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怕相思,已思相,轮到相思没处辞,眉间露一丝
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莎士比亚十四行诗(121-154) THE SONNETS by William Shakespeare (121-154)
英: 121
'Tis better to be vile than vile esteemed, When not to be, receives reproach of being, And the just pleasure lost, which is so deemed, Not by our feeling, but by others' seeing. For why should others' false adulterate eyes Give salutation to my sportive blood? Or on my frailties why are frailer spies, Which in their wills count bad what I think good? No, I am that I am, and they that level At my abuses, reckon up their own, I may be straight though they themselves be bevel; By their rank thoughts, my deeds must not be shown Unless this general evil they maintain, All men are bad and in their badness reign. 122 Thy gift, thy tables, are within my brain Full charactered with lasting memory, Which shall above that idle rank remain Beyond all date even to eternity. Or at the least, so long as brain and heart Have faculty by nature to subsist, Till each to razed oblivion yield his part Of thee, thy record never can be missed: That poor retention could not so much hold, Nor need I tallies thy dear love to score, Therefore to give them from me was I bold, To trust those tables that receive thee more: To keep an adjunct to remember thee Were to import forgetfulness in me. 123 No! Time, thou shalt not boast that I do change, Thy pyramids built up with newer might To me are nothing novel, nothing strange, They are but dressings Of a former sight: Our dates are brief, and therefore we admire, What thou dost foist upon us that is old, And rather make them born to our desire, Than think that we before have heard them told: Thy registers and thee I both defy, Not wond'ring at the present, nor the past, For thy records, and what we see doth lie, Made more or less by thy continual haste: This I do vow and this shall ever be, I will be true despite thy scythe and thee. 124 If my dear love were but the child of state, It might for Fortune's bastard be unfathered, As subject to time's love or to time's hate, Weeds among weeds, or flowers with flowers gathered. No it was builded far from accident, It suffers not in smiling pomp, nor falls Under the blow of thralled discontent, Whereto th' inviting time our fashion calls: It fears not policy that heretic, Which works on leases of short-numbered hours, But all alone stands hugely politic, That it nor grows with heat, nor drowns with showers. To this I witness call the fools of time, Which die for goodness, who have lived for crime. 125 Were't aught to me I bore the canopy, With my extern the outward honouring, Or laid great bases for eternity, Which proves more short than waste or ruining? Have I not seen dwellers on form and favour Lose all, and more by paying too much rent For compound sweet; forgoing simple savour, Pitiful thrivers in their gazing spent? No, let me be obsequious in thy heart, And take thou my oblation, poor but free, Which is not mixed with seconds, knows no art, But mutual render, only me for thee. Hence, thou suborned informer, a true soul When most impeached, stands least in thy control. 