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[Articles Enjoy] 心灵鸡汤【完结】

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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举报 只看楼主 使用道具 楼主   发表于: 2014-08-22 0
心灵鸡汤【完结】
[align=center][table=80%,#67b3cd,#ffffff,1][tr][td] [/td][td] [/td][td] [/td][/tr][tr][td] [/td][td][table=100%,#ffffff,#ffffff,5][tr][td][font=微软雅黑][attachment=11787035][/font][/td][/tr][/table][/td][td] [/td][/tr][tr][td] [/td][td] [b][color=#ffffff] Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ  Ψ[/color][/b][/td][td] [/td][/tr][tr][td] [/td][td][table=100%,#ffffff,#ffffff,1][tr][td][font=微软雅黑][color=#22738e][b]米歇尔演讲 我的祖先身披锁链来到美国[/b]

First lady Michelle Obama embraced her family’s African roots in a speech on Wednesday, telling a group of young Africans that the “blood of Africa” runs through her veins as she urged changing traditional beliefs on the worth of educating women.
7月30日，美国第一夫人米歇尔•奥巴马对非洲青年领袖发表演讲，她与非洲“血脉相连”，当年她的祖先带着锁链来到美国。

Her husband had shied away from discussing his African heritage in his own remarks to the 500 Africans finishing a six-week Washington leadership fellowship on Monday, referencing his Kenyan father only once and in the question-and-answer session. But Michelle Obama said as an African American woman, her discussion with the African youth was “deeply personal.”
7月28日，米歇尔的丈夫，美国总统贝拉克•奥巴马在华盛顿与500名非洲青年才俊的对话中，对其非洲血统避而不谈，仅是在问答环节中谈到他的肯尼亚父亲一次。但是米歇尔•奥巴马大方表示，作为一名非洲裔美国女性，她与非洲青年的对话源自“个人内心深处情感”。

“The roots of my family tree are in Africa, ” the first lady told the cheering crowd. “My husband’s father was born and raised in Kenya. Members of our extended family still live there. I have had the pleasure of traveling to Africa many times over the years, including four trips as first lady, and I have brought my mother and my daughters along whenever I can.”
这位美国第一夫人说，“我的家庭的根在非洲，我丈夫的父亲生于肯尼亚，长于肯尼亚。我们的大家庭里还有人住在肯尼亚。多年来，我有幸多次回到非洲，其中以第一夫人身份就有四次。只要条件允许，我总会带上我的母亲和女儿们。”

“The blood of Africa runs through my veins, and I care deeply, ” Obama said, addressing her listeners as her “brothers” and “sisters.”
米歇尔说“我与非洲血脉相连，我非常关心非洲”。演讲中，米歇尔将听众称作自己的“兄弟姐妹”。

Three months before congressional elections that could determine the fate of much of President Obama’s platform, Michelle Obama’s popularity remains high while her husband’s has sunk.
距离美国国会中期选举还有三个月的时间，这次中期选举将很大程度上决定奥巴马政府施政计划的命运。目前奥巴马总统的受欢迎程度不断下滑，而米歇尔•奥巴马却依然广受欢迎。

The White House is making women’s empowerment a theme in a Washington African leaders summit next week. Michelle Obama said problems with girls’ education often stemmed from traditional “attitudes and beliefs” that exist even in the United States and lead to issues such as the gender pay gap and an underrepresentation of women in leadership.
白宫方面将妇女赋权作为下周开幕的美非峰会的一个主题。米歇尔•奥巴马表示，女性教育常常因传统“态度与观念”而受阻，这种“态度与观念”甚至在美国也依然存在。而女性教育受阻则会造成性别收入差异以及女性在领导阶层代表不足。

She said men worldwide needed to “look into their hearts and souls and ask if they truly view women as their equals.”
米歇尔称，全世界的男性都要“审视自己的内心与灵魂，问问自己是否真正平等看待女性”。  

“I am who I am today because of the people in my family, particularly the men in my family, who valued me and invested in me from the day I was born, ” Obama said.
米歇尔说，“我之所以成为今天的我，全都因为亲人们的支持，尤其是男人们，他们重视我，并从我出生的那天起，对我教育的投资便毫不吝啬。”  

“And as I grew up, the men who raised me set a high bar for the type of men I’d allow into my life - which is why I went on to marry a man who had the good sense to fall in love with a woman who was his equal, to treat me as such - a man who supports and reveres me, and who supports and reveres our daughters as well, ” Obama said.
米歇尔说，“当我长大后，我的父亲对我择偶的标准要求很高，这就是我为什么会嫁给贝拉克，他能够爱上一个同自己一样优秀的女性，支持我，尊敬我，对我们的女儿也是一样”。[/color][/font][/td][/tr][/table][/td][td] [/td][/tr][tr][td] [/td][td] [/td][td] [/td][/tr][/table][/align]


[ 此帖被JessieAqua在2014-10-02 22:14重新编辑 ]
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JessieAqua

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如何做一个积极正面思考的人


Positive thinking is a significant element of happiness. In order to become a positive thinker,determination and consistency are important. The first thing to know about positive thinkingis that everyone can do it. With certain cognitive and behavioral modifications, we can allbecome positive thinkers. Another important factor is that being a positive thinker does notmean you become numb to anything that is not working properly in your life or is negative —it just means that you approach life and face challenges with a healthier outlook.
正面思考是幸福的重要组成部分。要想成为一个积极的思考者，决心和毅力必不可少。首先你要知道，每个人都能成为积极思考者。只要改善一定的认知和行为，我们都可以做到。另外一个很重要的因素就是：你不需要对那些不是很完美的事情麻木不仁或是带有悲观的色彩——只是说人生和挑战你都要积极的对待。


To become a positive thinker, these may help you:
要想成为一个积极的思考者，下面这些也许能帮到你：


1. Change your self-monitoring:
改变自我监督


Instead of selectively attending to negative events, focus on the positive ones. Then payattention to the delayed consequences of your behavior rather than the immediate ones. Forexample, if a job is not going like you want, focus on the fact that you have a job and how youcan take your time to make the situation better.
与其选择做那些消极的事情，不如集中做些积极的吧。然后看看你的行为之后的效果。不是立竿见影的那种。比如，如果工作不是很喜欢，就记住你有一份工作的事实，专注如何能把情况变得好点。


2. Change your self-evaluation:
改变自我评价：


Challenge any inaccurate internal attributions and see if you compare your behavior tostandards that are excessively rigid and perfectionistic. If so, change these and bereasonable with your comparisons. For example, if you constantly compare your weaknesseswith other peoples' strengths, then switch this and compare yourself with those who are doingpoorer than you as well. Overall, people who focus more on their strengths than theirweaknesses but at the same time are aware of their weaknesses have a healthierself-evaluation result.
探究那些内部失败的原因，看看自己的行为是否是没有达到严格完美的标准。如果是，就改掉那些标准，接受自己目前的不足。比如如果你总是把自己的缺点和别人的优点作比较，那么换一下，也和那些做的没有你好的人比一比吧。一般来说，人们都会更关注他们的强项而非弱点，但同时他们也会意识到缺点会有更健康的自我评价结果。


3. Change your self-reinforcement:
改变自我奖励机制：


If you have low rates of self-reward and high rates of self-punishment when it comes to certainaspects of your life, then you want to modify this. For example, think more of how far you'vecome, how hard you've worked, acknowledge yourself for it and then see how much furtheryou want to go.
如果你对自己奖励很少惩罚很多，而这似乎已成为一种惯性时，是时候改变一下了。比如，多想想你已经达到哪些成就，多么努力地工作，奖励一下自己，然后看看你还能走多远。


4. Draw conclusions with evidence:
根据事实得出结论：


Look at the evidence, look at the events, look at patterns and don't base your conclusions onassumptions. For example, don't just assume someone will cheat you because they look like orin some ways act like an ex you didn't get along with. Look at other elements to see if there isany evidence for your assumption.
根据事实得出结论：看看事实，看看事件，看看形式，千万别把结论基于猜想上。比如，不要因为某些人看起来像在骗你或是表现的让你觉得不怎么舒服，就认为他们的确在骗你。看看有没有其他证据能证实你的观点吧。


5. Don't be that individual:
别把事情过分个人化：


The majority of how people interact with you is due to their own personality, strengths, andbaggage and does not have as much to do with you. Pay attention to how to differentiatebetween different interaction signals. For example, instead of immediately getting frustratedbecause the waitress was a little late attending to you, think that maybe she is having a reallytough day or too may tables to take care of.
大部分时候人们如何和你交往都取决于他们的个性、能力和精神状态，和你其实没多大关系。注意如何区分不同的交际信号。比如，与其为迟来的服务生感到生气，不如换位思考，想想他今天心情不好，或者实在是太忙了吧。


6. Don't do “either/or” thinking:
别做选择题


Black and white thinking based on perfectionistic thought is counterproductive. Every time athought pops up and has words like “should” or “must,” challenge it. For example, instead ofsaying “this should be done this way,” say something like, “I prefer it this way but I am surethere are other ways to do and am willing to be open.
基于完美的非黑即白想法反而会让你达不到预期的效果。每次出来一个想法，有着类似于“应该”“必须”这样的字眼，那么不妨改变一下吧。比如与其说“应该这么去完成”，不如说“我喜欢这个方法，但是我觉得肯定会有更好的方法能达到我们预期的效果。”




7. Don't do emotional reasoning:
不要太情绪化


This is a belief based on feeling alone without any rational thinking behind it. For example, youdon't like such and such but you don't have any logical reason for not liking them.
冲动是魔鬼，这句话的确是是真理。例如，你总是没来由的不喜欢一些东西。


8. Challenge your “what if” thoughts:
改变那些“假使……”的想法：


When faced with too much fear about a situation, imagine the worst case scenario and visualizea solution for it, then let go of fear. This way, you will be prepared for anything and your fearwould not block you from being open and creative to different solutions. For example, if youare constantly worried about losing your job up to a point where it is creating a lot of anxietyand fear and is effecting your performance and your happiness negatively, then think of losingyour job, visualize how you will handle it, find solutions in your mind and then let go of thethought and the fear attached to it.
遇到太多的恐慌，想想最糟糕的的情况吧，设想一下那样的场景，然后把恐惧丢到脑后。这样你就算是做足了准备，恐惧感也不会再阻碍到你对于不同情景的创造力。例如，如果你总是担心失业，十分的焦虑和害怕，甚至影响到了你的表现和幸福，那么就想想如果你真的失业了，你会如何处理，自己想一想解决方案，然后就果断抛弃这些消极的想法和恐惧吧。


At the end, positive thinkers are better problem solvers and have better interactions. Inaddition to that, people who are positive thinkers are happier and more satisfied with their life.
最后，积极思考者都更善于解决问题，更好的与人交际。除此之外，那些积极思考者会更开心更知足。
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JessieAqua

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要金子,自己挖 If You Want Golds, Dig them by Yourself

There was once a farmer who had a fine olive orchard. He was very hardworking, and the farm always prospered under his care. But he knew that his three sons despised he farm work, and were eager to make wealth, through adventure.
从前有一个农民，他有一座漂亮的橄榄园。他非常勤劳，而且农场在他的照管下蒸蒸日上。可他知道自己的三个儿子瞧不起农活，都迫不及待的想通过冒险发家致富。

When the farmer was old, and felt that his time had come to die, he called the three sons to him and said, “My sons, there is a pot of gold hidden in the olive orchard. Dig for it, if you wish it.” The sons tried to get him to tell them in what part of the orchard the gold was hidden; but he would tell them nothing more. After the farmer was dead, the sons went to work to find the pot of gold; since they did not know where the hiding-place was, they agreed to begin in a line, at one end of the orchard, and to dig until one of them should find the money.
这个农民上了年岁，感到死期快要来临时，将三个儿子叫到身边 说：儿子们，橄榄园里藏有一罐金子。你们想要，就去挖吧。儿子们想让父亲告诉他们金子藏在果园的那一块地方，可他什么也没再给他们说。那个农民死后，三个儿子就开始挖地，想找到那罐金子；因为他们不知道金子藏在什么地方，
所以他们一致同意排成一行从果园的一头开始挖起，直到其中一人挖到金子为止

They dug until they had turned up the soil from one end of the orchard to the other, round the tree-roots and between them. But no pot of gold was to be found. It seemed as if someone must have stolen it, or as if the farmer had been wandering in his wits. The three sons were bitterly disappointed to have all their work for nothing. The next olive season, the olive trees in the orchard bore more fruit than they had ever given; when it was sold, it gave the sons a whole pot of gold.
他们挖啊挖，从果园的一头一直挖到了另一头，果树周围和果树之间也都挖到了，可还是没有找到那罐金子。看来一定是有人已经把那罐金子头拿走了， 要么就是他们的父亲一直在异想天开。三个儿子对他们白干了一场，感到大失所望。到了第二年的橄榄季节，果园里的橄榄树接出的果子比以往的都多；卖完果子后，三个儿子赚了整整一罐金子。

