done good work already, plenty of it, and sooner or later it will sell."




"How do you know it is good?"




"Because - " He faltered as the whole vast field of literature and the history of literature stirred in his brain and pointed the futility of his attempting to convey to her the reasons for his faith. "Well, because it's better than ninety-nine per cent of what is published in the magazines."




"I wish't you'd listen to reason," she answered feebly, but with unwavering belief in the correctness of her diagnosis of what was ailing him. "I wish't you'd listen to reason," she repeated, "an' come to dinner to-morrow."




After Martin had helped her on the car, he hurried to the post- office and invested three of the five dollars in stamps; and when, later in the day, on the way to the Morse home, he stopped in at the post-office to weigh a large number of long, bulky envelopes, he affixed to them all the stamps save three of the two-cent denomination.




It proved a momentous night for Martin, for after dinner he met Russ Brissenden. How he chanced to come there, whose friend he was or what acquaintance brought him, Martin did not know. Nor had he the curiosity to inquire about him of Ruth. In short, Brissenden struck Martin as anaemic and feather-brained, and was promptly dismissed from his mind. An hour later he decided that Brissenden was a boor as well, what of the way he prowled about from one room to another, staring at the pictures or poking his nose into books and magazines he picked up from the table or drew from the shelves. Though a stranger in the house he finally isolated himself in the midst of the company, huddling into a capacious Morris chair and reading steadily from a thin volume he had drawn from his pocket. As he read, he abstractedly ran his fingers, with a caressing movement, through his hair. Martin noticed him no more that evening, except once when he observed him chaffing with great apparent success with several of the young women.




It chanced that when Martin was leaving, he overtook Brissenden already half down the walk to the street.




"Hello, is that you?" Martin said.




The other replied with an ungracious grunt, but swung alongside. Martin made no further attempt at conversation, and for several blocks unbroken silence lay upon them.




"Pompous old ass!"




The suddenness and the virulence of the exclamation startled Martin. He felt amused, and at the same time was aware of a growing dislike for the other.




"What do you go to such a place for?" was abruptly flung at him after another block of silence.




"Why do you?" Martin countered.




"Bless me, I don't know," came back. "At least this is my first indiscretion. There are twenty-four hours in each day, and I must spend them somehow. Come and have a drink."




"All right," Martin answered.




The next moment he was nonplussed by the readiness of his acceptance. At home was several hours' hack-work waiting for him before he went to bed, and after he went to bed there was a volume of Weismann waiting for him, to say nothing of Herbert Spencer's Autobiography, which was as replete for him with romance as any thrilling novel. Why should he waste any time with this man he did not like? was his thought. And yet, it was not so much the man nor the drink as was it what was associated with the drink - the bright lights, the mirrors and dazzling array of glasses, the warm and glowing faces and the resonant hum of the voices of men. That was it, it was the voices of men, optimistic men, men who breathed success and spent their money for drinks like men. He was lonely, that was what was the matter with him; that was why he had snapped at the invitation as a bonita strikes at a white rag on a hook. Not since with Joe, at Shelly Hot Springs, with the one exception of the wine he took with the Portuguese grocer, had Martin had a drink at a public bar. Mental exhaustion did not produce a craving for liquor such as physical exhaustion did, and he had felt no need for it. But just now he felt desire for the drink, or, rather, for the atmosphere wherein drinks were dispensed and disposed of. Such a place was the Grotto, where Brissenden and he lounged in capacious leather chairs and drank Scotch and soda.




They talked. They talked about many things, and now Brissenden and now Martin took turn in ordering Scotch and soda. Martin, who was extremely strong-headed, marvelled at the other's capacity for liquor, and ever and anon broke off to marvel at the other's conversation. He was not long in assuming that Brissenden knew everything, and in deciding that here was the second intellectual man he had met. But he noted that Brissenden had what Professor Caldwell lacked - namely, fire, the flashing insight and perception, the flaming uncontrol of genius. Living language flowed from him. His thin lips, like the dies of a machine, stamped out phrases that cut and stung; or again, pursing caressingly about the inchoate sound they articulated, the thin lips shaped soft and velvety things, mellow phrases of glow and glory, of haunting beauty, reverberant of the mystery and inscrutableness of life; and yet again the thin lips were like a bugle, from which rang the crash and tumult of cosmic strife, phrases that sounded clear as silver, that were luminous as starry spaces, that epitomized the final word of science and yet said something more - the poet's word, the transcendental truth, elusive and without words which could express, and which none the less found expression in the subtle and all but ungraspable connotations of common words. He, by some wonder of vision, saw beyond the farthest outpost of empiricism, where was no language for narration, and yet, by some golden miracle of speech, investing known words with unknown significances, he conveyed to Martin's consciousness messages that were incommunicable to ordinary souls.




Martin forgot his first impression of dislike. Here was the best the books had to offer coming true. Here was an intelligence, a living man for him to look up to. "I am down in the dirt at your feet," Martin repeated to himself again and again.




"You've studied biology," he said aloud, in significant allusion.




To his surprise Brissenden shook his head.




"But you are stating truths that are substantiated only by biology," Martin insisted, and was rewarded by a blank stare. "Your conclusions are in line with the books which you must have read."




"I am glad to hear it," was the answer. "That my smattering of knowledge should enable me to short-cut my way to truth is most reassuring. As for myself, I never bother to find out if I am right or not. It is all valueless anyway. Man can never know the ultimate verities."




"You are a disciple of Spencer!" Martin cried triumphantly.




"I haven't read him since adolescence, and all I read then was his 'Education.'"




"I wish I could gather knowledge as carelessly," Martin broke out half an hour later. He had been closely analyzing Brissenden's mental equipment. "You are a sheer dogmatist, and that's what makes it so marvellous. You state dogmatically the latest facts which science has been able to establish only by E POSTERIORI reasoning. You jump at correct conclusions. You certainly short- cut with a vengeance. You feel your way with the speed of light, by some hyperrational process, to truth."




"Yes, that was what used to bother Father Joseph, and Brother Dutton," Brissenden replied. "Oh, no," he added; "I am not anything. It was a lucky trick of fate that sent me to a Catholic college for my education. Where did you pick up what you know?"




And while Martin told him, he was busy studying Brissenden, ranging from a long, lean, aristocratic face and drooping shoulders to the overcoat on a neighboring chair, its pockets sagged and bulged by the freightage of many books. Brissenden's face and long, slender hands were browned by the sun - excessively browned, Martin thought. This sunburn bothered Martin. It was patent that Brissenden was no outdoor man. Then how had he been ravaged by the sun? Something morbid and significant attached to that sunburn, was Martin's thought as he returned to a study of the face, narrow, with high cheek-bones and cavernous hollows, and graced with as delicate and fine an aquiline nose as Martin had ever seen. There was nothing remarkable about the size of the eyes. They were neither large nor small, while their color was a nondescript brown; but in them smouldered a fire, or, rather, lurked an expression dual and strangely contradictory. Defiant, indomitable, even harsh to excess, they at the same time aroused pity. Martin found himself pitying him he knew not why, though he was soon to learn.




"Oh, I'm a lunger," Brissenden announced, offhand, a little later, having already stated that he came from Arizona. "I've been down there a couple of years living on the climate."




"Aren't you afraid to venture it up in this climate?"




"Afraid?"




There was no special emphasis of his repetition of Martin's word. But Martin saw in that ascetic face the advertisement that there was nothing of which it was afraid. The eyes had narrowed till they were eagle-like, and Martin almost caught his breath as he noted the eagle beak with its dilated nostrils, defiant, assertive, aggressive. Magnificent, was what he commented to himself, his blood thrilling at the sight. Aloud, he quoted:-




"'Under the bludgeoning of Chance My head is bloody but unbowed.'"




"You like Henley," Brissenden said, his expression changing swiftly to large graciousness and tenderness. "Of course, I couldn't have expected anything else of you. Ah, Henley! A brave soul. He stands out among contemporary rhymesters - magazine rhymesters - as a gladiator stands out in the midst of a band of eunuchs."




"You don't like the magazines," Martin softly impeached.




"Do you?" was snarled back at him so savagely as to startle him.




"I - I write, or, rather, try to write, for the magazines," Martin faltered.




"That's better," was the mollified rejoinder. "You try to write, but you don't succeed. I respect and admire your failure. I know what you write. I can see it with half an eye, and there's one ingredient in it that shuts it out of the magazines. It's guts, and magazines have no use for that particular commodity. What they want is wish-wash and slush, and God knows they get it, but not from you."




"I'm not above hack-work," Martin contended.




"On the contrary - " Brissenden paused and ran an insolent eye over Martin's objective poverty, passing from the well-worn tie and the saw-edged collar to the shiny sleeves of the coat and on to the slight fray of one cuff, winding up and dwelling upon Martin's sunken cheeks. "On the contrary, hack-work is above you, so far above you that you can never hope to rise to it. Why, man, I could insult you by asking you to have something to eat."




Martin felt the heat in his face of the involuntary blood, and Brissenden laughed triumphantly.




"A full man is not insulted by such an invitation," he concluded.




"You are a devil," Martin cried irritably.




"Anyway, I didn't ask you."




"You didn't dare."




"Oh, I don't know about that. I invite you now."




Brissenden half rose from his chair as he spoke, as if with the intention of departing to the restaurant forthwith.




Martin's fists were tight-clenched, and his blood was drumming in his temples.




"Bosco! He eats 'em alive! Eats 'em alive!" Brissenden exclaimed, imitating the SPIELER of a locally famous snake-eater.




"I could certainly eat you alive," Martin said, in turn running insolent eyes over the other's disease-ravaged frame.




"Only I'm not worthy of it?"




"On the contrary," Martin considered, "because the incident is not worthy." He broke into a laugh, hearty and wholesome. "I confess you made a fool of me, Brissenden. That I am hungry and you are aware of it are only ordinary phenomena, and there's no disgrace. You see, I laugh at the conventional little moralities of the herd; then you drift by, say a sharp, true word, and immediately I am the slave of the same little moralities."




"You were insulted," Brissenden affirmed.




"I certainly was, a moment ago. The prejudice of early youth, you know. I learned such things then, and they cheapen what I have since learned. They are the skeletons in my particular closet."




"But you've got the door shut on them now?"




"I certainly have."




"Sure?"




"Sure."




"Then let's go and get something to eat."




"I'll go you," Martin answered, attempting to pay for the current Scotch and soda with the last change from his two dollars and seeing the waiter bullied by Brissenden into putting that change back on the table.




Martin pocketed it with a grimace, and felt for a moment the kindly weight of Brissenden's hand upon his shoulder.
马丁在大马路碰巧遇见了他的姐姐格特露——后来证明是个非常幸运而又尴尬的巧遇。她是在一个转弯处等车,首先看见了他,并注意到了他脸上那急切的饥饿的皱纹和眼里那绝望的焦急的神色。实际上他的确已是山穷水尽,着急万分。他刚刚和一个当铺的老板谈判下来。他想从他当掉的自行车再挤出几个钱来,却没有成功。泥泞的秋天已经到了,马丁早当掉了自行车,保留了黑色礼服。

“你还有一套黑衣服,”当铺的办事员了解他的家底,回答说,“你别告诉我说你已经当给了犹太人李扑卡。因为你要是去了——”

那人眼里露出威胁,马丁急忙叫道:——

“没有,没有,我没有当。但是要留着办事时穿。”

“行了,”放高利贷的人的口气软了,说,“我要衣服也是办事,拿衣服就给你钱。你以为我借钱给人是为了祝自己健康么?”

“可那是一部状况良好的自行车,值四十元呢,”马丁争辩过,“你才当给了我七块钱,不,还不到七块钱。六块二毛五,预扣了利息。”

“还要钱就拿衣服来,”打发马丁离开那气闷的洞窟的就是这句回答。他心里的严重绝望反映到了他脸上,姐姐见了不禁难受。

姐弟俩刚见面,电报路的班车就到了,停车上了一批下午的客人。希金波坦太太从他扶着她的胳膊帮她上车的握法感到马丁不打算跟她一起走。她在踏板上转过身来看着他,心里又为他那谁忙的样子难过了。

“你不来么?”她问。

她随即下了车,来到了他的身边。

“我走路,锻炼身体,你知道。”他解释。

“那我也走几段路,”她宣布,“也许对我有好处。我这几天正觉得不清爽呢。”

马丁瞥了她一眼,她那样子证实了她的说法。她衣着邋遢,体态臃肿,两肩搭拉着,脸上的皱纹下垂,显得疲倦;步伐也沉重,缺少弹性——活脱脱是幅对自由快活的步伐的讽刺画。

“你最好就走到这儿,”他说,虽然她到第一个街口就已停了步,“在这儿塔下一班车。”

“天呀!——我怎么就累成这个样!”她喘着气说,“如果我的鞋是你那样的底,我走路也能像你的。可你那鞋底太薄,离北奥克兰很远就会破的。”

“我家里还有一双更好的。”他回答。

“明天出来吃晚饭吧,”她转变话题邀请,“希金波坦先生不在家。他要到圣利安德罗会办事。”

马丁摇摇头,但是他听见吃饭时眼里所流露出的饿狼般的馋相,却无法掩饰。

“你已经腰无半文,马,所以才走路的,还说什么锻炼呢!”她打算嘲笑他,却忍住了,只苦笑了一声。“来,我来看看。”

她在提包里摸了一会,把一个五块钱的金币塞到他手里。“我好像忘了你上次的生日了,马。”她嘟哝出了一个站不住脚的理由。

马丁的手本能地捏住了金币,同时也明白他不该接受,于是犹豫不决,陷入了痛苦。那一块金币意味着食物、生活。身体与头脑的光明,和继续写作的力气,而且说不定能写出点东西来再赚好多个金币呢,谁说得清?他在幻觉里清清楚楚燃烧着他刚完成的两篇文章;他看见它们放在桌下一堆退还的稿件顶上。那是他没有邮票寄出的。他还看见了它们的题目:《奇迹的大祭师》和《美的摇篮》。是还没有寄出去过的。那是他在那个问题上所写出的最佳之作。要是有邮票就好了!此时最后成功的把握在他心里升起,那是饥饿的有力的同盟军。他立即把那块金币塞进了口袋。

“我会还你的,格特露,一百倍地还你,”他大口地喘着气,说。他的喉咙痛苦地抽搐,眼睛也迅速闪出泪光。

“记住我的话!”他突然坚决叫道,“不到一年工夫我一定要拿整整一百个这种小玩意放到你手里。我不求你相信,只要你等着瞧。”

她并不相信。她的怀疑叫她感到内疚。她找不到方便的话讲,只好说道:——

“我知道你肚子饿,马。你满脸饿相,来吃饭吧,什么时候来都可以。希金波坦先生不在我就叫个孩子去叫你。还有,马——”

他等着,虽然他心里秘密知道她会说什么,她的思想过程他看得清清楚楚。

“你不觉得是应该找个工作的时候了么?”

