《我的生活》_派派后花园

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[Novel] 《我的生活》

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6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XIV

第十四章


The winter of 1892 was darkened by the one cloud in my childhood's bright sky. Joy deserted my heart, and for a long, long time I lived in doubt, anxiety and fear. Books lost their charm for me, and even now the thought of those dreadful days chills my heart. A little story called "The Frost King," which I wrote and sent to Mr. Anagnos, of the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was at the root of the trouble. In order to make the matter clear, I must set forth the facts connected with this episode, which justice to my teacher and to myself compels me to relate.*

1892年冬天,我童年时代的明亮天空被一抹乌云所遮盖。喜乐的心弃我而去。在很长、很长的一段时期里,我都活在疑惑、焦虑和恐惧之中。书本在我眼中失去了吸引力,直到现在,那段可怕的日子仍然令我心有余悸。我曾编写过一个题目叫做《冰雪之王》的小故事,我还把它送给了帕金斯盲人学院的阿纳戈诺斯先生,这个故事就是引起麻烦的根源。为了把事实交代清楚,我必须先从相关的线索讲起,我想,这对于我的老师和我要陈述的事件也是公平合理的。

I wrote the story when I was at home, the autumn after I had learned to speak. We had stayed up at Fern Quarry later than usual. While we were there, Miss Sullivan had described to me the beauties of the late foliage, and it seems that her descriptions revived the memory of a story, which must have been read to me, and which I must have unconsciously retained. I thought then that I was "making up a story," as children say, and I eagerly sat down to write it before the ideas should slip from me. My thoughts flowed easily; I felt a sense of joy in the composition. Words and images came tripping to my finger ends, and as I thought out sentence after sentence, I wrote them on my braille slate. Now, if words and images come to me without effort, it is a pretty sure sign that they are not the offspring of my own mind, but stray waifs that I regretfully dismiss. At that time I eagerly absorbed everything I read without a thought of authorship, and even now I cannot be quite sure of the boundary line between my ideas and those I find in books. I suppose that is because so many of my impressions come to me through the medium of others' eyes and ears.

我是在家中写下那个故事的,时间是在我学会说话之后的那年秋天。当时,我们住在弗恩采石场,睡觉的时间也比平时晚得多。苏立文小姐向我描述了深秋树叶的美丽多彩,她的讲述似乎唤醒了(我对)某个故事沉睡的记忆。这个故事一定被我读到过,我一定是在不知不觉间记住了这个故事。于是我想,我也要编写一个故事。说写就写,我任凭各种各样的思绪从头脑中汩汩涌出。我体会到了文思泉涌的快乐,我发现了创作过程的喜悦。富有生命的文字和想象轻快地游走在我的指端,我把一个又一个句子写在了我的盲文木板上。如今,假如词语和想象变得唾手可得,显然,这表明它们并非是出自我思想的产物,最多只是被我头脑遗弃的零星碎片。那时,我如饥似渴地汲取我读到的任何东西,从来就不会对著作本身有什么想法。即使是现在,我也无法完全在我的思想和我读到的那些书之间划清界限。我想,这是因为我过多地接受了别人的所见所闻,我只能依靠别人的眼睛“看”世界。

When the story was finished, I read it to my teacher, and I recall now vividly the pleasure I felt in the more beautiful passages, and my annoyance at being interrupted to have the pronunciation of a word corrected. At dinner it was read to the assembled family, who were surprised that I could write so well. Some one asked me if I had read it in a book.

故事一写完,我就读给老师听。至今,我仍然清楚地记得当时的情景——我沉醉其中的样子,还有被老师纠正单词读音时的懊恼之情。晚餐时,我把故事读给全家人听。他们惊讶于我写得如此之好,甚至有人问我这是不是从书里读到的故事。

This question surprised me very much; for I had not the faintest recollection of having had it read to me. I spoke up and said, "Oh, no, it is my story, and I have written it for Mr. Anagnos."

这让我也感到非常吃惊,因为我不记得有谁曾为我读过这样的故事。我大声说道:“哦,不,这是我自己的故事,是我为阿纳戈诺斯先生写的故事。”

Accordingly I copied the story and sent it to him for his birthday. It was suggested that I should change the title from "Autumn Leaves" to "The Frost King," which I did. I carried the little story to the post-office myself, feeling as if I were walking on air. I little dreamed how cruelly I should pay for that birthday gift.

于是,我把故事誊写下来,并且把它作为生日礼物寄给了阿纳戈诺斯先生。有人建议我应该把“冰雪之王”这个题目改为“秋天的落叶”,但是我坚持用自己的题目。我亲自把这个小故事送到了邮局。一路上,我仿佛觉得自己走在了云层里。我完全没有料到我为这件生日礼物付出了多么惨痛的代价。

Mr. Anagnos was delighted with "The Frost King," and published it in one of the Perkins Institution reports. This was the pinnacle of my happiness, from which I was in a little while dashed to earth. I had been in Boston only a short time when it was discovered that a story similar to "The Frost King," called "The Frost Fairies" by Miss Margaret T. Canby, had appeared before I was born in a book called "Birdie and His Friends." The two stories were so much alike in thought and language that it was evident Miss Canby's story had been read to me, and that mine was--a plagiarism. It was difficult to make me understand this; but when I did understand I was astonished and grieved. No child ever drank deeper of the cup of bitterness than I did. I had disgraced myself; I had brought suspicion upon those I loved best. And yet how could it possibly have happened? I racked my brain until I was weary to recall anything about the frost that I had read before I wrote "The Frost King"; but I could remember nothing, except the common reference to Jack Frost, and a poem for children, "The Freaks of the Frost," and I knew I had not used that in my composition.

阿纳戈诺斯先生很欣赏我的《冰雪之王》,他还把故事登在了帕金斯学院的一份刊物上。可以说,这把我推到了快乐的顶点,但是片刻之间,我就从云端直坠地面。我刚回到波士顿不久,就有人发现了一篇同《冰雪之王》类似的故事,那个故事名叫《冰雪仙子》,作者是玛格利特·T.肯拜小姐。这篇故事出自一本叫做《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》的书,而这本书早在我出生之前就出版了。无论在思路还是语言上,这两篇故事是如此相似,令人不得不相信我曾看到过肯拜小姐的书,这就是说,我的故事是一篇剽窃之作。起初我感到难以理解,但是搞明白后,我感到既震惊又伤心。没有一个孩子像我这样饮下了这么多的苦水。我感到颜面尽失。我令我最爱的那些人疑虑重重。可是,这一切怎么可能发生呢?我搜索枯肠左思右想,直到厌倦了回忆我读到过的任何有关森林的故事。事实上,在写《冰雪之王》之前,我不记得看到过这类故事。也许杰克·弗罗斯特为孩子们写的一首叫做《寒冬奇想》的诗和冰雪有关,可是我绝对没有在我的故事中使用到诗里的内容。

At first Mr. Anagnos, though deeply troubled, seemed to believe me. He was unusually tender and kind to me, and for a brief space the shadow lifted. To please him I tried not to be unhappy, and to make myself as pretty as possible for the celebration of Washington's birthday, which took place very soon after I received the sad news.

虽然阿纳戈诺斯先生深受困扰,但是他似乎相信我的清白。很快,这段短暂的阴霾消散了,他变得对我更加和蔼可亲了。为了让他高兴,我尽量掩饰自己的不快,我以最优雅的举止参加了华盛顿诞辰的庆典活动,这件事就发生在我得到那个坏消息之后不久。

I was to be Ceres in a kind of masque given by the blind girls. How well I remember the graceful draperies that enfolded me, the bright autumn leaves that wreathed my head, and the fruit and grain at my feet and in my hands, and beneath all the gaiety of the masque the oppressive sense of coming ill that made my heart heavy.

在伙伴们组织的假面舞会中,我扮演了谷物女神色瑞斯。我的身上围裹着华丽的织物,头上缠绕着亮闪闪的秋叶,手脚周围布满了果实和谷物;而在欢乐的气氛之下,我的胸中则积蓄着深深的愁苦。

The night before the celebration, one of the teachers of the Institution had asked me a question connected with "The Frost King," and I was telling her that Miss Sullivan had talked to me about Jack Frost and his wonderful works. Something I said made her think she detected in my words a confession that I did remember Miss Canby's story of "The Frost Fairies," and she laid her conclusions before Mr. Anagnos, although I had told her most emphatically that she was mistaken.

庆典活动的前一天晚上,学院里的一位老师问了我一个同《冰雪之王》有关的问题。我告诉她,苏立文小姐曾跟我介绍过杰克·弗罗斯特及其出色的诗作。我想我讲的某些事情让她产生了不切实际的想法,因为她从中觉察到了我对肯拜小姐的《冰雪仙子》记忆犹新,甚至认为我坦白交代了自己的过错。虽然我一再重申她的错误推断,但她还是把自己的结论提交给了阿纳戈诺斯先生。

Mr. Anagnos, who loved me tenderly, thinking that he had been deceived, turned a deaf ear to the pleadings of love and innocence. He believed, or at least suspected, that Miss Sullivan and I had deliberately stolen the bright thoughts of another and imposed them on him to win his admiration. I was brought before a court of investigation composed of the teachers and officers of the Institution, and Miss Sullivan was asked to leave me. Then I was questioned and cross-questioned with what seemed to me a determination on the part of my judges to force me to acknowledge that I remembered having had "The Frost Fairies" read to me. I felt in every question the doubt and suspicion that was in their minds, and I felt, too, that a loved friend was looking at me reproachfully, although I could not have put all this into words. The blood pressed about my thumping heart, and I could scarcely speak, except in monosyllables. Even the consciousness that it was only a dreadful mistake did not lessen my suffering, and when at last I was allowed to leave the room, I was dazed and did not notice my teacher's caresses, or the tender words of my friends, who said I was a brave little girl and they were proud of me.

于是,对我和蔼友善的阿纳戈诺斯先生认为受到了欺骗,继而对我们为捍卫清白而做的辩解充耳不闻。他相信,或者至少是怀疑,我和苏立文小姐故意偷取了别人的思想精华,并且将其用作赢得他人赞赏的工具。我还受到了由学院教师和官员组成的调查法庭的质询,而苏立文小姐则被告知要暂时回避。随后,我被翻来覆去地问讯,调查团似乎下定决心要将我判定为曾读过《冰雪仙子》。我认为每一个引起怀疑的问题都是他们主观臆断的结果;同时,我也感觉到了一个亲密的朋友正在用责备的眼神看着我,只是我无法把这些感受用言语表达出来。我想一吐胸中的块垒,但是除了几个简单的音节,我一句话也说不出来。甚至连我的意识也变成了可怕的帮凶,它无法解除我的痛苦。终于,我被获准离开了房间,我头晕脑涨,根本没有留意老师的拥抱和朋友们的好言安慰。朋友们都说我是一个勇敢的女孩,她们为我感到自豪。

As I lay in my bed that night, I wept as I hope few children have wept. I felt so cold, I imagined I should die before morning, and the thought comforted me. I think if this sorrow had come to me when I was older, it would have broken my spirit beyond repairing. But the angel of forgetfulness has gathered up and carried away much of the misery and all the bitterness of those sad days.

那晚我躺在床上,我难过得哭了,我希望别的孩子不要遭受我这样的痛苦。我浑身发冷,我觉得自己在天亮之前就会死去;而且,这种想法令我感到了一丝宽慰。我想,假如在我长大后遇到这种伤心事,那么我的灵魂一定会破碎到无法修补的境地。但是,遗忘天使迟早会收集起痛苦岁月的所有悲伤,并且将其彻底清除出脆弱的心灵。

Miss Sullivan had never heard of "The Frost Fairies" or of the book in which it was published. With the assistance of Dr. Alexander Graham Bell, she investigated the matter carefully, and at last it came out that Mrs. Sophia C. Hopkins had a copy of Miss Canby's "Birdie and His Friends" in 1888, the year that we spent the summer with her at Brewster. Mrs. Hopkins was unable to find her copy; but she has told me that at that time, while Miss Sullivan was away on a vacation, she tried to amuse me by reading from various books, and although she could not remember reading "The Frost Fairies" any more than I, yet she felt sure that "Birdie and His Friends" was one of them. She explained the disappearance of the book by the fact that she had a short time before sold her house and disposed of many juvenile books, such as old schoolbooks and fairy tales, and that "Birdie and His Friends" was probably among them.

苏立文小姐从来没有听说过《冰雪仙子》的故事,也不知道有这么一本书。在亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔博士的帮助下,她仔细地调查了这件事,最后终于有了些眉目。1888年,索菲娅·C.霍普金斯夫人有一本肯拜小姐的《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》。那一年,我们和她一起在布鲁斯特度过了夏天。霍普金斯夫人已经无法找到那本书,但是她告诉我,当时苏立文小姐正在外出休假,为了逗我开心,她就为我读各种各样的书。虽然她不记得曾为我读过《冰雪仙子》的故事,但是她确信《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》应该是其中的一本书。她向我解释了那本书消失的原因。事实上,在把房子卖掉之前,她就处理了大量的青少年读物、老课本和童话故事,而《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》很可能就夹在其中。

The stories had little or no meaning for me then; but the mere spelling of the strange words was sufficient to amuse a little child who could do almost nothing to amuse herself; and although I do not recall a single circumstance connected with the reading of the stories, yet I cannot help thinking that I made a great effort to remember the words, with the intention of having my teacher explain them when she returned. One thing is certain, the language was ineffaceably stamped upon my brain, though for a long time no one knew it, least of all myself.

当时,这些故事并没有给我留下什么印象,不过,那些奇异的单词拼写足以让一个没有任何乐趣的小孩子开心一阵子了。虽然我连任何一个同故事有关的情节都记不起来了,但是我无法忘掉学习单词的艰苦过程。在老师休假归来后,我马上让老师给我解释那些陌生的词。因此,有一件事是肯定的——语言在我头脑中留下的烙印是无法抹煞的,只是很久以来,我并没有去特别留意这个问题。

When Miss Sullivan came back, I did not speak to her about "The Frost Fairies," probably because she began at once to read "Little Lord Fauntleroy," which filled my mind to the exclusion of everything else. But the fact remains that Miss Canby's story was read to me once, and that long after I had forgotten it, it came back to me so naturally that I never suspected that it was the child of another mind.

苏立文小姐回来后,我并没有对她讲《冰雪仙子》的事,这可能是因为她一回来就给我读《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》,我满脑子里装的都是这个故事,就暂时把别的事都抛到了一边。但实际情况是,曾经有人把肯拜小姐的故事读给我听,这是一种残存的记忆,虽然时间会令人遗忘,但是对我而言,记忆恢复时还是显得那么自然。我从不怀疑那个故事就是某个孩童的另一个头脑的产物。

In my trouble I received many messages of love and sympathy. All the friends I loved best, except one, have remained my own to the present time.

在那段艰难的日子里,我得到了很多人的同情和关爱,我的朋友们无一例外地伸出援手,把我从低谷中拉上来。

Miss Canby herself wrote kindly, "Some day you will write a great story out of your own head, that will be a comfort and help to many." But this kind prophecy has never been fulfilled. I have never played with words again for the mere pleasure of the game. Indeed, I have ever since been tortured by the fear that what I write is not my own. For a long time, when I wrote a letter, even to my mother, I was seized with a sudden feeling of terror, and I would spell the sentences over and over, to make sure that I had not read them in a book. Had it not been for the persistent encouragement of Miss Sullivan, I think I should have given up trying to write altogether.

肯拜小姐亲自写信安慰我:“有朝一日,你也会用自己的头脑写出一篇伟大的故事,它将会抚慰很多人,也会对他们助益匪浅。”但是这个预言从来没有实现,我不再做仅仅为了娱乐而玩弄辞藻的游戏了。实际上,自那以后,我被恐惧折磨着,我害怕我写的东西不是我自己的。有很长一段时间,即便是在给母亲写信的时候,我也会感到如临大敌般惴惴不安。我会反反复复地拼写句子,以确信我并没有在某本书中读到过这些话。如果没有苏立文小姐持久的鼓励,我想我肯定无法把那些单词组合成句。

I have read "The Frost Fairies" since, also the letters I wrote in which I used other ideas of Miss Canby's. I find in one of them, a letter to Mr. Anagnos, dated September 29, 1891, words and sentiments exactly like those of the book. At the time I was writing "The Frost King," and this letter, like many others, contains phrases which show that my mind was saturated with the story. I represent my teacher as saying to me of the golden autumn leaves, "Yes, they are beautiful enough to comfort us for the flight of summer"--an idea direct from Miss Canby's story.

事实上,那时我不但读了《冰雪仙子》,我还在我写的信中借用了肯拜小姐的一些观点。我在一封信中找到了佐证,这封信是写给阿纳戈诺斯先生的,时间是1891年9月29日,信中的措辞和观点确实很像那本书的语言。当时,我正在写《冰雪之王》,就像我写的很多别的信一样,这封信中也包含了那篇故事所使用的语句。当然,这些成语都是被我融会贯通后,能够代表我思想的词句。比如,我是这样描述老师所说的秋日中的金黄色的树叶的:“是的,它们的美丽足以安抚我们对逝去夏日的眷恋之情。”——这样的一个观点直接来自于肯拜小姐的故事。

This habit of assimilating what pleased me and giving it out again as my own appears in much of my early correspondence and my first attempts at writing. In a composition which I wrote about the old cities of Greece and Italy, I borrowed my glowing descriptions, with variations, from sources I have forgotten. I knew Mr. Anagnos's great love of antiquity and his enthusiastic appreciation of all beautiful sentiments about Italy and Greece. I therefore gathered from all the books I read every bit of poetry or of history that I thought would give him pleasure. Mr. Anagnos, in speaking of my composition on the cities, has said, "These ideas are poetic in their essence." But I do not understand how he ever thought a blind and deaf child of eleven could have invented them. Yet I cannot think that because I did not originate the ideas, my little composition is therefore quite devoid of interest. It shows me that I could express my appreciation of beautiful and poetic ideas in clear and animated language.

这种深受周围事物同化的习性令我乐此不疲,我在早期通信和最初的写作中无不透露出同化因素的影响。我曾在自己的作文中写到了希腊和意大利的古老城市,我借用了多姿多彩的生动描述,但是我已经不记得它们的出处了。我知道阿纳戈诺斯先生对古代希腊和罗马的遗迹情有独钟,并且对它们所创造的古代文明推崇备至。于是,我便从我读过的所有书本中搜集出相关的诗歌和历史,我想这一定会令他很开心。阿纳戈诺斯先生则说我描写古代城市的作文“诗意地再现了其内在特质”。但我并不知晓他是如何看待一个十一岁的盲聋小孩的遣词造句的。总之,我并不认为我有创作的本事,因为我无法创造自己的观点,所以我的作文空泛而无趣也就在所难免了。这反倒提醒了我,我应该使用清晰而生动的语言来描述美好的事物,品评诗意的思想。

Those early compositions were mental gymnastics. I was learning, as all young and inexperienced persons learn, by assimilation and imitation, to put ideas into words. Everything I found in books that pleased me I retained in my memory, consciously or unconsciously, and adapted it. The young writer, as Stevenson has said, instinctively tries to copy whatever seems most admirable, and he shifts his admiration with astonishing versatility. It is only after years of this sort of practice that even great men have learned to marshal the legion of words which come thronging through every byway of the mind.

那些作文构成了我早期的智力训练课程。像所有缺乏经验的年轻人一样,我通过吸收和模仿将自己的思想诉诸文字。书本中任何给我留下愉悦记忆的事物——无论是有意还是无意——都适用于这个原则。有一个年轻的作家史蒂文森曾说过,受本能驱使,他总是尽其所能地再现那些最令人景仰的崇高思想,而且,他会令人惊讶地将这种崇高转化为千变万化的文字效果。即使是伟大的人物,也只有经年累月地持续训练,才能汇聚起攻往每一条思想小径的文字大军。

I am afraid I have not yet completed this process. It is certain that I cannot always distinguish my own thoughts from those I read, because what I read becomes the very substance and texture of my mind. Consequently, in nearly all that I write, I produce something which very much resembles the crazy patchwork I used to make when I first learned to sew. This patchwork was made of all sorts of odds and ends--pretty bits of silk and velvet; but the coarse pieces that were not pleasant to touch always predominated. Likewise my compositions are made up of crude notions of my own, inlaid with the brighter thoughts and riper opinions of the authors I have read. It seems to me that the great difficulty of writing is to make the language of the educated mind express our confused ideas, half feelings, half thoughts, when we are little more than bundles of instinctive tendencies. Trying to write is very much like trying to put a Chinese puzzle together. We have a pattern in mind which we wish to work out in words; but the words will not fit the spaces, or, if they do, they will not match the design. But we keep on trying because we know that others have succeeded, and we are not willing to acknowledge defeat.

至今,我仍担心自己无法完成这一过程。显而易见的是,我不能总是从我读到的东西里辨认出我自己的思想,因为我读过的东西已经变成了我的精神食粮,它已经与我融为一体。所以说,在我写的几乎所有文章里,我所创造出的是这样一种东西——它很像我最初学习女红时所缝制的一件色彩斑斓的百衲衣。这件百衲衣由各种各样的碎布头制成,虽然不乏精美的丝绸和天鹅绒,可是这些拼凑的碎片始终不能令人满意。同样,我的作文也是既有我自己的粗鄙见解,也不乏一些大家的真知灼见。在我看来,写作的最大困难就在于,我们要用理性的语言去表达自身混乱的思绪、不成熟的情感和幼稚的观念,可以说,这基本上属于一种本能行为。尝试写作的过程就像拼凑中国的七巧板和九连环一样复杂。我们在脑海中勾勒出一幅图案,我们希望借助文字表达其含义,但是在通常情况下,文字并不适用于这个范畴,或者说,文字同那幅图案不相匹配。尽管如此,我们依旧锲而不舍地努力尝试,因为我们知道别人已经取得了成功,我们不愿意承认自己是失败者。

"There is no way to become original, except to be born so," says Stevenson, and although I may not be original, I hope sometime to outgrow my artificial, periwigged compositions. Then, perhaps, my own thoughts and experiences will come to the surface. Meanwhile I trust and hope and persevere, and try not to let the bitter memory of "The Frost King" trammel my efforts.

尽快创造出自己的替代品,虽然这些替代品只是头戴假发面具的矫饰文字。或许有朝一日,我自己的思想和人生经验也会尽显本色。在学习写作的过程中,我满怀信心,坚持不懈,并且尽量不让《冰雪之王》的苦涩记忆变成我学习之路上的阻碍。

So this sad experience may have done me good and set me thinking on some of the problems of composition. My only regret is that it resulted in the loss of one of my dearest friends, Mr. Anagnos.

对我而言,这个惨痛的经历未尝不是一件好事,它让我对作文中所暴露的问题做出更加深入的思考。我唯一感到遗憾的是,我因此失去了最亲爱的朋友阿纳戈诺斯先生的友谊。

Since the publication of "The Story of My Life" in the Ladies' Home Journal, Mr. Anagnos has made a statement, in a letter to Mr. Macy, that at the time of the "Frost King" matter, he believed I was innocent. He says, the court of investigation before which I was brought consisted of eight people: four blind, four seeing persons. Four of them, he says, thought I knew that Miss Canby's story had been read to me, and the others did not hold this view. Mr. Anagnos states that he cast his vote with those who were favourable to me.

《我的生活》刊登在《女士之家》杂志以后,阿纳戈诺斯先生便发表了一项声明,他在给梅西先生的一封信中提到了《冰雪之王》事件。他相信我是无辜的,据他说,调查团由八名成员组成,包括四名盲人,四名正常人。其中的四人认为我读过肯拜小姐的故事,而另外四人则不支持这种观点。阿纳戈诺斯先生表示,作为调查团成员之一,他投了支持我的一票。

But, however the case may have been, with whichever side he may have cast his vote, when I went into the room where Mr. Anagnos had so often held me on his knee and, forgetting his many cares, had shared in my frolics, and found there persons who seemed to doubt me, I felt that there was something hostile and menacing in the very atmosphere, and subsequent events have borne out this impression. For two years he seems to have held the belief that Miss Sullivan and I were innocent. Then he evidently retracted his favourable judgment, why I do not know. Nor did I know the details of the investigation. I never knew even the names of the members of the "court" who did not speak to me. I was too excited to notice anything, too frightened to ask questions. Indeed, I could scarcely think what I was saying, or what was being said to me.

其实,无论这一事件的结果如何,也无论阿纳戈诺斯先生把自己的票投向哪一方,每当我走进他的办公室时,他总会把我抱在膝上嬉戏玩耍,从而忘掉种种烦恼。当时,他已经发觉到有人对我产生了怀疑,而我也感到周围弥漫着某种险恶的敌对气氛;其后发生的事件终于印证了这种不祥的预感。整整两年间,阿纳戈诺斯先生似乎一直相信我和苏立文小姐是清白无辜的。但是后来,他的立场发生了明显的偏转,我不知道这是为什么,也不知道具体的调查细节。我甚至连“陪审团”成员的名字都不知道,他们也不曾跟我说过话。当时,我心情激动,难以顾及其他事情;而且,我吓得惊恐万状,根本无法提出异议。事实上,我几乎想不起来我说过什么话,或者别人跟我说过什么话。

I have given this account of the "Frost King" affair because it was important in my life and education; and, in order that there might be no misunderstanding, I have set forth all the facts as they appear to me, without a thought of defending myself or of laying blame on any one.

我所以把《冰雪之王》事件详加描述,是因为它在我接受教育的过程中意义非常。行为得当,也就不会引起误解发生。因此,一旦误解再度出现时,我会阐明事实,既不会巧言辩白,也不会怨天尤人。


舞矽

ZxID:12778187


等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
举报 只看该作者 21楼  发表于: 2012-08-24 0
Chapter XV

第十五章


The summer and winter following the "Frost King" incident I spent with my family in Alabama. I recall with delight that home-going. Everything had budded and blossomed. I was happy. "The Frost King" was forgotten.

