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SCENE II. The same.
Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA
PRINCESS
Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings come thus plentifully in:
A lady wall'd about with diamonds!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
ROSALINE
Madame, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESS
Nothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
Writ o' both sides the leaf, margent and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
ROSALINE
That was the way to make his godhead wax,
For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
KATHARINE
Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
ROSALINE
You'll ne'er be friends with him; a' kill'd your sister.
KATHARINE
He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
And so she died: had she been light, like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha' been a grandam ere she died:
And so may you; for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINE
What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
KATHARINE
A light condition in a beauty dark.
ROSALINE
We need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHARINE
You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
Therefore I'll darkly end the argument.
ROSALINE
Look what you do, you do it still i' the dark.
KATHARINE
So do not you, for you are a light wench.
ROSALINE
Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.
KATHARINE
You weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me.
ROSALINE
Great reason; for 'past cure is still past care.'
PRINCESS
Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd.
But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
Who sent it? and what is it?
ROSALINE
I would you knew:
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great; be witness this.
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron:
The numbers true; and, were the numbering too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
PRINCESS
Any thing like?
ROSALINE
Much in the letters; nothing in the praise.
PRINCESS
Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
KATHARINE
Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
ROSALINE
'Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor,
My red dominical, my golden letter:
O, that your face were not so full of O's!
KATHARINE
A pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows.
PRINCESS
But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
KATHARINE
Madam, this glove.
PRINCESS
Did he not send you twain?
KATHARINE
Yes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
MARIA
This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS
I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA
Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
PRINCESS
We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE
They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:
O that I knew he were but in by the week!
How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
And wait the season and observe the times
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
And shape his service wholly to my hests
And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state
That he should be my fool and I his fate.
PRINCESS
None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
ROSALINE
The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
MARIA
Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
Since all the power thereof it doth apply
To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
PRINCESS
Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
Enter BOYET
BOYET
O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?
PRINCESS
Thy news Boyet?
BOYET
Prepare, madam, prepare!
Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:
Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
PRINCESS
Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
BOYET
Under the cool shade of a sycamore
I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
Toward that shade I might behold addrest
The king and his companions: warily
I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
And overheard what you shall overhear,
That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:
Action and accent did they teach him there;
'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'
And ever and anon they made a doubt
Presence majestical would put him out,
'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;
Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;
I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'
With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,
Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore
A better speech was never spoke before;
Another, with his finger and his thumb,
Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'
The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'
The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.
PRINCESS
But what, but what, come they to visit us?
BOYET
They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.
Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
And every one his love-feat will advance
Unto his several mistress, which they'll know
By favours several which they did bestow.
PRINCESS
And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;
For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;
And not a man of them shall have the grace,
Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
And then the king will court thee for his dear;
Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
And change your favours too; so shall your loves
Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
ROSALINE
Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
KATHARINE
But in this changing what is your intent?
PRINCESS
The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
They do it but in mocking merriment;
And mock for mock is only my intent.
Their several counsels they unbosom shall
To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal
Upon the next occasion that we meet,
With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
ROSALINE
But shall we dance, if they desire to't?
PRINCESS
No, to the death, we will not move a foot;
Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,
But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.
BOYET
Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
And quite divorce his memory from his part.
PRINCESS
Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
Trumpets sound within
BOYET
The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.
The Ladies mask
Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked
MOTH
All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!--
BOYET
Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
MOTH
A holy parcel of the fairest dames.
The Ladies turn their backs to him
That ever turn'd their--backs--to mortal views!
BIRON
[Aside to MOTH] Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
MOTH
That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views!--Out--
BOYET
True; out indeed.
MOTH
Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
Not to behold--
BIRON
[Aside to MOTH] Once to behold, rogue.
MOTH
Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
--with your sun-beamed eyes--
BOYET
They will not answer to that epithet;
You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.'
MOTH
They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
BIRON
Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue!
Exit MOTH
ROSALINE
What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet:
If they do speak our language, 'tis our will:
That some plain man recount their purposes
Know what they would.
BOYET
What would you with the princess?
BIRON
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE
What would they, say they?
BOYET
Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
ROSALINE
Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
BOYET
She says, you have it, and you may be gone.
FERDINAND
Say to her, we have measured many miles
To tread a measure with her on this grass.
BOYET
They say, that they have measured many a mile
To tread a measure with you on this grass.
ROSALINE
It is not so. Ask them how many inches
Is in one mile: if they have measured many,
The measure then of one is easily told.
BOYET
If to come hither you have measured miles,
And many miles, the princess bids you tell
How many inches doth fill up one mile.
BIRON
Tell her, we measure them by weary steps.
BOYET
She hears herself.
ROSALINE
How many weary steps,
Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
Are number'd in the travel of one mile?
BIRON
We number nothing that we spend for you:
Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
That we may do it still without accompt.
Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
That we, like savages, may worship it.
ROSALINE
My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
FERDINAND
Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
ROSALINE
O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
FERDINAND
Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange.
ROSALINE
Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
Music plays
Not yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon.
FERDINAND
Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
ROSALINE
You took the moon at full, but now she's changed.
FERDINAND
Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.
ROSALINE
Our ears vouchsafe it.
FERDINAND
But your legs should do it.
ROSALINE
Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance.
FERDINAND
Why take we hands, then?
ROSALINE
Only to part friends:
Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
FERDINAND
More measure of this measure; be not nice.
ROSALINE
We can afford no more at such a price.
FERDINAND
Prize you yourselves: what buys your company?
ROSALINE
Your absence only.
FERDINAND
That can never be.
ROSALINE
Then cannot we be bought: and so, adieu;
Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
FERDINAND
If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat.
ROSALINE
In private, then.
FERDINAND
I am best pleased with that.
They converse apart
BIRON
White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
PRINCESS
Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three.
BIRON
Nay then, two treys, and if you grow so nice,
Metheglin, wort, and malmsey: well run, dice!
There's half-a-dozen sweets.
PRINCESS
Seventh sweet, adieu:
Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.
BIRON
One word in secret.
PRINCESS
Let it not be sweet.
BIRON
Thou grievest my gall.
PRINCESS
Gall! bitter.
BIRON
Therefore meet.
They converse apart
DUMAIN
Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
MARIA
Name it.
DUMAIN
Fair lady,--
MARIA
Say you so? Fair lord,--
Take that for your fair lady.
DUMAIN
Please it you,
As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
They converse apart
KATHARINE
What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
LONGAVILLE
I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
KATHARINE
O for your reason! quickly, sir; I long.
LONGAVILLE
You have a double tongue within your mask,
And would afford my speechless vizard half.
KATHARINE
Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf?
LONGAVILLE
A calf, fair lady!
KATHARINE
No, a fair lord calf.
LONGAVILLE
Let's part the word.
KATHARINE
No, I'll not be your half
Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.
LONGAVILLE
Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks!
Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
KATHARINE
Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.
LONGAVILLE
One word in private with you, ere I die.
KATHARINE
Bleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry.
They converse apart
BOYET
The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
As is the razor's edge invisible,
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen,
Above the sense of sense; so sensible
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings
Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
ROSALINE
Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
BIRON
By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
FERDINAND
Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.
PRINCESS
Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.
Exeunt FERDINAND, Lords, and Blackamoors
Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at?
BOYET
Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
ROSALINE
Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
PRINCESS
O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces?
This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.
ROSALINE
O, they were all in lamentable cases!
The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
PRINCESS
Biron did swear himself out of all suit.
MARIA
Dumain was at my service, and his sword:
No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
KATHARINE
Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;
And trow you what he called me?
PRINCESS
Qualm, perhaps.
KATHARINE
Yes, in good faith.
PRINCESS
Go, sickness as thou art!
ROSALINE
Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
PRINCESS
And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me.
KATHARINE
And Longaville was for my service born.
MARIA
Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.
BOYET
Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
Immediately they will again be here
In their own shapes; for it can never be
They will digest this harsh indignity.
PRINCESS
Will they return?
BOYET
They will, they will, God knows,
And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
Therefore change favours; and, when they repair,
Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
PRINCESS
How blow? how blow? speak to be understood.
BOYET
Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud;
Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown,
Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
PRINCESS
Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do,
If they return in their own shapes to woo?
ROSALINE
Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,
Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised:
Let us complain to them what fools were here,
Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
And wonder what they were and to what end
Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd
And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
Should be presented at our tent to us.
BOYET
Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
PRINCESS
Whip to our tents, as roes run o'er land.
Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, and MARIA
Re-enter FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits
FERDINAND
Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess?
BOYET
Gone to her tent. Please it your majesty
Command me any service to her thither?
FERDINAND
That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
BOYET
I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
Exit
BIRON
This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease,
And utters it again when God doth please:
He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares
At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve;
Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve;
A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he
That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy;
This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,
That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
In honourable terms: nay, he can sing
A mean most meanly; and in ushering
Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet;
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet:
This is the flower that smiles on every one,
To show his teeth as white as whale's bone;
And consciences, that will not die in debt,
Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet.
FERDINAND
A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
That put Armado's page out of his part!
BIRON
See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now?
Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHARINE
FERDINAND
All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day!
PRINCESS
'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive.
FERDINAND
Construe my speeches better, if you may.
PRINCESS
Then wish me better; I will give you leave.
FERDINAND
We came to visit you, and purpose now
To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then.
PRINCESS
This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow:
Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men.
FERDINAND
Rebuke me not for that which you provoke:
The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
PRINCESS
You nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke;
For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
As the unsullied lily, I protest,
A world of torments though I should endure,
I would not yield to be your house's guest;
So much I hate a breaking cause to be
Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
FERDINAND
O, you have lived in desolation here,
Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
PRINCESS
Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear;
We have had pastimes here and pleasant game:
A mess of Russians left us but of late.
FERDINAND
How, madam! Russians!
PRINCESS
Ay, in truth, my lord;
Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
ROSALINE
Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord:
My lady, to the manner of the days,
In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
We four indeed confronted were with four
In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour,
And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord,
They did not bless us with one happy word.