And when they saw how much money had come from the orchard, they suddenly understood what the wise father had meant when he said, “There is gold hidden in the orchard. Dig for it, if you wish it.”
他们从果园里得到这么多钱后，突然明白了聪明的父亲所说的果园里藏有金子，想要就去挖吧，这句话的含义。

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JessieAqua

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对自己的心发问:你真的没时间吗

o You Have the Time?In English, this question has two different meanings.The first one is: “Do you know what time it is?” While not uncommon, this is less frequently used than the simpler question with the same meaning: “What time is it?”The other meaning is: “Do you have the time (e.g. to do this or that)?” This is a very commonly asked question, whether in American, British, or Australian English.If I were the editor of the Grand Encyclopedia of Excuses (a book which does not yet exist), I think that the response — “I don’t have the time” — would win the prize for being the most commonly used excuse, year after year.After all, it’s such a convenient excuse.
你真的没时间吗？在英文中，“你有时间吗”（Do You Have the Time?）有两种截然不同的含义。第一种含义是“你知道现在几点吗？”虽然这种问法并不少见，但比起直接问“几点啦”（What time is it ?）用得还是比较少。第二种含义是“你有时间（做某事）吗？”这种问法在美国英语、英国英语、澳洲英语中都十分常见。假如我是《借口大辞海》（一本迄今为止还不存在的书）的编辑，我会认为“没时间”将成为历年“最常用借口”大奖的得主。毕竟，用“没时间”做借口再方便不过。

Think about how often you (and I) have used this as an explanation of why we couldn’t do something, take on a new task, help someone, visit someone, etc. We’ve all used this excuse countless times. Sometimes it’s a statement of fact, and let’s face it, sometimes it’s just an excuse.The distinction here between a when it’s a statement of fact and when it’s an excuse is blurry and subjective, but deep down we each have a pretty clear idea of the difference.In practical terms, the lack of available time seems to be, and often is, a valid reason for why we cannot take something on. Unless, of course, we make the effort to re-arrange our time, within our abilities to do so, probably making a sacrifice of some sort in the process.“I just don’t have the time” is — all too often — a dodge, a hedge, and a cop-out. Once we get to a certain age, when we are generally considered to be “grown-ups”, we are expected to have developed improved time management skills.In many instances, “I don’t have time” has the same meaning as “I am not willing to make time.” Sure, we’re all busy; but in the end, it’s a matter of priorities: within work, work versus family, spouse or partner, friends, community, etc.
回想一下，你（还有我本人）用“没时间”来搪塞自己为什么不能做某事、不能接新任务、不能帮助别人、不能见别人的频率有多高。我们都快把这个借口用滥了。有时候事实可能的确如此，但有时候我们必须正视它只是个借口。在这里，事实和借口的界线十分模糊，也很主观，但在内心深处，我们都非常清楚它们的不同。在现实中，缺少时间似乎是，并且经常是我们不能做某事的正当理由。当然，除非我们能在能力许可的范围内尽量重新安排时间，并在这一过程中作出某种牺牲。“我只是没时间” 在太多情况下只是一种躲闪、回避和逃离。当我们到了某个年龄，被当作是“大人”时，就要求我们具备更完善的管理时间的技能。很多时候，“我没时间”和“我不愿意花时间”意思相同。的确，我们都很忙，但归根结底还是熟轻孰重的问题，这包括在工作中，也包括在工作和家庭、伴侣和合作伙伴、朋友和社会之间。

No one gives you the time. It doesn’t grow on trees or fall from the sky like raindrops. You make the time, as well as most of the related decisions about what is important. The key is what criteria you rely on. It may be coolness, a money-making opportunity, hanging out with the right crowd, or reaching out to people in need.If you don’t decide on the use of your time, the decision will be taken away from you. Lots of powerful magnets surround us, ready to pull our time from us like loose iron shavings off a table top. It’s really up to us to decide on how to balance and manage time, and that’s a challenge.Another saying in English is “take your time,” which means “relax; no great rush; follow your own pace” similar to the Chinese, “慢慢来”.I see a deeper meaning to this simple phrase, which is that if you don’t take (control of) your time, someone else will do so for you. It’s a bit like a child being told “eat your food, or someone else will.”That does not mean we should ignore unpredictable urgent demands on our time which can arise, which often impinge on our ability to do other more meaningful things. But it does mean we need to develop a clear-minded approach to prioritizing, and a disciplined approach to time management.
没有人能给你时间，时间不是树上结出的果子，也不会像雨点般从天而降。你只能自己创造时间，并对与其关系最紧密的问题，也就是事物重要性的问题做出决定。其中关键就是决策的依据，这个依据可能是酷，可能是挣钱的机会，可能是与情投意合的人结伴玩耍，也有可能是向有需要的人施以援手。如果你不支配自己的时间，那决定权就由不得你。我们身边有很多强力的磁场，会像从桌上吸走铁屑一样瞬间就吸走我们的时间。如何平衡与管理时间真的要取决于我们自己的决定，这是一个挑战。英语中有个说法叫“take your time”，意思是“放松，别着急，跟着自己的节奏走”，和中文中的“慢慢来”颇为相似。这个简单的短语让我看到一层深意，就是如果你不慢慢来（不控制时间），别人就会帮你控制。就像我们常对孩子说的：“吃你的饭，要不该被别人吃了。”这并不是说要忽略出人意料的突发事件在时间上对我们的要求，因为这种情况通常会激发我们的潜力，让我们做出更有意义的事。但是，它意味着我们必须对优先排序和时间管理有个思路清晰、条理清楚的办法。

If you consider customer relationships, how often is the root of a customer’s dissatisfaction the perception that we were too busy to pay attention to his or her needs? This is often a core element of customer unhappiness, and part of the reason we lose customers. If you consider friends and family relationships, how often is the root of hurt feelings the perception that “so and so” has become too busy to call, visit, answer our communications, etc? Left to people’s imagination and common fears, these feelings easily evolve into a sense of rejection, an erosion of trust, and eventually a breakdown in relationships. That is, unless we really care. And if we care, all it takes to avoid these speed bumps — in the workplace or elsewhere — is keeping a clear focus on priorities, and not getting swept up into the hectic pace to the extent that we begin to overlook some of the really important stuff. What helps to make “I don’t have the time” the most common excuse of all is that we often don’t even say it out loud. We simply think it, and act on it; so the other party is left wondering what the reason for our inattention is. That creates uncertainty, plants the seeds of doubt, and hurt feelings.
讲到客户关系，客户不满意从根本上讲有多少是与我们太忙而无法关注他们的需求有关？这往往是引起客户不高兴的主因，也是客户流失的部分原因。讲到朋友和家庭关系，伤感情的根本原因有多少是与某某人忙得没时间打电话、看望或回应沟通有关？仅凭想象和担忧，这种感觉很容易就会演化为反感、不信任，甚至最终导致关系的破裂。也就是说，除非我们真的在乎。如果在乎的话，为避免这种“减速带”，无论在职场或其他地方，所要做的就是关注轻重缓急，不要陷入手忙脚乱的节奏，以至于开始忽略真正重要的东西。让“我没时间”变成常用借口的一个帮凶就是我们通常不会大声把它说出来，而只是想想或者直接去做。结果，对方完全不明白我们不理不睬的原因，这样不仅会滋生不确定性，还会埋下怀疑和伤害感情的种子。

If we find that that has happened, whether at work or outside, the best antidote is to have the courage to say “I’m sorry.” It won’t solve the whole problem, but it helps repair the initial damage, and sets the stage for ongoing repair. If you think about your friends, colleagues and business partners, it’s not difficult to divide them into two categories: those rare ones who always make time for you when you need them, and those common folks who mostly don’t. In the long run, your loyalties will naturally gravitate to those who do. Beware the world’s most common excuse, whether you speak the words or just think the thought. When you look back on your life, you’ll be more appreciative of those occasions when you made the time than for those when you seized the advantage.
一旦发生这种情况，不管是在单位还是在外边，最好的矫正办法就是鼓足勇气说声“对不起”。虽然这解决不了什么问题，但却有助于修补最初的裂痕，并为进一步修复关系搭建平台。回想一下你的朋友、同事和商业伙伴，他们很容易就被分为两类：一类是极少数总能在你需要时挤出时间的人，另一类是大多数总也没有时间的人。长此以往，你的心自然就会偏向那些愿意为你花时间的人。对于这个世界上最常见的借口，大家一定要好好了解，无论是把它说出来还是藏在心里。回顾一生，那些挤出时间才完成的事总要比顺便才做的事更让你印象深刻。
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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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回首过往千万, 心口珍重难开

I've just come back from school, and I'm on my computer already! I could do anything to distract myself from your thoughts… I could read a book, do my homework or even have lunch.
我刚刚放学回家，就已经坐在了电脑前面！任何事情都能把我从对你的思念中拉回来……我可以找本书看、做作业或是吃午饭。

But I just don't want to. Because right now, all I really want to do is think about you. Think about the memories we made. Together. Or when we were apart. I knew I had you… and now I know that I don't.
但我并不想这样，因为此时此刻，我真正想做的事情就是想着你。想着我们共同的回忆，既有在一起的记忆，也有分开时的记忆。我知道你曾经是我的好友……而现在我也清楚这一切已一去不复返。

Our memories… that's all I'm really left with. Remember the day when we first met and how I annoyed you with my not-so-funny jokes, and how you pretended to laugh at them? And the day when we had our first biggest fight and how you gave me a card that said “Open this envelope with a smile because today is a special day for you” on my birthday? And how that made us friends again? You'd made my day, really.
我们的回忆……这是你留给我的全部了。你是否还记得我们第一次见面的那天，我跟你讲了一些并不好笑的笑话，你虽然有些烦，但还是装作大笑的样子？你是否还记得那天我们第一次大吵了一架，我生日时你给了我一张贺卡，上面写道“请微笑着打开这个信封，因为今天对你来说是个特殊的日子”？你是否还记得那张贺卡让我们重新成为朋友？你让我的生日与众不同，真的。

My chest hurts. It feels so empty.
我的心好疼，感觉空空的。

I love us. I love everything about us. Everything. And I never wanted this to end. I hate seeing you go away. I just wish I could stop you somehow and tell you how much I need you here. With me forever. But that would be selfish.
我喜欢我俩在一起的时候。我喜欢关于我俩的一切。所有的一切。我从没想过要让这一切结束。我不想看着你离去。我多么想找个借口阻止你离开，告诉你我有多需要你。只想让你和我在一起。但是这样太自私了。

Yesterday, I died a little inside when you said you'd be leaving at 10 pm for your flight. And I was just like,” Wow, so you really ARE leaving us.”
昨天，当你告诉我说，你要搭晚上十点的航班离开时，我的心好像有一小部分已经死去了。我当时只是说，“哦，你果真要离开我们了。”

But I can't help it, can I? Neither can you. I just realized how much I hated goodbyes. I don't want to ‘goodbye' you.
然而对此我却无能为力，不是么？你也无法改变这一切。我才意识到我多么讨厌说再见，不想跟你说“再见”。

The truth is, I've never been open to many people. I've been shy and quiet. So if I loved you enough to tell you all my secrets and show you the real me… you must be very special.
事实上，我并不是对所有人都能敞开心扉。我一直都很害羞、安静。因此，如果我喜欢你到告诉你我所有的秘密，并向你袒露真实的自我时……那你一定是个非常特殊的朋友了。

I regret everything I've said or done to hurt you. I'm sorry. I never meant to do those things to you.
我很后悔说了什么或做了什么而伤害了你。对不起，我从没想过要那样对你。

No matter the distance between us, no matter where you are, or where I am…I will always love you. And I just hope you love me too. Just for me, make sure Canada treats you better than we did.
无论相隔多远，无论你身在何方，无论我在哪个角落……我会一直爱着你。我只希望你也同样爱着我。答应我，在加拿大要过得好好的，要比和我们在一起的时候过得更好。

You're my best friend; you'll always be my best friend. You're my best friend for life.
你是我最好的朋友，将来一直都会是。你是我一生最好的朋友。

You're taking away eight years of my life with you. You're the only person who actually got me, who could tell when I was upset, who knew how to make me feel better… and now that person is going away.
你带走了我生命中的八年时光。你是唯一一个能够理解我，知道什么时候我很烦躁，知道如何安慰我的朋友……而现在，你走了。

Will you just do me a favor? Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will never forget about me. That you will always remember that you had a friend named Harshita.
你能帮我一个忙吗？答应我一件事，好吗？答应永远不要忘记我。你要永远记得你有一个朋友叫哈什塔。

And that's all I want you to do.
这就是我对你的所有要求。

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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不经意间的举动,道出我们难启的言语

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.” I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.
当我还在上高一时，有一天，我看到我们班的一个孩子正步行回家。他叫凯尔。他似乎背着所有的书。我心想：“为什么有人在周五就把所有的书都带回家呢？他肯定是个书呆子。”我的周末计划得非常详细（先是派对，在第二天下午和我的朋友踢足球）。因此我耸了耸肩，走开了。正走着，我看到一帮孩子朝他跑去。他们追上他，把他所有的书都从怀里扔到地上并把他绊倒，结果他摔在污泥里，眼镜也被打飞了，我看到它落在离他10英尺远的草地上。他抬起头时，我看到他眼里极度悲伤的表情。我的心也随他而去。因此，我慢步向他跑过去。在他爬着寻找眼镜时，我看到了他眼中的泪水。 我把眼镜递给他，说道：“那些家伙都是些蠢蛋，他们真该遭到报应。”