126 O thou my lovely boy who in thy power, Dost hold Time's fickle glass his fickle hour: Who hast by waning grown, and therein show'st, Thy lovers withering, as thy sweet self grow'st. If Nature (sovereign mistress over wrack) As thou goest onwards still will pluck thee back, She keeps thee to this purpose, that her skill May time disgrace, and wretched minutes kill. Yet fear her O thou minion of her pleasure, She may detain, but not still keep her treasure! Her audit (though delayed) answered must be, And her quietus is to render thee. 127 In the old age black was not counted fair, Or if it were it bore not beauty's name: But now is black beauty's successive heir, And beauty slandered with a bastard shame, For since each hand hath put on nature's power, Fairing the foul with art's false borrowed face, Sweet beauty hath no name no holy bower, But is profaned, if not lives in disgrace. Therefore my mistress' eyes are raven black, Her eyes so suited, and they mourners seem, At such who not born fair no beauty lack, Slandering creation with a false esteem, Yet so they mourn becoming of their woe, That every tongue says beauty should look so. 128 How oft when thou, my music, music play'st, Upon that blessed wood whose motion sounds With thy sweet fingers when thou gently sway'st The wiry concord that mine ear confounds, Do I envy those jacks that nimble leap, To kiss the tender inward of thy hand, Whilst my poor lips which should that harvest reap, At the wood's boldness by thee blushing stand. To be so tickled they would change their state And situation with those dancing chips, O'er whom thy fingers walk with gentle gait, Making dead wood more blest than living lips, Since saucy jacks so happy are in this, Give them thy fingers, me thy lips to kiss. 129 Th' expense of spirit in a waste of shame Is lust in action, and till action, lust Is perjured, murd'rous, bloody full of blame, Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust, Enjoyed no sooner but despised straight, Past reason hunted, and no sooner had Past reason hated as a swallowed bait, On purpose laid to make the taker mad. Mad in pursuit and in possession so, Had, having, and in quest, to have extreme, A bliss in proof and proved, a very woe, Before a joy proposed behind a dream. All this the world well knows yet none knows well, To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell. 130 My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun, Coral is far more red, than her lips red, If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun: If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head: I have seen roses damasked, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks, And in some perfumes is there more delight, Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know, That music hath a far more pleasing sound: I grant I never saw a goddess go, My mistress when she walks treads on the ground. And yet by heaven I think my love as rare, As any she belied with false compare. 131 Thou art as tyrannous, so as thou art, As those whose beauties proudly make them cruel; For well thou know'st to my dear doting heart Thou art the fairest and most precious jewel. Yet in good faith some say that thee behold, Thy face hath not the power to make love groan; To say they err, I dare not be so bold, Although I swear it to my self alone. And to be sure that is not false I swear, A thousand groans but thinking on thy face, One on another's neck do witness bear Thy black is fairest in my judgment's place. In nothing art thou black save in thy deeds, And thence this slander as I think proceeds. 