“你相信我会成功么?”他问。

她摇摇头。

“谁都对我没有信心,格特露,除了我自己之外。”他的口气很激动,很反抗,“我已经写出了很好的东西。而且很多,早晚会卖出去的。”

“你咋知道你的东西就好?”

“因为——”他犹豫了。整个广袤无边的文学和文学史天地在他的头脑里悸动,它告诉他不可能跟她说清他为什么会有信心。“因为在杂志上发表的东西百分之九十九都不如它们。”

“我希望你能听得进道理,”她说话声音虽小,信念却不动摇。她相信自己对他那病的诊断。“有道理的话我希望你听得进,”她又说了一遍,“明儿个来吃晚饭!”

马丁帮助她上了车,便匆匆忙忙赶到邮局,那五块钱他用三块买了邮票;然后,在那天晚些时候去莫尔斯家的路上在邮局呆了很久,把一大堆厚重的长信封称了重量,贴上了全部的邮票,只剩下了三张两分的。

那天晚上对马丁很为重要,因为他晚饭后遇见了罗司·布里森登。布里森登是怎么偶然到那儿去的,是谁的朋友,是什么熟人带去的,他全不知道,也没有兴趣去向露丝打听。简单地说,布里森登给马丁的印象是贫血,没有头脑,而且马上就把他忘掉了。一个小时以后他又觉得布里森登是个粗野汉子。那多少是因为他一间房一间房地乱逛,瞪大了眼睛看着画,或是从桌上、书架上乱抓书籍杂志,然后把鼻子伸进去。尽管他在这屋里是个生人,最后却缩到一张巨大的莫里斯安乐椅上,让自己脱离人群一心一意读起一本他从自己口袋里抽出的小册子。他读得出神,手指头在头发里揉来操去。那个晚上马丁没有再留心他。只有一回注意到他踉几个年轻妇女开着玩笑,显然非常成功。

马丁离开时却偶然赶上了布里森登,他已经走了通向大街的便道的一半。

“啊,是你呀?”马丁说。

对方不客气地哼了一声,算是回答,却转身过来和他一起走。马丁没有再努力搭腔,两人一声不响走完了几段路。

“神气十足的老笨蛋!”

那一声叫喊又突然又刻薄,把马丁吓了一大跳。他忍俊不禁,更加不喜欢那人了。

“你到这地方去干什么?”又走了一段路,那人突然向他抛出了这么一句话。

“你呢?”马丁反击。

“上帝保佑,我不知道,”回答是,“至少这是我第一次粗心大意。每天有二十四小时,总得很过去的。跟我来喝点什么吧。”

“好的,”马丁回答。

他随即感到为难了,怎么会答应得那么痛快。家里还有几小时的下锅之作等着他在睡觉前完成,躺上床还要读一卷惠斯曼,更不要说斯宾塞自传了。他觉得那自传充满浪漫情节,不亚于任何惊险小说。他干吗要和一个他并不喜欢的火舌浪费时间呢?他想。但叫他同意的并不是那人、饮料。或与饮料有关的一切,而是那明亮的灯光、镜子、一排排耀眼的玻璃杯,还有温暖快活的面孔和热烈的喧闹。是的,是人的声音,乐观的人,呼吸着成功的人,像男人一样花钱买饮料的人。他感到寂寞,他看中的是这一切。因此,他一听见邀请就同意了,像条连钩上的白布条也想咬的红鱼。自从在雪莉温泉和乔对饮之后马丁除了跟杂货店的葡萄牙老板喝过之外就再也没有在酒店喝过酒。脑力劳动不像体力劳动,疲倦了并不渴望喝酒。他不曾想过喝酒。可刚才他却想喝酒了,确切地说,是渴望着那传林连盏、豪饮浅酌的气氛。“洞窟酒吧”就是这样一个地方,布里森登和他此刻就躺在“洞窟”的大皮椅上喝着威士忌苏打。

两人闲谈着,谈了许多问题。两人轮换着叫酒,一会儿是布里森登,一会儿是马丁。马丁酒量大,对方的酒量却也叫他绝倒。而对方的谈吐更不时地叫他吃惊,停杯谛听。没有多久马丁就发现市里森登无所不知,是他所遇见的第二个有思想的人。他还意识到布里森登有着考德威尔教授所缺少的东西——火焰,炽亮闪光的洞见力,蓬勃燃烧的无法抑制的天才。鲜活的语言从他口里伯伯奔流,他那薄薄的嘴唇像机器上的冲模,冲出的话又犀利又惊人。有时他又温柔地咂起嘴来,抚弄着日里刚清晰吐出的声音。她那薄薄的嘴唇发送出温柔的、天鹅绒般的声音,美在那微光融融、强光煜煜的词句之上萦绕徘徊,那是震响着生命的神秘和奥妙的成熟的词句。他那薄薄的嘴唇却又像支号角,宇宙的撞击与骚乱在其间震响,词句像银子一样清脆,星空一样灿烂,概括了科学的终极理论却又有余不尽——那是诗人的语言,超脱的真理,捉摸不定,难以言传,却仍然为他的微妙的几乎难以理解的平常词句所委婉表达了出来。他以某种想像力的奇迹看到了经验主义最辽远的前沿以外,那是没有语言可以表达的,可是他靠了他辉煌的语言奇迹,赋予了熟知的词语以崭新的意义,从而把一般的灵魂难以领悟的意义送进了马丁的意识。

马丁忘却了他最初的讨厌印象。书本知识的精华在这地变作了现实。这儿就是个智慧的精灵,一个值得他崇拜的凡人。“我在你脚下的泥污之中。”马丁心里一再这样说。

“你研究过生物学,”马丁别有所指地大声说。

出乎他意料之外,布里森登摇了摇头。

“可你讲的真理却是只有生物学才能充分证明的,”马丁坚持,对方却茫然地瞪了他一眼。“你的结论总得和你读过的书一致吧。”

“我很高兴听见这话,”回答是,“我这一点知识能让我找到了通向真理的捷径,真叫人安慰。至于我自己,我从来不在乎我自己对还是不对。因为对不对都全无价值。人类是永远不会知道终极真理的。”

“你是个斯宾塞的信徒!”马丁得意地叫道。

“我从少年以后就再也没有读过斯宾塞了,当初我也只读过他的《教育论》。”

“我希望也能像你一样漫不经心地吸取知识,”马丁半小时以后插嘴道。他一直在仔细分析着布里森登的知识结构。“你是个完全武断的人,因此非常神奇。你武断地提出的东西是科学靠演绎推理新近才确认的道理。你是跳进正确的结论的。你肯定是拼命找寻着捷径,靠某种超理智的程序,以光的速度摸索着真理的。”

“是的,约瑟夫神甫和达顿修土也准是为此烦恼过的,”布里森登回答,“啊不,”他接下去,“我算不上什么。只是命运的幸运的拨弄送我上了一个天主教神学院去接受了教育。你的知识是从什么地方来的?”

马丁回答时也打量着布里森登,从他那贵族味的瘦长的脸、下垂的双肩直到放在旁边椅子上的大衣、大衣口袋里鼓鼓囊囊塞满了的书。布里森登的脸和细长的双手都叫太阳晒黑了——太黑了,马丁想,黑得叫马丁纳闷。布里森登显然不是在户外干活的人。那他为什么叫太阳晒得那么厉害?那晒黑的皮肤上有某种病态的东西,令人纳闷,马丁回头再研究他的面部时想。那脸瘦瘦的,颧骨隆起,面颊凹陷,配上一个马丁从没有见过的那类精致漂亮的鹰钩鼻,眼睛的大小毫不奇特。不大,也不小,一种难以描述的棕红色,其中燃烧着一种火焰,更准确地说是隐藏了一种双重的表情,矛盾得出奇。挑战的,不屈的,甚至极其粗野的,却又引人怜悯的表情。不知为什么,马丁已经怜悯起他来,不过他马上就明白了。

“哦,我有肺病,”惊里森登先说他从亚利桑纳州来,接着便顺带宣布说,“我到那儿过了两年,靠那儿的气候养病。”

“你到这种气候里来不怕冒险么?”

“怕?”

他重复马丁这话并不特别着重,但马丁看出那张苦行僧式的脸上标明了并无畏惧。说那话时他眼睛咪细得像鹰隼一样,鹰钩鼻子鼻翼张开,带着蔑视、自信。咄咄逼人的神态,马丁一见,几乎连大气也不敢出。气派,马丁在心里评价;一见他那样子自己的血液也沸腾了。他大声引用了两句诗;——“‘尽管遭到无常的棍棒的打击,我的头并未低下,虽然鲜血淋漓。’”

“你喜欢读亨雷;”布里森登说,他的表情立刻变得宽厚慈祥,和蔼可亲了。“当然,我对你不会期望别的。啊,亨雷!勇敢的英雄!他在同时代凑韵的人——在杂志上凑韵的人当中崭露头角,有如站在一群阉人中的格斗士。”

“你不喜欢杂志介马丁温和地责难他。

“你喜欢么?”回答气势汹汹而且武断,吓了他一跳。

“我——我写东西,或者说试着给杂志写点东西。”马丁犹豫着回答。

“那还好,”口气缓和了些,“你试着写过,但是没有成功。我尊重也佩服你的失败。我知道你写的东西。我半睁一只眼也能看见。它们被关在杂志大门之外了,其中有一个因素,就是内容。你那种特别的商品杂志是无法派用场的。它们要的是没盐没味、无病呻吟的东西,无知道,那些东西它们能弄到,可不是从你那儿。”

“我写的也不过是下锅之作。”马丁辩解说。

“相反,”布里森登住了嘴,不客气地打量了一眼马丁那明显的贫穷。从旧领带到锯齿状的衣领,到磨光了的外衣肘部,再到有一处已经绽线的袖日,到未了又细细打量了一下马丁那凹陷的双颊。“相反,下锅之作你是写不出来的。它大高,你永远望尘莫及。你看,老兄,我只须说请你吃饭,你准会生气!”

马丁脸上发起烧来,只觉得血往上涌。布里森登胜利地哈哈大笑。

“肚子吃饱了的人是不会因为这种邀请生气的。”那是他的结论。

“你是个魔鬼!”马丁气冲冲地叫了起来。

“我毕竟没有请你吃饭。”

“你怕是不敢。”

“啊,这我倒还不知道。我现在就请你好了。”

布里森登说话时半欠起了身子,好像打算马上去餐厅。

马丁捏紧了拳头,太阳穴里血液腾腾地乱跳。

“哇噻!活嚼了!活嚼了!”布里森登学着当地一个有名的吹捧吃蛇表演的牛皮匠大叫起来。

“我可真能把你活嚼了!”马丁说,回报的眼光也不客气,他打量着对手那病怄诉的身子。

“只不过是因为我不够资格么?”

“相反,”马丁思考着,“是因为这东西还不够资格叫你给吃掉。”他哈哈大笑,很痛快,很真诚。“我承认上了你一当,布里森登。我饿了,叫你感觉到了,这也是平常现象,说不上侮辱。你看,我嘲笑着人群里的这些琐碎的道德信条,可是你一来,说了一句尖刻的真话,我立即成了那些小气琐碎的道德信条的奴隶。”

“你觉得是受了侮辱。”布里森登肯定。

“确实如此,不过已经过去。那是早年的偏见,你知道。我是在那时学到这类东西的,它们使我以后学到的东西贬值,是我的一种思想包袱。”

“那包袱你现在卸掉了没有?”

“肯定卸掉了。”

“真的?”

“真的。”

“那咱俩就去吃点东西。”

“我请客,”马丁回答,他打算用那找补下的两块钱付眼前的威士忌苏打帐,却眼看着布里森登气势汹汹地逼着传者把那钱放回到桌上。

马丁苦笑了一下,把钱收回了腰包,感到布里森登的手亲切地按在他的肩头上。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 30楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  


On a beautiful fall day, a day of similar Indian summer to that which had seen their love declared the year before, Martin read his "Love-cycle" to Ruth. It was in the afternoon, and, as before, they had ridden out to their favorite knoll in the hills. Now and again she had interrupted his reading with exclamations of pleasure, and now, as he laid the last sheet of manuscript with its fellows, he waited her judgment.




She delayed to speak, and at last she spoke haltingly, hesitating to frame in words the harshness of her thought.




"I think they are beautiful, very beautiful," she said; "but you can't sell them, can you? You see what I mean," she said, almost pleaded. "This writing of yours is not practical. Something is the matter - maybe it is with the market - that prevents you from earning a living by it. And please, dear, don't misunderstand me. I am flattered, and made proud, and all that - I could not be a true woman were it otherwise - that you should write these poems to me. But they do not make our marriage possible. Don't you see, Martin? Don't think me mercenary. It is love, the thought of our future, with which I am burdened. A whole year has gone by since we learned we loved each other, and our wedding day is no nearer. Don't think me immodest in thus talking about our wedding, for really I have my heart, all that I am, at stake. Why don't you try to get work on a newspaper, if you are so bound up in your writing? Why not become a reporter? - for a while, at least?"




"It would spoil my style," was his answer, in a low, monotonous voice. "You have no idea how I've worked for style."




"But those storiettes," she argued. "You called them hack-work. You wrote many of them. Didn't they spoil your style?"




"No, the cases are different. The storiettes were ground out, jaded, at the end of a long day of application to style. But a reporter's work is all hack from morning till night, is the one paramount thing of life. And it is a whirlwind life, the life of the moment, with neither past nor future, and certainly without thought of any style but reportorial style, and that certainly is not literature. To become a reporter now, just as my style is taking form, crystallizing, would be to commit literary suicide. As it is, every storiette, every word of every storiette, was a violation of myself, of my self-respect, of my respect for beauty. I tell you it was sickening. I was guilty of sin. And I was secretly glad when the markets failed, even if my clothes did go into pawn. But the joy of writing the 'Love-cycle'! The creative joy in its noblest form! That was compensation for everything."