He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.
他看了看我，说：“嗨，谢谢了！”笑容在他脸上展现。正是这样的笑显示出了真正的感激。我帮他捡起书，问他住在哪里。原来他住得离我很近。于是我就问他，怎么以前我从没有见过他呢，他说在来这所学校以前他上的是私立学校。

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half the books.
以前，我从不与私立学校的孩子交往。我们一路聊着回家，我帮他拿着书。他原来竟是一位非常讨人喜欢的孩子，我问他是否周六想跟我及我的朋友一起踢足球。他答应了。整个周末我们都在一起，对凯尔了解得越多，我越是喜欢他。我的朋友也都这么认为。到了周一早晨，凯尔又要背上那个巨大的书包了。我制止他，说：“傻孩子，你每天背这么一大堆书，想练就一身强壮的肌肉呀！”他只是笑，并把一半书都递给了我。

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
接下来的四年里，凯尔和我成为最好的朋友。到了高年级后，我们开始考虑上大学的事。凯尔决定去乔治敦，而我要去杜克。我知道我们永远都是朋友，距离决不会成为问题。他以后想当一名医生，而我则要用足球奖学金经商。

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t me having to get up there and speak.
凯尔是我们班致告别词的学生代表。 我总是取笑他是一个书呆子。他必须为毕业准备一个演讲。我很庆幸不是我要站在那儿演讲。

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found themselves during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him! Boy, sometimes I was jealous.
毕业日来临了——我看到了凯尔，他看起来帅极了。他是那些在高中真正把握住自己的人之一。他长大了，实际上带着眼镜更好看。他的约会比我还要多，几乎所有的女孩都喜欢他。 天哪，有时候我都有些嫉妒。

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.”Thanks,” he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. “Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…. but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.” I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”
今天就是这样。我能看出他对于演讲有些紧张。因此，我拍了拍他的后背，说：“嗨，大小伙子，你会很出色的！”他看了看我，带着那样的表情（真正出于感激的那种），笑了。“谢谢，”他说。开始演讲时，他清了清喉咙，开始说：“毕业的时候，你应该感谢那些帮助你度过最困难时期的人。你的父母、老师、兄弟姐妹、也许还有教练……但主要是你的朋友。我在这儿要告诉你们，做别人的朋友是你能给予他们的最好礼物。我要给你们讲一个故事。”我不敢置信地望着我的朋友，他讲的就是我们第一天相遇的故事。他本来打算要在那个周末自杀，他谈到自己如何把课桌收拾干净，把他所有的东西都带回家，这样就不用妈妈以后再收拾了。他直直地看着我，给了我一个笑容。“谢天谢地，我获救了。我的朋友阻止了我去做那不堪设想的事情。”

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it’s depth.
当这位帅气的、受欢迎的男孩告诉我们有关他的最脆弱的时刻时，我听到人群中都深吸了一口气。我看到他的爸爸妈妈都看着我，带着同样感激的微笑。直到那时我才意识到它的深刻。

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life. For better or for worse.　
决不要低估你的行动的力量，一个简单的举止也许会改变人的一生，无论是好是坏。
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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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让自己成为一个善于倾听的人

Question: Are You a Good Listener?
提问：你是个善于倾听的人吗？

Answer A: Yes
答案一：是

Answer B: No
答案二：否

Answer C: Sometimes
答案三：有时候是

The correct answer to the above question, for you and for me, is:
上述问题的正确答案是：“三：有时候是”，这是我的答案，兴许也是你的答案。

If you think about your circle of friends, work associates and family members, you can almost certainly pick out one or more people among them who are generally not good listeners. They’re too busy listening to themselves or rushing around impatiently, or whatever. You have probably become accustomed to their weakness in this respect, whether you like it or not. If this person happens to be your boss, you’re in bad luck, but far from alone.
历数身边的朋友、同事和亲戚，你肯定会毫不犹豫地从中挑选出一个甚至几个不善倾听的人。他们整天忙着自说自话、东奔西走或是其他事情。无论你是否喜欢，你可能早就对他们的这些缺点习以为常。假如这个人恰好又是你的老板，那你的运气可真够差的！不过，你绝不是唯一的倒霉蛋儿。

Equally, if you think hard, you can probably think of someone you know who is a very good listener. If you’re fortunate, that person is a good friend, loved one, close colleague, or mentor. If that person is your boss, then it’s equivalent to winning the Mark Six, and you are very lucky indeed.
同理，如果你使劲儿想想，肯定也能从认识的人里找到好的听众。走运的话，这个人可能是你的好友、至爱、搭档或者良师。如果碰巧这个人是你的顶头上司，那你简直是幸运透顶，不亚于中了六合彩。

All too often, we associate the benefits of good listening skills with achieving very specific outcomes, like following the boss’s orders (aimed at getting a job promotion, etc.), getting a good test score (aimed at gaining admission to a good school), completing a list of assigned tasks (e.g. doing the household errands in a timely manner, aimed at avoiding harsh words from the higher authorities).
太多的情况下，我们总是把善于倾听的好处和实现极为特定的目标直接挂钩，比如对老板唯命是从（目的是获得晋升机会等）、提高考试成绩（以便考取名校）、完成分配的各项任务（比如及时做完家务，免遭长辈训斥）。

We tend to undervalue the importance of our listening skills as well as the scope of their potential application. We think of them as something pretty basic, which we mastered in our formal schooling, along with dictation, rote learning, studying for tests, obeying instructions, etc.
但我们低估了倾听技巧的重要性，以及它潜在的适用范围。我们误以为倾听是最基本的技能，我们早在上学期间就通过听写、背书、备考、辅导等方式熟练地掌握了它。

This is a shame. Someone should have taught us that listening skills should be the focus of ongoing, lifetime learning and development, related to but separate from the life-long quest to improve our language and communication skills.
其实我们应该为此感到脸红。也应该有人提早地教会我们，倾听技巧是终生学习和进步的核心，它与孜孜以求地提高语言能力和沟通技巧既有关联，又相互独立。

Think about the number of failures, misunderstandings, screw-ups, flare-ups, arguments and disputes which occur because two people or groups didn’t listen to each other effectively. We’re surrounded by this kind of outcome yet, all too often, we don’t analyze the root problem, or work on improvement steps.
想想两个人或两个团体由于不能做到彼此有效倾听，曾经导致过多少失败、误会、拧巴、碰撞、争论还有分歧。但即便类似的结果比比皆是，我们依旧不会分析问题的根源，或寻求改进的方式和步骤。

We still tend to treat listening skills the way we treat learning to walk or learning to ride a bicycle: we think that once we’ve acquired them, we’ve got it; we’re done, and ready to move on to the next thing. Wrong. The problem is that people and language are far more complex, varied and subtle than the roads and trails we travel on.
我们把学习倾听的技巧等同于学走路或学骑车：以为一旦学会，就可以牢固掌握，就可以开始做下一件事情了。错！问题在于人种和语言的复杂性、多样性及微妙性远远超过了我们行走或行驶的道路情况。

Apart from the fact that poor listening skills often erode effective dialogue between people, think about the upside potential. If we were able to consistently reduce routine misunderstandings in our conversations at home or at work by a factor of, say, 20-30%, there would be welcome dividends in efficiency, elimination of tiresome repetition and clarification, and just plain enhanced good vibes. What’s not to like?!
事实上，差劲的倾听能力往往会降低对话效率，姑且抛开这个不谈，让我们从积极的方面着想。假如我们能致力于将家庭或办公对话中常见的误会减少20–30%，就能提高效率，消除耗时耗力的重复和澄清，获得良性共鸣。何乐而不为呢？！

If we’re intrigued and enticed by cutting our carbon footprint by 20-30% or more, why not get equally focused on cutting our “confusion footprint” by a similar measure? The world around us would also benefit from this.
假如我们醉心于减少20-30%的碳排放，为什么我们不能对降低同样比例的“困惑”一视同仁呢？周遭的世界也会从中受益。

Often, the best talkers are the worst listeners. I have interrupted many glib, smooth-talking salespeople by asking how they could be so presumptuous as to try to sell me something without even asking about my needs. This is still a very common mistake.
最能说的人往往是最糟糕的听众。我曾打断过许多口若悬河的推销员，问他们为什么不事先了解我的需求，就武断地向我兜售产品。直到现在，这仍然是一个常见的错误。

Effective listening relies on the ears, in partnership with the mouth. Asking is to listening as yin is to yang.
有效倾听不仅要依靠耳朵，还需要嘴巴的配合。提问之于倾听，就如同阴阳的相伴相生。

Most of us need to develop our patience in the context of listening. The older we get the more challenging this is, because we tend to think that our great, deep body of experience entitles us to offer advice on a wide gamut of questions and issues, solicited or otherwise, especially to people younger than us.
我们大多数人都需要培养倾听过程中的耐心。年纪越大，就越不容易做到这一点。因为我们都自认为积累了丰富的经验，有资格对各种问题指手画脚，特别是替年轻人指点迷津，也不管人家是不是乐于请教。

If someone confides in us about something, we tend to assume they are seeking our advice. Maybe not. Maybe they just want a receptive ear and a supportive smile. That’s part of the challenge of listening — determining when the speaker wants a response, or advice, or feedback, and when they’re just looking for a good listen. To figure that out, sometimes we need to ask, which is an integral part of the listening process.
如果有人向我们袒露心声，我们就以为对方是在寻求建议。事实也许并非如此，他们需要的可能只是倾听的耳朵和支持的微笑。这也是倾听的难题之一——判断讲话者何时需要答复、建议、反馈，何时又只需要倾听。为了做出判断，我们有时需要发问，这也是倾听的组成部分。

What are you doing later today? Why not go out of your way to do a better job of listening to somebody? If needs be, raise your question to statement ratio, to ensure you get to the heart of what they are trying to say.
今天你还有什么事情要做？为什么不好好地听某人说说话？如果有必要，问个问题，确保你明白对方讲话的实质。

It just might do you — and them — some good.
这可能会对你——还有讲话的人——有所帮助。

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JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 44楼  发表于: 2014-09-12 0

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时间不等于结果 做对了才有价值

Punching a time clock makes no sense for professionals. Their contribution is not the time they spend on their work but the value they create through their knowledge.
对于职场人来说，掐表计时是毫无意义的。他们的贡献不在于花在工作上的时间，而在他们的知识所创造的的价值。

1. Know your priorities
1. 了解什么对自己最重要

Many things that you do at work are probably not the best use of your time. For instance, many professionals often spend much more time than necessary perfecting relatively low-priority tasks.
你做的工作中大部分都不是最能有效利用时间的。比如说，很多职员都把时间花在完善那些并不那么要紧的任务上。

Understand what really matters to you, your boss, and your organization, and then be willing to be less than perfect on your lower-priority tasks.
了解哪些是对你个人，老板，和所在的组织来说最重要的事情，然后想办法花更少时间在那些不是那么重要的事情上。

2. Avoid meetings like the plague!
2. 像躲避瘟疫一样避开会议！

In the same spirit, most professionals would agree that many business meetings are incredibly wasteful — they typically last too long, they usually fail to produce concrete results, and they are sometimes completely unnecessary. Yet, just as a misplaced focus on hours allows perfectionism to persist in the workplace, it also allows employees to keep scheduling redundant, poorly run meetings.
同理，大多数职场人觉得很多会议都是在浪费时间——它们往往持续时间很长，最后却没能得到什么实际的结果，大多数情况下这些会议根本没有召开的必要。不恰当地关注花了多少时间，会造成完美主义者坚持要在工作中达到一定的工时数，也会造成重复的计划和不必要的会议安排。

3. Don't forget to recharge
3. 不要忘了给自己充电

On the other side of the coin, an organization that places too much emphasis on time spent at the office probably neglects the importance of time spent away from the office. In order to be productive at work, professionals need to be able to recharge, physically and mentally.
从另一方面讲，如果过多的强调员工花在办公室的时间，就会忽视了工作之外时间的重要性。实际上，想要工作高效，职场人士需要经常地给自己充电，这包括精神上和身体上。

4. Exercise every day and get enough sleep
4. 坚持每天锻炼和保证充足的睡眠

On the physical dimension, sleep and exercise are often the first two personal activities to face the chopping block when professionals have to increase their hours spent in the office.
在身体层面上来讲，只有充足的睡眠和经常的体育锻炼才能够保证职场人可以长时间工作。

5. Avoid burnout
5. 不要让自己身心俱疲

Long hours at work wear people down mentally. All too often, I see professionals work to 8, 9, or 10 every night and go into the office every day of every weekend, even if there is no real crisis. While these professionals might be increasing their output over the short-term, this type of overwork inevitably leads to burnout.
长时间的超额工作会让人精神崩溃。我经常看到有些人，每天工作8到10个小时，甚至周末还经常到办公室加班，好像这样做并没有什么危害。尽管超负荷地工作会这些人在短期内提高工作成果，但长此以往，他们最终会让自己身心俱疲。