132 Thine eyes I love, and they as pitying me, Knowing thy heart torment me with disdain, Have put on black, and loving mourners be, Looking with pretty ruth upon my pain. And truly not the morning sun of heaven Better becomes the grey cheeks of the east, Nor that full star that ushers in the even Doth half that glory to the sober west As those two mourning eyes become thy face: O let it then as well beseem thy heart To mourn for me since mourning doth thee grace, And suit thy pity like in every part. Then will I swear beauty herself is black, And all they foul that thy complexion lack. 133 Beshrew that heart that makes my heart to groan For that deep wound it gives my friend and me; Is't not enough to torture me alone, But slave to slavery my sweet'st friend must be? Me from my self thy cruel eye hath taken, And my next self thou harder hast engrossed, Of him, my self, and thee I am forsaken, A torment thrice three-fold thus to be crossed: Prison my heart in thy steel bosom's ward, But then my friend's heart let my poor heart bail, Whoe'er keeps me, let my heart be his guard, Thou canst not then use rigour in my gaol. And yet thou wilt, for I being pent in thee, Perforce am thine and all that is in me. 134 So now I have confessed that he is thine, And I my self am mortgaged to thy will, My self I'll forfeit, so that other mine, Thou wilt restore to be my comfort still: But thou wilt not, nor he will not be free, For thou art covetous, and he is kind, He learned but surety-like to write for me, Under that bond that him as fist doth bind. The statute of thy beauty thou wilt take, Thou usurer that put'st forth all to use, And sue a friend, came debtor for my sake, So him I lose through my unkind abuse. Him have I lost, thou hast both him and me, He pays the whole, and yet am I not free. 135 Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy will, And 'Will' to boot, and 'Will' in over-plus, More than enough am I that vex thee still, To thy sweet will making addition thus. Wilt thou whose will is large and spacious, Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine? Shall will in others seem right gracious, And in my will no fair acceptance shine? The sea all water, yet receives rain still, And in abundance addeth to his store, So thou being rich in will add to thy will One will of mine to make thy large will more. Let no unkind, no fair beseechers kill, Think all but one, and me in that one 'Will.' 136 If thy soul check thee that I come so near, Swear to thy blind soul that I was thy 'Will', And will thy soul knows is admitted there, Thus far for love, my love-suit sweet fulfil. 'Will', will fulfil the treasure of thy love, Ay, fill it full with wills, and my will one, In things of great receipt with case we prove, Among a number one is reckoned none. Then in the number let me pass untold, Though in thy store's account I one must be, For nothing hold me, so it please thee hold, That nothing me, a something sweet to thee. Make but my name thy love, and love that still, And then thou lov'st me for my name is Will. 137 Thou blind fool Love, what dost thou to mine eyes, That they behold and see not what they see? They know what beauty is, see where it lies, Yet what the best is, take the worst to be. If eyes corrupt by over-partial looks, Be anchored in the bay where all men ride, Why of eyes' falsehood hast thou forged hooks, Whereto the judgment of my heart is tied? Why should my heart think that a several plot, Which my heart knows the wide world's common place? Or mine eyes seeing this, say this is not To put fair truth upon so foul a face? In things right true my heart and eyes have erred, And to this false plague are they now transferred. 