Martin did not know that Ruth was unsympathetic concerning the creative joy. She used the phrase - it was on her lips he had first heard it. She had read about it, studied about it, in the university in the course of earning her Bachelorship of Arts; but she was not original, not creative, and all manifestations of culture on her part were but harpings of the harpings of others.




"May not the editor have been right in his revision of your 'Sea Lyrics'?" she questioned. "Remember, an editor must have proved qualifications or else he would not be an editor."




"That's in line with the persistence of the established," he rejoined, his heat against the editor-folk getting the better of him. "What is, is not only right, but is the best possible. The existence of anything is sufficient vindication of its fitness to exist - to exist, mark you, as the average person unconsciously believes, not merely in present conditions, but in all conditions. It is their ignorance, of course, that makes them believe such rot - their ignorance, which is nothing more nor less than the henidical mental process described by Weininger. They think they think, and such thinkless creatures are the arbiters of the lives of the few who really think."




He paused, overcome by the consciousness that he had been talking over Ruth's head.




"I'm sure I don't know who this Weininger is," she retorted. "And you are so dreadfully general that I fail to follow you. What I was speaking of was the qualification of editors - "




"And I'll tell you," he interrupted. "The chief qualification of ninety-nine per cent of all editors is failure. They have failed as writers. Don't think they prefer the drudgery of the desk and the slavery to their circulation and to the business manager to the joy of writing. They have tried to write, and they have failed. And right there is the cursed paradox of it. Every portal to success in literature is guarded by those watch-dogs, the failures in literature. The editors, sub-editors, associate editors, most of them, and the manuscript-readers for the magazines and book- publishers, most of them, nearly all of them, are men who wanted to write and who have failed. And yet they, of all creatures under the sun the most unfit, are the very creatures who decide what shall and what shall not find its way into print - they, who have proved themselves not original, who have demonstrated that they lack the divine fire, sit in judgment upon originality and genius. And after them come the reviewers, just so many more failures. Don't tell me that they have not dreamed the dream and attempted to write poetry or fiction; for they have, and they have failed. Why, the average review is more nauseating than cod-liver oil. But you know my opinion on the reviewers and the alleged critics. There are great critics, but they are as rare as comets. If I fail as a writer, I shall have proved for the career of editorship. There's bread and butter and jam, at any rate."




Ruth's mind was quick, and her disapproval of her lover's views was buttressed by the contradiction she found in his contention.




"But, Martin, if that be so, if all the doors are closed as you have shown so conclusively, how is it possible that any of the great writers ever arrived?"




"They arrived by achieving the impossible," he answered. "They did such blazing, glorious work as to burn to ashes those that opposed them. They arrived by course of miracle, by winning a thousand-to- one wager against them. They arrived because they were Carlyle's battle-scarred giants who will not be kept down. And that is what I must do; I must achieve the impossible."




"But if you fail? You must consider me as well, Martin."




"If I fail?" He regarded her for a moment as though the thought she had uttered was unthinkable. Then intelligence illumined his eyes. "If I fail, I shall become an editor, and you will be an editor's wife."




She frowned at his facetiousness - a pretty, adorable frown that made him put his arm around her and kiss it away.




"There, that's enough," she urged, by an effort of will withdrawing herself from the fascination of his strength. "I have talked with father and mother. I never before asserted myself so against them. I demanded to be heard. I was very undutiful. They are against you, you know; but I assured them over and over of my abiding love for you, and at last father agreed that if you wanted to, you could begin right away in his office. And then, of his own accord, he said he would pay you enough at the start so that we could get married and have a little cottage somewhere. Which I think was very fine of him - don't you?"




Martin, with the dull pain of despair at his heart, mechanically reaching for the tobacco and paper (which he no longer carried) to roll a cigarette, muttered something inarticulate, and Ruth went on.




"Frankly, though, and don't let it hurt you - I tell you, to show you precisely how you stand with him - he doesn't like your radical views, and he thinks you are lazy. Of course I know you are not. I know you work hard."




How hard, even she did not know, was the thought in Martin's mind.




"Well, then," he said, "how about my views? Do you think they are so radical?"




He held her eyes and waited the answer.




"I think them, well, very disconcerting," she replied.




The question was answered for him, and so oppressed was he by the grayness of life that he forgot the tentative proposition she had made for him to go to work. And she, having gone as far as she dared, was willing to wait the answer till she should bring the question up again.




She had not long to wait. Martin had a question of his own to propound to her. He wanted to ascertain the measure of her faith in him, and within the week each was answered. Martin precipitated it by reading to her his "The Shame of the Sun."




"Why don't you become a reporter?" she asked when he had finished. "You love writing so, and I am sure you would succeed. You could rise in journalism and make a name for yourself. There are a number of great special correspondents. Their salaries are large, and their field is the world. They are sent everywhere, to the heart of Africa, like Stanley, or to interview the Pope, or to explore unknown Thibet."




"Then you don't like my essay?" he rejoined. "You believe that I have some show in journalism but none in literature?"




"No, no; I do like it. It reads well. But I am afraid it's over the heads of your readers. At least it is over mine. It sounds beautiful, but I don't understand it. Your scientific slang is beyond me. You are an extremist, you know, dear, and what may be intelligible to you may not be intelligible to the rest of us."




"I imagine it's the philosophic slang that bothers you," was all he could say.




He was flaming from the fresh reading of the ripest thought he had expressed, and her verdict stunned him.




"No matter how poorly it is done," he persisted, "don't you see anything in it? - in the thought of it, I mean?"




She shook her head.




"No, it is so different from anything I have read. I read Maeterlinck and understand him - "




"His mysticism, you understand that?" Martin flashed out.




"Yes, but this of yours, which is supposed to be an attack upon him, I don't understand. Of course, if originality counts - "




He stopped her with an impatient gesture that was not followed by speech. He became suddenly aware that she was speaking and that she had been speaking for some time.




"After all, your writing has been a toy to you," she was saying. "Surely you have played with it long enough. It is time to take up life seriously - OUR life, Martin. Hitherto you have lived solely your own."




"You want me to go to work?" he asked.




"Yes. Father has offered - "




"I understand all that," he broke in; "but what I want to know is whether or not you have lost faith in me?"




She pressed his hand mutely, her eyes dim.




"In your writing, dear," she admitted in a half-whisper.




"You've read lots of my stuff," he went on brutally. "What do you think of it? Is it utterly hopeless? How does it compare with other men's work?"




"But they sell theirs, and you - don't."




"That doesn't answer my question. Do you think that literature is not at all my vocation?"




"Then I will answer." She steeled herself to do it. "I don't think you were made to write. Forgive me, dear. You compel me to say it; and you know I know more about literature than you do."




"Yes, you are a Bachelor of Arts," he said meditatively; "and you ought to know."




"But there is more to be said," he continued, after a pause painful to both. "I know what I have in me. No one knows that so well as I. I know I shall succeed. I will not be kept down. I am afire with what I have to say in verse, and fiction, and essay. I do not ask you to have faith in that, though. I do not ask you to have faith in me, nor in my writing. What I do ask of you is to love me and have faith in love."




"A year ago I believed for two years. One of those years is yet to run. And I do believe, upon my honor and my soul, that before that year is run I shall have succeeded. You remember what you told me long ago, that I must serve my apprenticeship to writing. Well, I have served it. I have crammed it and telescoped it. With you at the end awaiting me, I have never shirked. Do you know, I have forgotten what it is to fall peacefully asleep. A few million years ago I knew what it was to sleep my fill and to awake naturally from very glut of sleep. I am awakened always now by an alarm clock. If I fall asleep early or late, I set the alarm accordingly; and this, and the putting out of the lamp, are my last conscious actions."




"When I begin to feel drowsy, I change the heavy book I am reading for a lighter one. And when I doze over that, I beat my head with my knuckles in order to drive sleep away. Somewhere I read of a man who was afraid to sleep. Kipling wrote the story. This man arranged a spur so that when unconsciousness came, his naked body pressed against the iron teeth. Well, I've done the same. I look at the time, and I resolve that not until midnight, or not until one o'clock, or two o'clock, or three o'clock, shall the spur be removed. And so it rowels me awake until the appointed time. That spur has been my bed-mate for months. I have grown so desperate that five and a half hours of sleep is an extravagance. I sleep four hours now. I am starved for sleep. There are times when I am light-headed from want of sleep, times when death, with its rest and sleep, is a positive lure to me, times when I am haunted by Longfellow's lines:




"'The sea is still and deep; All things within its bosom sleep; A single step and all is o'er, A plunge, a bubble, and no more.'




"Of course, this is sheer nonsense. It comes from nervousness, from an overwrought mind. But the point is: Why have I done this? For you. To shorten my apprenticeship. To compel Success to hasten. And my apprenticeship is now served. I know my equipment. I swear that I learn more each month than the average college man learns in a year. I know it, I tell you. But were my need for you to understand not so desperate I should not tell you. It is not boasting. I measure the results by the books. Your brothers, to- day, are ignorant barbarians compared with me and the knowledge I have wrung from the books in the hours they were sleeping. Long ago I wanted to be famous. I care very little for fame now. What I want is you; I am more hungry for you than for food, or clothing, or recognition. I have a dream of laying my head on your breast and sleeping an aeon or so, and the dream will come true ere another year is gone."




His power beat against her, wave upon wave; and in the moment his will opposed hers most she felt herself most strongly drawn toward him. The strength that had always poured out from him to her was now flowering in his impassioned voice, his flashing eyes, and the vigor of life and intellect surging in him. And in that moment, and for the moment, she was aware of a rift that showed in her certitude - a rift through which she caught sight of the real Martin Eden, splendid and invincible; and as animal-trainers have their moments of doubt, so she, for the instant, seemed to doubt her power to tame this wild spirit of a man.




"And another thing," he swept on. "You love me. But why do you love me? The thing in me that compels me to write is the very thing that draws your love. You love me because I am somehow different from the men you have known and might have loved. I was not made for the desk and counting-house, for petty business squabbling, and legal jangling. Make me do such things, make me like those other men, doing the work they do, breathing the air they breathe, developing the point of view they have developed, and you have destroyed the difference, destroyed me, destroyed the thing you love. My desire to write is the most vital thing in me. Had I been a mere clod, neither would I have desired to write, nor would you have desired me for a husband."




"But you forget," she interrupted, the quick surface of her mind glimpsing a parallel. "There have been eccentric inventors, starving their families while they sought such chimeras as perpetual motion. Doubtless their wives loved them, and suffered with them and for them, not because of but in spite of their infatuation for perpetual motion."




"True," was the reply. "But there have been inventors who were not eccentric and who starved while they sought to invent practical things; and sometimes, it is recorded, they succeeded. Certainly I do not seek any impossibilities - "




"You have called it 'achieving the impossible,'" she interpolated.




"I spoke figuratively. I seek to do what men have done before me - to write and to live by my writing."




Her silence spurred him on.




"To you, then, my goal is as much a chimera as perpetual motion?" he demanded.




He read her answer in the pressure of her hand on his - the pitying mother-hand for the hurt child. And to her, just then, he was the hurt child, the infatuated man striving to achieve the impossible.




Toward the close of their talk she warned him again of the antagonism of her father and mother.




"But you love me?" he asked.




"I do! I do!" she cried.




"And I love you, not them, and nothing they do can hurt me." Triumph sounded in his voice. "For I have faith in your love, not fear of their enmity. All things may go astray in this world, but not love. Love cannot go wrong unless it be a weakling that faints and stumbles by the way."
那是个美丽的秋日,小阳春天气又来了。去年此时他俩表白了彼此的爱情,马丁向露丝朗诵了他的媛清组诗人这一天午后,两人又像以前那样骑车来到了他们喜爱的群山中的丘陵。她不时地以欢快的惊呼打断了他的朗诵。现在他把最后一负手稿和别的手稿也到了一起,等待着听她的意见。

她迟迟没有说话。然后便吞吞吐吐地汗始了,犹豫着,想用恰当的语言表达难堪的意思。

“我觉得这些诗都很美,美极了,”她说,“但是你卖不掉,是不是?你懂得我的意思的。”她说,几乎是在请求。“你的写作并不现实,是有什么地方出了问题——也许是市场吧——使你无法靠写作过日子。我求你,亲爱的,你为我写了这些诗,我感到得意,也感到骄傲和如此等等。要不然我就不是真正的女人了。可是诗歌并不能让我们结婚。你明白么,马丁?不要以为我贪财。我打心里感到沉重,我是为了爱情和我俩的未来。我们知道彼此相爱已经一年了,可我们结婚的日子依旧遥远。我像这样谈着结婚,不要以为我不顾廉耻,因为实际上我是拿我的心和我的一切在下赌注。你既然那么醉心于写作,为什么不到一家报纸去工作呢?为什么不去当个记者?——做一段时间至少是可以的吧?”

“那会破坏了我的风格的,”他闷闷不乐地低声回答,“你不知道我为风格下了多少功夫。”

“可那些小故事,”她辩解说,“你吧它们称作下锅之作的,你倒写了不少。它们又是否破坏了你的风格呢?”

