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CHAPTER XXXIV James Crawley's Pipe Is Put Out The amiable behaviour of Mr. Crawley, and Lady Jane's kind reception of her, highly flattered Miss Briggs, who was enabled to speak a good word for the latter, after the cards of the Southdown family had been presented to Miss Crawley. A Countess's card left personally too for her, Briggs, was not a little pleasing to the poor friendless companion. "What could Lady Southdown mean by leaving a card upon you, I wonder, Miss Briggs?" said the republican Miss Crawley; upon which the companion meekly said "that she hoped there could be no harm in a lady of rank taking notice of a poor gentlewoman," and she put away this card in her work-box amongst her most cherished personal treasures. Furthermore, Miss Briggs explained how she had met Mr. Crawley walking with his cousin and long affianced bride the day before: and she told how kind and gentle-looking the lady was, and what a plain, not to say common, dress she had, all the articles of which, from the bonnet down to the boots, she described and estimated with female accuracy. Miss Crawley allowed Briggs to prattle on without interrupting her too much. As she got well, she was pining for society. Mr. Creamer, her medical man, would not hear of her returning to her old haunts and dissipation in London. The old spinster was too glad to find any companionship at Brighton, and not only were the cards acknowledged the very next day, but Pitt Crawley was graciously invited to come and see his aunt. He came, bringing with him Lady Southdown and her daughter. The dowager did not say a word about the state of Miss Crawley's soul; but talked with much discretion about the weather: about the war and the downfall of the monster Bonaparte: and above all, about doctors, quacks, and the particular merits of Dr. Podgers, whom she then patronised. During their interview Pitt Crawley made a great stroke, and one which showed that, had his diplomatic career not been blighted by early neglect, he might have risen to a high rank in his profession. When the Countess Dowager of Southdown fell foul of the Corsican upstart, as the fashion was in those days, and showed that he was a monster stained with every conceivable crime, a coward and a tyrant not fit to live, one whose fall was predicted, &c., Pitt Crawley suddenly took up the cudgels in favour of the man of Destiny. He described the First Consul as he saw him at Paris at the peace of Amiens; when he, Pitt Crawley, had the gratification of making the acquaintance of the great and good Mr. Fox, a statesman whom, however much he might differ with him, it was impossible not to admire fervently--a statesman who had always had the highest opinion of the Emperor Napoleon. And he spoke in terms of the strongest indignation of the faithless conduct of the allies towards this dethroned monarch, who, after giving himself generously up to their mercy, was consigned to an ignoble and cruel banishment, while a bigoted Popish rabble was tyrannising over France in his stead. This orthodox horror of Romish superstition saved Pitt Crawley in Lady Southdown's opinion, whilst his admiration for Fox and Napoleon raised him immeasurably in Miss Crawley's eyes. Her friendship with that defunct British statesman was mentioned when we first introduced her in this history. A true Whig, Miss Crawley had been in opposition all through the war, and though, to be sure, the downfall of the Emperor did not very much agitate the old lady, or his ill-treatment tend to shorten her life or natural rest, yet Pitt spoke to her heart when he lauded both her idols; and by that single speech made immense progress in her favour. "And what do you think, my dear?" Miss Crawley said to the young lady, for whom she had taken a liking at first sight, as she always did for pretty and modest young people; though it must be owned her affections cooled as rapidly as they rose. Lady Jane blushed very much, and said "that she did not understand politics, which she left to wiser heads than hers; but though Mamma was, no doubt, correct, Mr. Crawley had spoken beautifully." And when the ladies were retiring at the conclusion of their visit, Miss Crawley hoped "Lady Southdown would be so kind as to send her Lady Jane sometimes, if she could be spared to come down and console a poor sick lonely old woman." This promise was graciously accorded, and they separated upon great terms of amity. "Don't let Lady Southdown come again, Pitt," said the old lady. "She is stupid and pompous, like all your mother's family, whom I never could endure. But bring that nice good-natured little Jane as often as ever you please." Pitt promised that he would do so. He did not tell the Countess of Southdown what opinion his aunt had formed of her Ladyship, who, on the contrary, thought that she had made a most delightful and majestic impression on Miss Crawley. And so, nothing loth to comfort a sick lady, and perhaps not sorry in her heart to be freed now and again from the dreary spouting of the Reverend Bartholomew Irons, and the serious toadies who gathered round the footstool of the pompous Countess, her mamma, Lady Jane became a pretty constant visitor to Miss Crawley, accompanied her in her drives, and solaced many of her evenings. She was so naturally good and soft, that even Firkin was not jealous of her; and the gentle Briggs thought her friend was less cruel to her when kind Lady Jane was by. Towards her Ladyship Miss Crawley's manners were charming. The old spinster told her a thousand anecdotes about her youth, talking to her in a very different strain from that in which she had been accustomed to converse with the godless little Rebecca; for there was that in Lady Jane's innocence which rendered light talking impertinence before her, and Miss Crawley was too much of a gentlewoman to offend such purity. The young lady herself had never received kindness except from this old spinster, and her brother and father: and she repaid Miss Crawley's engoument by artless sweetness and friendship. In the autumn evenings (when Rebecca was flaunting at Paris, the gayest among the gay conquerors there, and our Amelia, our dear wounded Amelia, ah! where was she?) Lady Jane would be sitting in Miss Crawley's drawing-room singing sweetly to her, in the twilight, her little simple songs and hymns, while the sun was setting and the sea was roaring on the beach. The old spinster used to wake up when these ditties ceased, and ask for more. As for Briggs, and the quantity of tears of happiness which she now shed as she pretended to knit, and looked out at the splendid ocean darkling before the