《冰雪之王》事件之后那一年的夏天和冬天,我是同家人一起在亚拉巴马度过的。我愉快地找到了“归家”的感觉。万事万物都经历了抽枝发芽、竞相怒放的过程。我很高兴《冰雪之王》事件已成为过眼云烟。

When the ground was strewn with the crimson and golden leaves of autumn, and the musk-scented grapes that covered the arbour at the end of the garden were turning golden brown in the sunshine, I began to write a sketch of my life--a year after I had written "The Frost King."

秋天,大地撒满了深红色和金黄色的树叶。散发着麝香味的葡萄藤遮盖了花园尽头的凉亭。在阳光的照耀下,一串串葡萄变成了金灿灿的红褐色。置身其中,我开始用笔勾勒我的生活——此时已经距我写《冰雪之王》一年有余。

I was still excessively scrupulous about everything I wrote. The thought that what I wrote might not be absolutely my own tormented me. No one knew of these fears except my teacher. A strange sensitiveness prevented me from referring to the "Frost King"; and often when an idea flashed out in the course of conversation I would spell softly to her, "I am not sure it is mine." At other times, in the midst of a paragraph I was writing, I said to myself, "Suppose it should be found that all this was written by some one long ago!" An impish fear clutched my hand, so that I could not write any more that day. And even now I sometimes feel the same uneasiness and disquietude. Miss Sullivan consoled and helped me in every way she could think of; but the terrible experience I had passed through left a lasting impression on my mind, the significance of which I am only just beginning to understand. It was with the hope of restoring my self-confidence that she persuaded me to write for the Youth's Companion a brief account of my life. I was then twelve years old. As I look back on my struggle to write that little story, it seems to me that I must have had a prophetic vision of the good that would come of the undertaking, or I should surely have failed.

此时,我仍旧对我写的任何东西抱着谨小慎微的态度。我写的东西也许并不完全属于我自己——这样的想法深深地折磨着我。除了我的老师,没有人知晓我的恐惧心理。这种神经过敏的古怪心理使我对《冰雪之王》事件这类事敬而远之。因此常会有这样的事发生,在同老师交谈的过程中,当我萌生出一个想法时,我就会对她拼写出这样的句子:“我不太肯定这是我自己的。”另外,当我把某段文字写到中间的时候,我就会对自己说:“你写的这些东西可能早已经被人写过了!”一种戏谑般的恐惧感攫住了我的双手,于是,那一天我会无法再写出任何东西。直到现在,我还能时常感受到同样的忧虑和不安。苏立文小姐想方设法帮我摆脱困境,但是可怕的经历给我留下了难以磨灭的印记,而对于其中的重要意义我也只是刚刚开始理解。为了重新树立我的自信心,老师说服我为《青年之友》写一篇短小精悍的生活自传。那一年我十二岁,回顾起来,那篇小故事的写作过程也经历了一番内心挣扎;我当时一定是对这项工作的结果有了一个良好的预期,否则一定会失败。

I wrote timidly, fearfully, but resolutely, urged on by my teacher, who knew that if I persevered, I should find my mental foothold again and get a grip on my faculties. Up to the time of the "Frost King" episode, I had lived the unconscious life of a little child; now my thoughts were turned inward, and I beheld things invisible. Gradually I emerged from the penumbra of that experience with a mind made clearer by trial and with a truer knowledge of life.

虽然下笔时有些提心吊胆,战战兢兢,但是在老师的督促下,我写得很坚决。她知道,如果我能够坚持不懈,就一定会再次找到精神的立足点,也一定会重拾写作才能的。直到《冰雪之王》事件之前,我一直生活在一个小孩子的懵懂无知之中。如今,我变得更加内敛,我看待事物的角度更加深入。渐渐地,我从日蚀的阴影中显现出来,在生命的真谛面前,经过了严格考验的心智也变得更加澄澈清明了。

The chief events of the year 1893 were my trip to Washington during the inauguration of President Cleveland, and visits to Niagara and the World's Fair. Under such circumstances my studies were constantly interrupted and often put aside for many weeks, so that it is impossible for me to give a connected account of them.

1893年的主要大事,就是在克利夫兰总统就职典礼期间的华盛顿之行,参观尼亚加拉(瀑布)和世界博览会。旅行期间,我的学业有时会中断数星期之久,所以我不太可能把这些事联系在一起进行叙述。

We went to Niagara in March, 1893. It is difficult to describe my emotions when I stood on the point which overhangs the American Falls and felt the air vibrate and the earth tremble.

我们是在1893年3月去的尼亚加拉。当我站在美洲瀑布的悬崖边上,感受着空气的震动和大地的颤抖,我激动的心情是难以用语言描述的。

It seems strange to many people that I should be impressed by the wonders and beauties of Niagara. They are always asking: "What does this beauty or that music mean to you? You cannot see the waves rolling up the beach or hear their roar. What do they mean to you?" In the most evident sense they mean everything. I cannot fathom or define their meaning any more than I can fathom or define love or religion or goodness.

在很多人眼中,这似乎有些奇怪,我是如何被尼亚加拉(瀑布)的雄浑美丽所感动的呢?他们总会问我:“它的美妙和音响对你而言意味着什么?你看不见惊涛拍岸,也听不到巨浪咆哮,可这些对你来说意味着什么?”我最明显的感觉是,它们代表了一切。的确,我无法透彻理解它们的含义并对其做出解释,但是我能透彻理解博爱、宗教以及仁慈的含义并对其做出解释。

During the summer of 1893, Miss Sullivan and I visited the World's Fair with Dr. Alexander Graham Bell. I recall with unmixed delight those days when a thousand childish fancies became beautiful realities. Every day in imagination I made a trip round the world, and I saw many wonders from the uttermost parts of the earth--marvels of invention, treasuries of industry and skill and all the activities of human life actually passed under my finger tips.

1893年夏天,我和苏立文小姐随同亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔博士参观了世界博览会。我对那段快乐时光记忆犹新,上千个天真的想象全都变成了美丽的现实。每天我都会在想象中周游世界,我见识了许多世界奇迹——伟大的发明,工业技术的结晶,以及多姿多彩的人类生活一一在我的指尖下滑过。

I liked to visit the Midway Plaisance. It seemed like the "Arabian Nights," it was crammed so full of novelty and interest. Here was the India of my books in the curious bazaar with its Shivas and elephant-gods; there was the land of the Pyramids concentrated in a model Cairo with its mosques and its long processions of camels; yonder were the lagoons of Venice, where we sailed every evening when the city and the fountains were illuminated. I also went on board a Viking ship which lay a short distance from the little craft. I had been on a man-of-war before, in Boston, and it interested me to see, on this Viking ship, how the seaman was once all in all--how he sailed and took storm and calm alike with undaunted heart, and gave chase to whosoever reechoed his cry, "We are of the sea!" and fought with brains and sinews, self-reliant, self-sufficient, instead of being thrust into the background by unintelligent machinery, as Jack is to-day. So it always is--"man only is interesting to man."

我最喜欢的地方是普赖桑斯游乐场,这里就像“天方夜谭”,里面充满了各色各样的奇思妙想。我能感受到书中描写的印度风情——奇特的集市满是“湿婆”和“象神”的雕像;这里还有金字塔和开罗城的景观模型,清真寺和长途跋涉的驼队贯穿其中;更远一点的地方是威尼斯水道,每晚,我们都乘船航行在灯光绚烂的城市和喷泉之间。我还登上了一艘放置在微缩城外的维京海盗船,在波士顿的时候我也曾登上过军舰,如今,我兴味盎然地看着维京船的海员们如何扬帆远航,如何气定神闲地面对风暴。人们的耳边回响着他们的呐喊:“我们属于大海!”他们同大海抗衡的武器是灵活的头脑和强健的体力;他们独来独往,自给自足,并没有像今天的水手们那样被湮没在愚蠢的机械文明之下。所以还是老话说得好——“男人只应做属于男人的事。”

At a little distance from this ship there was a model of the Santa Maria, which I also examined. The captain showed me Columbus's cabin and the desk with an hour-glass on it. This small instrument impressed me most because it made me think how weary the heroic navigator must have felt as he saw the sand dropping grain by grain while desperate men were plotting against his life.

海盗船附近还有一艘“圣玛利亚”号仿制帆船。“船长”领我参观了哥伦布住的船舱,其中,放在桌子上的一个沙漏给我留下了深刻印象。这个小巧的仪器让我想到了这位伟大的航海家所承受的巨大考验,在身心疲惫的状况下,他要看着沙粒一点一点滴落;与此同时,他还要同内心的绝望情绪作顽强的抗争。

Mr. Higinbotham, President of the World's Fair, kindly gave me permission to touch the exhibits, and with an eagerness as insatiable as that with which Pizarro seized the treasures of Peru, I took in the glories of the Fair with my fingers. It was a sort of tangible kaleidoscope, this white city of the West. Everything fascinated me, especially the French bronzes. They were so lifelike, I thought they were angel visions which the artist had caught and bound in earthly forms.

希金鲍瑟姆先生是世界博览会的主席,他为人随和并且允许我随意触摸展会上的展品。于是,我就像贪得无厌的皮萨罗掳掠秘鲁的珍宝一样,我用手指“吸纳”了博览会的所有精华。这有点像一个可以触摸的万花筒,每一样东西都让我感到无比新奇,特别是法国的青铜雕像。这些栩栩如生的雕像宛如再现的天使,我想,艺术家们一定是抓住了天使的形象并将其塑造成型的。

At the Cape of Good Hope exhibit, I learned much about the processes of mining diamonds. Whenever it was possible, I touched the machinery while it was in motion, so as to get a clearer idea how the stones were weighed, cut, and polished. I searched in the washings for a diamond and found it myself--the only true diamond, they said, that was ever found in the United States.

在“好望角”展区,我了解了许多有关钻石开采过程的知识。只要有可能,我都会摸一摸正在运转的机器,这样我就能更清晰地感受到矿石有多重,它们又是如何被切割被抛光的。我还亲自摸索到了一块正在清洗之中的钻石——人们告诉我说,这是在美国发现的唯一一颗真正的钻石。

Dr. Bell went everywhere with us and in his own delightful way described to me the objects of greatest interest. In the electrical building we examined the telephones, autophones, phonographs, and other inventions, and he made me understand how it is possible to send a message on wires that mock space and outrun time, and, like Prometheus, to draw fire from the sky. We also visited the anthropological department, and I was much interested in the relics of ancient Mexico, in the rude stone implements that are so often the only record of an age--the simple monuments of nature's unlettered children (so I thought as I fingered them) that seem bound to last while the memorials of kings and sages crumble in dust away--and in the Egyptian mummies, which I shrank from touching. From these relics I learned more about the progress of man than I have heard or read since.

贝尔博士陪我们参观了所有的地方,他以令人愉快的方式向我描述了最有趣的展品。在电子大厦,我们试用了电话机、对讲机、留声机和其他发明。贝尔博士让我明白了信息是如何突破了空间和时间的羁绊而在电线上传播的,这就像普罗米修斯将火种带到了人间一样伟大。我们还参观了人类学展区,我对古代墨西哥文物产生了浓厚兴趣。粗糙的石器是那个时代仅有的记录,也是未开化的人类童年时期的简陋遗物(这是我用手指触摸后的感想)。一代代君王和圣贤的功劳簿在历史的尘埃中分崩离析,在埃及的木乃伊中被死亡尘封,但有些遗迹仍有幸留存到现在。通过对这些遗物的触摸,我更多地了解了人类文明的进化过程,而依靠别人的讲解和阅读是无法领会其中的深意的。

All these experiences added a great many new terms to my vocabulary, and in the three weeks I spent at the Fair I took a long leap from the little child's interest in fairy tales and toys to the appreciation of the real and the earnest in the workaday world.

所有这些经历令我的词汇量达到了一个新的水平。我在博览会耽延了整整三个星期,我从一个沉迷于童话故事和玩具的小孩子,一跃成为懂得欣赏平凡世界真善美的有心人。


舞矽

ZxID:12778187


等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
举报 只看该作者 22楼  发表于: 2012-08-24 0
Chapter XVI

第十六章


Before October, 1893, I had studied various subjects by myself in a more or less desultory manner. I read the histories of Greece, Rome and the United States. I had a French grammar in raised print, and as I already knew some French, I often amused myself by composing in my head short exercises, using the new words as I came across them, and ignoring rules and other technicalities as much as possible. I even tried, without aid, to master the French pronunciation, as I found all the letters and sounds described in the book. Of course this was tasking slender powers for great ends; but it gave me something to do on a rainy day, and I acquired a sufficient knowledge of French to read with pleasure La Fontaine's "Fables," "Le Medecin Malgr?Lui" and passages from "Athalie."

到1893年10月之前,我已经断断续续地自学了多种类型的科目。我阅读了希腊、罗马和美国的历史。我有一本盲文法语语法书,而且已经学习了几句法语。为了自娱自乐,我经常默默地在脑海里做一些小练习。我用随意想到的新单词造句,而且不太理会语法规则和其他的技术性问题。在无人帮助的情况下,我甚至尝试掌握法语发音,因为我在这本书里发现了所有字母和音节的发音讲解。当然,对于宏大的目标而言,这种努力是远远不够的;但是不管怎么说,在淫雨霏霏的日子里,我总可以有事可干。就这样,我所掌握的法语知识足够使我阅读有趣的拉封丹的寓言,莫里哀的《屈打成医》,以及拉辛的《阿达莉》中的段落。

I also gave considerable time to the improvement of my speech. I read aloud to Miss Sullivan and recited passages from my favourite poets, which I had committed to memory; she corrected my pronunciation and helped me to phrase and inflect. It was not, however, until October, 1893, after I had recovered from the fatigue and excitement of my visit to the World's Fair, that I began to have lessons in special subjects at fixed hours.

我也用相当多的时间来提高我的说话能力。我大声地为苏立文小姐朗读课文,背诵我喜爱的诗歌章节;她则纠正我的发音并帮我断句和改变词形。总之,直到1893年10月,也就是在我从参观世界博览会的疲劳和兴奋状态中恢复平静之后,我才开始在固定时间内学习一些特殊的课程。

Miss Sullivan and I were at that time in Hulton, Pennsylvania, visiting the family of Mr. William Wade. Mr. Irons, a neighbour of theirs, was a good Latin scholar; it was arranged that I should study under him. I remember him as a man of rare, sweet nature and of wide experience. He taught me Latin grammar principally; but he often helped me in arithmetic, which I found as troublesome as it was uninteresting. Mr. Irons also read with me Tennyson's "In Memoriam." I had read many books before, but never from a critical point of view. I learned for the first time to know an author, to recognize his style as I recognize the clasp of a friend's hand.

那时,我和苏立文小姐正在宾夕法尼亚州的霍尔顿,当时我们客居在威廉·韦德先生家。艾恩先生是韦德先生家的邻居,他是一个优秀的拉丁语学者,所以跟他学习拉丁语也就成了顺理成章的事。在我的记忆中,艾恩先生是一个生性乐观、博学多闻的杰出人士。他主要教我拉丁语语法,但是他经常帮我解决算术难题——对我而言,那些数字运算实在令人挠头。艾恩先生还陪我一起读丁尼生的《悼念》。我以前也读过很多书,但是从来都不曾看到过任何批判性的观点,这是我第一次遇到具有思辨思想的作家,我认同他的文风,正如我认同一个朋友的牵手一样。

At first I was rather unwilling to study Latin grammar. It seemed absurd to waste time analyzing, every word I came across--noun, genitive, singular, feminine--when its meaning was quite plain. I thought I might just as well describe my pet in order to know it--order, vertebrate; division, quadruped; class, mammalia; genus, felinus; species, cat; individual, Tabby. But as I got deeper into the subject, I became more interested, and the beauty of the language delighted me. I often amused myself by reading Latin passages, picking up words I understood and trying to make sense. I have never ceased to enjoy this pastime.

起初,我是抱着很不情愿的态度学习拉丁语的。对你所遇到的每一个单词进行分析——名词属性,所有格,单数,阴性——似乎是一种浪费时间的愚蠢举动,尤其是当这些词的意思十分清楚明了的时候。为了能用这些拉丁词描述我的宠物,我还是学到了一些知识——目,脊椎动物;门,四足动物;纲,哺乳动物;属,猫科;个体,虎斑猫。随着学习的深入,我变得越来越有兴趣,语言之美实在难以言说。我常常读拉丁文文章自娱自乐,我会把学过的词挑选出来并体味其中的含义。在其后的生活中,我从来没有中止过这种消遣。

There is nothing more beautiful, I think, than the evanescent fleeting images and sentiments presented by a language one is just becoming familiar with--ideas that flit across the mental sky, shaped and tinted by capricious fancy. Miss Sullivan sat beside me at my lessons, spelling into my hand whatever Mr. Irons said, and looking up new words for me. I was just beginning to read Caesar's "Gallic War" when I went to my home in Alabama.

我想,没有任何事物比因一种语言而产生的倏忽即逝的影像和情感更具魅力。我只是刚开始熟悉这种语言,但是,我的思想已经穿越了精神的天空,它已经被瞬息万变的幻想重新塑造和着色。上课的时候,苏立文小姐就坐在我的身边,她会把艾恩先生说的话在我手上拼写出来,而且帮我查生词。在启程返回亚拉巴马老家时,我已经开始读恺撒写的《高卢战记》了。


舞矽

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等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XVII

第十七章


In the summer of 1894, I attended the meeting at Chautauqua of the American Association to Promote the Teaching of Speech to the Deaf. There it was arranged that I should go to the Wright-Humason School for the Deaf in New York City. I went there in October, 1894, accompanied by Miss Sullivan. This school was chosen especially for the purpose of obtaining the highest advantages in vocal culture and training in lip-reading. In addition to my work in these subjects, I studied, during the two years I was in the school, arithmetic, physical geography, French and German.

1894年夏天,我参加了美国聋哑人语言教育促进协会在肖陶扩湖举办的文化讲习班。根据安排,我应该前往纽约市的赖特休梅森聋哑人学校。在苏立文小姐的陪伴下,我于1894年10月到了那里。这是一所专门为发展高级有声文化和唇读训练而兴建的学校。除去必修的科目,在这所学校学习的两年之中,我还要学习算术、自然地理学、法语和德语课程。

Miss Reamy, my German teacher, could use the manual alphabet, and after I had acquired a small vocabulary, we talked together in German whenever we had a chance, and in a few months I could understand almost everything she said. Before the end of the first year I read "Wilhelm Tell" with the greatest delight. Indeed, I think I made more progress in German than in any of my other studies. I found French much more difficult. I studied it with Madame Olivier, a French lady who did not know the manual alphabet, and who was obliged to give her instruction orally. I could not read her lips easily; so my progress was much slower than in German. I managed, however, to read "Le M閐ecin Malgr?Lui" again. It was very amusing but I did not like it nearly so well as "Wilhelm Tell."

瑞米小姐是我的德语老师,她能用手语字母同我交流,在我掌握了少量词汇后,我们就利用每一次机会用德语谈话。几个月之后,我几乎能听懂她所说的任何事。在第一年快结束的时候,我怀着极大的兴致阅读了《威廉·退尔》。事实上,我认为我在德文学习上取得的进步要远远胜过其他学科。我发现法语相当难学。我跟随奥里维埃夫人学习法语,这位法国女士不懂手语字母,因此她只能口述授课,而读懂她的唇语实属不易,所以同德语相比,我学习法语的速度要慢得多。尽管如此,我仍设法重读了《屈打成医》,这本书确实非常有趣,但是两相比较,我更喜欢《威廉·退尔》。

My progress in lip-reading and speech was not what my teachers and I had hoped and expected it would be. It was my ambition to speak like other people, and my teachers believed that this could be accomplished; but, although we worked hard and faithfully, yet we did not quite reach our goal. I suppose we aimed too high, and disappointment was therefore inevitable. I still regarded arithmetic as a system of pitfalls. I hung about the dangerous frontier of "guess," avoiding with infinite trouble to myself and others the broad valley of reason. When I was not guessing, I was jumping at conclusions, and this fault, in addition to my dullness, aggravated my difficulties more than was right or necessary.

我在唇读和讲话方面取得的进步同老师们的授课并没有直接关系,我的动力只有一个,我希望能像其他人一样开口说话。而我的老师们也相信这个目标一定能够实现,但是,尽管我们同心协力携手向前,我们仍然没有达到理想目标。我想,或许是目标定得太高,因此失望也就在所难免了。我依然把算术当做一门充满陷阱的学科,我徘徊在竖立着“猜想”标牌的危险边境,还要避免给自己,以及身在宽阔幽谷中的人们惹一身麻烦。当我不再猜想时,我便欣然接受各种结论,而这样做的结果只能是错上加错。另外,我感官上的迟钝更加剧了我的理解困难。

But although these disappointments caused me great depression at times, I pursued my other studies with unflagging interest, especially physical geography. It was a joy to learn the secrets of nature: how--in the picturesque language of the Old Testament--the winds are made to blow from the four corners of the heavens, how the vapours ascend from the ends of the earth, how rivers are cut out among the rocks, and mountains overturned by the roots, and in what ways man may overcome many forces mightier than himself. The two years in New York were happy ones, and I look back to them with genuine pleasure.

虽然种种失望令我一度消沉沮丧,但是我对其他科目的学习兴趣依旧未减,尤其是自然地理学。了解自然界的奥秘是一种乐趣:比如风如何——就像《圣经·旧约》中所描绘的那样——自天堂的四个角落遍吹四方,水蒸气如何从大地的尽头飘升至天空,河流如何在巉岩峭壁间劈风斩浪,群山如何被大地所倾覆,人类又是以何种方式战胜比自己强大得多的自然之力的。在纽约的这两年是一段令人愉快的时光,每每想起,我都会感到由衷地开心。

I remember especially the walks we all took together every day in Central Park, the only part of the city that was congenial to me. I never lost a jot of my delight in this great park. I loved to have it described every time I entered it; for it was beautiful in all its aspects, and these aspects were so many that it was beautiful in a different way each day of the nine months I spent in New York.

我尤其记得我们每天在中央公园的集体散步,对我而言,这是这个城市唯一令我感到称心如意的所在。我从未在这个大公园里遗漏掉半点快乐。我喜欢对每一次的公园漫步进行描述,因为这里的美无处不在,我在纽约的九个月中,每天都可以感受到多姿多彩的盛景佳境。

In the spring we made excursions to various places of interest. We sailed on the Hudson River and wandered about on its green banks, of which Bryant loved to sing. I liked the simple, wild grandeur of the palisades. Among the places I visited were West Point, Tarrytown, the home of Washington Irving, where I walked through "Sleepy Hollow."

春天,我们会到各种有趣的地方旅行。我们驾船航行在哈德逊河上,徜徉在布莱恩特所吟唱的芳草依依的岸边。我喜欢河边断崖朴素雄浑的野性之美。沿河而行,我们参观了西点军校,游览了华盛顿·欧文的家乡泰瑞镇,我还在“睡谷”中走了一遭。

The teachers at the Wright-Humason School were always planning how they might give the pupils every advantage that those who hear enjoy--how they might make much of few tendencies and passive memories in the cases of the little ones--and lead them out of the cramping circumstances in which their lives were set.

赖特休梅森学校的老师们始终为学生的利益着想,他们会以学生的兴趣作为教学出发点,他们很少对年幼的学生做强行灌输,而且,他们会引领这些身患残疾的孩子走出蹇涩的生存环境。

Before I left New York, these bright days were darkened by the greatest sorrow that I have ever borne, except the death of my father. Mr. John P. Spaulding, of Boston, died in February, 1896. Only those who knew and loved him best can understand what his friendship meant to me. He, who made every one happy in a beautiful, unobtrusive way, was most kind and tender to Miss Sullivan and me. So long as we felt his loving presence and knew that he took a watchful interest in our work, fraught with so many difficulties, we could not be discouraged. His going away left a vacancy in our lives that has never been filled.

在我即将离开纽约的时候,快乐的时光已经被伤感的阴云所笼罩;除了父亲的去世,我从未承受过如此巨大的悲伤。1896年2月,波士顿的约翰·P.斯鲍尔丁先生去世了。只有那些认识他并对他最为敬重的人,才会理解我们之间的友谊是多么深厚。他以其谦逊而优雅的态度把愉悦带给身边的每一个人,他给予了我和苏立文小姐最慷慨无私的关怀。每当想到他的慈爱,我们眼前就会立刻浮现出他那关注的神情,所以,无论我们在生活学习中遇到了多么大的困难,我们都不会感到气馁无助。斯鲍尔丁先生的去世给我们的生命留下了无法弥补的巨大空白。


舞矽

ZxID:12778187


等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
举报 只看该作者 24楼  发表于: 2012-08-24 0
Chapter XVIII

第十八章


In October, 1896, I entered the Cambridge School for Young Ladies, to be prepared for Radcliffe.

1896年10月,我进入剑桥女子学院学习,这也是为迈入拉德克利夫学院做准备。

When I was a little girl, I visited Wellesley and surprised my friends by the announcement, "Some day I shall go to college--but I shall go to Harvard!" When asked why I would not go to Wellesley, I replied that there were only girls there. The thought of going to college took root in my heart and became an earnest desire, which impelled me to enter into competition for a degree with seeing and hearing girls, in the face of the strong opposition of many true and wise friends. When I left New York the idea had become a fixed purpose; and it was decided that I should go to Cambridge. This was the nearest approach I could get to Harvard and to the fulfillment of my childish declaration.