“不,情况不同。小故事是在一天漫长的考究风格的工作完毕,我已经筋疲力尽时才去琢磨写出的。而记者工作却要从早到晚卖文为生,写稿成了生活里唯一的也是至高无上的工作。而且生活像旋风一样,只有那一刻,没有过去,也没有将来。肯定不会考虑风格,有的只是记者风格,而记者风格绝对不是文学。我正处在风格逐渐结晶形成的时期,却去做记者,简直是文学上的自杀。现在的情况是,每一个小故事,小故事里的每一个词语都伤害着我,伤害着我的自尊和我对美的尊重。告诉你,写小故事叫我恶心,我在犯罪。小故事没了市场,我内心深处反倒高兴,尽管我的礼服又进了当铺。可是我在写《爱情组诗》的时候是多么美妙快活呀!那是最高贵的创造的欢乐!是对一切一切的报偿。”

马丁不知道,其实露丝对他的“创造的欢乐”并无体会。这个词她用过——他就是从她的嘴唇上第一次听见的。露丝在大学攻读学士学位时读到过,也研究过,可是她并无创造性,不会创作,她一身的文化气息不过是从人云亦云中得来的。

“编辑修改你的《海上抒情诗》难道也错了?”她问,“请记住,没有审查合格证明,编辑是不能上岗的。”

“那正跟现存秩序所坚持的说法合拍,”他回答,自己对编辑之流的怒火左右了他。“现存的不但是正确的,而且是最好的。任何事物的存在本身都足以证明它适于存在——请注意,一般人往往下意识地认为,它不但适于在现有条件下存在,也适于在一切条件下存在。当然,他们之所以相信这种废话是因为愚昧,这种想法大体跟魏宁格所描写的模糊心灵活动不相上下。这些人自以为有思想。而对少数真正进行思考的人下着判断的偏偏就是这类没有思想的家伙。”

他住了口,意识到自己的话已在露丝的理解力之外。

“我相信我不知道这位魏宁格是什么人,”她反驳说,“而你讲起话来又概括得可怕,叫我跟不上。我谈的是编辑资格的问题——”

“我要告诉你,”他插嘴说,“编辑们有百分之九十九主要条件都不合格。他们作为作家都是失败的。不要以为他们愿意放弃写作的欢乐去干那些沉重的伏案工作,或者去做发行或者业务经理的奴隶。他们写作过,但是失败了,于是出现了该死的怪圈:文学的失意者成了看门狗,把守着每一道通向文学成就的大门。编辑、副编辑、编辑助理,为杂志和出版家审查稿件的大部分或几乎全部的人都是想写作而又失败了的人。而决定作品应当或不应当出版的偏偏是他们,偏偏是这些阳光之下芙美众生里最不合格的人——坐在那儿评判着独创性和天才的是他们,是这些已经证明缺少创造性和圣火的人。然后还有评论家,也都是些失败者。别以为他们没有做过梦,没有打算写诗或小说。他们做过的,但是失败了。嗨,平庸的批评比鱼肝油还恶心。不过我对书评家和所谓的评论家的意见是知道的。伟大的评论家是有的,但是像彗星一样稀罕。我若是写作失败了,我可以证明自己从事编辑事业的能力。那里毕竟还有奶油面包,还有果酱。”

露丝机灵,听出了他话里的矛盾,反对起来就更振振有辞了。

“可是马丁,既然那样,既然所有的门都像你所下的结论那样关闭了,伟大的作家又是怎么取得成功的呢?”

“他们做到了别人做不到的事,”他回答,“他们的作品太灿烂,太炽烈,反对的人都叫它们烧成了灰烬。他们是通过奇迹的路成功的,是以一比一手的赌注赌赢了的。他们成功是因为他们是卡莱尔笔下那种遍体鳞伤却不肯低头的巨人。那就是我要做的事。我要做出别人做不到的事。”

“可你要是失败了呢?你还得想到我呀,马丁。”

“我要是失败了?”他盯着她望了一会儿,仿佛她那想法不可思议。然后眼里闪出了聪明的光。“我要是失败,我就去做编辑,让你做编辑的老婆。”

她见他在调皮,眉头便皱了起来——那样子又美丽又可爱,他不禁楼过她就亲吻,吻得她不再皱眉头。

“好了,够了,”她求他,他的阳刚之气迷醉了她,她靠了意志力才挣扎了出来。“我已经跟爸爸妈妈说了。我以前从没坚持自己的意见巨对过他们,这次我可要求他们接受我的意见,我很不孝顺。你知道他们不同意你,但是我一再向他们保证说我永远爱你,爸爸终于同意了。只要你愿意你可以从他的事务所开始。他还主动提出,你一上班他就给你足够的薪水,让我们俩不仅能够结婚,而且能在什么地方有一套住房。我觉得他够体贴的了——你觉得呢?”

马丁心里一阵钝痛,感到失望。他机械地伸出手去,想取烟草和纸——可他再也不带那东西了。他只含糊地回答了一句,露丝说了下去:——

“不过,坦率地说,我不愿意伤害你——我告诉你这话,是想让你知道爸爸对你的印象——他不喜欢你过激的观点,而且认为你懒。当然,我知道你不懒,相反倒是很刻苦。”

马丁心里却明白,自己有多么刻苦就连她也不知道。

“好了,那么,”他说,“对于我的观点呢?你以为我过激,是么?”

他盯着她的眼睛,等着回答。

“我认为你的观点叫人不安,”她回答。

问题已经得到了回答。灰色的生活阻挡了他,使他忘却了她在试图要求他去工作,而她呢,既已说明了想法,冒了险,也愿意等下一次再要求回答。

她不用等多久。马丁自己也向她提出了问题,想衡量一下她对他的信心。还没满一周双方都得到了回答。马丁向她朗诵了他的《太阳的耻辱》,于是形势急转直下。

“你为什么不肯去做记者?”听完朗诵,她问道,“你这么喜欢写作,我相信你会成功的。你可以在新闻事业上出人头地,享有盛名的。有许多了不起的特约通讯员,薪水很高,全世界就是他们的天地。他们被派到世界各地去,比如斯坦利,他就被派到非洲的腹地,派去采访教皇,派到无人知道的西藏。”

“那么你是不喜欢我的论文么?”他问,“你相信我写新闻还可以,搞文学却不行么?”

“不,不,我喜欢你的文学作品,读起来很有意思。但是我担心有的读者跟不上。至少我跟不上。听起来挺美,可是我不懂得。你的科学词汇我弄不清楚。你是个极端分子,你知道,亲爱的。你明白的东西我们别的人可不明白。”

“我估计叫你不明白的是那些哲学术语,”他能说的就是这句话。

他刚朗读了他所写成的最成熟的思想,情绪火热,听了她的断语不禁目瞪口呆。

“不管写得多么糟糕,”他坚持,“你从中看到了什么东西么?——我指的是思想?”

她摇摇头。

“没有,它和我读过的东西都非常不同。我读过梅特林克,懂得他——”

“他的神秘主义,你懂得?”马丁爆发了出来。

“懂,但是你的话我不懂,看来你是攻击他的。当然,要是强调独创性的话——”

他做了个不耐烦的手势,打断了她的话,自己却没有说什么。他突然意识到她正在说话,已经说了一会儿。

“说到底你是在玩写作,”她在说,“你确实玩得太久了。已经到了严肃地面对生活——面对我们的生活的时候了,马丁。到目前为止,你只是一个人在生活。”

“你是要想我去工作么?”他问。

“是的,爸爸已经提出——”

“那些我都明白,”他叫了起来,“可我想知道的是你对我是否失去了信心?”

她默默地捏住他的手,眼神迷茫。

“失去了对你写作的信心,亲爱的。”她低声说。

“你读过我许多东西,”他粗野地说下去,“你有什么看法?完全没有希望么?和别人的东西比怎么样?”

“可是别人的作品卖掉了,你的——没有。”

“那并没有回答我的问题。你认为我不能从事文学么?”

‘那我就回答你吧。”她鼓起了勇气回答;“我认为你不是搞写作的料。请原谅我,亲爱的。是你逼我说的;而你知道我比你更懂得文学。”

“是的,你是个文学学土,”他沉吟着说,“你应该懂得。”

“但是我还有别的话要说,”两人痛苦地沉默了一会儿,他说了下去,“我知道我心里有些什么,没有别人比我更了解。我知道我会成功的。我不愿意受到压抑。我想要用诗歌、小说。散文的形式表现的东西燃烧着我。不过我不要求你对它有信心。我并不要求你对我有信心,对我的写作有信心。我要求你的只是爱我,对于爱情有信心。

“一年以前我要求了两年,还有一年没有到期。而我以我的荣誉和灵魂发誓,相信这一年没有过完我就会成功的。你记得很久以前告诉过我的话,我学写作还有个学徒阶段。是的,我的学徒阶段已经过去。我已经把它塞满了,压缩了。你在前面等着我,我从来没有偷过懒。你知道么,我已经忘记平平静静地入睡是怎么回事了。睡得心满意足,然后高高兴兴地自然醒来对我已是几百万年以前的事了。我现在总是叫闹钟闹醒,早睡也好,晚睡也好,闹钟总上好的。这个动作,关灯,是我的最后的有意识的动作。

“我感到疲倦了便把费力的书换成轻松点的。我打瞌睡,便用指关节敲我的脑袋,把睡意赶走。我曾读到一个害怕睡觉的人。故事是吉卜林写的。那人为防止打瞌睡,弄了一根铁刺,人一迷糊他的光身子就扎到铁刺上。我就弄了这么个东西。我看准了时间,决定不到一点、两点、三点那刺决不撤掉。它就像这样在预定时间以前总扎醒我。好多个月以来那铁刺都是陪着我睡觉的。我不要命了,五小时半的睡眠已是奢侈品。我现在只睡四小时。我渴望睡眠。有时候我因为缺少睡眠把头脑弄得很清醒,有时能带来休息和睡眠的死亡对我成了严重的诱惑,那时朗赛罗的诗总京回在我的脑际:——“‘大海是那样平静幽邃,怀里的一切都沉沉安睡;向前一步便一了百了,一跳,一串泡,万事全消。’

“当然,这是瞎说,是因为太紧张,精神负担过重才这样说的。问题还在:我为什么要这样做?那是为了你,为了缩短学徒期,强迫成功早日来到。现在我的学徒期已经满了,我知道我的学识,我发誓我一个月之内学到的东西要比普通的大学生一年还多。这我明白,我告诉你。但是如果不是迫切地需要你的理解,我是不会说的。这不是夸耀。我用书本来检验成绩。今天你的几个弟兄跟我和我在他们睡大觉时在书本中所取得的知识一比,简直就是无知的野蛮人。很久以前我想成名,可现在已没有那意思了。我想要的只有你。我渴望你,比吃饭穿衣和受到承认更渴望。我做梦也想把我的头枕在你的胸口睡一辈子。而这个梦再过一年左右就可以实现了。”

他的强力一浪又一浪地冲击着她。在他的意志和她的意志碰撞最严重的时候,也正是她最强烈地感到他的吸引力的时候。他那一向向她流泻的力量在他那激动的声音和炯炯的目光里开出了花朵,在澎湃于他体内的生命和智慧的活力里开出了花朵。在那时,也只在那时,她意识到了她的信心出现了一道裂缝——通过那裂缝她瞥见了那真正的马丁·伊登,灿烂的,不可战胜的马丁·伊登。有如驯兽师有时也会犹豫一样,她一时也怀疑自己是否有力量驯服这个精灵般的野蛮人。

“还有一件事,”他滔滔不绝地说下去,“你爱我,可你为什么爱我?吸引你的爱情的正是在我心里强迫我写作的东西。你爱我,正因为我跟你所认识的人,可能爱的人,有所不同。我不是坐办公桌和会计室的料,不是凭嘴劲谈生意,上法庭玩条文的料。叫我于这种事,把我变成别的人,做他们的工作,呼吸他们的空气,发挥他们的论点,你就毁灭了我和他们的差异,也毁灭了我,毁灭了你所爱的东西。我对写作的渴望对我是最举足轻重的东西。我如果是块顽石,我就不会想写作,你也就不会要我做丈夫了。”

“但是你忘了,”她插嘴道,她心灵的敏捷的外层瞥见了一个类似的东西。“过去有过古怪的发明家,为了追求永动机这种奇特玩意让全家人忍饥挨饿。他们的妻子们无疑是爱他们的,为了他们和他们一起受苦,可并不是因为对永动机的迷醉而是不计较他们那迷醉。”

“说得对,”回答是,“可是也有并不奇特的发明家,他们在追求现实的发明时也挨饿。而有时他们却成功了,这是有记录的,我并没有想入非非——”

“可你说过,‘要做做不到的事’。”她打断了他的话。

“我那是打比喻。我追求的是前人成功了的事——写作,靠写作为生。”

她保持沉默,这又逼得他说了下去。

“那么,你认为我的目标是跟永动机一样的怪物么?”他问。

她捏了捏他的手,他明白了她的意思——那是怜爱的母亲在捏受伤的孩子的手。那时他对她不过是个受伤的孩子。是一个着了迷的人,在追求着不可能的东西。

两人谈话快结束时她再次提醒他她父母的反对。

“可是你爱我么?”

“我爱你!爱你!”她叫了起来。

“我爱的是你,不是他们,他们无论做什么都伤害不了我。”他的声音里震响着胜利。“因为我对你的爱有信心,也不怕他们的反对。在这个世界上,一切都可能迷路,爱情是决不会迷路的。只要爱情不是个弱者,一路畏畏缩缩,磕磕绊绊,就不会走错。”
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 29楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  29


It was a hard summer for Martin. Manuscript readers and editors were away on vacation, and publications that ordinarily returned a decision in three weeks now retained his manuscript for three months or more. The consolation he drew from it was that a saving in postage was effected by the deadlock. Only the robber- publications seemed to remain actively in business, and to them Martin disposed of all his early efforts, such as "Pearl-diving," "The Sea as a Career," "Turtle-catching," and "The Northeast Trades." For these manuscripts he never received a penny. It is true, after six months' correspondence, he effected a compromise, whereby he received a safety razor for "Turtle-catching," and that THE ACROPOLIS, having agreed to give him five dollars cash and five yearly subscriptions: for "The Northeast Trades," fulfilled the second part of the agreement.




For a sonnet on Stevenson he managed to wring two dollars out of a Boston editor who was running a magazine with a Matthew Arnold taste and a penny-dreadful purse. "The Peri and the Pearl," a clever skit of a poem of two hundred lines, just finished, white hot from his brain, won the heart of the editor of a San Francisco magazine published in the interest of a great railroad. When the editor wrote, offering him payment in transportation, Martin wrote back to inquire if the transportation was transferable. It was not, and so, being prevented from peddling it, he asked for the return of the poem. Back it came, with the editor's regrets, and Martin sent it to San Francisco again, this time to THE HORNET, a pretentious monthly that had been fanned into a constellation of the first magnitude by the brilliant journalist who founded it. But THE HORNET'S light had begun to dim long before Martin was born. The editor promised Martin fifteen dollars for the poem, but, when it was published, seemed to forget about it. Several of his letters being ignored, Martin indicted an angry one which drew a reply. It was written by a new editor, who coolly informed Martin that he declined to be held responsible for the old editor's mistakes, and that he did not think much of "The Peri and the Pearl" anyway.