138 When my love swears that she is made of truth, I do believe her though I know she lies, That she might think me some untutored youth, Unlearned in the world's false subtleties. Thus vainly thinking that she thinks me young, Although she knows my days are past the best, Simply I credit her false-speaking tongue, On both sides thus is simple truth suppressed: But wherefore says she not she is unjust? And wherefore say not I that I am old? O love's best habit is in seeming trust, And age in love, loves not to have years told. Therefore I lie with her, and she with me, And in our faults by lies we flattered be. 139 O call not me to justify the wrong, That thy unkindness lays upon my heart, Wound me not with thine eye but with thy tongue, Use power with power, and slay me not by art, Tell me thou lov'st elsewhere; but in my sight, Dear heart forbear to glance thine eye aside, What need'st thou wound with cunning when thy might Is more than my o'erpressed defence can bide? Let me excuse thee, ah my love well knows, Her pretty looks have been mine enemies, And therefore from my face she turns my foes, That they elsewhere might dart their injuries: Yet do not so, but since I am near slain, Kill me outright with looks, and rid my pain. 140 Be wise as thou art cruel, do not press My tongue-tied patience with too much disdain: Lest sorrow lend me words and words express, The manner of my pity-wanting pain. If I might teach thee wit better it were, Though not to love, yet love to tell me so, As testy sick men when their deaths be near, No news but health from their physicians know. For if I should despair I should grow mad, And in my madness might speak ill of thee, Now this ill-wresting world is grown so bad, Mad slanderers by mad ears believed be. That I may not be so, nor thou belied, Bear thine eyes straight, though thy proud heart go wide. 141 In faith I do not love thee with mine eyes, For they in thee a thousand errors note, But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise, Who in despite of view is pleased to dote. Nor are mine cars with thy tongue's tune delighted, Nor tender feeling to base touches prone, Nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited To any sensual feast with thee alone: But my five wits, nor my five senses can Dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee, Who leaves unswayed the likeness of a man, Thy proud heart's slave and vassal wretch to be: Only my plague thus far I count my gain, That she that makes me sin, awards me pain. 142 Love is my sin, and thy dear virtue hate, Hate of my sin, grounded on sinful loving, O but with mine, compare thou thine own state, And thou shalt find it merits not reproving, Or if it do, not from those lips of thine, That have profaned their scarlet ornaments, And sealed false bonds of love as oft as mine, Robbed others' beds' revenues of their rents. Be it lawful I love thee as thou lov'st those, Whom thine eyes woo as mine importune thee, Root pity in thy heart that when it grows, Thy pity may deserve to pitied be. If thou dost seek to have what thou dost hide, By self-example mayst thou be denied. 143 Lo as a careful huswife runs to catch, One of her feathered creatures broke away, Sets down her babe and makes all swift dispatch In pursuit of the thing she would have stay: Whilst her neglected child holds her in chase, Cries to catch her whose busy care is bent, To follow that which flies before her face: Not prizing her poor infant's discontent; So run'st thou after that which flies from thee, Whilst I thy babe chase thee afar behind, But if thou catch thy hope turn back to me: And play the mother's part, kiss me, be kind. So will I pray that thou mayst have thy Will, If thou turn back and my loud crying still. 