I dare not call them fools; but this I think,
When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
BIRON
This jest is dry to me. Fair gentle sweet,
Your wit makes wise things foolish: when we greet,
With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye,
By light we lose light: your capacity
Is of that nature that to your huge store
Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
ROSALINE
This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye,--
BIRON
I am a fool, and full of poverty.
ROSALINE
But that you take what doth to you belong,
It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
BIRON
O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
ROSALINE
All the fool mine?
BIRON
I cannot give you less.
ROSALINE
Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
BIRON
Where? when? what vizard? why demand you this?
ROSALINE
There, then, that vizard; that superfluous case
That hid the worse and show'd the better face.
FERDINAND
We are descried; they'll mock us now downright.
DUMAIN
Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
PRINCESS
Amazed, my lord? why looks your highness sad?
ROSALINE
Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale?
Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
BIRON
Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
Can any face of brass hold longer out?
Here stand I
lady, dart thy skill at me;
Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout;
Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance;
Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit;
And I will wish thee never more to dance,
Nor never more in Russian habit wait.
O, never will I trust to speeches penn'd,
Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue,
Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song!
Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
Figures pedantical; these summer-flies
Have blown me full of maggot ostentation:
I do forswear them; and I here protest,
By this white glove;--how white the hand, God knows!--
Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd
In russet yeas and honest kersey noes:
And, to begin, wench,--so God help me, la!--
My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
ROSALINE
Sans sans, I pray you.
BIRON
Yet I have a trick
Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick;
I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
Write, 'Lord have mercy on us' on those three;
They are infected; in their hearts it lies;
They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes;
These lords are visited; you are not free,
For the Lord's tokens on you do I see.
PRINCESS
No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
BIRON
Our states are forfeit: seek not to undo us.
ROSALINE
It is not so; for how can this be true,
That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
BIRON
Peace! for I will not have to do with you.
ROSALINE
Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
BIRON
Speak for yourselves; my wit is at an end.
FERDINAND
Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
Some fair excuse.
PRINCESS
The fairest is confession.
Were not you here but even now disguised?
FERDINAND
Madam, I was.
PRINCESS
And were you well advised?
FERDINAND
I was, fair madam.
PRINCESS
When you then were here,
What did you whisper in your lady's ear?
FERDINAND
That more than all the world I did respect her.
PRINCESS
When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
FERDINAND
Upon mine honour, no.
PRINCESS
Peace, peace! forbear:
Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
FERDINAND
Despise me, when I break this oath of mine.
PRINCESS
I will: and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
ROSALINE
Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
As precious eyesight, and did value me
Above this world; adding thereto moreover
That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
PRINCESS
God give thee joy of him! the noble lord
Most honourably doth unhold his word.
FERDINAND
What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth,
I never swore this lady such an oath.
ROSALINE
By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain,
You gave me this: but take it, sir, again.
FERDINAND
My faith and this the princess I did give:
I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
PRINCESS
Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear;
And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
BIRON
Neither of either; I remit both twain.
I see the trick on't: here was a consent,
Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
To dash it like a Christmas comedy:
Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,
That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
To make my lady laugh when she's disposed,
Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
The ladies did change favours: and then we,
Following the signs, woo'd but the sign of she.
Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
We are again forsworn, in will and error.
Much upon this it is: and might not you
To BOYET
Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
Do not you know my lady's foot by the squier,
And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
You put our page out: go, you are allow'd;
Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye
Wounds like a leaden sword.
BOYET
Full merrily
Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.
BIRON
Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
Enter COSTARD
Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.
COSTARD
O Lord, sir, they would know
Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
BIRON
What, are there but three?
COSTARD
No, sir; but it is vara fine,
For every one pursents three.
BIRON
And three times thrice is nine.
COSTARD
Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so.
You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know
what we know:
I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,--
BIRON
Is not nine.
COSTARD
Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
BIRON
By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
COSTARD
O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living
by reckoning, sir.
BIRON
How much is it?
COSTARD
O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine
own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man
in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.
BIRON
Art thou one of the Worthies?
COSTARD
It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the
Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of
the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
BIRON
Go, bid them prepare.
COSTARD
We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take
some care.
Exit
FERDINAND
Biron, they will shame us: let them not approach.
BIRON
We are shame-proof, my lord: and tis some policy
To have one show worse than the king's and his company.
FERDINAND
I say they shall not come.
PRINCESS
Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now:
That sport best pleases that doth least know how:
Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
Dies in the zeal of that which it presents:
Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
When great things labouring perish in their birth.
BIRON
A right description of our sport, my lord.
Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal
sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
Converses apart with FERDINAND, and delivers him a paper
PRINCESS
Doth this man serve God?
BIRON
Why ask you?
PRINCESS
He speaks not like a man of God's making.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for,
I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
fantastical; too, too vain, too too vain: but we
will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.
I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
Exit
FERDINAND
Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He
presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the
Great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page,
Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus: And if
these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
These four will change habits, and present the other five.
BIRON
There is five in the first show.
FERDINAND
You are deceived; 'tis not so.
BIRON
The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool
and the boy:--
Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
FERDINAND
The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
Enter COSTARD, for Pompey
COSTARD
I Pompey am,--
BOYET
You lie, you are not he.
COSTARD
I Pompey am,--
BOYET
With libbard's head on knee.
BIRON
Well said, old mocker: I must needs be friends
with thee.
COSTARD
I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big--
DUMAIN
The Great.
COSTARD
It is, 'Great,' sir:--
Pompey surnamed the Great;
That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make
my foe to sweat:
And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France,
If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.
PRINCESS
Great thanks, great Pompey.
COSTARD
'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I
made a little fault in 'Great.'
BIRON
My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
Enter SIR NATHANIEL, for Alexander
SIR NATHANIEL
When in the world I lived, I was the world's
commander;
By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
conquering might:
My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander,--
BOYET
Your nose says, no, you are not for it stands too right.
BIRON
Your nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight.
PRINCESS
The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander.
SIR NATHANIEL
When in the world I lived, I was the world's
commander,--
BOYET
Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander.
BIRON
Pompey the Great,--
COSTARD
Your servant, and Costard.
BIRON
Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
COSTARD
[To SIR NATHANIEL] O, sir, you have overthrown
Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of
the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds
his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror,
and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander.
SIR NATHANIEL retires
There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an
honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
bowler: but, for Alisander,--alas, you see how
'tis,--a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies
a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.
Enter HOLOFERNES, for Judas; and MOTH, for Hercules
HOLOFERNES
Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canis;
And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
Ergo I come with this apology.
Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
MOTH retires
Judas I am,--
DUMAIN
A Judas!
HOLOFERNES
Not Iscariot, sir.
Judas I am, ycliped Maccabaeus.
DUMAIN
Judas Maccabaeus clipt is plain Judas.
BIRON
A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?
HOLOFERNES
Judas I am,--
DUMAIN
The more shame for you, Judas.
HOLOFERNES
What mean you, sir?
BOYET
To make Judas hang himself.
HOLOFERNES
Begin, sir; you are my elder.
BIRON
Well followed: Judas was hanged on an elder.
HOLOFERNES
I will not be put out of countenance.
BIRON
Because thou hast no face.
HOLOFERNES
What is this?
BOYET
A cittern-head.
DUMAIN
The head of a bodkin.
BIRON
A Death's face in a ring.
LONGAVILLE
The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
BOYET
The pommel of Caesar's falchion.
DUMAIN
The carved-bone face on a flask.
BIRON
Saint George's half-cheek in a brooch.
DUMAIN
Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
BIRON
Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
And now forward; for we have put thee in countenance.
HOLOFERNES
You have put me out of countenance.
BIRON
False; we have given thee faces.
HOLOFERNES
But you have out-faced them all.
BIRON
An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
BOYET
Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.
And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay?
DUMAIN
For the latter end of his name.
BIRON
For the ass to the Jude; give it him:--Jud-as, away!
HOLOFERNES
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
BOYET
A light for Monsieur Judas! it grows dark, he may stumble.
HOLOFERNES retires
PRINCESS
Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, for Hector
BIRON
Hide thy head, Achilles: here comes Hector in arms.
DUMAIN
Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
FERDINAND
Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
BOYET
But is this Hector?
FERDINAND
I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
LONGAVILLE
His leg is too big for Hector's.
DUMAIN
More calf, certain.
BOYET
No; he is best endued in the small.
BIRON
This cannot be Hector.
DUMAIN
He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
Gave Hector a gift,--
DUMAIN
A gilt nutmeg.
BIRON
A lemon.
LONGAVILLE
Stuck with cloves.
DUMAIN
No, cloven.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Peace!--
The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty
Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
A man so breathed, that certain he would fight; yea
From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
I am that flower,--
DUMAIN
That mint.
LONGAVILLE
That columbine.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
LONGAVILLE
I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
DUMAIN
Ay, and Hector's a greyhound.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks,
beat not the bones of the buried: when he breathed,
he was a man. But I will forward with my device.
To the PRINCESS
Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense of hearing.
PRINCESS
Speak, brave Hector: we are much delighted.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper.
BOYET
[Aside to DUMAIN] Loves her by the foot,--
DUMAIN
[Aside to BOYET] He may not by the yard.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,--
COSTARD
The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she
is two months on her way.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
What meanest thou?
COSTARD
Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor
wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in
her belly already: tis yours.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt
die.
COSTARD
Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is
quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by
him.
DUMAIN
Most rare Pompey!
BOYET
Renowned Pompey!
BIRON
Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey!
Pompey the Huge!
DUMAIN
Hector trembles.
BIRON
Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! stir them
on! stir them on!
DUMAIN
Hector will challenge him.
BIRON
Ay, if a' have no man's blood in's belly than will
sup a flea.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
By the north pole, I do challenge thee.
COSTARD
I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man:
I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you,
let me borrow my arms again.
DUMAIN
Room for the incensed Worthies!
COSTARD
I'll do it in my shirt.