windows, and the lamps of heaven beginning more brightly to shine-- who, I say can measure the happiness and sensibility of Briggs? Pitt meanwhile in the dining-room, with a pamphlet on the Corn Laws or a Missionary Register by his side, took that kind of recreation which suits romantic and unromantic men after dinner. He sipped Madeira: built castles in the air: thought himself a fine fellow: felt himself much more in love with Jane than he had been any time these seven years, during which their liaison had lasted without the slightest impatience on Pitt's part--and slept a good deal. When the time for coffee came, Mr. Bowls used to enter in a noisy manner, and summon Squire Pitt, who would be found in the dark very busy with his pamphlet. "I wish, my love, I could get somebody to play piquet with me," Miss Crawley said one night when this functionary made his appearance with the candles and the coffee. "Poor Briggs can no more play than an owl, she is so stupid" (the spinster always took an opportunity of abusing Briggs before the servants); "and I think I should sleep better if I had my game." At this Lady Jane blushed to the tips of her little ears, and down to the ends of her pretty fingers; and when Mr. Bowls had quitted the room, and the door was quite shut, she said: "Miss Crawley, I can play a little. I used to--to play a little with poor dear papa." "Come and kiss me. Come and kiss me this instant, you dear good little soul," cried Miss Crawley in an ecstasy: and in this picturesque and friendly occupation Mr. Pitt found the old lady and the young one, when he came upstairs with him pamphlet in his hand. How she did blush all the evening, that poor Lady Jane! It must not be imagined that Mr. Pitt Crawley's artifices escaped the attention of his dear relations at the Rectory at Queen's Crawley. Hampshire and Sussex lie very close together, and Mrs. Bute had friends in the latter county who took care to inform her of all, and a great deal more than all, that passed at Miss Crawley's house at Brighton. Pitt was there more and more. He did not come for months together to the Hall, where his abominable old father abandoned himself completely to rum-and-water, and the odious society of the Horrocks family. Pitt's success rendered the Rector's family furious, and Mrs. Bute regretted more (though she confessed less) than ever her monstrous fault in so insulting Miss Briggs, and in being so haughty and parsimonious to Bowls and Firkin, that she had not a single person left in Miss Crawley's household to give her information of what took place there. "It was all Bute's collar- bone," she persisted in saying; "if that had not broke, I never would have left her. I am a martyr to duty and to your odious unclerical habit of hunting, Bute." "Hunting; nonsense! It was you that frightened her, Barbara," the divine interposed. "You're a clever woman, but you've got a devil of a temper; and you're a screw with your money, Barbara." "You'd have been screwed in gaol, Bute, if I had not kept your money." "I know I would, my dear," said the Rector, good-naturedly. "You ARE a clever woman, but you manage too well, you know": and the pious man consoled himself with a big glass of port. "What the deuce can she find in that spooney of a Pitt Crawley?" he continued. "The fellow has not pluck enough to say Bo to a goose. I remember when Rawdon, who is a man, and be hanged to him, used to flog him round the stables as if he was a whipping-top: and Pitt would go howling home to his ma--ha, ha! Why, either of my boys would whop him with one hand. Jim says he's remembered at Oxford as Miss Crawley still--the spooney. "I say, Barbara," his reverence continued, after a pause. "What?" said Barbara, who was biting her nails, and drumming the table. "I say, why not send Jim over to Brighton to see if he can do anything with the old lady. He's very near getting his degree, you know. He's only been plucked twice--so was I--but he's had the advantages of Oxford and a university education. He knows some of the best chaps there. He pulls stroke in the Boniface boat. He's a handsome feller. D--- it, ma'am, let's put him on the old woman, hey, and tell him to thrash Pitt if he says anything. Ha, ha, ha! "Jim might go down and see her, certainly," the housewife said; adding with a sigh, "If we could but get one of the girls into the house; but she could never endure them, because they are not pretty!" Those unfortunate and well-educated women made themselves heard from the neighbouring drawing-room, where they were thrumming away, with hard fingers, an elaborate music-piece on the piano- forte, as their mother spoke; and indeed, they were at music, or at backboard, or at geography, or at history, the whole day long. But what avail all these accomplishments, in Vanity Fair, to girls who are short, poor, plain, and have a bad complexion? Mrs. Bute could think of nobody but the Curate to take one of them off her hands; and Jim coming in from the stable at this minute, through the parlour window, with a short pipe stuck in his oilskin cap, he and his father fell to talking about odds on the St. Leger, and the colloquy between the Rector and his wife ended. Mrs. Bute did not augur much good to the cause from the sending of her son James as an ambassador, and saw him depart in rather a despairing mood. Nor did the young fellow himself, when told what his mission was to be, expect much pleasure or benefit from it; but he was consoled by the thought that possibly the old lady would give him some handsome remembrance of her, which would pay a few of his most pressing bills at the commencement of the ensuing Oxford term, and so took his place by the coach from Southampton, and was safely landed at Brighton on the same evening? with his portmanteau, his favourite bull-dog Towzer, and an immense basket of farm and garden produce, from the dear Rectory folks to the dear Miss Crawley. Considering it was too late to disturb the invalid lady on the first night of his arrival, he put up at an inn, and did not wait upon Miss Crawley until a late hour in the noon of next day. James Crawley, when his aunt had last beheld him, was a gawky lad, at that uncomfortable age when the voice varies between an unearthly treble and a preternatural bass; when the face not uncommonly blooms out with appearances for which Rowland's Kalydor is said to act as a cure; when boys are seen to shave furtively with their sister's scissors, and the sight of other young women produces intolerable sensations of terror in them; when the great hands and ankles protrude a long way from garments which have grown too tight for them; when their presence after dinner is