144 Two loves I have of comfort and despair, Which like two spirits do suggest me still, The better angel is a man right fair: The worser spirit a woman coloured ill. To win me soon to hell my female evil, Tempteth my better angel from my side, And would corrupt my saint to be a devil: Wooing his purity with her foul pride. And whether that my angel be turned fiend, Suspect I may, yet not directly tell, But being both from me both to each friend, I guess one angel in another's hell. Yet this shall I ne'er know but live in doubt, Till my bad angel fire my good one out. 145 Those lips that Love's own hand did make, Breathed forth the sound that said 'I hate', To me that languished for her sake: But when she saw my woeful state, Straight in her heart did mercy come, Chiding that tongue that ever sweet, Was used in giving gentle doom: And taught it thus anew to greet: 'I hate' she altered with an end, That followed it as gentle day, Doth follow night who like a fiend From heaven to hell is flown away. 'I hate', from hate away she threw, And saved my life saying 'not you'. 146 Poor soul the centre of my sinful earth, My sinful earth these rebel powers array, Why dost thou pine within and suffer dearth Painting thy outward walls so costly gay? Why so large cost having so short a lease, Dost thou upon thy fading mansion spend? Shall worms inheritors of this excess Eat up thy charge? is this thy body's end? Then soul live thou upon thy servant's loss, And let that pine to aggravate thy store; Buy terms divine in selling hours of dross; Within be fed, without be rich no more, So shall thou feed on death, that feeds on men, And death once dead, there's no more dying then. 147 My love is as a fever longing still, For that which longer nurseth the disease, Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill, Th' uncertain sickly appetite to please: My reason the physician to my love, Angry that his prescriptions are not kept Hath left me, and I desperate now approve, Desire is death, which physic did except. Past cure I am, now reason is past care, And frantic-mad with evermore unrest, My thoughts and my discourse as mad men's are, At random from the truth vainly expressed. For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright, Who art as black as hell, as dark as night. 148 O me! what eyes hath love put in my head, Which have no correspondence with true sight, Or if they have, where is my judgment fled, That censures falsely what they see aright? If that be fair whereon my false eyes dote, What means the world to say it is not so? If it be not, then love doth well denote, Love's eye is not so true as all men's: no, How can it? O how can love's eye be true, That is so vexed with watching and with tears? No marvel then though I mistake my view, The sun it self sees not, till heaven clears. O cunning love, with tears thou keep'st me blind, Lest eyes well-seeing thy foul faults should find. 149 Canst thou O cruel, say I love thee not, When I against my self with thee partake? Do I not think on thee when I forgot Am of my self, all-tyrant, for thy sake? Who hateth thee that I do call my friend, On whom frown'st thou that I do fawn upon, Nay if thou lour'st on me do I not spend Revenge upon my self with present moan? What merit do I in my self respect, That is so proud thy service to despise, When all my best doth worship thy defect, Commanded by the motion of thine eyes? But love hate on for now I know thy mind, Those that can see thou lov'st, and I am blind. 