So you should assertively protect your personal time. That means being firm with your boss about times when you are not available — family dinners or your child's soccer games, perhaps.
所以，你应该学会保护自己的私人时间。这意味着当你有事的时候——参加家庭聚会或者孩子的足球比赛，你应该立场坚定地对老板说不。

6. Don't be afraid to speak up
6. 不要畏惧，大声说出自己的想法

Obviously, asking for more flexibility at work is easier said than done. But while I certainly can't guarantee that every request will be successful, I can state with confidence that there is little harm in asking politely.
很显然，“要求更灵活的工作时间”是一件说起来容易做起来难的事。虽然我不能保证每个请求都会成功，但我可以肯定的是，礼貌地要求是不会有多大坏处的。

Believe it or not, most bosses understand your desire to spend some time with your children or enjoy a romantic dinner with your spouse. Your boss can't address your needs unless he or she knows what they are!
不管你相信与否，实际上大多数老板都能理解你想多跟孩子在一起，或者想跟配偶吃顿烛光晚餐的想法。如果你不说，老板又怎么会知道你的想法呢！

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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如何在浮华躁动中保持平静

It’s going to be a chaotic day.
将会是混乱的一天。

How do I know? It’s Monday.
你怎么知道？因为是周一。

OK, joking.
好吧，我在开玩笑。

But, I do predict that today will be filled with the normal last-minute tasks,fire drills, and unforeseen events.
但是，我敢预言今天会出现紧急情况，处理紧急情况，以及不能预见的事件。

So, how do you keep yourself from being swept away in the stream of chaos?
因此，你要怎样将你置于混乱潮流之外？

How do you remain calm while others are rushing and panicking?
当别人都在匆忙做事，恐慌时你打算如何保持平静？
There’s a Problem… Panic!
这有一个问题...恐慌！

When things don’t go as planned, how do you react?
当事情无法按计划进行时，你打算怎么办呢？

Are you the calm one who works to fix things?
你会是那个平静做事的人吗？

Or the one running around like Chicken Little screaming that the sky is falling?
或者是那个小鸡似的尖叫，跑着像天要塌下来一样？

Getting upset or alarmed can seem like natural reactions to a problem.
失望，惊恐似乎是遇到问题时的自然反应。

Here are a few tips to help you remain calm in the face of the storm:
以下几点建议可以帮你在遇到突发情况时保持冷静:

·Don’t Panic– You are better able to find a solution if you aren’t panicking. If you can keep your head when others are losing theirs, you will be able to make a clear decision in the chaos.
不要惊慌-没有惊慌时最好能找出解决办法。如果在别人不够清醒时，你还能保持头脑清醒，你就能在混乱中做出一个明确的决定。

·There Aren’t Many True Emergencies - My time as a Naval Officer taught me about true emergencies. In the military, when there is a problem, people can get hurt or die. This is not usually the case when the office copier or email server goes down. Keep things in perspective. There are very few true emergencies in life.
没有那么多的紧急情况-在我还是海军的时候，海军军官就教我有关的紧急情况。那段时间，有问题发生的时候，要么是受伤，要么是死亡。办公室复印近或邮件服务器出问题的情况也不频繁。事情总在预期范围内。生活中很少有紧急情况发生。

·Less Talking, More Doing - Many people will spend time talking about the problem. Be the one thatdoessomething about it. I have seen executives talkabout problems while their entire company burned down. Stop critiquing the fire and grab a bucket of water.
少说，多做-很多人会花很多时间讨论这些问题。做一个做事的人。我曾看到过，整间公司在遭遇火灾时，高管人员还在高谈阔论。停止高谈阔论，提水灭火。

·Avoid the “Fight or Flight” - When you are stressed, your body will want to go into “fight or flight.” Your body was designed to keep you safe from danger, but its natural reflexes aren’t always the best solution against a project gone awry. Keep your emotions in check and ensure that your physical reflexes don’t make bad decisions for you.
避免“战斗或者逃跑”-有压力的时候，身体会想要“战斗或是打架”。你的身体生来就是为了保证你的安全的，但是对某件事来说，身体本能的反应并不总是最好的解决办法。整理情绪，确保本能的反应不会做出不好的决定。

·Head Into The Problem– While everyone else is running away, true leaders walk into a problem. Sticking your head in the sand only makes things worse. Instead of trying to ignore the situation, get to the heart of the issue as soon as possible. Only then can you address it.
解决问题-当他人在逃跑的时候，真正的领导者会了解问题。逃避只会让情况越来越糟，与其忽视这些问题，还不如尽可能地解决核心问题，只有这样才能够解决问题。

How Will You React?When you find yourself ready to lose it, take a step back.
发现自己要失去它的时候，后退一步。

Ask, “Is this truly an emergency?”
问，“这是真的困难？”

Keep your head when others are losing theirs.
当其他人都头脑混乱的时候，请保持头脑清醒。

And you’ll find that you are that much closer to a solution.
你会发现你会更接近解决问题的办法。

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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女人，当婚姻成为过去时，你可以过得更好的

I don't know about most divorced ladies, but I saw my split with my husband coming -- by a few years. I'd brought it up a few times, and he kept talking me out of it, which was sort of a relief. But I knew I was just postponing the inevitable. So I came up with the list: My Plan B. Everything I needed to put in order before I could divorce my husband for real, this time.
我不知道其他有过离婚经历的女性是怎样的，但我和我丈夫的分居经过了好长时间的迂回。我向他提出来好多次分居要求，他也作出过让我心软的挽回。但是我心里面明白，这只是时间的问题，我和他之间的分开是无可避免的。所以，我给自己做了一个B计划，因为如果离婚不可避免，我要我的生活重回正轨。

I'm so glad I made that list and followed through with it. I'm glad I didn't wallow in denial -- or in false hope. Some might say I doomed my marriage by giving up that hope and planning for the worst. But who's to say what the worst is? I say planning for a split is the most hopeful thing a woman can do.
我很庆幸我做出了这个计划，而且按照计划行事。我也很庆幸我没有因为婚姻的不幸而就此沉沦，或是变得不切实际。一些人可能会说，我对我的婚姻主动放弃，还为之做出这种糟糕的计划。但谁说这种计划是糟糕的呢？相反，做出计划对分居以后的女人来讲是十分有帮助的事。

First on my list was to get a full-time job with health insurance. Before I'd just sort of pieced together a career with freelance this and that. But if I was going to be on my own, I'd need much more stability. No more swinging from vine to vine. Plus, I knew I'd need a reason to get dressed and leave my home every day. I knew working from home in my pajamas would not be conducive to my recovery.
计划的第一条是：找一份全职工作，并给自己买健康保险。之前的工作都是些零散的自由投稿人之类的工作做。然而现在我要靠我自己生存了，所以，我需要我的工作更加稳定。不能消沉酗酒，我需要的是整齐着装，做个职场女性，我知道，穿着睡衣在家工作很难让自己振作起来。

But it wasn't enough for me to just get "a" job. Something about taking the bold step of admitting I was headed toward a divorce also emboldened me to stop monkeying around with my career and start working at something I actually wanted to do. As long as I was thinking about what I wanted my life to look like, it just made sense to apply that to my career.
当然不仅仅是找一份工作是不够的，有时候必须大胆的承认自己面临着离婚，必须鼓励自己向着自己一直以来的写作梦想前进。只要我规划我的事业和人生，我的事业就会通往成功。

And then I got a hold of my finances. I should have been doing this all along, but I created a spreadsheet tracking all my expenses. I wanted to find out if I could actually make it on my own. To my great relief, the math all worked out.
合理理财也是我的计划之一。早就该这样做了。我创建了一个电子表格，将我所有的开支全记录在案，我想试一下自己理财的能力，还好，结果表明我的数学头脑是够用的。

That's not everything from Plan B, but it's enough to show something interesting: Planning for the "worst" outcome actually improved my life before I even started to divorce my husband. Suddenly it was no longer about giving up -- it was about making smart choices and planning for the future. Even if I hadn't decided to divorce, I would have been moving ahead with a clearer vision of what I wanted my life to look like.
当然生活里有很多事是B计划里没有的，但是这个离婚前的B计划帮助我在最难得时候过得很好。蓦然间，我觉得我这么做不是对生活的放弃，而是用最聪明的方式去迎接未来。尽管，离婚对于我来说是不可避免的不幸，我的离婚前B计划却在这个时候让我更清晰的看到我想要的未来。

You never know what's going to happen next. It may not be divorce -- your husband could die suddenly. Anything could happen. Viewing your life through the lens of "what if" can be just the motivation and perspective shift you need to make changes that will make you happier regardless of what happens with your marriage.
你永远无法预测未来，人生是什么都有可能发生的，也许不是离婚然你们分离，也许天灾人祸让你们阴阳两相隔。为你的未来做几个假设可以让你改变观点和视角。所以，请确保无论你的婚姻发生什么状况，你都会活的快乐。

Have you ever made plans for what you'd do if you lost or divorced your spouse?
所以，女人们，你有计划吗？

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JessieAqua

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感谢有你陪伴的那些年

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“与老友傻乐相伴，莫大幸哉！”——拉尔夫·瓦尔多·爱默生

When you’re a child, making friends does not require too much effort. Still, as much as I love children, I know that they can be very mean creatures. I know it first-hand, and as the sister to an adolescent girl, I am reminded of it often.
童年时，交朋友无需刻意便能做到。虽然很喜欢小孩，但我还是觉得他们有时候很自私。我就有个豆蔻年华的妹妹，因此深有体会。

But with similar schedules and mostly innocent oblivion, having the opportunity to make friends is presented to us all the way through our formative years. And somewhere along the way, if we’re lucky we can make really good friends, who when we reach adulthood, start to feel like old friends.
可是，成长时期的相似经历和单纯懵懂却又为我们提供了诸多交友机会，而且幸运的话，或许我们还能遇到知己，一起走向成年，形若老友。

There are many friends that will come into your life – some you will passively lose touch with, some will become more like acquaintances; and yet still, some you will actively choose to no longer be friends with. It’s a reality that we begin to realize in our collegiate years and it continues beyond those years. But your old friends seem to stick around, and no matter how near or far they are, they continue to be a part of your life.
人一生中会遇到各种各样的朋友——有些渐渐就失去了联系，有些会变得越来越亲密，而有些则被我们主动从朋友名单中删除。这一事实不仅存在于学生时代，更将延续到以后的岁月。但是，不论离得近还是远，老朋友似乎总能在你身边，已然成为你生活中不可或缺的部分。

From old friends we learn how much we grow. They’re the people who’ve usually witnessed everything from our major accomplishments to our innocuous mistakes, to the moments we’re least proud of. They told us to do better and sometimes they forced us to do better. And we know that if we’re happy with who we’ve become, they played a role in that process. From old friends we recognize that life and people and things aren’t meant to stay the same.
我们从老朋友身上看到自己的成长。老朋友对我们无所不知：从我们取得的重大成就到我们所犯的细小错误，乃至我们甚感窘尬的糗事。老朋友鼓励、甚至逼着我们做得更好；如果我们当真成长得不错的话，那也是因为老朋友一直在敦促我们。我们从老朋友身上看到，生活以及人和事不可能一直保持不变。

There is a freedom that comes with old friends that newer friendships can sometimes fail to bring. There are no impressions to be made with people who know you well. There are few filters to send your thoughts through as you engage in conversation. There is a great comfort that comes with knowing that a friend has loved you for a long time; and that this person who doesn’t have to, continues to love you anyway.
老朋友带来的自在感绝不是新朋友能比的。老朋友对你知根知底，因此你不必刻意留下好印象。和老朋友谈话，总能时不时地心有灵犀一点通。只要想想有这么一个人，一直以来甚或以后都无条件爱着你，是多么令人欣慰！

With old friends there is often great laughter about the shared history of your pasts. And in your youth, pasts are often filled with many playful instants but also careless choices. There is a solemn recollection of the difficult periods that you have been through. There is an understanding of how you came to be who you came to be.
和老朋友回忆你们过去的往事总能逗起欢声笑语。年轻时有着太多有趣的瞬间，也少不了莽撞的选择。那些你们共同经历的艰难时期，充满了凝重嘘唏的记忆。你清楚自己是怎样一步一步走到现在的。

With old friends, you realize true friendships are difficult to create, to cultivate, and to hold onto. And the profound gratitude that you have for having a friend long enough to call them an “old friend,” feels wonderful.
因为老朋友，你懂得真正的友情是多么难能可贵、多么不易呵护维持。能有这样弥久珍贵的“老朋友”，你心存感激、备感美好。

Old friends hold a mirror in front of us and allow us to see how far we’ve come, and how far we still have to go to be the person we can be. Old friends show us a reflection of all the parts that we still need to change, and some of the parts we’ll hopefully never change. Old friends remind us that the past was both good and bad, that the future is something to look forward to, while keeping us grounded in the present. And no matter the passage of time, when we’re with our old friends, we have a feeling of home – a place where we can be stupid with people who love us.
老朋友犹如镜子，提醒我们走过的路以及为了实现目标而要征服的路程；老朋友指正我们所有亟待改变的地方，哪怕有些我们或许永远都改变不了；老朋友使我们明白过去有苦有乐，未来值得期盼，而现在才最该脚踏实地去珍惜。不论时光如何流逝，只要老朋友在身边，我们都会有家的感觉——在那里，我们可以和至亲至爱的人一起发傻一起欢乐。

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JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
举报 只看该作者 40楼  发表于: 2014-09-06 0

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坚持做自己很难？生活是你的选择！

When it comes to being yourself, there can be a lot of pressure from the outside world as it tries to influence who you are. Living in a society that is constantly developing, it’s important for you to always be yourself from the inside out.