DUMAIN
Most resolute Pompey!
MOTH
Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you
not see Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean
you? You will lose your reputation.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat
in my shirt.
DUMAIN
You may not deny it: Pompey hath made the challenge.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
BIRON
What reason have you for't?
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go
woolward for penance.
BOYET
True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of
linen: since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none but
a dishclout of Jaquenetta's, and that a' wears next
his heart for a favour.
Enter MERCADE
MERCADE
God save you, madam!
PRINCESS
Welcome, Mercade;
But that thou interrupt'st our merriment.
MERCADE
I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring
Is heavy in my tongue. The king your father--
PRINCESS
Dead, for my life!
MERCADE
Even so; my tale is told.
BIRON
Worthies, away! the scene begins to cloud.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have
seen the day of wrong through the little hole of
discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
Exeunt Worthies
FERDINAND
How fares your majesty?
PRINCESS
Boyet, prepare; I will away tonight.
FERDINAND
Madam, not so; I do beseech you, stay.
PRINCESS
Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,
For all your fair endeavors; and entreat,
Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
The liberal opposition of our spirits,
If over-boldly we have borne ourselves
In the converse of breath: your gentleness
Was guilty of it. Farewell worthy lord!
A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue:
Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
For my great suit so easily obtain'd.
FERDINAND
The extreme parts of time extremely forms
All causes to the purpose of his speed,
And often at his very loose decides
That which long process could not arbitrate:
And though the mourning brow of progeny
Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
The holy suit which fain it would convince,
Yet, since love's argument was first on foot,
Let not the cloud of sorrow justle it
From what it purposed; since, to wail friends lost
Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
PRINCESS
I understand you not: my griefs are double.
BIRON
Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;
And by these badges understand the king.
For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
Play'd foul play with our oaths: your beauty, ladies,
Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours
Even to the opposed end of our intents:
And what in us hath seem'd ridiculous,--
As love is full of unbefitting strains,
All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
Form'd by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,
Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
To every varied object in his glance:
Which parti-coated presence of loose love
Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
Our love being yours, the error that love makes
Is likewise yours: we to ourselves prove false,
By being once false for ever to be true
To those that make us both,--fair ladies, you:
And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
PRINCESS
We have received your letters full of love;
Your favours, the ambassadors of love;
And, in our maiden council, rated them
At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy,
As bombast and as lining to the time:
But more devout than this in our respects
Have we not been; and therefore met your loves
In their own fashion, like a merriment.
DUMAIN
Our letters, madam, show'd much more than jest.
LONGAVILLE
So did our looks.
ROSALINE
We did not quote them so.
FERDINAND
Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
Grant us your loves.
PRINCESS
A time, methinks, too short
To make a world-without-end bargain in.
No, no, my lord, your grace is perjured much,
Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:
If for my love, as there is no such cause,
You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed
To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
Remote from all the pleasures of the world;
There stay until the twelve celestial signs
Have brought about the annual reckoning.
If this austere insociable life
Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds
Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
But that it bear this trial and last love;
Then, at the expiration of the year,
Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine
I will be thine; and till that instant shut
My woeful self up in a mourning house,
Raining the tears of lamentation
For the remembrance of my father's death.
If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
Neither entitled in the other's heart.
FERDINAND
If this, or more than this, I would deny,
To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast.
DUMAIN
But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife?
KATHARINE
A beard, fair health, and honesty;
With three-fold love I wish you all these three.
DUMAIN
O, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife?
KATHARINE
Not so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day
I'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say:
Come when the king doth to my lady come;
Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some.
DUMAIN
I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
KATHARINE
Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.
LONGAVILLE
What says Maria?
MARIA
At the twelvemonth's end
I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
LONGAVILLE
I'll stay with patience; but the time is long.
MARIA
The liker you; few taller are so young.
BIRON
Studies my lady? mistress, look on me;
Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
What humble suit attends thy answer there:
Impose some service on me for thy love.
ROSALINE
Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron,
Before I saw you; and the world's large tongue
Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
Which you on all estates will execute
That lie within the mercy of your wit.
To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
And therewithal to win me, if you please,
Without the which I am not to be won,
You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
Visit the speechless sick and still converse
With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
With all the fierce endeavor of your wit
To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
BIRON
To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
It cannot be; it is impossible:
Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
ROSALINE
Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,
Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools:
A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears,
Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans,
Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
And I will have you and that fault withal;
But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
And I shall find you empty of that fault,
Right joyful of your reformation.
BIRON
A twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall,
I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
PRINCESS
[To FERDINAND] Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave.
FERDINAND
No, madam; we will bring you on your way.
BIRON
Our wooing doth not end like an old play;
Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy
Might well have made our sport a comedy.
FERDINAND
Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
And then 'twill end.
BIRON
That's too long for a play.
Re-enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,--
PRINCESS
Was not that Hector?
DUMAIN
The worthy knight of Troy.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am
a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
plough for her sweet love three years. But, most
esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
end of our show.
FERDINAND
Call them forth quickly; we will do so.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Holla! approach.
Re-enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, MOTH, COSTARD, and others
This side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring;
the one maintained by the owl, the other by the
cuckoo. Ver, begin.
THE SONG
SPRING.
When daisies pied and violets blue
And lady-smocks all silver-white
And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
Do paint the meadows with delight,
The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear!
When shepherds pipe on oaten straws
And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks,
When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,
And maidens bleach their summer smocks
The cuckoo then, on every tree,
Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
Unpleasing to a married ear!
WINTER.
When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
And Tom bears logs into the hall
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul,
Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
Tu-who, a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
When all aloud the wind doth blow
And coughing drowns the parson's saw
And birds sit brooding in the snow
And Marian's nose looks red and raw,
When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
Tu-who, a merry note,
While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of
Apollo. You that way: we this way.
Exeunt第二场 同前。公主帐幕前
公主、凯瑟琳、罗瑟琳及玛利娅同上。
公主 好人儿们， 要是每天有这么多的礼物源源而来，我们在回国以前，一定
可以变成巨富了。一个被金刚钻包围的女郎！瞧这就是那多情的国王给我的。
罗瑟琳 公主，没有别的东西跟着它一起送来吗？
公主 没有别的东！ 怎么没有？他用塞满了爱情的诗句密密地写在一张纸的两
面，连边上都不留出一点空白；他恨不得用丘匹德的名字把它封起来呢。
罗瑟琳 只有这样才能使这位小神仙老起来；他已经做了五千年的孩子了。
凯瑟琳 嗯，他也是个倒霉的催命鬼。
罗瑟琳 你再也不会跟他要好，因为他杀死了你的姊姊。
凯瑟琳 他使她悲哀忧闷； 她就是这样死的。要是她也像你一样轻狂，有你这
样一副风流活泼的性情，她也许会做了祖母才死。你大概也有做祖母的一天，因为
无忧无虑的人是容易长寿的。
罗瑟琳 你说我轻狂，耗子，可是你的话没说清楚。
凯瑟琳 皮肤黑的人决不会稳重。
罗瑟琳 你的脑子才真是漆黑一团。
凯瑟琳 既然你气得黑白不分，我这番话也就只好糊涂了之。
罗瑟琳 当心你在黑里别作什么糊涂事。
凯瑟琳 你不用等到黑，因为你本性就轻狂。
罗瑟琳 说轻我承认；至于你那一身肉有多重，我没称过。
凯瑟琳 你没称过我？这不是对我不关心吗？
罗瑟琳 正是；俗话说得好：“没救的事少操心。”
公主 两人的嘴都够利害， 堪称旗鼓相当。可是罗瑟琳，你不是也收到一件礼
物吗？是谁送来的？是什么东西？
罗瑟琳 我希望您知道， 只要我的脸也像您一样娇艳，我也可以收到像您的一
样贵重的礼物；瞧这个吧。嘿，我也有一首诗呢，谢谢俾隆；那音律倒是毫无错误；
要是那诗句也没有说错，我就是地上最美的女神；他把我跟两万个美人比较。啊！
他在这信里替我描下了一幅小像哩。
公主 像不像呢？
罗瑟琳 文字倒不错，赞美的辞句却用得很糟糕。
公主 像墨水一样美；比喻很恰当。
凯瑟琳 和楷书一样端正大方。
罗瑟琳 近墨者黑， 近朱者赤。你的脸色像日历上的星期日；你的头发像个金
字；但愿你一脸不生满了斑痣！
凯瑟琳 这种玩笑就是天花！会把所有的悍妇都染上！
公主（向凯瑟琳）可是漂亮的杜曼送给你什么东西？
凯瑟琳 公主，他给我这一只手套。
公主 他没有送你一双吗？
凯瑟琳 是的， 公主；而且他还写了一千行表明他爱情忠实的诗句，全然是一
大堆假惺惺的废话，非但拙劣不堪，而且无聊透顶。
玛利娅 这个， 还有这些珍珠，都是朗格维送给我的；他的信写得足足有半哩
路长。
公主 我完全同意。你心里不是希望这项链再长一些，这信再短一些吗？
玛利娅 正是，否则愿我这双手合拢了再也分不开来。
公主 我们都是聪明的女孩子，才会这样讥笑我们的爱人。
罗瑟琳 他们都是蠢透了的傻瓜， 才会出这样的代价来买我们的讥笑。我要在
我未去以前，把那个俾隆大大折磨一下。啊，要是我知道他在一星期内就会落下情
网！我一定要叫他摇尾乞怜，殷勤求爱；叫他静候时机，耐心等待；叫他呕尽才华，
写下无聊的诗句；叫他奉命驱驰，甘受诸般的辛苦：我尽管冷嘲热骂，他却是受宠
若惊；他做了我手中玩物，我变成他司命灾星。
公主 聪明人变成了痴愚， 是一条最容易上钩的游鱼；因为他凭恃才高学广，
看不见自己的狂妄。
罗瑟琳 中年人动了春心，比年轻的更一发难禁。
玛利娅 愚人的蠢事算不得希奇， 聪明人的蠢事才叫人笑痛肚皮；因为他用全
副的本领证明他自己的愚笨。
鲍益上。
公主 鲍益来了，他满脸都是高兴。
鲍益 啊！我笑死了。公主殿下呢？
公主 你有什么消息，鲍益？
鲍益 预备， 公主，预备！——武装起来，姑娘们，武装起来！大队人马要来
破坏你们的和平了。爱情用说辞做它的武器，乔装改扮，要来袭击你们了。集合你
们的智慧，布置你们的防御；否则像懦夫一样缩紧了头，赶快逃走吧。
公主 圣丘匹德呀！那些用言语来向我们挑战的是什么人？说，探子，说。
鲍益 在一株枫树的凉荫之下，我正想睡它半点钟的时间，忽然在树荫的对面，
我看见了国王和他的一群同伴；我就小小心心地溜进了一丛附近的树林，听听他们
说些什么话；原来他们打算过一会儿就化了装到这儿来呢。他们的先驱是一个刁钻
伶俐的童儿，他已经背熟了他们叫他传达的使命；他们就在那边教他动作的姿势和
说话的声调，“你必须这样说，你的身体必须站得这个样子。”他们又怕他当着贵
人的面前会吓得说不出话来；“因为，”那国王说，“你将要看见一位天使；可是
不用害怕，尽管放大胆子说。”那孩子却回答说，“天使又不是妖精；倘然她是一
个魔鬼，我才会怕她哩。”大家听了这句话，都笑起来，拍他的肩膀，那大胆的小
油嘴得到他们的夸奖，便格外大胆了。一个高兴地掀着他的肘子，咧开了嘴，发誓
说从来没有人说过一句比这更俏皮的话；一个翘起了手指嚷着，“嘿！不管结果如
何，我们一定要干一下；”一个边跳边嚷，“一切顺利；”还有一个踮起脚趾旋了
个身，一交跌在地上。于是大家全都在地上打起滚来，疯了似的笑个不停，笑得连
眼泪都淌下来了。
公主 可是，可是，他们要来访问我们吗？
鲍益 是的， 是的；照我猜想起来，他们都要扮成俄罗斯人的样子。他们的目
的是谈情求爱和跳舞；凭着他们赠送的礼物，认明各人恋爱的对象，倾吐自己倾慕
的衷诚。
公主 他们想要这样吗？ 我们倒要把这些情人们作弄一下。姑娘们，我们每一
个人都要套上脸罩，无论他们怎样请求，我们都不让他们瞧见我们的脸。拿着，罗
瑟琳，你把这一件礼物佩在身上，国王就会把你当作他心爱的人；你把这拿了去，
我的好人儿，再把你的给我，俾隆就会把我当作罗瑟琳了。你们两人也各人交换了
礼物，让你们的情人大家认错求爱的对象。
罗瑟琳 那么来，大家把礼物佩戴在最注目的地方。
凯瑟琳 可是这样交换了，您有什么目的呢？
公主 我的目的就是要使他们不能达到目的。 他们的用意不过是向我们开开玩
笑，所以我们也要开开他们的玩笑。他们现在向认错了的爱人吐露心曲，下回我们
用本来面目和他们相见的时候，便可以把他们尽情奚落。
罗瑟琳 可是假如他们要求我们跳舞，我们要不要陪他们跳呢？
公主 不， 我们死也不动一步。我们也不要理会他们预先写就的说辞，当来人
开口的时候，各人都把脸扭过去。
鲍益 嗳哟，说话的人遭到了这样的冷淡，一定会伤心得忘记了他的词句。
公主 那正是我的用意所在； 我相信只要那打头阵的受了没趣，别人都会失去
勇气。最有意味的戏谑是以谑攻谑，让那存心侮弄的自取其辱；且看他们碰了一鼻
子的灰，乘兴而来，败兴而归。（内吹喇叭声。）
鲍益 喇叭响了；戴上脸罩；跳舞的人来啦。（众女戴脸罩。）
众乐工扮黑人，毛子前行，国王、俾隆、朗格维及杜曼各扮俄罗斯人戴假面上。
毛子
万福，地上最富丽的美人们！
鲍益 只有黑缎子脸罩称不起富丽。
毛子
最娇艳的女郎的神圣之群，（众女转背）你们曼妙的——背影——为世人所瞻
仰！
俾隆“你们曼妙的容华”，混蛋，“你们曼妙的容华”。
毛子
你们曼妙的容华为世人所瞻仰！天——
鲍益 你听，急得叫天了。
毛子
天仙们啊，愿你们大发慈悲，闭上你们——
俾隆“睁开你们——”，混蛋！
毛子
睁开你们阳光普照的眼睛——阳光普照的眼睛——
鲍益 这样形容她们完全不对；应该说：“黑夜笼罩的眼睛。”
毛子 她们睬也不睬我，我念不下去了。
俾隆 这就是你的好记性吗？滚开，你这混蛋！（毛子下。）
罗瑟琳 这些异邦人到这儿来有什么事？ 鲍益，你去问问他们，要是他们会讲
我们的言语，就叫他们举出一个老老实实的人来说明他们的来意。你去问吧。
鲍益 你们来见公主有什么事？
俾隆 我们唯一的愿望，只是和平而善意的晋谒。
罗瑟琳 他们说他们有什么事？
鲍益 他们唯一的愿望，只是和平而善意的晋谒。
罗瑟琳 那么他们已经谒见过了；叫他们走吧。
鲍益 公主说，你们已经谒见过了，叫你们走吧。
国王 对她说， 我们为了希望在这草坪上和她跳一次舞，已经跋涉山川，用我
们的脚步丈量了不少的路程。
鲍益 他们说， 他们为了希望在这草坪上和您跳一次舞，已经跋涉山川，用他
们的脚步丈量了不少的路程。
罗瑟琳 没有的事。 问他们一哩路有多少吋；要是他们已经丈量过不少路程，
一哩路的吋数是很容易计算出来的。
鲍益 要是你们迢迢来此，已经丈量过不少路程，公主问你们一哩路有多少吋。
俾隆 告诉她我们是用疲乏的脚步丈量的。
鲍益 她已经听见了。
罗瑟琳 在你们所经过的许多疲乏的路程之中，走一哩路需要多少疲乏的脚步？
俾隆 我们从不计算我们为您所费的辛勤； 我们的忠心是无限的富有，不能用
数字估计的。愿您展现您脸上的阳光，让我们像一群野蛮人一样，可以向它顶礼膜
拜。
罗瑟琳 我的脸不过是一个月亮，而且是遮着乌云的。
国王 遮蔽着这样的明月， 那乌云是幸福的！皎洁的明月，和你的灿烂的众星
啊，愿你们扫去浮云，把你们的光明照射在我们的眼波之上。
罗瑟琳 愚妄的祈求者啊！ 你不要追寻镜里的空花，水中的明月；你应该请求
一些更重要的事物。
国王 那么请你陪我们跳一回舞。你叫我请求，这一个请求应该不算过分。
罗瑟琳 那么音乐， 奏起来！你要跳舞必须赶快。（奏乐）不！不跳了！我正
像月亮一般，一下子又有了更改。
国王 您不愿跳舞吗？怎么又突然走开了？
罗瑟琳 你刚才看见的是满月，现在她已经变了。
国王 可是她还是这一个月亮， 我还是这一个人。音乐在奏着，请给它一些动
作吧。
罗瑟琳 我们的耳朵在听着呢。
国王 可是您必须提起您的腿来。
罗瑟琳 既然你们都是些异邦人， 偶然来到这里，我们也不必过于拘谨；搀着
我的手，我们不跳舞了。
国王 那么为什么要搀手呢？
罗瑟琳 因为我们可以像朋友似的握手而别。 好人儿们，行个礼；跳舞已经完
了。
国王 再跳两步吧；不要这样吝啬。
罗瑟琳 凭着这样的代价，我们不能满足你们超过限度的要求。
国王 那么你们是有价格的吗？怎样的代价才可以买到你们伴舞的光荣？
罗瑟琳 唯一的代价是请你们离开这里。
国王 那是永远不可能的。
罗瑟琳 那么我们是买不到的；再会！