at once frightful to the ladies, who are whispering in the twilight in the drawing-room, and inexpressibly odious to the gentlemen over the mahogany, who are restrained from freedom of intercourse and delightful interchange of wit by the presence of that gawky innocence; when, at the conclusion of the second glass, papa says, "Jack, my boy, go out and see if the evening holds up," and the youth, willing to be free, yet hurt at not being yet a man, quits the incomplete banquet. James, then a hobbadehoy, was now become a young man, having had the benefits of a university education, and acquired the inestimable polish which is gained by living in a fast set at a small college, and contracting debts, and being rusticated, and being plucked. He was a handsome lad, however, when he came to present himself to his aunt at Brighton, and good looks were always a title to the fickle old lady's favour. Nor did his blushes and awkwardness take away from it: she was pleased with these healthy tokens of the young gentleman's ingenuousness. He said "he had come down for a couple of days to see a man of his college, and--and to pay my respects to you, Ma'am, and my father's and mother's, who hope you are well." Pitt was in the room with Miss Crawley when the lad was announced, and looked very blank when his name was mentioned. The old lady had plenty of humour, and enjoyed her correct nephew's perplexity. She asked after all the people at the Rectory with great interest; and said she was thinking of paying them a visit. She praised the lad to his face, and said he was well-grown and very much improved, and that it was a pity his sisters had not some of his good looks; and finding, on inquiry, that he had taken up his quarters at an hotel, would not hear of his stopping there, but bade Mr. Bowls send for Mr. James Crawley's things instantly; "and hark ye, Bowls," she added, with great graciousness, "you will have the goodness to pay Mr. James's bill." She flung Pitt a look of arch triumph, which caused that diplomatist almost to choke with envy. Much as he had ingratiated himself with his aunt, she had never yet invited him to stay under her roof, and here was a young whipper-snapper, who at first sight was made welcome there. "I beg your pardon, sir," says Bowls, advancing with a profound bow; "what 'otel, sir, shall Thomas fetch the luggage from?" "O, dam," said young James, starting up, as if in some alarm, "I'll go." "What!" said Miss Crawley. "The Tom Cribb's Arms," said James, blushing deeply. Miss Crawley burst out laughing at this title. Mr. Bowls gave one abrupt guffaw, as a confidential servant of the family, but choked the rest of the volley; the diplomatist only smiled. "I--I didn't know any better," said James, looking down. "I've never been here before; it was the coachman told me." The young story- teller! The fact is, that on the Southampton coach, the day previous, James Crawley had met the Tutbury Pet, who was coming to Brighton to make a match with the Rottingdean Fibber; and enchanted by the Pet's conversation, had passed the evening in company with that scientific man and his friends, at the inn in question. "I--I'd best go and settle the score," James continued. "Couldn't think of asking you, Ma'am," he added, generously. This delicacy made his aunt laugh the more. "Go and settle the bill, Bowls," she said, with a wave of her hand, "and bring it to me." Poor lady, she did not know what she had done! "There--there's a little dawg," said James, looking frightfully guilty. "I'd best go for him. He bites footmen's calves." All the party cried out with laughing at this description; even Briggs and Lady Jane, who was sitting mute during the interview between Miss Crawley and her nephew: and Bowls, without a word, quitted the room. Still, by way of punishing her elder nephew, Miss Crawley persisted in being gracious to the young Oxonian. There were no limits to her kindness or her compliments when they once began. She told Pitt he might come to dinner, and insisted that James should accompany her in her drive, and paraded him solemnly up and down the cliff, on the back seat of the barouche. During all this excursion, she condescended to say civil things to him: she quoted Italian and French poetry to the poor bewildered lad, and persisted that he was a fine scholar, and was perfectly sure he would gain a gold medal, and be a Senior Wrangler. "Haw, haw," laughed James, encouraged by these compliments; "Senior Wrangler, indeed; that's at the other shop." "What is the other shop, my dear child?" said the lady. "Senior Wranglers at Cambridge, not Oxford," said the scholar, with a knowing air; and would probably have been more confidential, but that suddenly there appeared on the cliff in a tax-cart, drawn by a bang-up pony, dressed in white flannel coats, with mother-of-pearl buttons, his friends the Tutbury Pet and the Rottingdean Fibber, with three other gentlemen of their acquaintance, who all saluted poor James there in the carriage as he sate. This incident damped the ingenuous youth's spirits, and no word of yea or nay could he be induced to utter during the rest of the drive. On his return he found his room prepared, and his portmanteau ready, and might have remarked that Mr. Bowls's countenance, when the latter conducted him to his apartments, wore a look of gravity, wonder, and compassion. But the thought of Mr. Bowls did not enter his head. He was deploring the dreadful predicament in which he found himself, in a house full of old women, jabbering French and Italian, and talking poetry to him. "Reglarly up a tree, by jingo!" exclaimed the modest boy, who could not face the gentlest of her sex--not even Briggs--when she began to talk to him; whereas, put him at Iffley Lock, and he could out-slang the boldest bargeman. At dinner, James appeared choking in a white neckcloth, and had the honour of handing my Lady Jane downstairs, while Briggs and Mr. Crawley followed afterwards, conducting the old lady, with her apparatus of bundles, and shawls, and cushions. Half of Briggs's time at dinner was spent in superintending the invalid's comfort, and in cutting up chicken for her fat spaniel. James did not talk much, but he made a point of asking all the ladies to drink wine, and accepted Mr. Crawley's challenge, and consumed the greater part of a bottle of champagne which Mr. Bowls was ordered to produce in his honour. The ladies having withdrawn, and the two cousins being left together, Pitt, the ex-diplomatist, be came very communicative and friendly. He asked after James's career at college--what his prospects in life were--hoped heartily he would get on; and, in a word, was frank and