在你想要坚持做自己的时候，外部世界中可能会有很多压力，试图对你造成影响。生活在这样一个持续发展的社会中，由内而外发自内心的真正做自己，这一点很重要。
When you deeply know yourself and the boundaries that you have set, you are more likely to experience a fulfilling and rewarding life. Without knowing yourself and establishing those boundaries, you can easily be pushed around and end up on a dirt path.

当你深刻理解了自己和你设定的那些界限，你就更有可能经历有意义很值得的生活。如果不了解自己，不去设定这些界限，你就很容易任人摆布，最后的结局可能是在一条泥泞的小路上徘徊。
You have the option of taking the path that is broad or taking the path that is narrow. You can either conform to what life wants you to be, or have the courage to remain true to yourself throughout the years.

选择宽阔的大路还是狭窄的小道，这是你的选择。是遵循生活想要你变成的样子，还是鼓起勇气坚持多年真我，这也是你自己的选择。
It’s definitely a challenge to have a strong sense of self when we are constantly getting distracted and being influenced by the media and society’s way of life. But if you want to reach your fullest potential in life, it all starts with being yourself.

想要拥有强烈的自我意识绝对是个挑战，因为我们总会被媒体和社会生活方式影响和分心。但如果你想要让自己的生活发挥最大的潜能，首先要做的就是自己。
Why should you always be yourself? Because you will:

为什么你要一直做自己？因为你会：
1. Live in alignment with your values and beliefs.

过符合你的价值观和信念的生活
Being yourself is all about knowing what you believe in and the values that you live by. When you are not yourself, you will take on the values and beliefs of others.

做自己，是关于你相信什么，是关于你生活中所遵循的价值。但你不再是你自己，你就只会接受别人的价值观和信念。
2. Establish your own identity.

建立你的身份
No matter what happens in your life, you will always know who you are. There will be times where you may feel lost or distracted, but if you have your own identity you’ll be able to get back on the right path.

不管生活中发生什么，你总是会知道自己是谁。也许会有觉得迷失和分心的时候，但如果你有自己的身份认知，你就能回到正确的道路上。
3. Build courage.

鼓起勇气
It takes a great amount of courage when you decide to take the path that goes against the crowd. The reason why the majority of people take the broad path is because it’s easy. It’s easy to just follow the crowd.

当你决定与大众背道而驰，走向你选择的道路是，你需要很大的勇气，这也算为什么大部分人会选择宽阔大道的原因，因为很容易，只要从众即可。
4. Establish boundaries.

设定边界
When you are always yourself, you know what your limits are and the boundaries that you have set for yourself. If you are always yourself, you are more likely to be aware when people start taking advantage of you.

当你一直做自己 ，你就会自己到自己的极限和你为自己设定的边界了。如果你一直做自己，当有人开始利用你时你很有可能会很警觉发现。
5. Find focus and direction.

找到重心和方向
When you stay true to who you are, you are more likely to know the goals you want to accomplish and how to go about accomplishing them. You are able to stay focused and know which direction to take in order for you to accomplish your goals.

当你保持真我，你更有可能知道自己想要完成的目标和如何完成他们。你会保持专注，也知道为了实现目标，你需要朝着什么方向努力。
No matter what you experience in life, the only person that will always remain constant is you.

不管你在生活中经历了什么，一直保持不变的那个人就是你自己。

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JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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举报 只看该作者 39楼  发表于: 2014-09-06 0

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母亲给孩子的人生四课

School started yesterday and my first grader, Sweet P, is now a second grader and I am no longer allowed to walk her to the bus stop. But I can, I am told, stand at the bottom of the driveway and watch her ride by. I am also welcome to wave and she may wave back.
新学期又开始了，我的孩子也该上2年级了，我不能再送她到汽车站达车上学了。我唯一能做的是在路口等待载着她的公车开过。我会对她招手，她也对我招手。

I miss her already. She's headed into another new adventure. And so I am I. Life is like that. Expansive, with new skills to develop, new lessons to learn.
我停止不了对女儿的想念。我知道她这是她成长路上新的探索，对我而言又何尝不是呢？人生本来如此，无论在那个阶段，我们都需要不断学习。

Today I'm thinking about some of the lessons I am teaching my daughter.
今天，我想起了我教女儿成长的一些知识。

These are the basics. They are my lessons, too.
这些知识很基础，然而对于我来说却也是众生收益的。

Lesson #1 -- Be kind, even when the other kid doesn't deserve it.
第一课——友善，无论对谁都要有颗友善的心

Kindness and compassion, Sweet P, can change the world and often it's the people who seem the least deserving who need both the most.
我亲爱的宝贝，友善和富有同情心可以改变世界。很多人貌似冷酷，事实上他们也许是最需要友善和同情的。

One day, when you were in preschool, I watched you through the narrow little window in the door to your classroom and saw a punk kid knock you over. Every cell in me wanted to bust through that door, leap over the little table, grab that kid by the back of his overalls and haul him off to juvie.
有一天，我到幼儿园来看你，我透过窗户看到一个小孩把你撞翻了。我好想冲进你的教室，跳过那些小桌子椅子，从背后抓起那个撞翻你的小男孩，把他送进少管所。

But, he was three and you were three and I thought, well, maybe a little push doesn't qualify as strike one in the criminal justice system's penal code. I'm also pretty sure I couldn't actually leap over the table. So, I let it go.
但是，我又想，她和你一样，也才三岁。也许孩子间的推推嚷嚷不至于将其定义为犯罪吧。与此同时，我也不能真的冲进教室。所以，我选择了放手。

I'm learning to do that a lot in this life, to let go. It doesn't help to hang on to the hurt or judgment. It doesn't work to blame or criticize. Those approaches only serve to keep you stuck. But compassion is freeing. It uplifts both you and the person you are sharing it with. When you act with compassion you are living from your highest potential and connecting with your greatest self. The more you can do that, the better you'll feel in this life.
在我的生活里，我也尝试过很多次试着放手。虽然，学会放手不会减轻生活里的伤痛或是改变什么，也不会让你的情绪得以发泄，也许你任然会被生活所困。然而，富有同情心是一种释放。会让你和感受到你同情心的人得到精神上的洗礼。当你对一切都附有同情心时，你会发挥自己最大潜力。你也会在生活终觉得自己有无限的正能量。

Lesson #2 -- Don't let others determine how you feel about your life.
第二课——不要让被人为你的人生做决定

When you are accountable for your life -- and all the actions and emotions and beliefs that come with it -- Sweet P, you get to create your experience. Sure, you're going to encounter snarky people and disappointing outcomes, but you always, always get to decide how you'll respond to those circumstances.
对你自己的生活负责——亲爱的宝贝，你生活里的行为，你的情绪和信仰都要对自己负责任。当然，在人生中，你会遇到很刻薄的人和很无奈的事，但是你要做那个对自己所处情况有担当的人。

They don't have to be setbacks. Don't shy away from doing what you want to because you're afraid, or people are difficult, or it feels too hard. Instead, lead with compassion and then get busy creating the experience you want.
自己做决定不见得会失败。不要因为害怕而不敢做决定。每个人情况不一样，感觉也不一样。所以，用你的有第一课做引导，开创自己的人生。

Your dreams aren't dependent on anyone else -- though many people will influence them along the way. Be open, but be determined. You get to decide how to live this moment and then the next. When you know this, anything is possible.
实现梦想不能依靠任何人——尽管在这个过程里很多人会影响你。要从谏如流，但自己拿主意。要明确你的近期目标和长远目标。当目标明确了，梦想就会照进现实。

Lesson #3 -- Say "thank you." Slowly. Always.
第三课——学会说谢谢

Feel free to practice this lesson around the house. Try this:
宝贝，你可以在自己的房间里练习这一课, 你可以这样说：

"Thank you for dinner, Mama."
“谢谢你为我做晚餐，妈妈。”

"Thank you for finding my coat behind the couch."
“谢谢你在沙发后面找到我的衣服”

"Thank you for not wearing your pajamas to the bus stop, Mama."
“谢谢你没有穿穿睡衣来公车站接我，妈妈。”

When someone helps you out, stop, look them in the eye and say "thank you." This allows you to connect with the others. It will also remind you of all the good stuff you have in your life.
当有人帮助了你，你要放下手中的事，真诚的看着他们的眼睛道谢。这是你和别人讲话的礼貌。也可以提醒你自己人生中存在美好的事物。

It's easy to get sidetracked and whiny about all the things going wrong, but thank you is a way of remembering all that is right.
当事情不顺利的时候，我们容易走弯路，也容易变得喋喋不休的抱怨。但是，当你感激别人的时候，也提醒了你自己什么是对的。

We can have disappointment and sadness and still appreciate the beauty of the leaves. We can be angry and frustrated and be grateful for the people who love us. When you practice gratitude often, constantly, consistently, your days will be brighter.
我们有时候会失望，有事后会伤心，但任然期望美好的事物；我们有时会愤怒，有事会沮丧，然欣慰还有爱我么的家人。但你一直坚持感激这些美好的事物存在，你每天就会过得更阳光。

Lesson #4 -- Be who you are, it is enough.
第四课——做你自己

Second grade is going to have some messy moments, no doubt. No matter how old you get, you'll always have times when you feel inadequate.
毫无疑问，二年级会遇到比比一年级更多的难题。但无论你多大，在你没准备好以前，总会有时间。

But if you show up, do your best and be who you are -- I promise you, it will be enough. You have all that you need to recover when your feelings are hurt, you have all the talent and imagination and intelligence you need to make a positive contribution -- you already do it every day. You are amazing. We all are. Look for that in yourself. And when you feel confused and hurt and can't see your own awesome -- come on home. I'll hold you and hug you. It really can be that simple.
但如果你想展示你自己，你应该做到最好，并且保持本真。我想你保证，这样就足够了。相信我，当你受到伤害，你会学会自我康复；当你想奋斗，你的聪明才智会帮你实现理想。你每一天的成长都告诉我，你是多么不可思议的一个孩子。你要学会看到自己的优点。当你在生活中困惑了，受伤了或是不能欣赏到自己的优势了。亲爱的宝贝，你只需要回家。我会抱你在怀中，为你排忧解难。就这么简单。

It is powerful to sit with the ones who love you. Find those people. Care for them. Go to them and make room for them to come to you. Know that real love isn't meant to hurt.
坐在爱你的人身旁你会永远无穷力量。同时，用爱帮助那些需要帮助的人，要知道，真爱无敌。

These are the basic lessons, Sweet P. When we stay close to them they help us find peace, joy and a harmony in life that carries far beyond second grade.
这些都是人生中最基本的知识我的孩子。当你理解这些真谛，你的生活就会安详快乐，带你走过年年岁岁。

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JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

等级: 热心会员
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25岁才算成年 伙伴们勿忘青春尚在

New guidance for psychologists will acknowledge that adolescence now effectively runs up until the age of 25 for the purposes of treating young people. So is this the new cut-off point for adulthood?
心理学家新指南中指出，在治疗年轻人时，青春期的划分截止到25岁结束。这是否意味着25岁是成年的新分界点呢？

"The idea that suddenly at 18 you're an adult just doesn't quite ring true," says child psychologist Laverne Antrobus, who works at London's Tavistock Clinic.“
“认为满18岁就进入成年其实是不恰当的。”伦敦塔维斯托克诊所的儿童心理学家拉弗-安特罗伯斯表示。

"My experience of young people is that they still need quite a considerable amount of support and help beyond that age."
“从我和年轻人接触的经历来看，18岁以上的年轻人仍然需要很多支持与帮助。”

"We are becoming much more aware and appreciating development beyond [the age of 18] and I think it's a really good initiative," says Antrobus, who believes we often rush through childhood, wanting our youngsters to achieve key milestones very quickly.
“我们也越来越关注18岁以上年轻人的成长，我觉得这是一个很棒的创举。”安特罗伯斯说。在她看来，人们太急于摆脱童年，巴不得在青年时期就成就大业。

The new guidance is to help ensure that when young people reach the age of 18 they do not fall through the gaps in the health and education system. The change follows developments in our understanding of emotional maturity, hormonal development and particularly brain activity.
新指南旨在帮助年满18岁的年轻人跨过健康与教育这道坎。此次变更重在强调对情感成熟、荷尔蒙发展、尤其是大脑活动的理解。