当我还是个小姑娘的时候,曾去韦尔斯利参观。当时,我的宣言令我的朋友们为之一惊:“将来我也会上大学——但是要上就上哈佛大学!”于是他们问我为什么不选择韦尔斯利学院,而我却回答说那所学院里只有女生。从那时起,上大学的念头就在我心里扎下了根,进而变为一种坚定不移的愿望。可以说,这种愿望激励着我迈入学位争夺战的行列,而我的对手是一些能看能听、耳目俱全的女孩子。当然,我也要面对身边那些明智而现实的朋友们的强烈反对。在我离开纽约的时候,上大学的想法已变成不可动摇的既定目标,因此我下定决心前往剑桥。可以说,这是为实现我上哈佛的童年宣言而选择的最接近目标的一条路。

At the Cambridge School the plan was to have Miss Sullivan attend the classes with me and interpret to me the instruction given.

根据剑桥女子学院的安排,苏立文小姐将同我一起上课并负责为我翻译授课的内容。

Of course my instructors had had no experience in teaching any but normal pupils, and my only means of conversing with them was reading their lips. My studies for the first year were English history, English literature, German, Latin, arithmetic, Latin composition and occasional themes. Until then I had never taken a course of study with the idea of preparing for college; but I had been well drilled in English by Miss Sullivan, and it soon became evident to my teachers that I needed no special instruction in this subject beyond a critical study of the books prescribed by the college. I had had, moreover, a good start in French, and received six months' instruction in Latin; but German was the subject with which I was most familiar.

当然,我的导师没有任何教授残疾学生的经验,所以,我与老师和同学们交流的唯一手段就是唇读。我第一学年学习的课程包括英国历史、英国文学、德语、拉丁文、算术、拉丁文写作和一些临时性课程。即便是那时,我也从来没有想过自己会为上大学做学业准备,但不管怎么说,在英语方面,我已经接受过苏立文小姐很好的训练。因此,我的学院老师很快就发现,对于那些指定课本,我并不需要特别的传授。此外,我在法语学习上的起点也很高,而德语更是我再熟悉不过的科目,所以,在最初的六个月当中,我用心学习的只有拉丁文。

In spite, however, of these advantages, there were serious drawbacks to my progress. Miss Sullivan could not spell out in my hand all that the books required, and it was very difficult to have textbooks embossed in time to be of use to me, although my friends in London and Philadelphia were willing to hasten the work. For a while, indeed, I had to copy my Latin in braille, so that I could recite with the other girls. My instructors soon became sufficiently familiar with my imperfect speech to answer my questions readily and correct mistakes. I could not make notes in class or write exercises; but I wrote all my compositions and translations at home on my typewriter.

尽管具备了这些优势,但是一些很严重的障碍仍对我的学业造成了影响。苏立文小姐不可能把所有指定的书籍在我手上拼写出来。尽管我在伦敦和费城的朋友们正在不遗余力地制作盲文书籍,但是,将这些课本转换成浮雕文字以解我的燃眉之急,这实在是一件极其困难的事。因此,我不得不将拉丁文誊写成布莱叶盲文,这样我就能和其他女孩一起背诵课文了。我的导师们很快就熟悉了我那不完美的语音,而且能迅速地解答我的问题并纠正我的错误。虽然我不在课堂上记笔记或者做练习,但是我会把所有的作文和(盲文)翻译用家里的打字机完成。

Each day Miss Sullivan went to the classes with me and spelled into my hand with infinite patience all that the teachers said. In study hours she had to look up new words for me and read and reread notes and books I did not have in raised print. The tedium of that work is hard to conceive. Frau Gr鰐e, my German teacher, and Mr. Gilman, the principal, were the only teachers in the school who learned the finger alphabet to give me instruction. No one realized more fully than dear Frau Gr鰐e how slow and inadequate her spelling was. Nevertheless, in the goodness of her heart she laboriously spelled out her instructions to me in special lessons twice a week, to give Miss Sullivan a little rest. But, though everybody was kind and ready to help us, there was only one hand that could turn drudgery into pleasure.

每天,苏立文小姐都会陪我走进课堂,她会以无限的耐心把老师们讲的所有内容在我手上拼写出来。其间,她还要帮我查找生词,并且一遍又一遍地为我读笔记和尚未译成盲文的书籍。这种冗长乏味的工作是常人难以想象的。我的德文老师弗劳·格鲁特女士和院长吉尔曼先生是学院里仅有的两位能用手语字母授课的老师。没有人能切实体会到可爱的弗劳·格鲁特女士的拼写是多么地缓慢和不熟练。尽管如此,她仍然不辞辛劳地一周两次为我拼读授课,而苏立文小姐也可以稍作喘息。可以说,每一个人都会对我们慷慨相助,但最终只有“一只手”能够把苦差变为乐事。

That year I finished arithmetic, reviewed my Latin grammar, and read three chapters of Caesar's "Gallic War." In German I read, partly with my fingers and partly with Miss Sullivan's assistance, Schiller's "Lied von der Glocke" and "Taucher," Heine's "Harzreise," Freytag's "Aus dem Staat Friedrichs des Grossen," Riehl's "Fluch Der Sch鰊heit," Lessing's "Minna von Barnhelm," and Goethe's "Aus meinem Leben." I took the greatest delight in these German books, especially Schiller's wonderful lyrics, the history of Frederick the Great's magnificent achievements and the account of Goethe's life. I was sorry to finish "Die Harzreise," so full of happy witticisms and charming descriptions of vine-clad hills, streams that sing and ripple in the sunshine, and wild regions, sacred to tradition and legend, the gray sisters of a long-vanished, imaginative age--descriptions such as can be given only by those to whom nature is "a feeling, a love and an appetite."

那一年,我结束了算术课程的学习,复习了拉丁文语法,还读完了三章《高卢战记》。另外,一半靠苏立文小姐的帮助,一半靠我自己的手指,我还“阅读”了一些德文著作。席勒的《钟之歌》和《潜水者》,海涅的《哈尔茨山游记》,弗赖塔格的《从弗雷德里希大帝的国度来》,里尔的《美的诅咒》,莱辛的《明娜·冯·巴尔赫姆》,以及歌德的《诗与真》。我怀着极大的兴致阅读了这些德文名著,尤其是席勒笔下的恢弘诗篇,比如他对腓特烈大帝所取得的历史成就的赞颂,以及对歌德个人生活的描述。我怀着恋恋不舍的心情读完了《哈尔茨山游记》,这部诗集可谓妙语连珠,对醉人美景的描写随处可见——紫藤覆盖的山野,阳光下水波潋滟的溪流,蛮荒之地,神圣的仪轨和传奇,尘封已久的“灰衣姊妹”,富于想象力的年纪——只有那些对大自然怀有“真挚的感情和独特鉴赏品位”的人,才能够写出如此生动的诗句。

Mr. Gilman instructed me part of the year in English literature. We read together, "As You Like It," Burke's "Speech on Conciliation with America," and Macaulay's "Life of Samuel Johnson." Mr. Gilman's broad views of history and literature and his clever explanations made my work easier and pleasanter than it could have been had I only read notes mechanically with the necessarily brief explanations given in the classes.

那年,吉尔曼先生曾教过我一段时间的英语文学。我们一起阅读《皆大欢喜》,伯克的《与美国和解的演讲》,还有麦考雷的《塞缪尔·约翰逊的一生》。吉尔曼先生广博的历史学识和文学素养,加之其巧妙的讲解方式,使我切实体会到了学习的轻松与快乐,这完全不同于我在课堂上被灌输的那些教条性知识。

Burke's speech was more instructive than any other book on a political subject that I had ever read. My mind stirred with the stirring times, and the characters round which the life of two contending nations centred seemed to move right before me. I wondered more and more, while Burke's masterly speech rolled on in mighty surges of eloquence, how it was that King George and his ministers could have turned a deaf ear to his warning prophecy of our victory and their humiliation. Then I entered into the melancholy details of the relation in which the great statesman stood to his party and to the representatives of the people. I thought how strange it was that such precious seeds of truth and wisdom should have fallen among the tares of ignorance and corruption.

伯克的演讲比我所读过的任何一本政论书籍更具有教育意义。我心潮起伏,在我面前,两个生活在共同屋檐下的敌对民族似乎在朝着和解的道路上迈进。令我越来越不解的是,面对伯克那激昂澎湃而富于雄辩的演讲,乔治国王和他手下的众臣怎么可能充耳不闻,置我们的胜利和他们的耻辱于不顾呢?对于这位大政治家所持的党派立场和人民的立场之间的关系,我在随后的研读中进行了深入的思考。我觉得,像这样一粒如此珍贵,蕴涵着真理和智慧的种子,竟然被湮没在无知和*的稗子中,这的确是一件很奇怪的事。

In a different way Macaulay's "Life of Samuel Johnson" was interesting. My heart went out to the lonely man who ate the bread of affliction in Grub Street, and yet, in the midst of toil and cruel suffering of body and soul, always had a kind word, and lent a helping hand to the poor and despised. I rejoiced over all his successes, I shut my eyes to his faults, and wondered, not that he had them, but that they had not crushed or dwarfed his soul. But in spite of Macaulay's brilliancy and his admirable faculty of making the commonplace seem fresh and picturesque, his positiveness wearied me at times, and his frequent sacrifices of truth to effect kept me in a questioning attitude very unlike the attitude of reverence in which I had listened to the Demosthenes of Great Britain.

无论从哪种角度来看,麦考雷写的《塞缪尔·约翰逊的一生》都很吸引人。这位在克鲁伯街上啃着面包的落魄男人令人同情,然而,即使在身体和灵魂遭受双重磨难的情况下,他始终保持着一种友善的言行,还向贫穷无助的人伸出援手。我为他取得的成功而欢欣鼓舞,而对他的过失则视而不见——奇怪的是,尽管重压缠身,但是种种压力并没有摧垮他的意志,那些瑕疵也无损于他的人格。麦考雷以其出色的文笔化腐朽为神奇,令生动的人物跃然纸上。他的信念偶尔也会让我感到厌倦,但是他那为探寻真理而孜孜以求的精神,使我看待事物的态度变得更加理性了;同我听到“大不列颠的狄摩西尼”雄辩演说后的敬畏之情相比,这是一种完全不同的感觉。

At the Cambridge school, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the companionship of seeing and hearing girls of my own age. I lived with several others in one of the pleasant houses connected with the school, the house where Mr. Howells used to live, and we all had the advantage of home life. I joined them in many of their games, even blind man's buff and frolics in the snow; I took long walks with them; we discussed our studies and read aloud the things that interested us. Some of the girls learned to speak to me, so that Miss Sullivan did not have to repeat their conversation.

在剑桥学习期间,我平生第一次沉浸在同学之间的友谊当中。当然,这些同学都是能看能听,和我同龄的女孩子。我和其他几个同学住在与学校相连的一幢房子里,豪厄尔斯先生曾在这里居住过,所以说,我们可能都从这所房子里得着点“仙气”。同学们的很多游戏我都参加,甚至是雪中捉迷藏;我和她们一同远足;我们还会在一起讨论功课,高声朗读我们感兴趣的文章。有些女孩学会了同我“交谈”,这样苏立文小姐就用不着为我重复她们的话了。

At Christmas, my mother and little sister spent the holidays with me, and Mr. Gilman kindly offered to let Mildred study in his school. So Mildred stayed with me in Cambridge, and for six happy months we were hardly ever apart. It makes me most happy to remember the hours we spent helping each other in study and sharing our recreation together.

那一年,我的母亲和小妹妹和我一同度过了圣诞节。其间,热心的吉尔曼先生还把米尔德莱德安排在他的学校读书。就这样,米尔德莱德和我一起待在了剑桥,差不多有六个月的时间,我们几乎形影不离。我们在一起分享快乐;我们俩互相帮助,一学就是好几个小时。那真是一段令人愉快的时光。

I took my preliminary examinations for Radcliffe from the 29th of June to the 3rd of July in 1897. The subjects I offered were Elementary and Advanced German, French, Latin, English, and Greek and Roman history, making nine hours in all. I passed in everything, and received "honours" in German and English.

1897年6月29日至7月3日,我参加了拉德克利夫学院的预科考试。我报考的科目有初级和高级德语、法语、拉丁文、英语、希腊语和古罗马史。几门考试总共用了九个小时。我不仅通过了全部考试,而且德语和英语成绩是“优等”。

Perhaps an explanation of the method that was in use when I took my examinations will not be amiss here. The student was required to pass in sixteen hours--twelve hours being called elementary and four advanced. He had to pass five hours at a time to have them counted. The examination papers were given out at nine o'clock at Harvard and brought to Radcliffe by a special messenger. Each candidate was known, not by his name, but by a number. I was No. 233, but, as I had to use a typewriter, my identity could not be concealed.

在此,将我参加考试的程序做一番介绍或许是无伤大雅之举吧。参加考试的学生应该在十六个小时内通过测试——包括十二个小时的初级考试和四个小时的高级考试。一般来说,做完这些答卷至少也要五个小时。试卷于早晨九点在哈佛启封,并且用特别邮件送到拉德克利夫。每一个应试者都被登记在册,但与其对应的不是姓名,而是一个号码。我是第233号,因为我必须要使用一台(盲文)打字机的缘故,所以我的识别号码是无法隐藏的。

It was thought advisable for me to have my examinations in a room by myself, because the noise of the typewriter might disturb the other girls. Mr. Gilman read all the papers to me by means of the manual alphabet. A man was placed on guard at the door to prevent interruption.

校方为我考虑得相当周到,我被安排在一个单独的房间考试,因为打字机的敲击声会影响到其他同学。吉尔曼先生亲自用手语拼写的方式为我读考题,为了不受打扰,房间门口还设置了一名守卫。

The first day I had German. Mr. Gilman sat beside me and read the paper through first, then sentence by sentence, while I repeated the words aloud, to make sure that I understood him perfectly. The papers were difficult, and I felt very anxious as I wrote out my answers on the typewriter. Mr. Gilman spelled to me what I had written, and I made such changes as I thought necessary, and he inserted them. I wish to say here that I have not had this advantage since in any of my examinations. At Radcliffe no one reads the papers to me after they are written, and I have no opportunity to correct errors unless I finish before the time is up. In that case I correct only such mistakes as I can recall in the few minutes allowed, and make notes of these corrections at the end of my paper. If I passed with higher credit in the preliminaries than in the finals, there are two reasons. In the finals, no one read my work over to me, and in the preliminaries I offered subjects with some of which I was in a measure familiar before my work in the Cambridge school; for at the beginning of the year I had passed examinations in English, History, French and German, which Mr. Gilman gave me from previous Harvard papers.

第一天进行的是德语考试。坐在我旁边的吉尔曼先生首先通读一遍考题,然后再一句一句分开读;与此同时,我也跟着大声重复,以表明我听清了他说的话。考题有些难度,在用打字机打出答案的同时,我的心里也感到惴惴不安。吉尔曼先生把我的答题拼给我听,如果我觉得有必要的话就做一些修改,然后他再把修改后的内容插入到答题中。我想说的是,在我以前所参加的任何一次考试当中,从来没有享受过如此待遇。在拉德克利夫,没有人会为我读试题,而且我也没有机会修改错误,除非我能提前做完答卷。也就是说,我可以利用有限的几分钟时间,根据自己的回忆修改疏漏之处,然后,再把改正后的答案写在卷子的底部。假如说我初试的成绩比复试要好的话,原因有两个,首先,复试时不会有人为我读试卷;其次,初试时的科目有相当一部分都是我在剑桥学院学过的课程,而复试就不一定了。还好,在那一年年初,我已经通过了英语、历史、法语和德语的考试,吉尔曼先生用的是哈佛以前的正规试卷。

Mr. Gilman sent my written work to the examiners with a certificate that I, candidate No. 233, had written the papers.

最后,吉尔曼先生把我的答卷送交到主考官手中,他还在试卷上附加了一纸证明:我,第233号考生,独立完成所有答题。

All the other preliminary examinations were conducted in the same manner. None of them was so difficult as the first. I remember that the day the Latin paper was brought to us, Professor Schilling came in and informed me I had passed satisfactorily in German. This encouraged me greatly, and I sped on to the end of the ordeal with a light heart and a steady hand.

所有其他科目的考试都是以这种方式进行的,不过后面的考试都不像第一门这么难。我记得在考拉丁文的那天,施灵教授来到考场告诉我说,我已经圆满地通过了德语考试。这一消息令我信心倍增,于是,我带着放松的心情完成了后面所有科目的考试。


舞矽

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6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XIX

第十九章


When I began my second year at the Gilman school, I was full of hope and determination to succeed. But during the first few weeks I was confronted with unforeseen difficulties. Mr. Gilman had agreed that that year I should study mathematics principally. I had physics, algebra, geometry, astronomy, Greek and Latin. Unfortunately, many of the books I needed had not been embossed in time for me to begin with the classes, and I lacked important apparatus for some of my studies. The classes I was in were very large, and it was impossible for the teachers to give me special instruction. Miss Sullivan was obliged to read all the books to me, and interpret for the instructors, and for the first time in eleven years it seemed as if her dear hand would not be equal to the task.

当我在吉尔曼的学校开始第二年的学习生涯时,我满怀希望,内心里充满了必胜的信心。但是在最初的几个星期里,我遇到一些意外的难题。吉尔曼先生认为我在这一年里应该以学习数学为主。当时我学习的课程有物理、代数、几何学、希腊语和拉丁文。不幸的是,我需要的许多书都没有被制成盲文,因此在有些科目上,我缺少了必要的学习工具。而且,这些科目都是很多人一起上的大课,老师不可能为我做单独辅导。苏立文小姐只得把所有的课本读给我听,还要为我翻译老师的话。十一年来,她那双神奇的手头一次流露出力不从心的迹象。

It was necessary for me to write algebra and geometry in class and solve problems in physics, and this I could not do until we bought a braille writer, by means of which I could put down the steps and processes of my work. I could not follow with my eyes the geometrical figures drawn on the blackboard, and my only means of getting a clear idea of them was to make them on a cushion with straight and curved wires, which had bent and pointed ends. I had to carry in my mind, as Mr. Keith says in his report, the lettering of the figures, the hypothesis and conclusion, the construction and the process of the proof. In a word, every study had its obstacles. Sometimes I lost all courage and betrayed my feelings in a way I am ashamed to remember, especially as the signs of my trouble were afterward used against Miss Sullivan, the only person of all the kind friends I had there, who could make the crooked straight and the rough places smooth.

对我而言,在课堂上求解物理题,进行代数和几何运算都是必须要掌握的技能。起初我无法顺利地学习这些知识,直到我们购置了一台盲文书写器。通过这台机器,我可以把自己的工作进程记录下来。我无法看到那些画在黑板上的几何图形,我获取形象认识的唯一手段,就是以一个靠垫做依托,再把几何图形用或直或弯的细铁丝拼接出来。我不得不在脑海中描摹这些图形。正如凯斯先生在他的报告中所说的那样,我不但要抓住图形的形状,还要进行假设、演算和推理论证。一言以蔽之,每一个环节都是一种障碍。有时候我感到勇气尽失,而且脾气恶劣,我的坏脾气甚至指向了苏立文小姐,而在我所有的良师益友当中,她是唯一一个能抚平我内心伤痛的人,她能够“将曲线捋直,令崎岖之地变成坦途”。

Little by little, however, my difficulties began to disappear. The embossed books and other apparatus arrived, and I threw myself into the work with renewed confidence. Algebra and geometry were the only studies that continued to defy my efforts to comprehend them. As I have said before, I had no aptitude for mathematics; the different points were not explained to me as fully as I wished. The geometrical diagrams were particularly vexing because I could not see the relation of the different parts to one another, even on the cushion. It was not until Mr. Keith taught me that I had a clear idea of mathematics.

渐渐地,我的困难开始消失了。随着凸版书籍和一些辅助用具的增添,我带着重拾的信心重新投入到学习之中。代数和几何这两门课程仍在继续同我的努力相抗衡。正如我以前说过的那样,我天生缺乏数学头脑,对不同的点面关系总是不能很好地理解。那些几何图形很是令人头痛,因为我无法看到不同图形之间的关系,即使在垫子上摆放也不行。直到凯斯先生教了我一些数学知识之后,我才踏进了几何学的门槛。

I was beginning to overcome these difficulties when an event occurred which changed everything.

正当我开始克服种种困难的时候,随后发生的一件事改变了一切。

Just before the books came, Mr. Gilman had begun to remonstrate with Miss Sullivan on the ground that I was working too hard, and in spite of my earnest protestations, he reduced the number of my recitations. At the beginning we had agreed that I should, if necessary, take five years to prepare for college, but at the end of the first year the success of my examinations showed Miss Sullivan, Miss Harbaugh (Mr. Gilman's head teacher), and one other, that I could without too much effort complete my preparation in two years more. Mr. Gilman at first agreed to this; but when my tasks had become somewhat perplexing, he insisted that I was overworked, and that I should remain at his school three years longer. I did not like his plan, for I wished to enter college with my class.

就在我需要的(盲人)专用书快要到位的时候,吉尔曼先生不顾我的严词反对,对苏立文小姐纵容我的用功过度提出了忠告,他还削减了我背诵课文的次数。起初,我们曾达成协议,如果有必要的话,我应该用五年的时间为上大学做准备。但是在第一年年终的时候,我以优良的考试成绩向苏立文小姐、哈勃小姐(吉尔曼先生聘用的院长),还有其他任何人证明,我并不需要那么漫长的准备时间,有两年时间足矣。一开始吉尔曼先生同意我的想法,但是当我在学业上遇到了稍许的困惑时,他便认定我用功过度了,并且认为我还应该在他的学校里再学三年。我不喜欢他的计划,我更愿意进入大学继续深造。

On the seventeenth of November I was not very well, and did not go to school. Although Miss Sullivan knew that my indisposition was not serious, yet Mr. Gilman, on hearing of it, declared that I was breaking down and made changes in my studies which would have rendered it impossible for me to take my final examinations with my class. In the end the difference of opinion between Mr. Gilman and Miss Sullivan resulted in my mother's withdrawing my sister Mildred and me from the Cambridge school.

11月17日早晨,我感觉身体不适,所以就没有去上课。虽然苏立文小姐知道我的小病并无大碍,但是听到消息的吉尔曼先生断言我的病情不容乐观,于是就对我的课业安排做出了调整,其结果就是我不可能随班参加期末考试了。最终,吉尔曼先生和苏立文小姐的分歧直接导致了我的母亲把我和米尔德莱德从剑桥女子学院接走。

After some delay it was arranged that I should continue my studies under a tutor, Mr. Merton S. Keith, of Cambridge. Miss Sullivan and I spent the rest of the winter with our friends, the Chamberlins in Wrentham, twenty-five miles from Boston.

经过了短暂的耽搁,学校安排我继续学习,这次我的导师是剑桥的默顿·S.凯斯先生。这一年的冬天,除了在学校学习,我和苏立文小姐的其余时间都是同我们的朋友一起度过的。我们的朋友钱伯林家住在兰瑟姆,那里距波士顿二十五英里远。

From February to July, 1898, Mr. Keith came out to Wrentham twice a week, and taught me algebra, geometry, Greek and Latin. Miss Sullivan interpreted his instruction.

1898年2月至7月,凯斯先生每周两次来到兰瑟姆,主要是教我代数、几何、希腊语和拉丁文课程。苏立文小姐为他做翻译。

In October, 1898, we returned to Boston. For eight months Mr. Keith gave me lessons five times a week, in periods of about an hour. He explained each time what I did not understand in the previous lesson, assigned new work, and took home with him the Greek exercises which I had written during the week on my typewriter, corrected them fully, and returned them to me.

1898年10月,我们返回了波士顿。在其后的八个月中,凯斯先生每周给我上五次课,每次大约一个小时。每次上课,他首先解答我上一节课不懂的难点,然后再布置新作业;同时,他把我在打字机上完成的希腊文作业带回家修改,等下次上课时再把作业退给我。

In this way my preparation for college went on without interruption. I found it much easier and pleasanter to be taught by myself than to receive instruction in class. There was no hurry, no confusion. My tutor had plenty of time to explain what I did not understand, so I got on faster and did better work than I ever did in school. I still found more difficulty in mastering problems in mathematics than I did in any other of my studies. I wish algebra and geometry had been half as easy as the languages and literature. But even mathematics Mr. Keith made interesting; he succeeded in whittling problems small enough to get through my brain. He kept my mind alert and eager, and trained it to reason clearly, and to seek conclusions calmly and logically, instead of jumping wildly into space and arriving nowhere. He was always gentle and forbearing, no matter how dull I might be, and believe me, my stupidity would often have exhausted the patience of Job.

我正是以这种方式为上大学做着准备,其间从未间断。我发现,同接受课堂灌输相比,自学的过程更加容易,也更富有乐趣。自学时不会有仓促之感,也不会造成思维混乱。我的导师有充足的时间解答我的疑问,所以,我学得又快又好,其效果远比在学校学习要好。不过,同我所学的任何其他课程相比,数学仍然是最令我感到棘手的问题。如果代数和几何能有外语和文学一半那么容易就好了,但是即使像数学这样的课程,凯斯先生也把它变得多了些趣味。他成功地将复杂问题分解至我能够理解的最小片段;他时刻令我的思维保持在活跃和求知的状态。他训练我运用理性的思维,冷静而客观地寻求事物的结论,而不应该漫无目的地误打误撞。他总是对我宽容有加,尽管我的愚蠢可能会令约伯也失去耐心,可是无论我的理解是多么地迟钝,他始终对我抱有信心。

On the 29th and 30th of June, 1899, I took my final examinations for Radcliffe College. The first day I had Elementary Greek and Advanced Latin, and the second day Geometry, Algebra and Advanced Greek.

1899年6月29日和30日,我参加了拉德克利夫学院的入学考试。第一天考的是初级希腊语和高级拉丁文,第二天是德语、代数和高级希腊语。

The college authorities did not allow Miss Sullivan to read the examination papers to me; so Mr. Eugene C. Vining, one of the instructors at the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was employed to copy the papers for me in American braille. Mr. Vining was a stranger to me, and could not communicate with me, except by writing braille. The proctor was also a stranger, and did not attempt to communicate with me in any way.