amiable. James's tongue unloosed with the port, and he told his cousin his life, his prospects, his debts, his troubles at the little-go, and his rows with the proctors, filling rapidly from the bottles before him, and flying from Port to Madeira with joyous activity. "The chief pleasure which my aunt has," said Mr. Crawley, filling his glass, "is that people should do as they like in her house. This is Liberty Hall, James, and you can't do Miss Crawley a greater kindness than to do as you please, and ask for what you will. I know you have all sneered at me in the country for being a Tory. Miss Crawley is liberal enough to suit any fancy. She is a Republican in principle, and despises everything like rank or title." "Why are you going to marry an Earl's daughter?" said James. "My dear friend, remember it is not poor Lady Jane's fault that she is well born," Pitt replied, with a courtly air. "She cannot help being a lady. Besides, I am a Tory, you know." "Oh, as for that," said Jim, "there's nothing like old blood; no, dammy, nothing like it. I'm none of your radicals. I know what it is to be a gentleman, dammy. See the chaps in a boat-race; look at the fellers in a fight; aye, look at a dawg killing rats--which is it wins? the good-blooded ones. Get some more port, Bowls, old boy, whilst I buzz this bottle-here. What was I asaying?" "I think you were speaking of dogs killing rats," Pitt remarked mildly, handing his cousin the decanter to "buzz." "Killing rats was I? Well, Pitt, are you a sporting man? Do you want to see a dawg as CAN kill a rat? If you do, come down with me to Tom Corduroy's, in Castle Street Mews, and I'll show you such a bull- terrier as--Pooh! gammon," cried James, bursting out laughing at his own absurdity--"YOU don't care about a dawg or rat; it's all nonsense. I'm blest if I think you know the difference between a dog and a duck." "No; by the way," Pitt continued with increased blandness, "it was about blood you were talking, and the personal advantages which people derive from patrician birth. Here's the fresh bottle." "Blood's the word," said James, gulping the ruby fluid down. "Nothing like blood, sir, in hosses, dawgs, AND men. Why, only last term, just before I was rusticated, that is, I mean just before I had the measles, ha, ha--there was me and Ringwood of Christchurch, Bob Ringwood, Lord Cinqbars' son, having our beer at the Bell at Blenheim, when the Banbury bargeman offered to fight either of us for a bowl of punch. I couldn't. My arm was in a sling; couldn't even take the drag down--a brute of a mare of mine had fell with me only two days before, out with the Abingdon, and I thought my arm was broke. Well, sir, I couldn't finish him, but Bob had his coat off at once--he stood up to the Banbury man for three minutes, and polished him off in four rounds easy. Gad, how he did drop, sir, and what was it? Blood, sir, all blood." "You don't drink, James," the ex-attache continued. "In my time at Oxford, the men passed round the bottle a little quicker than you young fellows seem to do." "Come, come," said James, putting his hand to his nose and winking at his cousin with a pair of vinous eyes, "no jokes, old boy; no trying it on on me. You want to trot me out, but it's no go. In vino veritas, old boy. Mars, Bacchus, Apollo virorum, hey? I wish my aunt would send down some of this to the governor; it's a precious good tap." "You had better ask her," Machiavel continued, "or make the best of your time now. What says the bard? 'Nunc vino pellite curas, Cras ingens iterabimus aequor,'" and the Bacchanalian, quoting the above with a House of Commons air, tossed off nearly a thimbleful of wine with an immense flourish of his glass. At the Rectory, when the bottle of port wine was opened after dinner, the young ladies had each a glass from a bottle of currant wine. Mrs. Bute took one glass of port, honest James had a couple commonly, but as his father grew very sulky if he made further inroads on the bottle, the good lad generally refrained from trying for more, and subsided either into the currant wine, or to some private gin-and-water in the stables, which he enjoyed in the company of the coachman and his pipe. At Oxford, the quantity of wine was unlimited, but the quality was inferior: but when quantity and quality united as at his aunt's house, James showed that he could appreciate them indeed; and hardly needed any of his cousin's encouragement in draining off the second bottle supplied by Mr. Bowls. When the time for coffee came, however, and for a return to the ladies, of whom he stood in awe, the young gentleman's agreeable frankness left him, and he relapsed into his usual surly timidity; contenting himself by saying yes and no, by scowling at Lady Jane, and by upsetting one cup of coffee during the evening. If he did not speak he yawned in a pitiable manner, and his presence threw a damp upon the modest proceedings of the evening, for Miss Crawley and Lady Jane at their piquet, and Miss Briggs at her work, felt that his eyes were wildly fixed on them, and were uneasy under that maudlin look. "He seems a very silent, awkward, bashful lad," said Miss Crawley to Mr. Pitt. "He is more communicative in men's society than with ladies," Machiavel dryly replied: perhaps rather disappointed that the port wine had not made Jim speak more. He had spent the early part of the next morning in writing home to his mother a most flourishing account of his reception by Miss Crawley. But ah! he little knew what evils the day was bringing for him, and how short his reign of favour was destined to be. A circumstance which Jim had forgotten--a trivial but fatal circumstance--had taken place at the Cribb's Arms on the night before he had come to his aunt's house. It was no other than this-- Jim, who was always of a generous disposition, and when in his cups especially hospitable, had in the course of the night treated the Tutbury champion and the Rottingdean man, and their friends, twice or thrice to the refreshment of gin-and-water--so that no less than eighteen glasses of that fluid at eightpence per glass were charged in Mr. James Crawley's bill. It was not the amount of eightpences, but the quantity of gin which told fatally against poor James's character, when his aunt's butler, Mr. Bowls, went down at his mistress's request to pay the young gentleman's bill. The landlord, fearing lest the account should be refused altogether, swore solemnly that the young gent had consumed personally every farthing's worth of the liquor: and Bowls paid the bill finally, and showed it on his return home to Mrs. Firkin, who was shocked at the frightful prodigality of gin; and took the