"Neuroscience has made these massive advances where we now don't think that things just stop at a certain age, that actually there's evidence of brain development well into early twenties and that actually the time at which things stop is much later than we first thought," says Antrobus.“
“神经科学已经取得重大进步。现在看来，有些问题并不是到了某个年龄就会自动停止的；事实表明，在二十出头的年纪，大脑还处于成长状态，定型时期远比人们原先认为的晚。”安特罗伯斯说。

There are three stages of adolescence - early adolescence from 12-14 years, middle adolescence from 15-17 years and late adolescence from 18 years and over.
青春期有三个阶段：12-14岁为早期，15-17岁为中期，18岁以上为后期。

Neuroscience has shown that a young person's cognitive development continues into this later stage and that their emotional maturity, self-image and judgement will be affected until the prefrontal cortex of the brain has fully developed.
神经科学表明，年轻人的认知发展会一直持续到后期阶段，而在大脑前额皮层完全发育前，他们的情感成熟、自我形象和判断都会受到影响。

Alongside brain development, hormonal activity is also continuing well into the early twenties says Antrobus.
安特罗伯斯还说，除了大脑发展，荷尔蒙代谢也会一直持续到二十出头的年纪。

"A number of children and young people I encounter between the age of 16 and 18, the flurry of hormonal activity in them is so great that to imagine that's going to settle down by the time they get to 18 really is a misconception," says Antrobus.“
“许多我见过的16-18岁年轻人的荷尔蒙代谢都异常活跃，如果认为他们满18岁就会自动安稳消停，那可大错特错 了。”安特罗伯斯说。

She says that some adolescents may want to stay longer with their families because they need more support during these formative years and that it is important for parents to realise that all young people do not develop at the same pace.
她还说，有些青少年希望能多跟家人呆在一起，那是因为在成长定型阶段，他们需要更多支持；所以父母应该明白，青春期成长是因 人而异的。

But is there any danger we could be breeding a nation of young people reluctant to leave adolescence behind? TV sitcoms are littered with such comic stereotypes of juvenile adults
但是，如果下一代都迟迟不愿离开青春期，那会有什么样的弊端呢？情景喜剧中到处都能看到这种诙谐的长不大的人。

Then there are those characters who want to break away from their overbearing or protective parents or guardians and reach adulthood, but struggle to cut the family ties.
当然，也有年轻人渴望摆脱过于约束或宠溺的父母或监护人，希望尽快跨入成年，可也只能选择脱离家庭关系。

Frank Furedi, professor of sociology at the University of Kent, says we have infantilized young people and this has led to a growing number of young men and women in their late 20s still living at home.
弗兰克-福瑞迪是肯特大学的社会学教授，他说：人们总是把年轻人当孩子看待，结果造成很多年轻人到了20大几岁还住在父母家里。

"Often it's claimed it's for economic reasons, but actually it's not really for that," says Furedi. "There is a loss of the aspiration for independence and striking out on your own. When I went to university it would have been a social death to have been seen with your parents, whereas now it's the norm.
“通常借口总是经济原因，但其实并非如此，” 福瑞迪说，“对独立自主、自立生活的渴望大大削弱。我上大学那会儿，要是还跟父母住一起会被人耻笑，但现在这种情况已经屡见不鲜了。”

"So you have this kind of cultural shift which basically means that adolescence extends into your late twenties and that can hamper you in all kinds of ways, and I think what psychology does is it inadvertently reinforces that kind of passivity and powerlessness and immaturity and normalises that."
“所以才会出现这种文化转变——青春期甚至延长到了二十大几岁，而这有可能妨碍个人成长。我认为心理学无形中强化了这种被动、无助和不成熟，并且使这种现象普遍化。”

Furedi says that this infantilised culture has intensified a sense of "passive dependence" which can lead to difficulties in conducting mature adult relationships. There's evidence of this culture even in our viewing preferences.
福瑞迪还说，这种“孩子化”的文化加剧了“被动依赖”风气，给进入成熟成年期造成了困难。从人们的影视喜好上就能看出这种文化的盛行。

He does not agree that the modern world is far more difficult for young people to navigate.
福瑞迪并不认为现代社会已经艰难到让年轻人无法自立生存。

"I think that what it is, is not that the world has become crueller, it's just that we hold our children back from a very early age. When they're 11, 12, 13 we don't let them out on their own. When they're 14, 15, we hover all over them and insulate them from real-life experience. We treat university students the way we used to treat school pupils, so I think it's that type of cumulative effect of infantilisation which is responsible for this."
“我觉得问题并不是世界变得越来越残酷，而是我们从小就把孩子呵护得太紧。小孩到了11、12岁时还不敢放开让他们独自外出；到了14、15岁时，我们更是严加防范，把他们与现实生活隔离开来。我们现在对待大学生的方式就像以前对待小学生一样。所以在我看来，这就是‘孩子化’风气的症结所在。”
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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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举报 只看该作者 37楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0

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6件简单小事让生活更有意义

Let’s look back all these years you’ve gone through, what have you done for your life? Are you spending your time wisely to make your life worthwhile? Neal Wu shared some ways we should do to make our short time of life meaningful on Quora, find out what you need to do next:
让我们回顾一下这些年来你在生活中都经历了什么？你都做了什么？你做到了充分有效利用时间让你的生活过得有价值有意义吗？尼尔-吴（Neal Wu）在Quora网站上分享了一些让我们的生活在短时间内充满意义的方法，对照一下看看你接下来需要做到的：

1. Make friends as opposed to networking
交朋友但不只是社交

Your friends will go a lot further than the professional contacts you make, especially since only one of the two groups is invested in your personal happiness.
多和你的朋友沟通交流比你联系专业人士交流探讨要强，尤其是专业人士和朋友圈子这两组人群，只有你的朋友圈子才是你个人幸福的投资方向。

2. Become an expert by learning as much as you can and deeply seeking out the things you are curious about
尽量通过多学习的方式成为专家，并对自己所好奇的方面执着地探求

Find the things you enjoy and practice the skills you want to develop. If you can achieve expertise then it will be easy to obtain an audience.
找到你喜欢做的事情并争取达到熟能生巧的地步。如果你能达到专业的高度，那么就会很容易赢得观众。

3. Volunteer to help out those less fortunate
自愿帮助那些不幸的人

In the process you will gain a ton of new perspective and will better understand other people’s real problems. In a society that always looks upward, these people are being forgotten easily.
在这个过程中你会获得多个新的视角，会更加理解别人所遇到的实际问题。在我们当今这个非常势力的社会中，这个人群很容易被遗忘。

4. Become as independent as possible
尽量自立

Even though you work in a big company, you should constantly make small steps to reduce your dependence on your job. Write a book, build an app, or start a small business on the side. Release your inner entrepreneur.
即使你在一家大公司工作，你也应该经常做出小小的改变，减少依赖工作的程度，让自己不那么依赖这份工作。写本书、编个小程序或做个小生意。让你内心的企业家潜质充分释放出来。

5. Don’t spend too much time worrying about your personal brand
不要在你的个人品牌力上浪费太多时间

Accomplish things, and the recognition will follow.
把事情做好，大家心中都有一杆秤。

6. Stop treating life as a competition and do things for their own sake
别把生活当成比赛，做事只是为了自身利益

Genuine interest should be what drives you to improve yourself, rather than a desire to beat others. Find a community of people who are interested in the same things as you do, and drive each other to keep improving.
你是真心想着要完善自己才做的，并不是希望打败别人。和感兴趣的人一起做，这样会互相带动、精益求精。

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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如何原谅那些伤害过你的人 How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt you before

Man is a social animal and ought to socialize, but with company around, there are times when egos tend to mingle along as well. This could result in exchanges of words that could put a strain on relationships. Continuous bashing of words with an individual could turn ugly and lead to hatred.
人都是社交动物，无法离开社会而生存，然而一旦周围有了同伴，自尊心往往会作祟，这就会导致言语交际时引发的紧张关系。持续用言语打击别人可能会导致关系恶化，甚至招来仇恨。

The impact of hatred
仇恨带来的影响

Hating someone is injurious to one’s own health since it causes anger within, and this annoyance can take a toll on one’s health if it builds too high.
讨厌一个人对自身的健康也有坏处，因为体内总有一股怒气，如果积压的怒气过多就会对身体带来伤害了。

Why Forgive?
为什么选择原谅？

Mental balance applies towards good health. Since health is wealth, forgiveness is the way to go. Forgiving someone is like having a mental balance by letting go of any resentment or grudges towards an individual, which will help to clear the conscience and is very crucial for resolving relationships.
精神的平和对可以带来健康。健康是无价之宝，那为何不选择原谅呢。原谅别人就好比放下一些怨恨，达到精神的平和，可以净化心灵同时解决关系危机。

There are a couple of C’s involved in burying the hatchet:
下面这些C字关键词是你“放下仇恨”时应该做到的：

Categorize
归类

Many a time, we are not aware of why we hate someone and continue to walk on a path that disturbs one’s mental and physical well-being. We should be able to recognize the pattern that arises when we come across a certain human being. Once we are able to categorize the pattern, we can move to the next step.
很多时候，我们都没有意识到到底为什么讨厌这个人，却仍固执的怨恨着，扰乱着自己的精神和身体健康。遇到某个人的时候我们需要能够归类到底该采取何种方式对待他，一旦能够归类了，我们就可以到下一个步骤。

Cause
缘由

We should try to search within ourselves with regard to what and how the individual has hurt us, and why we hate them. Finding a cause helps us to bring closure within ourselves, and we can open up to discussion within the self, and even with the person whom we hate.
我们要从自身出发找出到底这个人是如何以及怎么伤害到我们的，以及我们为什么讨厌他们。找到根源能让自己停止纠结下去，我们可以和别人甚至和讨厌的那个人去开诚布公的讨论。

Confront
面对

Coming face-to-face with the person whom one hates is a challenge, but confronting the individual will lead to peace of mind and a sound sleep at night. Brave up and face that person.
和讨厌的人面对面的确是个挑战，但面对别人时，头脑会趋于冷静，晚上也会睡个好觉。所以鼓起勇气去面对这个人吧。

Conversation
对话

Once in the presence of the person who is hated, start a conversation and communicate about what bothers you. Being frank about what and how that person’s behavior irks oneself will help both discuss issues, and will eventually lead to clarification.
如果你讨厌的人出现了，不妨两个人好好聊聊，一起说说到底什么惹到你了。坦白的说说这个人的什么行为如何惹到了你，这对讨论以及最终解除误会都有很大的帮助。

Contrite
悔悟

Apologizing to the disliked person can do wonders for one’s physical and mental being, bringing happiness and contentment. Keeping one’s egos aside and expressing remorse is the key to forgiveness.
对不喜欢的那个人道歉对人的精神和身体会带来幸福和满足感，很神奇的哦！把什么自尊放到一边去，表达出悔恨才是原谅的核心。

Be Compassionate with yourself
对自己有恻隐之心

Once you forgive a person, be patient and kind to your self. Time is a big healer, thus give time to heal—physically and emotionally. Express your pain and anxiety, and do not keep it bottled up. Appreciate the goodness of people around you, and visualize a new life with positive energy each day. This will help to shape each day free of pain and suffering.
一旦原谅了别人，对自己有点耐心，也对自己好一点。时间是伟大的治愈师，会慢慢治愈你身体和精神上的创伤。把自己的痛苦和焦虑都表达出来，不要憋在心里。感激周围人对你的好，每天用积极的态度看待新的生活。这样能有效帮助你慢慢从痛苦中解脱出来。

Caution
谨慎

Once you made amends, set your boundaries to avoid repeating history so that you do not get hurt again. Be sure to keep a good distance from the person who triggered chaos in your mind and made you lose your sleep at night. Since we cannot change an individual, it’s smart to keep away from them.
一旦有了教训，你需要设定底线来避免历史重演，这样才能保证你不会再受到伤害。和那些会让你头脑发晕失眠的人保持点距离吧。既然我们无法改变一个人，不如聪明点远离他们。

Humans want to walk on the forbidden path, and there are chances that we can get attracted to people who have raised our blood pressure previously. Thus, retrain your thinking by wishing well about the person whom you just forgave. Hope the best for him while being intelligent and making wise decisions with respect to your mental well-being.
人们总喜欢选择走不该走的路，也有可能我们会爱上先前让我们血管爆棚的人。不管怎样，换个思考方式，祝福那个你刚刚原谅的人吧。为了自己的精神健康，真心去祝福他真的是智慧和明智的决定。

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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摧毁意志力的四样东西 Four Things That Undermine Your Willpower

