" I had a funny dream last night,Mum."
"Did you?"
"I dreamed I was awake, but when I woke up I found I was asleep!"
Teacher: Kevin, you're late for school again. What is the excuse this time?
Kevin: Oh, sir ,it was that new sign outside the playground in the street. I would have been here on time but it says " School---- Go show", so I had to stop running.
"My cat took first prize at the Bird Show."
"Your cat took first prize at the Bird Show? How can he manage that?"
"He ate the prize parrot..."