校方不允许苏立文小姐为我读试卷,所以,学校就雇来了尤金·C.维宁先生为我把试卷译成美式布莱叶盲文。维宁先生是帕金斯盲人学院的一位教师,除了写盲文,他对我就像陌生人一样,并不同我交流。而监考人也是一个陌生人,他也不打算以任何方式同我交流。

The braille worked well enough in the languages, but when it came to geometry and algebra, difficulties arose.* I was sorely perplexed, and felt discouraged wasting much precious time, especially in algebra. It is true that I was familiar with all literary braille in common use in this country--English, American, and New York Point; but the various signs and symbols in geometry and algebra in the three systems are very different, and I had used only the English braille in my algebra.

在对付语言方面,盲文可以说是绰绰有余的,但是一旦用到几何和代数上面,问题就来了。我感到既困惑又沮丧,尤其是代数,在这上面我浪费了许多宝贵时间。事实上,我对这个国家通用的所有字母盲文熟稔于心——英式、美式,以及纽约浮点式;但是面对几何和代数变化多端的符号和标记,这三种盲文体系的表现形式却是大相径庭,而在代数课中,我只使用过英式盲文。

Two days before the examinations, Mr. Vining sent me a braille copy of one of the old Harvard papers in algebra. To my dismay I found that it was in the American notation. I sat down immediately and wrote to Mr. Vining, asking him to explain the signs. I received another paper and a table of signs by return mail, and I set to work to learn the notation. But on the night before the algebra examination, while I was struggling over some very complicated examples, I could not tell the combinations of bracket, brace and radical. Both Mr. Keith and I were distressed and full of forebodings for the morrow; but we went over to the college a little before the examination began, and had Mr. Vining explain more fully the American symbols.

在考试前两天,维宁先生给我寄来了一份哈佛以前用过的代数试卷。令我感到沮丧的是,这是一份美式标注的(盲文)试卷。于是,我立刻坐下来给维宁先生写信,请他给我解释那些符号的意思。随后,我收到了另外一份试卷和一张数学符号表,就这样,我开始着手学习这些符号标注。当时正是代数考试前一天的晚上,而我还在拼命地分析那些异常复杂的标注,我还是无法知道大括号、圆括号和根号的组合排列方式。凯斯先生和我全都愁眉不展,我们对第二天的考试有了不祥的预感。好在我们在考试那天提前到了一小会儿,而且请维宁先生详细地解释了美式符号的用法。

In geometry my chief difficulty was that I had always been accustomed to read the propositions in line print, or to have them spelled into my hand; and somehow, although the propositions were right before me, I found the braille confusing, and could not fix clearly in my mind what I was reading. But when I took up algebra I had a harder time still. The signs, which I had so lately learned, and which I thought I knew, perplexed me. Besides, I could not see what I wrote on my typewriter. I had always done my work in braille or in my head. Mr. Keith had relied too much on my ability to solve problems mentally, and had not trained me to write examination papers. Consequently my work was painfully slow, and I had to read the examples over and over before I could form any idea of what I was required to do. Indeed, I am not sure now that I read all the signs correctly. I found it very hard to keep my wits about me.

在几何考试中,我还是遇到了标注不清的问题。过去我一直习惯于按照行列印刷的方式阅读命题,或者是把命题在我的手上拼写出来;可是不知怎么搞的,尽管那些命题就摆在我面前,我还是被盲文搞糊涂了,而且我无法把我读到的内容清晰地呈现在脑子里。考代数的时候,我仍然遇到了相同的问题。总之,我想困扰我的正是我刚刚学到的那些符号。此外,我也无法看到自己在打字机上写下的东西。而我以前总是用盲文和头脑进行工作学习的。凯斯先生一贯鼓励我以心智解决问题,他并没有特别训练我如何书写答卷,因此,我只能承受漫长而痛苦的考试过程。我不得不一遍又一遍地阅读示范文本,以便根据考题要求形成自己头脑中的概念。事实上,直到现在我也不敢说我把所有的符号都理解无误了。我发现随机应变实属不易。

But I do not blame any one. The administrative board of Radcliffe did not realize how difficult they were making my examinations, nor did they understand the peculiar difficulties I had to surmount. But if they unintentionally placed obstacles in my way, I have the consolation of knowing that I overcame them all.

但是我不会指责任何人。拉德克利夫学院的行政委员会并没有意识到他们的所作所为——他们不会想到他们为我设置的考试障碍有多艰巨,他们也不会理解我必须要克服怎样特殊的困难才能够完成考试。我想,如果说他们是在无意之间在我的成长之路上设置了障碍的话,那么,当我知道自己有能力将这些障碍一一攻克的时候,我依旧会感到无比宽慰。


舞矽

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等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XX

第二十章


The struggle for admission to college was ended, and I could now enter Radcliffe whenever I pleased. Before I entered college, however, it was thought best that I should study another year under Mr. Keith. It was not, therefore, until the fall of 1900 that my dream of going to college was realized.

为踏入大学校门所做的拼搏结束了,现在,只要我愿意,我随时都可以进入拉德克利夫学院。然而,在入学之前,人们认为最为稳妥的计划,就是我应该在凯斯先生门下再学一年。因此,直到1900年秋天,我才实现了上大学的梦想。

I remember my first day at Radcliffe. It was a day full of interest for me. I had looked forward to it for years. A potent force within me, stronger than the persuasion of my friends, stronger even than the pleadings of my heart, had impelled me to try my strength by the standards of those who see and hear. I knew that there were obstacles in the way; but I was eager to overcome them. I had taken to heart the words of the wise Roman who said, "To be banished from Rome is but to live outside of Rome." Debarred from the great highways of knowledge, I was compelled to make the journey across country by unfrequented roads--that was all; and I knew that in college there were many bypaths where I could touch hands with girls who were thinking, loving and struggling like me.

我仍然记得入学第一天的情景,对我而言,那真是兴味盎然的一天。我期盼这一天已经很多年了。在我心里蕴涵着一股强大的力量,它比朋友们的规劝更具有说服力,它甚至比我内心的祈求更加强烈,它驱策我竭尽全力向那些耳目功能俱全的正常人看齐。我深知行路艰难,但是我有克服一切困难的雄心。我将睿智的古罗马格言铭记于心:“虽然被逐出罗马,却依旧活在罗马城下。”我已被阻挡在知识的大道之外,那么我只能迫使自己穿越人迹罕至的乡村小路——这就是我所做的一切。我当然知道大学里面遍布着许多条这样的小路,在行进途中,我用双手触摸到的姑娘们都怀着和我一样的心理,她们勤于思考,热爱知识,而且斗志昂扬。

I began my studies with eagerness. Before me I saw a new world opening in beauty and light, and I felt within me the capacity to know all things. In the wonderland of Mind I should be as free as another. Its people, scenery, manners, joys, tragedies should be living, tangible interpreters of the real world. The lecture-halls seemed filled with the spirit of the great and the wise, and I thought the professors were the embodiment of wisdom. If I have since learned differently, I am not going to tell anybody.

我满怀激情地开始了我的大学生涯。在我面前,我看到了一个光明而美丽的新世界;内心深处,我已经做好了接纳一切知识的准备。在神奇的精神王国里,我会拥有像其他人一样的自由。这个王国的子民、风景、习俗、欢乐和悲伤也应该是鲜活而真切的。这里的讲堂挤满了伟大而睿智的灵魂,我把讲台上的教授们视做智慧的化身。

But I soon discovered that college was not quite the romantic lyceum I had imagined. Many of the dreams that had delighted my young inexperience became beautifully less and "faded into the light of common day." Gradually I began to find that there were disadvantages in going to college.

但是我很快就发现大学并非如我想象的那样浪漫。我那年幼无知的美丽梦想随即变得暗淡无光,如同平淡无奇地过日子。渐渐地,我开始感受到了上大学的种种不利因素。

The one I felt and still feel most is lack of time. I used to have time to think, to reflect, my mind and I. We would sit together of an evening and listen to the inner melodies of the spirit, which one hears only in leisure moments when the words of some loved poet touch a deep, sweet chord in the soul that until then had been silent. But in college there is no time to commune with one's thoughts. One goes to college to learn, it seems, not to think. When one enters the portals of learning, one leaves the dearest pleasures--solitude, books and imagination--outside with the whispering pines. I suppose I ought to find some comfort in the thought that I am laying up treasures for future enjoyment, but I am improvident enough to prefer present joy to hoarding riches against a rainy day.

令我感触最深的是时间不够用。过去,我习惯于利用时间来思考问题或表达观点。我们会在某个夜晚围坐在一起,倾听发自心灵的歌声,只有在悠闲恬静的时刻,你才能听到诗一般的旋律在深深地拨动着灵魂的心弦。但是在大学里,你没有时间同自己的思想谈心。你上大学就是为学习来的,似乎并不是为了思考而来的。一旦你步入学习的大门,你就要把最钟情的乐趣——独处、书籍和幻想——连同飒飒作响的松树一起留在外面。我想我应该从思想中寻找到一些慰藉,并以此作为我未来幸福的积蓄。但问题是我没有足够的资本来支取当下的快乐,因而也不可能储存对抗凄风苦雨的财富。

My studies the first year were French, German, history, English composition and English literature. In the French course I read some of the works of Corneille, Moli鑢e, Racine, Alfred de Musset and Sainte-Beuve, and in the German those of Goethe and Schiller. I reviewed rapidly the whole period of history from the fall of the Roman Empire to the eighteenth century, and in English literature studied critically Milton's poems and "Areopagitica."

我第一年主修的科目有法语、德语、历史、英文写作和英国文学。在法语读物方面,我阅读了高乃依、莫里哀、拉辛、阿尔弗莱德·德·缪塞和圣伯夫的著作。我阅读的德语作品主要来自歌德和席勒。此外,我还迅速地重温了从罗马帝国陷落到18世纪这一阶段的全部历史。在英国文学方面,我尝试用批评性的眼光研读了弥尔顿的诗歌和《论出版自由》。

I am frequently asked how I overcome the peculiar conditions under which I work in college. In the classroom I am of course practically alone. The professor is as remote as if he were speaking through a telephone. The lectures are spelled into my hand as rapidly as possible, and much of the individuality of the lecturer is lost to me in the effort to keep in the race. The words rush through my hand like hounds in pursuit of a hare which they often miss. But in this respect I do not think I am much worse off than the girls who take notes. If the mind is occupied with the mechanical process of hearing and putting words on paper at pell-mell speed, I should not think one could pay much attention to the subject under consideration or the manner in which it is presented. I cannot make notes during the lectures, because my hands are busy listening. Usually I jot down what I can remember of them when I get home. I write the exercises, daily themes, criticisms and hour-tests, the mid-year and final examinations, on my typewriter, so that the professors have no difficulty in finding out how little I know. When I began the study of Latin prosody, I devised and explained to my professor a system of signs indicating the different meters and quantities.

常有人问及我是如何克服大学学习的不便的。当然,在课堂上我的情况是独一无二的。教授的声音很微弱,他似乎正在通过一个电话来说话。授课内容会(被苏立文小姐)以尽可能快的速度拼写在我的手上,在努力跟上老师讲话速度的同时,老师本人的个性反而在我面前消失了。滔滔不绝的词语流淌过我的手心,恰如猎犬追逐行将消失的野兔。即使是在这种情形下,我也不觉得自己比用笔记录的姑娘们差到哪里。假如整个心思被机械性的听讲和手忙脚乱的记录所占据,那么你就不可能过多地留意到讲义的内涵或风格。我无法在上课时做笔记,因为我的双手正忙于“听讲”。通常我会在到家后把能记得的内容草草写下来。此外,我还要在打字机上做习题,记笔记,写评论,完成课堂测验和期中期末考试,这样教授们就不难发现我掌握的内容是多么有限。当我开始学习拉丁文音韵学时,我设法向我的导师解释了一套显示不同音节和词汇量的(盲文)系统。

I use the Hammond typewriter. I have tried many machines, and I find the Hammond is the best adapted to the peculiar needs of my work. With this machine movable type shuttles can be used, and one can have several shuttles, each with a different set of characters--Greek, French, or mathematical, according to the kind of writing one wishes to do on the typewriter. Without it, I doubt if I could go to college.

我使用一台哈蒙德牌打字机。我曾尝试过很多机型,但是我发现哈蒙德牌打字机是最符合我工作要求的机器。这种打字机具有可变动的键盘,你可以移动若干滑梭,每移动一次就会转换成不同的字体——你可以在希腊语、法语或者数学字符之间转换,总之,完全视你使用的情况而定。缺少了这种打字机,恐怕我就无法上大学了。

Very few of the books required in the various courses are printed for the blind, and I am obliged to have them spelled into my hand. Consequently I need more time to prepare my lessons than other girls. The manual part takes longer, and I have perplexities which they have not. There are days when the close attention I must give to details chafes my spirit, and the thought that I must spend hours reading a few chapters, while in the world without other girls are laughing and singing and dancing, makes me rebellious; but I soon recover my buoyancy and laugh the discontent out of my heart. For, after all, every one who wishes to gain true knowledge must climb the Hill Difficulty alone, and since there is no royal road to the summit, I must zigzag it in my own way. I slip back many times, I fall, I stand still, I run against the edge of hidden obstacles, I lose my temper and find it again and keep it better, I trudge on, I gain a little, I feel encouraged, I get more eager and climb higher and begin to see the widening horizon. Every struggle is a victory. One more effort and I reach the luminous cloud, the blue depths of the sky, the uplands of my desire. I am not always alone, however, in these struggles. Mr. William Wade and Mr. E. E. Allen, Principal of the Pennsylvania Institution for the Instruction of the Blind, get for me many of the books I need in raised print. Their thoughtfulness has been more of a help and encouragement to me than they can ever know.

在诸多课程之中,盲文版本的课本屈指可数,所以在看书时,我只得把书中内容拼写在手上。同别的同学相比,我要花更多的时间准备功课。手指阅读耗时费力,而且我还要面对别人不会遇到的困惑。每时每刻,我都要集中精力让自己的意识处于兴奋状态,我会一口气花好几个小时阅读几章内容。事实上,我生活在一个没有女孩嬉笑、歌唱和舞蹈的世界里,而这样的生活常会令我生起抗拒心理。但是没过多久,我就找回了愉快的感觉,我为心中的不满情绪感到好笑。毕竟,每一个渴望获得真才实学的人都必须要独自攀登“希尔要塞”,对我而言,那里没有直达顶峰的大道通衢,我必须以我自己的方式蜿蜒行进。我滑倒过很多次,但是我仍然会爬起来向着隐藏的重重障碍冲击。我每发一次脾气,就能更好地学会控制自己的情绪。我步履蹒跚,长途跋涉,只为了取得那一点点的收获。我备受世人的鼓励,我满怀期盼越爬越高,宽广的地平线已经浮现在我的眼前。每一次的抗争都意味着一次胜利。艰苦的努力使我触摸到了辉煌的云海,湛蓝的天空,以及愿望的高地。而且,我并不总是凭借一己之力独自奋争的。宾夕法尼亚盲人教育学院的院长威廉·韦德先生和艾伦先生为我提供了很多凸版印刷的(盲文)书籍。他们细致周到的服务给予了我莫大的帮助,他们对我的鞭策弥足珍贵,已远远超越了常人的想象。

Last year, my second year at Radcliffe, I studied English composition, the Bible as English composition, the governments of America and Europe, the Odes of Horace, and Latin comedy. The class in composition was the pleasantest. It was very lively. The lectures were always interesting, vivacious, witty; for the instructor, Mr. Charles Townsend Copeland, more than any one else I have had until this year, brings before you literature in all its original freshness and power. For one short hour you are permitted to drink in the eternal beauty of the old masters without needless interpretation or exposition. You revel in their fine thoughts. You enjoy with all your soul the sweet thunder of the Old Testament, forgetting the existence of Jahweh and Elohim; and you go home feeling that you have had "a glimpse of that perfection in which spirit and form dwell in immortal harmony; truth and beauty bearing a new growth on the ancient stem of time."

去年,也就是我在拉德克利夫学院的第二年,我主修的科目有英文写作,《圣经》文学,美国和欧洲政体,贺拉斯颂诗,及拉丁文喜剧。最有趣,课堂气氛最活跃的是写作课。查尔斯·唐森·科普兰先生的写作课总是充满了妙趣横生、诙谐而睿智的语言,就那个学期而言,我觉得他比其他任何老师教得都好。他让你领略到的是最纯粹和最具震撼力的文学。在短短一个小时中,你可以尽情赏析前辈大师们的永恒魅力,你听不到多余的解释和说明,一切都让作品本身说话。由此,你会沉醉在他们那深邃的思想之中;你会全身心地陶醉于《旧约》那黄钟大吕般的雷声之中,乃至于忽略了耶和华上帝的存在;你会带着这样一种心情回家——你已经“窥见到不朽的灵魂以一种和谐的方式常驻人间,而真善美则是同上古精神一脉相承的不二准则”。

This year is the happiest because I am studying subjects that especially interest me, economics, Elizabethan literature, Shakespeare under Professor George L. Kittredge, and the History of Philosophy under Professor Josiah Royce. Through philosophy one enters with sympathy of comprehension into the traditions of remote ages and other modes of thought, which erewhile seemed alien and without reason.

这真是令人愉快的一年,因为我所学的科目特别合我的胃口,比如经济学,伊丽莎白时期文学,还有乔治·L.吉特莱芝教授主讲的莎士比亚,约西亚·罗伊斯教授主讲的哲学史。一旦步入哲学的殿堂,你就会领略到久远年代的种种传统及其思想模式的精妙,而在不久前,这些知识在世人眼中还是陌生而不知所云的。

But college is not the universal Athens I thought it was. There one does not meet the great and the wise face to face; one does not even feel their living touch. They are there, it is true; but they seem mummified. We must extract them from the crannied wall of learning and dissect and analyze them before we can be sure that we have a Milton or an Isaiah, and not merely a clever imitation. Many scholars forget, it seems to me, that our enjoyment of the great works of literature depends more upon the depth of our sympathy than upon our understanding. The trouble is that very few of their laborious explanations stick in the memory. The mind drops them as a branch drops its overripe fruit. It is possible to know a flower, root and stem and all, and all the processes of growth, and yet to have no appreciation of the flower fresh bathed in heaven's dew. Again and again I ask impatiently, "Why concern myself with these explanations and hypotheses?" They fly hither and thither in my thought like blind birds beating the air with ineffectual wings. I do not mean to object to a thorough knowledge of the famous works we read. I object only to the interminable comments and bewildering criticisms that teach but one thing: there are as many opinions as there are men. But when a great scholar like Professor Kittredge interprets what the master said, it is "as if new sight were given the blind." He brings back Shakespeare, the poet.

不过,大学并不是万能的“雅典学园”。你不会在这里遇到伟大的灵魂,也不会与智慧面面相对,你甚至感觉不到他们手指的触摸。虽然他们是确实存在的,但是他们似乎已经变成了干枯的木乃伊。在我们确信已经拥有了弥尔顿或者以赛亚之前,我们必须要将他们从知识的缝隙中抽取出来,并对其进行细致入微的分析,而不仅仅是自作聪明的模仿。在我看来,很多学者都忘记了这样一个事实,我们因伟大文学作品而产生的共鸣,更多地是依赖于我们深切的同情心,而非我们的理解力。问题是留存在人们记忆中的文化精髓极其稀少。不妨说,精髓的传承犹如枝条上垂下的成熟果实——你能够寻觅到一朵花、一条根茎和一束枝条的生长轨迹,但是你却不会对滋润鲜花的天堂雨露心存感激。我不耐烦地反复问自己:“为什么你要在意那些个解释和臆测?”这样的念头在我的脑中飞来飞去,就像失明的鸟儿无助地在空中扑打着翅膀。当然,对于我们所读过的那些著名作品的精髓,我并没有全盘否定的意思。我所反对的只是冗长而令人困惑的评论,但有一件事是肯定的:有多少人就有多少种观点。像吉特莱芝教授这样的大学者在阐释大师作品时曾说过,大师之作“恰如赐予盲人的新视觉”。的确,他正是把莎士比亚的诗人地位复原如初的先驱,也是带给我们光明的使者。

There are, however, times when I long to sweep away half the things I am expected to learn; for the overtaxed mind cannot enjoy the treasure it has secured at the greatest cost. It is impossible, I think, to read in one day four or five different books in different languages and treating of widely different subjects, and not lose sight of the very ends for which one reads. When one reads hurriedly and nervously, having in mind written tests and examinations, one's brain becomes encumbered with a lot of choice bric-?brac for which there seems to be little use. At the present time my mind is so full of heterogeneous matter that I almost despair of ever being able to put it in order. Whenever I enter the region that was the kingdom of my mind I feel like the proverbial bull in the china shop. A thousand odds and ends of knowledge come crashing about my head like hailstones, and when I try to escape them, theme-goblins and college nixies of all sorts pursue me, until I wish--oh, may I be forgiven the wicked wish!--that I might smash the idols I came to worship.

然而,当我试图卸载掉一半的课业负担时,结果却是每每而不可得;事实上,过重的思维负担会令你无暇分享知识所蕴涵的巨大价值。在一天之内阅读四本或五本不同科目不同语种的书籍,而且又不遗漏细枝末节,这显然是不可能的事。当你带着焦虑不安的心情匆匆阅读,心里只想着各种测验和考试时,你的大脑就会变得无所适从,似乎有太多无用的小摆设堆在你面前,而如何选择就成了一个问题。当时,我的脑子里塞满了各种各样的问题,以至于无法将思路理清。无论何时,只要我一踏入意识王国的领地,我就会感到自己像一头闯进瓷器店的公牛。成千上万种零零碎碎的知识就像冰雹一样在我的脑中四处飞溅,当我试图逃离险境时,传说中的妖精和校园水鬼就会紧追不舍,直到我愿意——或者说迁就那些邪恶的意识肆虐横行!——或许,我应该把顶礼膜拜的偶像统统砸碎。

But the examinations are the chief bugbears of my college life. Although I have faced them many times and cast them down and made them bite the dust, yet they rise again and menace me with pale looks, until like Bob Acres I feel my courage oozing out at my finger ends. The days before these ordeals take place are spent in cramming your mind with mystic formulae and indigestible dates--unpalatable diets, until you wish that books and science and you were buried in the depths of the sea.

不妨说,各种各样的考试正是我大学生涯面临的首要难题。虽然我曾经面对过许多次考试,而且每次都把它们打得大败而回,但是它们总是再次反扑,并且用挑衅的表情大肆要挟。直到像鲍勃·阿克莱斯这样的人物出现以后,我才感觉到信心又渐渐回到了指端。就在这些考验降临前夕,你的脑子里面塞的全都是神秘的公式和令人难以消化的椰枣——面对味道不佳的食品,你真想把自己连同书本和科学一起葬入大海深处。

At last the dreaded hour arrives, and you are a favoured being indeed if you feel prepared, and are able at the right time to call to your standard thoughts that will aid you in that supreme effort. It happens too often that your trumpet call is unheeded. It is most perplexing and exasperating that just at the moment when you need your memory and a nice sense of discrimination, these faculties take to themselves wings and fly away. The facts you have garnered with such infinite trouble invariably fail you at a pinch.

终于,恐惧时刻降临,如果你觉得自己准备就绪,那么你实在是抢到了一个有利位置,这就是说,你能够在恰当的时间召唤到你思想的潜能,从而有助于你向更高的层次迈进。有一种情况是经常发生的——任凭你百般召唤也无人理睬。而最令人感到困惑和懊恼的是,正当你需要调动记忆和缜密的鉴别力的当口,你所有的这些能力竟然振翅高飞,离你而去了。也就是说,你已经在不知不觉间储存了如此多的问题,而这些问题总会在紧要关头将你拉下马。

"Give a brief account of Huss and his work." Huss? Who was he and what did he do? The name looks strangely familiar. You ransack your budget of historic facts much as you would hunt for a bit of silk in a rag-bag. You are sure it is somewhere in your mind near the top--you saw it there the other day when you were looking up the beginnings of the Reformation. But where is it now? You fish out all manner of odds and ends of knowledge--revolutions, schisms, massacres, systems of government; but Huss--where is he? You are amazed at all the things you know which are not on the examination paper. In desperation you seize the budget and dump everything out, and there in a corner is your man, serenely brooding on his own private thought, unconscious of the catastrophe which he has brought upon you.

“请对哈斯和他的功绩做简要说明。”哈斯是谁?他都做了些什么?这个名字看起来似曾相识。于是,在你储备的历史事件中,你上下求索,其过程好似在一个塞满碎布头的口袋中寻找一小块丝绸。你确信这个信息就在距你思维阶梯顶端不远的地方——你曾在查找“宗教改革运动”初期历史时见到过它。但是现在它究竟藏在哪里?于是,你翻出所有零零碎碎的知识储备——宗教革命,教会分裂,集体屠杀,政权体制——可是“哈斯”这个人在哪里呢?你会惊奇地发现,你所了解的那些事件并没有在试卷上表现出来。失望之余,你只得攫取知识储备,还要把你所学过的每一样东西悉数查验,终于,你要找的人就躲藏在一个角落里——他静静地沉浸在自己的思绪之中,全然没有意识到加负在他人身上的精神磨难。

Just then the proctor informs you that the time is up. With a feeling of intense disgust you kick the mass of rubbish into a corner and go home, your head full of revolutionary schemes to abolish the divine right of professors to ask questions without the consent of the questioned.

就在这时,监考官却通知你考试结束时间已到。于是,怀着满腔愤懑,你一脚把思维的残片踢到角落里;你的头脑里塞满了革命性的计划——你想废除教授们的神圣特权,为什么他们能随意提问而无须经过被提问者的同意?