国王 要是您拒绝跳舞，让我们谈谈心怎么样？
罗瑟琳 那么找个僻静点儿的所在吧。
国王 那好极了。（二人趋一旁谈话。）
俾隆 玉手纤纤的姑娘，让我跟你谈一句甜甜的话儿。
公主 蜂蜜，牛乳，蔗糖，我已经说了三句了。
俾隆 你既然这样俏皮， 我也要回答你三句，百花露，麦芽汁，葡萄酒。好得
很，我们各人都掷了个三点。现在有六种甜啦。
公主 第七种甜，再会吧；您既然是个无赖的赌徒，我不要再跟您玩啦。
俾隆 让我悄悄地告诉你一句话。
公主 可不要是句甜甜的话儿。
俾隆 你不知道我心里多苦！
公主 和黄连一样苦。
俾隆 一点不错。（二人趋一旁谈话。）
杜曼 您愿意跟我交换一句话吗？
玛利娅 说吧。
杜曼 美貌的姑娘——
玛利娅 您这样说吗？“漂亮的先生”；把这句话交换您的“美貌的姑娘”吧。
杜曼 请您允许我跟您悄悄地说句话，我就向您告辞。（二人趋一旁谈话。）
凯瑟琳 怎么！您的假面上没有舌头吗？
朗格维 姑娘，我知道您这样问我的原因。
凯瑟琳 啊！把您的原因说出来；快些，先生；我很想听一听呢。
朗格维 在您的脸罩之内， 您有两条舌头，所以要想借一条给我那不会说话的
假面。
凯瑟琳 还是叫荷兰人借给你一条牛舌头吧。
朗格维 牛，美人！
凯瑟琳 不，牛先生。
朗格维 我们把这牛平分了吧。
凯瑟琳 不，我可不跟你配对儿。你一人全牵去吧；大了也许是头好牲口。
朗格维 看啊，你出语伤人，和牛没有两样。贞洁的女郎，请不要用角勾搭人！
凯瑟琳 你怕头上长角，最好在作牛犊子的时候就一命归天。
朗格维 让我在归天以前跟您悄悄地说句话吧。
凯瑟琳 那么轻轻地叫吧，小牛儿；屠夫在听着呢。（二人趋一旁谈话。）
鲍益 姑娘们一张尖刻的利嘴，
就像无形的剃刀般锋锐，
任是最纤细的秋毫微末，
碰着它免不了迎刃而折；
她们的想像驾起了羽翼，
最快的风比不上它迅疾。
罗瑟琳 别再说下去了，我的姑娘们；停止，停止。
俾隆 天哪，大家都被她们取笑得狼狈不堪！
国王 再会，疯狂的姑娘们，你们真是希有的刁钻。
公主 二十个再会， 我的冰冻的莫斯科人！（国王、众臣、乐工及侍从等下）
这些就是举世钦佩的聪明人吗？
鲍益 他们的聪明不过是蜡烛的微光，被你们可爱的气息一吹就吹熄了。
罗瑟琳 他们都有一点小小的才情，可是粗俗不堪。
公主 啊， 贫乏的智慧！身为国王，受到这样无情的揶揄！你们想他们今晚会
不会上吊？或者从此以后，不套假脸再也不敢见人？这放肆的俾隆今天丢尽了脸。
罗瑟琳 啊！ 他们全都狼狈万分。那国王因为想不出一句巧妙的答复，急得简
直要哭出来呢。
公主 俾隆发了无数的誓；他越是发誓，人家越是不相信他。
玛利娅 杜曼把他自己和他的剑呈献给我， 愿意为我服役；我说，“可惜你的
剑是没有锋的；”我的仆人立刻闭住了嘴。
凯瑟琳 朗格维大人说，我占据着他的心；你们猜他叫我什么？
公主 是不是他的心病？
凯瑟琳 正是。
公主 去，你这无药可治的恶症！
罗瑟琳 你们要不要知道？国王是我的信誓旦旦的爱人哩。
公主 伶俐的俾隆已经向我矢告他的忠诚。
凯瑟琳 朗格维愿意终身供我的驱策。
玛利娅 杜曼是我的，正像树皮长在树干上一般毫无疑问。
鲍益 公主和各位可爱的姑娘们， 听着：他们立刻就会用他们的本来面目再到
这儿来，因为他们决不能忍受这样刻毒的侮辱。
公主 他们还会回来吗？
鲍益 他们会来的， 他们会来的，上帝知道；虽然打跛了脚，他们也会高兴得
跳起来。所以把你们的礼物各还原主，等他们回来的时候，像芬芳的蔷薇一般在熏
风里开放吧。
公主 怎么开放？怎么开放？说得明白一些。
鲍益 美貌的姑娘们蒙着脸罩， 是一朵朵含苞待放的蔷薇；卸下脸罩，露出她
们娇媚的红颜，就像云中出现的天使，或是盈盈展瓣的鲜花。
公主 不要说这种哑谜似的话！ 要是他们用他们的本来面目再来向我们求爱，
我们应该怎么办呢？
罗瑟琳 好公主， 他们改头换面地来，我们已经把他们取笑过了；要是您愿意
采纳我的意见，他们明目张胆地来，我们还是要把他们取笑。让我们向他们诉苦，
说是刚才来了一群傻瓜，装扮做俄罗斯人的样子，穿着不三不四的服饰，不知道究
竟是些什么东西；他们凭着一股浮薄的腔调，一段恶劣的致辞和一副荒唐的形状，
到我们帐里来显露他们的丑态，不知究竟有些什么目的。
鲍益 姑娘们，进去吧；那些情人们就要来了。
公主 像一群小鹿似的， 跳进你们的帐里去吧。（公主、罗瑟琳、凯瑟琳、玛
利娅同下。）
国王、俾隆、朗格维及杜曼各穿原服重上。
国王 好先生，上帝保佑你！公主呢？
鲍益 进帐去了。请问陛下有没有什么谕旨，要我向她传达？
国王 请她允许我见见面，我有一句话要跟她谈谈。
鲍益 遵命；我知道她一定会允许您的，陛下。（下。）
俾隆 这家伙惯爱拾人牙慧， 就像鸽子啄食青豆，一碰到天赐的机会，就要卖
弄他的伶牙俐齿。他是个智慧的稗贩，宴会里、市集上，到处向人兜卖；我们这些
经营批发的，上帝知道，再也学不会他这一副油腔滑调。他是妇人的爱宠，娘儿们
见了他都要牵裳挽袖；要是他做了亚当，夏娃免不了被他勾引。他会扭捏作态，他
会吞吐其声；他会把她的手吻个不住，表示他礼貌的殷勤。他是文明的猴儿，他是
儒雅的绅士；他在赌博的时候，也不会用恶言怒骂他的骰子。不错，他还会唱歌，
唱的是中音，高不成，低不就；还惯会招待、看门。“好人儿”是妇女们给他的名
称；他走上楼梯，梯子也要吻他脚下的泥尘；他见了每一个人满脸生花，嘻开了那
鲸骨一样洁白的齿牙；谁只要一提起鲍益的名字，都知道他是位舌头上涂蜜的绅士。
国王 愿他舌头上长疮，这个混账；是他把毛子奚落得晕头转向！
鲍益前导，公主、罗瑟琳、玛利娅、凯瑟琳及侍从等重上。
俾隆 瞧， 他来了！礼貌啊，在这个人还没有把你表现出来以前，你是什么东
西？现在你又是什么东西？
国王 万福，亲爱的公主，愿你安好！
公主 听来似乎我目前的处境不妙。
国王 请你善意地解释我的言辞。
公主 你若是说得好，我并不吹毛求疵。
国王 我们今天专诚拜访的目的， 是要迎接你到我们宫廷里去盘桓盘桓，略尽
地主之谊，愿你不要推辞。
公主 这一块广场可以容留我， 它也必须替您保全您的誓言；上帝和我都不喜
欢背誓的人。
国王 不要责备我， 因为这不是我自己的过失；你的美目的魔力使我破坏了誓
言。
公主 你不该说美目， 应该说恶目；美的事物不会使人破坏誓言。凭着我那像
一尘不染的莲花一般纯洁的处女的贞操起誓，即使我必须忍受无穷尽的磨难，我也
不愿做您府上的客人；我不愿因为我的缘故，使您毁弃了立誓信守的神圣的盟约。
国王 啊！ 你冷冷清清地住在这儿不让人家看见，也没有人来看你，实在使我
感到莫大的歉仄。
公主 不， 陛下，我发誓您的话不符事实；我们在这儿并不缺少消遣娱乐，刚
才还有一队俄罗斯人来过，他们离去还不久哩。
国王 怎么，公主！俄罗斯人？
公主 是的，陛下；都是衣冠楚楚、神采轩昂、温文有礼的风流人物。
罗瑟琳 公主， 不要骗人。不是这样的，陛下；我家公主因为沾染了时尚，所
以会作这样过分的赞美。我们四个人刚才的确碰见四个穿着俄罗斯装束的人，他们
在这儿停留了一小时的时间，噜哩噜苏地讲了许多话；可是在那一小时之内，陛下，
他们不曾让我们听到一句有意思的话。我不敢骂他们呆子；可是我想，当他们口渴
的时候，呆子们一定很想喝一点水。
俾隆 这一句笑话在我听起来很是干燥。 温柔美貌的佳人，您的智慧使您把聪
明看成了愚蠢。当我们仰望着天上的火眼的时候，无论我们自己的眼睛多么明亮，
也会在耀目的金光之下失去它本来的光彩；您自己因为有了浩如烟海的才华，所以
在您看起来，当然聪明也会变成愚蠢，富有也会变成贫乏啦。
罗瑟琳 这可以证明您是聪明而富有的，因为在我的眼中——
俾隆 我是一个傻瓜，一个穷光蛋。
罗瑟琳 这个头衔倘不是本来属于你的，您就不该从我的舌头上夺去我的话。
俾隆 啊！我是您的，我所有的一切也都是您的。
罗瑟琳 这一个傻瓜整个儿是属于我的吗？
俾隆 我所给您的，不能更少于此了。
罗瑟琳 您本来套的是哪一张假面？
俾隆 哪儿？什么时候？什么假面？您为什么问我这个问题？
罗瑟琳 当地， 当时，就是那一张假面；您不是套着一具比您自己好看一些的
脸壳，遮掩了一副比它更难看的尊容吗？
国王 我们的秘密被她们发现了；她们现在一定要把我们取笑得体无完肤了。
杜曼 我们还是招认了，把这回事情当作一场笑话过去了吧。
公主 发呆了吗，陛下？陛下为什么这样不高兴？
罗瑟琳 嗳哟， 救命！按住他的额角！他要晕过去了。您为什么脸色发白？我
想大概因为从莫斯科来，多受了些海上的风浪吧。
俾隆 天上的星星因为我们发了伪誓， 所以把这样的灾祸降在我们头上。那一
张铁铸的厚脸能够恬不为意呢？——姑娘，我站在这儿，把你的舌箭唇熗向我投射，
用嘲笑把我伤害，用揶揄使我昏迷，用你锋锐的机智刺透我的愚昧，用你尖刻的思
想把我寸寸解剖吧；我再也不穿着俄罗斯人的服装，希望你陪我跳舞了。啊！从此
以后，我再也不信任那些预先拟就的说辞，他学童背书似的诉述我的情思；我再也
不套着面具访问我的恋人，像盲乐师奏乐似的用诗句求婚；那些绢一般柔滑、绸一
般细致的字句，三重的夸张，刻意雕琢的言语，还有那冬烘的辞藻像一群下卵的苍
蝇，让蛆一样的矜饰汩没了我的性灵，我从此要把这一切全都抛弃；凭着这洁白的
手套——那手儿有多么白，上帝知道！——我发誓要用土布般坚韧的“是”，粗毡
般质朴的“不”，把我恋慕的深情向你申说。让我现在开始，姑娘，——上帝保佑
我！——我对你的爱是完整的，没有一点残破。海枯石烂——
罗瑟琳 不要“海枯石烂”了，我求求你。
俾隆 这是我积习未除；原谅我，我的病根太深了，必须把它慢慢除去。慢点！
有了，给他们三个人都贴上“重病”的封条；他们的心灵都得了不治之症，受到你
眼睛的传染，神智不清。这些贵人的症状准确无误，满脸通红——那正是瘟疫的礼
物。
公主 他们送礼来的时候，神智很清。
俾隆 我们已经破产了，请您留情。
罗瑟琳 哪里，你们的言词如此体面，如此富有，怎么说得上破产？
俾隆 住口，我今后不再和你交战。
罗瑟琳 能这样最好，这正是我的心愿。
俾隆 你们开言吧！我简直一筹莫展。
国王 亲爱的公主，为了我们卤莽的错误，指点我们一个巧妙的辩解吧。
公主 坦白的供认是最好的辩解。您刚才不是改扮了到这儿来过的吗？
国王 公主，是的。
公主 您这样作是有道理的吗？
国王 有道理的，公主。
公主 那时候您在您爱人的耳边轻轻地说过些什么来着？
国王 我说我尊敬她甚于整个的世界。
公主 等到她要求您履行您对她的誓言的时候，您就要否认说过这样的话了。
国王 凭着我的荣誉起誓，我决不否认。
公主 且慢！且慢！不要随便发誓；一次背誓以后，什么誓都靠不住了。
国王 我要是毁弃了这一个誓，你可以永远轻视我。
公主 我要轻视您的， 所以千万遵守着吧。罗瑟琳，那俄罗斯人在你的耳边轻
轻地说过些什么来着？
罗瑟琳 公主， 他发誓说他把我当作自己的瞳人一样珍爱，重视我甚于整个的
世界；他还说他要娶我为妻，否则就要爱我而死。