But THE GLOBE, a Chicago magazine, gave Martin the most cruel treatment of all. He had refrained from offering his "Sea Lyrics" for publication, until driven to it by starvation. After having been rejected by a dozen magazines, they had come to rest in THE GLOBE office. There were thirty poems in the collection, and he was to receive a dollar apiece for them. The first month four were published, and he promptly received a cheek for four dollars; but when he looked over the magazine, he was appalled at the slaughter. In some cases the titles had been altered: "Finis," for instance, being changed to "The Finish," and "The Song of the Outer Reef" to "The Song of the Coral Reef." In one case, an absolutely different title, a misappropriate title, was substituted. In place of his own, "Medusa Lights," the editor had printed, "The Backward Track." But the slaughter in the body of the poems was terrifying. Martin groaned and sweated and thrust his hands through his hair. Phrases, lines, and stanzas were cut out, interchanged, or juggled about in the most incomprehensible manner. Sometimes lines and stanzas not his own were substituted for his. He could not believe that a sane editor could be guilty of such maltreatment, and his favorite hypothesis was that his poems must have been doctored by the office boy or the stenographer. Martin wrote immediately, begging the editor to cease publishing the lyrics and to return them to him.




He wrote again and again, begging, entreating, threatening, but his letters were ignored. Month by month the slaughter went on till the thirty poems were published, and month by month he received a check for those which had appeared in the current number.




Despite these various misadventures, the memory of the WHITE MOUSE forty-dollar check sustained him, though he was driven more and more to hack-work. He discovered a bread-and-butter field in the agricultural weeklies and trade journals, though among the religious weeklies he found he could easily starve. At his lowest ebb, when his black suit was in pawn, he made a ten-strike - or so it seemed to him - in a prize contest arranged by the County Committee of the Republican Party. There were three branches of the contest, and he entered them all, laughing at himself bitterly the while in that he was driven to such straits to live. His poem won the first prize of ten dollars, his campaign song the second prize of five dollars, his essay on the principles of the Republican Party the first prize of twenty-five dollars. Which was very gratifying to him until he tried to collect. Something had gone wrong in the County Committee, and, though a rich banker and a state senator were members of it, the money was not forthcoming. While this affair was hanging fire, he proved that he understood the principles of the Democratic Party by winning the first prize for his essay in a similar contest. And, moreover, he received the money, twenty-five dollars. But the forty dollars won in the first contest he never received.




Driven to shifts in order to see Ruth, and deciding that the long walk from north Oakland to her house and back again consumed too much time, he kept his black suit in pawn in place of his bicycle. The latter gave him exercise, saved him hours of time for work, and enabled him to see Ruth just the same. A pair of knee duck trousers and an old sweater made him a presentable wheel costume, so that he could go with Ruth on afternoon rides. Besides, he no longer had opportunity to see much of her in her own home, where Mrs. Morse was thoroughly prosecuting her campaign of entertainment. The exalted beings he met there, and to whom he had looked up but a short time before, now bored him. They were no longer exalted. He was nervous and irritable, what of his hard times, disappointments, and close application to work, and the conversation of such people was maddening. He was not unduly egotistic. He measured the narrowness of their minds by the minds of the thinkers in the books he read. At Ruth's home he never met a large mind, with the exception of Professor Caldwell, and Caldwell he had met there only once. As for the rest, they were numskulls, ninnies, superficial, dogmatic, and ignorant. It was their ignorance that astounded him. What was the matter with them? What had they done with their educations? They had had access to the same books he had. How did it happen that they had drawn nothing from them?




He knew that the great minds, the deep and rational thinkers, existed. He had his proofs from the books, the books that had educated him beyond the Morse standard. And he knew that higher intellects than those of the Morse circle were to be found in the world. He read English society novels, wherein he caught glimpses of men and women talking politics and philosophy. And he read of salons in great cities, even in the United States, where art and intellect congregated. Foolishly, in the past, he had conceived that all well-groomed persons above the working class were persons with power of intellect and vigor of beauty. Culture and collars had gone together, to him, and he had been deceived into believing that college educations and mastery were the same things.




Well, he would fight his way on and up higher. And he would take Ruth with him. Her he dearly loved, and he was confident that she would shine anywhere. As it was clear to him that he had been handicapped by his early environment, so now he perceived that she was similarly handicapped. She had not had a chance to expand. The books on her father's shelves, the paintings on the walls, the music on the piano - all was just so much meretricious display. To real literature, real painting, real music, the Morses and their kind, were dead. And bigger than such things was life, of which they were densely, hopelessly ignorant. In spite of their Unitarian proclivities and their masks of conservative broadmindedness, they were two generations behind interpretative science: their mental processes were mediaeval, while their thinking on the ultimate data of existence and of the universe struck him as the same metaphysical method that was as young as the youngest race, as old as the cave-man, and older - the same that moved the first Pleistocene ape-man to fear the dark; that moved the first hasty Hebrew savage to incarnate Eve from Adam's rib; that moved Descartes to build an idealistic system of the universe out of the projections of his own puny ego; and that moved the famous British ecclesiastic to denounce evolution in satire so scathing as to win immediate applause and leave his name a notorious scrawl on the page of history.




So Martin thought, and he thought further, till it dawned upon him that the difference between these lawyers, officers, business men, and bank cashiers he had met and the members of the working class he had known was on a par with the difference in the food they ate, clothes they wore, neighborhoods in which they lived. Certainly, in all of them was lacking the something more which he found in himself and in the books. The Morses had shown him the best their social position could produce, and he was not impressed by it. A pauper himself, a slave to the money-lender, he knew himself the superior of those he met at the Morses'; and, when his one decent suit of clothes was out of pawn, he moved among them a lord of life, quivering with a sense of outrage akin to what a prince would suffer if condemned to live with goat-herds.




"You hate and fear the socialists," he remarked to Mr. Morse, one evening at dinner; "but why? You know neither them nor their doctrines."




The conversation had been swung in that direction by Mrs. Morse, who had been invidiously singing the praises of Mr. Hapgood. The cashier was Martin's black beast, and his temper was a trifle short where the talker of platitudes was concerned.




"Yes," he had said, "Charley Hapgood is what they call a rising young man - somebody told me as much. And it is true. He'll make the Governor's Chair before he dies, and, who knows? maybe the United States Senate."




"What makes you think so?" Mrs. Morse had inquired.




"I've heard him make a campaign speech. It was so cleverly stupid and unoriginal, and also so convincing, that the leaders cannot help but regard him as safe and sure, while his platitudes are so much like the platitudes of the average voter that - oh, well, you know you flatter any man by dressing up his own thoughts for him and presenting them to him."




"I actually think you are jealous of Mr. Hapgood," Ruth had chimed in.




"Heaven forbid!"




The look of horror on Martin's face stirred Mrs. Morse to belligerence.




"You surely don't mean to say that Mr. Hapgood is stupid?" she demanded icily.




"No more than the average Republican," was the retort, "or average Democrat, either. They are all stupid when they are not crafty, and very few of them are crafty. The only wise Republicans are the millionnaires and their conscious henchmen. They know which side their bread is buttered on, and they know why."




"I am a Republican," Mr. Morse put in lightly. "Pray, how do you classify me?"




"Oh, you are an unconscious henchman."




"Henchman?"




"Why, yes. You do corporation work. You have no working-class nor criminal practice. You don't depend upon wife-beaters and pickpockets for your income. You get your livelihood from the masters of society, and whoever feeds a man is that man's master. Yes, you are a henchman. You are interested in advancing the interests of the aggregations of capital you serve."




Mr. Morse's face was a trifle red.




"I confess, sir," he said, "that you talk like a scoundrelly socialist."




Then it was that Martin made his remark:




"You hate and fear the socialists; but why? You know neither them nor their doctrines."




"Your doctrine certainly sounds like socialism," Mr. Morse replied, while Ruth gazed anxiously from one to the other, and Mrs. Morse beamed happily at the opportunity afforded of rousing her liege lord's antagonism.




"Because I say Republicans are stupid, and hold that liberty, equality, and fraternity are exploded bubbles, does not make me a socialist," Martin said with a smile. "Because I question Jefferson and the unscientific Frenchmen who informed his mind, does not make me a socialist. Believe me, Mr. Morse, you are far nearer socialism than I who am its avowed enemy."




"Now you please to be facetious," was all the other could say.




"Not at all. I speak in all seriousness. You still believe in equality, and yet you do the work of the corporations, and the corporations, from day to day, are busily engaged in burying equality. And you call me a socialist because I deny equality, because I affirm just what you live up to. The Republicans are foes to equality, though most of them fight the battle against equality with the very word itself the slogan on their lips. In the name of equality they destroy equality. That was why I called them stupid. As for myself, I am an individualist. I believe the race is to the swift, the battle to the strong. Such is the lesson I have learned from biology, or at least think I have learned. As I said, I am an individualist, and individualism is the hereditary and eternal foe of socialism."




"But you frequent socialist meetings," Mr. Morse challenged.




"Certainly, just as spies frequent hostile camps. How else are you to learn about the enemy? Besides, I enjoy myself at their meetings. They are good fighters, and, right or wrong, they have read the books. Any one of them knows far more about sociology and all the other ologies than the average captain of industry. Yes, I have been to half a dozen of their meetings, but that doesn't make me a socialist any more than hearing Charley Hapgood orate made me a Republican."




"I can't help it," Mr. Morse said feebly, "but I still believe you incline that way."




Bless me, Martin thought to himself, he doesn't know what I was talking about. He hasn't understood a word of it. What did he do with his education, anyway?




Thus, in his development, Martin found himself face to face with economic morality, or the morality of class; and soon it became to him a grisly monster. Personally, he was an intellectual moralist, and more offending to him than platitudinous pomposity was the morality of those about him, which was a curious hotchpotch of the economic, the metaphysical, the sentimental, and the imitative.




A sample of this curious messy mixture he encountered nearer home. His sister Marian had been keeping company with an industrious young mechanic, of German extraction, who, after thoroughly learning the trade, had set up for himself in a bicycle-repair shop. Also, having got the agency for a low-grade make of wheel, he was prosperous. Marian had called on Martin in his room a short time before to announce her engagement, during which visit she had playfully inspected Martin's palm and told his fortune. On her next visit she brought Hermann von Schmidt along with her. Martin did the honors and congratulated both of them in language so easy and graceful as to affect disagreeably the peasant-mind of his sister's lover. This bad impression was further heightened by Martin's reading aloud the half-dozen stanzas of verse with which he had commemorated Marian's previous visit. It was a bit of society verse, airy and delicate, which he had named "The Palmist." He was surprised, when he finished reading it, to note no enjoyment in his sister's face. Instead, her eyes were fixed anxiously upon her betrothed, and Martin, following her gaze, saw spread on that worthy's asymmetrical features nothing but black and sullen disapproval. The incident passed over, they made an early departure, and Martin forgot all about it, though for the moment he had been puzzled that any woman, even of the working class, should not have been flattered and delighted by having poetry written about her.




Several evenings later Marian again visited him, this time alone. Nor did she waste time in coming to the point, upbraiding him sorrowfully for what he had done.




"Why, Marian," he chided, "you talk as though you were ashamed of your relatives, or of your brother at any rate."




"And I am, too," she blurted out.




Martin was bewildered by the tears of mortification he saw in her eyes. The mood, whatever it was, was genuine.




"But, Marian, why should your Hermann be jealous of my writing poetry about my own sister?"




"He ain't jealous," she sobbed. "He says it was indecent, ob - obscene."




Martin emitted a long, low whistle of incredulity, then proceeded to resurrect and read a carbon copy of "The Palmist."




"I can't see it," he said finally, proffering the manuscript to her. "Read it yourself and show me whatever strikes you as obscene - that was the word, wasn't it?"




"He says so, and he ought to know," was the answer, with a wave aside of the manuscript, accompanied by a look of loathing. "And he says you've got to tear it up. He says he won't have no wife of his with such things written about her which anybody can read. He says it's a disgrace, an' he won't stand for it."




"Now, look here, Marian, this is nothing but nonsense," Martin began; then abruptly changed his mind.




He saw before him an unhappy girl, knew the futility of attempting to convince her husband or her, and, though the whole situation was absurd and preposterous, he resolved to surrender.




"All right," he announced, tearing the manuscript into half a dozen pieces and throwing it into the waste-basket.




He contented himself with the knowledge that even then the original type-written manuscript was reposing in the office of a New York magazine. Marian and her husband would never know, and neither himself nor they nor the world would lose if the pretty, harmless poem ever were published.




Marian, starting to reach into the waste-basket, refrained.




"Can I?" she pleaded.




He nodded his head, regarding her thoughtfully as she gathered the torn pieces of manuscript and tucked them into the pocket of her jacket - ocular evidence of the success of her mission. She reminded him of Lizzie Connolly, though there was less of fire and gorgeous flaunting life in her than in that other girl of the working class whom he had seen twice. But they were on a par, the pair of them, in dress and carriage, and he smiled with inward amusement at the caprice of his fancy which suggested the appearance of either of them in Mrs. Morse's drawing-room. The amusement faded, and he was aware of a great loneliness. This sister of his and the Morse drawing-room were milestones of the road he had travelled. And he had left them behind. He glanced affectionately about him at his few books. They were all the comrades left to him.




"Hello, what's that?" he demanded in startled surprise.




Marian repeated her question.




"Why don't I go to work?" He broke into a laugh that was only half-hearted. "That Hermann of yours has been talking to you."




She shook her head.




"Don't lie," he commanded, and the nod of her head affirmed his charge.




"Well, you tell that Hermann of yours to mind his own business; that when I write poetry about the girl he's keeping company with it's his business, but that outside of that he's got no say so. Understand?




"So you don't think I'll succeed as a writer, eh?" he went on. "You think I'm no good? - that I've fallen down and am a disgrace to the family?"




"I think it would be much better if you got a job," she said firmly, and he saw she was sincere. "Hermann says - "




"Damn Hermann!" he broke out good-naturedly. "What I want to know is when you're going to get married. Also, you find out from your Hermann if he will deign to permit you to accept a wedding present from me."




He mused over the incident after she had gone, and once or twice broke out into laughter that was bitter as he saw his sister and her betrothed, all the members of his own class and the members of Ruth's class, directing their narrow little lives by narrow little formulas - herd-creatures, flocking together and patterning their lives by one another's opinions, failing of being individuals and of really living life because of the childlike formulas by which they were enslaved. He summoned them before him in apparitional procession: Bernard Higginbotham arm in arm with Mr. Butler, Hermann von Schmidt cheek by jowl with Charley Hapgood, and one by one and in pairs he judged them and dismissed them - judged them by the standards of intellect and morality he had learned from the books. Vainly he asked: Where are the great souls, the great men and women? He found them not among the careless, gross, and stupid intelligences that answered the call of vision to his narrow room. He felt a loathing for them such as Circe must have felt for her swine. When he had dismissed the last one and thought himself alone, a late-comer entered, unexpected and unsummoned. Martin watched him and saw the stiff-rim, the square-cut, double-breasted coat and the swaggering shoulders, of the youthful hoodlum who had once been he.