bill to Miss Briggs as accountant-general; who thought it her duty to mention the circumstance to her principal, Miss Crawley. Had he drunk a dozen bottles of claret, the old spinster could have pardoned him. Mr. Fox and Mr. Sheridan drank claret. Gentlemen drank claret. But eighteen glasses of gin consumed among boxers in an ignoble pot-house--it was an odious crime and not to be pardoned readily. Everything went against the lad: he came home perfumed from the stables, whither he had been to pay his dog Towzer a visit-- and whence he was going to take his friend out for an airing, when he met Miss Crawley and her wheezy Blenheim spaniel, which Towzer would have eaten up had not the Blenheim fled squealing to the protection of Miss Briggs, while the atrocious master of the bull- dog stood laughing at the horrible persecution. This day too the unlucky boy's modesty had likewise forsaken him. He was lively and facetious at dinner. During the repast he levelled one or two jokes against Pitt Crawley: he drank as much wine as upon the previous day; and going quite unsuspiciously to the drawing-room, began to entertain the ladies there with some choice Oxford stories. He described the different pugilistic qualities of Molyneux and Dutch Sam, offered playfully to give Lady Jane the odds upon the Tutbury Pet against the Rottingdean man, or take them, as her Ladyship chose: and crowned the pleasantry by proposing to back himself against his cousin Pitt Crawley, either with or without the gloves. "And that's a fair offer, my buck," he said, with a loud laugh, slapping Pitt on the shoulder, "and my father told me to make it too, and he'll go halves in the bet, ha, ha!" So saying, the engaging youth nodded knowingly at poor Miss Briggs, and pointed his thumb over his shoulder at Pitt Crawley in a jocular and exulting manner. Pitt was not pleased altogether perhaps, but still not unhappy in the main. Poor Jim had his laugh out: and staggered across the room with his aunt's candle, when the old lady moved to retire, and offered to salute her with the blandest tipsy smile: and he took his own leave and went upstairs to his bedroom perfectly satisfied with himself, and with a pleased notion that his aunt's money would be left to him in preference to his father and all the rest of the family. Once up in the bedroom, one would have thought he could not make matters worse; and yet this unlucky boy did. The moon was shining very pleasantly out on the sea, and Jim, attracted to the window by the romantic appearance of the ocean and the heavens, thought he would further enjoy them while smoking. Nobody would smell the tobacco, he thought, if he cunningly opened the window and kept his head and pipe in the fresh air. This he did: but being in an excited state, poor Jim had forgotten that his door was open all this time, so that the breeze blowing inwards and a fine thorough draught being established, the clouds of tobacco were carried downstairs, and arrived with quite undiminished fragrance to Miss Crawley and Miss Briggs. The pipe of tobacco finished the business: and the Bute-Crawleys never knew how many thousand pounds it cost them. Firkin rushed downstairs to Bowls who was reading out the "Fire and the Frying Pan" to his aide-de-camp in a loud and ghostly voice. The dreadful secret was told to him by Firkin with so frightened a look, that for the first moment Mr. Bowls and his young man thought that robbers were in the house, the legs of whom had probably been discovered by the woman under Miss Crawley's bed. When made aware of the fact, however--to rush upstairs at three steps at a time to enter the unconscious James's apartment, calling out, "Mr. James," in a voice stifled with alarm, and to cry, "For Gawd's sake, sir, stop that 'ere pipe," was the work of a minute with Mr. Bowls. "O, Mr. James, what 'AVE you done!" he said in a voice of the deepest pathos, as he threw the implement out of the window. "What 'ave you done, sir! Missis can't abide 'em." "Missis needn't smoke," said James with a frantic misplaced laugh, and thought the whole matter an excellent joke. But his feelings were very different in the morning, when Mr. Bowls's young man, who operated upon Mr. James's boots, and brought him his hot water to shave that beard which he was so anxiously expecting, handed a note in to Mr. James in bed, in the handwriting of Miss Briggs. "Dear sir," it said, "Miss Crawley has passed an exceedingly disturbed night, owing to the shocking manner in which the house has been polluted by tobacco; Miss Crawley bids me say she regrets that she is too unwell to see you before you go--and above all that she ever induced you to remove from the ale-house, where she is sure you will be much more comfortable during the rest of your stay at Brighton." And herewith honest James's career as a candidate for his aunt's favour ended. He had in fact, and without knowing it, done what he menaced to do. He had fought his cousin Pitt with the gloves. Where meanwhile was he who had been once first favourite for this race for money? Becky and Rawdon, as we have seen, were come together after Waterloo, and were passing the winter of 1815 at Paris in great splendour and gaiety. Rebecca was a good economist, and the price poor Jos Sedley had paid for her two horses was in itself sufficient to keep their little establishment afloat for a year, at the least; there was no occasion to turn into money "my pistols, the same which I shot Captain Marker," or the gold dressing-case, or the cloak lined with sable. Becky had it made into a pelisse for herself, in which she rode in the Bois de Boulogne to the admiration of all: and you should have seen the scene between her and her delighted husband, whom she rejoined after the army had entered Cambray, and when she unsewed herself, and let out of her dress all those watches, knick-knacks, bank-notes, cheques, and valuables, which she had secreted in the wadding, previous to her meditated flight from Brussels! Tufto was charmed, and Rawdon roared with delighted laughter, and swore that she was better than any play he ever saw, by Jove. And the way in which she jockeyed Jos, and which she described with infinite fun, carried up his delight to a pitch of quite insane enthusiasm. He believed in his wife as much as the French soldiers in Napoleon. Her success in Paris was remarkable. All the French ladies voted her charming. She spoke their language admirably. She adopted at once their grace, their liveliness, their manner. Her husband was stupid certainly--all English are stupid--and, besides, a dull husband at Paris is always a point in a lady's favour. He was the heir of the rich and