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the holiday
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- 超级经典：美国总统奥巴马给罗玉凤的回信
尊敬的罗玉凤女士：
你好，昨天早些时候，我收到了国家安全局呈
交给我的安全简报，内容声称在中国大陆有人要
将我作为其择偶对象，这令我跟我的幕僚们极为
震惊，经美国国家安全局特工的紧急调查之后，
特工组出于对我的人身安全考虑，希望我能就此
尽快作出批示，于是，我很慎重的决定，把这封
写给你，希望你不要再作出进一步地举动，以免
影响中美关系以及世界人民的安全与稳定。
罗女士，虽然我对你本人不太了解，但据希拉
里报告，她对你个人极其崇拜，她强调，你的胆
识与眼光不亚于美国的反导弹战略部署，你的相
貌完全超乎人类的想象，就连电影《阿凡达》的
导演卡梅隆也曾一度表示，虽然电影是虚构的，
但每当看到了你，他就犹如见到了现实中的潘多
拉人。他甚至还担心你会状告他的电影人物侵犯
了你的肖像权。对此，我也向你个人表示崇高的
敬意。
正如你所看到的那样，我已经有了自己的家
室，所以很抱歉，我不能满足与你结婚的心愿。
不仅如此，你的视野与智慧也是我所望尘莫及
的。因为你曾说过，前后 600年间都无人能超越
你，假如我跟你在一起的话，我很担心你会把我
卖去非洲当矿工，然后再将美国卖给本拉登。也
许你的思想可以完全秒杀爱因斯坦的《相对
论》，但希望你不要用你的大嘴去吃他发明的灯
泡，因为这样，爱迪生会很不高兴的。
当然，对你深厚的文化底蕴我也只是管中窥
豹，不能完全掌握，因为你读的书籍是美国人民
几百年来闻所未闻的，你以骄傲凯旋的姿态站在
社会发展的前沿，引领世界文化潮流，驱动社会
文化事业的走向，就连我也自叹不如，与你相距
甚远。因此，为了更好的为美国人民服务，改善
美国社会不堪的现状，我决定向所有国会议员发
放《知音》与《故事会》，让他们努力汲取其中
的精髓与内涵，早日带领美国人民走出经济危机
的困境。
最后，我代表美国所有人民，提前祝你新年
快乐，希望你能早日找到真爱，从而打破人类对
心理承受能力极限的界定
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Hello, Earlier yesterday, I received a National Security Agency, the safety briefing was given to me, content to claim that I was in mainland China as its mate object, which I told my staff were extremely shocked by the U.S. National emergency investigation by security agents, the agents group out of consideration for my personal safety and hope I can make written comments on this as soon as possible, so, I am very careful decided to bring to this letter to you, I hope you refrain from making any further moves order not to affect Sino-US relations as well as the people of the world security and stability.
She has, although I do not know you personally, but according to Hillary Clinton reported that she most admired about you, she stressed, your courage and vision of no less than the U.S. anti-missile strategic plan, your looks completely beyond the human the imagination, even the movie "Affan up," director Cameron had once said that although the film is fictional, but when I see you, he would like to see the real people in the Pandora. He even worried that you would bring a lawsuit against his film characters violation of the right of your portrait. In this regard, I have to pay high tribute to you personally.
As you can see, I already have their own married, I am sorry, I can not satisfy your desire to marry. Not only that, your vision and wisdom is my behind in the dust. Because you have said, after 600 years, no one can beat you, if I were with you, I am worried that you would I sell go to Africa as a miner, and then sold to the United States Osama bin Laden. Maybe your mind can be completely spike Einstein's "Theory of Relativity", but I hope you do not use your mouth to eat, he invented the light bulb, because of this, Edison would be very unhappy.
Of course, you have a rich cultural heritage is only piece of a jigsaw, I can not fully grasp, because you read books on the American people over the centuries unheard of, and you to be proud posture of standing in triumph the forefront of social development, leading the world's cultural trend-driven the trend of social and cultural undertakings, and even I have strange enough, and you are far apart. Therefore, in order to better serve the American people to improve the status quo of American society bear, I decided to all members of Congress issued "soulmates" and the "story" so that their efforts to learn the essence and meaning of them as soon as possible to lead the American people out of economic crisis predicament.
Finally, on behalf of all the peoples of the United States in advance I wish you a happy New Year, I hope you find true love at an early date, thus breaking the human right to define the limits of mental endurance.
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