It comes over me that in the last two or three pages of this chapter I have used figures which will turn the laugh against me. Ah, here they are--the mixed metaphors mocking and strutting about before me, pointing to the bull in the china shop assailed by hailstones and the bugbears with pale looks, an unanalyzed species! Let them mock on. The words describe so exactly the atmosphere of jostling, tumbling ideas I live in that I will wink at them for once, and put on a deliberate air to say that my ideas of college have changed.

在这一章的最后两三页里,我已经隐约提到了几个人物——他们一定会转过身来嘲笑我。哈,这正是他们的风格——在我面前趾高气扬,用混合了种种隐喻的言辞冷嘲热讽;他们用手指着那头因遭受冰雹袭击而闯进瓷器店的公牛,以及各种面色惨白的怪物,说这是一些未经鉴别的物种!让他们嘲笑去吧。如果用十分准确的语言来描述我的生存环境,那么,面对磕磕绊绊、四处冲撞的思想意识,我会这样说:我已经对它们视而不见,而且,我还要故作深沉地说,我已经完全转变了对大学的看法。

While my days at Radcliffe were still in the future, they were encircled with a halo of romance, which they have lost; but in the transition from romantic to actual I have learned many things I should never have known had I not tried the experiment. One of them is the precious science of patience, which teaches us that we should take our education as we would take a walk in the country, leisurely, our minds hospitably open to impressions of every sort. Such knowledge floods the soul unseen with a soundless tidal wave of deepening thought. "Knowledge is power." Rather, knowledge is happiness, because to have knowledge--broad, deep knowledge--is to know true ends from false, and lofty things from low. To know the thoughts and deeds that have marked man's progress is to feel the great heart-throbs of humanity through the centuries; and if one does not feel in these pulsations a heavenward striving, one must indeed be deaf to the harmonies of life.

我在拉德克利夫学院的学习生涯仍处在来日方长的(起步)阶段,但是浪漫的光环已然褪去。从浪漫到现实的转变过程中,我所获颇丰,可以说,如果没有实践经验,你永远也不会了解到事物的真谛。在诸多经验之中,最宝贵的就是关于“忍耐的学问”。“忍耐”教给我们这样一种求学心态——我们应该把接受教育的过程视做一次乡间散步,从容不迫之间,我们的思想就会敞开胸怀,尽情地接纳天地万物。这样求得的知识犹如一波无声的思想潮汐,将我们的灵魂悄然浸润。“知识就是力量”固然正确,但是,知识更应该是愉快的,因为要拥有知识——特别是广博、深奥的知识——就需要我们具备去芜存真、点石成金的本事。了解人类进步过程中的思想和行为,你就会触摸到几个世纪以来最伟大的人性脉搏;如果你感觉不到脉搏的律动和爬向天国的脚步,那么你一定是个对生命的和弦充耳不闻之辈。


舞矽

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6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XXI

第二十一章


I have thus far sketched the events of my life, but I have not shown how much I have depended on books not only for pleasure and for the wisdom they bring to all who read, but also for that knowledge which comes to others through their eyes and their ears. Indeed, books have meant so much more in my education than in that of others, that I shall go back to the time when I began to read.

至此,我已经把生活中所发生的事件做了简要描述,可是我并没有向人们展示我对书籍的依赖度有多么大——这不仅仅是因为书籍带给人们愉悦和智慧,而且,它还能使人们通过自身的眼睛和耳朵获得知识。事实上,在我接受教育的过程中,书籍的功效要远远大过其他求知方式,所以,我要从最初的阅读经历开始讲起。

I read my first connected story in May, 1887, when I was seven years old, and from that day to this I have devoured everything in the shape of a printed page that has come within the reach of my hungry finger tips. As I have said, I did not study regularly during the early years of my education; nor did I read according to rule.

我第一次阅读故事的时间是在1887年5月,那时我七岁。自此以后,我便如饥似渴地攫取任何印有文字的纸张,凡是在我“饥饿的指尖”所触及的范围之内,我都不会放过。但是正如我说过的那样,在我接受教育的早期阶段,我并没有进行有规律的学习,也没有依照任何原则来阅读。

At first I had only a few books in raised print--"readers" for beginners, a collection of stories for children, and a book about the earth called "Our World." I think that was all; but I read them over and over, until the words were so worn and pressed I could scarcely make them out. Sometimes Miss Sullivan read to me, spelling into my hand little stories and poems that she knew I should understand; but I preferred reading myself to being read to, because I liked to read again and again the things that pleased me.

最初,我手头只有很少几本凸版(盲文)书籍——几册启蒙读物,一本儿童故事集,还有一本有关地球知识的书,叫做《我们的世界》。我想这就是我全部的家当,尽管如此,我还是把这些书翻来覆去地读了又读,直到那些文字被磨损得几乎无法辨认。有时候,苏立文小姐会把一些我能听懂的小故事和诗歌拼写在我的手上,但是我更愿意独自沉浸在阅读的*之中,我喜欢一遍又一遍地读我喜欢的那些故事。

It was during my first visit to Boston that I really began to read in good earnest. I was permitted to spend a part of each day in the Institution library, and to wander from bookcase to bookcase, and take down whatever book my fingers lighted upon. And read I did, whether I understood one word in ten or two words on a page. The words themselves fascinated me; but I took no conscious account of what I read. My mind must, however, have been very impressionable at that period, for it retained many words and whole sentences, to the meaning of which I had not the faintest clue; and afterward, when I began to talk and write, these words and sentences would flash out quite naturally, so that my friends wondered at the richness of my vocabulary. I must have read parts of many books (in those early days I think I never read any one book through) and a great deal of poetry in this uncomprehending way, until I discovered "Little Lord Fauntleroy," which was the first book of any consequence I read understandingly.

在我第一次游览波士顿期间,我才真正开始了阅读生涯。那时,我被允许每天在学院图书馆里消磨一段时间。于是,我徘徊在一个个书架之间,也不管碰到了什么样的书,我拿起来就读。当然,也许在每一页里我只认识一两个词。可以说,令我着迷的正是那些词语本身,而书的内容反倒不在我的考虑之列。即使这样,我对知识的感知能力却十分强大,因为我的很多词汇和句式都是在那时掌握的。虽然对那些词句的含义不甚明了,但是在后来,当我开始学习说话和写字的时候,这些词句竟然自然而然地脱口而出,以至于朋友们对我丰富的词汇量大为惊讶。正是以这种不知不觉的方式,我阅读了大量的书籍(当然,在早期的阅读中,我从来没有把一本书完整地读完)和诗歌,直到我发现《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》——这是我完全读懂的第一本书——我的阅读生涯才算正式开始。

One day my teacher found me in a corner of the library poring over the pages of "The Scarlet Letter." I was then about eight years old. I remember she asked me if I liked little Pearl, and explained some of the words that had puzzled me. Then she told me that she had a beautiful story about a little boy which she was sure I should like better than "The Scarlet Letter." The name of the story was "Little Lord Fauntleroy," and she promised to read it to me the following summer. But we did not begin the story until August; the first few weeks of my stay at the seashore were so full of discoveries and excitement that I forgot the very existence of books. Then my teacher went to visit some friends in Boston, leaving me for a short time.

有一天,在图书馆的一个角落里,我的老师发现我正面对着《红字》的书页若有所思。那时我大约八岁。我记得她问我是否喜欢小珀尔,而且还向我解释了一些晦涩难懂的词句。随后,她对我说她有一本讲述一个小男孩经历的故事书,她保证那本书比《红字》有趣得多,我也一定会喜欢的。那本书的名字叫《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》,她答应接下来的夏天就读给我听。可是一直到了8月份,我们还没有开始看这本书;因为在海边的最初几个星期里,我完全沉浸在猎奇的兴奋之中,以至于忘记了看书这回事。当时我的老师要去波士顿探望一些友人,所以暂时离开了我。

When she returned almost the first thing we did was to begin the story of "Little Lord Fauntleroy." I recall distinctly the time and place when we read the first chapters of the fascinating child's story. It was a warm afternoon in August. We were sitting together in a hammock which swung from two solemn pines at a short distance from the house. We had hurried through the dish-washing after luncheon, in order that we might have as long an afternoon as possible for the story. As we hastened through the long grass toward the hammock, the grasshoppers swarmed about us and fastened themselves on our clothes, and I remember that my teacher insisted upon picking them all off before we sat down, which seemed to me an unnecessary waste of time. The hammock was covered with pine needles, for it had not been used while my teacher was away. The warm sun shone on the pine trees and drew out all their fragrance. The air was balmy, with a tang of the sea in it. Before we began the story Miss Sullivan explained to me the things that she knew I should not understand, and as we read on she explained the unfamiliar words. At first there were many words I did not know, and the reading was constantly interrupted; but as soon as I thoroughly comprehended the situation, I became too eagerly absorbed in the story to notice mere words, and I am afraid I listened impatiently to the explanations that Miss Sullivan felt to be necessary. When her fingers were too tired to spell another word, I had for the first time a keen sense of my deprivations. I took the book in my hands and tried to feel the letters with an intensity of longing that I can never forget.

当老师返回时,我们所做的第一件事就是开始阅读《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》。我清楚地记得我们读第一章时的时间和地点。那是8月里一个温暖宜人的下午,我们俩坐在一张摇摆的吊床上,这张吊床就拴在离家不远的两棵大松树之间。午餐过后,我们匆匆涮过盘子,为的是尽可能用整个下午时间看故事书。当我们快步穿过草丛奔向吊床时,受惊的蚱蜢乱飞乱撞,纷纷落在我们身上。我记得老师坚持要先把衣服上的蚱蜢摘掉,然后再坐下看书;可是在我看来,这似乎是毫无必要的浪费时间之举。吊床上面已经落满了松针,因为自老师离开后一直没有人用过这张吊床。和煦的阳光洒落在松树上,空气中弥漫着松针的芳香,同时夹杂着一股独特的海洋气息。在开始读故事之前,苏立文小姐向我解释了一些我不太理解的背景,而且,在阅读过程中,她还要随时向我讲解生词。刚开始时有很多单词我都不认识,阅读因此会常常中断;但是当我完全沉浸在故事情节之中,生词这回事就被我忽略了。对于苏立文小姐认为有必要解释的那些词语,我想我当时听得很不耐烦。后来,因过于疲劳,老师的手指再也拼写不下去了,而我却第一次产生出一种被剥夺了心爱之物的沮丧感。于是,我把书抓在手里,如饥似渴地摸索着书页,我永远也不会忘记那种急切的心情。

Afterward, at my eager request, Mr. Anagnos had this story embossed, and I read it again and again, until I almost knew it by heart; and all through my childhood "Little Lord Fauntleroy" was my sweet and gentle companion. I have given these details at the risk of being tedious, because they are in such vivid contrast with my vague, mutable and confused memories of earlier reading.

后来,在我的迫切请求下,阿纳戈诺斯先生就把这本书制作成了浮点文字。我读了一遍又一遍,几乎达到了烂熟于心的程度。可以说,《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》伴我度过了整个童年时光,而且给我留下了温馨甜蜜的回忆。我之所以冒着招人厌烦的危险提及这些陈年往事,只因为相对于我那蒙昧、善变而混乱的童年记忆而言,这本书的确可以称之为无比生动的一章。

From "Little Lord Fauntleroy" I date the beginning of my true interest in books. During the next two years I read many books at my home and on my visits to Boston. I cannot remember what they all were, or in what order I read them; but I know that among them were "Greek Heroes," La Fontaine's "Fables," Hawthorne's "Wonder Book," "Bible Stories," Lamb's "Tales from Shakespeare," "A Child's History of England" by Dickens, "The Arabian Nights," "The Swiss Family Robinson," "The Pilgrim's Progress," "Robinson Crusoe," "Little Women," and "Heidi," a beautiful little story which I afterward read in German. I read them in the intervals between study and play with an ever-deepening sense of pleasure. I did not study nor analyze them--I did not know whether they were well written or not; I never thought about style or authorship. They laid their treasures at my feet, and I accepted them as we accept the sunshine and the love of our friends. I loved "Little Women" because it gave me a sense of kinship with girls and boys who could see and hear. Circumscribed as my life was in so many ways, I had to look between the covers of books for news of the world that lay outside my own.

自从读过《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》后,我对书籍就产生了真正的兴趣。在其后的两年间,我读了很多书,这些书都是我在家里以及在游览波士顿期间读的。具体读了哪些书,或者是在何种状态下读的,我已经记不清了;不过有一些书我是不会忘的,比如《希腊英雄传》,拉封丹的《寓言》,霍桑的《奇书》、《圣经故事》,兰姆的《莎士比亚故事集》,狄更斯的《英格兰历史儿童读本》,《天方夜谭》,《瑞士人罗宾逊一家》,《天路历程》,《鲁滨孙漂流记》,《小妇人》,还有《海蒂》——这是个美丽的故事,我记得我看的是德文版本。这些书都是在边学边玩之间读完的。当然,自始至终我都怀着强烈的求知欲。当时,我并不会对我所读的书进行研究和分析,我不知道这些书写得是好是坏,我也从来没有想过它们的写作风格和作者背景。就这样,这些书把它们的“财宝”堆放在我的脚前,而我欣然接纳了书籍的馈赠,正如我接纳阳光和朋友们的友谊一样自然而然。我喜欢读《小妇人》,因为它让我意识到了自己同那些能听能看的正常孩子之间的“血缘关系”。由于我的生活受到了种种限制,因此我不得不在书籍之中寻找尚未发掘的新世界。

I did not care especially for "The Pilgrim's Progress," which I think I did not finish, or for the "Fables." I read La Fontaine's "Fables" first in an English translation, and enjoyed them only after a half-hearted fashion. Later I read the book again in French, and I found that, in spite of the vivid word-pictures, and the wonderful mastery of language, I liked it no better. I do not know why it is, but stories in which animals are made to talk and act like human beings have never appealed to me very strongly. The ludicrous caricatures of the animals occupy my mind to the exclusion of the moral.

我尤其不喜欢《天路历程》,我想我都没有读完这本书。《寓言》我也不喜欢,我最初读的拉封丹的《寓言》是英文版本,当时我只是感觉这本书还说得过去。后来我又读了法文版本,于是我发现,无论书中的文字是多么生动,故事是多么精彩,我还是不太喜欢。我不知道为什么会有这种感觉,不过书中的那些像人类一样会说话的动物从来就没有引起过我太大的兴趣。不妨说,给我留下印象的不过是一些滑稽可笑的动物,而并不是其中的道德说教。

Then, again, La Fontaine seldom, if ever, appeals to our higher moral sense. The highest chords he strikes are those of reason and self-love. Through all the fables runs the thought that man's morality springs wholly from self-love, and that if that self-love is directed and restrained by reason, happiness must follow. Now, so far as I can judge, self-love is the root of all evil; but, of course, I may be wrong, for La Fontaine had greater opportunities of observing men than I am likely ever to have. I do not object so much to the cynical and satirical fables as to those in which momentous truths are taught by monkeys and foxes.

接着说拉封丹。如果说他的作品带给了我们更高的道德感,我认为这种说法是言过其实的。事实上,其作品中最值得回味的地方就是故事的发生动机和其中蕴涵的自恋主张,所有的寓言无不传达出这样一种思想——人类的道德感完全来自于自恋,假如自恋的动机被压制,那么幸福一定会到来。而我本人的看法是,自恋是一切罪恶的根源。当然,我的判断也许是错的,毕竟,同我相比,拉封丹有着更加丰富的观察人生的经验。此外,我并不太反对寓言所具有的讽刺效果,尤其是通过猴子和狐狸的口传授做人的至理名言。

But I love "The Jungle Book" and "Wild Animals I Have Known." I feel a genuine interest in the animals themselves, because they are real animals and not caricatures of men. One sympathizes with their loves and hatreds, laughs over their comedies, and weeps over their tragedies. And if they point a moral, it is so subtle that we are not conscious of it.

比较而言,我更喜欢读《丛林故事》和《我所知道的野生动物》这类书。我对动物确实有着浓厚的兴趣,因为它们是真正的动物而非被拟人化的笑料。当然,人们更愿意把自己的喜悦、憎恨和笑声贡献给喜剧,而把哭泣留给悲剧。如果说这些作品表达出了一种道德观,那么我们也会因其过于深奥而意识不到它的存在。

My mind opened naturally and joyously to a conception of antiquity. Greece, ancient Greece, exercised a mysterious fascination over me. In my fancy the pagan gods and goddesses still walked on earth and talked face to face with men, and in my heart I secretly built shrines to those I loved best. I knew and loved the whole tribe of nymphs and heroes and demigods--no, not quite all, for the cruelty and greed of Medea and Jason were too monstrous to be forgiven, and I used to wonder why the gods permitted them to do wrong and then punished them for their wickedness. And the mystery is still unsolved. I often wonder how

我对古代的思想心仪久矣,古希腊的历史把我带入了一个神秘的境界。在我的幻想中,异教徒的神祇依旧行走在世间,而且还同人类面对面地交谈;在心里,我悄悄地为我爱戴的亲人们建造一座座圣殿。我知晓而且喜爱所有部族的女神和英雄,以及半神半人怪——不,并不能说是所有的神,对于残忍而贪婪的美狄亚和伊阿宋我就不喜欢,他们的邪恶是不可饶恕的。我一直很奇怪为什么天神会允许他们行不义之事,可最后又对他们的恶行进行惩罚。这个秘密仍未解开,我常常惊讶于——

God can dumbness keep

神是如此地缄默无语

While Sin creeps grinning through His house of Time.

当罪愆讪笑着悄悄爬过“光阴的殿堂”。

It was the Iliad that made Greece my paradise. I was familiar with the story of Troy before I read it in the original, and consequently I had little difficulty in making the Greek words surrender their treasures after I had passed the borderland of grammar. Great poetry, whether written in Greek or in English, needs no other interpreter than a responsive heart. Would that the host of those who make the great works of the poets odious by their analysis, impositions and laborious comments might learn this simple truth! It is not necessary that one should be able to define every word and give it its principal parts and its grammatical position in the sentence in order to understand and appreciate a fine poem. I know my learned professors have found greater riches in the Iliad than I shall ever find; but I am not avaricious. I am content that others should be wiser than I. But with all their wide and comprehensive knowledge, they cannot measure their enjoyment of that splendid epic, nor can I. When I read the finest passages of the Iliad, I am conscious of a soul-sense that lifts me above the narrow, cramping circumstances of my life. My physical limitations are forgotten--my world lies upward, the length and the breadth and the sweep of the heavens are mine!

可以说,正是《伊利亚特》把古希腊变成了我心目中的天堂。在没有读原著之前,我就已经熟悉了特洛伊的故事。虽然当时我已经穿越了语法的边境线,但是在迫使希腊词语交出它们的“财宝”时,我还遇到了少许的困难。伟大的诗篇,无论用希腊文还是英文写就,它需要的不是讲解员,而是一颗敏感的心。难道不正是有那么一群好事之徒,通过他们所谓的分析而令伟大的诗歌变得面目可憎吗?所以,那些强加于人和艰深晦涩的评论的炮制者,真应该好好学一学这条朴素的真理!事实上,理解和欣赏一部杰出的诗篇,并不需要你去对每一个词的作用,或者是它在句子中的语法结构进行解释。我很清楚,博学的教授们从《伊利亚特》中发掘的财富要远胜于我。我并不是个贪婪的人,我甘愿接受别人比我更聪明的现实。但是即使拥有了渊博的知识,他们却无法揣摩出恢弘史诗所蕴涵的激情。当然,我也揣摩不出来。而当我读了《伊利亚特》中最精彩的篇章以后,我才有了灵魂升华的感觉——我狭隘逼仄的生命得以释放,而身体的局限也已被我淡忘。我的世界也在上升,它浩瀚无边,横扫过重重天际!

My admiration for the Aeneid is not so great, but it is none the less real. I read it as much as possible without the help of notes or dictionary, and I always like to translate the episodes that please me especially. The word-painting of Virgil is wonderful sometimes; but his gods and men move through the scenes of passion and strife and pity and love like the graceful figures in an Elizabethan mask, whereas in the Iliad they give three leaps and go on singing. Virgil is serene and lovely like a marble Apollo in the moonlight; Homer is a beautiful, animated youth in the full sunlight with the wind in his hair.

我并不十分赞赏《埃涅阿斯纪》这部史诗,但它的真实依然令人动容。在阅读这部作品的时候,我尽量不去借助字典或注释的帮忙,而且,我总是喜欢把我特别喜欢的章节翻译出来。维吉尔的文笔有时的确精彩,但是他笔下的诸神和人类无不游走在激情、冲突、怜悯和情爱之间,就如同伊丽莎白时代化装舞会中的才子佳人。然而,《伊利亚特》中的神祇和人类则欢呼雀跃,纵情歌唱。维吉尔具有沉静而迷人的气质,如同月光之下的一尊阿波罗雕像;而荷马恰如头顶烈日、迎风而立的英武青年。

How easy it is to fly on paper wings! From "Greek Heroes" to the Iliad was no day's journey, nor was it altogether pleasant. One could have traveled round the world many times while I trudged my weary way through the labyrinthine mazes of grammars and dictionaries, or fell into those dreadful pitfalls called examinations, set by schools and colleges for the confusion of those who seek after knowledge. I suppose this sort of Pilgrim's Progress was justified by the end; but it seemed interminable to me, in spite of the pleasant surprises that met me now and then at a turn in the road.

在书卷之间展翅飞翔是多么地惬意!从《希腊英雄传》到《伊利亚特》的旅程并非一朝一夕之功,它也不会带给你双倍的快乐。当我在语法和字典的迷宫中上下求索,或者坠入考试的怪圈之中,你可能已经游历世界很多次了;而考试——我认为这是大中小学为懵懂的学子们所设置的一道检验标准。我觉得《天路历程》的结局是比较合理的,尽管在“天路”的转弯处,我偶尔也会遇到惊喜,但是在我看来,这部作品似乎过于冗长乏味了。

I began to read the Bible long before I could understand it. Now it seems strange to me that there should have been a time when my spirit was deaf to its wondrous harmonies; but I remember well a rainy Sunday morning when, having nothing else to do, I begged my cousin to read me a story out of the Bible. Although she did not think I should understand, she began to spell into my hand the story of Joseph and his brothers. Somehow it failed to interest me. The unusual language and repetition made the story seem unreal and far away in the land of Canaan, and I fell asleep and wandered off to the land of Nod, before the brothers came with the coat of many colours unto the tent of Jacob and told their wicked lie! I cannot understand why the stories of the Greeks should have been so full of charm for me, and those of the Bible so devoid of interest, unless it was that I had made the acquaintance of several Greeks in Boston and been inspired by their enthusiasm for the stories of their country; whereas I had not met a single Hebrew or Egyptian, and therefore concluded that they were nothing more than barbarians, and the stories about them were probably all made up, which hypothesis explained the repetitions and the queer names. Curiously enough, it never occurred to me to call Greek patronymics "queer."

我的灵魂竟然一度对天国的奇妙和弦无知无觉。我清楚地记得,在一个细雨霏霏的主日清晨,因为没有其他事可做,于是我央求表姐为我读一段《圣经》故事。虽然她认为我可能听不懂,但她还是把约瑟和他的兄弟们的故事拼写在我的手上。不知是什么原因,这个故事并没有引起我的兴趣。不同寻常的语言和重复的叙述手法令这个故事显得很不真实,似乎不是发生在“迦南地”。我昏昏欲睡,还没等到约瑟的兄弟们拿着彩衣到雅各的帐篷里编造谎言,我的心神就已经跑到了“瞌睡地”。我无法解释为什么那些古希腊神话会令我陶醉其中,而《圣经》故事则令我兴趣全无。我在波士顿求学期间曾结识了好几个希腊人,他们对其祖国历史传说的热爱确实令我感动。鉴于我并没有遇到过一个希伯来人或埃及人,因此我也不能妄下断言,说他们只不过是些野蛮人,或者说他们民族的故事可能都是编造的,我当然不能以这种假设来解释故事的无趣。不过说来也怪,我从来不觉得希腊神话无趣。

But how shall I speak of the glories I have since discovered in the Bible? For years I have read it with an ever-broadening sense of joy and inspiration; and I love it as I love no other book. Still there is much in the Bible against which every instinct of my being rebels, so much that I regret the necessity which has compelled me to read it through from beginning to end. I do not think that the knowledge which I have gained of its history and sources compensates me for the unpleasant details it has forced upon my attention. For my part, I wish, with Mr. Howells, that the literature of the past might be purged of all that is ugly and barbarous in it, although I should object as much as any one to having these great works weakened or falsified.

但我又该如何言说《圣经》中的智慧与荣耀呢?很多年来,我一直怀着莫大的喜悦和感动阅读《圣经》,我爱这本书胜过爱其他任何书;但是《圣经》中的很多地方都同我的本性相抵触。因此,我是带着愧疚的心情迫使自己把这本书从头到尾读完的。同它强加于我的种种不快相比,我并不认为我从书中获得的历史知识对我是一种补偿。就我本人而言,我希望能同豪厄尔斯先生一起,将古代文学中所有丑陋粗鄙的一面彻底肃清。当然,像任何人一样,我也十分反对把这些伟大的著作进行曲解或篡改。

There is something impressive, awful, in the simplicity and terrible directness of the book of Esther. Could there be anything more dramatic than the scene in which Esther stands before her wicked lord? She knows her life is in his hands; there is no one to protect her from his wrath. Yet, conquering her woman's fear, she approaches him, animated by the noblest patriotism, having but one thought: "If I perish, I perish; but if I live, my people shall live."