spirituelle Miss Crawley, whose house had been open to so many of the French noblesse during the emigration. They received the colonel's wife in their own hotels--"Why," wrote a great lady to Miss Crawley, who had bought her lace and trinkets at the Duchess's own price, and given her many a dinner during the pinching times after the Revolution--"Why does not our dear Miss come to her nephew and niece, and her attached friends in Paris? All the world raffoles of the charming Mistress and her espiegle beauty. Yes, we see in her the grace, the charm, the wit of our dear friend Miss Crawley! The King took notice of her yesterday at the Tuileries, and we are all jealous of the attention which Monsieur pays her. If you could have seen the spite of a certain stupid Miladi Bareacres (whose eagle-beak and toque and feathers may be seen peering over the heads of all assemblies) when Madame, the Duchess of Angouleme, the august daughter and companion of kings, desired especially to be presented to Mrs. Crawley, as your dear daughter and protegee, and thanked her in the name of France, for all your benevolence towards our unfortunates during their exile! She is of all the societies, of all the balls--of the balls--yes--of the dances, no; and yet how interesting and pretty this fair creature looks surrounded by the homage of the men, and so soon to be a mother! To hear her speak of you, her protectress, her mother, would bring tears to the eyes of ogres. How she loves you! how we all love our admirable, our respectable Miss Crawley!" It is to be feared that this letter of the Parisian great lady did not by any means advance Mrs. Becky's interest with her admirable, her respectable, relative. On the contrary, the fury of the old spinster was beyond bounds, when she found what was Rebecca's situation, and how audaciously she had made use of Miss Crawley's name, to get an entree into Parisian society. Too much shaken in mind and body to compose a letter in the French language in reply to that of her correspondent, she dictated to Briggs a furious answer in her own native tongue, repudiating Mrs. Rawdon Crawley altogether, and warning the public to beware of her as a most artful and dangerous person. But as Madame the Duchess of X--had only been twenty years in England, she did not understand a single word of the language, and contented herself by informing Mrs. Rawdon Crawley at their next meeting, that she had received a charming letter from that chere Mees, and that it was full of benevolent things for Mrs. Crawley, who began seriously to have hopes that the spinster would relent. Meanwhile, she was the gayest and most admired of Englishwomen: and had a little European congress on her reception-night. Prussians and Cossacks, Spanish and English--all the world was at Paris during this famous winter: to have seen the stars and cordons in Rebecca's humble saloon would have made all Baker Street pale with envy. Famous warriors rode by her carriage in the Bois, or crowded her modest little box at the Opera. Rawdon was in the highest spirits. There were no duns in Paris as yet: there were parties every day at Very's or Beauvilliers'; play was plentiful and his luck good. Tufto perhaps was sulky. Mrs. Tufto had come over to Paris at her own invitation, and besides this contretemps, there were a score of generals now round Becky's chair, and she might take her choice of a dozen bouquets when she went to the play. Lady Bareacres and the chiefs of the English society, stupid and irreproachable females, writhed with anguish at the success of the little upstart Becky, whose poisoned jokes quivered and rankled in their chaste breasts. But she had all the men on her side. She fought the women with indomitable courage, and they could not talk scandal in any tongue but their own. So in fetes, pleasures, and prosperity, the winter of 1815-16 passed away with Mrs. Rawdon Crawley, who accommodated herself to polite life as if her ancestors had been people of fashion for centuries past--and who from her wit, talent, and energy, indeed merited a place of honour in Vanity Fair. In the early spring of 1816, Galignani's Journal contained the following announcement in an interesting corner of the paper: "On the 26th of March--the Lady of Lieutenant-Colonel Crawley, of the Life Guards Green--of a son and heir." This event was copied into the London papers, out of which Miss Briggs read the statement to Miss Crawley, at breakfast, at Brighton. The intelligence, expected as it might have been, caused a crisis in the affairs of the Crawley family. The spinster's rage rose to its height, and sending instantly for Pitt, her nephew, and for the Lady Southdown, from Brunswick Square, she requested an immediate celebration of the marriage which had been so long pending between the two families. And she announced that it was her intention to allow the young couple a thousand a year during her lifetime, at the expiration of which the bulk of her property would be settled upon her nephew and her dear niece, Lady Jane Crawley. Waxy came down to ratify the deeds--Lord Southdown gave away his sister--she was married by a Bishop, and not by the Rev. Bartholomew Irons--to the disappointment of the irregular prelate. When they were married, Pitt would have liked to take a hymeneal tour with his bride, as became people of their condition. But the affection of the old lady towards Lady Jane had grown so strong, that she fairly owned she could not part with her favourite. Pitt and his wife came therefore and lived with Miss Crawley: and (greatly to the annoyance of poor Pitt, who conceived himself a most injured character--being subject to the humours of his aunt on one side, and of his mother-in-law on the other) Lady Southdown, from her neighbouring house, reigned over the whole family--Pitt, Lady Jane, Miss Crawley, Briggs, Bowls, Firkin, and all. She pitilessly dosed them with her tracts and her medicine, she dismissed Creamer, she installed Rodgers, and soon stripped Miss Crawley of even the semblance of authority. The poor soul grew so timid that she actually left off bullying Briggs any more, and clung to her niece, more fond and terrified every day. Peace to thee, kind and selfish, vain and generous old heathen!--We shall see thee no more. Let us hope that Lady Jane supported her kindly, and led her with gentle hand out of the busy struggle of Vanity Fair. 第 三 十 四 章 詹姆士.克劳莱的烟斗灭了 布立葛丝小姐看着克劳莱先生的态度那么客气,吉恩小姐又待她热和,觉得受宠若惊.等到莎吴塞唐家里的名片送到克劳莱小姐面前,她就找机会给吉恩小姐说了些好话.她,布立葛丝,原是个失亲少友给人做伴儿的女人,一位伯爵夫人竟肯给她一张名片,岂不是一件大可得意的事吗!克劳莱小姐向来主张世法平等,说道:"我倒不懂了,布立葛丝小姐,莎吴塞唐夫人还特特的留个名片给你!这是什么意思呢?"她的女伴低心小胆的答道:"我想我虽然穷苦,出身可是清白的,像她这样有地位的贵妇人对我赏脸,大概没有什么妨碍吧."她把这名片藏在针线盒里,和其他最珍贵的宝贝搁在一起.