Willpower is the ability to inhibit an impulse or desire. It is threatened when an immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term goal. We want to eat the doughnut, put another dollar in the slot machine, have one more drink, or tell off the boss, but know in the long run these may not be the best decisions. Pigging out right now will create problems for me later, but I really want to, so what should I do? Sometimes you cave, other times you hold strong. Willpower is not a constant. It is not the case that you either have it or you don’t, rather it is the case that sometimes you have it and sometimes you don’t. The big question is this: what makes us cave and what makes us strong? In this post I will discuss the 4 most important reasons we cave. By avoiding these traps, you will more easily exercise your willpower, which will move you closer to achieving what you really want in life.
意志力就是能抑制冲动和欲望的能力。当短暂的满足感与长期的目标对抗时，那是很威胁人的。我们很想吃油炸圈饼，往自助售货机上再投一美元，再来一杯饮料，或者指派老板为你服务。一时放纵大吃特吃会给你带来很多后续问题，但当时确实忍不住。那我该怎么办呐？有时你会放纵，有时会意志坚定，意志力不是永恒不变的。它不是一件你一直拥有的或者一直未曾拥有过的东西，而是有时你能掌控它，有时却失去它。关键的问题是什么让我们变得堕落而又是什么让我们坚定。在这篇文章里，我想谈谈使我们堕落的关键的四个原因。通过避免这些陷阱，你会更容易增强自己的意志力，更易实现生活中我们所追求的目标。

1. Psychological Pain—Stress, depression, anger, and anxiety are the “pain” emotions. Just like physical pain, we are highly motivated to escape psychological pain. If you touch a hot stove, you will immediately and instinctively withdraw your hand. We just as readily and instinctively withdraw from psychological pain, only it is never as easy as just removing your hand from heat. Immediate pleasures are very alluring in moments of pain because they take on one additional purpose—they take the edge off the pain. Pain doubles the power of immediate pleasure, making you very vulnerable to failures of willpower. The research literature consistently shows that psychological pain is the most significant factor affecting loss of control across all pleasure-seeking behaviors, whether it is drinking, smoking, eating, gambling, sex, drugs, etc. If you have a vice, pain will put you in the car and drive you to it. If you know someone who is spinning out of control, you can bet they are engulfed in pain that they are desperately attempting to escape. If you are stuck in a cycle of psychological pain, focus on getting to the source of your pain or else it will gradually erode your self-control.
1、心理上的伤痛——压力，绝望，愤怒，焦虑是感情上的几种伤痛。正如身体上的伤痛一样，我们极力地去避免心灵上的伤痛。如果你无意触碰到烤炉，你会立即本能地缩回手。同样，我们只是本能地从心理痛苦中抽身而去，但是永远不可能像遇热而收缩回来的手那么简单。短暂的欢愉是非常吸引人的，因为它们被附加了额外的目的—-消除痛苦。痛苦能成倍地增加你对那短暂快乐的渴望。在你毫无戒备的时候趁虚而入，毅力巨无从谈起。调查一致认为，心理上的痛苦是大多数人在寻欢作乐这些行为上失控的主要原因，像酗酒，抽烟，贪吃，赌博，滥性，吸毒等。如果你染上这些恶习，痛苦会使你失去理智，并让你陷入其中不可自拔。如果你认识的某些人茫然不知所措，失去控制，你可以确信他们已经完全被痛苦所吞噬，并且他们在拼命地挣扎逃脱。如果你深陷情感的苦海中，那就赶紧集中精力找到痛苦的根源，否则，它会慢慢侵蚀你的自制力。

2. Deprivation—Deprivation is a prolonged state of being restricted from something that is highly desirable. The old adage, absence makes the heart grow fonder, is true in many senses. This is precisely why strict diets that have forbidden foods almost always fail. Eventually, we cave. Why? Deprivation increases the power of what we desire. The tension between the immediate pleasure and long-term consequence tips in favor of the immediate pleasure, making that negotiation more difficult. What to do? Moderation is key but be aware of the fine line between moderation and indulgence. Moderation doesn’t mean that you should consume every unhealthy food you can think of in moderation (e.g., donuts, pizza, cheeseburgers, candy, cookies, etc) because if one truly ate this way they could be eating unhealthy foods all day long. The object is to practice moderation for the entirety of unhealthy foods. Eat healthy almost always, but put nothing off limits or you risk empowering your temptations. (Note that moderation often does not work in the case of addictive behaviors. In that case, abstinence may be necessary for feelings of deprivation to eventually cease.)
2、剥夺。剥夺就是被限制，被强制远离内心所极度渴望的事物的一种持久的状态。有句格言这样说：“越得不到，你内心就越渴望得到”。在很多情况下，经验证是正确的。这就是严格的节食方案通常失败的原因。最终我们还是屈服了，堕落了。为什么呐？禁止令增强了我们追求的欲望。短暂的愉悦与长久的后果间的拉力更倾向与即时的放松，这使意志力增强的这个过程更为困难。究竟该该怎么办呐？把握适度是关键，留意适度与放任之间的这个界限。适度可不是放任你吃光你只要能想得到的所有垃圾食品，(例如油炸圈饼，乳酪汉堡，糖果，饼干等)。因为如果一个人以这种方式去饮食，那他整天都消耗掉这么多没营养的食品。我们的目标就是锻炼能在这些没营养的东西面前保持一个度。经常吃健康食品，但是偶尔也可以把所有的限制抛之脑后，或者是好好地享用引诱你的那些食品(注意适度在上了瘾的行为上是不起作用的。在那种情况下，为了达到最后的目的，节制是很有必要的。)

3. Availability—Resisting chocolate cake is a cinch when you are stranded on a desert island. I’m a willpower pro on a desert island! When temptations are not available, willpower is a nonissue. Nobody eats ice cream they don’t have. Design your life like that desert island, by distancing yourself from the things that push your pleasure buttons. Get them out of the house. The presence of temptations not only increases your failure rate but also distracts you by forcing you to spend energy on a constant mental struggle when your attention could be better spent on…well…life!
3、可行性。当你被困在荒岛上时，忍受巧克力蛋糕的诱惑是容易的事。我赞成“孤岛训练法”来增强个人意志力。当诱惑不存在时，毅力就无从谈起。没人会吃他们不可能拥有的冰淇淋。假设你在荒岛上那样来规划自己的生活。疏远那些刺激你快乐神经的东西，把他们清理出去。因为那些诱惑的存在，不仅会提高你自制失败的几率，还会使你分心，通过强迫你经常在心理斗争上花费精力，而你的这些精力若花在生活上，会让你过上更好的生活。

4. Rationalization and Bargaining—This one can be the trickiest to overcome. We tell ourselves our best lies. And we are the biggest believers of our own BS. I mentioned above that willpower is when the immediate pleasure is in competition with a long-term consequence. We use rationalization to talk ourselves out of that being the current state. We argue that there will be no negative long-term consequence so there is no need to resist the current temptation. What is one doughnut? A few drinks isn’t going to hurt anything! I’m not suggesting you live a life that is lacking in indulgences, but be careful that rationalization can be used at too many decision points, slowly eroding your ability to ever resist. Bargaining works the same way. We strike a deal with ourselves that we will work to offset the consequences later. “I’m going to eat and drink too much tonight, but it will be ok because I’m going to workout extra this weekend.” If you find yourself often promising to clean up your messes later, you are bargaining. The problem is that “later” is also filled with temptations. The messes compound and the time to clean them up just never comes. I recommend paying all debts in advance. If you know you are going to consume 1,000 more calories at dinner than usual, make a plan to have accounted for it before the time comes (a reasonable plan that involves both exercise and diet, not by starving yourself in advance). By planning in advance, there is no issue of willpower, no need to bargain, and no mess to clean up. The good news is that each and every one of us has control over our willpower—if we want it. Take control of your willpower or else it may take control of you.
4、合理化和讨价还价。这一条是最难克服的。我们经常会给自己找很多借口。其实我们自己最了解自己。上述已提到：“毅力是一时之乐与后续结果较量的产物。所以我们采取合理化方法告诉自己要走出那个难以抉择的困境。我们有时会与自己内心做斗争。认为没有消极的持续长久的后果，所以我们没必要拒绝现时的诱惑与快乐。一个油炸圈饼能怎样？偶尔的饮酒不会伤害我们的身子。我不是要求你们过没有纵欢的生活，但是要注意合理的松懈不能被频繁地作为你的借口，它会慢慢抵消你的能力直至不在反抗。讨价还价以同样的方式起作用。常与自己妥协，经常会这样安慰自己，先放纵一下，之后再把这个损失弥补过来。今晚我要大吃特吃，那没事的，因为周末要加班。如果你发现自己经常给自己许诺：“我之后会好好清理脏乱不堪的杂物。”那么，你就是在讨价还价。但问题是之后的生活也将充满无穷的诱惑。混乱妥协与你，但是清理它们的时候永远不会到。我建议提前还清自己欠下的债。如果想在晚饭的时候消耗掉1000卡路里，那就在那之前就做好准备。(可行的计划包括锻炼和节食，但不能让自己挨饿)提前做好准备，就无所谓意志力的强弱了。也没必要去跟自己讨价还价，也没有一大堆的杂务等你去处理。长而久之，有一个好消息就是每个人都可以实现自我控制，只要我们愿意，自己去控制自己的毅力，否则你将受制于它。

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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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珍爱生活远离干扰 浪费生命的9件事

Are you sitting down while reading this? Well that could be shortening your lifespan.
你是安心坐下来读这段文字的么？好吧，这真的浪费了生命。

Let's be honest: From the moment we're born, we're all dying just as we're living. But certain mundane things we do every day may actually be helping us get there faster. None of this means we should even try to eliminate these behaviors from our lives entirely, but it's proof that overdoing anything, even when seemingly innocuous, can have serious impacts on our health. Below we've rounded up 9 everyday things you're probably doing that could potentially shorten your lifespan:
这么说吧：从我们出生的那一刻开始，我们正在活着，也正在死去。但日常一些琐碎的事情也许会加速这个进程。这当然不意味着我们需要完全把这些事从生活中抽离开来，但证据显示，过多纠结于这些事情，哪怕看起来无关紧要，也会对健康造成影响。下面我们列出了9件也许你每天都做实际上是浪费生命的事情。

1. You're having a hard time finding love
你在苦苦追寻爱情

Having a difficult time finding a mate can shave off months of your life, while being single for prolonged periods of time could cost you a whole decade.
苦苦去寻求伴侣也许只会浪费几个月的时间，但单身可是会让你少活十年哦。

A study by Harvard Medical School found that communities with gender ratios skewing significantly more male or female caused the minority sex to have shorter lifespans. On top of all this, another study found that never getting married could increase risk of death over a lifetime by 32 percent, and led to the previously mentioned loss of a decade.
哈佛医学院的研究发现性别比率差距悬殊的社群中，占少数的性别一方寿命会变短。另外一个研究也发现不婚会增加32%的死亡风险，也就是差不多算起来少活十年左右。

2. You're sitting down for more than a few hours every day
一天坐好几个小时

Two whole years of your life could be cut just from sitting more than three hours a day. A study published in the JAMA Internal Medicine found that sitting for more than 11 hours a day increased the risk of death by 40 percent over the next three years, compared to sitting for under four hours a day. Time to get that stand-up desk.
一天坐着超过三小时，你的寿命就会减少2年。JAMA内部医学研究发现，和那些一天坐着不超过4小时的人相比，坐着超过11个小时的人在未来三年的死亡风险会增加30%。

3. You're neglecting your friends
你忽视你的朋友们

People with weak social connections were found to die at much higher rates than their counterparts, according to research by Brigham Young University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, which collected data from 148 different studies. The same researchers found that prolonged loneliness could be as bad for your lifespan as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
杨百翰大学和北卡罗来纳州大学教堂山分校从148个研究中总结发现，人际交往弱的人群似乎死亡率会更高。研究员同样发现孤独感对生命的坏影响不亚于一天吸十五根烟。

Elderly people with large circles of friends were found to be 22 percent less likely to die over a tested study period, and those social connections generally promote brain health in aging brains.
研究发现，有很多朋友的老人们在实验周期内的死亡率要下降22%，而社交从某种程度而言能够促进逐渐老化的脑部健康。

4. You're vegging out in front of your TV
你一直呆坐在电视前

Watching just two hours of television a day can lead to an increased risk of premature death, heart disease and Type 2 diabetes, according to Harvard researchers. The negative effects of watching television seem to overlap with the potential negative effects of sitting too much, but watching television seems to make the negative effects of sitting even worse. According to the New York Times, "every single hour of television watched after the age of 25 reduces the viewer’s life expectancy by 21.8 minutes.
哈佛研究发现，一天看超过两小时电视就会增加过早死、心脏病以及第二型糖尿病的风险。看电视的消极影响似乎和久坐的坏处重叠，但实际上看电视比单纯久坐带来的危害更大。《纽约时报》上的报道称，对于25岁以后的观众而言，每看一小时电视会减少他们21.8分钟的生命。

5. You're eating too much unhealthy food
你吃了太多不健康的食物

Perhaps this sounds obvious, but the truth is that so many of us continue to do it. As far as what foods to especially avoid, eating red meat seems to shorten life expectancy by as much as 20 percent when eating extra portions.
这个听起来很显而易见，但大多数人还是会去吃。有些食物是需要特别注意避免食用的，比如跟其他食物相比，多吃额外分量的红肉会缩短20%的生命。

6. You're still looking for a job
你还在找工作

Being unemployed can increase a person's risk of premature death by 63 percent, according to findings by Canadian researchers after analyzing 40 years of data from 20 million people in 15 countries.Another found that older people who lost their jobs during the recession could have seen their lifespan decrease by as many as three years.
加拿大研究员通过对15个国家2千万人群40年的调查发现，待业会增加63%过早死的风险。还有研究发现大萧条期间失业的老年人生命会缩短大概3年。