在极其率真而朴素的《以斯帖记》中,你会发现某种令人震撼的情节。还有什么比以斯帖面对邪恶的君王时更具戏剧性的场面呢?她知道她的生命就攥在王的手心里。没有人能保护她逃脱王的愤怒。然而,她还是克服了女人的恐惧心理,怀着视死如归的爱国主义情怀。她接近王,她的心里只有一个念头:“如果我毁灭,仅只毁灭我一人而已;但是如果我活着,我的族人就将活着。”

The story of Ruth, too--how Oriental it is! Yet how different is the life of these simple country folks from that of the Persian capital! Ruth is so loyal and gentle-hearted, we cannot help loving her, as she stands with the reapers amid the waving corn. Her beautiful, unselfish spirit shines out like a bright star in the night of a dark and cruel age. Love like Ruth's, love which can rise above conflicting creeds and deep-seated racial prejudices, is hard to find in all the world.

《路得记》也属于这样的故事——这是一个多么具有东方情调的故事啊!然而这些淳朴的乡下(犹太)人又是多么难以融入波斯人的首都!路得是如此地善良而忠诚,当她和收割者们一同站在起伏的麦田里时,我们都会禁不住对她产生喜爱之情。美丽而无私的路得如同黑暗岁月中一颗光芒四射的星辰,如果人们都怀有像路得一样的爱心,那么这种爱一定可以超越宗教教义和根深蒂固的种族偏见,继而成为普世之爱,但是你很难在世界上找到这样的爱。

The Bible gives me a deep, comforting sense that "things seen are temporal, and things unseen are eternal."

《圣经》带给我最深切而抚慰的感受,就是“眼目可见之物均属过眼云烟;眼目不可见之物实乃永恒”。

I do not remember a time since I have been capable of loving books that I have not loved Shakespeare. I cannot tell exactly when I began Lamb's "Tales from Shakespeare"; but I know that I read them at first with a child's understanding and a child's wonder. "Macbeth" seems to have impressed me most. One reading was sufficient to stamp every detail of the story upon my memory forever. For a long time the ghosts and witches pursued me even into Dreamland. I could see, absolutely see, the dagger and Lady Macbeth's little white hand--the dreadful stain was as real to me as to the grief-stricken queen.

在我喜好的书籍中当然少不了莎士比亚。我无法确切说出我是什么时候开始读兰姆的《莎士比亚故事集》的,但是我知道我最初是以一个孩童的理解力和好奇心来读莎士比亚的。《麦克白》似乎是令我印象最深的一部作品。这出悲剧的震撼力足可以让我永远记住其中的每一处故事情节。有很长一段时间,幽灵和女巫甚至追逐至我的梦乡。我能看见,实实在在地看见,匕首和麦克白夫人娇小而苍白的手——极度悲伤的王后境况堪忧,这一幕在我看来是如此地真切,仿佛历历在目。

I read "King Lear" soon after "Macbeth," and I shall never forget the feeling of horror when I came to the scene in which Gloster's eyes are put out. Anger seized me, my fingers refused to move, I sat rigid for one long moment, the blood throbbing in my temples, and all the hatred that a child can feel concentrated in my heart.

在《麦克白》之后,我读了《李尔王》。我决不会忘记格罗斯特的双眼被弄瞎时的恐怖景象。愤怒攫住了我的内心,我的手指不再移动(读取文字),我怔怔地坐了良久,血液在我的太阳穴里汩汩涌动,那一刻,我体会到了一个小孩子胸中所能积蓄的所有憎恨。

I must have made the acquaintance of Shylock and Satan about the same time, for the two characters were long associated in my mind. I remember that I was sorry for them. I felt vaguely that they could not be good even if they wished to, because no one seemed willing to help them or to give them a fair chance. Even now I cannot find it in my heart to condemn them utterly. There are moments when I feel that the Shylocks, the Judases, and even the Devil, are broken spokes in the great wheel of good which shall in due time be made whole.

回想起来,我一定是在同一个时期熟悉夏洛克和撒旦的,在我的意识里,总会把这两个人物联系在一起。我记得我当时还为他们难过了一阵子,我模模糊糊地感觉到,即使他们愿意也不可能成为好人,因为似乎没有人肯帮助他们,或者给他们一个公平的机会。直到现在,我也无法做到无条件地谴责他们的不义。曾经有那么一个瞬间,我觉得像夏洛克,犹大,乃至魔鬼之流就像一根根折断的辐条——但不管轮子被毁坏得多么厉害,承载人类历史的巨大车轮总会被及时地修复如初。

It seems strange that my first reading of Shakespeare should have left me so many unpleasant memories. The bright, gentle, fanciful plays--the ones I like best now--appear not to have impressed me at first, perhaps because they reflected the habitual sunshine and gaiety of a child's life. But "there is nothing more capricious than the memory of a child: what it will hold, and what it will lose."

我第一次读莎士比亚时就留下了那么多令人不快的回忆,这似乎显得有些奇怪。明快、柔美而充满幻想的戏剧——也就是我目前最喜欢的戏剧类型——最初并没有给我留下什么深刻的印象,这或许是因为它们所反映的不过是一个小孩子的无忧无虑的快乐生活而已。但是“没有什么东西能比一个小孩子的记忆更反复无常的了:哪些是该拥有的,哪些又是该失去的,我无从说清”。

I have since read Shakespeare's plays many times and know parts of them by heart, but I cannot tell which of them I like best. My delight in them is as varied as my moods. The little songs and the sonnets have a meaning for me as fresh and wonderful as the dramas. But, with all my love for Shakespeare, it is often weary work to read all the meanings into his lines which critics and commentators have given them. I used to try to remember their interpretations, but they discouraged and vexed me; so I made a secret compact with myself not to try any more. This compact I have only just broken in my study of Shakespeare under Professor Kittredge. I know there are many things in Shakespeare, and in the world, that I do not understand; and I am glad to see veil after veil lift gradually, revealing new realms of thought and beauty.

后来,我曾多次阅读莎士比亚戏剧,可以说对其中的部分章节熟稔于心,可是我却无法说出我最喜欢哪出戏。我对这些作品的喜爱层次是广泛的,就像我的情绪一样变化多端。在我看来,短小的民谣和十四行诗能够传达出同戏剧一样的神韵。但是另一方面,对莎士比亚的喜爱也增加了我阅读上的困难——读懂评论家和注释者们对每一行诗的阐释确实是一项十分劳累的工作。我试图记住别人的评论,但是那些(蹩脚的)评论每每令我气恼不已,所以,我悄悄地同自己签订了一份“协议”——不再看那些评论。直到接触了吉特莱芝教授开设的莎士比亚课,“协议”才被我打破。我知道,莎士比亚(戏剧)博大精深,而且,我并不了解世界范围内的莎剧研究。我很高兴看到一层层的面纱被人掀起,将一个崭新而美妙的思想王国展现在我们面前。

Next to poetry I love history. I have read every historical work that I have been able to lay my hands on, from a catalogue of dry facts and dryer dates to Green's impartial, picturesque "History of the English People"; from Freeman's "History of Europe" to Emerton's "Middle Ages." The first book that gave me any real sense of the value of history was Swinton's "World's History," which I received on my thirteenth birthday. Though I believe it is no longer considered valid, yet I have kept it ever since as one of my treasures. From it I learned how the races of men spread from land to land and built great cities, how a few great rulers, earthly Titans, put everything under their feet, and with a decisive word opened the gates of happiness for millions and closed them upon millions more: how different nations pioneered in art and knowledge and broke ground for the mightier growths of coming ages; how civilization underwent, as it were, the holocaust of a degenerate age, and rose again, like the Phoenix, among the nobler sons of the North; and how by liberty, tolerance and education the great and the wise have opened the way for the salvation of the whole world.

在我喜欢的书籍中,仅次于诗歌的就是历史。我把能用双手触摸到的每一本历史著作都读了个遍。从朴素的书页目录、记事年表到格林所著的客观公正、视角独特的《英国人民史》;从弗里曼的《欧洲历史》到艾默顿的《中世纪》。真正使我意识到历史价值的第一本书是斯温顿的《世界历史》,这本书是我十三岁时收到的生日礼物。虽然我已经不再认为这本书无懈可击,但是我仍然把它视做我(童年)的珍宝之一。正是通过这些历史书籍,我了解到了上古人类是如何分散到世界各地并建立起巨大的城市的;那些伟大的统治者,也就是人世间的“提坦”,是如何把万物置于自己的脚下,又是如何以一句决定性的话语为千百万人开启和关闭幸福之门的;不同种族的先驱们是如何在艺术和知识的领域开疆拓土,促进时代进步的;人类文明如何遭受社会堕落的浩劫,又是如何像凤凰涅槃一样重生的;人类又是如何通过自由、宽容的精神和聪明才智铺设拯救世界之路的。

In my college reading I have become somewhat familiar with French and German literature. The German puts strength before beauty, and truth before convention, both in life and in literature. There is a vehement, sledge-hammer vigour about everything that he does. When he speaks, it is not to impress others, but because his heart would burst if he did not find an outlet for the thoughts that burn in his soul.

在上大学期间,我比较熟悉的是法语和德语的文学作品。德国人总是使美好的事物凸显某种力量,使传统习俗蕴涵某种真理,这种民族性格在他们的生活和文学作品中随处可见。不妨说,在他们所做的每一件事情中,大都具有某种澎湃而个性鲜明的激情。当他们说话的时候,你并不觉得有何感人之处,这是因为,如果他们没有为灵魂深处灼热沸腾的思想寻找到一个出路,那么,他们的心就会爆裂。所以,他们不会轻易地使自己灭亡。

Then, too, there is in German literature a fine reserve which I like; but its chief glory is the recognition I find in it of the redeeming potency of woman's self-sacrificing love. This thought pervades all German literature and is mystically expressed in Goethe's "Faust":

我很喜欢德国文学作品中的丰富内涵,而最令我推崇备至的,就是作品中对于女性自我牺牲精神的昭示和不遗余力的赞颂。可以说,这种思想遍及所有的德国文学作品,而对其神秘性最为深刻的阐释当属歌德的《浮士德》:

All things transitory

万物皆短暂

But as symbols are sent.

唯其意象绵绵不绝。

Earth's insufficiency

尘世间人心不古

Here grows to event.

事端频生充满了大地。

The indescribable

乱世难以言说

Here it is done.

所行皆不义。

The Woman Soul leads us upward and on!

唯女人之性灵引领我们迈向天际!

Of all the French writers that I have read, I like Moli鑢e and Racine best. There are fine things in Balzac and passages in M閞im閑 which strike one like a keen blast of sea air. Alfred de Musset is impossible! I admire Victor Hugo--I appreciate his genius, his brilliancy, his romanticism; though he is not one of my literary passions. But Hugo and Goethe and Schiller and all great poets of all great nations are interpreters of eternal things, and my spirit reverently follows them into the regions where Beauty and Truth and Goodness are one.

在我所读过的所有法国作家的作品当中,我最喜爱莫里哀和拉辛的(戏剧)著作。而巴尔扎克的鸿篇巨制和梅里美笔下的精彩段落就像一股强劲的海风,令人的精神为之一振。阿尔弗莱德·缪塞绝不可能有这样的感召力!我很推崇维克多·雨果——我欣赏他的创作才能,他的睿智,他的浪漫主义精神。虽然他并不是激发我的文学热情的启蒙者,但是雨果、歌德和席勒,以及所有伟大民族中的所有伟大诗人,他们都是永恒价值的阐释者,而且,我的心灵就会无比虔诚地追随他们进入真、善、美的世界。

I am afraid I have written too much about my book-friends, and yet I have mentioned only the authors I love most; and from this fact one might easily suppose that my circle of friends was very limited and undemocratic, which would be a very wrong impression. I like many writers for many reasons--Carlyle for his ruggedness and scorn of shams; Wordsworth, who teaches the oneness of man and nature; I find an exquisite pleasure in the oddities and surprises of Hood, in Herrick's quaintness and the palpable scent of lily and rose in his verses; I like Whittier for his enthusiasms and moral rectitude. I knew him, and the gentle remembrance of our friendship doubles the pleasure I have in reading his poems. I love Mark Twain--who does not? The gods, too, loved him and put into his heart all manner of wisdom; then, fearing lest he should become a pessimist, they spanned his mind with a rainbow of love and faith. I like Scott for his freshness, dash and large honesty. I love all writers whose minds, like Lowell's, bubble up in the sunshine of optimism--fountains of joy and good will, with occasionally a splash of anger and here and there a healing spray of sympathy and pity.

我如此浓墨重彩地描述自己所钟爱的书籍,乃至提到了我最喜爱的一些作家,由此你也许会猜想我的阅读范围是非常有限的,我选择书籍的方式也是武断的,事实上,这是一种完全错误的猜想。我喜爱很多作家,原因多种多样——我喜欢卡莱尔是因为他恣肆无忌的文风;而华兹华斯则向我们传授了人类同自然和谐统一的真谛;我在胡德精灵古怪的诗作中发现了一种精致的快乐;而赫里克的诗篇则散发出奇特的,如同百合花和玫瑰花一般的芬芳;我喜欢惠蒂尔,因为他具有热情如火的个性和道德良知。我认识他,对友谊的美好回忆,使我更深刻地感受到了其诗歌带给我的快乐。我喜欢马克·吐温——又有谁会不喜欢他呢?连诸神也会喜欢他的,我想,诸神把所有的智慧赐给了他,接着,又唯恐他变成一个悲观主义者,所以,诸神又在他的头脑中架起一道爱与信念的彩虹。我喜欢司各特是因为其作品清新、率真而文思激昂。我热爱所有作家的思想,比如洛威尔,我感觉他的思想就像在乐观主义的阳光中汩汩涌动的喷泉——在喷涌快乐和美好意愿的同时,它偶尔也会在这里或那里溅射愤怒,或者喷洒同情和怜恤的水珠。

In a word, literature is my Utopia. Here I am not disfranchised. No barrier of the senses shuts me out from the sweet, gracious discourse of my book-friends. They talk to me without embarrassment or awkwardness. The things I have learned and the things I have been taught seem of ridiculously little importance compared with their "large loves and heavenly charities."

一言以蔽之,文学是我的“乌托邦”。在这个领域,我不会被剥夺任何权利,也不存在任何阻断我同“书籍朋友们”亲密接触的屏障。这些朋友可以毫无障碍地同我自由交谈,同他们那“宏大的爱心和神圣的施与”相比,我所了解的以及被传授的那点知识显得是那么地微不足道。


舞矽

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等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
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Chapter XXII

第二十二章


I trust that my readers have not concluded from the preceding chapter on books that reading is my only pleasure; my pleasures and amusements are many and varied.

我相信我的读者们并不会从前面的章节中得出这样的结论——阅读是我唯一的快乐。事实上,我的快乐和兴趣是广泛而多样的。

More than once in the course of my story I have referred to my love of the country and out-of-door sports. When I was quite a little girl, I learned to row and swim, and during the summer, when I am at Wrentham, Massachusetts, I almost live in my boat. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to take my friends out rowing when they visit me. Of course, I cannot guide the boat very well. Some one usually sits in the stern and manages the rudder while I row. Sometimes, however, I go rowing without the rudder. It is fun to try to steer by the scent of watergrasses and lilies, and of bushes that grow on the shore. I use oars with leather bands, which keep them in position in the oarlocks, and I know by the resistance of the water when the oars are evenly poised. In the same manner I can also tell when I am pulling against the current. I like to contend with wind and wave. What is more exhilarating than to make your staunch little boat, obedient to your will and muscle, go skimming lightly over glistening, tilting waves, and to feel the steady, imperious surge of the water!

在讲述自己故事的过程中,我不止一次地提到了我对乡间和户外运动的热爱。当我还是一个小姑娘的时候,我就学会了划船和游泳。在马萨诸塞州的兰瑟姆过暑假期间,我几乎整日住在我的船上。有朋友来访时,再没有什么能比带他们出去划船更令我快乐的事了。当然,我并不能很好地掌握行船方向。在通常情况下,当我划船的时候,就会有人坐在船尾为我掌舵。然而,有时候不靠舵手我也能划。凭借着水草和百合花,以及岸边灌木丛的气味辨别方向是十分有趣的一件事。我使用的是用皮革捆绑的船桨,这样就能把桨固定在桨架上。当船桨处于平稳状态时,我可以通过水的阻力来感知航行状态。用同样的方式,我也能说出船在什么时候正处于激流之中。我喜欢同风浪较量一番。你让忠实的小船听命于自己的意愿和力量;你让它轻轻地掠过波光潋滟的水面;你感受着或平稳,或汹涌的波浪——还有什么能比这更令人兴奋的事情呢!

I also enjoy canoeing, and I suppose you will smile when I say that I especially like it on moonlight nights. I cannot, it is true, see the moon climb up the sky behind the pines and steal softly across the heavens, making a shining path for us to follow; but I know she is there, and as I lie back among the pillows and put my hand in the water, I fancy that I feel the shimmer of her garments as she passes. Sometimes a daring little fish slips between my fingers, and often a pond-lily presses shyly against my hand. Frequently, as we emerge from the shelter of a cove or inlet, I am suddenly conscious of the spaciousness of the air about me. A luminous warmth seems to enfold me. Whether it comes from the trees which have been heated by the sun, or from the water, I can never discover. I have had the same strange sensation even in the heart of the city. I have felt it on cold, stormy days and at night. It is like the kiss of warm lips on my face.

我也喜欢划独木舟。我想,当你们听说我尤其喜欢月夜泛舟时,你们一定会莞尔相视的。坦白地讲,我无法看见月亮爬上松树的枝头,一边悄悄地在天际间穿行,一边为路人铺就发光的小径。但是,我知道她(月亮)就在那里。当我仰面躺在枕头上,并且把手放在水中时,我就幻想着触摸到了她微光闪烁的“外衣”。有时候,一条勇敢的小鱼会从我的手指间滑过,而睡莲则害羞地挤压着我的手掌。最常发生的情况是,当我们一从小河湾里划出来,我就会立刻觉察到周围开阔的空间。一团明亮的暖意似乎将我围裹其中,无论这股暖意是来自被阳光晒热的林木,还是来自水面,我都无法寻觅其踪。甚至在城市的核心地带,我也会产生这种奇怪的感觉。我已经在夜晚和暴风骤雨来临的时刻触摸到了它的气息,这就好似温暖的双唇吻在脸上的感觉。

My favourite amusement is sailing. In the summer of 1901 I visited Nova Scotia, and had opportunities such as I had not enjoyed before to make the acquaintance of the ocean. After spending a few days in Evangeline's country, about which Longfellow's beautiful poem has woven a spell of enchantment, Miss Sullivan and I went to Halifax, where we remained the greater part of the summer. The harbour was our joy, our paradise. What glorious sails we had to Bedford Basin, to McNabb's Island, to York Redoubt, and to the Northwest Arm! And at night what soothing, wondrous hours we spent in the shadow of the great, silent men-of-war. Oh, it was all so interesting, so beautiful! The memory of it is a joy forever.

我尤其喜爱的娱乐活动是坐船航行。1901年夏天的时候,我去诺瓦斯科夏游览,这使我第一次有了同海洋亲密接触的机会。在伊万杰琳的家乡——一个美得如同朗费罗笔下的诗歌般迷人的地方——盘桓几日后,我和苏立文小姐来到了哈利法克斯,我们在这里度过了几乎整个夏天。可以说,这座海港城市是我们的快乐源泉,也是我们的天堂。驾船航行在贝德福德海湾,麦克奈布斯岛,约克堡,一直到西北军(驻地)——这是一次多么伟大而光荣的航行啊!到了夜晚,我们会一连好几个小时置身在巨大战舰的阴影之下,那的确是一种惬意而奇妙的感觉。哦,周围的一切都是那么新奇而美丽!它给我留下了难以磨灭的愉快回忆。

One day we had a thrilling experience. There was a regatta in the Northwest Arm, in which the boats from the different warships were engaged. We went in a sail-boat along with many others to watch the races. Hundreds of little sail-boats swung to and fro close by, and the sea was calm. When the races were over, and we turned our faces homeward, one of the party noticed a black cloud drifting in from the sea, which grew and spread and thickened until it covered the whole sky. The wind rose, and the waves chopped angrily at unseen barriers. Our little boat confronted the gale fearlessly; with sails spread and ropes taut, she seemed to sit upon the wind. Now she swirled in the billows, now she sprang upward on a gigantic wave, only to be driven down with angry howl and hiss. Down came the mainsail. Tacking and jibbing, we wrestled with opposing winds that drove us from side to side with impetuous fury. Our hearts beat fast, and our hands trembled with excitement, not fear; for we had the hearts of vikings, and we knew that our skipper was master of the situation. He had steered through many a storm with firm hand and sea-wise eye. As they passed us, the large craft and the gunboats in the harbour saluted and the seamen shouted applause for the master of the only little sail-boat that ventured out into the storm. At last, cold, hungry and weary, we reached our pier.

有一天,我们经历了一次惊心动魄的事件。当时在“西北军驻地”正举行一次赛舟会,而参赛船只则来自不同的战舰。我们随同众人一道登上一条帆船观看比赛。上百条小艇来来回回地从我们身边穿梭而过,海面风平浪静。就在比赛结束,我们正准备回家的时候,人群里有个人发现从海上飘来了一团黑云。这团黑云迅速地扩散增厚,直到遮蔽了整个天空。此时风起云涌,海浪猛烈地击打着堤坝。我们的小船勇敢地面对狂风的袭击,它鼓起风帆,缆绳紧绷,似乎正好坐在风波浪尖之上。很快,它便在波涛中左冲右突,它猛地跃上一个巨大的浪峰,顷刻间就被愤怒的嘶吼声所吞没。随着主帆的下落,小船在浪涛中逆风而行。我们奋力地抵御着风浪的侵袭,而身体却被颠簸得东倒西歪。我们的心剧烈地跳动着,我们的手激动得连连颤抖,我们毫无畏惧。因为我们就在“维京”号的核心位置,而我们的船长则是对付风浪的行家里手,凭借着坚实的手掌和一双老练的眼睛,他曾多次驾船穿越风暴。风浪过后,港口中的大船和炮舰纷纷向我们(升旗)致敬,水手们也为这艘小帆船在风暴中的壮举而欢呼呐喊。终于,伴着寒冷、饥饿和满身的疲惫,我们回到了码头。

Last summer I spent in one of the loveliest nooks of one of the most charming villages in New England. Wrentham, Massachusetts, is associated with nearly all of my joys and sorrows. For many years Red Farm, by King Philip's Pond, the home of Mr. J. E. Chamberlin and his family, was my home. I remember with deepest gratitude the kindness of these dear friends and the happy days I spent with them. The sweet companionship of their children meant much to me. I joined in all their sports and rambles through the woods and frolics in the water. The prattle of the little ones and their pleasure in the stories I told them of elf and gnome, of hero and wily bear, are pleasant things to remember. Mr. Chamberlin initiated me into the mysteries of tree and wild-flower, until with the little ear of love I heard the flow of sap in the oak, and saw the sun glint from leaf to leaf. Thus it is that

去年夏天,我在新英格兰地区的一个最迷人最幽静的村庄里度过了一段愉快的时光。可以说,马萨诸塞州的兰瑟姆是一个几乎涵盖了我所有喜悦和悲伤的地方。很多年来,红色农庄——菲利普国王池塘边钱伯林先生和他的家人的住所,都曾是我的家。我由衷地感谢这些朋友们的仁慈和慷慨,我同他们在一起度过了最美好的时光。对我而言,同他们的子女建立起的友谊尤显珍贵。他们所有的活动我都参加,我们还在林中漫步,在水中嬉戏。我为他们讲述精灵和土地神、英雄和狡猾的黑熊的故事,同这些小孩子们谈天说地,感受着他们的快乐,这对我的确是一种令人愉快的回忆。钱伯伦先生教我辨认神秘的树种和野花,直到我的耳朵似乎听到了橡树体内树液流动的声音,我的眼睛似乎看到了树叶间闪烁的阳光。那景象如同这样的诗句——

Even as the roots, shut in the darksome earth,

根,即使被封存在暗无天日的泥土中

Share in the tree-top's joyance, and conceive

依旧会分享到树冠的喜悦,而且会想象着

Of sunshine and wide air and wing閐 things,

阳光、辽阔的天宇以及林间的飞鸟,

By sympathy of nature, so do I gave evidence of things unseen.

自然和谐有序,我亦顺应天地

It seems to me that there is in each of us a capacity to comprehend the impressions and emotions which have been experienced by mankind from the beginning. Each individual has a subconscious memory of the green earth and murmuring waters, and blindness and deafness cannot rob him of this gift from past generations. This inherited capacity is a sort of sixth sense--a soul-sense which sees, hears, feels, all in one.

在我看来,自人类出现以来,我们每一个人的内心深处就已经具备了感知种种情绪的经验。在每一个人的潜意识里,都会存留有关绿色土地和潺潺流水的记忆,即使失明和失聪,也无法剥夺祖先赐予人类的这份礼物。我们通常会将这种源自遗传的特质称之为第六感——一种集视觉、听觉、触觉于一身的“心灵的感觉”。

I have many tree friends in Wrentham. One of them, a splendid oak, is the special pride of my heart. I take all my other friends to see this king-tree. It stands on a bluff overlooking King Philip's Pond, and those who are wise in tree lore say it must have stood there eight hundred or a thousand years. There is a tradition that under this tree King Philip, the heroic Indian chief, gazed his last on earth and sky.

我在兰瑟姆有很多“大树朋友”,其中有一棵秀美的橡树可以说是令我引以为豪的伙伴。我曾带领我所有的朋友们参观过这位树王。这棵耸立在悬崖之上的大树径直俯瞰着菲利普国王池塘,那些熟谙树木知识的人一定会说,这棵树至少已有八百或者一千年的历史了。在这棵菲利普国王之树下面延续着一种传统——菲利普,这位英勇的印第安酋长,将他临终的凝望献给了大地和天空,他已经把自己的精神同自然融为一体。

I had another tree friend, gentle and more approachable than the great oak--a linden that grew in the dooryard at Red Farm. One afternoon, during a terrible thunderstorm, I felt a tremendous crash against the side of the house and knew, even before they told me, that the linden had fallen. We went out to see the hero that had withstood so many tempests, and it wrung my heart to see him prostrate who had mightily striven and was now mightily fallen.