"You were like all the rest, young fellow," Martin sneered. "Your morality and your knowledge were just the same as theirs. You did not think and act for yourself. Your opinions, like your clothes, were ready made; your acts were shaped by popular approval. You were cock of your gang because others acclaimed you the real thing. You fought and ruled the gang, not because you liked to, - you know you really despised it, - but because the other fellows patted you on the shoulder. You licked Cheese-Face because you wouldn't give in, and you wouldn't give in partly because you were an abysmal brute and for the rest because you believed what every one about you believed, that the measure of manhood was the carnivorous ferocity displayed in injuring and marring fellow-creatures' anatomies. Why, you whelp, you even won other fellows' girls away from them, not because you wanted the girls, but because in the marrow of those about you, those who set your moral pace, was the instinct of the wild stallion and the bull-seal. Well, the years have passed, and what do you think about it now?"




As if in reply, the vision underwent a swift metamorphosis. The stiff-rim and the square-cut vanished, being replaced by milder garments; the toughness went out of the face, the hardness out of the eyes; and, the face, chastened and refined, was irradiated from an inner life of communion with beauty and knowledge. The apparition was very like his present self, and, as he regarded it, he noted the student-lamp by which it was illuminated, and the book over which it pored. He glanced at the title and read, "The Science of AEsthetics." Next, he entered into the apparition, trimmed the student-lamp, and himself went on reading "The Science of AEsthetics."
那个夏天马丁过得很艰难。审稿人和编辑们都放假走掉了。报刊杂志平时三个礼拜就能回信,现在一拖三个月,有时更久。他感到安慰的是邮费倒是因为这僵局而省掉了。出版仍然活跃的是那些强盗报刊。马丁把他早期的作品如《潜水采珠》、《海上生涯》、《捕鳖》、《东北季候风》全寄给了它们,没有从这些稿子得到分文稿酬。不过,在六个月书信往返之后他取得了一项折中:从《捕鳖》得到了一把刮胡刀;刊登他的《东北季候风》的《卫城》则同意给他五元现金和五年赠阅——后来只执行了协议的第二部分。

他把一首咏史蒂文森的十四行诗卖给了波士顿一个编辑,从那儿挤出了两元钱。那编辑办的杂志虽饶有马修·阿诺德风格,钱袋子却攥得极紧。他新写成的一首二百行的巧妙的讽刺诗《仙女与珍珠》,刚从脑子里热腾腾出笼,得到了旧金山一家杂志编辑的青睐。那杂志是为一条大铁路办的。杂志编辑写信问他是否可以用免费乘车证代替稿费,他回信问那乘车证可否转让,回答是不能转让。既然不能转让他只好要求退稿。稿子退了回来,编辑表示遗憾,马丁又把它寄到旧金山,给了《大黄蜂》,一家神气十足的杂志,是一个精明的报人一手创办并吹嘘成最辉煌的明星杂志的。但是《大黄蜂》的光芒在马丁出世以前早已暗淡。编辑同意给马丁十五元钱买那首诗,不过在刊出之后却似乎忘了寄稿费的事。马丁去了几封信都没有回音,便写去了一封措辞尖刻的信,算是引来了回答。那是一个新任编辑写的,冷冰冰地告诉马丁他不能对他前任编辑的错误负责。而且他认为《仙女与珍珠》也并不怎么样。

但是给予马丁最残酷打击的却是一家芝加哥的杂志《环球》。马丁一直不肯把他的《海上抒情诗》送出去发表,实在是因为太饿才终于改变了初衷。在遭到十多家杂志拒绝之后,那稿子来到了《环球》的办公室。那集子里一共有三十首诗,一首诗能给他一块钱。第一个月发表了四首,他立即得到了四块钱支票。但是一看杂志,他却为那屠杀式的窜改气得发疯。连标题都改了,《结局》给改成了《完》;《外礁之歌》给改成了《珊瑚礁之歌》;还有一处标题改得文不对题,《美杜莎的目光》被改成了《倒退的轨迹》。诗歌本身的胡涂乱改更是可怕。马丁嗷嗷叫着,满身冷汗,揪着头发。用词、诗行和小节都被莫名其妙地划掉了、交换了、颠倒了、混淆了。有时又凭空飞来些诗节,代替了他的原作。他很难相信一个头脑清醒的编辑竟会这样横行霸道。若是说那诗是叫一个跑街小厮或是速记员动了手术,他倒比较相信。马丁立即去信请求原诗退回,别再发表。他一封又一封地写信,要求,央告,乞请,威胁,都没有回音。那蹂躏屠杀一个月一个月地继续下去,直到他的三十首诗一一发表完毕。支票倒是每月作品一发就寄来的。

尽管有这些倒霉的事,关于《白鼠》的那四十元支票的记忆仍然支持着他,只是他不得不越来越多地写下锅之作。他在农业周刊和行业刊物里找到了奶油面包,也发现靠宗教周刊容易饿饭。在他最倒霉、连那套黑色礼服也进了当辅以后,却在共和党县委组织的一次有奖比赛里得了个满分——或者是自以为如此。竞赛分作三项,他全参加了——他不禁对自己苦笑,竟弄到了这种山穷水尽的地步!他的诗歌得了一等奖,十元;他的竞选歌曲得了二等奖,五元;他的论述共和党原则的论文得了一等奖,二十五元。这叫他心满意足,可到他去领奖时才发现还有问题。原来县委内部出了差错,尽管县委里有一个有钱的银行家和一个州参议员,奖金却迟迟没有发了来。这个问题还悬而未决,他又在另一项论文竞赛里得了个一等奖,不但证明了自己也懂得民主党的原则,而且到手了二十五元奖金。不过共和党竞赛的那四十元却泡了汤。

他不得不设计和露丝见面的办法。考虑到从北奥克兰步行到露丝家再走回来路程太远,他决定把黑色礼服送进了当铺,以保留自行车。自行车照样能让他跟露丝见面,却又能锻炼身材,而且能省下时间来工作。他只须穿上一条细帆布齐膝短裤和一件旧毛线衣,也能算有了过得去的骑车装,下午便能够和露丝一起骑车兜风了。而且,他在她家里见到她的机会也不多,因为莫尔斯太太正全力以赴推行她的请客计划。他在那儿见到的不久前还叫他莫测高深的上流人士现在已叫他生厌。他们再也不神气了。他因为自己日子过得艰难,屡遭挫折,工作又太辛苦,本来就敏感易怒,而他们的谈吐又总惹他生气。他的这种自满未始没有道理。他用自己在书上读到的思想家作尺度来衡量那些人狭隘的心灵,除却考德威尔教授以外,他在露丝家就没有遇见过一个心灵博大的人,而考德威尔教授他也只见过一次。其他的人全都是些蠢材,笨蛋,又浅薄,又武断,又无知。最叫他吃惊的是他们的无知。他们是怎么了?他们受过的教育到哪儿去了?他读过的书他们都是读过的,可是为什么他们从那些书里就什么都没有学到?

他知道世界上确实有博大的心灵和深沉合理的思想。这是他从书本上验证过的。那些书本给他的教育超过了莫尔斯家的标准。他也明白世上有高于莫尔斯圈子的聪明才智。他阅读英国的社交小说,在其中瞥见过一些讨论政治和哲学的绅士淑女。他也读到过大都会里的沙龙,艺术和聪明都在那里会集,而这种沙龙美国也有。他过去曾愚昧地以为:高踞于工人阶级以上的衣冠楚楚的人们全都智慧过人,情操优美。他曾以为文化总伴随着白领;他曾受过骗,以为大学教育就是博学多才。

是的,他要奋斗,要向上,还要把露丝留在身边。他对她一往情深,深信她所到之处都一路光辉。他明白自己少时的环境限制过自己;也明白露丝的环境也会限制她。她没有发展的机会。她父亲架上的书、墙上的画和钢琴上的乐曲至多也不过是些平庸的装饰。莫尔斯一家和类似的人对真正的文学、绘画和音乐全都迟钝,而生活却比那一切宏伟多了。他们对生活愚昧得无可救药。尽管他们倾向于唯一神教,戴了一副具有保守开明思想的面具,实际上他们已落后于解释世界的科学两代之久。他们的思想还处在中世纪阶段。同时,他也感到,他们看待生命和宇宙的终极事实的方法还是形而上学的,那种看法阻地球上最年轻的种族的看法一样幼稚;也跟穴居人的看法一样古老,甚至更古老——那看法使第一个更新世的猿人害怕黑暗;使第一个匆促的希伯来野蛮人用亚当的肋骨造成了夏娃;使笛卡尔通过反射渺小的自我建立了唯心主义的宇宙体系;使那有名的英格兰传教士用尖刻的讽刺来谴责进化论,并立即博得了喝彩,从而在历史的篇章里草草留下了一个臭名。

马丁想着,又想了开去。他终于明白过来,他所见过的这些律师。军官、商人和银行经理跟他所认识的工人阶级成员们之间的差异是跟他们的食物、服装和人事环境一致的。他们每个人都肯定缺少了某种东西,而那东西他在书本里和自己具上已经找到。莫尔斯一家向他展示了他们的社会地位所能提供的最佳事物,可他并不觉得那些事物有什么了不起。他一贫如洗,成了放债人的奴隶。可他明白自己要比在莫尔斯家见到的那些人高明。他只要把他那身见客服装赎出来,就能像生命的主宰一样周旋在他们之间,带着受到侮辱的战栗,其感受有如被罢黜到牧羊人中间的王子。

“你仇恨而且害怕社会主义者,”有一天晚餐时他对莫尔斯先生说,“可那是为什么?你并不认识社会主义者,也不懂得他们的学说。”

话头是由莫尔斯太太引起的。她一直在令人厌烦地歌颂着哈外古德先生。那银行家在马丁心目中是一匹黑色的野兽,一提起那个满口陈词滥调的家伙他就免不了要生气。

“是的,”他说,“查理·哈补占德是所谓的扶摇直上的青年——有人这么说。这话不错,他也许在去世之前能当上州长,说不定还能进合众国的参议院,谁也说不准。”

“你凭什么这么想?”莫尔斯太太问。

“我听他发表过竞选演说。愚蠢得非常聪明,尤其擅长人云亦云,还很有说服力。当头头的准会认为他安全可靠。他的陈词滥调跟普通的投票人的陈词滥调非常相似——不错,你知道,只要你能把任何人的话美化一番,再送还给他,你准保能得到他的欢心。”

“我的确认为你是妒忌哈扑古德先生。”露丝插话说。

“上天不允许!”

马丁脸上的厌恶之情挑起了莫尔斯太大的敌对情绪。

“你肯定不是说哈扑古德先生愚蠢吧?”她冷冷地质问。

“并不比一般的共和党人更愚蠢,”他针锋相对,“或者说,也不比民主党人更愚蠢。他们不耍手腕时都很愚蠢,而他们之中善于要手腕的并不多。聪明的共和党人是那些百万富翁们和他们的自觉的仆从们。他们明白自己的利害所在,也深知此中的奥妙。”

“我就是个共和党,”莫尔斯先生不动声色地插了一句,“请问,你把我归于哪一类?”

“哦,你是个不自觉的仆从。”

“仆从?”

“不错,不过那也没什么。你在公司工作,你不替工人打官司,也不打刑事官司;你的律师收入不靠打老婆的穷人,也不靠扒手。你从主宰着社会的人讨生活——谁养活别人,谁就是别人的主宰。不错,你就是个仆从。你只对如何增进资本集团的利益感到兴趣。”

莫尔斯先生涨红了脸。

“我得承认,先生,”他说,“你的话跟流氓式的社会主义者差不多。”

这时马丁回答的就是上面那句话:——

“你仇恨而且害怕社会主义者,可那是为什么?你并不认识社会主义者,也不知道他们的学说。”

‘你的学说听起来就像社会主义。”莫尔斯先生回答。这时露丝焦急地望着他们俩,而莫尔斯太太则快活得满脸放光,因为她终于找到了机会,挑起了老爷子的不满。

“不能因为我说共和党人愚蠢,认为自由平等博爱已经成了破灭的肥皂泡,就把我算成社会主义者。”马丁望尔一笑,说,“我虽对杰怫逊和那些向他提供材料的不科学的法国人提出怀疑,却不能算是社会主义者。请相信我,莫尔斯先生,你比我还要接近社会主义得多,反之,我倒是社会主义的死敌。”

“现在你倒有心思开玩笑。”对方无可奈何地说。

“一点也不开玩笑。我说话可是一本正经的。你还相信平等,可你为公司干活,而公司是每天都在埋葬着平等的。你因为我否认平等,揭穿了你的所作所为的实质就说我是社会主义者。共和党人是平等的敌人,虽然他们大部分人嘴上都挂着平等的口号在进行着反对平等的斗争。他们其实是在以平等的名义摧毁着平等。因此我说他们愚昧。至于我自己,我是个个人主义者,我相信赛跑是腿脚快的得奖,打架是力气大的获胜。这就是我从生物学学到的,至少是自以为学到的东西。我说过我是个个人主义者,而个人主义天生就是社会主义的敌人,永远的敌人。”

“但是你参加社会主义的聚会,”莫尔斯先生反驳道。

“当然,正如间谍要打入敌人营垒里去一样,否则你怎么能知道敌人呢?何况我参加他们的集会还感到快活。他们是优秀的战士,而且,无论他们是否正确,他们都读过书。他们中的任何一个人所懂得的社会学和别的学问也比一般企业老板多得多。是的,我参加过他们六七次会议,但那也不能把我变成社会主义者,正如听了查理·哈外古德的讲演并不能把我变成共和党人一样。”

“我是情不自禁产生这种想法的,”莫尔斯先生冷冷地说,“我仍然觉得你倾向于社会主义。”

上帝保佑,马丁心想,他不懂我的意思,我的话他一句话也没有听懂。他当初那教育是怎么受的?马丁就像这样在发展之中让自己面对了经济地位所形成的道德观,也就是阶级的道德,那东西在他面前很快就化作了一个狰狞的怪物。他本人是个理性的道德家,而在他眼里他周围这些人的道德观却比大言不惭的陈词监调更为可厌,那是一种经济道德、形而上学道德、伤感主义道德跟人云亦云的道德的妙不盯言的大杂烩。

他在自己的家里就尝到了一口这种离奇的混合道德的美味。他的妹妹茉莉安和一个年轻勤奋的德国血统技工有了来往。那人在学会了全部技术之后开了一家自行车修理铺,站住了脚跟。以后他又获得了一种低级牌子的自行车的代销权,于是富了起来。茉莉安前不久到马丁那小屋来看他,告诉了他她订婚的事。那时她还开玩笑,给马丁看了看手相。第二次她来时带来了赫尔曼·冯·史密特。马丁表示欢迎,并用了很为流畅优美的言辞向两人祝贺,可那却引起工妹妹的情人那农民心灵的抵触。马丁又朗诵了他为纪念跟茉莉安上次的见面所写的六七小节诗,却加深了恶劣的印象。那是些社交诗,巧妙精美,他把它叫做《手相家》。他朗诵完毕,却没有见到妹妹脸上有高兴的表情出现,不禁感到吃惊。相反,妹妹的眼睛却盯住了她的未婚夫。马丁跟随她的目光看去,却在那位重要人物歪扭的脸上看见了阴沉、慢怒的不以为然的神气。这事过去了,客人很早就离开了,马丁也把它全忘了。不过,他一时总觉得奇怪,即使是工人阶级的妇女,别人为她写诗,能有什么叫她不得意、不高兴的呢?