150 O from what power hast thou this powerful might, With insufficiency my heart to sway, To make me give the lie to my true sight, And swear that brightness doth not grace the day? Whence hast thou this becoming of things ill, That in the very refuse of thy deeds, There is such strength and warrantise of skill, That in my mind thy worst all best exceeds? Who taught thee how to make me love thee more, The more I hear and see just cause of hate? O though I love what others do abhor, With others thou shouldst not abhor my state. If thy unworthiness raised love in me, More worthy I to be beloved of thee. 151 Love is too young to know what conscience is, Yet who knows not conscience is born of love? Then gentle cheater urge not my amiss, Lest guilty of my faults thy sweet self prove. For thou betraying me, I do betray My nobler part to my gross body's treason, My soul doth tell my body that he may, Triumph in love, flesh stays no farther reason, But rising at thy name doth point out thee, As his triumphant prize, proud of this pride, He is contented thy poor drudge to be, To stand in thy affairs, fall by thy side. No want of conscience hold it that I call, Her love, for whose dear love I rise and fall. 152 In loving thee thou know'st I am forsworn, But thou art twice forsworn to me love swearing, In act thy bed-vow broke and new faith torn, In vowing new hate after new love bearing: But why of two oaths' breach do I accuse thee, When I break twenty? I am perjured most, For all my vows are oaths but to misuse thee: And all my honest faith in thee is lost. For I have sworn deep oaths of thy deep kindness: Oaths of thy love, thy truth, thy constancy, And to enlighten thee gave eyes to blindness, Or made them swear against the thing they see. For I have sworn thee fair: more perjured I, To swear against the truth so foul a be. 153 Cupid laid by his brand and fell asleep, A maid of Dian's this advantage found, And his love-kindling fire did quickly steep In a cold valley-fountain of that ground: Which borrowed from this holy fire of Love, A dateless lively heat still to endure, And grew a seeting bath which yet men prove, Against strange maladies a sovereign cure: But at my mistress' eye Love's brand new-fired, The boy for trial needs would touch my breast, I sick withal the help of bath desired, And thither hied a sad distempered guest. But found no cure, the bath for my help lies, Where Cupid got new fire; my mistress' eyes. 154 The little Love-god lying once asleep, Laid by his side his heart-inflaming brand, Whilst many nymphs that vowed chaste life to keep, Came tripping by, but in her maiden hand, The fairest votary took up that fire, Which many legions of true hearts had warmed, And so the general of hot desire, Was sleeping by a virgin hand disarmed. This brand she quenched in a cool well by, Which from Love's fire took heat perpetual, Growing a bath and healthful remedy, For men discased, but I my mistress' thrall, Came there for cure and this by that I prove, Love's fire heats water, water cools not love.
中: 一二一