她又说起前一天在路上碰见克劳莱先生带着他的表妹,......也就是早就放定的未婚妻......一起散步的事.她称赞那位小姐待人怎么和蔼,样子怎么温柔,穿著怎么朴素......简直一点儿不讲究.接着她把吉恩小姐的穿戴从头上的帽子到脚上的靴子细细描写了一番,又计算这些东西值多少钱,那份儿细致精密,真是女人的特色. 克劳莱小姐让布立葛丝滔滔不绝的讲话,自己没大插嘴.她身体渐渐的复原,只想有人来说说话.她的医生克里默先生坚决反对她回老家,说是伦敦的放荡生活对于她极不相宜.因此老小姐巴不得在布拉依顿找些朋友,第二天就去投了名片回拜,并且很客气的请毕脱.克劳莱去看望看望他的姑妈.他果然来了,还带着莎吴塞唐夫人和她小女儿.老夫人小心得很,对于克劳莱小姐的灵魂一句都不提,只谈到天气,谈到战争,谈到那混世魔王拿破仑怎么失败.可是说得最多的还是关于医生,江湖骗子,还有她当时下顾的朴杰医生的种种好处. 他们在一起说话的时候,毕脱.克劳莱耍了一下子聪明不过的手段,由此可见若是他早年有人提携,事业上没受挫折的话,做起外交官来一定能出头露角.莎吴塞唐老太太随着当时人的口气,痛骂那一朝得志的科西嘉小人,说他是个无恶不作的魔王,又暴虐,又没胆子,简直的不配做人;他的失败,是大家早就料到的.她那么大发议论的当儿,毕脱.克劳莱忽然倒过去帮着那"命运的使者"(拿破仑自称命运的使者(The Man of Destiny),表示他是命运之神派来干大事的.)说话.他描写当年拿破仑做大执政官,在巴黎主持亚眠昂士和约时的风度.也就在那时,他,毕脱.克劳莱,十分荣幸的结识了福克斯先生.福克斯先生为人正直,是个了不起的政治家,他自己虽然和他政见不同,可是对于他却不能不热诚的爱戴......福克斯先生是向来佩服拿破仑皇帝的.毕脱痛骂同盟国对于这位下了台的皇帝不守信义.他说拿破仑那么豪爽的向他们投诚,他们竟然不给他留面子,狠下心把他放逐到国外去,反让一群偏激顽固的天主教匪徒在法国内部横行不法. 他痛恨迷信的天主教,足见他信仰纯正,莎吴塞唐夫人觉得他还不错;他那么钦佩福克斯和拿破仑,又使克劳莱小姐对他十分看得起.我最初在书里介绍克劳莱小姐的时候,曾经说起她和已故的政治家是好朋友.她是个忠诚的亲法派,在这次战争中一直反对政府的措置.法国皇帝打了败仗并没有叫老太太觉得怎么激动,他受到的虐待也没有使她减寿或是睡不着觉,可是毕脱对她两个偶像的一顿夸奖,正碰在她心坎儿上.这一席话,就帮他得了老太太的欢心. 克劳莱小姐对吉恩小姐说道:"亲爱的,你的意思怎么样?"她向来最喜欢相貌美丽态度端庄的女孩儿,一见吉恩小姐就觉得合意.说句实话,她待人向来是这样的,亲热得快,冷淡得也快. 吉恩小姐红了脸说"她不懂政治,这些事情只好让给比她聪明的人去管.她认为妈妈说的一定不错;克劳莱先生的口才也很了不起".伯爵夫人和小姐起身告辞的时候;克劳莱小姐"恳求莎吴塞唐夫人不时让吉恩小姐到她家里走动走动.如果吉恩小姐能够腾出工夫来,给她这么个孤苦伶仃的病老婆子做伴儿的话,她非常欢迎".客人们很客气的答应了.分手的时候两边都非常亲热. 老太太对毕脱说:"毕脱,以后别让莎吴塞唐夫人再来.她这人又笨又爱摆架子.你外婆家的人全是这样,我顶讨厌的.可是吉恩这小姑娘脾气好,招人疼,你爱什么时候带她过来我都欢迎."毕脱答应了.他并没有把姑母对于伯爵夫人的批评告诉她本人;伯爵夫人还以为自己的态度庄重愉快,在克劳莱小姐心上留了个极好的印象. 吉恩小姐一来很愿意给病人解闷;二来在她自己家里,白托罗缪.亚哀恩士牧师老是絮絮叨叨讲他那套闷死人的道理,此外还有许多吃教会饭的人跟在她妈妈那神气活现的伯爵夫人身边拍马屁,所以她巴不得有机会躲出门去,竟时常去拜访克劳莱小姐.她白天陪她坐着车子兜风,晚上替她消遣解闷.她天生的温柔敦厚,连孚金也不妒忌她.软弱的布立葛丝觉得只要这位好心的吉恩小姐在场,她的朋友说话也比较留情.克劳莱小姐跟吉恩小姐十分要好,搬出许多自己年轻时的轶事来讲给她听.老小姐对吉恩说起话来,那口气跟她以前和该死的利蓓加谈天的当儿截然不同.吉恩小姐这人天真烂漫,对她说轻薄话就好像是故意顶撞,克劳莱小姐是个顾体统的人,不肯污了她的耳朵.吉恩小姐呢,也是向来没人疼顾的,关心她的除了父亲和哥哥之外,再就是这老小姐了.克劳莱小姐对她一片痴情,她也掏出真心来和老小姐交朋友. 那年秋天(利蓓加在巴黎得意极了,在一大批风流作乐的胜利的英国人里面,数她最出风头.还有咱们的爱米丽亚,那苦恼的亲爱的爱米丽亚,唉!她在哪里啊?)......那年秋天,每到傍晚时分,太阳下去了,天色渐渐昏暗,海浪哗喇喇的打在岸上,吉恩小姐坐在克劳莱小姐的客厅里,唱些短歌和圣诗给她听,唱得十分悦耳.歌声一停,老小姐便从睡梦里醒过来求她再唱几支.布立葛丝假装在织毛线,快乐得直掉眼泪.她望着窗外浩荡的大海颜色一层层变黑,天空里的月亮星星却逐渐明亮起来,心里那份儿高兴感动,谁也度量不出来. 毕脱坐在饭间里歇着,旁边搁着几本买卖玉蜀黍的法令和传教士的刊物一类的书报.所有的男人,不管他的脾气性格儿浪漫不浪漫,吃过饭都爱享这份清福.他一面喝西班牙白酒,一面梦想着将来的作为,觉得自己是个挺不错的家伙.近来他好像很爱吉恩......比七年来任何时候都爱她.在这段订婚期间,毕脱从来没有着急想结婚.除了喝酒想心思以外,他饭后还打盹儿.到喝咖啡的时候,鲍尔斯先生砰砰訇訇的走来请他,总瞧见他在黑地里忙着看书呢. 有一晚,鲍尔斯拿着咖啡和蜡烛进来,克劳莱小姐便道:"宝贝儿,可惜没人跟我斗牌.可怜的布立葛丝蠢得要死,那里会玩牌."(老小姐一有机会,便在佣人面前责骂布立葛丝);"我觉得玩一会儿晚上可以睡得好些." 吉恩小姐听了满面通红,直红到小耳朵尖儿上,末后连她漂亮的小指头尖儿也红了.鲍尔斯出去把门关严之后,她便开口说道:"克劳莱小姐,我会一点儿.我从前常常陪我可怜的爸爸斗......斗牌." 克劳莱小姐高兴得无可无不可,嚷道:"过来吻我一下子.亲爱的小宝贝儿,马上过来吻我一下子!"毕脱先生拿着小册子上楼,看见她们老少两人厮搂厮抱,像画儿里画的一样.可怜的吉恩小姐那天整个黄昏羞答答的脸红个不停. 读者别以为毕脱.克劳莱先生的计策会逃过他至亲骨肉的眼睛.他的所作所为,女王的克劳莱牧师家里的人全都知道.汉泊郡和塞赛克斯相离不远,在塞赛克斯地方别德太太自有朋友,会把克劳莱小姐布拉依顿的公馆里所发生的一切事情(还加上许多没有发生的事情),都报告给她听.毕脱去得越来越勤了.他连着几个月不回老家.在大厦,他那可恶的父亲越发堕落,成日家喝喝搀水的甜酒,老是和那下流的霍洛克斯一家子混在一起.牧师一家瞧着毕脱那么得意,气得不得了.别德太太口里不说,心里懊悔不及,责备自己当初不该轻慢了布立葛丝,也不该对鲍尔斯和孚金那么霸道,那么小器,如今克劳莱小姐家里竟没有一个人替她报信,真是大大的失着.她老是说:"都是别德的锁骨不好.如果别德不摔断骨头,我也不会离开姑妈.我这真是为责任而牺牲,另一方面,也是你那爱打猎的坏习惯把我害苦了,别德.牧师是不该打猎的." 牧师插嘴道:"哪里是为打猎!都是你把她吓坏了,玛莎.你是个能干人,可是你的性子烈火轰雷似的暴躁,而且花钱的时候又较量的利害,玛莎." "别德,倘若我不管着你花钱,你早进了监牢了." 牧师脾气很好,答道:"亲爱的,你说得不错.你的确是能干,不过有些时候调排得太精明也不好."这位虔诚的好人说着,喝了一杯葡萄酒给自己开开心. 他接下去说道:"不懂她瞧着毕脱那脓包那一点儿好?那家伙真是老鼠胆子,我还记得罗登(罗登究竟还是个男子汉,那混蛋!)......我还记得罗登从前绕着马房揍他,把他当作陀螺似的抽,毕脱只会哭哭啼啼的回去找他妈......哈,哈!我的两个儿子都比他强,单手跟他双手对打,还能痛痛的揍他一顿呢!詹姆士说牛津的人还记得他外号叫克劳莱小姐.那脓包!" 过了一会儿,牧师又道:"嗳,玛莎呀!" 玛莎一忽儿咬咬指甲,一忽儿把手指在桌子上冬冬的敲,说道:"什么?" "我说呀,何不叫詹姆士到布拉依顿去走一趟,瞧瞧老太太那儿有什么希望没有.他快毕业了,这几年里头他统共才留过两班,......跟我一样,可是他到底在牛津受过教育,是个大学生,那就不错了.他在牛津认识好几个阔大少,在邦内弗斯大学又是划船健将;长得又漂亮,喝!太太,咱们何不派他去瞧着老太太呢?倘或毕脱开口反对,就叫他揍毕脱一顿!哈,哈,哈!" 他太太说道:"不错,詹姆士是应该去瞧瞧她."接着她叹口气说道:"如果能把女孩子派一个去住在她家就好了.可惜她嫌她们长得不好看,瞧着就讨厌."妈妈在这边说话,就听得那几个有教养的倒楣鬼儿在隔壁客厅里练琴,手指头又硬,弹的曲子又难.她们整天不是练琴,就是读地理,念历史,或是系上背板纠正姿势.这些姑娘长得又丑又矮,再加上脸色难看,又没陪嫁,就算真是多才多艺,也不能在名利场上出头.别德的副牧师也许肯娶一个去;除此之外,别德太太简直想不出合适的人.这时候詹姆士从客厅的长窗走进来,油布帽子上插了一个短烟斗.爷儿俩谈着圣.里奇赛马(圣.里奇赛马每年举行一次,只有三岁的马能够参加,这种赛马是1776年圣.里奇将军(St.Leger)发起的.)的胜负,牧师和他太太说的话便不提了. 别德太太觉得打发詹姆士到布拉依顿去未必有什么指望,没精打采的送他出门.小伙子听了父母派他出门的用意,也觉得这趟差出得不但没趣儿,而且不见得有用.不过他想老太太说不定会送他一份相当好看的礼,就可以把他下学期非付不可的账给还掉几处,也是好的.因此他带着旅行袋和一大篮瓜菜果蔬......说是牧师亲爱的一家送给亲爱的克劳莱小姐的......他最宝贝的一条狗叫塔马泽的跟着,一同上了沙乌撒浦顿邮车,当晚平安来到布拉依顿.到了地头,他觉得不便深夜去打搅病人,就歇在一家旅馆里,一直挨磨到第二天中午才去探望克劳莱小姐. 詹姆士的姑妈最后一次看见他的时候,他还是一个笨手笨脚的大孩子.男孩子长到这么尴尬的年龄,说起话来不是尖得像鬼叫,就是哑得怪声怪气;脸上往往开了红花似的长满了疙瘩(据说罗兰氏的美容药可以医治),有时还偷偷的拿着姊妹的剪刀剃胡子.他们见了女孩子怕得要命;衣裤紧得穿不下;手脚长得又粗又大,四肢从袖口和裤脚那儿伸出了一大截.晚饭之后,这种孩子就没法安排了;太太小姐们在朦胧的客厅里压低了声音谈体己,看着他就讨厌.先生们留在饭间里喝酒,有了这么一个不谙人事的年轻小子在旁边,许多有趣的俏皮话说出来觉得碍口,不能畅畅快快的谈,也多嫌他.喝完第二杯酒,爸爸便说:"贾克,我的儿,去看看天会不会下雨."孩子一方面松了一口气,一方面又觉得自己不算大人,老大不惬意,离开残席走掉了.当时詹姆士也是那么一个半大不小的家伙,现在他受过了大学教育,而且在牛津进的是一家小大学,在学校里经常和好些纨子弟混在一起,欠过债,受过停学和留班的处分,磨练得非常圆滑老成,真正的长成一个青年公子了. 他到布拉依顿拜访姑母的时候,已经长得很漂亮,喜新厌旧的老太太最赏识好相貌,瞧着詹姆士态度很忸怩,一阵阵的脸红,心想这小伙子天真未凿,还没有沾染坏习气,心里很喜欢. 他说:"我来看望我的同学,住一两天,顺便又......又来问候您.爸爸和妈妈也问候您,希望您身体好些了." 佣人上来给孩子通报的时候,毕脱也在房里陪着克劳莱小姐,听说是他,不由得一愣.老太太生性幽默,瞧着她道貌岸然的侄子那么为难,觉得好玩.她殷殷勤勤的问候牧师一家,还说她很想去拜访他们.她当着孩子的面夸奖他,说他长得好,比从前大有进步了,可惜他妹妹们的相貌都还不及他一零儿.她盘问下来,发现詹姆士住在旅馆里,一定要请他住到家里来,叫鲍尔斯立刻把詹姆士.克劳莱先生的行李取来.她雍容大度的说道:"听着,鲍尔斯,把詹姆士先生的账给付了." 她得意洋洋的瞧了毕脱一眼,脸上的表情着实顽皮.那外交官妒忌得差点儿一口气回不来.他虽然竭力对姑妈讨好,老太太从来没有请他住在家里,偏偏这架子十足的小鬼刚一进门就能讨她喜欢. 鲍尔斯上前深深一躬,问道:"请少爷吩咐,叫汤姆士上那家旅馆去取行李?" 詹姆士霍的站起来慌慌张张的说道:"嗳哟,还是我自己去取." 克劳莱小姐问道:"什么?" 詹姆士满面通红答道:"那客店叫'汤姆.克里白的纹章,(克里白是平民的名字,而且开客店的不可能有家传的纹章.)." 克劳莱小姐听了这名称,哈哈大笑.鲍尔斯仗着是家里的亲信旧佣人,也便冲口而出,呵呵的笑起来.那外交官只微笑了一下. 詹姆士看着地下答道:"我......我不认识好旅馆.我以前从没有到这儿来过.是马车夫介绍我去的."这小滑头真会捣鬼!事情是这样的:隔天在沙乌撒浦顿邮车上,詹姆士.克劳莱碰见一个拳击家,叫做德德白莱城的小宝贝,这次到布拉依顿和洛丁地恩城的拳师交手.那小宝贝的谈吐使詹姆士听得出神忘形,就跟那位专家交起朋友来,一同在上面说的那家旅馆里消磨了一个黄昏. 詹姆士接着说道:"还是......还是让我去算账吧."他又谦让了一下说:"不能叫您破费,姑妈."他的姑妈见他细致小心,笑得更起劲了,挥挥手说:"鲍尔斯,快去付了钱,把账单带回来给我." 可怜的老太太,她还蒙在鼓里呢!詹姆士惶恐得不得了,说道:"我带了......带了一只小狗来,还得我去领它来.它专咬听差的小腿." 他这么一说,引得大家都哄笑起来.克劳莱小姐跟她侄子说话的当儿,吉恩小姐和布立葛丝只静静的坐着,这时也掌不住笑了.鲍尔斯没有再说话便走了出去. 克劳莱小姐有意要叫大侄儿难受,对这个牛津学生十分客气.只要她存心和人交朋友,待人真是慈厚周到,恭维话儿说也说不完.她只随口请毕脱吃晚饭,可是一定要詹姆士陪她出去,叫他坐在马车的倒座上,一本正经的在峭壁上来回兜风.她说了许多客气话,引用了许多意大利文和法文的诗句,可怜的孩子一点也不懂.接着她又称赞他有学问,深信他将来准能得到金奖章,并且在数学名誉试验中做优等生. 詹姆士听了这些恭维,胆子大了,便笑道:"呵,呵!怎么会有数学名誉试验?那是在另外一家铺子里的." 老太太道:"好孩子,什么另外一家铺子?" 那牛津学生油头滑脑的答道:"数学荣誉试验只有剑桥举行,牛津是没有的."他本来还想再和她说些知心话儿,哪知道峭壁上忽然来了一辆小车子,由一匹上等好马拉着,车里的人都穿了白法兰绒的衣服,上面钉着螺钿扣子.原来是他的朋友那德德白莱城的小宝贝和洛丁地恩城的拳师,带着三个朋友,看见可怜的詹姆士坐在大马车里,都来和他招呼.天真的小伙子经过这件事情,登时泄了气,一路上闭着嘴没肯再说一句话. 他回到家里,发现房间已经收拾整齐,旅行袋也打开了.如果他留心看一看,准会注意到鲍尔斯先生领他上楼的时候绷着脸儿,又像觉得诧异,又像在可怜他.可是他全不理会鲍尔斯,一心只在悲叹自己不幸到了这么倒楣的地方,满屋子全是老太婆,絮絮叨叨的说些意大利文和法文,还对他讲论诗文.他叫道:"哎哟哟!这可真叫我走投无路了."这孩子天生腼腆,最温和的女人......哪怕是布立葛丝那样的人......只要开口和他说话,就能叫他手足无措.倘若把他送到爱弗笠水闸让他跟驳船上的船夫打交道,他倒不怕,因为他开出口来全是粗话俗语,压得倒最粗的船夫. 吃晚饭的时候,詹姆士戴上一条箍得他透不过气的白领巾.他得到很大的面子,领着吉恩小姐下楼到饭厅里去,布立葛丝和克劳莱先生扶着老太太跟在后面,手里还捧着她常用的包儿.垫子和披肩这些东西.布立葛丝吃饭的当儿一半的时间都在伺候病人和替她的胖小狗切鸡肉.詹姆士不大开口,专心请所有的小姐喝酒.克劳莱先生向他挑战,要他多喝,他果真把克劳莱小姐特地命令鲍尔斯为他打开的一瓶香槟酒喝了一大半.饭后小姐们先走,两兄弟在一处坐着.毕脱,那从前做外交官的哥哥,对他非常热和,跟他谈了许多话.他问詹姆士在学校读书的情形,将来有什么计划,并且表示全心希望他前途无量.总而言之,他的态度又直爽,又和蔼.詹姆士喝了许多葡萄酒,嘴也敞了.他和堂哥哥谈起自己的生活情形和前途,说到他怎么欠债,小考怎么不及格,跟学监怎么拌嘴,一面说,一面不停的喝酒.他一忽儿喝喝葡萄酒,一忽儿喝喝西班牙白酒,忙忙碌碌,觉得非常受用. 克劳莱先生替他满斟一杯道:"姑妈最喜欢让家里的客人自由自在.