[table=66%,#5D7397,#5D7397,1][tr][td]
[table=99%,#EBF2F9,#EBF2F9,18][tr][td]
Mrs. Palmer was so well at the end of a fortnight, that her mother felt it no longer necessary to give up the whole of her time to her; and, contenting herself with visiting her once or twice a day, returned from that period to her own home, and her own habits, in which she found the Miss Dashwoods very ready to resume their former share.
About the third or fourth morning after their being thus resettled in Berkeley Street, Mrs. Jennings, on returning from her ordinary visit to Mrs. Palmer, entered the drawing-room, where Elinor was sitting by herself, with an air of such hurrying importance as prepared her to hear something wonderful; and giving her time only to form that idea, began directly to justify it, by saying,
"Lord! my dear Miss Dashwood! have you heard the news?"
"No, ma'am. What is it?"
"Something so strange! But you shall hear it all.— When I got to Mr. Palmer's, I found Charlotte quite in a fuss about the child. She was sure it was very ill—it cried, and fretted, and was all over pimples. So I looked at it directly, and, 'Lord! my dear,' says I, 'it is nothing in the world, but the red gum—' and nurse said just the same. But Charlotte, she would not be satisfied, so Mr. Donavan was sent for; and luckily he happened to just come in from Harley Street, so he stepped over directly, and as soon as ever he saw the child, be said just as we did, that it was nothing in the world but the red gum, and then Charlotte was easy. And so, just as he was going away again, it came into my head, I am sure I do not know how I happened to think of it, but it came into my head to ask him if there was any news. So upon that, he smirked, and simpered, and looked grave, and seemed to know something or other, and at last he said in a whisper, 'For fear any unpleasant report should reach the young ladies under your care as to their sister's indisposition, I think it advisable to say, that I believe there is no great reason for alarm; I hope Mrs. Dashwood will do very well.'"
"What! is Fanny ill?"
"That is exactly what I said, my dear. 'Lord!' says I, 'is Mrs. Dashwood ill?' So then it all came out; and the long and the short of the matter, by all I can learn, seems to be this. Mr. Edward Ferrars, the very young man I used to joke with you about (but however, as it turns out, I am monstrous glad there was never any thing in it), Mr. Edward Ferrars, it seems, has been engaged above this twelvemonth to my cousin Lucy!—There's for you, my dear!—And not a creature knowing a syllable of the matter, except Nancy!—Could you have believed such a thing possible?— There is no great wonder in their liking one another; but that matters should be brought so forward between them, and nobody suspect it!—THAT is strange!—I never happened to see them together, or I am sure I should have found it out directly. Well, and so this was kept a great secret, for fear of Mrs. Ferrars, and neither she nor your brother or sister suspected a word of the matter;—till this very morning, poor Nancy, who, you know, is a well-meaning creature, but no conjurer, popt it all out. 'Lord!' thinks she to herself, 'they are all so fond of Lucy, to be sure they will make no difficulty about it;' and so, away she went to your sister, who was sitting all alone at her carpet-work, little suspecting what was to come—for she had just been saying to your brother, only five minutes before, that she thought to make a match between Edward and some Lord's daughter or other, I forget who. So you may think what a blow it was to all her vanity and pride. She fell into violent hysterics immediately, with such screams as reached your brother's ears, as he was sitting in his own dressing-room down stairs, thinking about writing a letter to his steward in the country. So up he flew directly, and a terrible scene took place, for Lucy was come to them by that time, little dreaming what was going on. Poor soul! I pity HER. And I must say, I think she was used very hardly; for your sister scolded like any fury, and soon drove her into a fainting fit. Nancy, she fell upon her knees, and cried bitterly; and your brother, he walked about the room, and said he did not know what to do. Mrs. Dashwood declared they should not stay a minute longer in the house, and your brother was forced to go down upon HIS knees too, to persuade her to let them stay till they had packed up their clothes. THEN she fell into hysterics again, and he was so frightened that he would send for Mr. Donavan, and Mr. Donavan found the house in all this uproar. The carriage was at the door ready to take my poor cousins away, and they were just stepping in as he came off; poor Lucy in such a condition, he says, she could hardly walk; and Nancy, she was almost as bad. I declare, I have no patience with your sister; and I hope, with all my heart, it will be a match in spite of her. Lord! what a taking poor Mr. Edward will be in when he hears of it! To have his love used so scornfully! for they say he is monstrous fond of her, as well he may. I should not wonder, if he was to be in the greatest passion!—and Mr. Donavan thinks just the same. He and I had a great deal of talk about it; and the best of all is, that he is gone back again to Harley Street, that he may be within call when Mrs. Ferrars is told of it, for she was sent for as soon as ever my cousins left the house, for your sister was sure SHE would be in hysterics too; and so she may, for what I care. I have no pity for either of them. I have no notion of people's making such a to-do about money and greatness. There is no reason on earth why Mr. Edward and Lucy should not marry; for I am sure Mrs. Ferrars may afford to do very well by her son, and though Lucy has next to nothing herself, she knows better than any body how to make the most of every thing; I dare say, if Mrs. Ferrars would only allow him five hundred a-year, she would make as good an appearance with it as any body else would with eight. Lord! how snug they might live in such another cottage as yours—or a little bigger—with two maids, and two men; and I believe I could help them to a housemaid, for my Betty has a sister out of place, that would fit them exactly."