宁可卑劣,也不愿负卑劣的虚名, 当我们的清白蒙上不白之冤, 当正当的娱乐被人妄加恶声, 不体察我们的感情,只凭偏见。 为什么别人虚伪淫猥的眼睛 有权赞扬或诋毁我活跃的血? 专侦伺我的弱点而比我坏的人 为什么把我认为善的恣意污蔑? 我就是我,他们对于我的诋毁 只能够宣扬他们自己的卑鄙: 我本方正,他们的视线自不轨; 这种坏心眼怎么配把我非议? 除非他们固执这糊涂的邪说: 恶是人性,统治着世间的是恶。 一二二 你赠我的手册已经一笔一划 永不磨灭地刻在我的心版上, 它将超越无聊的名位的高下, 跨过一切时代,以至无穷无疆: 或者,至少直到大自然的规律 容许心和脑继续存在的一天; 直到它们把你每部分都让给 遗忘,你的记忆将永远不逸散。 可怜的手册就无法那样持久, 我也不用筹码把你的爱登记; 所以你的手册我大胆地放走, 把你交给更能珍藏你的册子: 要靠备忘录才不会把你遗忘, 岂不等于表明我对你也善忘? 一二三 不,时光,你断不能夸说我在变: 你新建的金字塔,不管多雄壮, 对我一点不稀奇,一点不新鲜; 它们只是旧景象披上了新装。 我们的生命太短促,所以羡慕 你拿来蒙骗我们的那些旧货; 幻想它们是我们心愿的产物, 不肯信从前曾经有人谈起过。 对你和你的纪录我同样不卖账, 过去和现在都不能使我惊奇, 因为你的记载和我所见都扯谎, 都多少是你疾驰中造下的孽迹。 我敢这样发誓:我将万古不渝, 不管你和你的镰刀多么锋利。 一二四 假如我的爱只是权势的嫡种, 它就会是命运的无父的私生子, 受时光的宠辱所磨折和播弄, 同野草闲花一起任人们采刈。 不呀,它并不是建立在偶然上; 它既不为荣华的笑颜所转移, 也经受得起我们这时代风尚 司空见惯的抑郁、愤懑的打击: 它不害怕那只在短期间有效、 到处散播异端和邪说的权谋, 不因骄阳而生长,雨也冲不掉, 它巍然独立在那里,深思熟筹。 被时光愚弄的人们,起来作证! 你们毕生作恶,却一死得干净。 一二五 这对我何益,纵使我高擎华盖, 用我的外表来为你妆点门面, 或奠下伟大基础,要留芳万代, 其实比荒凉和毁灭为期更短? 难道我没见过拘守仪表的人, 付出高昂的代价,却丧失一切, 厌弃淡泊而拚命去追求荤辛, 可怜的赢利者,在顾盼中雕谢? 不,请让我在你心里长保忠贞, 收下这份菲薄但由衷的献礼, 它不搀杂次品,也不包藏机心, 而只是你我间互相致送诚意。 被收买的告密者,滚开!你越诬告 真挚的心,越不能损害它分毫。 一二六* 你,小乖乖,时光的无常的沙漏 和时辰(他的小镰刀)都听你左右; 你在亏缺中生长,并昭示大众 你的爱人如何雕零而你向荣; 如果造化(掌握盈亏的大主宰), 在你迈步前进时把你挽回来, 她的目的只是:卖弄她的手法 去丢时光的脸,并把分秒扼杀。 可是你得怕她,你,她的小乖乖! 她只能暂留,并非常保,她的宝贝! 她的账目,虽延了期,必须清算: 要清偿债务,她就得把你交还。 一二七 在远古的时代黑并不算秀俊, 即使算,也没有把美的名挂上; 但如今黑既成为美的继承人, 于是美便招来了侮辱和诽谤。 因为自从每只手都修饰自然, 用艺术的假面貌去美化丑恶, 温馨的美便失掉声价和圣殿, 纵不忍辱偷生,也遭了亵渎。 所以我情妇的头发黑如乌鸦, 眼睛也恰好相衬,就像在哀泣 那些生来不美却迷人的冤家, 用假名声去中伤造化的真誉。 这哀泣那么配合她们的悲痛, 大家齐声说:这就是美的真容。 一二八 多少次,我的音乐,当你在弹奏 音乐,我眼看那些幸福的琴键 跟着你那轻盈的手指的挑逗, 发出悦耳的旋律,使我魂倒神颠—— 我多么艳羡那些琴键轻快地 跳起来狂吻你那温柔的掌心, 而我可怜的嘴唇,本该有这权利, 只能红着脸对琴键的放肆出神! 经不起这引逗,我嘴唇巴不得 做那些舞蹈着的得意小木片, 因为你手指在它们身上轻掠, 使枯木比活嘴唇更值得艳羡。 冒失的琴键既由此得到快乐, 请把手指给它们,把嘴唇给我。 一二九 把精力消耗在耻辱的沙漠里, 就是色欲在行动;而在行动前, 色欲赌假咒、嗜血、好杀、满身是 罪恶,凶残、粗野、不可靠、走极端; 欢乐尚未央,马上就感觉无味: 毫不讲理地追求;可是一到手, 又毫不讲理地厌恶,像是专为 引上钩者发狂而设下的钓钩; 在追求时疯狂,占有时也疯狂; 不管已有、现有、未有,全不放松; 感受时,幸福;感受完,无上灾殃; 事前,巴望着的欢乐;事后,一场梦。 这一切人共知;但谁也不知怎样 逃避这个引人下地狱的天堂。 一三○ 我情妇的眼睛一点不像太阳; 珊瑚比她的嘴唇还要红得多: 雪若算白,她的胸就暗褐无光, 发若是铁丝,她头上铁丝婆娑。 我见过红白的玫瑰,轻纱一般; 她颊上却找不到这样的玫瑰; 有许多芳香非常逗引人喜欢, 我情妇的呼吸并没有这香味。 我爱听她谈话,可是我很清楚 音乐的悦耳远胜于她的嗓子; 我承认从没有见过女神走路, 我情妇走路时候却脚踏实地: 可是,我敢指天发誓,我的爱侣 胜似任何被捧作天仙的美女。 一三一 尽管你不算美,你的暴虐并不 亚于那些因美而骄横的女人; 因为你知道我的心那么糊涂, 把你当作世上的至美和至珍。 不过,说实话,见过你的人都说, 你的脸缺少使爱呻吟的魅力: 尽管我心中发誓反对这说法, 我可还没有公开否认的勇气。 当然我发的誓一点也不欺人; 数不完的呻吟,一想起你的脸, 马上联翩而来,可以为我作证: 对于我,你的黑胜于一切秀妍。 你一点也不黑,除了你的人品, 可能为了这原故,诽谤才流行。 一三二 我爱上了你的眼睛;你的眼睛 晓得你的心用轻蔑把我磨折, 对我的痛苦表示柔媚的悲悯, 就披上黑色,做旖旎的哭丧者。 而的确,无论天上灿烂的朝阳 多么配合那东方苍白的面容, 或那照耀着黄昏的明星煌煌 (它照破了西方的黯淡的天空), 都不如你的脸配上那双泪眼。 哦,但愿你那颗心也一样为我 挂孝吧,既然丧服能使你增妍, 愿它和全身一样与悲悯配合。 黑是美的本质(我那时就赌咒), 一切缺少你的颜色的都是丑。 一三三 那使我的心呻吟的心该诅咒, 为了它给我和我的朋友的伤痕! 难道光是折磨我一个还不够? 还要把朋友贬为奴隶的身分? 你冷酷的眼睛已夺走我自己, 那另一个我你又无情地霸占: 我已经被他(我自己)和你抛弃; 这使我遭受三三九倍的苦难。 请用你的铁心把我的心包围, 让我可怜的心保释朋友的心; 不管谁监视我,我都把他保卫; 你就不能在狱中再对我发狠。 你还会发狠的,我是你的囚徒, 我和我的一切必然任你摆布。 一三四 因此,现在我既承认他属于你, 并照你的意旨把我当抵押品, 我情愿让你把我没收,好教你 释放另一个我来宽慰我的心: 但你不肯放,他又不愿被释放, 因为你贪得无厌,他心肠又软; 他作为保人签字在那证券上, 为了开脱我,反而把自己紧拴。 分毫不放过的高利贷者,你将要 行使你的美丽赐给你的特权 去控诉那为我而负债的知交; 于是我失去他,因为把他欺骗。 我把他失掉;你却占有他和我: 他还清了债,我依然不得开脱。 一三五* 假如女人有满足,你就得如“愿”, 还有额外的心愿,多到数不清; 而多余的我总是要把你纠缠, 想在你心愿的花上添我的锦。 你的心愿汪洋无边,难道不能 容我把我的心愿在里面隐埋? 难道别人的心愿都那么可亲, 而我的心愿就不配你的青睐? 大海,满满是水,照样承受雨点, 好把它的贮藏品大量地增加; 多心愿的你,就该把我的心愿 添上,使你的心愿得到更扩大。 别让无情的“不”把求爱者窒息; 让众愿同一愿,而我就在这愿里。 一三六 你的灵魂若骂你我走得太近, 请对你那瞎灵魂说我是你“心愿”, 而“心愿”,她晓得,对她并非陌生; 为了爱,让我的爱如愿吧,心肝。 心愿将充塞你的爱情的宝藏, 请用心愿充满它,把我算一个, 须知道宏大的容器非常便当, 多装或少装一个算不了什么。 请容许我混在队伍中间进去, 不管怎样说我总是其中之一; 把我看作微末不足道,但必须 把这微末看作你心爱的东西。 把我名字当你的爱,始终如一, 就是爱我,因为“心愿”是我的名字。 一三七 又瞎又蠢的爱,你对我的眸子 干了什么,以致它们视而不见? 它们认得美,也看见美在那里, 却居然错把那极恶当作至善。 我的眼睛若受了偏见的歪扭, 在那人人行驶的海湾里下锚, 你为何把它们的虚妄作成钩, 把我的心的判断力钩得牢牢? 难道是我的心,明知那是公地, 硬把它当作私人游乐的花园? 还是我眼睛否认明显的事实, 硬拿美丽的真蒙住丑恶的脸? 我的心和眼既迷失了真方向, 自然不得不陷入虚妄的膏肓。 一三八 我爱人赌咒说她浑身是忠实, 我相信她(虽然明知她在撒谎), 让她认为我是个无知的孩子, 不懂得世间种种骗人的勾当。 于是我就妄想她当我还年轻, 虽然明知我盛年已一去不复返; 她的油嘴滑舌我天真地信任: 这样,纯朴的真话双方都隐瞒。 