公主 上帝祝福你嫁到这样一位丈夫！这位高贵的君王是决不食言的。
国王 这是什么意思， 公主？凭着我的生命和忠诚起誓，我从不曾向这位姑娘
发过这样的盟誓。
罗瑟琳 苍天在上， 您发过的；为了证明您的信实，您还给我这一件东西；可
是陛下，请您把它拿回去吧。
国王 我把我的赤心和这东西一起献给公主的； 凭着她衣袖上佩带的宝石，我
认明是她。
公主 对不起， 陛下，刚才佩带这宝石的是她呀。俾隆大人才是我的爱人，我
得谢谢他。喂，俾隆大人，您还是要我呢，还是要我把您的珍珠还给您？
俾隆 什么都不要； 我全都放弃了。我懂得你们的诡计，你们预先知道了我们
的把戏，有心捣乱，让它变成一本圣诞节的喜剧。哪一个鼓唇摇舌的家伙，哪一个
逢迎献媚的佞人，哪一个无聊下贱的蠢物，哪一个搬弄是非的食客，哪一个侍候颜
色的奴才，泄漏了我们的计划；这些淑女们因为听到这样的消息，才把各人收到的
礼物交换佩带，我们只知道认明标记，却不曾想到已经张冠李戴。我们本来已经负
上一重欺神背誓的罪名，现在又加上第二次的背誓；第一次是有意，这一次是无心。
（向鲍益）看来都是你破坏了我们的兴致，使我们言而无信。你不是连我们公主的
脚寸有多少长短也知道得清清楚楚，老是望着她的眼睛堆起一脸笑容吗？你不是常
常靠着火炉，站在她的背后，手里捧了一盆食物，讲些逗人发笑的话吗？你把我们
的侍童也气糊涂了。好，你是个享有特权的人，你什么时候死了，让一件女人的衬
衫做你的殓衾吧。你把眼睛瞟着我吗？哼，你的眼睛就像一柄铅剑，伤不了人的。
鲍益 这一场玩意儿安排得真好，怪有趣的。
俾隆 听！他简直向我挑战。算了，我可不跟你斗嘴啦。
考斯塔德上。
俾隆 欢迎，纯粹的哲人！你来得正好，否则我们又要开始一场恶战了。
考斯塔德 主啊！先生，他们想要知道那三位伟人要不要就进来？
俾隆 什么，只有三个吗？
考斯塔德 不，先生；好得很，因为每一个人都扮着三个哩。
俾隆 三个的三倍是九个。
考斯塔德 不， 先生；您错了，先生，我想不是这样。我们知道就知道，不知
道就不知道；我希望，先生，三个的三倍——
俾隆 不是九个。考斯塔德 先生，请你宽恕，我们是知道总数多少的。
俾隆 天哪，我一向总以为三个的三倍是九个。
考斯塔德 主啊，先生！您可不能靠着打算盘吃饭哩，先生。
俾隆 那么究竟多少呀？
考斯塔德 主啊，先生！那班表演的人，先生，可以让您知道究竟一共有几个；
讲到我自己，那么正像他们说的，我这个下贱的人，只好扮演一个；我扮的是庞贝
大王，先生。
俾隆 你也是一个伟人吗？
考斯塔德 他们以为我可以扮演庞贝大王； 讲到我自己，我可不知道伟人是一
个什么官衔，可是，他们要叫我扮演他。
俾隆 去，叫他们预备起来。
考斯塔德 我们一定会演得好好的，先生；我们一定演得非常小心。（下。）
国王 俾隆，他们一定会丢尽我们的脸；叫他们不要来吧。
俾隆 我们的脸已经丢尽了， 陛下，还怕什么？让他们表演一幕比国王和他的
同伴们所表演的更拙劣的戏剧，也可以遮遮我们的羞。
国王 我说不要叫他们来。
公主 不， 我的好陛下，这一回让我作主吧。最有趣的游戏是看一群手脚无措
的人表演一些他们自己也不明白的玩意儿；他们拚命卖力，想讨人家的喜欢，结果
却在过分卖力之中失去了原来的意义；虽然他们糟蹋了大好的材料，他们那慌张的
姿态却很可以博人一笑。
俾隆 陛下，这几句话把我们的游戏形容得确切之至。
亚马多上。
亚马多 天命的君王， 我请求你略微吐出一些芳香的御气，赐给我一两句尊严
的圣语。（亚马多与国王谈话，以一纸呈国王。）
公主 这个人是敬奉上帝的吗？
俾隆 您为什么问这个问题？
公主 他讲的话不像是一个上帝造下的人所说的。
亚马多 那都一样， 我的美好的、可爱的、蜜一般甜的王上；因为我要声明一
句，那教书先生是太乖僻，太太自负，太太自负了；可是我们只好像人家说的，胜
败各凭天命。愿你们心灵安静，最尊贵的一双！（下。）
国王 看来要有一场很出色的伟人表演哩。 他扮的是特洛亚的赫克托；那乡人
扮庞贝大王；教区牧师扮亚历山大；亚马多的童儿扮赫剌克勒斯；那村学究扮犹大
·麦卡俾斯；要是这四位伟人在第一场表演中得到成功，他们就要改换服装，再来
表演其余的五个。
俾隆 在第一场里有五个伟人。
国王 你弄错了，不是五个。
俾隆 一个冬烘学究， 一个法螺骑士，一个穷酸牧师，一个傻瓜，一个孩子；
除了掷骰子五点可以算九之外，照我看全世界也找不出同样的五个人来。
国王 船已经扯起帆篷，乘风而来了。
考斯塔德穿甲胃扮庞贝重上。
考斯塔德
我是庞贝——
鲍益 胡说，你不是他。
考斯塔德
我是庞贝——
鲍益 抱着盾摔了个马爬。
俾隆 说得好，快嘴老，我俩讲和啦。
考斯塔德
我是庞贝，人称庞贝老大——
杜曼“大王”。
考斯塔德 是“大王”，先生。
——人称庞贝大王；
在战场上挺起盾牌，杀得敌人流浆；
这回沿着海岸旅行，偶然经过贵邦，
放下武器，敬礼法兰西的可爱姑娘。
公主小姐要是说一声“谢谢你，庞贝”，我就可以下场了。
公主 多谢多谢，伟大的庞贝。
考斯塔德 这不算什么； 可是我希望我没有闹了笑话。我就是把“大王”念错
了。
俾隆 我拿我的帽子跟别人打赌半便士，庞贝是最好的伟人。
纳森聂尔牧师穿甲胄扮亚历山大上。
纳森聂尔
当我在世之日，我是世界的主人；
东西南北四方传布征服的威名：
我的盾牌证明我就是亚历山大——
鲍益 你的鼻子说不，你不是；因为它太直了。
俾隆 你的鼻子也会嗅出个“不”字来，真是一位嗅觉灵敏的骑士。
公主 这位征服者在发恼了。说下去，好亚历山大。
纳森聂尔
当我在世之日，我是世界的主人；——
鲍益 不错，对的；你是世界的主人，亚历山大。
俾隆 庞贝大王——
考斯塔德 您的仆人考斯塔德在此。
俾隆 把这征服者，把这亚历山大摔下去。
考斯塔德（向纳森聂尔）啊！先生，您丧尽了亚历山大的威风！从此以后，人
家要把您的尊容从画布上擦掉，把您那衔着斧头坐在便桶上的狮子送给埃阿斯；他
将要坐第九把伟人的交椅了。一个盖世的英雄，吓得不敢说话！赶快溜走吧，亚归
山大，别丢脸啦！（纳森聂尔退下）各位看吧，一个又笨又和善的人；一个老实的
家伙，你们瞧，一下子就会着慌！他是个很好的邻居，凭良心说，而且滚得一手好
球；可是叫他扮亚历山大——唉，你们都看见的，——实在有点儿不配。可是还有
几个伟人就要来啦，他们会用另外一种样式说出他们的心思来的。
公主 站开，好庞贝。
霍罗福尼斯穿甲胄扮犹大；毛子穿甲胄扮赫剌克勒斯上。
霍罗福尼斯
这小鬼扮的是赫剌克勒斯，
他一棍打得死三头猘犬；
他在儿童孩提少小之时，
叫两条蛇死于他的铁腕。
诸位听了我这一番交代，
请看他幼年的英雄气概。
放出一些威势来，下去。（毛子退下）
我是犹大——
杜曼 一个犹大！
霍罗福尼斯 不是犹大·伊斯凯里奥特⒃，先生。
我是犹大，姓麦卡俾斯——
杜曼 去了姓，不就是货真价实的犹大吗？
俾隆 你怎么证明你不是当面接吻，背地里出卖基督的犹大？
霍罗福尼斯
我是犹大——
杜曼 不要脸的犹大！
霍罗福尼斯 您是什么意思，先生？
鲍益 他的意思是要叫你去上吊。
霍罗福尼斯 得了，先生，你比我大。
俾隆 不然，要说大还得让犹大。
霍罗福尼斯 你们不能这样不给我一点面子。
俾隆 因为你是没有脸的。
霍罗福尼斯 这是什么？
鲍益 一个琵琶头。
杜曼 一个针孔。
俾隆 一个指环上的骷髅。
朗格维 一张模糊不清的罗马古钱上的面孔。
鲍益 凯撒的剑把。
杜曼 水瓶上的骨雕人面。
俾隆 别针上半面的圣乔治。
杜曼 嗯，这别针还是铅的。
俾隆 嗯，插在一个拔牙齿人的帽子上。现在说下去吧，你有面子了。
霍罗福尼斯 你们叫我把面子丢尽了。
俾隆 胡说，我们给了你许多面子。
霍罗福尼斯 可是你们自己的面皮比哪个都厚。
俾隆 你的狮子皮也不簿。
鲍益 可惜狮子皮底下蒙的是一头驴， 叫他走吧。再见，好犹大。怎么，你还
等什么？
杜曼 他等你吆喝呢。
俾隆 说“犹——大——” 还不够吗？——好，再听着：“犹——大——咳—
—喝，”快走！
霍罗福尼斯 这太刻薄、太欺人、太不客气啦。
鲍益 替犹大先生拿一个火来！天黑起来了，他也许会跌交。
公主 唉，可怜的麦卡俾斯！他给你们作弄得好苦！
亚马多披甲胄扮赫克托重上。
俾隆 藏好你的头，阿喀琉斯；赫克托全身甲胄来了。
杜曼 果然叫我自作自受了，但是我仍然很开心。
国王 跟这个人一比，赫克托不过是一个特洛亚人。
鲍益 可是这是赫克托吗？
国王 我想赫克托不会长得这么漂亮。
朗格维 赫克托的小腿也不会有这么粗。
杜曼 确实很粗。
鲍益 也许是整天逃跑练出来的。
俾隆 这个人决不是赫克托。
杜曼 他不是一个天神，就是一个画师，因为他会制造千变万化的脸相。
亚马多
马斯，那长熗万能的无敌战神，
垂眷于赫克托，——
杜曼 马斯给了赫克托一颗镀金的荳蔻。
俾隆 一只柠檬。
朗格维 里头塞着丁香。
杜曼 不，塞着茴香。
亚马多 不要吵！
马斯，那长熗万能的无敌战神，
垂眷于赫克托，伊利恩的后人，
把无限勇力充满了他的全身，
使他百战不怠，从清晨到黄昏。
我就是那战士之花，——
杜曼 那薄荷花。
朗格维 那白鸽花。
亚马多 亲爱的朗格维大人，请你把你的舌头收住一下。
朗格维 我必须用绳拉住它，免得它冲倒了赫克托。
杜曼 是啊，赫克托也是猎狗的名字。
亚马多 这位可爱的骑士久已死去烂掉了； 好人儿们，不要敲死人的骨头；当
他在世的时候，他也是一条汉子。可是我要继续我的台词。（向公主）亲爱的公主，
请你俯赐垂听。
公主 说吧，勇敢的赫克托；我们很喜欢听着你哩。
亚马多 我崇拜你的可爱的纤履。
鲍益 你只能在她脚底下爬着。
杜曼 再高一点也不行。
亚马多
这赫克托比汉尼拔⒄凶狠万分——
考斯塔德 那个人已经有了孕啦； 赫克托朋友，她有了孕啦；她已经怀了两个
月的身孕。
亚马多 你说什么话？
考斯塔德 真的， 您要是不做一个老老实实的特洛亚人，这可怜的丫头从此就
要完啦。她有了孕，那孩子已经在她的肚子里说话了；它是您的。
亚马多 你要在这些君主贵人之前破坏我的名誉吗？我要叫你死。
考斯塔德 赫克托害杰奎妮妲有了身孕， 本该抽一顿鞭子；要是他再犯了杀死
庞贝的人命重案，绞罪是免不了的。
杜曼 举世无匹的庞贝！
鲍益 遐迩闻名的庞贝！
俾隆 比伟大更伟大，伟大的、伟大的、伟大的庞贝！庞大绝伦的庞贝！
杜曼 赫克托发抖了。
俾隆 庞贝也动怒了。打！打！叫他们打起来！叫他们打起来！
杜曼 赫克托会向他挑战的。
俾隆 嗯，即使他肚子里所有的男人的血，还喂不饱一个跳蚤。
亚马多 凭着北极起誓，我要向你挑战。
考斯塔德 我不知道什么北极不北极； 我只知道拿起一柄剑就斫。请你让我再
去借那身盔甲穿上。
杜曼 伟人发怒了，让开！
考斯塔德 我就穿着衬衫跟你打。
杜曼 最坚决的庞贝！
毛子 主人， 让我给您解开一个钮扣。您不看见庞贝已经脱下衣服，准备厮杀
了吗？您是什么意思？您这样会毁了您的名誉的。
亚马多 各位先生和骑士，原谅我；我不愿穿着衬衫决斗。
杜曼 你不能拒绝；庞贝已经向你挑战了。