Here Mrs. Jennings ceased, and as Elinor had had time enough to collect her thoughts, she was able to give such an answer, and make such observations, as the subject might naturally be supposed to produce. Happy to find that she was not suspected of any extraordinary interest in it; that Mrs. Jennings (as she had of late often hoped might be the case) had ceased to imagine her at all attached to Edward; and happy above all the rest, in the absence of Marianne, she felt very well able to speak of the affair without embarrassment, and to give her judgment, as she believed, with impartiality on the conduct of every one concerned in it.
She could hardly determine what her own expectation of its event really was; though she earnestly tried to drive away the notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last, than in the marriage of Edward and Lucy. What Mrs. Ferrars would say and do, though there could not be a doubt of its nature, she was anxious to hear; and still more anxious to know how Edward would conduct himself. For HIM she felt much compassion;—for Lucy very little—and it cost her some pains to procure that little;—for the rest of the party none at all.
As Mrs. Jennings could talk on no other subject, Elinor soon saw the necessity of preparing Marianne for its discussion. No time was to be lost in undeceiving her, in making her acquainted with the real truth, and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it talked of by others, without betraying that she felt any uneasiness for her sister, or any resentment against Edward.
Elinor's office was a painful one.—She was going to remove what she really believed to be her sister's chief consolation,—to give such particulars of Edward as she feared would ruin him for ever in her good opinion,-and to make Marianne, by a resemblance in their situations, which to HER fancy would seem strong, feel all her own disappointment over again. But unwelcome as such a task must be, it was necessary to be done, and Elinor therefore hastened to perform it.
She was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings, or to represent herself as suffering much, any otherwise than as the self-command she had practised since her first knowledge of Edward's engagement, might suggest a hint of what was practicable to Marianne. Her narration was clear and simple; and though it could not be given without emotion, it was not accompanied by violent agitation, nor impetuous grief.—THAT belonged rather to the hearer, for Marianne listened with horror, and cried excessively. Elinor was to be the comforter of others in her own distresses, no less than in theirs; and all the comfort that could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind, and a very earnest vindication of Edward from every charge but of imprudence, was readily offered.
But Marianne for some time would give credit to neither. Edward seemed a second Willoughby; and acknowledging as Elinor did, that she HAD loved him most sincerely, could she feel less than herself! As for Lucy Steele, she considered her so totally unamiable, so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man, that she could not be persuaded at first to believe, and afterwards to pardon, any former affection of Edward for her. She would not even admit it to have been natural; and Elinor left her to be convinced that it was so, by that which only could convince her, a better knowledge of mankind.
Her first communication had reached no farther than to state the fact of the engagement, and the length of time it had existed.—Marianne's feelings had then broken in, and put an end to all regularity of detail; and for some time all that could be done was to soothe her distress, lessen her alarms, and combat her resentment. The first question on her side, which led to farther particulars, was,
"How long has this been known to you, Elinor? has he written to you?"
"I have known it these four months. When Lucy first came to Barton Park last November, she told me in confidence of her engagement."
At these words, Marianne's eyes expressed the astonishment which her lips could not utter. After a pause of wonder, she exclaimed—
"Four months!—Have you known of this four months?"
Elinor confirmed it.