几天以后,茉莉安又来看他,这回是一个人来的。他倒是开门见山,没有浪费时间就痛苦地责备起他的行为来。

“怎么啦,茉莉安,”他也责备她,“你说话那样子好像为你的亲人,至少是为你哥哥感到丢脸似的。”

“我的确感到丢脸。”她爆发了出来。

马丁在她的眼里看到了屈辱的泪水,感到莫名其妙。可无论那是什么情绪,却是真实的。

“可是茉莉安,我为我的亲妹妹写诗,赫尔文凭什么嫉妒呀?”

“他不是嫉妒,”她抽抽搭搭地哭了起来,“他说那诗不正经,下——流。”

马丁低吹了一声长长的口哨,表示难以置信,回过神来之后,又读了读《手相家》的复写稿。

“我可看不出诗里有什么下流之处,”他终于说,把稿子递给了她。“你自己看看,再告诉我你觉得是什么地方下流——他用的是这个词吧。”

“那是他说的,他总该知道,”妹妹回答,带着厌恶的表情一挥手,推开了稿子。“他说你应该把它撕掉。他说,他不要这样的老婆,叫人写这样的话,还要去让人家读。他说那太丢脸,他不能忍受。”

“听着,茉莉安,他这是胡说八道。”马丁刚开口,随即改变了主意。

他看见了眼前这个伤心的姑娘,他明白要说服她和她的丈夫是不可能的。尽管事情整个儿地荒唐可笑,他仍然决定投降。

“好了好了,”他宣布,把手稿撕成了五六片,扔进了字纸篓。

他心里别有安慰,他知道那时他的打字稿已经躺在纽约一家杂志社的办公室里。这是茉莉安和她的丈夫都不会知道的。而且,即使那无害的诗发表了,也不会妨害他自己、茉莉安夫妇或任何人。

茉莉安向字纸篓伸了伸手,却忍住了。

“我可以吗?”她请求。

他点了点头。她把那些手稿破片收拾起来,塞进了短衫口袋——那是她任务完成的物证。他沉思地望着她。她叫他想起了丽齐·康诺利,虽然茉莉安没有他只见过两面的那个工人阶级姑娘那么火热、耀眼、精力充沛,但她们的服装和姿态是一样的,她们是一对。他又设想若是这两个姑娘之一在莫尔斯太太的厅堂里出现,又会怎么样。这一想,他又不禁心里一乐,笑了起来。笑意淡去,他又感到了孤独。他的这个妹妹和莫尔斯太太家的厅堂是他生命旅途上的两个里程碑。他已经把两者都扔到了身后。他深情地环视着他的那几本书。那是他现在仅有的志同道合者了。

“啊,什么?”他吃了一惊,问道。

茉莉安把她的问题再说了一遍。

“我为什么不去干活?”他有心没肠地笑了起来。“你的那位赫尔曼教训了你吧。”

她摇摇头。

“别撒谎。”他命令道,她点了点头,承认了他的判断。

“好了,你告诉你那位赫尔曼,还是多为自己的事操点心吧。我为他的女朋友写诗可以算得是他的事,但对此外的问题他是没有发言权的。明白了么?”

“你说我想当作家是办不到的么,呢?”他继续说,“你认为我不行么?——认为我倒了霉,给家庭丢了脸,是么?”

“我认为你若是有了工作就会好得多,”她理直气壮地说,他明白那话是出于至诚。“赫尔曼说——”

“滚你耶赫尔曼的蛋吧!”他叫了起来,态度却挺好,“我想知道你们什么时候结婚。还有,请征求征求你那位赫尔曼的意见,可否委屈地同意你接受我一个礼物。”

妹妹离开之后他考虑了一下这事,不禁一再苦笑。他看见妹妹和她的未婚夫、工人阶级的全部成员、还有露丝那阶级的全部成员,人人都按照自己渺小的公式过着自己的狭隘生活——他们是过着集体生活的群居动物,他们用彼此的舆论塑造着彼此的生活。他们受到那些奴役着他们的幼稚公式的控制,都不再是单个的个人,也都过不到真正的生活。马丁把他们像幽灵队伍一样召唤到了自己面前。和巴特勒先生手牵着手的是伯纳德·希金波坦;和查理·哈扑古德胜贴着脸的是赫尔曼·冯·史密特。他把他们一个一个,一对一对作了评判,然后全部打发掉。他用书本上学来的智慧和道德标准对他们作了评判,然后茫然地问道:那些伟大的灵魂、伟大的人到哪里去了?他在响应他幻觉的号召来到他小屋里的轻浮、粗野、愚昧的聪明人中寻找,一个也没有找到。他厌恶这群人,女巫喀耳刻也一定像他一样厌恶着她那群猪的。等到他把最后一个幼象都赶走,觉得自己已是单独一人时,却来了一个迟到者,这人不期而至,是个不速之客。马丁望着他,看见了那硬檐帽,方襟双排扣短外衣和大摇大摆的肩头,他看见了那个流氓,当年的他。

“你也和这些人是一路货色,小年青,”马丁冷笑说,“你那道德和知识水平当初也跟他们一模一样。你并不按照自己的本意去思想和行动。你的思想和你的衣服一样,都是预先做好的。大家的赞许规定了你的行为。你是你那帮人的头头,因为别人说你有种,为你喝彩。你打架,你指挥别人,并不是因为你喜欢那样做——你知道实际上你讨厌那样做——而是因为别人拍你的肩膀表示赞许。你打垮了干酪脸是因为你不肯认输。而你不肯认输则一部分是因为你好勇斗狠,一部分是因为你相信着你身边的人相信的东西,认为男子汉的本领就在敢于残酷凶狠地伤害和折磨别人的肉体。哼,兔意于,你甚至抢走伙伴的女朋友,并不因为你想要那些姑娘,而只是因为你身边的人在骨髓里存在的就是野蛮的公马和雄海豹的本能,而你的道德规范又由他们决定。好了,那样的年代过去了,你现在对它是怎么看的?”

转瞬之间那幻影改变了,好像作出了回答。硬檐帽和方襟短外衣不见了,为较为平和的装束所代替。脸上的蛮横之气,眼里的粗野之光也不见了;因为受到熏陶磨练,脸上闪出了心灵跟美和知识契合无间的光芒。那幻影非常像他现在的自己。他打量着幻影,看见了那映照着幻影的台灯和灯光照耀的书本。他瞥了一眼那书名,读道:《美的科学》,然后便进入幻影,挑亮台灯,读起《美的科学》来。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

゛臉紅紅....

ZxID:704295


等级: 内阁元老
把每一次都当作是最后一次。
举报 只看该作者 28楼  发表于: 2013-11-27 0
。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

CHAPTER  28


But success had lost Martin's address, and her messengers no longer came to his door. For twenty-five days, working Sundays and holidays, he toiled on "The Shame of the Sun," a long essay of some thirty thousand words. It was a deliberate attack on the mysticism of the Maeterlinck school - an attack from the citadel of positive science upon the wonder-dreamers, but an attack nevertheless that retained much of beauty and wonder of the sort compatible with ascertained fact. It was a little later that he followed up the attack with two short essays, "The Wonder-Dreamers" and "The Yardstick of the Ego." And on essays, long and short, he began to pay the travelling expenses from magazine to magazine.




During the twenty-five days spent on "The Shame of the Sun," he sold hack-work to the extent of six dollars and fifty cents. A joke had brought in fifty cents, and a second one, sold to a high- grade comic weekly, had fetched a dollar. Then two humorous poems had earned two dollars and three dollars respectively. As a result, having exhausted his credit with the tradesmen (though he had increased his credit with the grocer to five dollars), his wheel and suit of clothes went back to the pawnbroker. The type- writer people were again clamoring for money, insistently pointing out that according to the agreement rent was to be paid strictly in advance.




Encouraged by his several small sales, Martin went back to hack- work. Perhaps there was a living in it, after all. Stored away under his table were the twenty storiettes which had been rejected by the newspaper short-story syndicate. He read them over in order to find out how not to write newspaper storiettes, and so doing, reasoned out the perfect formula. He found that the newspaper storiette should never be tragic, should never end unhappily, and should never contain beauty of language, subtlety of thought, nor real delicacy of sentiment. Sentiment it must contain, plenty of it, pure and noble, of the sort that in his own early youth had brought his applause from "nigger heaven" - the "For-God-my- country-and-the-Czar" and "I-may-be-poor-but-I-am-honest" brand of sentiment.




Having learned such precautions, Martin consulted "The Duchess" for tone, and proceeded to mix according to formula. The formula consists of three parts: (1) a pair of lovers are jarred apart; (2) by some deed or event they are reunited; (3) marriage bells. The third part was an unvarying quantity, but the first and second parts could be varied an infinite number of times. Thus, the pair of lovers could be jarred apart by misunderstood motives, by accident of fate, by jealous rivals, by irate parents, by crafty guardians, by scheming relatives, and so forth and so forth; they could be reunited by a brave deed of the man lover, by a similar deed of the woman lover, by change of heart in one lover or the other, by forced confession of crafty guardian, scheming relative, or jealous rival, by voluntary confession of same, by discovery of some unguessed secret, by lover storming girl's heart, by lover making long and noble self-sacrifice, and so on, endlessly. It was very fetching to make the girl propose in the course of being reunited, and Martin discovered, bit by bit, other decidedly piquant and fetching ruses. But marriage bells at the end was the one thing he could take no liberties with; though the heavens rolled up as a scroll and the stars fell, the wedding bells must go on ringing just the same. In quantity, the formula prescribed twelve hundred words minimum dose, fifteen hundred words maximum dose.




Before he got very far along in the art of the storiette, Martin worked out half a dozen stock forms, which he always consulted when constructing storiettes. These forms were like the cunning tables used by mathematicians, which may be entered from top, bottom, right, and left, which entrances consist of scores of lines and 
dozens of columns, and from which may be drawn, without reasoning or thinking, thousands of different conclusions, all unchallengably precise and true. Thus, in the course of half an hour with his forms, Martin could frame up a dozen or so storiettes, which he put aside and filled in at his convenience. He found that he could fill one in, after a day of serious work, in the hour before going to bed. As he later confessed to Ruth, he could almost do it in his sleep. The real work was in constructing the frames, and that was merely mechanical.




He had no doubt whatever of the efficacy of his formula, and for once he knew the editorial mind when he said positively to himself that the first two he sent off would bring checks. And checks they brought, for four dollars each, at the end of twelve days.




In the meantime he was making fresh and alarming discoveries concerning the magazines. Though the TRANSCONTINENTAL had published "The Ring of Bells," no check was forthcoming. Martin needed it, and he wrote for it. An evasive answer and a request for more of his work was all he received. He had gone hungry two days waiting for the reply, and it was then that he put his wheel back in pawn. He wrote regularly, twice a week, to the TRANSCONTINENTAL for his five dollars, though it was only semi- occasionally that he elicited a reply. He did not know that the TRANSCONTINENTAL had been staggering along precariously for years, that it was a fourth-rater, or tenth-rater, without standing, with a crazy circulation that partly rested on petty bullying and partly on patriotic appealing, and with advertisements that were scarcely more than charitable donations. Nor did he know that the TRANSCONTINENTAL was the sole livelihood of the editor and the business manager, and that they could wring their livelihood out of it only by moving to escape paying rent and by never paying any bill they could evade. Nor could he have guessed that the particular five dollars that belonged to him had been appropriated by the business manager for the painting of his house in Alameda, which painting he performed himself, on week-day afternoons, because he could not afford to pay union wages and because the first scab he had employed had had a ladder jerked out from under him and been sent to the hospital with a broken collar-bone.




The ten dollars for which Martin had sold "Treasure Hunters" to the Chicago newspaper did not come to hand. The article had been published, as he had ascertained at the file in the Central Reading-room, but no word could he get from the editor. His letters were ignored. To satisfy himself that they had been received, he registered several of them. It was nothing less than robbery, he concluded - a cold-blooded steal; while he starved, he was pilfered of his merchandise, of his goods, the sale of which was the sole way of getting bread to eat.




YOUTH AND AGE was a weekly, and it had published two-thirds of his twenty-one-thousand-word serial when it went out of business. With it went all hopes of getting his sixteen dollars.




To cap the situation, "The Pot," which he looked upon as one of the best things he had written, was lost to him. In despair, casting about frantically among the magazines, he had sent it to THE BILLOW, a society weekly in San Francisco. His chief reason for submitting it to that publication was that, having only to travel across the bay from Oakland, a quick decision could be reached. Two weeks later he was overjoyed to see, in the latest number on the news-stand, his story printed in full, illustrated, and in the place of honor. He went home with leaping pulse, wondering how much they would pay him for one of the best things he had done. Also, the celerity with which it had been accepted and published was a pleasant thought to him. That the editor had not informed him of the acceptance made the surprise more complete. After waiting a week, two weeks, and half a week longer, desperation conquered diffidence, and he wrote to the editor of THE BILLOW, suggesting that possibly through some negligence of the business manager his little account had been overlooked.