亚马多 好人们，我可以拒绝，我必须拒绝。
俾隆 你凭着什么理由拒绝？
亚马多 赤裸裸的事实是， 我没有衬衫。我因为忏悔罪孽，贴身只穿着一件羊
毛的衣服。
鲍益 真的， 罗马因为缺少麻布，所以向教徒们下了这样的命令；自从那时候
起，我可以发誓，他只有一方杰奎妮妲的揩碟布系在他的胸前，作为一件纪念的礼
物。
法国使者马凯德上。
马凯德 上帝保佑您，公主！
公主 欢迎，马凯德；可是你打断我们的兴致了。
马凯德 我很抱歉， 公主，因为我给您带来了一个我所不愿意出口的消息。您
的父王——
公主 死了，一定是的！
马凯德 正是，我的话已经让您代说了。
俾隆 各位伟人，大家去吧！这场面被愁云笼罩起来了。
亚马多 讲到我自己， 却呼吸到了自由的空气。通过一点能屈能伸的手腕，我
总算逃过了这场威胁，我要像一个军人般赎回这个侮辱。（众伟人下。）
国王 公主安好吗？
公主 鲍益，准备起来；我今天晚上就要动身。
国王 公主，不；请你再少留几天。
公主 我说，准备起来。殷勤的陛下和各位大人，我感谢你们一切善意的努力；
我还要用我这一颗新遭惨变的心灵向你们请求，要是我们在言语之间有什么放肆失
礼之处，愿你们运用广大的智慧，多多包涵我们任性的孟浪；是你们的宽容纵坏了
我们。再会，陛下！一个人在悲哀之中，说不出娓娓动听的话；原谅我用这样菲薄
的感谢，交换您的慷慨的允诺。
国王 人生的种种鹄的， 往往在最后关头达到了完成的境界；长期的艰辛所不
能取得结果的，却会在紧急的一刻中得到决定。虽然天伦的哀痛打断了爱情的温柔
的礼仪，使它不敢提出那萦绕心头的神圣的请求，可是这一个论题既然已经开始，
让悲伤的暗云不要压下它的心愿吧；因为欣幸获得新交的朋友，是比哀悼已故的亲
人更为有益的。
公主 我不懂您的意思；我的悲哀是双重的。
俾隆 坦白直率的言语， 最容易打动悲哀的耳朵；让我替王上解释他的意思。
为了你们的缘故，我们蹉跎了大好的光阴，毁弃了神圣的誓言。你们的美貌，女郎
们，使我们神魂颠倒，违反了我们本来的意志。恋爱是充满了各种失态的怪癖的，
因此它才使我们表现出荒谬的举止，像孩子一般无赖、淘气而自大；它是产生在眼
睛里的，因此它像眼睛一般，充满了无数迷离惝怳、变幻多端的形象，正像眼珠的
转动反映着它所观照的事事物物一样。要是恋爱加于我们身上的这一种轻佻狂妄的
外表，在你们天仙般的眼睛里看来，是不适宜于我们的誓言和身分的，那么你们必
须知道，就是这些看到我们的缺点的天仙般的眼睛，使我们造成了这些缺点。所以，
女郎们，我们的爱情既然是你们的，爱情所造成的错误也都是你们的；我们一度不
忠于自己，从此以后，永远把我们的一片忠心，紧系在那能使我们变心也能使我们
尽忠的人的身上——美貌的女郎们，我们要对你们永远忠实；凭着这一段耿耿的至
诚，洗净我们叛誓的罪愆。
公主 我们已经收到你们充满了爱情的信札， 并且拜领了你们的礼物，那些爱
情的使节；在我们这几个少女的心目中看来，这一切不过是调情的游戏、风雅的玩
笑的酬酢的虚文，有些夸张过火而适合时俗的习尚，可是我们却没有看到比这更挚
诚的情感；所以我们才用你们自己的方式应付你们的爱情，只把它当作一场玩笑。
杜曼 公主，我们的信里并不只是一些开玩笑的话。
朗格维 我们的眼光里也流露着真诚的爱慕。
罗瑟琳 我们却不是这样解释。
国王 现在在这最后一分钟的时间，把你们的爱给了我们吧。
公主 我想这是一个太短促的时间， 缔结这一注天长地久的买卖。不，不，陛
下，您毁过大多的誓，您的罪孽太深重啦；所以请您听我说，要是您为了我的爱，
愿意干无论什么事情——我知道这种情形是不会有的——您就得替我做这一件事：
我不愿相信您所发的誓；您必须赶快找一处荒凉僻野的隐居的所在，远离一切人世
的享乐；在那边安心住下，直到天上的列星终结了它们一岁的行程。要是这种严肃
而孤寂的生活，改变不了您在一时热情冲动之中所作的提议；要是霜雪和饥饿、粗
劣的居室和菲薄的衣服，摧残不了您的爱情的绚艳的花朵；它经过了这一番磨炼，
并没有憔悴而枯萎；那么在一年终了的时候，您就可以凭着已经履行这一条件，来
向我提出要求，我现在和您握手为盟，那时候我一定愿意成为您的；在那时以前，
我将要在一所惨淡凄凉的屋子里闭户幽居，为了纪念死去的父亲而流着悲伤的泪雨。
要是这一个条件你不能接受，让我们从此分手；分明不是姻缘，要请您另寻佳偶。
国王 倘为了贪图身体的安乐， 我拒绝了你这一番提议，让死的魔手掩闭我的
双目！从今以往，我的心永远和你在一起。
俾隆 你对我有什么话说，我的爱人？你对我有什么话说？
罗瑟琳 你也必须洗涤你的罪恶； 你的身上沾染着种种恶德，而且还负着叛誓
的重罪；所以要是你希望得到我的好感，你必须在这一年之内，昼夜不休地服侍那
些呻吟床榻的病人。
杜曼 可是你对我有什么话说， 我的爱人？可是你对我有什么话说？我能得到
个妻子吗？
凯瑟琳 一把胡须， 一个健康的身体，一颗正直的良心；我用三重的爱希望你
有这三种东西。
杜曼 啊！我可不可以说，谢谢你，温柔的妻子？
凯瑟琳 不， 我的大人。在这一年之内，无论哪一个小白脸来向我求婚，我都
一概不理睬他们。等你们的国王来看我们公主的时候，你也来看我；要是那时候我
有很多的爱，我会给你一些的。
杜曼 我一定对你克尽忠诚，等候那一天的到来。
凯瑟琳 不要发誓了，免得再背誓。
朗格维 玛利娅怎么说？
玛利娅 一年过去以后，我愿意为了一个忠心的朋友脱下我的黑衣。
朗格维 我愿意耐心等候；可是这时间太长了。
玛利娅 正像你自己；年轻轻的，个子却很长。
俾隆 我的爱人在想些什么？姑娘，瞧着我吧。瞧我的心灵的窗门，我的眼睛，
在多么谦恭而恳切地等候着你的答复；吩咐我为了你的爱干些什么事吧。
罗瑟琳 俾隆大人， 我在没有识荆以前，就常常听到你的名字；世间的长舌说
你是一个玩世不恭的人物，满嘴都是借题影射的讥讽和尖酸刻薄的嘲笑；无论贵贱
贫富，只要触动了你的灵机，你都要把他们挖苦得不留余地。要是你希望得到我的
爱，第一就得把这种可厌的习气从你的脑海之中根本除去；为了达到这一个目的，
你必须在这一年的时期之内，不许有一天间断，去访问那些无言的病人，和那些痛
苦呻吟的苦人儿谈话；你的唯一的任务，就是竭力运用你的才智，逗那受着疾病折
磨的人们一笑。
俾隆 在濒死者的喉间激起哄然的狂笑来吗？ 那可办不到，绝对不可能的；谐
谑不能感动一个痛苦的灵魂。
罗瑟琳 这是克服口头上的轻薄的唯一办法。 自恃能言的傻子，正因为有了浅
薄的听众随声哗笑，才会得意扬扬。可笑或不可笑取决于听者的耳朵，而不是说者
的舌头。如果病人能够不顾自己的呻吟惨叫，忘却本身的痛苦，而来听你的无聊的
讥嘲，那么继续把你的笑话说下去吧，我愿意连同你这一个缺点把你接受下来；可
是如其他们没有那样的闲情听你说笑，那么还是赶快丢掉这种习气的好，我看见你
这样勇于改过，一定会非常高兴的。
俾隆 十二个月！ 好，不管命运怎样把人玩弄，我要把一岁光阴，三寸妙舌，
在病榻之前葬送。
公主（向国王）是的，我的好陛下；我就此告别了。
国王 不，公主，我们要送你一程。
俾隆 我们的求婚结束得不像一本旧式的戏剧； 有情人未成眷属，好好的喜剧
缺少一幕团圆的场面。
国王 算了，老兄，只要挨过一年就好了。
俾隆 那么这本戏演得又太长了。
亚马多重上。
亚马多 亲爱的陛下，准许我——
公主 这不是赫克托吗？
杜曼 特洛亚的可尊敬的骑士。
亚马多 我要敬吻你的御指， 然后向你告别。我已经许下愿心，向杰奎妮妲发
誓，为了她的爱，我要帮助她耕种三年。可是，最可尊敬的陛下，你们要不要听听
那两位有学问的人所写的赞美鸱鸮和杜鹃的一段对话？它本来是预备放在我们的表
演以后歌唱的。
国王 快叫他们来；我们倒要听听。
亚马多 喂！进来！
霍罗福尼斯、纳森聂尔、毛子、考斯塔德及余人等重上。
亚马多 这一边是冬天，这一边是春天；鸱鸮代表冬天，杜鹃代表春天。春天，
你先开始。
春之歌
当杂色的雏菊开遍牧场，
蓝的紫罗兰，白的美人衫，
还有那杜鹃花吐蕾娇黄，
描出了一片广大的欣欢；
听杜鹃在每一株树上叫，
把那娶了妻的男人讥笑：
咯咕！
咯咕！咯咕！啊，可怕的声音！
害得做丈夫的肉跳心惊。
当无愁的牧童口吹麦笛，
清晨的云雀惊醒了农人，
斑鸠乌鸦都在觅侣求匹，
女郎们漂洗夏季的衣裙；
听杜鹃在每一株树上叫，
把那娶了妻的男人讥笑：
咯咕！
咯咕！咯咕！啊，可怕的声音！
害得做丈夫的肉跳心惊。
冬之歌
当一条条冰柱檐前悬吊，
汤姆把木块向屋内搬送，
牧童狄克呵着他的指爪，
挤来的牛乳凝结了一桶，
刺骨的寒气，泥泞的路途，
大眼睛的鸱鸮夜夜高呼：
哆呵！
哆喴，哆呵！它歌唱着欢喜，
当油垢的琼转她的锅子。
当怒号的北风漫天吹响，
咳嗽打断了牧师的箴言，
鸟雀们在雪里缩住颈项，
玛利恩冻得红肿了鼻尖，
炙烤的螃蟹在锅内吱喳，
大眼睛的鸱鸮夜夜喧哗：
哆呵！
哆喴，哆呵！它歌唱着欢喜，
当油垢的琼转她的锅子。
亚马多 听罢了阿波罗的歌声， 麦鸠利⒅的语言是粗糙的。你们向那边去；我
们向这边去。（各下。）
注释
1.一匹名叫“摩洛哥”的马，曾轰动当时杂技界，屡见于伊丽莎伯时代的文学
作品中。
2.参孙（Samson），《圣经》中的大力士，见《旧约》：《士师记》。
3.一句流行的童谣，亦见于《哈姆莱特》第三幕第二场。
4.考斯塔德（Costard），原意是“脑袋”。
5.科菲多亚（Cophetua）和培妮罗芳（Penelophon）是古代英国歌谣中的人物；
亚马多将培妮罗芳误为齐妮罗芳（Zenelophon）。
6.“我来，我看见，我征服”是凯撒征服本都王法那西斯后告知罗马贵族院之
有名豪语。
7.贺拉斯（Horace，公元前65—8年），罗马诗人。
8.奥维狄斯·奈索（Ovidius Naso）即奥维德（Ovid，公元前43—公元17？），
罗马诗人，《变形记》的作者。
9.埃阿斯（Ajax），特洛亚战争中的英雄。参阅《特洛伊罗斯与克瑞西达》一
剧。
10.凯德是凯瑟琳的爱称。
11. 涅斯托（Nestor），荷马史诗《伊利亚特》中年纪最大的希腊将领，以严
肃著名。
12.巴克科斯（Bacchus），希腊神话里的酒神。
13. 斯芬克斯（Sphinx），希腊神话中狮身女首有翼之怪物，常坐路旁以甚狡
诡之谜语难人。
14.拉丁文，意为“在充满了荣誉的情况中”
15. 约书亚 （Joshua） ， 古代以色列先知； 犹大·麦卡俾斯 （Judas
Maccabaeus），古代犹太民族英雄，庞贝大王（Pompey the Great），罗马大将。
16.犹大·伊斯凯里爽特（Judas Iscariot），耶稣门徒，耶稣即被其出卖。
17.汉尼拔（Hannibal，公元前247—183），迦太基名将。
18.麦鸠利（Mereury），罗马神话中的商神，又为盗贼等的保护神。
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