"What!—while attending me in all my misery, has this been on your heart?—And I have reproached you for being happy!"—
"It was not fit that you should then know how much I was the reverse!"
"Four months!"—cried Marianne again.—"So calm!—so cheerful!—how have you been supported?"—
"By feeling that I was doing my duty.—My promise to Lucy, obliged me to be secret. I owed it to her, therefore, to avoid giving any hint of the truth; and I owed it to my family and friends, not to create in them a solicitude about me, which it could not be in my power to satisfy."
Marianne seemed much struck.
"I have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my mother," added Elinor; "and once or twice I have attempted it;—but without betraying my trust, I never could have convinced you."
"Four months!—and yet you loved him!"—
"Yes. But I did not love only him;—and while the comfort of others was dear to me, I was glad to spare them from knowing how much I felt. Now, I can think and speak of it with little emotion. I would not have you suffer on my account; for I assure you I no longer suffer materially myself. I have many things to support me. I am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any imprudence of my own, I have borne it as much as possible without spreading it farther. I acquit Edward of essential misconduct. I wish him very happy; and I am so sure of his always doing his duty, that though now he may harbour some regret, in the end he must become so. Lucy does not want sense, and that is the foundation on which every thing good may be built.—And after all, Marianne, after all that is bewitching in the idea of a single and constant attachment, and all that can be said of one's happiness depending entirely on any particular person, it is not meant—it is not fit—it is not possible that it should be so.— Edward will marry Lucy; he will marry a woman superior in person and understanding to half her sex; and time and habit will teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to her."—
"If such is your way of thinking," said Marianne, "if the loss of what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else, your resolution, your self-command, are, perhaps, a little less to be wondered at.—They are brought more within my comprehension."
"I understand you.—You do not suppose that I have ever felt much.—For four months, Marianne, I have had all this hanging on my mind, without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature; knowing that it would make you and my mother most unhappy whenever it were explained to you, yet unable to prepare you for it in the least.— It was told me,—it was in a manner forced on me by the very person herself, whose prior engagement ruined all my prospects; and told me, as I thought, with triumph.— This person's suspicions, therefore, I have had to oppose, by endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply interested;—and it has not been only once;—I have had her hopes and exultation to listen to again and again.— I have known myself to be divided from Edward for ever, without hearing one circumstance that could make me less desire the connection.—Nothing has proved him unworthy; nor has anything declared him indifferent to me.— I have had to contend against the unkindness of his sister, and the insolence of his mother; and have suffered the punishment of an attachment, without enjoying its advantages.— And all this has been going on at a time, when, as you know too well, it has not been my only unhappiness.— If you can think me capable of ever feeling—surely you may suppose that I have suffered now. The composure of mind with which I have brought myself at present to consider the matter, the consolation that I have been willing to admit, have been the effect of constant and painful exertion;—they did not spring up of themselves;—they did not occur to relieve my spirits at first.— No, Marianne.—Then, if I had not been bound to silence, perhaps nothing could have kept me entirely—not even what I owed to my dearest friends—from openly shewing that I was very unhappy."—
Marianne was quite subdued.—
"Oh! Elinor," she cried, "you have made me hate myself for ever.—How barbarous have I been to you!—you, who have been my only comfort, who have borne with me in all my misery, who have seemed to be only suffering for me!—Is this my gratitude?—Is this the only return I can make you?—Because your merit cries out upon myself, I have been trying to do it away."
The tenderest caresses followed this confession. In such a frame of mind as she was now in, Elinor had no difficulty in obtaining from her whatever promise she required; and at her request, Marianne engaged never to speak of the affair to any one with the least appearance of bitterness;—to meet Lucy without betraying the smallest increase of dislike to her;—and even to see Edward himself, if chance should bring them together, without any diminution of her usual cordiality.— These were great concessions;—but where Marianne felt that she had injured, no reparation could be too much for her to make.
She performed her promise of being discreet, to admiration.—She attended to all that Mrs. Jennings had to say upon the subject, with an unchanging complexion, dissented from her in nothing, and was heard three times to say, "Yes, ma'am."—She listened to her praise of Lucy with only moving from one chair to another, and when Mrs. Jennings talked of Edward's affection, it cost her only a spasm in her throat.—Such advances towards heroism in her sister, made Elinor feel equal to any thing herself.