我还有另外一位“树友”,同庄严的橡树相比,它显得相当随和而平易近人——这是一株生长在红色农庄庭院里的菩提树。在一个雷电交加的下午,我感觉房子的一边似乎受到了剧烈的碰撞,即使没有人告诉我,我也立刻猜出是菩提树被雷击倒了。于是我们都跑到院子里察看这位“英雄”到底经受了怎样的磨难,看到它奋勇抗争后又轰然倒地的景象,我不禁心如刀绞。

But I must not forget that I was going to write about last summer in particular. As soon as my examinations were over, Miss Sullivan and I hastened to this green nook, where we have a little cottage on one of the three lakes for which Wrentham is famous. Here the long, sunny days were mine, and all thoughts of work and college and the noisy city were thrust into the background. In Wrentham we caught echoes of what was happening in the world--war, alliance, social conflict. We heard of the cruel, unnecessary fighting in the far-away Pacific, and learned of the struggles going on between capital and labour. We knew that beyond the border of our Eden men were making history by the sweat of their brows when they might better make a holiday. But we little heeded these things. These things would pass away; here were lakes and woods and broad daisy-starred fields and sweet-breathed meadows, and they shall endure forever.

我决不会忘记我所要描述的那个特别的夏天。我的考试刚一结束,苏立文小姐和我就急匆匆地赶到了这个“绿色幽境”。兰瑟姆有三个很出名的湖,我们在其中的一个湖上拥有一所小房子。在这里,阳光普照的一整天都是属于我的。有关学院和课业的所有思绪,以及喧嚣聒噪的城市生活,统统地被这里的幽深美景消解殆荆虽然身在兰瑟姆,我们仍然捕捉到了世界时事的回声——战争、盟约、社会矛盾。我们听说了残酷而不必要的太平洋战事,也了解到了资本和劳工之间日趋激烈的对抗形势。我们还知道,在我们的伊甸园边界之外,人类正在挥汗如雨创造着历史,虽然他们本可以给自己放个假。但是我们很少留意到这些事情,早晚有一天,世事会像过眼云烟般在我们眼前匆匆消逝;而此处的湖泊和林木,遍布雏菊的旷野和气味清新的草地,则延续着其永恒的生命。

People who think that all sensations reach us through the eye and the ear have expressed surprise that I should notice any difference, except possibly the absence of pavements, between walking in city streets and in country roads. They forget that my whole body is alive to the conditions about me. The rumble and roar of the city smite the nerves of my face, and I feel the ceaseless tramp of an unseen multitude, and the dissonant tumult frets my spirit. The grinding of heavy wagons on hard pavements and the monotonous clangour of machinery are all the more torturing to the nerves if one's attention is not diverted by the panorama that is always present in the noisy streets to people who can see.

人们都对我的鉴别视觉和听觉范畴事物的能力备感惊讶,除了能够发现人行道的断裂缺失,我还能辨别出城市行走和乡村漫步之间的差别。人们或许忘记了,我的整个身体都在实时感受着周围的环境,城市的嘈杂和低沉的隆隆声常常会撞击着我的面部神经,我可以感觉到看不见的人群踏着永无止息的沉重脚步,刺耳的喧嚣一点点地侵蚀着宁静的心灵。沉重的车轮在坚硬的路面上隆隆碾过,机器发出乏味的铿锵声。对于那些耳目俱全,常年在城市中穿梭往来的人而言,假如不是因为骚动的街道和纷乱的景象转移了他们的注意力,我想,他们一定会被这种单调的噪音逼疯的。

In the country one sees only Nature's fair works, and one's soul is not saddened by the cruel struggle for mere existence that goes on in the crowded city. Several times I have visited the narrow, dirty streets where the poor live, and I grow hot and indignant to think that good people should be content to live in fine houses and become strong and beautiful, while others are condemned to live in hideous, sunless tenements and grow ugly, withered and cringing. The children who crowd these grimy alleys, half-clad and underfed, shrink away from your outstretched hand as if from a blow. Dear little creatures, they crouch in my heart and haunt me with a constant sense of pain. There are men and women, too, all gnarled and bent out of shape. I have felt their hard, rough hands and realized what an endless struggle their existence must be--no more than a series of scrimmages, thwarted attempts to do something. Their life seems an immense disparity between effort and opportunity. The sun and the air are God's free gifts to all we say; but are they so? In yonder city's dingy alleys the sun shines not, and the air is foul. Oh, man, how dost thou forget and obstruct thy brother man, and say, "Give us this day our daily bread," when he has none! Oh, would that men would leave the city, its splendour and its tumult and its gold, and return to wood and field and simple, honest living! Then would their children grow stately as noble trees, and their thoughts sweet and pure as wayside flowers. It is impossible not to think of all this when I return to the country after a year of work in town.

但是在乡间,你所看到的只有大自然的杰作。在拥挤不堪的城市中,你会为了起码的生存而展开残酷的竞争,而在这里,你郁郁寡欢的心境会荡然无存。我曾好几次参观过穷人聚居的狭窄、肮脏的街道。社会现实不问是非,那些居住在豪宅里的上等人当然会心满意足,他们是些强大而衣冠楚楚的人物;而那些贫民则在破败阴暗的公寓里苟且偷生。每每想到这些,我就难以抑制心中的激愤之情。小孩子们全都挤在这些污秽不堪的巷子里,他们衣不蔽体,食不果腹;在你向他们伸出双手时,他们怯懦地闪退一旁,如同被一阵风吹散。这些可爱的小生灵始终蜷伏在我的心头,把持久的痛苦加负在我的精神世界,挥之不去。穷街陋巷中也聚居着为数众多的男人和女人,他们全都因过度劳作而扭曲了身形。我已经触摸到了他们那僵硬、粗糙的双手,我也了解到了他们为生存而进行的无休止的抗争——当然,这只不过是一连串徒劳无益的混战而已。在奋斗和机遇之间,他们的生活似乎处于巨大的失衡状态。我们经常会说,阳光和空气是神赐予所有人的免费礼物,事实果真如此吗?在城市偏僻而阴暗的街巷中,阳光不见踪影,而空气也是污浊的。哦,(善良的)人啊,你们怎么能对你们的手足弟兄如此冷漠呢?当你们(祷告)说“感谢主赐予我们今日的饮食”,而你们的弟兄却一无所有!哦,假如人们真的能够远离城市,舍弃它的浮华、喧嚣和财富;假如人们能投入到森林和田野之中,过一种朴素而诚实的生活,那么,他们的子女一定会像高贵的林木一样茁壮成长,而他们的思想也会如路旁的花朵一样纯洁无瑕。在城市工作了一年之后,当我重返乡间的时候,我不可能不对我的所见所闻做出深入的思考。

What a joy it is to feel the soft, springy earth under my feet once more, to follow grassy roads that lead to ferny brooks where I can bathe my fingers in a cataract of rippling notes, or to clamber over a stone wall into green fields that tumble and roll and climb in riotous gladness!

再次感受到脚下松软、湿润的土地是多么令人高兴的事埃绿草茵茵的小路会把你领到蕨草繁茂的溪水边,在这里,我可以把我的手指浸泡在潺潺流水之中,或者,我也可以爬过一堵石墙进入草地,然后忘乎所以地翻滚跳跃!

Next to a leisurely walk I enjoy a "spin" on my tandem bicycle. It is splendid to feel the wind blowing in my face and the springy motion of my iron steed. The rapid rush through the air gives me a delicious sense of strength and buoyancy, and the exercise makes my pulses dance and my heart sing.

除了休闲散步,我最大的乐趣就是在我的双人自行车上“疾驰”。由此你可以真切地体会到风儿扑面和“铁马”行进的轻*。驾车疾驰不但带给我力量感和悬浮感的美妙享受,这项运动还令我的脉搏起舞,心儿歌唱。

Whenever it is possible, my dog accompanies me on a walk or ride or sail. I have had many dog friends--huge mastiffs, soft-eyed spaniels, wood-wise setters and honest, homely bull terriers. At present the lord of my affections is one of these bull terriers. He has a long pedigree, a crooked tail and the drollest "phiz" in dogdom. My dog friends seem to understand my limitations, and always keep close beside me when I am alone. I love their affectionate ways and the eloquent wag of their tails.

只要有可能,我的狗儿都会陪我一起散步、骑车或航行。我有很多狗儿朋友——体形硕大的獒犬,长着一对温柔大眼睛的西班牙长耳犬,顽皮聪明的塞特犬和忠诚、朴实的短毛犬。目前最为我钟爱的就是其中的一只短毛犬。他有着很纯正的血统,还长着一条弯曲的尾巴和一张狗世界中最滑稽可笑的“脸”。我的狗儿朋友们好像都明白我的行动不便,所以当我一个人的时候,他们总是时刻不离我的左右。我欣赏他们的友善忠诚,他们那不停摆动的尾巴也很招人喜爱。

When a rainy day keeps me indoors, I amuse myself after the manner of other girls. I like to knit and crochet; I read in the happy-go-lucky way I love, here and there a line; or perhaps I play a game or two of checkers or chess with a friend. I have a special board on which I play these games. The squares are cut out, so that the men stand in them firmly. The black checkers are flat and the white ones curved on top. Each checker has a hole in the middle in which a brass knob can be placed to distinguish the king from the commons. The chessmen are of two sizes, the white larger than the black, so that I have no trouble in following my opponent's maneuvers by moving my hands lightly over the board after a play. The jar made by shifting the men from one hole to another tells me when it is my turn.

每当雨天把我困在家里的时候,我就会学着其他姑娘们的样子找点有趣的事干干。我喜欢用钩针做一些女红;我会以逍遥自在的方式浏览书籍,这里看一行,那里看一行;我也可能同朋友下盘跳棋或者国际象棋。我有一个专用木板棋盘,棋盘上的方格子都被重新雕琢过,这样棋子就可以稳稳地立在上面。黑色的格子是平的,白色的格子则略微凸出;每一个格子的中心位置都有一个小孔,而其中的一个带有黄铜小圆凸的格子则代表国王的位置。棋子也有两种规格,白棋比黑棋要大一些,这样我就能用手轻轻地在棋盘上摸索,辨别对手的棋路也不会有什么困难。而移动棋子时的微弱振动则提醒我出棋的先后顺序。

If I happen to be all alone and in an idle mood, I play a game of solitaire, of which I am very fond. I use playing cards marked in the upper right-hand corner with braille symbols which indicate the value of the card.

如果碰巧遇到孤身一人且无所事事的情况,我就会兴致盎然地玩一局单人纸牌游戏。当然,在我使用的纸牌的右上角都印有盲文标记,以此可以表明纸牌的大校

If there are children around, nothing pleases me so much as to frolic with them. I find even the smallest child excellent company, and I am glad to say that children usually like me. They lead me about and show me the things they are interested in. Of course the little ones cannot spell on their fingers; but I manage to read their lips. If I do not succeed they resort to dumb show. Sometimes I make a mistake and do the wrong thing. A burst of childish laughter greets my blunder, and the pantomime begins all over again. I often tell them stories or teach them a game, and the wing閐 hours depart and leave us good and happy.

如果有小孩子在身边,那么再没有比同他们嬉戏更让我高兴的事了。我发现即便是最小的孩子,也能成为我的好伙伴,而且,我可以很荣幸地说,孩子们都喜欢和我一起玩。他们会领着我四处走动,还把他们感兴趣的东西指给我看。当然,小一点的孩子还不会用手指拼写句子,但是我可以设法读懂他们的唇语。有时候我也无法领会他们的“哑语”,难免会做出错误的举动,这时我的失误就会遭到一阵孩子气的哄堂大笑,于是用手势沟通的过程又重新开始。我通常会给他们讲故事或者教他们做游戏,几个小时就这样匆匆流逝,唯有快乐和满足留存在每个人的心中。

Museums and art stores are also sources of pleasure and inspiration. Doubtless it will seem strange to many that the hand unaided by sight can feel action, sentiment, beauty in the cold marble; and yet it is true that I derive genuine pleasure from touching great works of art. As my finger tips trace line and curve, they discover the thought and emotion which the artist has portrayed. I can feel in the faces of gods and heroes hate, courage and love, just as I can detect them in living faces I am permitted to touch. I feel in Diana's posture the grace and freedom of the forest and the spirit that tames the mountain lion and subdues the fiercest passions. My soul delights in the repose and gracious curves of the Venus; and in Barr?s bronzes the secrets of the jungle are revealed to me.

博物馆和艺术品商店是带给我快乐和灵感的另一个源泉。很多人都觉得难以理解——在冷冰冰的大理石雕像面前,不凭借视觉,单靠触摸就能“看到”它的形态、情感和艺术魅力,这可能吗?事实上,我的确从触摸伟大艺术作品的过程中获得了无上的快乐,这一点是确凿无疑的。当我的指尖摸索着起伏的线条时,它们自会发现艺术家作画时的想法和激情。我能在众神和英雄们的脸上触摸到仇恨、勇气和爱怜的表情。当然,也只有在被允许触摸的时候,我才能探查到雕像生动的面容。我在狄安娜的身姿中触摸到了优雅和权威——这位主宰森林生灵的女神有本领驯化凶猛的山狮,也能慑服最狂暴的激情。在维纳斯的优雅曲线和睡姿当中,我感受到了灵魂的喜悦;而芭利的青铜雕像则揭示了丛林的秘密。

A medallion of Homer hangs on the wall of my study, conveniently low, so that I can easily reach it and touch the beautiful, sad face with loving reverence. How well I know each line in that majestic brow--tracks of life and bitter evidences of struggle and sorrow; those sightless eyes seeking, even in the cold plaster, for the light and the blue skies of his beloved Hellas, but seeking in vain; that beautiful mouth, firm and true and tender. It is the face of a poet, and of a man acquainted with sorrow. Ah, how well I understand his deprivation--the perpetual night in which he dwelt--

我书房的墙壁上悬挂着一尊荷马的圆形浮雕,雕像挂得很低,因此我一伸手就可以触摸到荷马那张优美而悲伤的脸。雕像有着庄严的面目表情,我对脸部的每一根线条都了如指掌——生命的轨迹,挣扎的苦涩和忧伤;即使被凝固在冷冰冰的石膏中,(荷马)那双失明的眼睛仍然在探寻,只为了他所至爱的明媚阳光、碧空如洗的希腊,然而寻找是徒劳的。荷马的嘴轮廓优美,显示出坚忍、诚实而温柔的特质。这是一张诗人的脸,一张了解悲伤为何物的男人的脸。哦,我是多么理解他的失明之痛啊——与之相伴的唯有永恒的黑夜:

O dark, dark, amid the blaze of noon,

哦,黑暗,黑暗,黑暗,被正午的光辉围裹,

Irrecoverably dark, total eclipse

无可挽回的黑暗,遮天蔽日

Without all hope of day!

将人间的所有希望摒弃!

In imagination I can hear Homer singing, as with unsteady, hesitating steps he gropes his way from camp to camp--singing of life, of love, of war, of the splendid achievements of a noble race. It was a wonderful, glorious song, and it won the blind poet an immortal crown, the admiration of all ages.

在想象当中,我能听到荷马的歌唱,他拖着蹒跚而踌躇的脚步在营地间逡巡——为生命,爱情,战争和一个高尚民族取得的丰功伟绩而吟唱。这是一首无比绚丽而辉煌的颂歌,它为盲诗人赢得了一顶不朽的王冠,也赢得了世人的景仰赞颂。

I sometimes wonder if the hand is not more sensitive to the beauties of sculpture than the eye. I should think the wonderful rhythmical flow of lines and curves could be more subtly felt than seen. Be this as it may, I know that I can feel the heart-throbs of the ancient Greeks in their marble gods and goddesses.

我有时也想知道,在感知雕塑品的艺术魅力方面,手是否真的比不上眼睛的敏锐。我个人认为,相对于视觉而言,手更能够觉察到雕塑线条的韵律感和其内在的微妙变化。总之,在一尊尊古希腊众神的大理石雕像面前,我能够以自己的独特方式触摸到他们的心跳。

Another pleasure, which comes more rarely than the others, is going to the theatre. I enjoy having a play described to me while it is being acted on the stage far more than reading it, because then it seems as if I were living in the midst of stirring events. It has been my privilege to meet a few great actors and actresses who have the power of so bewitching you that you forget time and place and live again in the romantic past. I have been permitted to touch the face and costume of Miss Ellen Terry as she impersonated our ideal of a queen; and there was about her that divinity that hedges sublimest woe. Beside her stood Sir Henry Irving, wearing the symbols of kingship; and there was majesty of intellect in his every gesture and attitude and the royalty that subdues and overcomes in every line of his sensitive face. In the king's face, which he wore as a mask, there was a remoteness and inaccessibility of grief which I shall never forget.

我的另一个很特别的爱好就是去剧院看戏。大幕拉开,戏剧在舞台上展开——真实剧情带给我的享受远非阅读剧本所能企及,因为动荡起伏的故事情节会让你产生身临其境的感觉。而且,我还享受到了自由会见那几个杰出男女演员的特别待遇,他们的表演具有一种强大的魔力,它可以令你忘却时间和空间的限制,而重新生活在过去的浪漫年代。当艾伦·泰莉小姐扮好人们理想中的王后时,我被允许触摸她的脸和身上的装束。我能感受到她赋予了角色一种庄严的神圣感,以及抑制无尽悲伤的高贵气质。站在她身边的是亨利·欧文爵士,他穿着象征王权的袍服,举手投足之间,无不流露出君王的雄才大略;而含而不露的王家威仪则铭刻在他脸部的每一个纹路上。在国王的脸上,我似乎摸到了一副面具,那种冷漠而难以解读的忧伤令人终身难忘。

I also know Mr. Jefferson. I am proud to count him among my friends. I go to see him whenever I happen to be where he is acting. The first time I saw him act was while at school in New York. He played "Rip Van Winkle." I had often read the story, but I had never felt the charm of Rip's slow, quaint, kind ways as I did in the play. Mr. Jefferson's beautiful, pathetic representation quite carried me away with delight. I have a picture of old Rip in my fingers which they will never lose. After the play Miss Sullivan took me to see him behind the scenes, and I felt of his curious garb and his flowing hair and beard. Mr. Jefferson let me touch his face so that I could imagine how he looked on waking from that strange sleep of twenty years, and he showed me how poor old Rip staggered to his feet.

我还认识了杰弗逊先生,我以结交他这样的朋友为荣。无论什么时候,我去看他的时候他都有演出。我第一次看他的表演是在纽约上学的时候,当时他正在演出《里普·梵·温克尔》。我曾经读过这个故事,可是我从来不觉得里普那慢条斯理、奇特而友善的行为方式有什么过人之处。而杰弗逊先生那优美动人,极具悲剧意味的表演一下子就抓住了我的心。我的手指上“保留着”一幅“老里普”的画像,我永远也不会失去它。演出过后,苏立文小姐带我来到后台,我触摸到了里普那奇特的装束,他飘拂的头发和脸上的胡须。杰弗逊先生让我摸他的脸,这样我就能想象出在他沉睡了二十年之后一朝复苏的样子;而且,他还向我演示了可怜的老里普是如何步履蹒跚地走路的。

I have also seen him in "The Rivals." Once while I was calling on him in Boston he acted the most striking parts of "The Rivals" for me. The reception-room where we sat served for a stage. He and his son seated themselves at the big table, and Bob Acres wrote his challenge. I followed all his movements with my hands, and caught the drollery of his blunders and gestures in a way that would have been impossible had it all been spelled to me. Then they rose to fight the duel, and I followed the swift thrusts and parries of the swords and the waverings of poor Bob as his courage oozed out at his finger ends. Then the great actor gave his coat a hitch and his mouth a twitch, and in an instance I was in the village of Falling Water and felt Schneider's shaggy head against my knee. Mr. Jefferson recited the best dialogues of "Rip Van Winkle," in which the tear came close upon the smile. He asked me to indicate as far as I could the gestures and action that should go with the lines. Of course, I have no sense whatever of dramatic action, and could make only random guesses; but with masterful art he suited the action to the word. The sigh of Rip as he murmurs, "Is a man so soon forgotten when he is gone?" the dismay with which he searches for dog and gun after his long sleep, and his comical irresolution over signing the contract with Derrick--all these seem to be right out of life itself; that is, the ideal life, where things happen as we think they should.

我还在《对手》中看到过他的表演。记得有一次我曾在波士顿拜访过他,而他特别为我表演了《对手》中最精彩的情节。我们见面的会客厅被当做一个临时舞台,他和他的儿子一起坐在一张大桌子旁边,而鲍勃·埃克斯则书写着他的战表。我用双手追随着他的每一次移动,捕捉着他滑稽可笑的肢体语言——在某种程度上,这种“语言”是无法通过拼写的方式传情达意的。终于,他们进行了最后的决斗。我感觉到了双剑击刺闪避时的锋芒,还有鲍勃摇摇晃晃的身形;可怜的鲍勃勇气渐失,他的斗志已经在指端消解殆荆接着,这位伟大的演员猛地拉下自己的战袍,双唇止不住地抽搐。转瞬之间,我就置身在瀑布村,而且触摸到了施奈德那毛发蓬松的头正抵着我的膝盖。杰弗逊先生背诵了《里普·梵·温克尔》中的精彩对白,这是一段笑中含泪的感人情节。他还详尽地向我介绍了手势和形体应该步调一致的舞台表演经验。当然,无论是多么生动的表演,我全都一无所知,我所能做的只是胡乱猜想而已。但是,他精湛的艺术功力使他赋予表演以生命力,正如他所沉吟的里普的慨叹:“死去的人儿怎么这么快就被人遗忘?”在经历了长眠之后,他怀着失魂落魄的心情寻找他的狗和猎熗,而且,他犹豫不决地同德里克签订合约的举动也十分可笑——所有这些似乎都脱离了生活本身的意义。换句话说,理想的生活状态,应该是依照我们所认定的方式而发生的。

I remember well the first time I went to the theatre. It was twelve years ago. Elsie Leslie, the little actress, was in Boston, and Miss Sullivan took me to see her in "The Prince and the Pauper." I shall never forget the ripple of alternating joy and woe that ran through that beautiful little play, or the wonderful child who acted it. After the play I was permitted to go behind the scenes and meet her in her royal costume. It would have been hard to find a lovelier or more lovable child than Elsie, as she stood with a cloud of golden hair floating over her shoulders, smiling brightly, showing no signs of shyness or fatigue, though she had been playing to an immense audience. I was only just learning to speak, and had previously repeated her name until I could say it perfectly. Imagine my delight when she understood the few words I spoke to her and without hesitation stretched her hand to greet me.

我十分清楚地记得我第一次到剧院看戏时的情景,那是十二年以前的事了。艾尔希·莱斯利,就是那位儿童演员,她当时也在波士顿,她和苏立文小姐带我去看她在《王子与乞丐》中的演出。我永远也不会忘记这出感人的小话剧,尤其是悲喜交加的剧情和儿童演员的精彩表演。演出结束后,我被允许到后台见识一下她的王家装束。我得说,你很难找到一个像莱斯利这么惹人喜爱的小孩了,尤其是当她面带微笑,顶着一头如云般飘逸垂肩的金发默默伫立时,你更感到妙不可言。她丝毫没有流露出胆怯或者疲惫的迹象,尽管她所面对的是台下的一大群观众。那时我只是刚开始学习讲话,于是我预先把“莱斯利”的名字重复了一遍又一遍,直到我能通顺自如地说出口。想象一下,当她听懂了我对她说的几个词语,并且毫不犹豫地伸出手来向我问候时,这该是多么令人高兴的事埃

Is it not true, then, that my life with all its limitations touches at many points the life of the World Beautiful? Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

因此,难道不可以这样说——我的生命正是带着它所有的局限性,从许多角度来感受世间万物之美的吗?每一种事物都有它的神奇之处,即使像黑暗和寂静这样的事也不例外。而且,我已经领悟到了生活的真谛,所以无论身处何境,我都会欣然面对。

Sometimes, it is true, a sense of isolation enfolds me like a cold mist as I sit alone and wait at life's shut gate. Beyond there is light, and music, and sweet companionship; but I may not enter. Fate, silent, pitiless, bars the way. Fain would I question his imperious decree, for my heart is still undisciplined and passionate; but my tongue will not utter the bitter, futile words that rise to my lips, and they fall back into my heart like unshed tears. Silence sits immense upon my soul. Then comes hope with a smile and whispers, "There is joy in self-forgetfulness." So I try to make the light in others' eyes my sun, the music in others' ears my symphony, the smile on others' lips my happiness.