7. You're dealing with a long commute
你的上下班通勤很漫长

Commutes of about an hour have been found to increase stress and have been linked to the same negative effects as sitting. Long commutes also reduce the likelihood that individuals will consistently participate in health related activities.
一个小时的通勤时间会增加压力，和久坐带来的坏处不相上下。过远的上下班路途还会减少我们进行健康锻炼的可能性。

8. You're putting up with annoying co-workers
你在忍受烦人的同事

Missing out on strong connections with your co-workers can also potentially mean missing out on a longer life. According to researchers at Tel Aviv University, Peer social support, which could represent how well a participant is socially integrated in his or her employment context, is a potent predictor of the risk of all causes of mortality.
和同事没有建立良好的关系也可能意味着减少生命。以色列特拉维夫大学的研究员发现，同事们的社交支持，同时可以反映出个体在工作环境中的社交完整性，也是对死亡率产生影响的一部分原因所在。

9. You're not sleeping enough (or maybe too much?)
睡得不够（或睡太多？）

Harvard Medical School points out that research has shown that life expectancies significantly decrease in subjects who average less than five or more than nine hours a night.
哈佛医学院的研究表明，一天睡眠少于五小时或多于九小时会增加死亡率。

Most of us suffer from too little rather than too much sleep, but research suggests there truly is a sleep "sweet spot" -- at least if you're primarily concerned about living for as long as possible.
大部分人都是睡得太少，而非睡得太多，研究建议如果你真的希望自己能长寿的话，还是每天保证有个好觉吧。

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JessieAqua

ZxID：17264177

1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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举报 只看该作者 33楼  发表于: 2014-09-04 0
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周末心头飘阴霾 五方法抵抗周日综合症

In theory, the 62 hours between 6 p.m. on Friday evening and 8 a.m. on Monday morning are a blissful reprieve from the stress of the workweek. But even if you manage to leave work at work, the reality is that Sundays are often dominated by that sinking feeling that the workweek is looming.
理论上讲，周五晚上6:00到周一早上8:00，这62小时是缓解一周工作压力的美好时光。可实际上就算已在办公室完成了工作，沉重的工作感还是会在周末不时掠过心头。

The phenomenon is a real one -- 78 percent of respondents in a recent international Monster.com poll reported experiencing the so-called "Sunday Night Blues." And a whopping 47 percent said they get it "really bad." In the U.S., that number jumps to 59 percent.
这种现象千真万确——根据近期在国际Monster.com网站上的调查，78%答卷者表示有前述现象：即所谓的“周日综合症”。另有高达47%的答卷者表示自己的这种症状“非常严重”。在美国，该比率则为59%。

The Sunday Night Blues are created by a combination of realizing weekend fun is coming to an end and anticipating the beginning of five days of pressure, meaning it can strike even those who like their jobs. "Work is now spread out into home life with increasing demands because of email and the ability to work remotely," says Steven Meyers, professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, Ill. "Work has become more of a drain for many people than it was a decade or two ago. There's more to dread nowadays."
周日综合症是多方面造成的：一方面，人们意识到快乐周末即将结束；另一方面，人们感到接下来又得面对压力重重的工作日，就算原本喜欢工作的人也受不了。“随着电子邮件和远程工作的普及，工作已经渗透到了家庭生活。”伊利诺伊州芝加哥罗斯福大学心理学教授史蒂夫-迈尔斯说道。“相对于前几十年，现如今工作对很多人来说相当耗费精力，让人心生畏惧的事情太多了。”

But a case of the blues doesn't have to derail your Sunday. Below are five expert-approved strategies for beating that end-of-weekend anxiety.
不过，绝不能因为心情郁闷而毁了整个周末。下面五个专家级策略就有助于抵抗周末焦虑症。

1.Relax and distract.
放松并转移注意力。

Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to forget about it. "Feelings of anxiety and depression are most common when the person is not particularly busy," Meyers says. "So enjoyable activities that redirect your attention are especially important. Spending time with others, doing things that you find fun, exercising [and] devoting time to hobbies are all good ways to keep busy so that dread doesn't creep into your mind."
有时解决问题最好的办法莫过于忘记它。“人们不太忙时最容易感到焦躁郁闷。”迈尔斯说，“因此，可转移注意力的趣味活动显得非常重要。多接触他人、做喜欢的事、运动或培养兴趣爱好都是保持忙碌的好方法，以免你闲得发慌。”

Identify the times you tend to feel anxious as the weekend wears on (Sunday Night Blues can be a misnomer -- sometimes it starts Sunday morning or afternoon), and purposely plan something to keep your mind focused on something else during those times.
用心观察自己周末什么时候容易烦躁（“周日综合症”并不十分确切，有时烦躁情绪是从周日早上或下午开始的），然后制定计划，使自己在烦躁时将注意力转移到其他事情上去。

2.Put your feelings on paper.
把情绪写在纸上。

Still can't squelch the feeling of impending doom on Monday Morning Eve? Try writing down exactly what it is that's bothering you. "It's a catharsis to get it out on paper ... It's like flushing a toilet: You get it out on paper and you have flushed your system out," says James Campbell Quick, professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at The University of Texas at Arlington. "Plus, when you go back and look at it you may realize that some of what you're thinking and feeling is a little off reality."
还是无法挥去周日晚上的焦躁感？试着把引起烦躁的事情写下来吧。“写出来也是一种宣泄……这就好像冲马桶：写出来，然后再把负面情绪冲走。而且再回头看时，会发现你的所思所想是有点不切实际的。”詹姆斯-坎贝尔-奎科说道。他是德克萨斯大学阿林顿校区的领导力与组织行为学教授。

Listing out exactly what's bothering allows you to "weigh the evidence and examine the facts that are underneath the feelings," Meyers says. He recommends also writing down plans to address each of the stressful situations, because this can help "people reappraise the scope and scale of the stresses that they're looking at over the next several days."
列出烦躁事情能使你“衡量并检查情绪背后的事实。”迈尔斯说。他建议同时也写下应对紧张情形的计划，因为这能帮助人们“重新审视接下来几天的压力范围和强度。”

3.Unplug.
切断源头。

In a world of 24/7 connectivity, there's almost always an option to check in at work -- and that means nine-to-five, five-days-a-week jobs are often a relic of the past. It can be easy to allow the stresses of workweek to seep into your precious time off and tempting to use Sunday as a chance to get a jumpstart on the week. But, as much as you can, it's important to spend time unplugged, even if you can only manage a few hours.
在当今这个全天候无休止运转的世界，工作显然是不可或缺的。这就意味着一周五天、朝九晚五的工作一直是过去循环的结果。因此，工作日的压力自然会延伸到休息时间，甚至造成周日演变成一周的开始。但只要可以，你总能切断源头——哪怕只是几个小时的时间。

Disconnecting on the weekends can allow you the time you need to recharge your batteries after a stressful week, says Joanie Ruge, senior vice president at the career site Monster.com, which conducted the Sunday Night Blues survey. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking some time off will allow you to be even more productive when you get back to the grind.
乔安娜·鲁格是本次进行“周日综合症”的职场网站Monster.com的高级副总裁，她认为，周末抛开工作能确保在辛苦工作一周后给自己充电。这貌似有悖常理，但好好休息确实能保证你在接下来的工作中更有效率。

4.Schedule something to look forward to.
合理安排玩乐。

"We shouldn't save all of our fun times for the weekend," Meyers says. Strategically setting up little things to look forward to throughout the upcoming week, and even the following weekend, can help to soothe some of your Sunday-evening dread.
“人们不该把所有玩乐都安排在周末。”迈尔斯说。有策略地把细小快乐穿插在整个星期，包括周末在内，这样可以缓解周末晚上的抑郁情绪。

These activities don't need to be elaborate (think: watching a TV show, making a phone date with a friend or going out to dinner). "Any of these are small enough to be feasible for workweek activities but large enough to make you feel excited or hopeful," Meyers says. Yup, DVR-ing DWTS totally counts.
“这类活动不必很复杂，可以是看电视剧、跟朋友煲电话粥或外出吃饭，这些琐事不仅方便穿插在工作日，还能让你心情愉悦有盼头。”迈尔斯说。没错，看录像也可以算在内。

5.Set yourself up for success.
做好成功的准备。

Sometimes Sunday night is too late to think about the Sunday Night Blues. Next week, try setting aside some time on Friday afternoon to prepare for Monday, getting things organized so you have less to feel stressed about over the weekend. "Take some time to plan, even if that means you don't dash for the door at 5 p.m. on a Friday," Ruge says. "It actually will help you have a much better and more enjoyable weekend."
有时周日晚上太晚，都无暇去想“周日综合症”。下个星期，可以尝试在周五下午就做好下周一的准备，使一切井井有条，这样你就不会为下周感到头大了。鲁格建议说：“哪怕你周五下午5:00不那么急切，也该花点时间做计划，这样周末才会过得更加舒心愉悦。”
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JessieAqua

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1614鲜花 9鸡蛋

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举报 只看该作者 32楼  发表于: 2014-09-03 0
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回顾曼德拉经典语录 助你克服人生困难

'If I had my time over I would do the same again. So would any man who dares call himself a man. '
“如果时光倒流，我还会做同样的事情。每个敢说自己是男人的人也都会这么做。”

-Speech in mitigation of sentence after being convicted of inciting workers to strike and leaving the country illegally; at the apartheid court known as the Old Synagogue, Pretoria, November 1962
――1962年11月比勒陀利亚，因煽动工人罢工和非法出境而被定罪的曼德拉(Nelson Mandela)在被称作“老犹太教堂”(Old Synagogue)的种族隔离法院申请减刑时发表演说

' During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die. '
“我毕生致力于非洲人民的斗争事业。我反抗过白人专制，也反抗过黑人专制。我一直怀抱一个理想，那就是建立一个人人和谐共处、机会平等的民主自由社会。我愿为这一理想活下去，将它变为现实。但如果有必要的话，我愿为之献出生命。”

-Pretoria Supreme Court, April 20, 1964
――1964年4月20日，比勒陀利亚最高法院

' I have never regarded any man as my superior, either in my life outside or inside prison. '
“无论监狱内还是监狱外的岁月中，我都从未视任何人高我一等。”

-Letter to Gen. Du Preez, commissioner of prisons, written on Robben Island, Cape Town, July 12, 1976
――1976年7月12日于开普敦罗本岛，写给监狱总长Du Preez将军的信

' I had no specific belief except that our cause was just, was very strong and it was winning more and more support. '
“我心中只有一个信念――我们的事业正义且强大，并正在赢得越来越多的支持。”

-Robben Island, Feb. 11, 1994
――1994年2月11日于罗本岛

' Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another. '
“这片美丽的土地将永远不会再遭遇一方对另一方的压迫。”

-Inaugural address, May 9, 1994
――1994年5月9日就职演说

' It is never my custom to use words lightly. If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die. '
“轻易地使用言语从来不是我的风格。如果说27年的监狱生活对我们有什么意义的话，那就是它用独处的寂静让我们懂得言语的珍贵，以及言语对人们生活和死亡的方式有着多么真实的影响。”

-AIDS conference in Durban, South Africa, July 14, 2000
――2000年7月14日于南非德班的艾滋病会议上

' What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead. '
“人生的意义不在于我们仅仅活过的事实。决定我们人生意义的是我们对他人的生活产生了怎样的影响。”

-Walter Sisulu's 90th birthday celebration, Johannesburg, May 18, 2002
――2002年5月18日于约翰内斯堡的西苏卢(Walter Sisulu)90岁生日庆典上

' We tried in our simple way to lead our life in a manner that may make a difference to those of others. '
“我们尝试以自己的一种简单的方式，让我们的人生影响他人的生活。”

-Upon receiving the Roosevelt Institute's Four Freedom Award in Middleburg, Netherlands, June 8, 2002
――2002年6月8日于荷兰米德尔堡，在领取罗斯福学院(Roosevelt Institue)四大自由奖(Four Freedoms Award)前发表演说

' Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do. '
“每个人都可以改善他们的境遇并取得成功，只要对所做之事抱有奉献精神和热情。”

-Letter to Makhaya Ntini, prominent black South African cricketer, Dec. 17, 2009
――2009年12月17日，写给南非知名黑人板球运动员Makhaya Ntini的信

' There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. ... The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ... Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. ... After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. ... I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. ... Death is something inevitable. When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace. I believe I have made that effort and that is, therefore, why I will sleep for the eternity. '
“回到没有变化的地方去寻找改变自我的方式是一个独特的经历……生命最伟大的光辉不在于永不跌落，而在于每一次跌落后的再次升起……不要以我的成就评价我，而要看我有多少次跌倒后重新站起……翻越了一座高山，只会发现前方有更多座高峰等待攀越……我意识到勇敢并非恐惧的消弭，而是战胜恐惧……死亡是个不可避免的事情。当一个人完成了他心中对祖国和人民应尽的职责，他便可安详地离去。我相信我已做出了这份努力，也正因此，我将获得永恒的安息。
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