The next morning brought a farther trial of it, in a visit from their brother, who came with a most serious aspect to talk over the dreadful affair, and bring them news of his wife.
"You have heard, I suppose," said he with great solemnity, as soon as he was seated, "of the very shocking discovery that took place under our roof yesterday."
They all looked their assent; it seemed too awful a moment for speech.
"Your sister," he continued, "has suffered dreadfully. Mrs. Ferrars too—in short it has been a scene of such complicated distress—but I will hope that the storm may be weathered without our being any of us quite overcome. Poor Fanny! she was in hysterics all yesterday. But I would not alarm you too much. Donavan says there is nothing materially to be apprehended; her constitution is a good one, and her resolution equal to any thing. She has borne it all, with the fortitude of an angel! She says she never shall think well of anybody again; and one cannot wonder at it, after being so deceived!—meeting with such ingratitude, where so much kindness had been shewn, so much confidence had been placed! It was quite out of the benevolence of her heart, that she had asked these young women to her house; merely because she thought they deserved some attention, were harmless, well-behaved girls, and would be pleasant companions; for otherwise we both wished very much to have invited you and Marianne to be with us, while your kind friend there, was attending her daughter. And now to be so rewarded! 'I wish, with all my heart,' says poor Fanny in her affectionate way, 'that we had asked your sisters instead of them.'"
Here he stopped to be thanked; which being done, he went on.
"What poor Mrs. Ferrars suffered, when first Fanny broke it to her, is not to be described. While she with the truest affection had been planning a most eligible connection for him, was it to be supposed that he could be all the time secretly engaged to another person!—such a suspicion could never have entered her head! If she suspected ANY prepossession elsewhere, it could not be in THAT quarter. 'THERE, to be sure,' said she, 'I might have thought myself safe.' She was quite in an agony. We consulted together, however, as to what should be done, and at last she determined to send for Edward. He came. But I am sorry to relate what ensued. All that Mrs. Ferrars could say to make him put an end to the engagement, assisted too as you may well suppose by my arguments, and Fanny's entreaties, was of no avail. Duty, affection, every thing was disregarded. I never thought Edward so stubborn, so unfeeling before. His mother explained to him her liberal designs, in case of his marrying Miss Morton; told him she would settle on him the Norfolk estate, which, clear of land-tax, brings in a good thousand a-year; offered even, when matters grew desperate, to make it twelve hundred; and in opposition to this, if he still persisted in this low connection, represented to him the certain penury that must attend the match. His own two thousand pounds she protested should be his all; she would never see him again; and so far would she be from affording him the smallest assistance, that if he were to enter into any profession with a view of better support, she would do all in her power to prevent him advancing in it."
Here Marianne, in an ecstasy of indignation, clapped her hands together, and cried, "Gracious God! can this be possible!"
"Well may you wonder, Marianne," replied her brother, "at the obstinacy which could resist such arguments as these. Your exclamation is very natural."
Marianne was going to retort, but she remembered her promises, and forbore.
"All this, however," he continued, "was urged in vain. Edward said very little; but what he did say, was in the most determined manner. Nothing should prevail on him to give up his engagement. He would stand to it, cost him what it might."
"Then," cried Mrs. Jennings with blunt sincerity, no longer able to be silent, "he has acted like an honest man! I beg your pardon, Mr. Dashwood, but if he had done otherwise, I should have thought him a rascal. I have some little concern in the business, as well as yourself, for Lucy Steele is my cousin, and I believe there is not a better kind of girl in the world, nor one who more deserves a good husband."
John Dashwood was greatly astonished; but his nature was calm, not open to provocation, and he never wished to offend anybody, especially anybody of good fortune. He therefore replied, without any resentment,
"I would by no means speak disrespectfully of any relation of yours, madam. Miss Lucy Steele is, I dare say, a very deserving young woman, but in the present case you know, the connection must be impossible. And to have entered into a secret engagement with a young man under her uncle's care, the son of a woman especially of such very large fortune as Mrs. Ferrars, is perhaps, altogether a little extraordinary. In short, I do not mean to reflect upon the behaviour of any person whom you have a regard for, Mrs. Jennings. We all wish her extremely happy; and Mrs. Ferrars's conduct throughout the whole, has been such as every conscientious, good mother, in like circumstances, would adopt. It has been dignified and liberal. Edward has drawn his own lot, and I fear it will be a bad one."