但是为什么她不承认说假话? 为什么我又不承认我已经衰老? 爱的习惯是连信任也成欺诈, 老年谈恋爱最怕把年龄提到。 因此,我既欺骗她,她也欺骗我, 咱俩的爱情就在欺骗中作乐。 一三九 哦,别叫我原谅你的残酷不仁 对于我的心的不公正的冒犯; 请用舌头伤害我,可别用眼睛; 狠狠打击我,杀我,可别耍手段。 说你已爱上了别人;但当我面, 心肝,可别把眼睛向旁边张望: 何必要耍手段,既然你的强权 已够打垮我过分紧张的抵抗? 让我替你辩解说:“我爱人明知 她那明媚的流盼是我的死仇, 才把我的敌人从我脸上转移, 让它向别处放射害人的毒镞!” 可别这样;我已经一息奄奄, 不如一下盯死我,解除了苦难。 一四○ 你狠心,也该放聪明;别让侮蔑 把我不作声的忍耐逼得太甚; 免得悲哀赐我喉舌,让你领略 我的可怜的痛苦会怎样发狠。 你若学了乖,爱呵,就觉得理应 对我说你爱我,纵使你不如此; 好像暴躁的病人,当死期已近, 只愿听医生报告健康的消息; 因为我若是绝望,我就会发疯, 疯狂中难保不把你胡乱咒骂: 这乖张世界是那么不成体统, 疯狂的耳总爱听疯子的坏话。 要我不发疯,而你不遭受诽谤, 你得把眼睛正视,尽管心放荡。 一四一 说实话,我的眼睛并不喜欢你, 它们发见你身上百孔和千疮; 但眼睛瞧不起的,心儿却着迷, 它一味溺爱,不管眼睛怎样想。 我耳朵也不觉得你嗓音好听, 就是我那容易受刺激的触觉, 或味觉,或嗅觉都不见得高兴 参加你身上任何官能的盛酌。 可是无论我五种机智或五官 都不能劝阻痴心去把你侍奉, 我昂藏的丈夫仪表它再不管, 只甘愿作你傲慢的心的仆从。 不过我的灾难也非全无好处: 她引诱我犯罪,也教会我受苦。 一四二 我的罪咎是爱,你的美德是憎, 你憎我的罪,为了我多咎的爱: 哦,你只要比一比你我的实情, 就会发觉责备我多么不应该。 就算应该,也不能出自你嘴唇, 因为它们亵渎过自己的口红, 劫夺过别人床弟应得的租金, 和我一样屡次偷订爱的假盟。 我爱你,你爱他们,都一样正当, 尽管你追求他们而我讨你厌。 让哀怜的种子在你心里暗长, 终有天你的哀怜也得人哀怜。 假如你只知追求,自己却吝啬, 你自己的榜样就会招来拒绝。 一四三 看呀,像一个小心翼翼的主妇 跑着去追撵一只逃走的母鸡, 把孩子扔下,拚命快跑,要抓住 那个她急着要得回来的东西; 被扔下的孩子紧跟在她后头, 哭哭啼啼要赶上她,而她只管 望前一直追撵,一步也不停留, 不顾她那可怜的小孩的不满: 同样,你追那个逃避你的家伙, 而我(你的孩子)却在后头追你; 你若赶上了希望,请回头照顾我, 尽妈妈的本分,轻轻吻我,很和气。 只要你回头来抚慰我的悲啼, 我就会祷告神让你从心所欲。 一四四 两个爱人像精灵般把我诱惑, 一个叫安慰,另外一个叫绝望: 善的天使是个男子,丰姿绰约; 恶的幽灵是个女人,其貌不扬。 为了促使我早进地狱,那女鬼 引诱我的善精灵硬把我抛开, 还要把他迷惑,使沦落为妖魅, 用肮脏的骄傲追求纯洁的爱。 我的天使是否已变成了恶魔, 我无法一下子确定,只能猜疑; 但两个都把我扔下,互相结合, 一个想必进了另一个的地狱。 可是这一点我永远无法猜透, 除非是恶的天使把善的撵走。 一四五 爱神亲手捏就的嘴唇 对着为她而憔悴的我, 吐出了这声音说,“我恨”: 但是她一看见我难过, 心里就马上大发慈悲, 责备那一向都是用来 宣布甜蜜的判词的嘴, 教它要把口气改过来: “我恨”,她又把尾巴补缀, 那简直像明朗的白天 赶走了魔鬼似的黑夜, 把它从天堂甩进阴间。 她把“我恨”的恨字摒弃, 救了我的命说,“不是你”。 一四六 可怜的灵魂,万恶身躯的中心, 被围攻你的叛逆势力所俘掳, 为何在暗中憔悴,忍受着饥馑, 却把外壁妆得那么堂皇丽都? 赁期那么短,这倾颓中的大厦 难道还值得你这样铺张浪费? 是否要让蛆虫来继承这奢华, 把它吃光?这可是肉体的依皈? 所以,灵魂,请拿你仆人来度日, 让他消瘦,以便充实你的贮藏, 拿无用时间来兑换永欠租期, 让内心得滋养,别管外表堂皇: 这样,你将吃掉那吃人的死神, 而死神一死,世上就永无死人。 一四七 我的爱是一种热病,它老切盼 那能够使它长期保养的单方, 服食一种能维持病状的药散, 使多变的病态食欲长久盛旺。 理性(那医治我的爱情的医生) 生气我不遵守他给我的嘱咐, 把我扔下,使我绝望,因为不信 医药的欲望,我知道,是条死路。 我再无生望,既然丧失了理智, 整天都惶惑不安、烦躁、疯狂; 无论思想或谈话,全像个疯子, 脱离了真实,无目的,杂乱无章; 因为我曾赌咒说你美,说你璀璨, 你却是地狱一般黑,夜一般暗。 一四八 唉,爱把什么眼睛装在我脑里, 使我完全认不清真正的景象? 竟错判了眼睛所见到的真相? 如果我眼睛所迷恋的真是美, 为何大家都异口同声不承认? 若真不美呢,那就绝对无可讳, 爱情的眼睛不如一般人看得真: 当然喽,它怎能够,爱眼怎能够 看得真呢,它日夜都泪水汪汪? 那么,我看不准又怎算得稀有? 太阳也要等天晴才照得明亮。 狡猾的爱神!你用泪把我弄瞎, 只因怕明眼把你的丑恶揭发。 一四九 你怎能,哦,狠心的,否认我爱你, 当我和你协力把我自己厌恶? 我不是在想念你,当我为了你 完全忘掉我自己,哦,我的暴主? 我可曾把那恨你的人当朋友? 我可曾对你厌恶的人献殷勤? 不仅这样,你对我一皱起眉头, 我不是马上叹气,把自己痛恨? 我还有什么可以自豪的优点, 傲慢到不屑于为你服役奔命, 既然我的美都崇拜你的缺陷, 唯你的眼波的流徒转移是听? 但,爱呵,尽管憎吧,我已猜透你: 你爱那些明眼的,而我是瞎子。 一五○ 哦,从什么威力你取得这力量, 连缺陷也能把我的心灵支配? 教我诬蔑我可靠的目光撒谎, 并矢口否认太阳使白天明媚? 何来这化臭腐为神奇的本领, 使你的种种丑恶不堪的表现 都具有一种灵活强劲的保证, 使它们,对于我,超越一切至善? 谁教你有办法使我更加爱你, 当我听到和见到你种种可憎? 哦,尽管我锺爱着人家所嫌弃, 你总不该嫌弃我,同人家一条心: 既然你越不可爱,越使得我爱, 你就该觉得我更值得你喜爱。 一五一 爱神太年轻,不懂得良心是什么; 但谁不晓得良心是爱情所产? 那么,好骗子,就别专找我的错, 免得我的罪把温婉的你也牵连。 因为,你出卖了我,我的笨肉体 又哄我出卖我更高贵的部分; 我灵魂叮嘱我肉体,说它可以 在爱情上胜利;肉体再不作声, 一听见你的名字就马上指出 你是它的胜利品;它趾高气扬, 死心蹋地作你最鄙贱的家奴, 任你颐指气使,或倒在你身旁。 所以我可问心无愧地称呼她 做“爱”,我为她的爱起来又倒下。 一五二 你知道我对你的爱并不可靠, 但你赌咒爱我,这话更靠不住; 你撕掉床头盟,又把新约毁掉, 既结了新欢,又种下新的憎恶。 但我为什么责备你两番背盟, 自己却背了二十次!最反复是我; 我对你一切盟誓都只是滥用, 因而对于你已经失尽了信约。 我曾矢口作证你对我的深爱: 说你多热烈、多忠诚、永不变卦, 我使眼睛失明,好让你显光彩, 教眼睛发誓,把眼前景说成虚假—— 我发誓说你美!还有比这荒唐: 抹煞真理去坚持那么黑的谎! 一五三 爱神放下他的火炬,沉沉睡去: 月神的一个仙女乘了这机会 赶快把那枝煽动爱火的火炬 浸入山间一道冷冰冰的泉水; 泉水,既从这神圣的火炬得来 一股不灭的热,就永远在燃烧, 变成了沸腾的泉,一直到现在 还证实具有起死回生的功效。 但这火炬又在我情妇眼里点火, 为了试验,爱神碰一下我胸口, 我马上不舒服,又急躁又难过, 一刻不停地跑向温泉去求救, 但全不见效:能治好我的温泉 只有新燃起爱火的、我情人的眼。 一五四 小小爱神有一次呼呼地睡着, 把点燃心焰的火炬放在一边, 一群蹁跹的贞洁的仙女恰巧 走过;其中最美的一个天仙 用她处女的手把那曾经烧红 万千颗赤心的火炬偷偷拿走, 于是这玩火小法师在酣睡中 便缴械给那贞女的纤纤素手。 她把火炬往附近冷泉里一浸, 泉水被爱神的烈火烧得沸腾, 变成了温泉,能消除人间百病; 但我呵,被我情妇播弄得头疼, 跑去温泉就医,才把这点弄清: 爱烧热泉水,泉水冷不了爱情。
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[ 此帖被soneyky在2012-12-20 08:49重新编辑 ]
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