有时候,一种与世隔绝的无助感也会将我裹挟,如同将我抛进一股寒冷的雾霭当中,我孤独地坐在那道关闭的生命之门面前苦苦等待。门的那一边有光明,有乐音,有甜蜜的友情;但是我却无法进入。苦难、沉寂、冷酷的命运之手将我挡在门外。于是,我不得不对它(命运)那专横的天条质疑,因为我仍有一颗恣肆昂扬而充满激情的心。但是,我的舌头将不会发出苦难的声音。当徒劳的话语到达嘴边的时候,它们就会像尚未流出的眼泪一样再次退却到我的心房,无边的寂静压在我的心头。这时希望就会微笑着窃窃私语:“喜悦存在于忘我之中。”于是,我努力把我心中的太阳照耀进别人的眼中,把我心中的交响乐在别人的耳中奏响,把我的快乐镌刻在别人的脸庞上。


舞矽

ZxID:12778187


等级: 派派版主
6.3上任 7.1生日 7.26周年 8.13结婚周年
举报 只看该作者 29楼  发表于: 2012-08-24 0
Chapter XXIII

第二十三章


Would that I could enrich this sketch with the names of all those who have ministered to my happiness! Some of them would be found written in our literature and dear to the hearts of many, while others would be wholly unknown to most of my readers. But their influence, though it escapes fame, shall live immortal in the lives that have been sweetened and ennobled by it. Those are red-letter days in our lives when we meet people who thrill us like a fine poem, people whose handshake is brimful of unspoken sympathy, and whose sweet, rich natures impart to our eager, impatient spirits a wonderful restfulness which, in its essence, is divine. The perplexities, irritations and worries that have absorbed us pass like unpleasant dreams, and we wake to see with new eyes and hear with new ears the beauty and harmony of God's real world. The solemn nothings that fill our everyday life blossom suddenly into bright possibilities. In a word, while such friends are near us we feel that all is well. Perhaps we never saw them before, and they may never cross our life's path again; but the influence of their calm, mellow natures is a libation poured upon our discontent, and we feel its healing touch, as the ocean feels the mountain stream freshening its brine.

我所以不惜笔墨地提到很多人的名字,是因为他们曾带给我无尽的快乐!其中一些人已经被记载在文献中,并且成为世人瞩目的焦点。还有一些人则完全不为我的读者所知,虽然他们默默无闻,但是他们积极而崇高的生活态度对我的影响是永恒的。当我们遇到像一首绝妙诗歌一样令我们怦然心动的人时,那一刻就是我们生命中的节日。同这些人握手时,你能感觉到他们的手掌充满了无言的同情;对于饥渴而烦躁的心灵而言,他们那美好而富足的情怀带给我们奇妙的宁静感,而这种宁静的本质,就是神圣。种种的困惑、恼怒和忧虑就像令人讨厌的梦境一样占据了我们过去的生活,当我们再次醒来时,我们会用全新的眼睛和耳朵来感受世间的美丽与和谐,来感受神所创造的真实世界的伟大。我们的日常生活蓦然间变得一片光明,带来这种奇效的唯有“神圣”,而非他物。一言以蔽之,有这类朋友相伴在左右,我们就会感到无比充实。也许我们以前从来没有见过他们,而且萍水相逢过后,他们可能再也不会同我们相遇,但是,他们那沉静而成熟的气质一定会对我产生深远影响,我们所有的不快都会随着他们敬拜天地的杯中酒一饮而尽;我们会感受到它疗伤时的轻柔触摸,正如大海能感受到咸涩的苦水正在被融入的河流所冲淡。

I have often been asked, "Do not people bore you?" I do not understand quite what that means. I suppose the calls of the stupid and curious, especially of newspaper reporters, are always inopportune. I also dislike people who try to talk down to my understanding. They are like people who when walking with you try to shorten their steps to suit yours; the hypocrisy in both cases is equally exasperating.

我经常被人问及这样的问题:“难道人们不会令你心烦吗?”我实在不明白这是什么意思。我猜想这种愚蠢而怪异的声音可能来自新闻记者的报道。当然,这类报道往往是不合时宜的。我也不喜欢那些对我的理解力品头论足的人,他们在和你一起走路时,总是试图缩短他们自己的步幅,只为了迎合你行走的速度。事实上,这两类虚伪的人同样令人无法容忍。

The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of some hands is an impertinence. I have met people so empty of joy, that when I clasped their frosty finger tips, it seemed as if I were shaking hands with a northeast storm. Others there are whose hands have sunbeams in them, so that their grasp warms my heart. It may be only the clinging touch of a child's hand; but there is as much potential sunshine in it for me as there is in a loving glance for others. A hearty handshake or a friendly letter gives me genuine pleasure.

我所接触的那一双双手虽然默默无语,但是它们却对我有着非比寻常的意义。其中,有一些手的触摸是傲慢而无礼的。我曾遇到过一些相当缺少快乐的人,当我紧紧握住他们那冷若冰霜的指尖时,我的感觉就好像正在同一场来自东北的暴风雪握手。而另外有一些人,他们的双手似乎存有阳光的余温,所以,同他们握手可以温暖我的心。也许只有小孩子的手才会抓住你不放,因为他们对你有一种强烈的信任感;我可以感觉到,他们(小孩子)的手中为我储藏了大量的阳光,正如他们为别人预备了充满爱意的眼神一样。总之,一次热情的握手,或者一封表达友情的书信,都会带给我最真切的快乐。

I have many far-off friends whom I have never seen. Indeed they are so many that I have often been unable to reply to their letters; but I wish to say here that I am always grateful for their kind words, however insufficiently I acknowledge them.

我有许多相隔万里而从未谋面的朋友。他们为数众多,乃至于我无法一一回答他们的来信,但是我愿意在此重申,对于他们那情真意切的话语,我始终心存感激,虽然我对他们知之甚少。

I count it one of the sweetest privileges of my life to have known and conversed with many men of genius. Only those who knew Bishop Brooks can appreciate the joy his friendship was to those who possessed it. As a child I loved to sit on his knee and clasp his great hand with one of mine, while Miss Sullivan spelled into the other his beautiful words about God and the spiritual world. I heard him with a child's wonder and delight. My spirit could not reach up to his, but he gave me a real sense of joy in life, and I never left him without carrying away a fine thought that grew in beauty and depth of meaning as I grew. Once, when I was puzzled to know why there were so many religions, he said: "There is one universal religion, Helen--the religion of love. Love your Heavenly Father with your whole heart and soul, love every child of God as much as ever you can, and remember that the possibilities of good are greater than the possibilities of evil; and you have the key to Heaven." And his life was a happy illustration of this great truth. In his noble soul love and widest knowledge were blended with faith that had become insight. He saw

在生活当中,我有幸享受到了许多“特权”,其中最为我珍视的就是同那些天才人物的交谈。只要认识布鲁克斯主教的人,都能从与他的友谊当中体会到切实的快乐。还是一个小孩子的时候,我就喜欢坐在他的腿上玩;我用一只手紧紧攥住他的大手,而他的关于神和灵魂世界的精彩述说,则被苏立文小姐一一拼写在我的另一只手上。我带着小孩子的好奇和喜悦听他娓娓道来,虽然我的精神境界无法达到他那样的高度,但是他确实让我领悟到了什么叫做真正快乐的生活。在我成长的过程中,没有他的悉心教诲,我就不会明了杰出思想的魅力和其深邃的内涵。记得有一次,我对世界上竟然存在着如此多的宗教十分不解。布鲁克斯主教对我说道:“天地间只有一种宗教,海伦——那就是爱的宗教,用你全部的心灵去爱你的天父,尽你的一切可能去爱每一个神的孩子,要时刻牢记,正义的力量终将会战胜邪恶,懂得了这个道理,你便得到了进入天堂的钥匙。”事实上,他的生活正是这种伟大真理的完美写照。在他崇高的博爱思想和广博的学识之中,已经被深深地融入了信仰的力量。他看到了——

God in all that liberates and lifts,

在人类争取解放和自由的过程中,神无处不在,

In all that humbles, sweetens and consoles.

在所有卑微者面前,神会施与伤者爱的援手

Bishop Brooks taught me no special creed or dogma; but he impressed upon my mind two great ideas--the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man, and made me feel that these truths underlie all creeds and forms of worship. God is love, God is our Father, we are His children; therefore the darkest clouds will break and though right be worsted, wrong shall not triumph.

布鲁克斯主教传授给我的并非特殊的信条或教义,但是他把两种伟大的观念赐给了我——神的父亲般的慈爱,以及人的兄弟般的情谊。我以为,这些真理正是构成一切信条和崇拜形式的基矗神是爱,神是我们的父,我们是他的孩子。有了这样的信念,即使是最黑暗的云也会被吹散,而且,这里也不会有罪恶与不义的容身之地。

I am too happy in this world to think much about the future, except to remember that I have cherished friends awaiting me there in God's beautiful Somewhere. In spite of the lapse of years, they seem so close to me that I should not think it strange if at any moment they should clasp my hand and speak words of endearment as they used to before they went away.

在这个世界上,我是感到如此地快乐,以至于很少考虑到未来;但是有一件事我永远记在心里——我所珍爱的友人们正在神创造的爱的国度里随时迎候我。尽管失散多年,但是他们似乎就在我的身边;假如在某一时刻,他们抓住我的手,如同以往一样对我说着贴心话,那么我是不会感到丝毫惊奇的。

Since Bishop Brooks died I have read the Bible through; also some philosophical works on religion, among them Swedenborg's "Heaven and Hell" and Drummond's "Ascent of Man," and I have found no creed or system more soul-satisfying than Bishop Brooks's creed of love. I knew Mr. Henry Drummond, and the memory of his strong, warm hand-clasp is like a benediction. He was the most sympathetic of companions. He knew so much and was so genial that it was impossible to feel dull in his presence.

自从布鲁克斯主教去世后,我通读了整部《圣经》,还有其他的一些宗教哲学著作。这其中就包括斯韦登伯格的《天堂与地狱》和遮蒙德的《人类的阶梯》,可是我发现,同布鲁克斯主教“爱的信念”相比,这些人所持的信条或教理都无法令人获得心灵上的满足。我认识亨利·遮蒙德先生,印象中,他那双有力、温暖的手如同一句热情的祝福语。他是最富有同情心的良友,他是如此地和蔼可亲,只要有他在身边,你就不会感到枯燥乏味。

I remember well the first time I saw Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes. He had invited Miss Sullivan and me to call on him one Sunday afternoon. It was early in the spring, just after I had learned to speak. We were shown at once to his library where we found him seated in a big armchair by an open fire which glowed and crackled on the hearth, thinking, he said, of other days.

我很清楚地记得第一次见到奥利佛·温代尔·霍尔姆斯博士时的情景。那是在一个星期天的下午,他邀请我和苏立文小姐去他家做客。当时正值初春季节,那时我刚刚学会了开口讲话。我们立刻被人带到了他的图书馆,他坐在一张大扶手椅里,壁炉里的炭火噼噼啪啪地烧得正旺,他说他在想着往日的时光。

"And listening to the murmur of the River Charles," I suggested.

“还在倾听查尔斯河的潺潺流水。”我试探着说道。

"Yes," he replied, "the Charles has many dear associations for me." There was an odour of print and leather in the room which told me that it was full of books, and I stretched out my hand instinctively to find them. My fingers lighted upon a beautiful volume of Tennyson's poems, and when Miss Sullivan told me what it was I began to recite:

“不错,”他回答道,“我同查尔斯河的关系可是亲密无间呢。”房子里面有一股油墨和皮革的味道,这里显然到处都是书,于是我不由自主地伸手摸索起来。我的指尖无意中落在了丁尼生的一部诗集上,当苏立文小姐把诗集的名字告诉我以后,我就开始背诵:

Break, break, break

断裂,断裂,彻底断裂吧

On thy cold gray stones, O sea!

在你那冰冷的灰石头上,哦,浪涛!

But I stopped suddenly. I felt tears on my hand. I had made my beloved poet weep, and I was greatly distressed. He made me sit in his armchair, while he brought different interesting things for me to examine, and at his request I recited "The Chambered Nautilus," which was then my favorite poem. After that I saw Dr. Holmes many times and learned to love the man as well as the poet.

突然间,我停止了背诵。我感觉到我的手上浸满了泪水,我已经令我所钟爱的诗人落泪。为此,我也感到了巨大的忧伤。他让我坐在他的扶手椅上,同时,他还拿出了很多有趣的东西让我查验。在他的请求下,我还背诵了《背负房间的鹦鹉螺》,这是我当时最喜欢的一首诗。后来,我又多次见到过霍尔姆斯博士,我从他身上不但学到了诗,也学到了爱。

One beautiful summer day, not long after my meeting with Dr. Holmes, Miss Sullivan and I visited Whittier in his quiet home on the Merrimac. His gentle courtesy and quaint speech won my heart. He had a book of his poems in raised print from which I read "In School Days." He was delighted that I could pronounce the words so well, and said that he had no difficulty in understanding me. Then I asked many questions about the poem, and read his answers by placing my fingers on his lips. He said he was the little boy in the poem, and that the girl's name was Sally, and more which I have forgotten. I also recited "Laus Deo," and as I spoke the concluding verses, he placed in my hands a statue of a slave from whose crouching figure the fetters were falling, even as they fell from Peter's limbs when the angel led him forth out of prison. Afterward we went into his study, and he wrote his autograph* for my teacher and expressed his admiration of her work, saying to me, "She is thy spiritual liberator." Then he led me to the gate and kissed me tenderly on my forehead. I promised to visit him again the following summer; but he died before the promise was fulfilled.

在会见霍尔姆斯博士不久之后的一个阳光明媚的夏日,我和苏立文小姐在“梅里麦克”号上拜访了惠蒂尔先生。他温文尔雅的举止和不俗的谈吐赢得了我的好感。他曾出版过一本凸版印刷的诗集,我选读了其中的一首《校园时光》。他惊讶于我的读音是如此地准确,还说理解起来毫无困难。随后我又问了他很多关于诗歌的问题。我把手指放在他的嘴唇上,这样就可以“读出”他的回答。他说他自己就是诗中的那个小男孩,而那个女孩的名字叫萨莉,他当然不只说了这些,但是我大都不记得了。我还为他背诵了《洛斯迪奥》,当我吟诵到最后的诗句时,他把一个奴隶的雕像放在了我的手中,奴隶身体蜷曲,脚踝拴着脚镣,就像刚被天使从监狱中解救出来的样子——奴隶一下子瘫倒在彼得的翅膀之下。后来,我们走进了他的书房,他不但为我的老师亲笔签名,还向她表达了钦佩之意。他对我说:“她是你灵魂的拯救者。”最后,他领我来到门口,并且轻柔地吻了吻我的额头。我答应他来年夏天还去拜访他,可是不等我履行诺言,他便去世了。

Dr. Edward Everett Hale is one of my very oldest friends. I have known him since I was eight, and my love for him has increased with my years. His wise, tender sympathy has been the support of Miss Sullivan and me in times of trial and sorrow, and his strong hand has helped us over many rough places; and what he has done for us he has done for thousands of those who have difficult tasks to accomplish. He has filled the old skins of dogma with the new wine of love, and shown men what it is to believe, live and be free. What he has taught we have seen beautifully expressed in his own life--love of country, kindness to the least of his brethren, and a sincere desire to live upward and onward. He has been a prophet and an inspirer of men, and a mighty doer of the Word, the friend of all his race--God bless him!

爱德华·埃弗里特·黑尔博士是同我交往时间最久的朋友之一,我八岁时就认识他了。随着年龄的增长,我对他的敬意也与日俱增。每当苦难和悲伤降临的时候,他的智慧和同情心给了我和苏立文小姐以强有力的支持;而且,他不但对我们伸出援手,对于成千上万坎坷无助的生灵,他同样给予无私的关爱。他用新酿制的“爱的美酒”为陈腐教条的“旧酒”注入活力。他向人们展示了信念、生存与自由的真谛。在他的言传身教之中,我们也看到了他表里如一的高尚生活——对故土的热爱,对每一个同胞兄弟的仁慈之心,以及积极进取的生活态度,这些无一不显示出他坦荡磊落的人格魅力。在我的眼中,他就是一位先知,一位灵魂施救者,一位精尽不怠的圣徒。所有认识他的朋友们啊——让我们祈祷神保佑他!

Miss Keller, Miss Sullivan and Dr. Edward Everett Hale, 1902

凯勒小姐,小姐沙利文博士和爱德华埃弗里特黑尔,1902年

I have already written of my first meeting with Dr. Alexander Graham Bell. Since then I have spent many happy days with him at Washington and at his beautiful home in the heart of Cape Breton Island, near Baddeck, the village made famous by Charles Dudley Warner's book. Here in Dr. Bell's laboratory, or in the fields on the shore of the great Bras d'Or, I have spent many delightful hours listening to what he had to tell me about his experiments, and helping him fly kites by means of which he expects to discover the laws that shall govern the future air-ship. Dr. Bell is proficient in many fields of science, and has the art of making every subject he touches interesting, even the most abstruse theories. He makes you feel that if you only had a little more time, you, too, might be an inventor. He has a humorous and poetic side, too. His dominating passion is his love for children. He is never quite so happy as when he has a little deaf child in his arms. His labours in behalf of the deaf will live on and bless generations of children yet to come; and we love him alike for what he himself has achieved and for what he has evoked from others.

我已经描述过我同亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔博士初次会面时的情景。自那以后,我又在他华盛顿的家中度过了很多个愉快的日子。他美丽的家坐落在布赖顿岛海角的腹地,毗邻巴代克,这个小村因被查尔斯·达德利·沃纳写进书里而闻名。无论在贝尔博士的实验室,还是在辽阔的巴拉斯德奥尔海岸,我兴味盎然地听他讲述自己的试验,有时一听就是好几个小时。我还帮他放风筝——博士期望借此发现控制未来飞行器飞行的规律。贝尔博士不但精通各类学科,而且具有把那些知识化腐朽为神奇的本事,即便是最深奥的理论,他也能够轻松破解。同他在一起,你不禁会产生出这样的感觉,假如你只有有限的一点时间,那么,你也有可能成为一个发明家。当然,他的身上也具有幽默和诗情画意的一面。不妨说,他对孩子们的那份爱是发自肺腑的。当他把一个失聪的小孩抱在怀里时,他简直高兴得无以复加。他为了聋哑人的利益而付出的劳动,将保佑一代又一代儿童健康成长。我们爱他,不只是因为他所取得的伟大成就,还因为他唤醒了他人心中的希望。

During the two years I spent in New York I had many opportunities to talk with distinguished people whose names I had often heard, but whom I had never expected to meet. Most of them I met first in the house of my good friend, Mr. Laurence Hutton. It was a great privilege to visit him and dear Mrs. Hutton in their lovely home, and see their library and read the beautiful sentiments and bright thoughts gifted friends had written for them. It has been truly said that Mr. Hutton has the faculty of bringing out in every one the best thoughts and kindest sentiments. One does not need to read "A Boy I Knew" to understand him--the most generous, sweet-natured boy I ever knew, a good friend in all sorts of weather, who traces the footprints of love in the life of dogs as well as in that of his fellowmen.

我在纽约生活的两年间,曾有很多机会同那些耳熟能详的著名人物交谈,但是我决不会去刻意求见他们。他们中的很多人在同我见过一次面后就成了好朋友,比如劳伦斯·休顿先生。我曾十分荣幸地拜访过他和贤惠的休顿夫人,我还参观了他家的图书馆,并且读到了他的天才朋友们写给他们的留言,这些留言饱含感情,不乏真知灼见。你确实可以这样说,休顿先生能够把每一个人的优秀思想和善良品质发掘出来,他的确具有这样的本事。一个人不必阅读《我所认识的一个男孩》就可以了解他——他是我认识的最慷慨、最善良的男孩;也是那种在任何情况下都对你不离不弃的好朋友。在生活的漫漫征途中,他会一路寻着爱的足迹,并从中找到他的手足同胞。

Mrs. Hutton is a true and tried friend. Much that I hold sweetest, much that I hold most precious, I owe to her. She has oftenest advised and helped me in my progress through college. When I find my work particularly difficult and discouraging, she writes me letters that make me feel glad and brave; for she is one of those from whom we learn that one painful duty fulfilled makes the next plainer and easier.

休顿夫人也是那种患难见真情的朋友。我被浓浓的友情所包围,我拥有了最珍贵的礼物,这一切都要归功于她。她不遗余力地对我谆谆教诲,而且帮助我完成了大学的学业。每当我在学习中身处困境而心灰意冷时,她就会写信鼓励我,让我重新燃起斗志。从她身上,我们学到了这样一条真理——只有克服了眼前的困难,下一步的路途才会变得平坦易行。

Mr. Hutton introduced me to many of his literary friends, greatest of whom are Mr. William Dean Howells and Mark Twain. I also met Mr. Richard Watson Gilder and Mr. Edmund Clarence Stedman. I also knew Mr. Charles Dudley Warner, the most delightful of story-tellers and the most beloved friend, whose sympathy was so broad that it may be truly said of him, he loved all living things and his neighbour as himself. Once Mr. Warner brought to see me the dear poet of the woodlands--Mr. John Burroughs. They were all gentle and sympathetic and I felt the charm of their manner as much as I had felt the brilliancy of their essays and poems. I could not keep pace with all these literary folk as they glanced from subject to subject and entered into deep dispute, or made conversation sparkle with epigrams and happy witticisms. I was like little Ascanius, who followed with unequal steps the heroic strides of Aeneas on his march toward mighty destinies. But they spoke many gracious words to me. Mr. Gilder told me about his moonlight journeys across the vast desert to the Pyramids, and in a letter he wrote me he made his mark under his signature deep in the paper so that I could feel it. This reminds me that Dr. Hale used to give a personal touch to his letters to me by pricking his signature in braille. I read from Mark Twain's lips one or two of his good stories. He has his own way of thinking, saying and doing everything. I feel the twinkle of his eye in his handshake. Even while he utters his cynical wisdom in an indescribably droll voice, he makes you feel that his heart is a tender Iliad of human sympathy.

休顿先生还把他很多文学界的朋友介绍给我,包括大名鼎鼎的威廉·迪安·豪厄尔斯和马克·吐温。我见到了理查德·沃特森·吉尔德先生和埃德蒙德·克拉伦斯·斯泰德曼先生,还结识了查尔斯·达德利·沃纳先生。他是最讨人喜欢的“说书人”,也是我最钟爱的友人;他有着无比深切的同情心,爱人如己。记得有一次,沃纳先生带我拜会了可敬的“林地诗人”——约翰·巴勒斯先生。在我看来,他们都是些心地善良而富于同情心的人,他们的人格魅力正如他们笔下的散文和诗歌一样散发着璀璨的光芒。当然,我是无法同这些文学大家盘经论道的,尤其是当他们在不同话题之间纵横捭阖,或者辩论正酣、妙语连珠的时候。我就像小阿斯卡涅斯一样,他步履蹒跚地跟在英雄父亲埃涅阿斯身后,无怨无悔地迎接命运的安排。他们热情地同我谈天说地,吉尔德先生向我讲述了他月夜旅行的经历,他曾穿越浩瀚的大沙漠前往金字塔。在给我写的信中,他特意在落款后面留下一个深深的标记,这样我就可以在纸上摸到它了。而黑尔博士自有他私人的问候方式,他会把落款签名用盲文刺在纸上。我还通过触摸马克·吐温的嘴唇而“阅读”了他的一两篇小说。马克·吐温有着自己独特的思维方式,无论讲话做事都个性鲜明。在同他握手时,我能感觉到他那炯炯有神的目光。他经常会以一种难以描述的机智而诙谐的语言针砭时弊,即使在这种时候,他依然会令你感觉到他那如同伊利亚特一样的慈悲心肠。

There are a host of other interesting people I met in New York: Mrs. Mary Mapes Dodge, the beloved editor of St. Nicholas, and Mrs. Riggs (Kate Douglas Wiggin), the sweet author of "Patsy." I received from them gifts that have the gentle concurrence of the heart, books containing their own thoughts, soul-illumined letters, and photographs that I love to have described again and again. But there is not space to mention all my friends, and indeed there are things about them hidden behind the wings of cherubim, things too sacred to set forth in cold print. It is with hesitancy that I have spoken even of Mrs. Laurence Hutton.

在纽约时,我同样遇到了许多有趣的人物:比如玛丽·曼普斯·道奇夫人,就是那位可爱的《圣·尼古拉斯》杂志社的编辑。还有里格斯夫人(即凯特·道格拉斯·维津),她是《帕特希》一书的作者。我不但感受到了她们的爱心,还收到了包含了她们个人思想的书籍、启迪心灵的书信,以及那些让我爱不释手,描述了一遍又一遍的照片。当然,在这里不可能把我所有的朋友逐一提及,但是关于他们的点点滴滴,全都无一例外地被珍藏在天使的翅膀之下,这些记忆是如此地庄严神圣,远非文字所能表达清楚。因此,我是怀着犹豫不决的心情来(向你们)介绍劳伦斯·休顿夫人的。

I shall mention only two other friends. One is Mrs. William Thaw, of Pittsburgh, whom I have often visited in her home, Lyndhurst. She is always doing something to make some one happy, and her generosity and wise counsel have never failed my teacher and me in all the years we have known her.

我还应该在这里提一提我的另外两个朋友。一位是匹兹堡的威廉·肖夫人,我经常去她在林德赫斯特的家做客。她为人热情,总是做一些让人开心的事。在同她交往的这些年里,她的循循善诱和从未间断的慷慨援助令我和我的老师永生难忘。

To the other friend I am also deeply indebted. He is well known for the powerful hand with which he guides vast enterprises, and his wonderful abilities have gained for him the respect of all. Kind to every one, he goes about doing good, silent and unseen. Again I touch upon the circle of honoured names I must not mention; but I would fain acknowledge his generosity and affectionate interest which make it possible for me to go to college.

我当然不会忘记另一位于我有恩的朋友。他以强有力的手段统领着巨大的产业帝国,他杰出的(经营)才能为他赢得了世人的赞誉。他待人友善,在不为人知的状态下默默地做着善事。作为承诺,我不能在这些令人尊敬的人士中说出他的名字;但是,我一定要感谢他慷慨无私的资助,否则,我是不可能迈入大学校门的。

Thus it is that my friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privileges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.

不妨这样说,正是我的朋友们成就了我的生活和我的故事。他们想方设法地把我的缺陷转变成一种荣耀(神)的特权,使我在丧失光明的黑暗中也能平静而愉快地行走。

* "With great admiration of thy noble work in releasing from bondage the mind of thy dear pupil, I am truly thy friend. JOHN G. WHITTIER."

“随着你的崇高工作十分钦佩从束缚你的亲爱的学生的心灵释放,我是你真正的朋友。约翰G惠蒂尔。”


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