Marianne sighed out her similar apprehension; and Elinor's heart wrung for the feelings of Edward, while braving his mother's threats, for a woman who could not reward him.
"Well, sir," said Mrs. Jennings, "and how did it end?"
"I am sorry to say, ma'am, in a most unhappy rupture:— Edward is dismissed for ever from his mother's notice. He left her house yesterday, but where he is gone, or whether he is still in town, I do not know; for WE of course can make no inquiry."
"Poor young man!—and what is to become of him?"
"What, indeed, ma'am! It is a melancholy consideration. Born to the prospect of such affluence! I cannot conceive a situation more deplorable. The interest of two thousand pounds—how can a man live on it?—and when to that is added the recollection, that he might, but for his own folly, within three months have been in the receipt of two thousand, five hundred a-year (for Miss Morton has thirty thousand pounds,) I cannot picture to myself a more wretched condition. We must all feel for him; and the more so, because it is totally out of our power to assist him."
"Poor young man!" cried Mrs. Jennings, "I am sure he should be very welcome to bed and board at my house; and so I would tell him if I could see him. It is not fit that he should be living about at his own charge now, at lodgings and taverns."
Elinor's heart thanked her for such kindness towards Edward, though she could not forbear smiling at the form of it.
"If he would only have done as well by himself," said John Dashwood, "as all his friends were disposed to do by him, he might now have been in his proper situation, and would have wanted for nothing. But as it is, it must be out of anybody's power to assist him. And there is one thing more preparing against him, which must be worse than all—his mother has determined, with a very natural kind of spirit, to settle THAT estate upon Robert immediately, which might have been Edward's, on proper conditions. I left her this morning with her lawyer, talking over the business."
"Well!" said Mrs. Jennings, "that is her revenge. Everybody has a way of their own. But I don't think mine would be, to make one son independent, because another had plagued me."
Marianne got up and walked about the room.
"Can anything be more galling to the spirit of a man," continued John, "than to see his younger brother in possession of an estate which might have been his own? Poor Edward! I feel for him sincerely."
A few minutes more spent in the same kind of effusion, concluded his visit; and with repeated assurances to his sisters that he really believed there was no material danger in Fanny's indisposition, and that they need not therefore be very uneasy about it, he went away; leaving the three ladies unanimous in their sentiments on the present occasion, as far at least as it regarded Mrs. Ferrars's conduct, the Dashwoods', and Edward's.
Marianne's indignation burst forth as soon as he quitted the room; and as her vehemence made reserve impossible in Elinor, and unnecessary in Mrs. Jennings, they all joined in a very spirited critique upon the party.
帕尔默夫人产后已满两周,身体状况很好,她母亲认为没有必要再把全部时间都泡在她身上,每天来探视一两次也就足够了。于是,结束了前一段的护理,回到家里,恢复了以前的生活习惯。她发现,达什伍德家两位小姐很想再度分享先前的乐趣。
她们妹妹回到伯克利街大约过了三四天的一个上午,詹宁斯太太去看望帕尔默夫人刚回来,见埃丽诺独自坐在客厅里,便急急匆勿、神气十足地走了进去,好让她觉得又要听到什么奇闻了。她只给她转出这个念头的时间,接着马上证实说:
“天哪!亲爱的达什伍德小姐!你有没有听到这个消息?”
“没有,太太。什么消息?”
“好奇怪的事情!不过我会全告诉你的。我刚才到帕尔默先生家里,发现夏洛特为孩子急坏了。她一口咬定孩子病得厉害——孩子哭呀,闹呀,浑身都是丘疹。我当即一瞧,就说:‘天哪!亲爱的,这不是丘疹性寻麻疹才怪呢!’护士也是这么说的,可是夏洛特不肯相信,于是去请多纳万先生。幸亏他刚从哈利街回来,马上就赶来了。他一见到孩子,说的和我说的一模一样,就是丘疹性寻麻疹,夏洛特这才放心。多纳万先生刚想走,我也不知道怎么搞的,居然想起来问他有没有什么消息。他听了得意地傻笑了,然后摆出一副一本正经的神气,看样子像是了解什么秘密似的。最后他小声说道:‘由于担心你们照应的两位小姐得知嫂嫂身体欠安的消息会感到难过,我最好这么说:我认为没有理由大惊小怪,希望达什伍德夫人平安无事。’”
“什么?范妮病了!”