Even if it isn't more than five dollars, Martin thought to himself, it will buy enough beans and pea-soup to enable me to write half a dozen like it, and possibly as good.




Back came a cool letter from the editor that at least elicited Martin's admiration.




"We thank you," it ran, "for your excellent contribution. All of us in the office enjoyed it immensely, and, as you see, it was given the place of honor and immediate publication. We earnestly hope that you liked the illustrations.




"On rereading your letter it seems to us that you are laboring under the misapprehension that we pay for unsolicited manuscripts. This is not our custom, and of course yours was unsolicited. We assumed, naturally, when we received your story, that you understood the situation. We can only deeply regret this unfortunate misunderstanding, and assure you of our unfailing regard. Again, thanking you for your kind contribution, and hoping to receive more from you in the near future, we remain, etc."




There was also a postscript to the effect that though THE BILLOW carried no free-list, it took great pleasure in sending him a complimentary subscription for the ensuing year.




After that experience, Martin typed at the top of the first sheet of all his manuscripts: "Submitted at your usual rate."




Some day, he consoled himself, they will be submitted at MY usual rate.




He discovered in himself, at this period, a passion for perfection, under the sway of which he rewrote and polished "The Jostling Street," "The Wine of Life," "Joy," the "Sea Lyrics," and others of his earlier work. As of old, nineteen hours of labor a day was all too little to suit him. He wrote prodigiously, and he read prodigiously, forgetting in his toil the pangs caused by giving up his tobacco. Ruth's promised cure for the habit, flamboyantly labelled, he stowed away in the most inaccessible corner of his bureau. Especially during his stretches of famine he suffered from lack of the weed; but no matter how often he mastered the craving, it remained with him as strong as ever. He regarded it as the biggest thing he had ever achieved. Ruth's point of view was that he was doing no more than was right. She brought him the anti- tobacco remedy, purchased out of her glove money, and in a few days forgot all about it.




His machine-made storiettes, though he hated them and derided them, were successful. By means of them he redeemed all his pledges, paid most of his bills, and bought a new set of tires for his wheel. The storiettes at least kept the pot a-boiling and gave him time for ambitious work; while the one thing that upheld him was the forty dollars he had received from THE WHITE MOUSE. He anchored his faith to that, and was confident that the really first-class magazines would pay an unknown writer at least an equal rate, if not a better one. But the thing was, how to get into the first-class magazines. His best stories, essays, and poems went begging among them, and yet, each month, he read reams of dull, prosy, inartistic stuff between all their various covers. If only one editor, he sometimes thought, would descend from his high seat of pride to write me one cheering line! No matter if my work is unusual, no matter if it is unfit, for prudential reasons, for their pages, surely there must be some sparks in it, somewhere, a few, to warm them to some sort of appreciation. And thereupon he would get out one or another of his manuscripts, such as "Adventure," and read it over and over in a vain attempt to vindicate the editorial silence.




As the sweet California spring came on, his period of plenty came to an end. For several weeks he had been worried by a strange silence on the part of the newspaper storiette syndicate. Then, one day, came back to him through the mail ten of his immaculate machine-made storiettes. They were accompanied by a brief letter to the effect that the syndicate was overstocked, and that some months would elapse before it would be in the market again for manuscripts. Martin had even been extravagant m the strength of those on ten storiettes. Toward the last the syndicate had been paying him five dollars each for them and accepting every one he sent. So he had looked upon the ten as good as sold, and he had lived accordingly, on a basis of fifty dollars in the bank. So it was that he entered abruptly upon a lean period, wherein he continued selling his earlier efforts to publications that would not pay and submitting his later work to magazines that would not buy. Also, he resumed his trips to the pawn-broker down in Oakland. A few jokes and snatches of humorous verse, sold to the New York weeklies, made existence barely possible for him. It was at this time that he wrote letters of inquiry to the several great monthly and quarterly reviews, and learned in reply that they rarely considered unsolicited articles, and that most of their contents were written upon order by well-known specialists who were authorities in their various fields.
但是成功女神弄丢了马丁的地址,她的使者再也不上马丁的门了。他辛辛苦苦写了二十五天,完成了一篇专门攻击梅特林克的神秘主义学派的论文:《太阳的耻辱》,大约有三万字,假日和星期日也没有休息,从实证科学的高度抨击了奇迹梦想者,但并未波及与确切的科学事实并不矛盾的许多美感经验与奇迹。以后不久他又写了两篇短文:《奇迹梦想者》和《自我的尺度》,继续进行攻击。于是他又开始为论文付旅费,把它们往一家一家杂志寄出。

在写作《太阳的耻辱》的二十五天里,他的一些下锅之作又卖了六块五毛钱。一个笑话给了他五毛,另一篇投给一个高级滑稽周刊,赚来了一元,还有两首俏皮诗,分别得到两元和三元。结果是,在一些商家拒绝赊欠之后他的自行车和见客服装又回到当铺里去了,同时他在杂货铺的赊欠能力却提高到了五元。打字机店的人又在吵着要他交费了,说要严格照合同办事,要求预付租金。

几篇下锅之作卖掉,马丁受到鼓舞,又写起这类东西来。说不定可以靠它维持生活呢!报纸小故事供稿社退回的那二十来篇小故事还塞在桌子底下,他又翻出来读了一遍,想找出写作失败的原因。他从其中研究出了一个可靠的公式。他发现报纸小故事不能是悲剧,必须有大团圆结局;语言不必美,思想不必细致,感情也不必微妙,但一定要有感情,而且要丰富,要纯洁高贵,要是他少年时在剧院廉价座位上为之大喝其彩的那种感情——那种“为了上帝、祖国和国王”的感情,“穷归穷,要穷得志气”的感情。

有了这些必备知识,马丁又参考了《公爵夫人》杂志,学着它的调子,按照药方如法炮制,那药方包含三个部分:(1)一对情人生生被拆散;(2)两人因某一行为或事件而言归于好;(3)婚礼钟声。第三部分是一个不变量,第一、二部分可以变化无穷。比如两人拆散的原因可以是对对方动机的误解;可以是命运的意外;可以是妒忌;可以是父母的反对,监护人的狡猾,亲戚的干扰,如此等等。两人的团圆可以是由于男方的英勇行为;女方的英勇行为;一方的回心转意;狡猾的监护人或蓄意破坏的亲戚或情敌被迫承认错误;某种意外机密的发现;男方激动了女方的感情;情人做了长期的高贵的自我牺牲,或诸如此类,可以变化无穷。在双方团圆的过程中由女方追求更为动人,马丁一点一滴地发现了许多能吊人胃口、引人入胜的窍门;但结尾时的婚礼钟声是绝对不能更改的,哪怕天空像卷轴一样卷了起来,星星漫天散落,婚礼的钟声也必须响起。这个公式是写一千二百到一千五百字的小故事的诀窍。

研究小故事写作技巧后不久,马丁搞出了华打固定的模式,常常用来作编写参考。这些模式像巧妙的数学表格,可以从上面、下面。左面。右面切入,每道人口都有几十个横栏,几十个坚栏,从这些表格里不需要思考或推理就可以推导出千千万万不同的结果,每一个结果都准确可靠,经得起推敲。这样,使用了他的表格,不要半个小时便可以勾勒出几十个小故事的轮廓。他把它们放到一边,等那天严肃的工作结束,要上床了,闲空了,再填充完成。后来他还向露丝坦白,说他几乎连睡着了也能写出那样的东西来。真正的工作是设计轮廓;而设计轮廓是机械的工作。

他毫不怀疑他那公式的效率。这时他第一次明白了编辑的心理。他对自己肯定说他寄出去的头两篇作品准会带给他支票。果然,十二天之后支票来了,每篇四元。

与此同时他还对杂志有了惊人的新发现。《跨越大陆》虽然发表了他的《钟声激越》,却老不寄支票来。马丁需要钱,写信去问,回信却避而不谈,反而要他寄别的作品。因为等回信他已经饿了两天肚子,只好把自行车也送进了当铺。尽管回信很少,他每月仍固定发两封信,向《跨越大陆》讨那五块钱。他并不知道《跨越大陆》已经多年风雨飘摇,是个四流杂志,十流杂志,没有根基,发行量很不稳定,部分地靠小小的恐吓,部分地靠爱国情绪和几乎是施舍性的广告维持。他也不知道《跨越大陆》是编辑和经理的唯一饭碗,而他们挤出生活费用的办法就是搬家以逃避房租和躲掉一切躲得掉的开支。他也不知道他那五块钱早给经理挪用去油漆他在阿拉密达的房子了——那是利用上班日的下午自己油漆的,因为他付不起工会所规定的工资,也因为他雇佣的第一个不按规定要价的工人从梯子上掉下来,摔断了肩胛骨,送进了医院。

马丁·伊登卖给芝加哥新闻的《探宝者》的稿酬也没有到手。他在中央阅览室的文件里查明,作品已经发了,但是编辑一个字也没有写给他。他写信去问,仍然没有人理。为了肯定他的信已经收到,他把几封信寄了挂号。他的结论是:对方的做法简直就是抢劫——冷血的强盗。他在挨饿,而他们却还偷他的东西,抢他的货物——而卖货物换面包是他唯一的生路。

《青年与时代》是一个周刊,发表了他那二万一千字的连载故事的三分之二便倒闭了,得到那十六块钱的希望也就随之破灭。

最糟糕的是,他自认为是最佳作品之一的《罐子》也失掉了。原来他在绝望中,气急败坏地向各杂志乱投递时,把它寄给了旧金山的社交周刊《波涛》。他那样寄,是因为从奥克兰只需要过了海湾就能到达,很快就可以得到回音。两周以后他却喜出望外地在报摊发现:他的作品全文刊载在那个杂志最新一期的显要位置,而且配了插图。他心里怦怦跳着回到家里,盘算着他这最好的作品能得到多少报酬。那作品接受很快,出版迅速,令他很高兴。编辑们连通知都没来得及便发表了,这份惊喜更让他踌躇满志。他等待了一周,两周,又等待了半周,铤而走险战胜了胆小畏怯,他给《波涛》的编辑写了一封信,暗示说也许业务经理出于大意,把他那笔帐忽略了。

他想,即使不到五块钱,也还能买到足够的黄豆和豌豆熬汤,让他再写出六七篇那样的作品,说不定跟那一篇同样好呢。

编辑回了一封冷冰冰的信,可它至少也能令马丁佩服。

那信说:“尊稿早收到。谨谢赐稿,我部同人对该稿皆至为欣赏,并立即以显要地位刊登,想早奉清览。其插图谅能邀先生青睐。

“拜读来翰,先生似有所误会,以为我处对未约写之稿亦付稿酬。按,我处实无此规定,而尊稿显然未经约写,此事收稿时以为先生所素知也。对此不幸误会,同仁等深以为憾,谨对先生再申敬佩之忱,并致谢意。短期内如能再赐大作则更幸甚,专此奉复……”

下面还有一则附言,说《波涛》虽不赠阅,仍很乐意免费赠送一年。

有了那次经验,马丁便在他每一篇手稿的第一页上注明:“请按贵刊常规付酬。”

有时他自我安慰说:总有一天会按我的常规付酬的。

这个阶段他发现自己有了一种追求完美的热情。在那种情绪支配之下,他修改了、润色了他早期写作的《扰攘的街道》、《生命之酒》、《欢乐》、《海上抒情诗》和一些别的作品。他仍然跟过去一样,不要命地写作和读书;一天工作十九小时还嫌不够;在百忙之中连戒烟的痛苦也忘掉了。露丝带来的包装花哨的戒烟药被他塞到了抽屉最偏僻的角落里。在饥饿的时候,他尤其想抽烟,想得难受;无论多少次忍住烟瘾,那瘾总跟过去一样,十分强烈。他把戒烟认为是他最大的成就,可露丝却只觉得他不过做了件本该做的事而已。她给他带来了用自己的军用钱买的戒烟药,过两天就忘记了。

他那些机械制造的小故事倒很成功,尽管为他所不喜欢,也瞧不起。它们给他赎回了当掉的东西,偿付了大部分欠债,给他的自行车买了一副新轮胎,还使他免于断炊之虞,给了他时间写作雄心勃勃的作品。不过给了他信心的仍然是《白鼠》带给他的那四十元,那是他的信念之所寄托。他相信真正的第一流杂志是会给予一个无名作家同样的稿酬的,即使不能更多。问题在怎样打进第一流杂志。他最好的小说。论文和诗歌都在那些杂志间沿门乞讨;而他每个月都要在那些杂志不同的封面与封底之间读到无数篇沉闷、乏味、没有艺术性的玩意。他有时想:哪怕有一个编辑从他那傲慢的高位上给我写来一行鼓励的话也是好的。即使我的作品和别的作品不同,不够谨慎,不合需要,不能刊用,可其中总还有某些地方能闪出一星星火花,让他们温暖,博得他们一丝赞赏的吧!这样一想他又拿出自己的稿子,比如《冒险》,反复地研读起来,想探索出编辑们一直沉默的道理。

加利福尼亚州芬芳馥郁的春天到来了,可他的宽裕日子却结束了。很奇怪,报纸小故事供应社一连几个星期默不作声,令他十分烦恼。然后有一天邮局送回了他十篇机械制造的、天衣无缝的小故事。还附了一封简短的信,大意是供应社稿挤,几个月之内不会再接受外搞。可马丁却早已仗恃那十篇小故事过起了阔绰的生活。到最近为止,协会对他的稿子一直是每篇五元,来者不拒的,因此他便把那十个故事当作已经卖掉,仿佛在银行已有了五十元存款,并据此安排了生活。这样,他便于突然之间堕入了一段困顿,在这段时间里他老向那些并不付酬的报刊兜售他早期的作品,向那些并不想买他稿子的杂志兜售他近来的作品。同时他又开始到奥克兰上当铺了。卖给纽约几家周刊的几个笑话和几首俏皮诗使他得以苟延残喘。他在这个时期内向几家大型月刊和季刊发出了询问信,得到的回信是,它们很少考虑接受外搞,它们的大部分内容都是约稿,作者都是有名的专家,在各自领域里的权威。
  

。|。|。Martin Eden 。|。|。

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