一、我是单身汉
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤，得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的？"护士问. "有！"杰克想了想说，"我是个单身汉."
二、死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子：你看这张报纸，据统计，死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。
丈夫：那有什么？据我调查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。
三、位置上的冰激凌
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅，你占了我的位置."
"你的位置？你能征明这点吗？"
"能，我在位置上放了杯 冰激凌."
四、别无选择
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天，夏娃问亚当："你当真爱我吗？"
亚当无可奈何地回答："我还有的选择吗？"
五、总是口渴
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
总感到口渴
一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”
六、喝水洗苹果
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
一个有效的方法
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？
杰克：我刚才吃了个
苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
七、凯特的礼物
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot。
Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.
凯特的礼物
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
八、医生懂得多
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。”
妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
九、Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
浪费还是节约
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？
十、他为什么喊
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他为什么喊
牙医：请你不要再喊了！我还没碰你的牙呢。
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀！
[ 此贴被展雯在2010-02-27 00:47重新编辑 ]