“我当时也是这么说的,亲爱的。‘天哪!’我说,‘达什伍德夫人病了?’接着,全都真相大白了。据我了解,事情大概是这样的:爱德华.费拉斯先生,也就是我常常常来取笑你的那位少爷(不过我很高兴,事实证明这些玩笑毫无根据),看来,这位爱德华.费拉斯先生与我表侄女露西订婚已经一年多了。你看,亲爱的,竟有这种事!除了南希,别人居然一点不知道!你能相信会有这种事吗?他们两人相爱,这倒不奇怪。但是事情闹到这个地步,竟然没有引起任何人的猜疑!这也就怪啦!我从来没有看见他们在一起过,不然我肯定马上就能看出苗头。你瞧,他们由于害怕费拉斯太太,就绝对保守秘密。直到今天早晨,一直没有引起他母亲和你哥嫂的丝毫怀疑。到了今天早晨,可怜的南希,你知道她本是个好心人,可就是没长心眼,一股脑儿全给捅出来了。‘天哪!’她自言自语地说,‘她们都这么喜欢露西,将来肯定不会从中刁难啦。’说罢,赶忙跑到你嫂子跟前。你嫂子正独自一个人坐在那儿织地毯,压根儿没想到会出什么事——她五分钟前还在对你哥哥说,她想让爱德华和某某勋爵的女儿配成一对,我忘了是哪位勋爵。因此你可以想象,这对你嫂子的虚荣心和自尊心是多么沉重的打击。她顿时歇斯底里大发作,一个劲地尖声叫喊。你哥哥坐在楼下化妆室里,想给他乡下的管家写封信。听到尖叫声,飞身上楼,随即发生了一个可怕的情景,因为当时露西正好来了,她一点也不知道出了什么事。可怜的人儿!我真可怜她。应该说,我认为她受到了十分无情的对待;因为你嫂子发狂似地破口大骂,露西当即昏厥过去。南希跪在地上,失声痛哭。你哥哥在房里跪来胁去,说他不知道该怎么办。达什伍德夫人宣称,詹宁斯太太说到这里停住了。好在埃丽诺有足够的时间定定心,因而还能合乎情理地做出回答,谈点看法。她高兴地发现,詹宁斯太太并没怀疑她对此事特别感兴趣。而且像她最近常常希望的那样,这位太太不再认为她还眷恋着爱德华。而最使她感到高兴的是,因为玛丽安不在场,她觉得自己完全可以不露窘态地谈论这件事,并且认为,对与这件事有关的每个人的行为,完全可以不抱任何偏见地做出判断。
到底如何预期事情的结局,她简直捉摸不定,虽然她千方百计地想打消这样的念头,即事情不是以爱德华和露西的结婚告终,而可能出现别的结局。她急切地想知道费拉斯太太会怎么说,怎么办,尽管这本是无可怀疑的事情。她还更加急切地想知道爱德华会如何反应。对于他,她深感同情。对于露西,她只有一点点同情——而这一点点同情还是她好不容易从心窝里挤出来的。对于有关的其他人,她丝毫也不同情。
由于詹宁斯太太没有别的事情好谈,埃丽诺很快认识到,有必要使玛丽安做好谈论这件事的思想准备。不能再蒙骗她了,要立即向她说明事实真相,尽力使她在听别人谈论的时候,不要露出为姐姐担忧、对爱德华不满的神情。
埃丽诺要做的是件痛苦的事情。她将搞掉的,她确信是她妹妹的主要精神慰藉;详细叙说一下爱德华的情况,这恐怕会永远毁坏她对他的良好印象。另外,在玛丽安看来,她们姐妹俩的遭遇极其相似,这也会重新勾起她自己的失望情绪。但是,尽管事情令人不快,还得照办不误,于是埃丽诺赶忙执行任务去了。
她绝不想多谈她自己的情感,不想多谈她自己如何痛苦,因为她从第一次获悉爱德华订婚以来所采取的克制态度,可以启迪玛丽安怎么办才比较现实。她说得简单明了,虽说没法做到不动感情,她还是没有过于激动,过于悲伤。真正激动、悲伤的倒是听的人,因为玛丽安惊骇地听着,痛哭不止。埃丽诺倒成了别人的安慰者:妹妹痛苦的时候她要安慰她,她自己痛苦的时候她还得安慰她。她甘愿主动地安慰她,一再保证说她心里很坦然,并且苦口婆心地替爱德华开脱罪责,只承认他有些轻率。
但是,玛丽安眼下不肯相信那两个人。爱德华好像是第二个威洛比。她像埃丽诺一样,明知她曾经真心实意地爱过他,这怎么能叫她心里感到好受呢!至于露西.斯蒂尔,她认为她一点也不可爱。一个有理智的男人根本不可能爱上她。因此,爱德华先前钟情于她,始而使她无法置信,继而使她无法谅解。她甚至不愿承认这本是很自然的事情。埃丽诺只好让她通过对世人的进一步了解,来认识事情的必然性,只有这样才能使她信服。
埃丽诺在第一次交谈中,只谈到订婚这件事以及订婚多长时间了。这时玛丽安心里实在忍受不了,打断了姐姐有条不紊的详细叙述。一时间,埃丽诺只能设法减轻她的痛苦,使她不要那么大惊小怪,满腹怨恨。玛丽安提出的第一个问题又引出了更多的细枝未节:
“埃丽诺,这个情况你知道有多久了?他给你写过信没有?”