詹姆士,这所房子跟自由厅(自由厅(Liberty Hall),就是能够随心所欲的地方,在哥德斯密(Gold-smith)的《委曲求全》一剧里,哈德加索尔先生家里来了两个小伙子,误认他的公馆是个客店,他也将错就错,对他们说:先生们,这儿就是自由厅.)一般,你只管随心如意,要什么就拿什么,就算孝顺她了.我知道你们在乡下的人都讥笑我,因为我是保守党.可是谁也不能抱怨克劳莱小姐不够进步.她主张平等,瞧不起一切名衔爵位." 詹姆士道:"你干吗要娶伯爵的女儿呢?" 毕脱很客气的回答道:"亲爱的朋友,可怜的吉恩小姐恰巧是大人家出身,你可不能怪她.已经做了贵族,也没法子了.而且你知道我是保守党." 詹姆士答道:"哦,说起这话,我认为血统是要紧的.说真话,血统是最要紧的.我可不是什么激进派.出身上等的人有什么好处我全知道.哼!赛船比拳的时候,谁赢得最多呢?就拿狗来说吧,什么狗才会拿耗子呢?都得要好种呀!鲍尔斯好小子,再拿瓶葡萄酒来,这会儿先让我把这一瓶喝个干净.我刚才说到哪儿了?" 毕脱把壶递给他,让他喝个干净,一面温和的回答道:"好像是狗拿耗子吧?" "我拿耗子吗?嗳,毕脱,你喜欢各种运动游戏吗?你要不要看看真能拿耗子的狗?如果你想看的话,跟我到卡色尔街马房找汤姆.考丢罗哀去,他有一只了不起的好狗......得了!"詹姆士忽然觉得自己太荒谬,哈哈的笑起来,"你才不希罕狗和耗子呢.我这全是胡说八道.我看你连狗跟鸭子都分不清." 毕脱越来越客套,接着说道:"的确分不清.刚才你还谈血统.你说贵族出身的人总有些特别的好处.酒来了!" 詹姆士把鲜红的酒一大口一大口呷下去,答道:"对!血统是有些道理的.狗也罢,马也罢,人也罢,都非得好种不可.上学期,在我停学以前......我的意思就是说在我出痧子以前,哈,哈!我和耶稣堂大学的林窝德,星伯勋爵的儿子鲍勃.林窝德,两个人在白莱纳姆的贝尔酒店里喝啤酒.班卜瑞的一个船夫跑上来要跟我们对打,说是赢了的可以白喝一碗五味酒.那天我碰巧不能跟人打架.我的胳膊受了伤,用绷带吊起来了,连煞车都拿不动.我那匹马真是个该死的畜生,两天之前把我从马背上一直摔在地下......那天我是跟亚平顿一块儿出去的,我还以为胳膊都断了呢.所以我当然不能把他好好儿揍一顿.鲍勃马上脱掉外套;和班卜瑞人打了四合,不出三分钟就把他打垮了.天啊,他扑通一声倒下去了.为什么原因呢?这就是家世好坏不同的缘故." 前任参赞说道:"詹姆士,你怎么不喝酒?我在牛津的时候,仿佛学生们的酒量比你们要大些." 詹姆士把手按着鼻子,一醉眼说道:"得了,得了,好小子,别作弄我.你想把我灌醉吗?想也不要想!好小子,咱们酒后说真话.打仗,喝酒,斗聪明,全是咱们男人的特权(以上两句全是最常见的拉丁文.),是不是?这酒妙极了,最好姑妈肯送些到乡下去给我爸爸喝." 那奸诈的政客答道:"你不妨问她一声.要不,就趁这好机会自己尽着肚子灌一下.诗人怎么说的?'今朝借酒浇愁,明天又在大海上破浪前进了.,(罗马诗人贺拉斯的诗句,见抒情诗第一卷.)"善于豪饮的毕脱引经据典的样子很像在下议院演说(在十九世纪以前,议员们演说的时候都爱引用贺拉斯.维吉尔等拉丁诗人.).他一面说,一面举起杯子转了一个大圈子,一挺脖子,喝下去好几滴酒. 在牧师家里,倘若饭后开了一瓶葡萄酒,姑娘们便一人斟一杯红醋栗酒喝.别德太太喝一杯葡萄酒;老实的詹姆士通常也喝两杯,如果再多喝的话,父亲便不高兴,这好孩子只好忍住了,有时找补些红醋栗酒,有时躲到马房里跟马夫一起喝搀水的杜松子酒,一面还抽抽烟斗.在牛津,他很可以尽着肚子灌,不过酒的质地很差.如今在姑妈家里喝酒,质佳量多,詹姆士当然不肯辜负好酒,也不必堂哥哥怎么劝他,就把鲍尔斯先生拿来的第二瓶也喝下去. 到喝咖啡的时候他们便得回到女人堆里去.小伙子最怕女人,他那和蔼直爽的态度没有了,换上平常又忸怩又倔丧的样子,一黄昏只是唯唯否否,有时虎着脸瞟吉恩小姐一两眼,还打翻了一杯咖啡. 他虽然没说话,可是老打呵欠,那样子真可怜.那天黄昏大伙儿照例找些家常的消遣,可是有了他在旁边,便觉黯然无味.克劳莱小姐和吉恩小姐斗牌,布立葛丝做活;大家都觉得他一双醉眼疯疯傻傻的瞧着她们,老大不舒服. 克劳莱小姐对毕脱先生说道:"这孩子不会说话.笨手笨脚的,好像很怕羞." 狡猾的政客淡淡的回答道:"他跟男人在一起的时候话多些,见了女人就不响了."也许他看见葡萄酒没使詹姆士多说话,心里很失望. 詹姆士第二天一早写信回家给他母亲,淋漓尽致的描写克劳莱小姐怎么优待他.可怜啊!他还不知道这一天里头有多少倒楣的事情等着他,也不知道自己得宠的时候竟会这么短.惹祸的不过是件小事,还是在他住到姑妈家去的前一夜在那客栈里干下的,连他自己也忘记了.事情不过是这样的:詹姆士花钱向来慷慨,喝醉了酒之后更加好客;那天黄昏他请客作东,邀请德德白莱的选手,罗丁地恩的拳师,还有他们的好些朋友,每人喝了两三杯搀水的杜松子酒,一共喝掉十八杯,每杯八便士,都开在詹姆士.克劳莱先生的账单上.可怜的詹姆士从此名誉扫地......不为多花了钱,只为多喝了酒.他姑妈的佣人头儿鲍尔斯奉命替少爷去还账,旅馆主人怕他不肯付酒账,赌神罚誓说所有的酒全是那位少爷自己喝掉的.鲍尔斯最后付了钱,回来就把账单给孚金看.孚金姑娘一看他喝了那么些杜松子酒,吓了一大跳,又把账单交到总会计布立葛丝小姐手里.布立葛丝觉得有责任告诉主人,便回禀了克劳莱小姐. 倘或詹姆士喝了十二瓶红酒,老小姐准会饶恕他.福克斯先生,谢立丹先生(谢立丹(Richard Brinsley Sheridan,1751—1816),英国著名戏剧家.),都喝红酒.上等人都喝红酒.可是在小酒店里跟打拳的混在一起喝十八杯杜松子酒,罪孽可不轻,叫人怎么能一下子就饶了他呢?那天样样事情都于他不利.他到马房去看他那条叫塔乌泽的狗,回来时浑身烟味儿.他带着塔乌泽出去散步,刚巧碰见克劳莱小姐带着她那害气喘病的白莱纳姆小狗也在外面;若不是那小狗汪汪的尖叫着躲到布立葛丝小姐身边去,塔乌泽一定要把它吃下去了.塔乌泽的主人心肠狠毒,看着小狗受罪,反而站在旁边打哈哈. 合该小伙子倒楣,他的腼腆样儿到第二天也没有了.吃饭的时候他嘻嘻哈哈十分起劲,还说了一两个笑话取笑毕脱.克劳莱.饭后,他喝的酒跟隔天一样多,浑头浑脑的走到起坐间里对小姐们讲了几个牛津大学流行的最妙的故事.他描写玛利诺打拳的手法和荷兰山姆有什么不同,又开玩笑似的说要和吉恩小姐打赌,看德德白莱城的小宝贝和罗丁地恩城的拳师究竟谁输谁赢.笑话越说越高兴,到后来他竟提议和堂哥哥毕脱.克劳莱打一场,随他戴不戴打拳用的皮手套.他高声大笑,拍拍毕脱的肩膀说道:"我的花花公子啊,我这建议公道得很呢.我爹也叫我跟你对打,说是不管输赢多少钱,他总跟我对分,哈,哈!"这妩媚的小伙子一面说话,一面很有含蓄的向可怜的布立葛丝点头点脑,做出又高兴又得意的样子,翘起大拇指往后指着毕脱.克劳莱. 毕脱虽然不受用,可是心底里却很喜欢.可怜的詹姆士笑了个够;老太太安歇的时候,他跌跌撞撞的拿着蜡烛照她出去,一面做出恭而敬之的样子嘻嘻的傻笑着,要想吻她的手.末后他和大家告别,上自己屋里睡觉去了.他志得意满的认为姑母的财产将来准会传给他.家里别的人都轮不到,连他父亲也没有份. 你大概以为他进了卧房便不会再闹乱子了,哪知这没时运的孩子偏偏又干了一件坏事.在外面,月亮照着海面,景色非常美丽.詹姆士看见月光水色那么幽雅,心想不如抽抽烟斗,受用一会子再睡.他想如果他聪明些,开了窗,把头和烟斗伸在窗外新鲜空气里,谁也闻不着烟味儿的.可怜的詹姆士果真这么做了,却不料过分兴奋之后,忘记他的房门还开着,风是朝里吹的,那穿堂风绵绵不断,把一阵阵的烟直往下送,克劳莱小姐和布立葛丝小姐闻着的烟香,还跟本来一样浓郁. 这一袋烟葬送了他;别德.克劳莱一家一直没知道这袋烟剥夺了他们几千镑的财产.当时鲍尔斯正在楼下给他手下的听差朗读《火与煎盘》,那声音阴森森的叫人害怕.正读着,只见孚金三脚两步直冲下来,把这可怕的秘密告诉给他听.鲍尔斯和那小听差见她吓得面无人色,只道是强盗进了屋子躲在克劳莱小姐的床底下,孚金瞧见了他们的腿了呢.鲍尔斯一听得这事,立刻一步跨三级的冲到詹姆士的屋子里(他本人还不知道),急得声音不成声音的叫道:"詹姆士先生,少爷,看老天面上,快别抽烟斗了!"他把烟斗向窗外一扔,悲悲戚戚说道:"唉,詹姆士先生,瞧你干的好事!小姐不准抽烟的!" "那么小姐就别抽,"说着,詹姆士哈哈的痴笑起来,这一笑笑得不是时候,他还以为这笑话妙不可言.第二天早上,他的心情就不同了.鲍尔斯先生手下有个小听差,每天给他擦鞋,另外送热水进去让他刮胡子,可惜他虽然日夜盼望,胡子还是没长出来.这天他还睡在床上,那小听差拿了一张便条给他,上面是布立葛丝的笔迹,写道: 亲爱的先生:克劳莱小姐昨夜不能安睡,因为屋子里满是烟草的臭味.克劳莱小姐叫我向你道歉,她身体不好,在你离开之前,不能相见了.她懊悔麻烦你搬出酒店来住.她说你如果在布拉依顿住下去,还是在酒店里比较舒服. 老实的詹姆士在讨好姑妈这件事上,前途从此断绝.事实上,他吓唬堂哥哥毕脱的话已经做到,真的上场跟毕脱比过拳脚,只不过他自己没有知道. 争夺产业的纠纷里面最先得宠的人在哪儿,我们也该问一声才是.上文已经表过,蓓基和罗登在滑铁卢大战以后重新会合,一八一五年冬天,正在巴黎过着华贵风流的生活.利蓓加的算盘本来就精,再加可怜的乔斯.赛特笠买她的两匹马付了一笔大价钱,至少够他们的小家庭过一年,算下来,"我打死马克上尉的手熗".金的化妆盒子.貂皮里子的外衣都不必出卖.蓓基把这件外衣改成自己的长外套,穿起来在波罗涅树林大道上兜风,引得人人称赞.英国军队占领岗白雷之后,她就跟丈夫团圆了.他们怎么会面,罗登怎么得意的情形,你真该瞧瞧.她拆开身上的针线,把以前打算从布鲁塞尔逃难的时候缝在棉衬子里的表呀,首饰呀,钞票呀,支票呀,还有许多别的值钱东西,一股脑儿抖将出来.德夫托觉得好玩极了,罗登更乐得呵呵大笑,赌神罚誓的说她比什么戏文都有趣.蓓基把自己向乔斯敲竹杠的事情十分幽默的描写了一遍,罗登听了高兴得几乎发狂.他对于妻子,就跟法国兵对于拿破仑一样崇拜. 她在巴黎一帆风顺.所有的法国上流妇女一致称赞她可爱.她的法文说得十分完美,而且不多几时便学得了她们娴雅的风度和活泼的举止.她的丈夫蠢的很,可是英国人本来就蠢,而且在巴黎,有个愚蠢的丈夫反而上算.他是那位典雅阔气的克劳莱小姐的承继人.大革命发生的时候,多少法国贵族避难到英国,多亏她照应接待,因此现在她们便把上校的太太请到自己的公馆里去.有一位贵妇人......一位公爵夫人......在革命以后最困难的时候,不但承克劳莱小姐不还价钱买了她的首饰和花边,并且常常给请去吃饭.这位贵夫人写信给克劳莱小姐说:"亲爱的小姐为什么不到巴黎来望望好朋友们和你自己的侄儿侄媳妇呢?可爱的克劳莱太太伶俐美貌,把所有的人都迷住了.她的丰采,妩媚,机智的口角,都和我们亲爱的克劳莱小姐一样.昨天在底勒里宫,连王上都注意她.亚多娃伯爵(即后来继路易十八为王的查理第十.原文称他为Monsieur(先生),因为按照法国的规矩,普通人称王兄王弟不必提姓名封号,单用"先生"这字,在别的国家却没有这风气,此地只好用他未登基时的封号.)对她那么殷勤,使我们都觉得妒忌.这儿有一个叫贝亚爱格思夫人的蠢女人,一张雷公脸,戴一顶圆帽子,上面插几根鸟毛.她逢宴会必到,又比别人高着一截,所以到处看见她在东张西望.有一回,昂古莱姆公爵夫人(她是帝王的后裔,往来相与的也都是金枝玉叶)特意请人介绍给受你栽培保护的侄媳妇,用法国政府的名义向她道谢,代替当年流落在英国在你手里受到大恩的人致意.这一下,可把贝亚爱格思夫人气坏了!你的侄媳妇应酬极忙,在所有的跳舞会上露面......可是不跳舞.这漂亮的小人儿多好看,多有趣!她到处受到男人们的崇拜,而且再过不久就要做母亲了.她谈起你......她的保护人,她的母亲,那口气真令人感动,连魔鬼听着也要掉眼泪的.她多么爱你!可敬可爱的克劳莱小姐,我们都爱你!" 巴黎贵妇人的来信,大概并没有使蓓基太太可敬可爱的姑妈对她增加好意.老小姐听说利蓓加已经怀孕,又知道她利用自己的名字混进巴黎上流社会大胆招摇撞骗,勃然大怒.她身体虚弱,精神又受了刺激,不能用法文回信,就用英文向布立葛丝口述了一封怒气冲冲的回信,一口否认和罗登.克劳莱太太有什么关系,并且警告所有的人,说她诡计多端,是个危险分子.写信的那位公爵夫人在英国只住过二十年,英文字一个也不认得,因此第二回跟罗登.克劳莱太太会面的时候,只说"亲爱的小姐"写了一封怪风趣的回信,说的都是关于克劳莱太太的好话.利蓓加一听,当真以为老小姐回心转意了. 当时她是所有英国女人里面最出风头最受崇拜的一个,每逢在家待客的日子,总好像是开了个小规模的欧洲会议.在那年有名的冬天,全世界的人......普鲁士人,哥萨克人,西班牙人,英国人,都聚在巴黎.利蓓加的小客厅里挤满了挂绶带戴宝星的人物,贝克街的英国人瞧见她这样,准会妒忌得脸上失色.她在波罗涅树林大道上兜风,或是在小包厢里听歌剧,都有出名的将官簇拥着她.罗登兴高采烈;因为在巴黎暂时还没有要债的跟着他,而在维瑞咖啡馆和鲍维里哀饭店(维瑞咖啡馆(Café Véry)和鲍维里哀饭店(Restaurant Beauvillier)当年在巴黎都负盛名.)还每天有宴会;赌钱的机会既多,他的手运又好.德夫托大概很不高兴,因为德夫托太太自作主张的到巴黎来找他;除掉这不幸的事件之外,蓓基身边又有了二十来个将军,她要上戏院之前,尽可以在十几个花球中间任意挑拣.英国上层社会里的尖儿,像贝亚爱格思夫人之流,全是德行全备的蠢婆子,看着蓓基小人得志,难受得坐立不安.蓓基取笑她们的话说得非常刻薄,好像一支毒箭戳进了她们纯洁的胸膛,直痛到心窝里.所有的男人全帮着蓓基.对于那些女的,她拿出不屈不挠的精神跟她们周旋,反正她们只会说本国的语言,不能用法文来诋毁她. 这样,从一八一五年到一八一六年的冬天,罗登.克劳莱太太寻欢作乐,日子过得十分顺利.她很能适应上流社会的环境,竟仿佛她祖上几百年以来一向是有地位的人物.说真话,有了她那样的聪明.才能和精力,在名利场上也应该占据显要的地位才是.一八一六年入春的时候,在《加里涅尼报》(这份报纸是入法国籍的英国人约翰.安东尼.加里涅尼(John Anthony Galignani)和威廉.加里涅尼(William Galignani)两兄弟合办的,注重报导英国社会.政治,文艺各方面的消息.)上最有意思的一角上,登载了"禁卫军克劳莱中校夫人弄璋之喜"的新闻,那天正是三月二十六日. 伦敦的报纸转载了这项消息,那时克劳莱小姐还在布拉依顿,一天吃早饭的时候,布立葛丝便把它读出来.这新闻原是意料之中的,不料在克劳莱家里却因此起了一个极大的转变.老小姐大怒,立刻把她侄儿毕脱叫来,又到勃伦息克广场请了莎吴塞唐夫人,和他们商议,说两家早就订了婚,最好现在立刻举行婚礼.她答应去世之前给小夫妻每年一千镑的用度,死后大部分的遗产也归侄儿和亲爱的侄媳妇吉恩.克劳莱夫人所有.华息克特特的赶到布拉依顿来给她重写遗嘱,莎吴塞唐也来替妹妹主婚.主持婚礼的是一位主教,旁门左道的白托罗缪.亚哀恩士牧师没有轮到做这件事,老大失望. 他们结婚之后,毕脱很想依照惯例,带着新娘出去蜜月旅行.可是老太太对吉恩越来越宠爱,老实不客气承认一时一刻离不开她.毕脱和他太太便搬过来和克劳莱小姐同住.可怜的毕脱一方面要顺着姑妈的脾气,一方面又得看丈母娘的嘴脸,着实难过,心里真是万分委屈,莎吴塞唐夫人住在隔壁,阖家的人,包括毕脱.吉恩夫人.克劳莱小姐.布立葛丝.鲍尔斯.孚金,统统都得由她指挥.她硬给他们药吃,硬给他们小册子看,全无通融的余地.克里默给赶掉了,另外请了罗杰医生来,不久之后,她完全不让克劳莱小姐作主,竟连面子也不顾.那可怜的老婆子越变越胆小,到后来连欺负布立葛丝的劲儿也没有了.她紧紧依着侄儿媳妇,一天比一天糊涂,也一天比一天胆小.你这又忠厚.又自私.又虚荣.又慷慨的,不信神明的老太婆啊,从此再见了!祝你得到安息!希望吉恩夫人对她孝顺温柔,好好的服侍她走出这熙熙攘攘的名利场. |
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