“我知道有四个月了。露西去年十一月初次来巴顿庄园时,私下告诉我她已订了婚。”
听了这话,玛丽安嘴里没说,目光里却流露出十分惊讶的神气。她诧异地顿了顿,然后惊叹道:
“四个月!这事你已知道四个月啦?”
埃丽诺肯定了这一点。
“什么!我遭到不幸你来照料我的时候,原来自己也有这种伤心事儿?而我还责备你快活呢!”
“实际情况恰恰相反,但是当时还不便于让你知道。”
“四个月!”玛丽安再次嚷道,“这么镇定!这么乐观!你怎么忍得住啊?”
“我觉得我在尽我的本分。我向露西许过诺,一定要保守秘密。因此,我要向她负责,不能透露一点风声;我还要向我的亲友负责,不让他们为我担忧,我无法告诉他们事实真相。”
玛丽安似乎大为感动。
“我常想别再让你和母亲蒙在鼓里,”埃丽诺接着说,“我试过一两次,但是,要想让你们相信,你势必要违背自己的谎言。”
“四个月!可你还爱着他!”
“是的。当时,我不单单爱他,还生怕引起亲友的不安,宁愿不让大家知道我有多么难过。现在,无论想起这件事,还是谈起这件事,我都可以做到无动于衷。我不想让你们为我受苦,我可以向你保证,我已经不再过于悲痛了。我有很多可以聊以自慰的地方。我知道,这次失意决不是由于我自己的轻率引起的,而且我一直尽量忍着,没有宣扬出去。我还替爱德华开脱,说他没有什么大不了的过错。我希望他非常幸福,确信他一贯很尽职,现在虽说可能有点悔恨,最终一定会幸福的。露西并不缺乏理智,这是造成美满姻缘的基础。无论如何,玛丽安,尽管有关对象专一、始终不渝的爱情的概念十妥迷惑人,尽管人们可以说一个人的幸福完全依赖于某一个人,但是这并不意味应该如此--那是不恰当,不可能的。爱德华要娶露西。他要娶一个才貌胜过半数女性的女人。随着时间的推移、习性的改变,他以后会忘记,他曾经认为有人比她强。”
“如果你这样思考问题,”玛丽安说,“如果失去最珍贵的东西可以如此轻易地用别的东西加以弥补,那么你的坚韧不拔和自我克制也许就不足怪了。这就让我更容易理解了。”
“我明白你的意思。你以为我一直无所谓似的。玛丽安,这四个月以来,这桩事一直坠在我的心上,我不能随意向任何一个人倾诉。我知道,一旦和向你和母亲作解释,非但不会让你们做好任何思想准备,反而会引起你们的极大痛苦。告诉我这件事的--而且是强迫我听的,就是先前同爱德华订过婚,毁了我一生前程的那个人。我觉得,她是带着洋洋得意的神气告诉我的。这人对我有疑心,我只好和她对着来,当她讲到我最感兴趣的地方,我偏偏装出似听非听的样子。这事还不止发生过一次,我要三番五次地听好叙说她如何满怀希望,如何欣喜若狂。我知道我与爱德华永远